History TheReasonYouSuckSpeech / ComicBooks

18th Aug '16 8:33:07 AM EDP
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*** Also the judge gives one to Moses, Alberto and their respective lawyers (that he calls a "meddling [[WorldOfFunnyAnimals hyena]] and a crazy [[WorldOfFunnyAnimals mole]]". Moses' lawyer had stalked Alberto and his girlfriend Marta and took pictures while they had sex, and Enrico, the mole, had spent the whole time making stupid jokes that proved he wasn't actually a lawyer) before banishing all of them from the farm for a week. The above happens in the aftermath, when Moses is forced to stay in the forest Alberto lives.
29th Jul '16 4:02:54 AM thatmadork
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* In ''ComicBook/VForVendetta'', V sneaks into a TV station and replaces the usual broadcast (the evening news and bad sitcoms) with a recording of him giving the British public, and the human race in general, a severe dressing-down.

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* In ''ComicBook/VForVendetta'', V sneaks into a TV station and replaces the usual broadcast (the evening news and bad sitcoms) with a recording of him giving the British public, and the human race in general, a severe dressing-down. It's quite possibly one of the most epic insult speeches ever put to paper:
-->'''V''': I suppose you're wondering why I called you here this evening. Well, you see, I'm not entirely satisfied with your performance lately... I'm afraid your work's been slipping, and... And I'm afraid we've been thinking about letting you go. Oh, I know, I know. You've been with the company a long time now. Almost... let me see. Almost ten thousand years! my word, doesn't time fly? It seems like only yesterday... I remember the day you commenced your employment, swinging down from the trees, fresh-faced and nervous, a bone clasped in your bristling fist... "Where do I start, sir?" You asked, plaintively." I recall my exact words: "there's a pile of dinosaur eggs over there, youngster." I said, smiling paternally the while. "Get sucking." Well, we've certainly come a long way since then, haven't we? And yes, yes, you're right, in all that time you haven't missed a day. Well done, thou good and faithful servant. Also, please don't think I've forgotten about your outstanding service record, or about all the invaluable contributions you've made to the company... Fire, the wheel, agriculture... It's an impressive list, old timer. A jolly impressive list. Don't get me wrong. But... Well, to be frank, we've had our problems, too. There's no getting away from it. Do you know what I think a lot of it stems from? I'll tell you... It's your basic unwillingness to ''get on'' with the company. You don't seem to want to face up to any real responsibility, or to be your own boss. Lord knows, you've been given plenty of opportunities... [[RefusedTheCall We've offered you promotion time and time again, and each time you've turned us down. "I couldn't handle the work, guv'nor," you wheedled. "I know my place." To be frank, you're not trying, are you?]] You see, you've been standing still for far too long, and it's starting to show in your work... And I might add, in your general standard of behaviour. The constant bickering on the factory floor has not escaped my attention... Nor the recent bouts of rowdiness in the staff canteen. Then of course there's... Hmm. Well, I really didn't want to have to bring this up, but... Well, you see, I've been hearing some disturbing rumours about your personal life. No, never you mind who told me. No names, no pack drills... I understand that you are unable to get on with your spouse. I hear that you argue. I am told that you shout. Violence has been mentioned. I am reliably informed that you always hurt the one you love... ''[[TranquilFury The one you shouldn't hurt at all.]]'' [[HarmfulToMinors And what about the children? It's always the children who suffer, as you're well aware. Poor little mites, what are they to make of it?]] What are they to make of [[TheBully your bullying]], [[StrawNihilist your despair]], [[DirtyCoward your cowardice]] [[HumansAreBastards and all your fondly nurtured bigotries?]] Really, it's not good enough, is it? And it's no good blaming the drop in work standards upon bad management, either... Though, to be sure, [[PeoplesRepublicOfTyranny the management is very bad.]] In fact, let us not mince words... [[DayOfTheJackboot The management is]] ''[[PuttingOnTheReich terrible!]]'' We've had a string of embezzlers, frauds, liars and lunatics making a string of catastrophic decisions. This is plain fact. But who ''elected'' them? It was you! ''You'' who appointed these people! You who gave them the power to make your decisions for you! While I'll admit that anyone can make a mistake once, to go on making the same lethal errors century after century seems to me nothing short of deliberate. You have encouraged these malicious incompetents, who have made your working life a shambles. You have accepted without question their senseless orders. You have allowed them to fill your workspace with [[ScienceIsBad dangerous and]] [[NukeEm unproven machines]]. '''You could have stopped them.''' All you had to say was '''''[[SuddenlyShouting NO!]]''''' You have no spine. You have no pride. You are no longer an asset to the company. I will, however, be generous. You will be granted two years to show me some improvement in your work. If at the end of that time you are still unwilling to make a go of it... You're fired. That will be all. [[MagnificentBastard You may return to your labours.]]
29th Jul '16 3:23:04 AM Tron80
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--->'''Superman:'' You've always claimed you could make this world a paradise if I weren't around to stop you. You had a year without me around. [[ArmorPiercingQuestion What have you done?]]

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--->'''Superman:'' --->'''Superman:''' You've always claimed you could make this world a paradise if I weren't around to stop you. You had a year without me around. [[ArmorPiercingQuestion What have you done?]]
29th Jul '16 3:21:47 AM Tron80
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* ''Comicbook/{{Supergirl}}'': In ''Comicbook/RedDaughterOfKrypton'' Superman gives one to her cousin after Supergirl went off on him, pointing out that she's clung to her anger for so long that she can't get rid of it now, and she always pushes him away even though she constantly complains that she's alone:
-->'''Superman:''' You know what, Kara? Ever since you showed up on Earth, you've been trying to get me to do one thing leave you alone to let you live your own life. You've been so focused on just being angry yes, you lost your home, and that's terrible, but you can't bring it back.\\
'''Supergirl:''' What are you saying?\\
'''Superman:''' You've been choosing anger instead of acceptance for so long that you've become anger. You want to be your own person? Good. Be your own person. I just hope you like who you turn out to be.



** Superman delivers one of these to Lana Lang after she detonated a thousand kryptonite bombs around the world, an action that nearly made the planet uninhabitable not only to Superman, but to anyone with Kryptonian DNA, including Power Girl, ComicBook/{{Supergirl}}, ComicBook/{{Superboy}}, and Krypto. After the radioactive mess is cleaned up, Supes has a chat with Lana.

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** Superman delivers one of these to Lana Lang after she detonated a thousand kryptonite bombs around the world, an action that nearly made the planet uninhabitable not only to Superman, but to anyone with Kryptonian DNA, including Power Girl, ComicBook/{{Supergirl}}, ComicBook/{{Superboy}}, ''Comicbook/PowerGirl'', ''ComicBook/{{Supergirl}}'', ''ComicBook/{{Superboy}}'', and Krypto.''[[ComicBook/KryptoTheSuperdog Krypto]]''. After the radioactive mess is cleaned up, Supes has a chat with Lana.
14th Jul '16 8:59:28 AM WillBGood
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* What may have been Charlie Brown gives one in ''ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}}'', at the end of a week of strips where Lucy has spent the whole week trying to get the kids in the neighborhood to call her "Cutie". CB [[BewareTheNiceOnes finally loses his temper:]]

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* What may have been Charlie Brown gives one in ''ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}}'', at the end of a week of strips where Lucy has spent the whole week trying to get the kids in the neighborhood to call her "Cutie". CB [[BewareTheNiceOnes finally loses his temper:]]
23rd Jun '16 2:20:08 PM Someoneman
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%% This is not a YMMV page, so please avoid linking to YMMV pages such as Moment of Awesome, even if the speech was awesome.



* ''ComicBook/FantasticFour'' Issue 549 (October 2007): Sue Richards puts the Wizard in his place ''[[CrowningMomentOfAwesome in epic fashion]]'', culminating 45 years of [[TookALevelInBadass taking levels in badass]].

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* ''ComicBook/FantasticFour'' Issue 549 (October 2007): Sue Richards puts the Wizard in his place ''[[CrowningMomentOfAwesome in epic fashion]]'', place, culminating 45 years of [[TookALevelInBadass taking levels in badass]].



* What may have been [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Charlie Brown's finest moment]] in ''ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}}'' came at the end of a week of strips where Lucy has spent the whole week trying to get the kids in the neighborhood to call her "Cutie". CB [[BewareTheNiceOnes finally loses his temper:]]

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* What may have been [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Charlie Brown's finest moment]] Brown gives one in ''ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}}'' came ''ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}}'', at the end of a week of strips where Lucy has spent the whole week trying to get the kids in the neighborhood to call her "Cutie". CB [[BewareTheNiceOnes finally loses his temper:]]



** ComicBook/TheKingpin gets a pretty awesome one. After teaming up with a group of other heroes to bring him down, Spidey is betrayed and captured and the Kingpin proceeds to explain to him that he knew about their plan all along and doesn't care, and goes on to tell him that he owns the rights to his image, meaning every act of heroism Spider-Man performs is indirectly funding his criminal empire. [[CutLexLuthorACheck Then he lets him go, so he can make more money out of him.]]

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** ComicBook/TheKingpin gets a pretty awesome one. After teaming up with a group of other heroes to bring him down, Spidey is betrayed and captured and the Kingpin proceeds to explain to him that he knew about their plan all along and doesn't care, and goes on to tell him that he owns the rights to his image, meaning every act of heroism Spider-Man performs is indirectly funding his criminal empire. [[CutLexLuthorACheck Then he lets him go, so he can make more money out of him.]]



* Scott delivers a scathing, venomous, and downright [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesome]] and delicious one to Doom in issue #16 of ''ComicBook/{{FF}}'' while beating him down:

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* Scott delivers a scathing, venomous, and downright [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesome]] and delicious venomous one to Doom in issue #16 of ''ComicBook/{{FF}}'' while beating him down:
5th Apr '16 8:41:08 AM TargetmasterJoe
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* Scott delivers a scathing, venomous, and downright [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesome]] and delicious one to Doom in issue #16 of ''ComicBook/{FF}'' while beating him down:

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* Scott delivers a scathing, venomous, and downright [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesome]] and delicious one to Doom in issue #16 of ''ComicBook/{FF}'' ''ComicBook/{{FF}}'' while beating him down:
5th Apr '16 8:40:32 AM TargetmasterJoe
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* Scott delivers a scathing, venomous, and downright [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesome]] and delicious one to Doom in issue #16 of ''ComicBook/{FF}'' while beating him down:
-->'''Scott:''' I guess if you want your armor, you can keep your armor. At least until I peel it off of you piece by piece by piece. Not that there was anyone inside that empty suit of armor. Oh, there may have been seventy or eighty kilograms of breathing, bleeding flesh housed inside--but certainly nothing I'd call human. You'd have to have a conscience, a soul to be a human being. And now I've saved the best for last.
-->'''Doom:''' No! Not the mask! [[BigNo NO!]]
-->'''Scott:''' Looky, looky! Imagine that. No scars at all. You think the world doesn't know you fix your face the instant you steal ultimate power? The Beyonder, the Life Force--all those fixed faces, all those mind transfers into new bodies and new faces. And yet every single time, you somehow end up scarred again afterwards. You know what I think, Doom? You scar your face yourself. For a man like you, it's much easier inflicting a fake imperfection on yourself than admitting to having a real one. It's not the ugly dead scar tissue of your face that isolated you from humanity, Doom. It's the ugly dead scar tissue of your soul. There's a word for people like you: sociopath. Someone utterly incapable of even conceiving--let alone comprehending--that other people are real. It's Planet Doom, population 1 -- with 7 billion people-shaped cardboard cutouts for you to fold, spindle, and mutilate at will. I've had the misfortune of meeting people convinced you're not a monster. That you're nuanced. Layered. Deep. Having some of the cell-mates I had would soon cure them of that view. Sociopaths mimic human virtues the way jackdaws mimic human voices. Your nuance is the solid gold toilet seat in Saddam's palace. Your sophistication is the Wagner phonograph playing in the background at the Wannsee conference. Your depth is the hopper capacity of Uday's and Qusay's wood chipper. Your boast that "Doom never lies" is always the first lie out of your mouth. Your ruritanian code of honor is as constant and real as a Potemkin village, only a pretense to be the man you know you're not.
-->'''Doom:''' [[WhatTheHellHero And how are you any different than I am...hero? You invade my country, you destroy my property, you assault my person with the goal of first maiming and crippling and then murdering me.]]
-->'''Scott:''' [[ShutUpHannibal I know one way I'm different--I know I'm not God and don't deserve to be.]]
-->'''Doom:''' [[BigNo Noooooo!]]
28th Feb '16 10:07:42 PM WillBGood
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* ''Lupo Alberto'': In the story "Canto di Ferragosto"[[note]]Ferragosto is an Italian holiday happening the 15th August, corresponding to the Feast of Assumption of Mary, so the most faithful translation of the title is ''A Feast of the Assumption Carol''[[/note]], a summer-themed parody of AChristmasCarol, Moses negates to his fellows Mc Kenzies their summer vacation, because there's a lot to do in the farm. That night, as the plot demand it, he has a vision of his past, present and future related to his JerkAss behaviour. In all three time periods he gets a speech by Alberto:

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* ''Lupo Alberto'': In the story "Canto di Ferragosto"[[note]]Ferragosto is an Italian holiday happening the 15th August, corresponding to the Feast of Assumption of Mary, so the most faithful translation of the title is ''A Feast of the Assumption Carol''[[/note]], a summer-themed parody of AChristmasCarol, ''Literature/AChristmasCarol'', Moses negates to cancels his fellows Mc Kenzies their [=McKenzies=]' summer vacation, because there's a lot to do in the farm. That night, as the plot demand it, he has a vision of his past, present and future related to his JerkAss behaviour. In all three time periods he gets a speech by Alberto:
28th Feb '16 10:06:04 PM WillBGood
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-->'''May Parker''': He '''worshipped''' you people. You know that, don't you? He thought of you as--as the knights of the round table. He put on that costume to be like '''you.''' He wanted to earn a place at your table. And you people come into his life--He--you promised to train him? And what did you do? '''Nothing!!''' He was '''fine''' before he met you. He was doing '''fine.'''

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-->'''May --->'''May Parker''': He '''worshipped''' you people. You know that, don't you? He thought of you as--as the knights of the round table. He put on that costume to be like '''you.''' He wanted to earn a place at your table. And you people come into his life--He--you promised to train him? And what did you do? '''Nothing!!''' He was '''fine''' before he met you. He was doing '''fine.'''
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