History Quotes / WrittenByCastMember

->The locker room empties as the heels and the faces do battle in a wild brawl of scantily-clad women that catches Dave [=McLane=] in the middle of the action. Would you believe who produced this show?
-->--'''''{{Website/Wrestlecrap}}''''' [[http://wrestlecrap.com/inductions/induction-the-glow-pilot-chat-with-hot-singles-and-tag-teams-in-your-area/ on]] ''{{Wrestling/GLOW}}''

->One day my kid's gonna bring home a history book, and it will say that Oprah was the one who discovered radium.
-->--'''[[http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/the-hater-s-guide-to-the-2015-oscars-1686621568 Drew Magary]]''', "The Hater's Guide to the 2015 Oscars"

->[as Creator/NeilBreen] "I've decided to write a script where everyone wants to fuck me. Nothing wrong with nonfiction!"
-->--'''WebVideo/TheCinemaSnob''' on ''Film/FatefulFindings''

->Jarrett learned if you can't beat them, and you can't join them, then you [[StartMyOwn make your own fucking company]]. Thus [[{{Wrestling/TNA}} LOLTNA was born]], where Jarrett won the belt a lot.
-->--'''''Taimapedia''''' on Wrestling/JeffJarrett

->When you picture the kind of filmmaker who would write, direct and produce a movie just to cast himself in the lead role of martial arts master rock star, you're picturing David Heavener (''Lethal Ninja'', ''Kill Crazy'')...Heavener is a living Creator/TimAndEric sketch, and his fight scenes are [[WhatTheFuAreYouDoing violent mockeries of violence]]. It's often hard to tell if Heavener is trying to punch someone in the face or [[VisibleBoomMic knock the boom mic above their heads out of frame.]]
-->-- '''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''' [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/9-supposed-action-stars-who-clearly-couldnt-fight/ "9 Supposed Action Stars Who Clearly Couldn't Fight"]]

->You get a sense – that if he could have got away with it – Shatner would have included the line ''“I need Bill Shatner.”'' It gets worse from there. While ''[[Film/StarTrekIVTheVoyageHome The Voyage Home]]'' featured no larger-than-life adversary, it seems like there’s only one opponent big enough to take on Captain James T. Kirk. ''The Final Frontier'' [[UltimateShowdownOfUltimateDestiny sees Kirk taking on God]].
-->--'''[[http://them0vieblog.com/2013/08/15/non-review-review-star-trek-v-the-final-frontier/ Darren Mooney]]''' on ''Film/StarTrekVTheFinalFrontier''

->I really like Nick Briggs as both a writer and a person, I think he has talent and he is a very good ambassador for Big Finish. Lately though his efforts are being hampered by the fact that his finite talent is being stretched in too many directions. His fingers are in so many pies that only his thumbs are left to use the keyboard.
-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2016/01/the-heart-of-battle-written-and.html Joe Ford]]''' on AudioPlay/BigFinishDoctorWho, "The Heart of the Battle"

->Any time an active wrestler is involved in that process of management or creative it is a recipe for disaster, because you can throw objectivity right out the window.
-->-- '''Wrestling/JimRoss''' on Wrestling/{{WCW}}, ''Wrestling/BrianPillman: Loose Cannon''

->There's an old belief in wrestling that bookers shouldn't be on-screen talent themselves: it's almost impossible for them to do what's right for business, since what's right for business is usually not them.
-->--'''R. D. Reynolds''' and '''Bryan Alvarez''', ''Literature/TheDeathOfWCW''

->The most embarrassing part is that Beatty is still living out his {{glory days}} in this movie. This movie really isn’t a self deprecating look at an aging lothario. No, this is Warren Beatty, pretending to be Warren Beatty in his 30’s. You simply don’t buy the [[DirtyOldMan frumpy looking Beatty in his 60’s]] still being able to f*ck endless waves of models in their 20’s.
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2010/02/16/town-country-2001-peter-chelsom/ on]] ''Town & Country'' (2001)

->''Billy Jack'' is a series of four movies released in the late '60s and the '70s, all featuring the title character Billy Jack, a [[FakeNationality half-Navajo]] martial artist and Vietnam veteran who stood up to The Man and protected Indians, hippies, and young people. Tom Laughlin (1931-2013) starred, directed, wrote, etc. etc. etc... Watch our intrepid vision-questing shaman confront cobra spirits, turn red, turn blue, punch Jesus in the face, and more.
-->--'''''Wiki/RationalWiki'''''

->When Kirk points out that there must be other ships that can help (thus avoiding [[TheMainCharactersDoEverything the bizarre scenario]] from ''Film/StarTrekTheMotionPicture''), the admiral cuts him off. ''“Other ships, yes, but no experienced commanders. Captain… I need Jim Kirk.”'' He doesn’t need the ''Enterprise''. [[SnubByOmission He doesn’t need its crew.]]\\\
You get a sense – that if he could have got away with it – Shatner would have included the line ''“I need Bill Shatner.”'' It gets worse from there. While ''[[Film/StarTrekIVTheVoyageHome The Voyage Home]]'' featured no larger-than-life adversary, it seems like there’s only one opponent big enough to take on Captain James T. Kirk. ''The Final Frontier'' [[UltimateShowdownOfUltimateDestiny sees Kirk taking on God]].

->Any time Oprah appears in a movie, it is a deliberate attempt by Oprah to insert herself into critical moments in world history. I'm surprised she didn't play fucking Moses in ''{{Film/Exodus}}''. One day my kid's gonna bring home a history book, and it will say that Oprah was the one who discovered radium.

->After a decade or so of kicking the world's eyeballs in the nuts, anybody is bound to develop an ego...It depicts him as everything from a cop to [[AnswersToTheNameOfGod the messiah.]] Chuck Norris focused his steely glare entirely on ''Series/WalkerTexasRanger'' to the exclusion of all other projects. The show rapidly devolved into a masturbatory tribute to Chuck Norris by Chuck Norris, spouting scene after scene of hero worship so out of touch with reality it became the most [[{{Narm}} unintentionally hilarious]] show on television.
-->-- '''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_15819_5-movie-martial-artists-that-lost-deathmatch-to-dignity_p5.html#ixzz31rOsvMUN "5 Movie Martial Artists That Lost a Deathmatch to Dignity"]]

->Every time I see ''[=‘=]story by Creator/DavidDuchovny and...[=’=]'' on the credits I wince because that has rarely gone down well ('Colony'/'End Game', 'Avatar') and usually involves Mulder hogging the limelight [[OutOfFocus at the expense of his partner]]... Spare me the soap opera suggestion that [[EveryoneIsRelated the Smoking Man is Mulder’s father]]...The fact that Mulder as good as chooses his objective over his family in this episode leads me to believe that [Chris] Carter and Duchovny have lost sight of how a reasonable person would react. It seems in order to turn Mulder into [[TheChosenOne a mythological figure]] he has to jettison his personal life completely.
-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-x-files-season-three.html Joe Ford]]''' on ''Series/TheXFiles'', "Talitha Cumi"

->So, Phoebe's like '''super-famous''' now, with her advice column ''Ask Phoebe.'' Apparently this is a big deal to people, because [[PuritySue she writes the best advice in the world and she's perfect human being]]. How does she handle being so pretty and talented, intuitive and clever, and somebody kill me now.
-->-- '''Creator/AllisonPregler''' on ''{{Series/Charmed}}'' Season 5

->'''Chris''': Tom Welling really does his best work when he’s playing a smarmy villainous jerk. I’m starting to get the feeling that’s the only reason why they brought [[[EvilTwin Ultraman]]] back for a second episode. Dude’s executive producer of the show, when he has fun doing something, he probably wants it to happen again.\\
'''David''': Yeah, there’s a total joylessness to when he’s actually playing Clark as opposed to when he’s playing a dick. He’s just going through the motions. It makes you wonder why he’s stuck around on the show for so long, including to the point of getting some degree of creative control.
-->-- Chris Sims and David Uzumeri, [[http://comicsalliance.com/recap-smallivlle-episode-10-17-kent/ on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Kent")

->We rejoin Eddie in the strip club, as he chugs a beer to the sound of the music, playing and swaying! It's actually pretty impressive on [[Creator/NicolasCage (Nic) Cage's]] part... The girl dancing on stage comes up, jiggling her bare breasts in Eddie’s face. It's good to be the director’s brother, isn't it?
-->-- '''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''' [[http://www.agonybooth.com/movies/Deadfall_1993.aspx?Page=4 on]] ''{{Film/Deadfall}}'' (1993)

->When you picture the kind of filmmaker who would write, direct and produce a movie just to cast himself in the lead role of martial arts master rock star, you're picturing David Heavener (''Lethal Ninja'', ''Kill Crazy'')...Heavener is a living TimAndEric sketch, and his fight scenes are [[WhatTheFuAreYouDoing violent mockeries of violence]]. It's often hard to tell if Heavener is trying to punch someone in the face or [[VisibleBoomMic knock the boom mic above their heads out of frame.]]

->We rejoin Eddie in the strip club, as he chugs a beer to the sound of the music, playing and swaying! It’s actually pretty impressive on [[Creator/NicolasCage (Nic) Cage’s]] part... The girl dancing on stage comes up, jiggling her bare breasts in Eddie’s face. It’s good to be the director’s brother, isn’t it?

->There's an old belief in wrestling that bookers shouldn't be on-screen talent themselves: it's almost impossible for them to do what's right for business, since what's right for business [is usually not them. up with Hulk and built the show around him as well.

->In the end, Shatner remained mysteriously unhumbled by his [[BoxOfficeBomb disastrous directorial debut]]. For years to come, he continued to [[IRejectYourReality live in a fantasy world]] wherein he would be allowed to direct another ''Star Trek'' movie. This was a regular refrain during interviews with him, and never failed to send a chill up the spine of Trekkies everywhere.
-->-- '''Jabootu''' [[http://www.jabootu.com/startrekv.htm on]] ''Film/StarTrekVTheFinalFrontier''

->The show opened with the [[Wrestling/NewWorldOrder nWo]] b-squad's arrival and their immediate demand that the production crew tear down anything with the WCW logo on it. Every sign, every banner, even the gigantic metal "WCW" were all laid to waste. In their place were custom-designed [=nWo Nitro banners and set pieces=]... Although the entire group glad-handed each other and went on about how wonderful they all were, the night truly belonged, of course, to Wrestling/HulkHogan. The majority of ''[=nWo Nitro=]'' was less of a wrestling show than it was a celebration of the life and times of Terry Bollea, complete with a twenty-minute segment in which [[Wrestling/EricBischoff Bischoff]] gave Hogan presents like [[ShrineToSelf giant banners and motorcycles featuring his image]]. He even dropped down to one knee and placed a ring (in the shape of the WCW World title) upon his finger. It looked for all the world like he was either going to propose to the Hulkster [[SycophanticServant or blow him mid-ring]]. Maybe both.\\\
Although all this posturing no doubt pleased Bischoff and Hogan, those watching at home didn't share the love...the show actually dropped almost a full point from its average, and the original plan to air ''[=nWo Nitro=]'' on a weekly basis was permanently scrapped. The elaborate sets, the shirts, the video production--it all amounted to nothing more than [[ConspicuousConsumption a colossal waste of money.]]

->Of course as soon as [[WarrenBeatty (Warren) Beatty]] came on the problems started to mount...The moment he was attached to the project, he asked for [[WagTheDirector the script to be rewritten]]. Actors and crew sat for hours on end while the pages for that day would be written...The most embarrassing part is that Beatty is still living out his {{glory days}} in this movie. This movie really isn’t a self deprecating look at an aging lothario. No, this is Warren Beatty, pretending to be Warren Beatty in his 30’s. You simply don’t buy the [[DirtyOldMan frumpy looking Beatty in his 60’s]] still being able to f*ck endless waves of models in their 20’s.

->When you picture the kind of filmmaker who would write, direct and produce a movie just to cast himself in the lead role of martial arts master rock star, you're picturing David Heavener (''Lethal Ninja'', ''Kill Crazy''). Undiscovered actresses take one look at him and know his first question is going to be unzipping his pants. If evil scientists collected all the sperm from Hollywood [[CastingCouch casting room couches]] and jammed it into Tori Spelling, David Heavener is the beast that would hatch from her chestplate... Heavener is a living TimAndEric sketch, and his fight scenes are [[WhatTheFuAreYouDoing violent mockeries of violence]]. It's often hard to tell if Heavener is trying to punch someone in the face or [[VisibleBoomMic knock the boom mic above their heads out of frame.]]

->''Billy Jack'' is a series of four movies released in the late '60s and the '70s, all featuring the title character Billy Jack, a [[FakeNationality half-Navajo]] martial artist and Vietnam veteran who stood up to The Man and protected Indians, hippies, and young people. Tom Laughlin (1931-2013) starred, directed, wrote, etc. etc. etc...The result was just a mess and completely lacks quotable lines or coherence, but has [[MagicalNativeAmerican some of the most ridiculous "Indian vision quest" nonsense ever put on film]] and is a must-see if you enjoy poking fun at wannabee shamans and New Agers. Watch our intrepid vision-questing shaman confront cobra spirits, turn red, turn blue, punch Jesus in the face, and more.

->[[Creator/LeonardNimoy Nimoy]] enjoyed great success as the director of ''Film/StarTrekIIITheSearchForSpock'' and ''Film/StarTrekIVTheVoyageHome'' ([[TheOneWith the 'whale' one]], most successful of the ''Franchise/StarTrek'' movies). This allowed him the opportunity to helm the blockbuster ''{{Three Men and a Baby}}'', which for years remained the most successful Hollywood comedy ever. [[Creator/WilliamShatner Shatner]] decided that it was his turn to direct a movie, and refused to sign up for the fifth ''Star Trek'' film unless he was allowed to direct. So it came to be, with Shatner co-writing the film as well...the movie’s biggest problem is that the entire film is noticeably tilted towards his own character, James Kirk. Nimoy, on the other hand, took obvious pains in the films he directed to keep Spock merely part of the ensemble (admittedly, one of the more important parts). Yet, there’s no denying that this film was designed as a valentine to James T., and that the other characters, Spock and [=McCoy=] included, are merely around [[GreekChorus to back him up and admire him]]. In the end, Shatner remained mysteriously unhumbled by his [[BoxOfficeBomb disastrous directorial debut]]. For years to come, he continued to [[IRejectYourReality live in a fantasy world]] wherein he would be allowed to direct another ''Star Trek'' movie. This was a regular refrain during interviews with him, and never failed to send a chill up the spine of Trekkies everywhere.

->It’s hard not to read a lot of ''The Final Frontier'' as Creator/WilliamShatner power fantasy. Indeed, even when the ''Enterprise'' receives its mission briefing, Kirk is reassured of his own importance. When Kirk points out that there must be other ships that can help (thus avoiding [[TheMainCharactersDoEverything the bizarre scenario]] from ''Film/StarTrekTheMotionPicture''), the admiral cuts him off. ''“Other ships, yes, but no experienced commanders. Captain… I need Jim Kirk.”'' He doesn’t need the ''Enterprise''. [[SnubByOmission He doesn’t need its crew.]]\\\

->By the way, I know the real reason that ''{{Film/Selma}}'' got hosed: [[OprahWinfrey OPRAH.]] I don't trust any movie that has Oprah in it. Not ''Selma''. Not ''{{Film/Beloved}}''. Not ''[[{{Film/TheButler}} Lee Daniels' The Butler Presented By Oprah Brought to You by Maybelline]]''. Any time Oprah appears in a movie, it is a deliberate attempt by Oprah to insert herself into critical moments in world history. I'm surprised she didn't play fucking Moses in ''{{Film/Exodus}}''. One day my kid's gonna bring home a history book, and it will say that Oprah was the one who discovered radium.

->After a decade or so of kicking the world's eyeballs in the nuts, anybody is bound to develop an ego. Creator/ChuckNorris decided that wasn't enough, and outdid everybody by cultivating arrogance so magnificent it wears a tiny cape and crown of its own. In his later movies, the fight scenes don't even bother building suspense by letting the bad guys touch Chuck. He holds a foot out, the camera settles itself behind it, and you sit back and watch as a disembodied boot [[BoringInvincibleHero mows down wave after wave of anonymous terrorist.]] Some actors phone it in when they're not into a movie; Chuck Norris didn't even send a fax. Eventually he decided he may as well write the parts himself, and proceeded to create ''Series/WalkerTexasRanger''. A show he at various points wrote, produced, directed, starred in and even sang the theme song for. It depicts him as everything from a cop to [[AnswersToTheNameOfGod the messiah.]] Chuck Norris focused his steely glare entirely on ''Walker, Texas Ranger'' to the exclusion of all other projects. The show rapidly devolved into a masturbatory tribute to Chuck Norris by Chuck Norris, spouting scene after scene of hero worship so out of touch with reality it became the most [[{{Narm}} unintentionally hilarious]] show on television.

->Every time I see ''[=‘=]story by Creator/DavidDuchovny and...[=’=]'' on the credits I wince because that has rarely gone down well ('Colony'/'End Game', 'Avatar') and usually involves Mulder hogging the limelight [[OutOfFocus at the expense of his partner]]... Spare me the soap opera suggestion that [[EveryoneIsRelated the Smoking Man is Mulder’s father]]...I’m also getting a little bored of the way that our heroes' family members are exploited in these mythology episodes; how many more are they prepared to lose on this quest of theirs? I could understand Scully wanting to continue searching for the killer of her sister, but with Mulder’s father and now mother placed in jeopardy, you would have to start to question whether the truth was worth discovering if it meant a massacre of your loved ones. The fact that Mulder as good as chooses his objective over his family in this episode leads me to believe that [Chris] Carter and Duchovny have lost sight of how a reasonable person would react. It seems in order to turn Mulder into [[TheChosenOne a mythological figure]] he has to jettison his personal life completely.

->So, Phoebe's like '''super-famous''' now, with her advice column ''Ask Phoebe.'' Apparently this is a big deal to people, because [[PuritySue she writes the best advice in the world and she's perfect human being]]. How does she handle being so pretty and talented, intuitive and clever, and somebody kill me now. Someone, tell me: in ''what'' world you get interviews, billboards, assistants, potential national syndication ''and'' a radio show, all for shitting out stock love advice like, 'Follow your heart'?...How is she qualified in any way to give people dating tips? Since when has she made ''any'' good dating decisions? [[InformedAbility Her guys have always been terrible]], even in the show's canon...She always dated bad boys or made stupid decisions--back in the days when she was a character, and not an ego-stroking cutout Alyssa Milano could live vicariously through.

->Jarrett learned if you can't beat them, and you can't join them, then you [[StartMyOwn make your own fucking company]]. Thus [[{{Wrestling/TNA}} LOLTNA was born]], where Jarrett won the belt a lot...One day Wrestling/AJStyles in storyline married [[Wrestling/KurtAngle Karen Angle]] and had affair with her; Jeff decided this would be a great idea to do in {{real life}}. So he put his dick in Karen Angle.

->Jarrett learned if you can't beat them, and you can't join them, then you [[StartMyOwn make your own fucking company]]. Thus [[{{Wrestling/TNA}} LOLTNA was born]], where Jarrett won the belt a lot...One day Wrestling/AJStyles in storyline married [[Wrestling/KurtAngle Karen Angle]] and had affair with her; Jeff decided this would be a great idea to do in {{real life}}. So he put his dick in Karen Angle. Someone leaked that Karen had been spending days at Jarrett's house and Dixie went mad and banned Jarrett. Thus giving Dixie complete control over the company.
-->--'''''Taimapedia'''''

->Of course, since actual ''wrestling'' has broken out, they have to cut to commercial. Because we can't have wrestling, this is the Talking Time on "Total Nonstop Action" wrestling. We have to talk for a long time. So after the commercial, we come back for more talking. [[Wrestling/KurtAngle Angle's]] backstage with the other three tournament semifinalists and says they're ''"all chasing the World Title; Hell,'' [he's] ''put his whole career and life on the line to do it! But tonight, it's BIGGER than that! ...This is about"''--I'm not kidding, he starts saying this--''"this is about the debt ''[they]'' owe '''Dixie Carter, Hulk Hogan, and Eric Bischoff!'''"''\\\
I've never seen more ass-kissing of upper management, ever. They do this every show! Every wrestler who comes out who's a good guy has to say, ''"We owe EVERYTHING to Dixie Carter! Dixie Carter is [[PuritySue the GREATEST human being on the face of the planet]], and anyone would oppose her is just THE LOWEST HITLER SLIME!"''
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''' [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74DmENyMaAw#t=900s on]] ''{{Wrestling/TNA}} [=iMPACT=]'' 8.26.10

->Of course as soon as [[WarrenBeatty (Warren) Beatty]] came on the problems started to mount...The moment he was attached to the project, he asked for [[WagTheDirector the script to be rewritten]]. Actors and crew sat for hours on end while the pages for that day would be written...The most embarrassing part is that Beatty is still living out his {{glory days}} in this movie. This movie really isn’t a self deprecating look at an aging lothario. No, this is Warren Beatty, pretending to be Warren Beatty in his 30’s. You simply don’t buy the frumpy looking Beatty in his 60’s still being able to [[ThePornomancer f*ck endless waves of models in their 20’s.]]

->Of course, since actual ''wrestling'' has broken out, they have to cut to commercial. Because we can't have wrestling, this is the Talking Time on "Total Nonstop Action" wrestling. We have to talk for a long time. So after the commercial, we come back for more talking. [[Wrestling/KurtAngle Angle's]] backstage with the other three tournament semifinalists and says they're ''"all chasing the World Title; Hell,'' [he's] ''put his whole career and life on the line to do it! But tonight, it's BIGGER than that! ...This is about"''--I'm not kidding, he starts saying this--''"this is about the debt ''[they]'' owe Dixie Carter, Wrestling/HulkHogan, and Wrestling/EricBischoff!"''\\\

->Of course as soon as [[WarrenBeatty (Warren) Beatty]] came on the problems started to mount...The moment he was attached to the project, he asked for [[WagTheDirector the script to be rewritten]]. Actors and crew sat for hours on end while the pages for that day would be written...The most embarrassing part is that Beatty is still living out his {{glory days}} in this movie. This movie really isn’t a self deprecating look at an aging lothario. No, this is Warren Beatty, pretending to be Warren Beatty in his 30’s. You simply don’t buy the frumpy looking Beatty in his 60’s still being able to [[ThePornomancer f*ck endless waves of models in their 20’s.]]
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Miles Antwiler]]''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2010/02/16/town-country-2001-peter-chelsom/ on]] ''Town & Country'' (2001)

Although all this posturing no doubt pleased Bischoff and Hogan, those watching at home didn't share the love...the show actually dropped almost a full point from its average, and the original plan to air ''[=nWo Nitro=]'' on a weekly basis was permanently scrapped. The elaborate sets, the shirts, the video production-it all amounted to nothing more than a colossal waste of money.

->Let’s face it: it has almost always been good to be Wrestling/EricBischoff. Before he was getting paid big bucks to spend bottomless pits of someone else’s money in Wrestling/{{TNA}}, he was… well, doing exactly that in Wrestling/{{WCW}}. The difference was that starting in 1996, the spending spree was really paying off, with the Wrestling/NewWorldOrder angle being perhaps the hottest in wrestling history. In fact, the faction had grown so dominant that they were regularly (and intentionally) making the rest of the company look weak... All power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely, and absolute power in the hands of Eric Bischoff meant non-stop {{squash match}}es and [[ThePornomancer rogering homely chicks]].
-->-- '''''{{Website/WrestleCrap}}''''', [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/nwo-souled-out-1997/ "[=nWo=] Souled Out 1997 - Eric Bishoff's Circle-Jerk"]]

->By the way, I know the real reason that ''{{Film/Selma}}'' got hosed: [[OprahWinfrey OPRAH.]] I don't trust any movie that has Oprah in it. Not ''Selma''. Not ''{{Film/Beloved}}''. Not ''[[{{Film/TheButler}} Lee Daniels' The Butler Presented By Oprah Brought to You by Maybelline]]''. Any time Oprah appears in a movie, it is a deliberate attempt by Oprah to insert herself into critical moments in world history. I'm surprised she didn't play fucking Moses in ''{{Film/Exodus}}''. One day my kid's gonna bring home a history book, and it will say that Oprah was the one who discovered radium.
-->--'''[[http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/the-hater-s-guide-to-the-2015-oscars-1686621568 Drew Magary]]''', "The Hater's Guide to the 2015 Oscars"

-->-- '''WebVideo/ObscurusLupa''' on ''{{Series/Charmed}}'' Season 5

->Wrestling/HulkHogan went on a media run on the weekend before ''Bound for Glory'' to hype the [=PPV=], which featured Wrestling/KurtAngle and Wrestling/Bobb Roode in the main event match (for the World Heavyweight Championship). On ''Radio/TheHowardSternShow'', Hogan hyped his match with Sting while saying Angle would face "[[MyFriendsAndZoidberg some other guy]]" (Roode). On another radio interview two days before the show, someone asked Hogan about Bobby Roode. Hogan said Roode's "not ready", then said he would have preferred to see Wrestling/JamesStorm in Roode's position. Hogan did both interviews completely out-of-character...Kurt Angle ended up defeating Bobby Roode at ''Bound for Glory'' despite the massive amount of hype {{Wrestling/TNA}} put into Roode's push towards the [=PPV=]. Making matters worse: the injured Angle could barely wrestle a full match, which cut the main event of TNA's alleged "''[[{{Wrestling/WWE}} WrestleMania]]'' equivalent" down to less than ten minutes. TNA's long-term plans had Roode winning the title at the PPV -- apparently, TNA had this plan in place since the summer -- but these plans mysteriously changed the night before the event (after Hogan's "Roode isn't ready, brother" media run). Numerous dirtsheets (and, later on, TNA performers) credited Hogan as the major campaigner in getting the finish changed at the last minute...Roode's (media) appearances had been canceled on Monday (the day after ''Bound for Glory'') and TNA hadn't booked anyone to fill the gap, furthering the theory of Roode's push getting pulled days before the biggest moment of his career. The appearances were later rescheduled for times after Roode actually won the title.\\\
Some pundits believe Hogan gave Roode the shaft at the [=PPV=] so Hogan's big face turn [[AttentionWhore wouldn't be overshadowed]] by the most-awaited world title change in TNA history. Hogan defended the booking by claiming that Roode would be better off as a heel.
-->--'''''Taimapedia''''' on ''Bound For Glory 2011''

->''Billy Jack'' is a series of four movies released in the late '60s and the '70s, all featuring the title character Billy Jack, a [[FakeNationality half-Navajo]] martial artist and Vietnam veteran who stood up to The Man and protected Indians, hippies, and young people. Tom Laughlin (1931-2013) starred, directed, wrote, etc. etc. etc...The result was just a mess and completely lacks quotable lines or coherence, but has [[MagicalnativeAmerican some of the most ridiculous "Indian vision quest" nonsense ever put on film]] and is a must-see if you enjoy poking fun at wannabee shamans and New Agers. Watch our intrepid vision-questing shaman confront cobra spirits, turn red, turn blue, punch Jesus in the face, and more.

->So, Phoebe's like ''super-famous'' now, with her advice column ''Ask Phoebe.'' Apparently this is a big deal to people, because [[InformedAbility she writes the best advice in the world and she's perfect human being]]. How does she handle being so pretty and talented, intuitive and clever, and somebody kill me now. Someone, tell me: in ''what'' world you get interviews, billboards, assistants, potential national syndication ''and'' a radio show, all for shitting out stock love advice like, 'Follow your heart'?...How is she qualified in any way to give people dating tips? Since when has she made ''any'' good dating decisions? [[KnowNothingKnowItAll Her guys have always been terrible]], even in the show's canon....[[AllGirlsWantBadBoys She always dated bad boys]] or made stupid decisions--back in the days when she was a character, and not an ego-stroking cutout Alyssa Milano could live vicariously through.

->Every time I see ''[=‘=]story by Creator/DavidDuchovny and...[=’=]'' on the credits I wince because that has rarely gone down well ('Colony'/'End Game', 'Avatar') and usually involves Mulder hogging the limelight [[OutOfFocus at the expense of his partner]]... Spare me the soap opera suggestion that [[EveryoneIsRelated the Smoking Man is Mulder’s father]]..I’m also getting a little bored of the way that our heroes' family members are exploited in these mythology episodes; how many more are they prepared to lose on this quest of theirs? I could understand Scully wanting to continue searching for the killer of her sister, but with Mulder’s father and now mother placed in jeopardy, you would have to start to question whether the truth was worth discovering if it meant a massacre of your loved ones. The fact that Mulder as good as chooses his objective over his family in this episode leads me to believe that [Chris] Carter and Duchovny have lost sight of how a reasonable person would react. It seems in order to turn Mulder into [[TheChosenOne a mythological figure]] he has to jettison his personal life completely.

->Every time I see ''[=‘=]story by Creator/DavidDuchovny and...[=’=]'' on the credits I wince because that has rarely gone down well ('Colony'/'End Game', 'Avatar') and usually involves Mulder hogging the limelight [[OutOfFocus at the expense of his partner]]... Spare me the soap opera suggestion that [[EveryoneIsRelated the Smoking Man is Mulder’s father]]. The sequence where he visits Teena Mulder to reminisce over old times fails to work for two reasons – the dialogue is overblown, strays too far into daytime telvision, and the inclusion of Rebecca Toolan who remains the show's most robotic and unconvincing actress. For an actor of William B. Davis’ calibre its like [[ClassicallyTrainedExtra hitting your head against a brick wall]]. I’m also getting a little bored of the way that our heroes' family members are exploited in these mythology episodes – how many more are they prepared to lose on this quest of theirs? I could understand Scully wanting to continue searching for the killer of her sister, but with Mulder’s father and now mother placed in jeopardy, you would have to start to question whether the truth was worth discovering if it meant a massacre of your loved ones. The fact that Mulder as good as chooses his objective over his family in this episode leads me to believe that [Chris] Carter and Duchovny have lost sight of how a reasonable person would react. It seems in order to turn Mulder into [[TheChosenOne a mythological figure]] he has to jettison his personal life completely.
-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.com/2012/08/the-x-files-season-three.html Doc Oho]]''' on ''Series/TheXFiles'', "Talitha Cumi"

->''"Any time an active wrestler is involved in that process of management or creative it is a recipe for disaster, because you can throw objectivity right out the window."''

->''"Let’s face it: it has almost always been good to be Wrestling/EricBischoff. Before he was getting paid big bucks to spend bottomless pits of someone else’s money in Wrestling/{{TNA}}, he was… well, doing exactly that in Wrestling/{{WCW}}. The difference was that starting in 1996, the spending spree was really paying off, with the Wrestling/NewWorldOrder angle being perhaps the hottest in wrestling history. In fact, the faction had grown so dominant that they were regularly (and intentionally) making the rest of the company look weak... All power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely, and absolute power in the hands of Eric Bischoff meant non-stop {{squash match}}es and [[ThePornomancer rogering homely chicks]]."''

->''"When you picture the kind of filmmaker who would write, direct and produce a movie just to cast himself in the lead role of martial arts master rock star, you're picturing David Heavener (''Lethal Ninja'', ''Kill Crazy''). Undiscovered actresses take one look at him and know his first question is going to be unzipping his pants. If evil scientists collected all the sperm from Hollywood [[CastingCouch casting room couches]] and jammed it into Tori Spelling, David Heavener is the beast that would hatch from her chestplate... Heavener is a living TimAndEric sketch, and his fight scenes are [[WhatTheFuAreYouDoing violent mockeries of violence]]. It's often hard to tell if Heavener is trying to punch someone in the face or [[VisibleBoomMic knock the boom mic above their heads out of frame.]]"''

->''"We rejoin Eddie in the strip club, as he chugs a beer to the sound of the music, playing and swaying! It’s actually pretty impressive on [[Creator/NicolasCage (Nic) Cage’s]] part... The girl dancing on stage comes up, jiggling her bare breasts in Eddie’s face. It’s good to be the director’s brother, isn’t it?"''

->''"[[Creator/LeonardNimoy Nimoy]] enjoyed great success as the director of ''Film/StarTrekIIITheSearchForSpock'' and ''Film/StarTrekIVTheVoyageHome'' ([[TheOneWith the 'whale' one]], most successful of the ''Franchise/StarTrek'' movies). This allowed him the opportunity to helm the blockbuster ''{{Three Men and a Baby}}'', which for years remained the most successful Hollywood comedy ever. [[Creator/WilliamShatner Shatner]] decided that it was his turn to direct a movie, and refused to sign up for the fifth ''Star Trek'' film unless he was allowed to direct. So it came to be, with Shatner co-writing the film as well...the movie’s biggest problem is that the entire film is noticeably tilted towards his own character, James Kirk. Nimoy, on the other hand, took obvious pains in the films he directed to keep Spock merely part of the ensemble (admittedly, one of the more important parts). Yet, there’s no denying that this film was designed as a valentine to James T., and that the other characters, Spock and [=McCoy=] included, are merely around [[GreekChorus to back him up and admire him]]. In the end, Shatner remained mysteriously unhumbled by his [[BoxOfficeBomb disastrous directorial debut]]. For years to come, he continued to [[IRejectYourReality live in a fantasy world]] wherein he would be allowed to direct another ''Star Trek'' movie. This was a regular refrain during interviews with him, and never failed to send a chill up the spine of Trekkies everywhere."''

->''"Of course as soon as [[WarrenBeatty (Warren) Beatty]] came on the problems started to mount...The moment he was attached to the project, he asked for [[WagTheDirector the script to be rewritten]]. Actors and crew sat for hours on end while the pages for that day would be written...The most embarrassing part is that Beatty is still living out his {{glory days}} in this movie. This movie really isn’t a self deprecating look at an aging lothario. No, this is Warren Beatty, pretending to be Warren Beatty in his 30’s. You simply don’t buy the frumpy looking Beatty in his 60’s still being able to [[KavorkaMan f*ck endless waves of models in their 20’s.]]"''

->''"After a decade or so of kicking the world's eyeballs in the nuts, anybody is bound to develop an ego. Creator/ChuckNorris decided that wasn't enough, and outdid everybody by cultivating arrogance so magnificent it wears a tiny cape and crown of its own. In his later movies, the fight scenes don't even bother building suspense by letting the bad guys touch Chuck. He holds a foot out, the camera settles itself behind it, and you sit back and watch as a disembodied boot [[BoringInvincibleHero mows down wave after wave of anonymous terrorist.]] Some actors phone it in when they're not into a movie; Chuck Norris didn't even send a fax. Eventually he decided he may as well write the parts himself, and proceeded to create ''Series/WalkerTexasRanger''. A show he at various points wrote, produced, directed, starred in and even sang the theme song for. It depicts him as everything from a cop to [[AnswersToTheNameOfGod the messiah.]] Chuck Norris focused his steely glare entirely on ''Walker, Texas Ranger'' to the exclusion of all other projects. The show rapidly devolved into a masturbatory tribute to Chuck Norris by Chuck Norris, spouting scene after scene of hero worship so out of touch with reality it became the most [[{{Narm}} unintentionally hilarious]] show on television."''

->''"Every time I see ''[=‘=]story by Creator/DavidDuchovny and...[=’=]'' on the credits I wince because that has rarely gone down well ('Colony'/'End Game', 'Avatar') and usually involves Mulder hogging the limelight [[OutOfFocus at the expense of his partner]]... Spare me the soap opera suggestion that [[EveryoneIsRelated the Smoking Man is Mulder’s father]]. The sequence where he visits Teena Mulder to reminisce over old times fails to work for two reasons – the dialogue is overblown, strays too far into daytime telvision, and the inclusion of Rebecca Toolan who remains the show's most robotic and unconvincing actress. For an actor of William B. Davis’ calibre its like [[ClassicallyTrainedExtra hitting your head against a brick wall]]. I’m also getting a little bored of the way that our heroes' family members are exploited in these mythology episodes – how many more are they prepared to lose on this quest of theirs? I could understand Scully wanting to continue searching for the killer of her sister, but with Mulder’s father and now mother placed in jeopardy, you would have to start to question whether the truth was worth discovering if it meant a massacre of your loved ones. The fact that Mulder as good as chooses his objective over his family in this episode leads me to believe that ''[Chris]'' Carter and Duchovny have lost sight of how a reasonable person would react. It seems in order to turn Mulder into [[TheChosenOne a mythological figure]] he has to jettison his personal life completely."''

->''"So, Phoebe's like super-famous now, with her advice column ''Ask Phoebe.'' Apparently this is a big deal to people, because [[InformedAbility she writes the best advice in the world and she's perfect human being]]. How does she handle being so pretty and talented, intuitive and clever, and somebody kill me now. Someone, tell me: in ''what'' world you get interviews, billboards, assistants, potential national syndication ''and'' a radio show, all for shitting out stock love advice like, 'Follow your heart'?...How is she qualified in any way to give people dating tips? Since when has she made ''any'' good dating decisions? Her guys have always been terrible, even in the show's canon. They had this thing where [[AllGirlsWantBadBoys she always dated bad boys]] or made stupid decisions--back in the days when she was a character, and not an ego-stroking cutout Alyssa Milano could live vicariously through."''

-->-- '''Chris Sims''' and '''David Uzumeri''', [[http://comicsalliance.com/recap-smallivlle-episode-10-17-kent/ on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Kent")