History Quotes / ExcusePlot

16th Nov '15 9:07:30 AM Prinzenick
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->At that time, however, even the distributors were questioning whether gags were enough to sustain a whole film and they started asking for more story. Walt, the greatest of storytellers, reacted in a surprising way. "By the time you have a story really started," he said, "it is time to iris out (end the picture), and you have failed to make the audience laugh." Obviously, in Walt's mind, the first priority in any film was the laughter, and too much story quickly became tedious. He never forgot that point throughout his whole life, constantly shying away from projects that had more continuity than entertainment.
-->--[[Creator/DisneysNineOldMen Frank Thomas and Ollie Johnston]] on Creator/WaltDisney's story methods, "Too Funny for Words: Disney's Greatest Sight Gags" pg. 20
23rd Jun '15 11:27:10 PM infernape612
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->''"The other side is the enemy. You've been hired to shoot their asses off."''
-->-- ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2''
26th Mar '15 5:57:35 PM johnnyfog
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->Jennifer O’Neill is getting the HSOTD badge of honor (''“[[OldShame More like dishonor]]” ''– Jennifer O’Neill, 2015), because she starred in this mess of a show from 1984 called ''Cover Up'. It lasted only one season. I wish I would’ve seen this, because it sounds like [[BileFascination a slow-moving train wreck]]. Jennifer played a fashion photographer who learns that her dead husband was a CIA agent. She really wants to find her husband’s killer and gets a former Special Forces Operator to help her. For some reason, the director of the CIA [[KlingonPromotion gives Jennifer’s character her husband’s old job.]] MESS!

to:

->Jennifer O’Neill is getting the HSOTD badge of honor (''“[[OldShame More like dishonor]]” ''– Jennifer O’Neill, 2015), because she starred in this mess of a show from 1984 called ''Cover Up'.Up''. It lasted only one season. I wish I would’ve seen this, because it sounds like [[BileFascination a slow-moving train wreck]]. Jennifer played a fashion photographer who learns that her dead husband was a CIA agent. She really wants to find her husband’s killer and gets a former Special Forces Operator to help her. For some reason, the director of the CIA [[KlingonPromotion gives Jennifer’s character her husband’s old job.]] MESS!
26th Mar '15 5:56:03 PM johnnyfog
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->Jennifer O’Neill is getting the HSOTD badge of honor (''“[[OldShame More like dishonor]]” ''– Jennifer O’Neill, 2015), because she starred in this mess of a show from 1984 called ''Cover Up'. It lasted only one season. I wish I would’ve seen this, because it sounds like [[BileFascination a slow-moving train wreck]]. Jennifer played a fashion photographer who learns that her dead husband was a CIA agent. She really wants to find her husband’s killer and gets a former Special Forces Operator to help her. For some reason, the director of the CIA [[KlingonPromotion gives Jennifer’s character her husband’s old job.]] MESS!
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/03/26/hot-slut-of-the-day-599/ Michael K.]]''', ''Hot Slut of the Day'' - Jennifer O'Neill
16th Mar '15 2:50:13 AM ChrisX
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-->-- '''[[Franchise/{{Warcraft}} Thrall]], about ''VideoGame/HeroesOfTheStorm''

to:

-->-- '''[[Franchise/{{Warcraft}} Thrall]], Thrall]]''', about ''VideoGame/HeroesOfTheStorm''
16th Mar '15 2:49:54 AM ChrisX
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->''"Wait, what? What do you mean there's lore in this game? You guys actually paid someone to write a story about [[Franchise/{{Starcraft}} Raynor]] meeting VideoGame/{{Diablo}}? Isn't this precisely what fan-fiction is for? I didn't approve any of this!"''
-->-- '''[[Franchise/{{Warcraft}} Thrall]], about ''VideoGame/HeroesOfTheStorm''
9th Mar '15 2:44:31 AM Morgenthaler
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->So ''Torchwood''. [[MiracleDay Series four.]] Ideas. Went for a walk round LA. Dying for a smoke! But not allowed. Hmmph. Everyone's so health conscious here. Cancer. huh!\\\

to:

->So ''Torchwood''. [[MiracleDay [[Series/TorchwoodMiracleDay Series four.]] Ideas. Went for a walk round LA. Dying for a smoke! But not allowed. Hmmph. Everyone's so health conscious here. Cancer. huh!\\\
2nd Feb '15 8:55:45 AM johnnyfog
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->''"The pitch for this movie must have been interesting. 'Okay, we have Vinnie Jones killing people with a gigantic meat tenderizer! Why? Who gives a sh*t! We’ll work that out as we go along.'"''

to:

->''"The ->The pitch for this movie must have been interesting. 'Okay, we have Vinnie Jones killing people with a gigantic meat tenderizer! Why? Who gives a sh*t! We’ll work that out as we go along.'"'''



->''"Busey is an ex-cooler (a cooler is the guy called in when things get too hot for the bouncers-- my god, I know too much about ''Film/RoadHouse'') who wants the Black Pelican because it's "prime-ass real estate when it comes to the exciting world of drug running"... Apparently the bar is in some nexus of drug-running convenience, the right distance from Florida and Texas and within easy reach of those extensive swamp smuggling lanes. But once again, I don't see why these drug deals have to be made at a bar when they could be made [[CutLexLuthorACheck much more easily at the pier or any other building]]. The only thing I can think of is that The Busey is a big fan of the music and their Bloomin' Onion appetizer."''

to:

->''"Busey ->Busey is an ex-cooler (a cooler is the guy called in when things get too hot for the bouncers-- my god, I know too much about ''Film/RoadHouse'') who wants the Black Pelican because it's "prime-ass real estate when it comes to the exciting world of drug running"... Apparently the bar is in some nexus of drug-running convenience, the right distance from Florida and Texas and within easy reach of those extensive swamp smuggling lanes. But once again, I don't see why these drug deals have to be made at a bar when they could be made [[CutLexLuthorACheck much more easily at the pier or any other building]]. The only thing I can think of is that The Busey is a big fan of the music and their Bloomin' Onion appetizer."''



->''"Wait, what? How did we go from, "I don't like that my sister is dating some wiener in a band," to, "I must fight that band '''[[TakeOverTheCity for control of the area!]]'''" Are we in some post-Apocalyptic world where Orlando is divided into kingdoms run by ninjas and rock bands?"''
-->--'''WebVideo/ObscurusLupa''' on ''Film/MiamiConnection''

->''"Oh please, don't try to have a plot now, movie. You're, like, an hour in."''

to:

->''"Wait, what? ->Wait--''what?'' How did we go from, "I don't like that my sister is dating some wiener in a band," to, "I must fight that band '''[[TakeOverTheCity for control of the area!]]'''" Are we in some post-Apocalyptic world where Orlando is divided into kingdoms run by ninjas and rock bands?"''
-->--'''WebVideo/ObscurusLupa''' -->--'''Creator/AllisonPregler''' on ''Film/MiamiConnection''

->''"Oh ->Oh please, don't try to have a plot now, movie. You're, like, an hour in."''



->''"Wasn't the original plot of [[VideoGame/DoubleDragon Double Dragon]] "Someone punches a chick in the stomach and two guys have to go rescue her"? What? Was that story just too complex for the writers to figure out?"''
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''' on ''[[Film/DoubleDragon Double Dragon]]''

->''"Kitty Pryde (Creator/EllenPage) turns out to not be just good at walking through walls, but also capable of sending peoples' minds back in time, so they can warn of surprise attacks before they happen. Most minds can't handle more than a day or so, but when Wolverine points out that his mind can heal from anything, they decide to send him all the way back to [[TheSeventies 1973]], the year the Sentinels made their big debut. Now, you may be asking, if the Sentinels were built in the '70s and they've been steadily evolving ever since, where exactly were they in the other movies...? Also, how did the world not know about mutants prior to Senator Kelly crusading against them in [[TheNineties the '90s?]] If you are asking that question, and bothered by it, you may not enjoy the rest of the movie very much. It really comes down to "Do I like this cast and crew enough to forgive the huge {{plot hole}}s?'"''
-->--'''''Topless Robot''''', [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2014/05/tr_review_x-men_days_of_future_past_isokay.php "X-Men: Days of Future Past is...okay"]]

->''"The movie is a mind-boggling gorefest; the whole setup is really just a thin excuse for an endless array of gruesome horrors... the alternative script for a logical ''Story of [[Film/RikiOhTheStoryOfRicky Ricky]]'' was two pages long, one of which consisted of the words 'Ricky goes to prison, then decides to leave.' The other was just a graphically detailed crayon drawing of a smashed brain."''

to:

->''"Wasn't the original plot of [[VideoGame/DoubleDragon Double Dragon]] "Someone punches a chick in the stomach and two guys have to go rescue her"? What? Was that story just too complex for the writers to figure out?"''
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''' on ''[[Film/DoubleDragon Double Dragon]]''

->''"Kitty
->Kitty Pryde (Creator/EllenPage) turns out to not be just good at walking through walls, but also capable of sending peoples' minds back in time, so they can warn of surprise attacks before they happen. Most minds can't handle more than a day or so, but when Wolverine points out that his mind can heal from anything, they decide to send him all the way back to [[TheSeventies 1973]], the year the Sentinels made their big debut. Now, you may be asking, if the Sentinels were built in the '70s and they've been steadily evolving ever since, where exactly were they in the other movies...? Also, how did the world not know about mutants prior to Senator Kelly crusading against them in [[TheNineties the '90s?]] If you are asking that question, and bothered by it, you may not enjoy the rest of the movie very much. It really comes down to "Do I like this cast and crew enough to forgive the huge {{plot hole}}s?'"''
-->--'''''Topless Robot''''',
hole}}s?'
-->--'''''Blog/ToplessRobot''''',
[[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2014/05/tr_review_x-men_days_of_future_past_isokay.php "X-Men: Days of Future Past is...okay"]]

->''"The ->The movie is a mind-boggling gorefest; the whole setup is really just a thin excuse for an endless array of gruesome horrors... the alternative script for a logical ''Story of [[Film/RikiOhTheStoryOfRicky Ricky]]'' was two pages long, one of which consisted of the words 'Ricky goes to prison, then decides to leave.' The other was just a graphically detailed crayon drawing of a smashed brain."''



->'''Jack:''' I don't know if this can be said enough: ''We have no idea why dinosaurs are this world.''
->'''Jay:''' Other than the fact that they wanted to make a movie with dinosaurs in it.
->'''Josh:''' They hint at that early on in the movie: They're about ready to "clone raccoons" and bring them back from extinction. Why would you do dinosaurs ''first''?
->'''Rich:''' Why would you '''[[ForScience not]]'''??
->'''Josh:''' Because it's unpredictable, Rich. Bring raccoons back and see how that works.
->'''Jay:''' I've seen ''Jurassic Park''. Everything'll work out ''fine!''
-->--'''''WebVideo/BestOfTheWorst''''' on ''Film/TheodoreRex''

->'''Mike:''' Admiral Robocop, he got worried because [[Film/StarTrek Romulans from the future blew up Vulcan and blew up all the Starfleet ships]]. So he says, "We need to have a militarized Starfleet." But politically, that's not gonna fly, so, uh, because of that, Starfleet ships were looking around the galaxy(?).
->'''Jay:''' It's one of those things they explain in one line. Like, "eh, so we went searching for ''[[HandWave things]].''"
->'''Mike:''' Yes. And so, they found Khan floating on a ship... They wake up Khan and say, "Khan, ''you'' are a smart super-man. I guess you also know how to build an incredibly-advanced starship."
->'''Rich:''' "Because, y'know, with [[FridgeLogic your knowledge of technology that's 300 years old]], I can't think of a more perfect person to build a modern day super-ship."
-->--'''''[[WebVideo/HalfInTheBag Half in the Bag]]''''' on ''Film/StarTrekIntoDarkness''

->''"So ''Torchwood''. [[MiracleDay Series four.]] Ideas. Went for a walk round LA. Dying for a smoke! But not allowed. Hmmph. Everyone's so health conscious here. Cancer. huh!\\\

to:

->'''Jack:''' I don't know if this can be said enough: ''We have no idea why dinosaurs are this world.''
->'''Jay:'''
''\\
'''Jay:'''
Other than the fact that they wanted to make a movie with dinosaurs in it.
->'''Josh:'''
it.\\
'''Josh:'''
They hint at that early on in the movie: They're about ready to "clone raccoons" and bring them back from extinction. Why would you do dinosaurs ''first''?
->'''Rich:'''
''first''?\\
'''Rich:'''
Why would you '''[[ForScience not]]'''??
->'''Josh:'''
not]]'''??\\
'''Josh:'''
Because it's unpredictable, Rich. Bring raccoons back and see how that works.
->'''Jay:'''
works.\\
'''Jay:'''
I've seen ''Jurassic Park''. Everything'll work out ''fine!''
-->--'''''WebVideo/BestOfTheWorst''''' -->--''WebVideo/BestOfTheWorst'' on ''Film/TheodoreRex''

->'''Mike:''' Admiral Robocop, he got worried because [[Film/StarTrek Romulans from the future blew up Vulcan and blew up all the Starfleet ships]]. So he says, "We need to have a militarized Starfleet." But politically, that's not gonna fly, so, uh, because of that, Starfleet ships were looking around the galaxy(?).
->'''Jay:'''
galaxy(?).\\
'''Jay:'''
It's one of those things they explain in one line. Like, "eh, so we went searching for ''[[HandWave things]].''"
->'''Mike:'''
''"\\
'''Mike:'''
Yes. And so, they found Khan floating on a ship... They wake up Khan and say, "Khan, ''you'' are a smart super-man. I guess you also know how to build an incredibly-advanced starship."\\
'''Rich:''' "Because, y'know, with [[FridgeLogic your knowledge of technology that's 300 years old]], I can't think of a more perfect person to build a modern day super-ship.
"
->'''Rich:''' "Because, y'know, with [[FridgeLogic your knowledge of technology that's 300 years old]], I can't think of a more perfect person to build a modern day super-ship."
-->--'''''[[WebVideo/HalfInTheBag
-->--''[[WebVideo/HalfInTheBag Half in the Bag]]''''' Bag]]'' on ''Film/StarTrekIntoDarkness''

->''"So ->So ''Torchwood''. [[MiracleDay Series four.]] Ideas. Went for a walk round LA. Dying for a smoke! But not allowed. Hmmph. Everyone's so health conscious here. Cancer. huh!\\\



That's it. Enough ideas. I'm going out for more fags. (Cigarettes whoops! must remember I'm in LA. How could I forget? ''Torchwood''! [[ForeignRemake In LA.]] Brilliant!)"''
-->--''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2014/07/outside-government-categories-of-life.html#comment-form TARDIS Eruditorum]]'' (to be read in your best RussellTDavies voice)

to:

That's it. Enough ideas. I'm going out for more fags. (Cigarettes whoops! must remember I'm in LA. How could I forget? ''Torchwood''! [[ForeignRemake In LA.]] Brilliant!)"''
Brilliant!)
-->--''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2014/07/outside-government-categories-of-life.html#comment-form TARDIS Eruditorum]]'' (to be read in your best RussellTDavies Creator/RussellTDavies voice)
27th Jan '15 10:17:21 AM Morgenthaler
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->''"Busey is an ex-cooler (a cooler is the guy called in when things get too hot for the bouncers-- my god, I know too much about ''RoadHouse'') who wants the Black Pelican because it's "prime-ass real estate when it comes to the exciting world of drug running"... Apparently the bar is in some nexus of drug-running convenience, the right distance from Florida and Texas and within easy reach of those extensive swamp smuggling lanes. But once again, I don't see why these drug deals have to be made at a bar when they could be made [[CutLexLuthorACheck much more easily at the pier or any other building]]. The only thing I can think of is that The Busey is a big fan of the music and their Bloomin' Onion appetizer."''

to:

->''"Busey is an ex-cooler (a cooler is the guy called in when things get too hot for the bouncers-- my god, I know too much about ''RoadHouse'') ''Film/RoadHouse'') who wants the Black Pelican because it's "prime-ass real estate when it comes to the exciting world of drug running"... Apparently the bar is in some nexus of drug-running convenience, the right distance from Florida and Texas and within easy reach of those extensive swamp smuggling lanes. But once again, I don't see why these drug deals have to be made at a bar when they could be made [[CutLexLuthorACheck much more easily at the pier or any other building]]. The only thing I can think of is that The Busey is a big fan of the music and their Bloomin' Onion appetizer."''
16th Jan '15 7:06:04 AM VictorDamazio
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->''"Wasn't the original plot of [[VideoGame/DoubleDragon Double Dragon]] "Someone punches a chick in the stomach and two guys have to go rescue her"? What? Was that story just too complex for the writers to figure out?"''
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''' on ''[[Film/DoubleDragon Double Dragon]]''
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