History Quotes / FamilyUnfriendlyAesop

21st Mar '16 1:39:33 PM Wildstar93
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->Remember kids, you can talk to your dogs! If for some reason it doesn't work, there's something wrong with you! You should be ashamed of yourself and feel totally awful that you are unable to enjoy your dog! Sorry, we don't know what the fuck's wrong with you. Maybe you're just an idiot.
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''', on ''Pound Puppies And The Legend Of Big Paw''
5th Feb '16 5:18:09 AM hamonrye
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->[eulogizing] Big Jim was a mentor to me. When I was a kid, he caught me stealin' hubcaps off his car; he said, 'Hubcaps? Kid, don't waste your time stealing the hubcaps -- steal the whole car.

to:

->[eulogizing] Big Jim was a mentor to me. When I was a kid, he caught me stealin' hubcaps off his car; he said, 'Hubcaps? Kid, don't waste your time stealing the hubcaps -- steal the whole car.'
17th Nov '15 6:36:05 PM Mr.Movie
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[[folder: Literature]]
->''"... I leave it to be settled by whomsoever it may concern, whether the tendency of this work be altogether to recommend parental tyranny, or reward filial disobedience."''
-->-- '''Creator/JaneAusten''', ''Literature/NorthangerAbbey'' (final line)

[[/folder]]
10th Nov '15 4:52:25 PM hamonrye
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->Peppermint Patty gets quoted for "The world is full of beautiful plants and flowers, but I'm just an ugly weed. I'm a poor ugly weed trying to push her way up through the sidewalk of life!" That is linked to the uplifting message “"Be Real." Ah, [[BeautyEqualsGoodness the negative self image is a virtue!]]

to:

->Peppermint Patty gets quoted for "The world is full of beautiful plants and flowers, but I'm just an ugly weed. I'm a poor ugly weed trying to push her way up through the sidewalk of life!" That is linked to the uplifting message “"Be Real." Ah, [[BeautyEqualsGoodness ->Ah, the negative self image [[BeautyEqualsGoodness is a virtue!]]



->Don’t be too quick to thank a soldier today, America: you could be talking to one of the really shitty ones! This is your Veteran’s Day message from ''ComicStrip/BeetleBailey'', America’s foremost military-themed comic strip.
-->--'''''Blog/TheComicsCurmudgeon''''', [[http://joshreads.com/?p=23579 "Man, ouch for that toupee, amiright"]]



''Monopoly made the child grow up to be a CEO who also thought he was a car.''

to:

''Monopoly ''Ex: Monopoly made the child grow up to be a CEO who also thought he was a car.''



->When Lisa vows she’ll never take a stupid risk ever again, Homer slams the brakes and informs her otherwise, claiming that stupid risks make life worth living, and that’s why he has so many crazy adventures. So yeah, instead of being an average American man who has dramatic and absurd scenarios befall him (which is part of the reason why they’re funny), now he’s Captain Wacky, [[LeeroyJenkins actively doing stupid things on impulse]].
-->--'''[[http://meblogwritegood.wordpress.com/2012/03/31/202-lost-our-lisa/ Mike Amato]]''', WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons



->Don’t be too quick to thank a soldier today, America: you could be talking to one of the really shitty ones! This is your Veteran’s Day message from ''ComicStrip/BeetleBailey'', America’s foremost military-themed comic strip.
-->--'''''Blog/TheComicsCurmudgeon''''', [[http://joshreads.com/?p=23579 "Man, ouch for that toupee, amiright"]]

->If you come across a damsel in distress, [[WoundedGazelleGambit surprise, she's not]]. She wanted you to come close so she could yank you off your horse and ride away laughing... The first time a woman in ''[[VideoGame/RedDeadRedemption Red Dead]]'' did this to me, I shot her off and [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill started putting every bullet I owned into her face.]] Faces don't even have a word for what I did to her. About 20 bullets in, my girlfriend woke up from her nap and asked what the hell I was doing. I explained that I wanted everyone, even the coyotes eating this bitch's remains to [[MakeAnExampleOfThem know the penalty for horse thievin']]. She mumbled something about crazy, but I wasn't listening. Paying attention to women was how I got into this whole corpse-mutilating pickle in the first place.

to:

->Don’t ->''"While it might be reasonable to argue about the morality of developing something like the atom bomb or biological weapons, it seems facile to suggest that [[TheWorldIsNotReady the world’s population is too quick dumb to thank a soldier today, America: you could be talking to one survive]] the introduction of an engine that can run on water...''Like Water for Octane'' turns the Lone Gunmen into knock-off versions of the really shitty ones! This is your Veteran’s Day message from ''ComicStrip/BeetleBailey'', America’s foremost military-themed comic strip.
-->--'''''Blog/TheComicsCurmudgeon''''', [[http://joshreads.com/?p=23579 "Man, ouch for that toupee, amiright"]]

Cigarette-Smoking Man, making many of the same arguments he has used to justify his secrets. In a way, this speaks to a conservatism at the heart of ''The Lone Gunmen.''"''
-->--'''[[http://them0vieblog.com/2015/11/10/the-lone-gunmen-like-water-for-octane-review Darren Mooney]]''' on ''Series/TheLoneGunmen'', "Like Water For Octane"

->If you come across a damsel in distress, [[WoundedGazelleGambit surprise, she's not]].not. She wanted you to come close so she could yank you off your horse and ride away laughing... The first time a woman in ''[[VideoGame/RedDeadRedemption Red Dead]]'' did this to me, I shot her off and [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill started putting every bullet I owned into her face.]] face. Faces don't even have a word for what I did to her. About 20 bullets in, my girlfriend woke up from her nap and asked what the hell I was doing. I explained that I wanted everyone, even the coyotes eating this bitch's remains to [[MakeAnExampleOfThem know the penalty for horse thievin']]. She mumbled something about crazy, but I wasn't listening. Paying attention to women was how I got into this whole corpse-mutilating pickle in the first place.



->Yes people, if you are dying of cancer it’s only because you people don’t [[ClapYourHandsIfYouBelieve BELIEVE]] enough. Oh and doctors like [Woody] Harrelson’s character that want to cure people and heal them; they are [[ScienceIsBad the REAL problem]]. Don’t be fooled, they are the ones really making you sick. Can you really think of anything more grotesque or malicious? Saying the Haitians made a deal with the devil is pretty bad not quite in my opinion. It is moronic but [[http://americanloons.blogspot.com/2012/06/338-pat-robertson.html coming from the source]] you are not surprised. You are surprised when you are [[{{Anvilicious}} torpedoed by the message]] of ''The Sunchaser''.

to:

->Yes people, if you are dying of cancer it’s only because you people don’t [[ClapYourHandsIfYouBelieve BELIEVE]] BELIEVE enough. Oh and doctors like [Woody] Harrelson’s character that want to cure people and heal them; they are [[ScienceIsBad the REAL problem]]. Don’t be fooled, they are the ones really making you sick. Can you really think of anything more grotesque or malicious? Saying the Haitians made a deal with the devil is pretty bad not quite in my opinion. It is moronic but [[http://americanloons.blogspot.com/2012/06/338-pat-robertson.html coming from the source]] you are not surprised. You are surprised when you are [[{{Anvilicious}} torpedoed by the message]] message of ''The Sunchaser''.
7th Nov '15 10:45:02 PM nombretomado
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-->-- '''Church''', ''RedVsBlue''

to:

-->-- '''Church''', ''RedVsBlue''
''Machinima/RedVsBlue''
25th Jul '15 8:40:47 PM johnnyfog
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->Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. ''Don't'' teach a man to fish, and you feed yourself. He's a grown man. Fishing's not that hard.
-->--'''[[Series/ParksAndRecreation Ron Swanson]]'''
31st May '15 2:22:59 AM RobTan
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->Man, revenge is underrated, that felt awesome!
-->-- '''Dipper Pines''', ''WesternAnimation/GravityFalls''
23rd May '15 8:10:44 AM johnnyfog
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->IPoint is, Wolverine learned that [[ViolenceReallyIsTheAnswer it’s okay to stab people to death]], as long as they’re the right people, and I think we can all learn a little something from that.

to:

->IPoint ->Point is, Wolverine learned that [[ViolenceReallyIsTheAnswer it’s okay to stab people to death]], as long as they’re the right people, and I think we can all learn a little something from that.
23rd May '15 8:10:35 AM johnnyfog
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->In our last episode, Wolverine got tired of constantly being on edge and almost murdering teens, so he did what all ultra turbonerds do in times of stress and went to Japan. Shockingly, he almost instantly got caught up in a web of super-powered trouble, stumbling across the Silver Samurai’s attempt to extort a dirt-poor fishing village so that he could get... [[ForTheEvulz Man, I don’t even know.]] Fish, I suppose. Point is, Wolverine learned that [[ViolenceReallyIsTheAnswer it’s okay to stab people to death]], as long as they’re the right people, and I think we can all learn a little something from that.

to:

->In our last episode, Wolverine got tired of constantly being on edge and almost murdering teens, so he did what all ultra turbonerds do in times of stress and went to Japan. Shockingly, he almost instantly got caught up in a web of super-powered trouble, stumbling across the Silver Samurai’s attempt to extort a dirt-poor fishing village so that he could get... [[ForTheEvulz Man, I don’t even know.]] Fish, I suppose. Point ->IPoint is, Wolverine learned that [[ViolenceReallyIsTheAnswer it’s okay to stab people to death]], as long as they’re the right people, and I think we can all learn a little something from that.



->This is a weird example of [[Creator/MarkGatiss (Mark) Gatiss’]] trademark tone-deaf-ness. [[Recap/DoctorWhoNSS1E3TheUnquietDead The Unquiet Dead]] has some unfortunately xenophobic undertones. [[Recap/DoctorWhoNSS2E7TheIdiotsLantern The Idiot’s Lantern]] asks us to feel sorry for an abusive bully because he happens to be a blood relation. Here, we’re asked to accept the Doctor is okay with cold-blooded murder because it’s conducted according to an Ice Warrior’s code of honour.
-->--'''[[http://them0vieblog.com/2013/04/13/doctor-who-cold-war-review/ Darren Mooney]]''' on ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[Recap/DoctorWhoS33E8ColdWar "Cold War"]]

->Lawrence Miles, enfant terrible of the late [[Literature/EighthDoctorAdventures Wilderness Years]], famously and controversially lambasted 'The Unquiet Dead' for its alleged xenophobia. The argument went that the episode went to great lengths to have the Doctor refute Rose's objections to the aliens being allowed to use human cadavers as bodies only to prove Rose right when the aliens really do turn out to be evil. At the time, I largely sided against Miles, suggesting that he was making a reading of the episode that no actual viewer would make, and thus was talking in a vacuum.\\\
Which brings us to [[Recap/TheSarahJaneAdventuresS3E11E12TheGift 'The Gift']]... it turns out that the aliens are in fact irredeemably evil -- so evil, in fact, that Sarah Jane has to kill them -- and we get a final monologue about how there are some good aliens, while offering an overall moral that [[StockAesops suspicion and paranoia are the correct way to treat people who are different than us]] until proven otherwise.
-->-- '''Dr. Phil Sandifer''' [[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2014/03/outside-government-gift.html on]] ''Series/TheSarahJaneAdventures''

->The way Janeway remains unseen for over ten minutes into the episode made me wonder if Chakotay hadn’t murdered her and was just covering for the fact that she was lying dead in her quarters! The truth is even more chilling as we finally get to see her, brooding in private and questioning every decision she has ever made since they entered the Delta Quadrant... I don’t get why she is agonising over a moment of compassion that help to save an entire species. Get over it, love! Apparently she won't make that mistake again, so I hope there aren’t any [[HoldingOutForAHero civilisations in trouble]] out there, because she would be ‘see ya wouldn’t wanna be ya’ Janeway!

to:

->This is a weird example of [[Creator/MarkGatiss (Mark) Gatiss’]] trademark tone-deaf-ness. [[Recap/DoctorWhoNSS1E3TheUnquietDead The Unquiet Dead]] has some unfortunately xenophobic undertones. [[Recap/DoctorWhoNSS2E7TheIdiotsLantern The Idiot’s Lantern]] asks us to feel sorry for an abusive bully because he happens to be a blood relation. Here, we’re asked to accept the Doctor is okay with cold-blooded murder because it’s conducted according to an Ice Warrior’s code of honour.
-->--'''[[http://them0vieblog.com/2013/04/13/doctor-who-cold-war-review/ Darren Mooney]]''' on ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[Recap/DoctorWhoS33E8ColdWar "Cold War"]]

->Lawrence Miles, enfant terrible of the late [[Literature/EighthDoctorAdventures Wilderness Years]], famously and controversially lambasted 'The Unquiet Dead' for its alleged xenophobia. The argument went that the episode went to great lengths to have the Doctor refute Rose's objections to the aliens being allowed to use human cadavers as bodies only to prove Rose right when the aliens really do turn out to be evil. At the time, I largely sided against Miles, suggesting that he was making a reading of the episode that no actual viewer would make, and thus was talking in a vacuum.\\\
Which brings us to [[Recap/TheSarahJaneAdventuresS3E11E12TheGift 'The Gift']]... it turns out that the aliens are in fact irredeemably evil -- so evil, in fact, that Sarah Jane has to kill them -- and we get a final monologue about how there are some good aliens, while offering an overall moral that [[StockAesops suspicion and paranoia are the correct way to treat people who are different than us]] until proven otherwise.
-->-- '''Dr. Phil Sandifer''' [[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2014/03/outside-government-gift.html on]] ''Series/TheSarahJaneAdventures''

->The way Janeway remains unseen for over ten minutes into the episode made me wonder if Chakotay hadn’t murdered her and was just covering for the fact that she was lying dead in her quarters! The truth is even more chilling as we finally get to see her, brooding in private and questioning every decision she has ever made since they entered the Delta Quadrant... I
->I don’t get why she is agonising over a moment of compassion that help to save an entire species. Get over it, love! Apparently she won't make that mistake again, so I hope there aren’t any [[HoldingOutForAHero civilisations in trouble]] out there, because she would be ‘see ya wouldn’t wanna be ya’ Janeway!



->There was no [[LetsGetDangerous kickout]]. There was no [[UnderdogsNeverLose triumphant comeback]]. There was no “dreams do come true” moment of redemption for the lifelong underdog. Instead, the man whom everyone from the champion to the color commentary had said was a loser who would never amount to anything simply proved his critics correct.\\\
The message wasn’t so much that Wrestling/TripleH was great, just that Wrestling/BookerT just wasn’t that good, stumbling at the finish line, as it were, and getting beaten in a scenario that every single wrestler before him had survived.
-->--'''''{{Website/WrestleCrap}}''''', [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/booker-t-vs-triple-h/ "Booker T vs. Triple H – HHH goes KKK"]]



->Now onto the message of the movie. The movie’s message is clear as Anne Bancroft flat out says it. All you need to cure cancer (and all diseases) are [[ClapYourHandsIfYouBelieve faith]]. Yes people, if you are dying of cancer it’s only because you people don’t [[ClapYourHandsIfYouBelieve BELIEVE]] enough. Oh and doctors like [Woody] Harrelson’s character that want to cure people and heal them; they are [[ScienceIsBad the REAL problem]]. Don’t be fooled, they are the ones really making you sick. Can you really think of anything more grotesque or malicious? Saying the Haitians made a deal with the devil is pretty bad not quite in my opinion. It is moronic but [[http://americanloons.blogspot.com/2012/06/338-pat-robertson.html coming from the source]] you are not surprised. You are surprised when you are [[{{Anvilicious}} torpedoed by the message]] of ''The Sunchaser''.

to:

->Now onto the message of the movie. The movie’s message is clear as Anne Bancroft flat out says it. All you need to cure cancer (and all diseases) are [[ClapYourHandsIfYouBelieve faith]]. Yes ->Yes people, if you are dying of cancer it’s only because you people don’t [[ClapYourHandsIfYouBelieve BELIEVE]] enough. Oh and doctors like [Woody] Harrelson’s character that want to cure people and heal them; they are [[ScienceIsBad the REAL problem]]. Don’t be fooled, they are the ones really making you sick. Can you really think of anything more grotesque or malicious? Saying the Haitians made a deal with the devil is pretty bad not quite in my opinion. It is moronic but [[http://americanloons.blogspot.com/2012/06/338-pat-robertson.html coming from the source]] you are not surprised. You are surprised when you are [[{{Anvilicious}} torpedoed by the message]] of ''The Sunchaser''.



->Marriage smooths out all of your relationship's wrinkles, you know? Living with someone and all of their issues would never exacerbate small problems or re-hash old demons. That NEVER happens.
-->--'''''Jezebel''''', [[http://jezebel.com/the-horrible-life-lessons-i-learned-from-think-like-a-m-1594925728 "The Horrible Life Lessons I Learned From Think Like a Man Too"]]



->''Film/AmericanSniper''. More like ''American Humblebragger'', AM I RIGHT? Here was every scene of ''American Sniper'':\\\
'''SOLDIER 1:''' "Bro, was that the 90th baby you shot?"\\
'''CHRIS KYLE:''' "[Super humble] Aw, shucks, I dunno."\\
'''SOLDIER 2:''' "Dude! You just tagged your 100th street vendor! You get free tickets to Lady Antebellum for that!"\\
'''CHRIS KYLE:''' "[Kicks dirt] Just doin' my job, I reckon."\\
'''SOLDIER 3:''' "Are you Sergeant Kyle? Hoo, boy, my platoon was in deep shit until you dropped an anvil on that special-needs child holding a wheelbarrow full of C4!"\\
'''CHRIS KYLE:''' "[Shakes head] I ain't no hero."\\\
Finally, a war movie that says that war is good, and that war has closure so long as you ice the sniper on the other team, and that you can TOTALLY shake off PTSD if you just, like, go out into the woods with a couple of crippled vets and fire some guns. GUNS: IS THERE ANYTHING THEY CAN'T DO?!

to:

->''Film/AmericanSniper''. More like ''American Humblebragger'', AM I RIGHT? Here was every scene of ''American Sniper'':\\\
'''SOLDIER 1:''' "Bro, was that the 90th baby you shot?"\\
'''CHRIS KYLE:''' "[Super humble] Aw, shucks, I dunno."\\
'''SOLDIER 2:''' "Dude! You just tagged your 100th street vendor! You get free tickets to Lady Antebellum for that!"\\
'''CHRIS KYLE:''' "[Kicks dirt] Just doin' my job, I reckon."\\
'''SOLDIER 3:''' "Are you Sergeant Kyle? Hoo, boy, my platoon was in deep shit until you dropped an anvil on that special-needs child holding a wheelbarrow full of C4!"\\
'''CHRIS KYLE:''' "[Shakes head] I ain't no hero."\\\
Finally,
->Finally, a war movie that says that war is good, and that war has closure so long as you ice the sniper on the other team, and that you can TOTALLY shake off PTSD if you just, like, go out into the woods with a couple of crippled vets and fire some guns. GUNS: IS THERE ANYTHING THEY CAN'T DO?!
10th May '15 4:56:47 PM johnnyfog
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->Peppermint Patty gets quoted for "The world is full of beautiful plants and flowers, but I'm just an ugly weed. I'm a poor ugly weed trying to push her way up through the sidewalk of life!" That is linked to the uplifting message “"Be Real." Ah, [[BeautyEqualsGoodness the negative self image is a virtue!]]
-->-- ''[[http://aaugh.com/wordpress/2014/03/maybe-everyone-is-unique-but-me/ The AAUGH Blog]]'' on the ''ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}}'' book ''Be Unique''



->When Lisa vows she’ll never take a stupid risk ever again, Homer slams the brakes and informs her otherwise, claiming that stupid risks make life worth living, and that’s why he has so many crazy adventures. So yeah, instead of being an average American man who has dramatic and absurd scenarios befall him (which is part of the reason why they’re funny), now he’s Captain Wacky, [[LeeroyJenkins actively doing stupid things on impulse]]... even Lisa in-universe seems kind of perturbed by her father’s statements.

to:

->When Lisa vows she’ll never take a stupid risk ever again, Homer slams the brakes and informs her otherwise, claiming that stupid risks make life worth living, and that’s why he has so many crazy adventures. So yeah, instead of being an average American man who has dramatic and absurd scenarios befall him (which is part of the reason why they’re funny), now he’s Captain Wacky, [[LeeroyJenkins actively doing stupid things on impulse]]... even Lisa in-universe seems kind of perturbed by her father’s statements.impulse]].



->Naturally, the Cold War itself is used as a metaphor – the notion of two competing ideologies at war, unable to take into account the simple idea that living creatures are all basically worthy of existence. There’s cultural relativism at play here, and the Doctor is clearly shown to have a great deal of respect for the values of Ice Warrior culture. Which feels [[DependingOnTheWriter just a little out of character]]... the Doctor is nonplussed (and still in a peaceful and understanding mindset) when Skaldak is perfectly willing to brutally murder the innocent population of Earth to protect his 'honour'? This is a weird example of [[Creator/MarkGatiss (Mark) Gatiss’]] trademark tone-deaf-ness. [[Recap/DoctorWhoNSS1E3TheUnquietDead The Unquiet Dead]] has some unfortunately xenophobic undertones. [[Recap/DoctorWhoNSS2E7TheIdiotsLantern The Idiot’s Lantern]] asks us to feel sorry for an abusive bully because he happens to be a blood relation. Here, we’re asked to accept the Doctor is okay with cold-blooded murder because it’s conducted according to an Ice Warrior’s code of honour.

to:

->Naturally, the Cold War itself is used as a metaphor – the notion of two competing ideologies at war, unable to take into account the simple idea that living creatures are all basically worthy of existence. There’s cultural relativism at play here, and the Doctor is clearly shown to have a great deal of respect for the values of Ice Warrior culture. Which feels [[DependingOnTheWriter just a little out of character]]... the Doctor is nonplussed (and still in a peaceful and understanding mindset) when Skaldak is perfectly willing to brutally murder the innocent population of Earth to protect his 'honour'? This ->This is a weird example of [[Creator/MarkGatiss (Mark) Gatiss’]] trademark tone-deaf-ness. [[Recap/DoctorWhoNSS1E3TheUnquietDead The Unquiet Dead]] has some unfortunately xenophobic undertones. [[Recap/DoctorWhoNSS2E7TheIdiotsLantern The Idiot’s Lantern]] asks us to feel sorry for an abusive bully because he happens to be a blood relation. Here, we’re asked to accept the Doctor is okay with cold-blooded murder because it’s conducted according to an Ice Warrior’s code of honour.



->The way Janeway remains unseen for over ten minutes into the episode made me wonder if Chakotay hadn’t murdered her and was just covering for the fact that she was lying dead in her quarters! The truth is even more chilling as we finally get to see her, brooding in private and questioning every decision she has ever made since they entered the Delta Quadrant... I don’t get why she is agonising over a moment of compassion that help to save an entire species. Get over it, love! Apparently she won't make that mistake again, so I hope there aren’t any [[HoldingOutForAHero civilisations in trouble]] out there...because she would be ‘see ya wouldn’t wanna be ya’ Janeway!

to:

->The way Janeway remains unseen for over ten minutes into the episode made me wonder if Chakotay hadn’t murdered her and was just covering for the fact that she was lying dead in her quarters! The truth is even more chilling as we finally get to see her, brooding in private and questioning every decision she has ever made since they entered the Delta Quadrant... I don’t get why she is agonising over a moment of compassion that help to save an entire species. Get over it, love! Apparently she won't make that mistake again, so I hope there aren’t any [[HoldingOutForAHero civilisations in trouble]] out there...there, because she would be ‘see ya wouldn’t wanna be ya’ Janeway!
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