History Quotes / TooDumbToLive

16th Sep '17 4:48:48 PM TheAmazingBlachman
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->It's so absurdly simple! I can control this storm! All I have to do is--
-->-- '''[[MadScientist Mutran]], just before getting fried''', ''Toys/{{BIONICLE}}''

to:

->It's ->''It's so absurdly simple! I can control this storm! All I have to do is--
is--''
-->-- '''[[MadScientist Mutran]], Mutran]]''', just before getting fried''', fried, ''Toys/{{BIONICLE}}''



[''Beat, as the Rat Creatures [[TemptingFate do exactly that]]'']\\

to:

[''Beat, ''[beat, as the Rat Creatures [[TemptingFate do exactly that]]'']\\that]]]''\\



->I don't want another murder in this case, and you were born to be murdered.

to:

->I ->''I don't want another murder in this case, and you were born to be murdered.''



->The Defense Department regrets to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid.
-->--'''Goose''', ''Film/TopGun''

->''"You just went and made a new dinosaur? [[LampshadeHanging Probably not a good idea]]."''
-->'''Owen''', ''Film/JurassicWorld''

to:

->The ->''The Defense Department regrets to inform you that your sons are dead because they were stupid.
-->--'''Goose''',
stupid.''
-->-- '''Goose''',
''Film/TopGun''

->''"You ->''You just went and made a new dinosaur? [[LampshadeHanging Probably not a good idea]]."''
-->'''Owen''',
''
-->-- '''Owen''',
''Film/JurassicWorld''



->Stupidity is the only natural capital crime.

to:

->Stupidity ->''Stupidity is the only natural capital crime.''



->Thoth sprang up, blood mounting darkly to his face, while his eyes flamed with the stunned fury of a man who suddenly realizes the full depths of a fool's swinish stupidity.

to:

->Thoth ->''Thoth sprang up, blood mounting darkly to his face, while his eyes flamed with the stunned fury of a man who suddenly realizes the full depths of a fool's swinish stupidity.''



->Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos was lightning, he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards'.

to:

->Let's ->''Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos was lightning, he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All "All gods are bastards'.bastards".''



->Murder was in fact a fairly uncommon event in [[Literature/{{Discworld}} Ankh]]-[[WretchedHive Morpork]], but there were a lot of suicides. Walking in the night-time alleyways of [[WretchedHive the Shades]] was suicide. Asking for a short beer in a [[OurDwarvesAreAllTheSame dwarf]] bar was suicide. Saying '[[SiliconBasedLife Got rocks in your head]]?' to a [[AllTrollsAreDifferent troll]] was suicide. You could commit suicide very easily, if you weren't careful.

to:

->Murder ->''Murder was in fact a fairly uncommon event in [[Literature/{{Discworld}} Ankh]]-[[WretchedHive Morpork]], but there were a lot of suicides. Walking in the night-time alleyways of [[WretchedHive the Shades]] was suicide. Asking for a short beer in a [[OurDwarvesAreAllTheSame dwarf]] bar was suicide. Saying '[[SiliconBasedLife Got rocks in your head]]?' to a [[AllTrollsAreDifferent troll]] was suicide. You could commit suicide very easily, if you weren't careful.''



->Pages one and two had been salvaged by a Damogran Frond Crested Eagle and had already become incorporated into an extraordinary new form of nest which the eagle had invented. It was constructed largely of papier-mache and it was virtually impossible for a newly hatched baby eagle to break out of it. The Damogran Frond Crested Eagle had heard of the notion of survival of the species but wanted no truck with it.

to:

->Pages ->''Pages one and two had been salvaged by a Damogran Frond Crested Eagle and had already become incorporated into an extraordinary new form of nest which the eagle had invented. It was constructed largely of papier-mache and it was virtually impossible for a newly hatched baby eagle to break out of it. The Damogran Frond Crested Eagle had heard of the notion of survival of the species but wanted no truck with it.''



->I've never seen someone so prone to life-threatening idiocy!

to:

->I've ->''I've never seen someone so prone to life-threatening idiocy!idiocy!''



->Hey, the cop never said anything about doing intensely stupid things!

to:

->Hey, ->''Hey, the cop never said anything about doing intensely stupid things!things!''



->Please do not use this electrical appliance while you're in the bath. Actually, you know what? Go on. If you're that dumb, I think we can afford to lose ya!

to:

->Please ->''Please do not use this electrical appliance while you're in the bath. Actually, you know what? Go on. If you're that dumb, I think we can afford to lose ya!ya!''



->I clean my knives in a crossbow. Some people say it's foolish... I put them in the hoover and set it on blow and just shoot water at them around the kitchen, as I sit with a plug -- bare-wired... at my feet... '''PEEING ON IT!''' All to get a better clean.

to:

->I ->''I clean my knives in a crossbow. Some people say it's foolish... I put them in the hoover and set it on blow and just shoot water at them around the kitchen, as I sit with a plug -- bare-wired... at my feet... '''PEEING ON IT!''' All to get a better clean.''



->I think I might've [[JugglingLoadedGuns shot myself]] a bit.
-->--'''Sgt. Penhale''', ''Series/DocMartin''

->I am too stupid to LIVE!

to:

->I ->''I think I might've [[JugglingLoadedGuns shot myself]] a bit.
-->--'''Sgt.
bit.''
-->-- '''Sgt.
Penhale''', ''Series/DocMartin''

->I ->''I am too stupid to LIVE!LIVE!''



->I suppose from a creative standpoint, some characters deserve to die. Ones that lack common sense or even basic survival instinct.

to:

->I ->''I suppose from a creative standpoint, some characters deserve to die. Ones that lack common sense or even basic survival instinct.''



->For young man, read young idiot. Look, anyone stupid enough to let some mustachio'd dago say, "Excuse me, meester" and then hit them over the head, deserves everything coming to them.

to:

->For ->''For young man, read young idiot. Look, anyone stupid enough to let some mustachio'd dago say, "Excuse me, meester" and then hit them over the head, deserves everything coming to them.''



->Poor Ned Stark. Brave man, ''[[HonorBeforeReason terrible]]'' judgement.

to:

->Poor ->''Poor Ned Stark. Brave man, ''[[HonorBeforeReason terrible]]'' judgement.''



->But... they have the preservation instinct of ''a herd of lemmings!''

to:

->But... ->''But... they have the preservation instinct of ''a of'' a herd of lemmings!''lemmings!



->The fire was stupid. Putting Vila on guard duty was suicidal. What's the matter? Staying alive become too complicated for you?

to:

->The ->''The fire was stupid. Putting Vila on guard duty was suicidal. What's the matter? Staying alive become too complicated for you?you?''



-->--'''[[WebVideo/RedLetterMedia Mr. Plinkett]]''' riffs ''Film/ThePhantomMenace''

to:

-->--'''[[WebVideo/RedLetterMedia -->-- '''[[WebVideo/RedLetterMedia Mr. Plinkett]]''' riffs ''Film/ThePhantomMenace''



-->--The '''narrator''' of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zt50lz-NVQ a 70s electricity safety PIF featuring an idiot]] [[DoomItYourself using three matches as a makeshift plug for a drill]].

to:

-->--The -->-- The '''narrator''' of [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8zt50lz-NVQ a 70s electricity safety PIF featuring an idiot]] [[DoomItYourself using three matches as a makeshift plug for a drill]].



-->-- Pablo Francisco, [[http://comedians.jokes.com/pablo-francisco/videos/pablo-francisco---previews-voice this video]]

to:

-->-- Pablo Francisco, '''Pablo Francisco''', [[http://comedians.jokes.com/pablo-francisco/videos/pablo-francisco---previews-voice this video]]



-->--'''Iori Yagami'''' victory quote, ''[[VideoGame/TheKingOfFighters The King Of Fighters '96]]''

to:

-->--'''Iori -->-- '''Iori Yagami'''' victory quote, ''[[VideoGame/TheKingOfFighters The King Of Fighters '96]]''



-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/05/31/lesson-of-the-day-dont-grab-a-flying-drone/ Michael K.]]''', "Lesson Of The Day: Donít Grab A Flying Drone"

to:

-->--'''[[http://dlisted.-->-- '''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/05/31/lesson-of-the-day-dont-grab-a-flying-drone/ Michael K.]]''', "Lesson Of The Day: Donít Grab A Flying Drone"



-->--'''[[http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/tcu-got-screwed-and-thats-the-point-1668812802 Drew Magary]]'''

to:

-->--'''[[http://theconcourse.-->-- '''[[http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/tcu-got-screwed-and-thats-the-point-1668812802 Drew Magary]]'''



-->--''[[http://americanloons.blogspot.com/2013/07/641-mason-howe-dwinell.html Encyclopedia of American Loons]]'' on Mason Howe Dwinell

to:

-->--''[[http://americanloons.-->-- ''[[http://americanloons.blogspot.com/2013/07/641-mason-howe-dwinell.html Encyclopedia of American Loons]]'' on Mason Howe Dwinell



-->--{{Creator/Seanbaby}}, [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-great-occupations-for-horribly-stupid-people/ "7 Great Occupations For Horribly Stupid People"]]

to:

-->--{{Creator/Seanbaby}}, -->-- '''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/7-great-occupations-for-horribly-stupid-people/ "7 Great Occupations For Horribly Stupid People"]]



->'''Lelouch''': I need your help, can you come here?
->'''Suzaku''': Well, I can't. I'm buying clothes.
->'''Lelouch''': Alright, well hurry up and come over here.
->'''Suzaku''': I can't find them.
->'''Lelouch''': What do you mean, you can't find them?
->'''Suzaku''': I can't find them, there's only soup.
->'''Lelouch''': What do you mean there's ONLY soup?
->'''Suzaku''': It means there's ONLY SOUP!
->'''Lelouch''': WELL THEN, GET OUT OF THE SOUP AISLE!!!
->'''Suzaku''': ALRIGHT, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT AT ME! * Suzaku walks into the next aisle * There's more soup.
->'''Lelouch''': WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S MORE SOUP?!?!
->'''Suzaku''': IT'S JUST MORE SOUP!!
->'''Lelouch''': GO INTO THE NEXT AISLE!!
->'''Suzaku''': * Suzaku goes into the next aisle * THERE'S STILL SOUP!
->'''Lelouch''': WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?!?!?
->'''Suzaku''': I'M AT SOUP!
->'''Lelouch''': WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE "AT SOUP"?!?!?!
->'''Suzaku''': I MEAN, I'M AT SOUP!!!
->'''Lelouch''': WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN?!?!?
->'''Suzaku''': I'M AT THE SOUP STORE!!!
->'''Lelouch''': '''WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!?!?!?'''
->'''Suzaku''': FUCK YOU!!!!!

to:

->'''Lelouch''': ->'''Lelouch:''' I need your help, can you come here?
->'''Suzaku''':
here?\\
'''Suzaku:'''
Well, I can't. I'm buying clothes.
->'''Lelouch''':
clothes.\\
'''Lelouch:'''
Alright, well hurry up and come over here.
->'''Suzaku''':
here.\\
'''Suzaku:'''
I can't find them.
->'''Lelouch''':
them.\\
'''Lelouch:'''
What do you mean, you can't find them?
->'''Suzaku''':
them?\\
'''Suzaku:'''
I can't find them, there's only soup.
->'''Lelouch''':
soup.\\
'''Lelouch:'''
What do you mean there's ONLY soup?
->'''Suzaku''':
"ONLY soup"?\\
'''Suzaku:'''
It means there's ONLY SOUP!
->'''Lelouch''':
SOUP!\\
'''Lelouch:'''
WELL THEN, GET OUT OF THE SOUP AISLE!!!
->'''Suzaku''':
AISLE!!!\\
'''Suzaku:'''
ALRIGHT, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SHOUT AT ME! * Suzaku ''(Suzaku walks into the next aisle * aisle)'' There's more soup.
->'''Lelouch''':
soup.\\
'''Lelouch:'''
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERE'S MORE SOUP?!?!
->'''Suzaku''':
"MORE SOUP"?!?!\\
'''Suzaku:'''
IT'S JUST MORE SOUP!!
->'''Lelouch''':
SOUP!!\\
'''Lelouch:'''
GO INTO THE NEXT AISLE!!
->'''Suzaku''': * Suzaku
AISLE!!\\
'''Suzaku:''' ''(Suzaku
goes into the next aisle * aisle)'' THERE'S STILL SOUP!
->'''Lelouch''':
SOUP!\\
'''Lelouch:'''
WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?!?!?
->'''Suzaku''':
NOW?!?!?\\
'''Suzaku:'''
I'M AT SOUP!
->'''Lelouch''':
SOUP!\\
'''Lelouch:'''
WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE "AT SOUP"?!?!?!
->'''Suzaku''':
SOUP"?!?!?!\\
'''Suzaku:'''
I MEAN, I'M AT SOUP!!!
->'''Lelouch''':
SOUP!!!\\
'''Lelouch:'''
WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN?!?!?
->'''Suzaku''':
IN?!?!?\\
'''Suzaku:'''
I'M AT THE SOUP STORE!!!
->'''Lelouch''':
''SOUP'' STORE!!!\\
'''Lelouch:'''
'''WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!?!?!?'''
->'''Suzaku''': '''Suzaku:''' FUCK YOU!!!!!



-> Food $200 \\

to:

-> Food ->Food $200 \\



--> --'''[[https://twitter.com/dril/status/384408932061417472 @dril]]'''

to:

--> --'''[[https://twitter.-->-- '''[[https://twitter.com/dril/status/384408932061417472 @dril]]'''



-->--'''Creator/HLMencken''', 1949

to:

-->--'''Creator/HLMencken''', -->-- '''Creator/HLMencken''', 1949
3rd Sep '17 6:19:11 AM Theokal3
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-->--''WebVideo/{{Phelous}}''' aftering hearing Dr Isaac's motivation in ''Film/ResidentEvilTheFinalChapter''

to:

-->--''WebVideo/{{Phelous}}''' -->--'''WebVideo/{{Phelous}}''' aftering hearing Dr Isaac's motivation in ''Film/ResidentEvilTheFinalChapter''
3rd Sep '17 6:18:46 AM Theokal3
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Added DiffLines:

-> A ''ZombieApocalypse''?! You think ''that'''s the way to leave the world's infrastructure and resources intact?! [[BigBad Isaac]]! You should [[BackFromTheDead have stayed dead]]! You were [[LampshadeHanging too dumb to live]]!
-->--''WebVideo/{{Phelous}}''' aftering hearing Dr Isaac's motivation in ''Film/ResidentEvilTheFinalChapter''
25th Jul '17 2:49:01 AM JackG
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Added DiffLines:

->The fire was stupid. Putting Vila on guard duty was suicidal. What's the matter? Staying alive become too complicated for you?
-->-- '''Avon''', ''Series/BlakesSeven''
5th Jul '17 12:14:19 AM LucaEarlgrey
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Added DiffLines:

-> Food $200 \\
Data $150 \\
Rent $800 \\
Candles $3,600 \\
Utility $150 \\
someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this. my family is dying
--> --'''[[https://twitter.com/dril/status/384408932061417472 @dril]]'''
24th Apr '17 11:08:31 AM Siempie
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Added DiffLines:

->[[AC: Remember how I said he was specifically built to make bad decisions? Because I think he's decided not to maintain ''any'' of the crucial functions that keep this facility from exploding!]]
-->-- '''[=GLaDOS=]''', about [[spoiler: Wheatley]], ''Videogame/Portal2''
15th Apr '17 4:51:37 PM bificommander
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Added DiffLines:


->I tried, you know. Lord knows I tried. But there's just no helping you people. It's like you crave death. But not just any death, nooooooo! You fuckers seem to have some kind of pool going to see who can end their existence in the dumbest, most avoidable way possible. And you just keep one-upping each other! Do you know how many of you have died screaming LeeroyJenkins? More than zero! Which, as far as I'm concerned, is grounds for exterminating the species!
-->-- '''Kayaba''', ''WebVideo/SwordArtOnlineAbridged''
26th Jan '17 4:25:00 PM Jeduthun
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Added DiffLines:


->Set fire to your hair, \\
Poke a stick at a grizzly bear, \\
Eat medicine that's out of date, \\
Use your private parts as piranha bait,\\
\\
Dumb ways to die!\\
So many dumb ways to die, \\
Dumb ways to di-i-ie, \\
So many dumb ways to die!
-->-- '''WebAnimation/DumbWaysToDie'''
17th Dec '16 1:29:33 PM Theokal3
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Added DiffLines:

->"YOU ARE THINKING ABOUT HAVING SEX ''[[SkewedPriorities NOW]]''?!! Okay, you know what? You all need to die! Not because of [[KickTheDog what you did to Marty]], mind you, but because the law of natural selection ''demands it''!"
-->--'''[[WebVideo/BrandonsCultMovieReviews Brandon]]''' regarding the characters in ''Film/SlaughterHigh''.
16th Dec '16 11:48:05 AM Snipertoaster
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-->-- ''Franklin Clinton'' after witnessing [[spoiler: Dom skydive from a dam with no parachute]] in ''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoV''

to:

-->-- ''Franklin Clinton'' '''Franklin Clinton''' after witnessing [[spoiler: Dom skydive from a dam with no parachute]] in ''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoV''
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Quotes.TooDumbToLive