History TheReasonYouSuckSpeech / ComicBooks

23rd Jun '16 2:20:08 PM Someoneman
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%% This is not a YMMV page, so please avoid linking to YMMV pages such as Moment of Awesome, even if the speech was awesome.



* ''ComicBook/FantasticFour'' Issue 549 (October 2007): Sue Richards puts the Wizard in his place ''[[CrowningMomentOfAwesome in epic fashion]]'', culminating 45 years of [[TookALevelInBadass taking levels in badass]].

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* ''ComicBook/FantasticFour'' Issue 549 (October 2007): Sue Richards puts the Wizard in his place ''[[CrowningMomentOfAwesome in epic fashion]]'', place, culminating 45 years of [[TookALevelInBadass taking levels in badass]].



* What may have been [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Charlie Brown's finest moment]] in ''ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}}'' came at the end of a week of strips where Lucy has spent the whole week trying to get the kids in the neighborhood to call her "Cutie". CB [[BewareTheNiceOnes finally loses his temper:]]

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* What may have been [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Charlie Brown's finest moment]] Brown gives one in ''ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}}'' came ''ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}}'', at the end of a week of strips where Lucy has spent the whole week trying to get the kids in the neighborhood to call her "Cutie". CB [[BewareTheNiceOnes finally loses his temper:]]



** ComicBook/TheKingpin gets a pretty awesome one. After teaming up with a group of other heroes to bring him down, Spidey is betrayed and captured and the Kingpin proceeds to explain to him that he knew about their plan all along and doesn't care, and goes on to tell him that he owns the rights to his image, meaning every act of heroism Spider-Man performs is indirectly funding his criminal empire. [[CutLexLuthorACheck Then he lets him go, so he can make more money out of him.]]

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** ComicBook/TheKingpin gets a pretty awesome one. After teaming up with a group of other heroes to bring him down, Spidey is betrayed and captured and the Kingpin proceeds to explain to him that he knew about their plan all along and doesn't care, and goes on to tell him that he owns the rights to his image, meaning every act of heroism Spider-Man performs is indirectly funding his criminal empire. [[CutLexLuthorACheck Then he lets him go, so he can make more money out of him.]]



* Scott delivers a scathing, venomous, and downright [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesome]] and delicious one to Doom in issue #16 of ''ComicBook/{{FF}}'' while beating him down:

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* Scott delivers a scathing, venomous, and downright [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesome]] and delicious venomous one to Doom in issue #16 of ''ComicBook/{{FF}}'' while beating him down:
5th Apr '16 8:41:08 AM TargetmasterJoe
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* Scott delivers a scathing, venomous, and downright [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesome]] and delicious one to Doom in issue #16 of ''ComicBook/{FF}'' while beating him down:

to:

* Scott delivers a scathing, venomous, and downright [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesome]] and delicious one to Doom in issue #16 of ''ComicBook/{FF}'' ''ComicBook/{{FF}}'' while beating him down:
5th Apr '16 8:40:32 AM TargetmasterJoe
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Added DiffLines:

* Scott delivers a scathing, venomous, and downright [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome awesome]] and delicious one to Doom in issue #16 of ''ComicBook/{FF}'' while beating him down:
-->'''Scott:''' I guess if you want your armor, you can keep your armor. At least until I peel it off of you piece by piece by piece. Not that there was anyone inside that empty suit of armor. Oh, there may have been seventy or eighty kilograms of breathing, bleeding flesh housed inside--but certainly nothing I'd call human. You'd have to have a conscience, a soul to be a human being. And now I've saved the best for last.
-->'''Doom:''' No! Not the mask! [[BigNo NO!]]
-->'''Scott:''' Looky, looky! Imagine that. No scars at all. You think the world doesn't know you fix your face the instant you steal ultimate power? The Beyonder, the Life Force--all those fixed faces, all those mind transfers into new bodies and new faces. And yet every single time, you somehow end up scarred again afterwards. You know what I think, Doom? You scar your face yourself. For a man like you, it's much easier inflicting a fake imperfection on yourself than admitting to having a real one. It's not the ugly dead scar tissue of your face that isolated you from humanity, Doom. It's the ugly dead scar tissue of your soul. There's a word for people like you: sociopath. Someone utterly incapable of even conceiving--let alone comprehending--that other people are real. It's Planet Doom, population 1 -- with 7 billion people-shaped cardboard cutouts for you to fold, spindle, and mutilate at will. I've had the misfortune of meeting people convinced you're not a monster. That you're nuanced. Layered. Deep. Having some of the cell-mates I had would soon cure them of that view. Sociopaths mimic human virtues the way jackdaws mimic human voices. Your nuance is the solid gold toilet seat in Saddam's palace. Your sophistication is the Wagner phonograph playing in the background at the Wannsee conference. Your depth is the hopper capacity of Uday's and Qusay's wood chipper. Your boast that "Doom never lies" is always the first lie out of your mouth. Your ruritanian code of honor is as constant and real as a Potemkin village, only a pretense to be the man you know you're not.
-->'''Doom:''' [[WhatTheHellHero And how are you any different than I am...hero? You invade my country, you destroy my property, you assault my person with the goal of first maiming and crippling and then murdering me.]]
-->'''Scott:''' [[ShutUpHannibal I know one way I'm different--I know I'm not God and don't deserve to be.]]
-->'''Doom:''' [[BigNo Noooooo!]]
28th Feb '16 10:07:42 PM WillBGood
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* ''Lupo Alberto'': In the story "Canto di Ferragosto"[[note]]Ferragosto is an Italian holiday happening the 15th August, corresponding to the Feast of Assumption of Mary, so the most faithful translation of the title is ''A Feast of the Assumption Carol''[[/note]], a summer-themed parody of AChristmasCarol, Moses negates to his fellows Mc Kenzies their summer vacation, because there's a lot to do in the farm. That night, as the plot demand it, he has a vision of his past, present and future related to his JerkAss behaviour. In all three time periods he gets a speech by Alberto:

to:

* ''Lupo Alberto'': In the story "Canto di Ferragosto"[[note]]Ferragosto is an Italian holiday happening the 15th August, corresponding to the Feast of Assumption of Mary, so the most faithful translation of the title is ''A Feast of the Assumption Carol''[[/note]], a summer-themed parody of AChristmasCarol, ''Literature/AChristmasCarol'', Moses negates to cancels his fellows Mc Kenzies their [=McKenzies=]' summer vacation, because there's a lot to do in the farm. That night, as the plot demand it, he has a vision of his past, present and future related to his JerkAss behaviour. In all three time periods he gets a speech by Alberto:
28th Feb '16 10:06:04 PM WillBGood
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-->'''May Parker''': He '''worshipped''' you people. You know that, don't you? He thought of you as--as the knights of the round table. He put on that costume to be like '''you.''' He wanted to earn a place at your table. And you people come into his life--He--you promised to train him? And what did you do? '''Nothing!!''' He was '''fine''' before he met you. He was doing '''fine.'''

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-->'''May --->'''May Parker''': He '''worshipped''' you people. You know that, don't you? He thought of you as--as the knights of the round table. He put on that costume to be like '''you.''' He wanted to earn a place at your table. And you people come into his life--He--you promised to train him? And what did you do? '''Nothing!!''' He was '''fine''' before he met you. He was doing '''fine.'''
28th Feb '16 10:05:31 PM WillBGood
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* In ComicBook/SuperiorSpiderMan, [[ComicBook/DoctorOctopus Otto Octavius]] (who's switched bodies with Spider-man) gives one of these to [[spoiler:the ghostly version of Peter Parker dwelling in his subconscious. He says Peter doesn't deserve to be Spider-Man, because he's inefficient, childish, and pathetic; his moral code has led him to go easy on criminals like The Vulture and Massacre, who only go on to do increasingly terrible things. He also points out that Peter nearly stopped him from saving a girl's life because he was afraid of being found out by the technology [=SpOck=] was presumably going to acquire afterwards.]]

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* In ComicBook/SuperiorSpiderMan, ''ComicBook/SuperiorSpiderMan'', [[ComicBook/DoctorOctopus Otto Octavius]] (who's switched bodies with Spider-man) gives one of these to [[spoiler:the ghostly version of Peter Parker dwelling in his subconscious. He says Peter doesn't deserve to be Spider-Man, because he's inefficient, childish, and pathetic; his moral code has led him to go easy on criminals like The Vulture and Massacre, who only go on to do increasingly terrible things. He also points out that Peter nearly stopped him from saving a girl's life because he was afraid of being found out by the technology [=SpOck=] was presumably going to acquire afterwards.]]
28th Feb '16 10:04:46 PM WillBGood
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* Delivered to ComicBook/BlueBeetle Ted Kord by many other superheroes in the lead up to ComicBook/InfiniteCrisis, including Superman and Martian Manhunter. It makes you wonder how pathetic a hero has to be before [[TheCape Superman]] decides to give him one of these. And how horrific it must have been when everyone discovered he was the OnlySaneMan and had in fact figured out the entire OMAC conspiracy... getting a bullet to the head for his troubles.

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* Delivered to ComicBook/BlueBeetle [[ComicBook/BlueBeetle Ted Kord Kord]] by many other superheroes in the lead up to ComicBook/InfiniteCrisis, including Superman and Martian Manhunter. It makes you wonder how pathetic a hero has to be before [[TheCape Superman]] decides to give him one of these. And how horrific it must have been when everyone discovered he was the OnlySaneMan and had in fact figured out the entire OMAC conspiracy... getting a bullet to the head for his troubles.



** Before that issue, Sue took Doctor Doom down in equally epic fashion in Creator/GrantMorrison's ''ComicBook/FantasticFour: 1234'' issue 4(January 2002);

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** Before that issue, Sue took Doctor Doom down in equally epic fashion in Creator/GrantMorrison's ''ComicBook/FantasticFour: 1234'' issue 4(January 4 (January 2002);



* Another heroic example: ComicBook/SpiderMan vs. Fusion, who held Spidey responsible for the death of his son. Spidey delivers his speech the first part of his speech after Fusion made him think he'd broken his neck.
-->'''Spidey''': Keep talking... maybe it'll drown out the sound of your own guilt.\\
[Later, after realizing Fusion's powers of persuasion] You're just a poor man's [[MasterOfIllusion Mysterio]], and I just got you figured out.
* In ComicBook/SuperiorSpiderMan, [[ComicBook/DoctorOctopus Otto Octavius]] (who's switched bodies with spider-man) gives one of these to [[spoiler:the ghostly version of Peter Parker dwelling in his subconscious. He says Peter doesn't deserve to be Spider-Man, because he's inefficient, childish, and pathetic; his moral code has led him to go easy on criminals like The Vulture and Massacre, who only go on to do increasingly terrible things. He also points out that Peter nearly stopped him from saving a girl's life because he was afraid of being found out by the technology SpOck was presumably going to acquire afterwards.]]
** Of course, as it later turns out, even Otto admits that he was wrong.



** ComicBook/TheKingpin gets a pretty awesome one in ''ComicBook/UltimateSpiderMan''. After teaming up with a group of other heroes to bring him down, Spidey is betrayed and captured and the Kingpin proceeds to explain to him that he knew about their plan all along and doesn't care, and goes on to tell him that he owns the rights to his image, meaning every act of heroism Spider-Man performs is indirectly funding his criminal empire. [[CutLexLuthorACheck Then he lets him go, so he can make more money out of him.]]



** An earlier ''ComicBook/UltimateSpiderMan'' story arc subverts this hilariously. Spidey is face-to-face with the Kingpin, having taken what he needs to finally put the man in prison for murder. Being faced quietly with the first major criminal element he's seen in his short career, Peter takes out a piece of paper with a speech written specifically for the Kingpin.... [[spoiler: The speech is a long series of "You're so fat" jokes that send Kingpin into a fit of unstoppable rage.]]

to:

** Versus Fusion, who held Spidey responsible for the death of his son. Spidey delivers his speech the first part of his speech after Fusion made him think he'd broken his neck.
-->'''Spidey''': Keep talking... maybe it'll drown out the sound of your own guilt.\\
''(later, after realizing Fusion's powers of persuasion)'' You're just a poor man's [[MasterOfIllusion Mysterio]], and I just got you figured out.
* In ComicBook/SuperiorSpiderMan, [[ComicBook/DoctorOctopus Otto Octavius]] (who's switched bodies with Spider-man) gives one of these to [[spoiler:the ghostly version of Peter Parker dwelling in his subconscious. He says Peter doesn't deserve to be Spider-Man, because he's inefficient, childish, and pathetic; his moral code has led him to go easy on criminals like The Vulture and Massacre, who only go on to do increasingly terrible things. He also points out that Peter nearly stopped him from saving a girl's life because he was afraid of being found out by the technology [=SpOck=] was presumably going to acquire afterwards.]]
** Of course, as it later turns out, even Otto admits that he was wrong.
* ''ComicBook/UltimateSpiderMan'':
** An earlier ''ComicBook/UltimateSpiderMan'' story arc subverts this hilariously. Spidey is face-to-face with the Kingpin, having taken what he needs to finally put the man in prison for murder. Being faced quietly with the first major criminal element he's seen in his short career, Peter takes out a piece of paper with a speech written specifically for the Kingpin.... [[spoiler: The speech is a long series of "You're so fat" jokes that send Kingpin into a fit of unstoppable rage.]]



** ComicBook/TheKingpin gets a pretty awesome one. After teaming up with a group of other heroes to bring him down, Spidey is betrayed and captured and the Kingpin proceeds to explain to him that he knew about their plan all along and doesn't care, and goes on to tell him that he owns the rights to his image, meaning every act of heroism Spider-Man performs is indirectly funding his criminal empire. [[CutLexLuthorACheck Then he lets him go, so he can make more money out of him.]]



* ''Lupo Alberto'': In the story "Canto di Ferragosto"[[note]]Ferragosto is an italian holiday happening the 15th August, corresponding to the Feast of Assumption of Mary, so the most faithful translation of the title is ''A Feast of the Assumption Carol''[[/note]], a summer-themed parody of AChristmasCarol, Moses negates to his fellows Mc Kenzies their summer vacation, because there's a lot to do in the farm. That night, as the plot demand it, he has a vision of his past, present and future related to his JerkAss behaviour. In all three time periods he gets a speech by Alberto:

to:

* ''Lupo Alberto'': In the story "Canto di Ferragosto"[[note]]Ferragosto is an italian Italian holiday happening the 15th August, corresponding to the Feast of Assumption of Mary, so the most faithful translation of the title is ''A Feast of the Assumption Carol''[[/note]], a summer-themed parody of AChristmasCarol, Moses negates to his fellows Mc Kenzies their summer vacation, because there's a lot to do in the farm. That night, as the plot demand it, he has a vision of his past, present and future related to his JerkAss behaviour. In all three time periods he gets a speech by Alberto:
28th Feb '16 9:47:53 PM WillBGood
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--->'''Bellamy:''' Have you ''really'' made a difference for even ''one person?''

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--->'''Bellamy:''' -->'''Bellamy:''' Have you ''really'' made a difference for even ''one person?''



-->'''Lucy:''' "I'm an uncutie!"

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-->'''Lucy:''' "I'm I'm an uncutie!""uncutie!"
20th Jan '16 9:05:18 PM CitizenKahne
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* "Transformers Spotlight: Megatron": Megatron has just been brought back in a new body and is eager to take back the Decepticons from Starscream (the Decepticons were suffering under Starscream's rule) as well as beat the tar out of the Seeker. When he sees the pathetic wreck that Starscream has become and how he wants to be punished, Megatron delivers one hell of a speech.

to:

* "Transformers *''Transformers Spotlight: Megatron": Megatron:'' Megatron has just been brought back in a new body and is eager to take back the Decepticons from Starscream (the Decepticons were suffering under Starscream's rule) as well as beat the tar out of the Seeker. When he sees the pathetic wreck that Starscream has become and how he wants to be punished, Megatron delivers one hell of a speech.
4th Jan '16 2:48:53 PM CitizenKahne
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* "ComicTransformers Spotlight: Megatron": Megatron has just been brought back in a new body and is eager to take back the Decepticons from Starscream (the Decepticons were suffering under Starscream's rule) as well as beat the tar out of the Seeker. When he sees the pathetic wreck that Starscream has become and how he wants to be punished, Megatron delivers one hell of a speech.

to:

* "ComicTransformers "Transformers Spotlight: Megatron": Megatron has just been brought back in a new body and is eager to take back the Decepticons from Starscream (the Decepticons were suffering under Starscream's rule) as well as beat the tar out of the Seeker. When he sees the pathetic wreck that Starscream has become and how he wants to be punished, Megatron delivers one hell of a speech.
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