History Quotes / CriticalResearchFailure

21st Jun '17 10:25:40 AM mister-bittersweet
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->''One of the biggest and most central characters to any war story is the war itself. Real life historical wars often have numerous accounts written from many different perspectives. These varied records can make researching the setting easy, but they make even better drink coasters. It is far easier to skim a Wikipedia article before getting bored a third of the way through and instead watch Series/Mash. [[SarcasmMode Don't worry, I'm sure history nerds won't point out a story's historical inaccuracies]].''

to:

->''One of the biggest and most central characters to any war story is the war itself. Real life historical wars often have numerous accounts written from many different perspectives. These varied records can make researching the setting easy, but they make even better drink coasters. It is far easier to skim a Wikipedia article before getting bored a third of the way through and instead watch Series/Mash.Series/{{Mash}}. [[SarcasmMode Don't worry, I'm sure history nerds won't point out a story's historical inaccuracies]].''
21st Jun '17 10:24:59 AM mister-bittersweet
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->''One of the biggest and most central characters to any war story is the war itself. Real life historical wars often have numerous accounts written from many different perspectives. These varied records can make researching the setting easy, but they make even better drink coasters. It is far easier to skim a Wikipedia article before getting bored a third of the way through and instead watch Series/Mash. [[SarcasmMode Don't worry, I'm sure history nerds won't point out a story's historical inaccuracies]].''
-->-- '''WebAnimation/TerribleWritingAdvice, [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qW9pxR1uHBs WAR STORIES]]'''
18th Apr '17 12:07:07 AM Anddrix
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->'''Doctor:''' ''Voyager'' wasn't a "warship"! We were explorers!\\
'''Quarren:''' Yes, I know. Trying to get home, to Mars.\\
'''Doctor:''' '''''EARTH!''''' You see, you couldn't even get ''that'' right!
-->--''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "Living Witness"



->It gets rather childish at some points in the movie that I can pick apart these supposed '[[InformedAbility geniuses]]' with my high school science education. Take for instance when the astrophysicist hits the hull of the ship with a hammer and goes 'HA! Here is basic physics ladies and gentlemen! If this ship were so super strong then why does my hammer chip the paint. This proves something!' Um, no. [[ArtisticLicensePhysics Strength is not something that is always attributed to rigid inflexibility.]] It all depends on what you need the material to do. Many materials are incredibly pliable yet strong at the same time. Kevlar (for example) is strong to ballistic forces but not to others. You canít just lump in hard=good and hand me this crap as basic physics.
-->--'''Miles Antwiler''' [[http://moviemoses.wordpress.com/2010/03/08/sphere-1998-barry-levinson/ on]] ''{{Film/Sphere}}'' (1998)



->'''Noah:''' (authoritative) Watch enough wrestling and you learn to recognize the setups: This'll be a powerslam...\\
'''Announcer:''' OH! What a bodyslam.\\
'''Noah:''' --'''''[[BigWhat WHAT!]]''''' ''That's'' not a bodyslam!\\
'''Announcer:''' Takes the punch! Kurt does a flying bodyslam...\\
'''Noah:''' Oh for christsake... That's a cross body block! Can we agree that a bodyslam involves, at minimum, ''picking up'' the other guy?\\
'''Announcer:''' Watch this flying body slam!\\
'''Noah:''' ''Cross body block!'' Is anything '''not''' a bodyslam in this game? ... I don't even know what a "powerslam" is anymore. But judging from the card it's the [[Wrestling/TedDiBiase "Million Dollar Man" Ted DiBiase]] throwing-- a CROSS BODY BLOCK! YOU '''NAMED THE GAME AFTER IT!!'''
-->--[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]], "Black Hole of Board Games" (''VOSTFR - Power Slam VCR Wrestling'')

->... Creator/HGWells is separated from almost all actual representation of his history. The list of historical howlers about Wells is huge -- his accent is wrong, his hair color is wrong, he goes by Herbert instead of George, heís inexplicably well off, he appears to believe in God... Indeed, about the only meaningful trait Herbert displays in terms of him being HG Wells is that heíll supposedly [[IShouldWriteABookAboutThis write several books based on these experiences.]] But, of course, the plots of his books donít really resemble Timelash either.
-->-- '''[[http://www.eruditorumpress.com/blog/by-no-means-the-most-interesting-timelash/ Phil Sandifer]]''' on "[[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS22E5Timelash}} Timelash]]"

->What might have been a trenchant idea, that copyright law is outdated and does nothing but leash creativity, is undermined by Matt Yglesias [[UnwantedAssistance and his poo-filled head]]. His argument is based around the author who took over writing James Bond novels complaining that he has to please too many people, including Creator/IanFleming's estate, and it makes writing a James Bond book hard. Yglesias then points to Franchise/SherlockHolmes, a character no longer under copyright, and all the wonderful Sherlock Holmes stories not written by Arthur Conan Doyle. Because the ultimate creativity is writing fan fiction that never matches or surpasses the original work, and we need to get rid of copyright law [[ChewbaccaDefense so we can have more fan fiction]]. Thanks, bro. Really thought about that one.
-->--'''''Website/SomethingAwful''''', [[http://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/matt-yglesias-slate/1/ "The Stupidest Articles from Slate's Matt Yglesias in 2013"]]

->First off, we get some hooey about {{the Roaring Twenties}} being great for poor people (in reality, income inequality drastically increased) and how [[TheGreatDepression the 1929 crash]] was not really caused by speculation. Yes, the stupidity starts this early.
-->--'''''Wiki/RationalWiki''''' on "historian" Amity Shlaes



->In a way the Texas Board of Education is the very symbol of American lunacy... Leo is perhaps particularly famous for getting the childrenís book ''Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See?'' by Bill Martin expunged from the elementary school curriculum because a Google search revealed that Bill Martin had also written [[RedScare a book on Marxism]] -- never mind that this was a completely different Bill Martin.
-->--''[[http://americanloons.blogspot.com/2011/08/234-terri-leo.html Encyclopedia of American Loons]]'' on Terri Leo a.k.a. Sultana of the Texas Taliban
6th Feb '17 12:31:03 PM MeekGazelle
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-->-- '''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2012/05/by-no-means-most-interesting-timelash.html Phil Sandifer]]''' on "[[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS22E5Timelash}} Timelash]]"

to:

-->-- '''[[http://www.philipsandifer.com/2012/05/by-no-means-most-interesting-timelash.html eruditorumpress.com/blog/by-no-means-the-most-interesting-timelash/ Phil Sandifer]]''' on "[[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS22E5Timelash}} Timelash]]"
9th Sep '16 10:23:50 PM KamenRiderOokalf
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-->--''WebOriginal/NotAlwaysRight'', "[[https://notalwaysright.com/when-in-rome-or-a-kosher-deli/287 When in Rome (or a kosher deli)]]"

to:

-->--''WebOriginal/NotAlwaysRight'', -->--''Website/NotAlwaysRight'', "[[https://notalwaysright.com/when-in-rome-or-a-kosher-deli/287 When in Rome (or a kosher deli)]]"
7th Sep '16 5:12:32 AM longWriter
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->What might have been a trenchant idea, that copyright law is outdated and does nothing but leash creativity, is undermined by Matt Yglesias [[StopHelpingMe and his poo-filled head]]. His argument is based around the author who took over writing James Bond novels complaining that he has to please too many people, including Creator/IanFleming's estate, and it makes writing a James Bond book hard. Yglesias then points to Franchise/SherlockHolmes, a character no longer under copyright, and all the wonderful Sherlock Holmes stories not written by Arthur Conan Doyle. Because the ultimate creativity is writing fan fiction that never matches or surpasses the original work, and we need to get rid of copyright law [[ChewbaccaDefense so we can have more fan fiction]]. Thanks, bro. Really thought about that one.

to:

->What might have been a trenchant idea, that copyright law is outdated and does nothing but leash creativity, is undermined by Matt Yglesias [[StopHelpingMe [[UnwantedAssistance and his poo-filled head]]. His argument is based around the author who took over writing James Bond novels complaining that he has to please too many people, including Creator/IanFleming's estate, and it makes writing a James Bond book hard. Yglesias then points to Franchise/SherlockHolmes, a character no longer under copyright, and all the wonderful Sherlock Holmes stories not written by Arthur Conan Doyle. Because the ultimate creativity is writing fan fiction that never matches or surpasses the original work, and we need to get rid of copyright law [[ChewbaccaDefense so we can have more fan fiction]]. Thanks, bro. Really thought about that one.
21st Aug '16 7:17:37 PM ThatBitterTase
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'''Todd''': ''Mercy Mercy Me'' is a song about '''[[GreenAesop the environment]]''', you vapid eunuchs!

to:

'''Todd''': ''Mercy Mercy Me'' is a song about '''[[GreenAesop the environment]]''', you vapid eunuchs!eunuchs! [[note]]It's not even subtle about it; the ''full'' title is "Mercy Mercy Me (The Ecology)".[[/note]]
20th Aug '16 2:27:23 PM Naram-Sin
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->'''Customer:''' What? Do you have a thing against ham or something?
->'''Kosher Deli Clerk:''' Actually... yes, we do.
-->--''WebOriginal/NotAlwaysRight'', "[[https://notalwaysright.com/when-in-rome-or-a-kosher-deli/287 When in Rome (or a kosher deli)]]"
30th Jul '16 3:12:49 PM Luigifan
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->[...] episodes like "[[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E11NotAllDogsGoToHeaven Not All Dogs go to Heaven]]", "[[Recap/FamilyGuyS10E3ScreamsOFSilenceTheStoryOfBrendaQ Screams of Silence]]", and "[[Recap/FamilyGuyS8E18QuagmiresDad Quagmire's Dad]]", they're pretty much the equivalent of a guy thinking that he knows everything on harsh real-world topics because he spent two minutes on Wiki/{{Wikipedia}}... after a {{troll}} edited the page!

to:

->[...] episodes like "[[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E11NotAllDogsGoToHeaven Not All Dogs go to Heaven]]", "[[Recap/FamilyGuyS10E3ScreamsOFSilenceTheStoryOfBrendaQ Screams of Silence]]", and "[[Recap/FamilyGuyS8E18QuagmiresDad Quagmire's Dad]]", they're pretty much the equivalent of a guy thinking that he knows everything on harsh real-world topics because he spent two minutes on Wiki/{{Wikipedia}}... after a {{troll}} [[WikiVandal edited the page!page]]!
29th Jun '16 2:55:24 PM Naram-Sin
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->''I refuse to take seriously a zodiac-themed villain that thinks what appears to be a crawdad represents Cancer, which is symbolized by a crab.''

->''This is likeÖ Elementary research you should undertake before you embark on your career as a super villain. Címon now.''
-->--'''{{Website/Superdickery}}'''
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