History Quotes / TheComputerisaCheatingBastard

28th May '16 8:41:41 PM nombretomado
Is there an issue? Send a Message


-->--'''David Wong''', ''JohnDiesAtTheEnd''

to:

-->--'''David Wong''', ''JohnDiesAtTheEnd''
''Literature/JohnDiesAtTheEnd''



-->--'''[[http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/kusoge/kusoge-teraskasi.htm Bobinator]]''' on ''Franchise/{{Star Wars}}: Masters of Teräs Käsi'' -- PlayStation (1997)

to:

-->--'''[[http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/kusoge/kusoge-teraskasi.htm Bobinator]]''' on ''Franchise/{{Star Wars}}: Masters of Teräs Käsi'' -- PlayStation UsefulNotes/PlayStation (1997)
23rd May '16 7:17:05 PM BobTanaka
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

->"It's cheating! The computer is cheating!"
-->--'''WebVideo/RosssGameDungeon'''
27th Dec '15 6:52:17 AM hamonrye
Is there an issue? Send a Message


->What I ''really'' hate are the F.B.I. Agents and the Scientists...Tryin' to outrun these guys without steppin' in the holes is a pain in the ass.\\\
* grunt* ''C'mon. C'mon, c'mon you motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker'' '''''RRRRGH''''' (falls)\\\
And how come ''they'' can pass over a hole and ''you'' can't? Yeah, yeah, go ahead! Pass over the hole again, yeah. ''Fuck'' you. [[YourMom I'm gonna pass over your mom's hole.]]

to:

->What I ''really'' hate are the F.B.I. Agents and the Scientists...Tryin' ->Tryin' to outrun these guys without steppin' in the holes is a pain in the ass.\\\
* grunt* ''C'mon. C'mon, c'mon you motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker'' '''''RRRRGH''''' (falls)\\\
ass...And how come ''they'' can pass over a hole and ''you'' can't? Yeah, yeah, go ahead! Pass over the hole again, yeah. ''Fuck'' you. [[YourMom I'm gonna pass over your mom's hole.]]



->Wven when you're spinning through he outer abysses of outer space, you still feel like an underdog despite being part of the big, bad Empire, and that's because the titular TIE fighter [[WhatAPieceOfJunk is a flimsy craft]]. One wrong decision, one stupid mistake, and a single collision or strafe shot can end a mission that has been building up for 10 minutes or more. You play by a [[OneHitPointWonder one-hit KO rule]], but you're enemies sure '''don't!'''
-->--'''[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n4-EnCc-JKk George Weidman]]''' on ''[[VideoGame/TIEFighter Star Wars: TIE Fighter]]''



'''Noah:''' The fuck--? He used a ''teleporter?'' That cheating son of a bitch! I swear to God, if I ever play ''[[VideoGame/UltimaVIITheBlackGate Ultima VII]]'' again I'm gonna track him down so I can go to the Forge of Virtue, take [[UnholyNuke the dark core of Exodus]] and send it to the void '''''[[AssShove straight up this cocksucker's cheating ass!]]''''' Who builds a teleporter to cheat at something this fucking petty?

to:

'''Noah:''' The fuck--? He used a ''teleporter?'' That teleporter? ''That cheating son of a bitch! bitch!'' I swear to God, if I ever play ''[[VideoGame/UltimaVIITheBlackGate Ultima VII]]'' again I'm gonna track him down so I can go to the Forge of Virtue, take [[UnholyNuke the dark core of Exodus]] and send it to the void '''''[[AssShove straight up this cocksucker's cheating ass!]]''''' Who builds a teleporter to cheat at something this fucking petty?petty?!
12th May '15 3:15:16 PM johnnyfog
Is there an issue? Send a Message


->You know how in most {{FPS}}s you're some [[SpaceMarine sort of hybrid of man and refrigerator]] who can take an entire munitions dump to the face, while the enemies all have armor made of whip cream and skulls made of cake?\\\
Well, it seems going into this game everyone got their character sheets mixed up: The player can't survive more than a measly handfuls of bullet ripping though their flesh, while the armored enemies can take so many rounds to the torso you'd think there'd be nothing left but a spinal column and the Corn Flakes they had for breakfast. They can spot you in pitch darkness even with your flashlight off, and they can shoot you from halfway to Neverland because their guns have magic accuracy that evaporates the instant ''you'' get your hands on them.

to:

->You know how in most {{FPS}}s you're some [[SpaceMarine sort of hybrid of man and refrigerator]] who can take an entire munitions dump to the face, while the enemies all have armor made of whip cream and skulls made of cake?\\\
Well, it seems going into this game everyone got their character sheets mixed up: The
->The player can't survive more than a measly handfuls of bullet ripping though their flesh, while the armored enemies can take so many rounds to the torso you'd think there'd be nothing left but a spinal column and the Corn Flakes they had for breakfast. They can spot you in pitch darkness even with your flashlight off, and they can shoot you from halfway to Neverland because their guns have magic accuracy that evaporates the instant ''you'' get your hands on them.


Added DiffLines:

->''"Luke, for example, has a move where he throws his lightsaber at you. Not only does this move do about 75% of your life on hit, itís also entirely unblockable. The AI can and will use this move against you if it has the meter to do so, and it doesnít have to worry about trying to get in the half circle motion required to do it."''
-->--'''[[http://www.hardcoregaming101.net/kusoge/kusoge-teraskasi.htm Bobinator]]''' on ''Franchise/{{Star Wars}}: Masters of Teräs Käsi'' -- PlayStation (1997)
18th Mar '15 8:02:41 AM RevDave
Is there an issue? Send a Message


-->--'''David Wong''', ''JohnDiesAtTheEnd'''

to:

-->--'''David Wong''', ''JohnDiesAtTheEnd'''
''JohnDiesAtTheEnd''
27th Feb '15 5:33:37 PM johnnyfog
Is there an issue? Send a Message


* grunt* ''C'mon. C'mon, c'mon you motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker'' '''''RRRRGH''''' (falls)\\\

to:

* grunt* *grunt* ''C'mon. C'mon, c'mon you motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker'' '''''RRRRGH''''' (falls)\\\
27th Feb '15 5:33:22 PM johnnyfog
Is there an issue? Send a Message


->What I ''really'' hate are the F.B.I. Agents and the Scientists...Tryin' to outrun these guys without steppin' in the holes is a pain in the ass. *grunt* ''C'mon. C'mon, c'mon you motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker'' '''''RRRRGH''''' (falls) And how come ''they'' can pass over a hole and ''you'' can't? Yeah, yeah, go ahead! Pass over the hole again, yeah. ''Fuck'' you. [[YourMom I'm gonna pass over your mom's hole.]]

to:

->What I ''really'' hate are the F.B.I. Agents and the Scientists...Tryin' to outrun these guys without steppin' in the holes is a pain in the ass. \\\
*grunt* ''C'mon. C'mon, c'mon you motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker'' '''''RRRRGH''''' (falls) (falls)\\\
And how come ''they'' can pass over a hole and ''you'' can't? Yeah, yeah, go ahead! Pass over the hole again, yeah. ''Fuck'' you. [[YourMom I'm gonna pass over your mom's hole.]]
27th Feb '15 5:33:02 PM johnnyfog
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

[[folder:Web Original]]
27th Feb '15 5:32:44 PM johnnyfog
Is there an issue? Send a Message


[[folder:fictional]]

to:

[[folder:fictional]]
[[folder:Film -- Live-Action]]



->'''Bob''': Matrix! Help!\\
'''Matrix''': I can't! The rules are clear!\\
'''Bob''': You're a renegade! CHEAT!\\
'''Matrix''': Oh, right. ''(cheats)''
-->--''WesternAnimation/{{ReBoot}}'', computer characters abusing the trope, again.

->You don't know how the intruders managed to get past your Zoltan Energy Shield!
-->--'''''VideoGame/FTLFasterThanLight'''''

->[[AC:Due to [[HandWave space treachery]], your enemy will always go first!]]
-->--'''''[[{{Creator/Seanbaby}} Calculords]]'''''



[[folder:reviews]]

to:

[[folder:reviews]]
[[folder:Literature]]



->What I ''really'' hate are the F.B.I. Agents and the Scientists...Tryin' to outrun these guys without steppin' in the holes is a pain in the ass. *grunt* ''C'mon. C'mon, c'mon you motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker'' '''''RRRRGH''''' (falls) And how come ''they'' can pass over a hole and ''you'' can't? Yeah, yeah, go ahead! Pass over the hole again, yeah. ''Fuck'' you. [[YourMom I'm gonna pass over your mom's hole.]]
-->--'''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''' on ''VideoGame/ETTheExtraTerrestrial''

->Yeah, you know it's a {{Pokemon}} LetsPlay if you get random criticals when you don't need them, your opponent gets them all the time at the most crucial moments, you don't catch Pokémon when they're in perfectly catchable ranges.
-->--'''{{LetsPlay/Chuggaaconroy}}''', ''LetsPlay [[VideoGame/PokemonGoldAndSilver Pokémon Crystal]] - [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRjNVsWzzoc Part 3]]''

to:

->What I ''really'' hate are the F.B.I. Agents and the Scientists...Tryin' to outrun these guys without steppin' in the holes is a pain in the ass. *grunt* ''C'mon. C'mon, c'mon you motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker'' '''''RRRRGH''''' (falls) And how come ''they'' can pass over a hole and ''you'' can't? Yeah, yeah, go ahead! Pass over the hole again, yeah. ''Fuck'' you. [[YourMom I'm gonna pass over your mom's hole.]]
-->--'''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''' on ''VideoGame/ETTheExtraTerrestrial''

->Yeah, you know it's a {{Pokemon}} LetsPlay if you get random criticals when you
[[/folder]]

[[folder: Video Games]]

->You
don't need them, know how the intruders managed to get past your opponent gets them all the time at the most crucial moments, you don't catch Pokémon when they're in perfectly catchable ranges.
-->--'''{{LetsPlay/Chuggaaconroy}}''', ''LetsPlay [[VideoGame/PokemonGoldAndSilver Pokémon Crystal]] - [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRjNVsWzzoc Part 3]]''
Zoltan Energy Shield!
-->--'''''VideoGame/FTLFasterThanLight'''''

->[[AC:Due to [[HandWave space treachery]], your enemy will always go first!]]
-->--'''''{{VideoGame/Calculords}}'''''

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Animation]]



->'''Gnu Gnu:''' Hi, there! Want to race me to my Food Shop? Last one there's a rotten egg!\\
'''Noah:''' The fuck--? He used a ''teleporter?'' That cheating son of a bitch! I swear to God, if I ever play ''[[VideoGame/UltimaVIITheBlackGate Ultima VII]]'' again I'm gonna track him down so I can go to the Forge of Virtue, take [[UnholyNuke the dark core of Exodus]] and send it to the void '''''[[AssShove straight up this cocksucker's cheating ass!]]''''' Who builds a teleporter to cheat at something this fucking petty?! ''Fuck'' that guy!
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''' on ''Franchise/{{Ultima}}: Runes of Virtue''

to:

->'''Gnu Gnu:''' Hi, there! Want to race me to my Food Shop? Last one there's a rotten egg!\\
'''Noah:''' The fuck--? He used a ''teleporter?'' That cheating son of a bitch! I swear to God, if I ever play ''[[VideoGame/UltimaVIITheBlackGate Ultima VII]]'' again I'm gonna track him down so I can go to the Forge of Virtue, take [[UnholyNuke the dark core of Exodus]] and send it to the void '''''[[AssShove straight up this cocksucker's cheating ass!]]''''' Who builds a teleporter to cheat at something this fucking petty?! ''Fuck'' that guy!
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''' on ''Franchise/{{Ultima}}: Runes of Virtue''
[[/folder]]



->How the hell do you have a Dragonite at Level 49, you hacker?! It evolves at 55! This guy...I swear man, this guy hacks.
-->--'''{{LetsPlay/Haydunn}}''', in the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LlRdOFT6EQ Champion battle]] against Lance in his [[VideoGame/PokemonGoldAndSilver Pokemon Heart Gold]] Nuzlocke


Added DiffLines:


[[folder:Web Video]]

->What I ''really'' hate are the F.B.I. Agents and the Scientists...Tryin' to outrun these guys without steppin' in the holes is a pain in the ass. *grunt* ''C'mon. C'mon, c'mon you motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker motherfucker'' '''''RRRRGH''''' (falls) And how come ''they'' can pass over a hole and ''you'' can't? Yeah, yeah, go ahead! Pass over the hole again, yeah. ''Fuck'' you. [[YourMom I'm gonna pass over your mom's hole.]]
-->--'''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''' on ''VideoGame/ETTheExtraTerrestrial''

->Yeah, you know it's a {{Pokemon}} LetsPlay if you get random criticals when you don't need them, your opponent gets them all the time at the most crucial moments, you don't catch Pokémon when they're in perfectly catchable ranges.
-->--'''{{LetsPlay/Chuggaaconroy}}''', ''LetsPlay [[VideoGame/PokemonGoldAndSilver Pokémon Crystal]] - [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rRjNVsWzzoc Part 3]]''

->'''Gnu Gnu:''' Hi, there! Want to race me to my Food Shop? Last one there's a rotten egg!\\
'''Noah:''' The fuck--? He used a ''teleporter?'' That cheating son of a bitch! I swear to God, if I ever play ''[[VideoGame/UltimaVIITheBlackGate Ultima VII]]'' again I'm gonna track him down so I can go to the Forge of Virtue, take [[UnholyNuke the dark core of Exodus]] and send it to the void '''''[[AssShove straight up this cocksucker's cheating ass!]]''''' Who builds a teleporter to cheat at something this fucking petty?
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''' on ''Franchise/{{Ultima}}: Runes of Virtue''

->How the hell do you have a Dragonite at Level 49, you hacker?! It evolves at 55! This guy...I swear man, this guy hacks.
-->--'''{{LetsPlay/Haydunn}}''', in the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LlRdOFT6EQ Champion battle]] against Lance in his [[VideoGame/PokemonGoldAndSilver Pokemon Heart Gold]] Nuzlocke

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Western Animation]]

->'''Bob''': Matrix! Help!\\
'''Matrix''': I can't! The rules are clear!\\
'''Bob''': You're a renegade! CHEAT!\\
'''Matrix''': Oh, right. ''(cheats)''
-->--''WesternAnimation/{{ReBoot}}'', computer characters abusing the trope, again.

[[/folder]]
27th Feb '15 12:00:15 PM johnnyfog
Is there an issue? Send a Message











->This is a chess puzzle, sort of--but not really--in that the basic objective is to capture your opponent's king, and believe me, that is far easier said than done. And that's for a couple reasons, but the main reason is ''the computer fucking cheats.'' And the reason for that is you have pawns and knights... at the beginning of the game, your knights are completely frozen until all of your pawns have been killed. However, at the beginning of the game, [[MyRulesAreNotYourRules all of the computer's pieces can move freely]], so the only way to activate your knights is to purposely try to get your pawns killed as quickly as possible (and indeed, this is the correct strategy). However, the computer ''seems to know this'' and purposely goes out of its way to not kill your pieces, because it makes a beeline straight for your king. This means the computer has way more options since it starts with five pieces to your ''three''... I musta played this game thirty or forty times before I actually managed to beat it fair, and I ''did'' have a cheat code. But I didn't use it because I-- [[ItsPersonal this game made it personal]] at some point, y'know? I really had to be this game ''fair'', mano-a-mano. It was [[ManVersusMachine like Kasparov and Deep Blue]].
-->--'''''WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment''''', ''Let's Riff {{VideoGame/Ripper}}''

->''"Oh, and to add insult to injury, Seth is generally regarded as one of the [[CharacterTiers least effective player characters]] in the game. That's right: He's only awesome when he's computer-controlled. Because the computer is a cheap, cheating bastard."''

to:

->This is ->'''Gnu Gnu:''' Hi, there! Want to race me to my Food Shop? Last one there's a chess puzzle, sort of--but not really--in that rotten egg!\\
'''Noah:''' The fuck--? He used a ''teleporter?'' That cheating son of a bitch! I swear to God, if I ever play ''[[VideoGame/UltimaVIITheBlackGate Ultima VII]]'' again I'm gonna track him down so I can go to
the basic objective is to capture your opponent's king, Forge of Virtue, take [[UnholyNuke the dark core of Exodus]] and believe me, that is far easier said than done. And that's for a couple reasons, but send it to the main reason is ''the computer fucking cheats.'' And the reason for that is you have pawns and knights... at the beginning of the game, your knights are completely frozen until all of your pawns have been killed. However, at the beginning of the game, [[MyRulesAreNotYourRules all of the computer's pieces can move freely]], so the only way to activate your knights is to purposely try to get your pawns killed as quickly as possible (and indeed, this is the correct strategy). However, the computer ''seems to know this'' and purposely goes out of its way to not kill your pieces, because it makes a beeline void '''''[[AssShove straight for your king. This means the computer has way more options since it starts with five pieces to your ''three''... I musta played up this game thirty or forty times before I actually managed cocksucker's cheating ass!]]''''' Who builds a teleporter to beat it fair, and I ''did'' have a cheat code. But I didn't use it because I-- [[ItsPersonal at something this game made it personal]] at some point, y'know? I really had to be this game ''fair'', mano-a-mano. It was [[ManVersusMachine like Kasparov and Deep Blue]].
-->--'''''WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment''''', ''Let's Riff {{VideoGame/Ripper}}''

->''"Oh,
fucking petty?! ''Fuck'' that guy!
-->--'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]]''' on ''Franchise/{{Ultima}}: Runes of Virtue''

->Oh,
and to add insult to injury, Seth is generally regarded as one of the [[CharacterTiers least effective player characters]] in the game. That's right: He's only awesome when he's computer-controlled. Because the computer is a cheap, cheating bastard."''



->''"How the hell do you have a Dragonite at Level 49, you hacker?! It evolves at 55! This guy...I swear man, this guy hacks."''
-->'''{{LetsPlay/Haydunn}}''', in the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LlRdOFT6EQ Champion battle]] against Lance in his [[VideoGame/PokemonGoldAndSilver Pokemon Heart Gold]] Nuzlocke

->"Don't you know? 'CC' in Mario Kart refers to 'Cheating Capacity'. On 50cc, they have a much lower cheating capacity than on 150cc, where everyone but you is hacking to go max speed all the time."

to:

->''"How ->How the hell do you have a Dragonite at Level 49, you hacker?! It evolves at 55! This guy...I swear man, this guy hacks."''
-->'''{{LetsPlay/Haydunn}}''',
hacks.
-->--'''{{LetsPlay/Haydunn}}''',
in the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LlRdOFT6EQ Champion battle]] against Lance in his [[VideoGame/PokemonGoldAndSilver Pokemon Heart Gold]] Nuzlocke

->"Don't ->Don't you know? 'CC' in Mario Kart refers to 'Cheating Capacity'. On 50cc, they have a much lower cheating capacity than on 150cc, where everyone but you is hacking to go max speed all the time."


Added DiffLines:

This list shows the last 10 events of 60. Show all.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Quotes.TheComputerisaCheatingBastard