History RefugeInAudacity / Jokes

16th Jun '16 1:51:45 PM NoSpoilerz
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* One day while in English class, a college girl texted her boyfriend and told him that she's bored. Not even 5 minutes later, he came bursting to the classroom and yelling '''"TROLL!!! IN THE DUNGEON!!!... just thought you outta know."''' and then he collapsed on the floor just like Quirrell did in ''Film/HarryPotterAndThePhilosophersStone'' movie. Not only was the teacher laughing so hard, he allowed his students to go home early.

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* One day while in English class, a college girl texted her boyfriend and told him that she's bored. Not even 5 minutes later, he came bursting to the classroom and yelling '''"TROLL!!! IN THE DUNGEON!!!... just thought you outta oughtta know."''' and then he collapsed on the floor just like Quirrell did in ''Film/HarryPotterAndThePhilosophersStone'' movie. Not only was the teacher laughing so hard, he allowed his students to go home early.
13th Jun '16 11:22:19 AM Phoenixion
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* Two undercover {{professional killer}}s were having a serious discussion in a park. A woman overheard and approached them out of curiousity. "What are you discussing about?" she asked. One of the two casually replied, "We are planning to kill 100 people and a cat." The woman got startled and confused, "Why a cat?" Then the other of the two said, "See? I told you nobody will care about the 100 people."
14th May '16 11:57:16 AM Phoenixion
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* One day while in English class, a college girl texted her boyfriend and told him that she's bored. Not even 5 minutes later, he came bursting to the classroom and yelling '''"TROLL!!! IN THE DUNGEON!!!... just thought you outta know."''' and then he collapsed on the floor just like Quirrell did in ''Film/HarryPotterAndThePhilosophersStone'' movie. Not only was the teacher laughing so hard, he allowed his students to go home early.
17th Jan '16 10:18:09 AM nombretomado
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* In one of his stand-up routines, Creator/JohnMulaney says that ''LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit'' must have this because even though other shows get attacked for merely cussing too much, ''SVU'' regularly says stuff like "Looks like the victim had anal contusions" or "Looks like we found semen and fecal matter in the victim's ear canal." The bit is part of his Comedy Central Special, "New in Town."

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* In one of his stand-up routines, Creator/JohnMulaney says that ''LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit'' ''Series/LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit'' must have this because even though other shows get attacked for merely cussing too much, ''SVU'' regularly says stuff like "Looks like the victim had anal contusions" or "Looks like we found semen and fecal matter in the victim's ear canal." The bit is part of his Comedy Central Special, "New in Town."
18th Nov '15 9:04:56 PM wyattte
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* In one of his stand-up routines, John Mulaney says that ''LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit'' must have this because even though other shows get attacked for merely cussing too much, ''SVU'' regularly says stuff like "Looks like the victim had anal contusions" or "Looks like we found semen and fecal matter in the victim's ear canal." The bit is part of his Comedy Central Special, "New in Town."

to:

* In one of his stand-up routines, John Mulaney Creator/JohnMulaney says that ''LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit'' must have this because even though other shows get attacked for merely cussing too much, ''SVU'' regularly says stuff like "Looks like the victim had anal contusions" or "Looks like we found semen and fecal matter in the victim's ear canal." The bit is part of his Comedy Central Special, "New in Town."
26th Jul '15 10:39:43 PM Omeganian
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** A Rabbi on Sabbath is also a common variant.
12th May '15 7:44:17 PM StarSword
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* In one of his stand-up routines, John Mulaney says that ''LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit'' must have this because even though other shows get attacked for merely cussing too much, ''SVU'' regularly says stuff like "Looks like the victim had anal contusions" or "Looks like we found semen and fecal matter in the victim's ear canal." The bit is part of his Comedy Central Special, "New in Town."

to:

* In one of his stand-up routines, John Mulaney says that ''LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit'' must have this because even though other shows get attacked for merely cussing too much, ''SVU'' regularly says stuff like "Looks like the victim had anal contusions" or "Looks like we found semen and fecal matter in the victim's ear canal." The bit is part of his Comedy Central Special, "New in Town.""
* A pastor gets up on Sunday morning. Beautiful day, so he decides to call in sick from church and go golfing. {{God}} and the angels see this and the angels take umbrage that a man of God would skip church for golf. God says, "You're right, I need to deal with this."\\
Next shot the pastor makes goes ricocheting off several trees, rebounds off the clubhouse and goes slamming into the cup for a hole-in-one. Angels go, "Boss, I thought you were going to ''punish'' the guy." God responds, "I did. Who can he tell about this?"
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5th Apr '15 7:13:28 AM EDP
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** [[TruthInTelevision Incidentally, a Turkish girl did just that, with the addition of an orphan pension]]. She got it, [[ObviousRulePatch before they closed the loophole]].
29th Dec '14 5:03:57 PM nombretomado
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* From GeorgeCarlin's album "What Am I Doing in New Jersey?":

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* From GeorgeCarlin's Creator/GeorgeCarlin's album "What Am I Doing in New Jersey?":
10th Oct '14 5:09:32 AM NicTyn
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* In one of his stand-up routines, John Mulaney says that ''LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit'' must have this because even though other shows get attacked for merely cussing too much, ''SVU'' regularly says stuff like "Looks like the victim had anal contusions" are "Looks like we found semen and fecal matter in the victim's ear canal." The bit is part of his Comedy Central Special, "New in Town."

to:

* In one of his stand-up routines, John Mulaney says that ''LawAndOrderSpecialVictimsUnit'' must have this because even though other shows get attacked for merely cussing too much, ''SVU'' regularly says stuff like "Looks like the victim had anal contusions" are or "Looks like we found semen and fecal matter in the victim's ear canal." The bit is part of his Comedy Central Special, "New in Town."
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