History Quotes / Buttmonkey

-->--'''[[http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-new-york-giants-1630014411 Drew McGary]]''', "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: New York Giants"

-->-- From the chorus to "Charlie Brown", by '''The Coasters''' (and no, the song is not about ''[[ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}} that]]'' Charlie Brown)

-->--Sammy (Allen Covert) from Creator/AdamSandler's ''[[Recap/AdamSandlerS2E2Respect Respect]]''

-->--"That's Life", '''Marion Montgomery'''

[[HonestJohnsDealership I bought some quicksand,]] [[{{Pun}} the deal fell through]]\\

-->--'''Rodney Dangerfield''', "Rappin' Rodney"

-->--'''Creator/GoreVidal''', ''Palimpsest''

->''"The Giants are an aunt's house you dread visiting. Every time the Giants come onto my television, the screen magically reverts to standard definition...Every time I think of them, all I think about is [[Film/WhenHarryMetSally Billy Crystal telling Bruno Kirby]] that he's getting a divorce. That seems like a Giants fan thing to do. ''Let's go to the game and we can talk about how Helen never loved me. Oh, and [[TheLoad Eli will throw a pick.]]''"''

->''"I lead a cursed life!"''
-->--'''Yosuke''', ''VideoGame/{{Persona 4}}'', finally realizing that he is this trope.

-->--'''[[ComicStrip/FoxTrot Peter Fox]]''' writing his essay for a 'sympathy grade' (which takes up several pages).

->''"Boy, i have just had enough with this. This man is the MC, of his own show. His name is literally in the title of it, and he gets '''[[SuddenlyShouting BITCHED BY EVERYBODY!]]''' Listen, when you think of this show, you think of Pingu! When you think of this show, you think of the noot-noot guy! '''[[SuddenlyShouting SO WHY IS THE NOOT-NOOT GUY GETTING PWNED?!]]''' By everybody?!"''
-->--'''Jaylen Civil/Teezzy's Vids''', [[https://youtu.be/C0MJ6KZpY1I?si=XsBtVnUAwB5cvFKc roasting]] ''WesternAnimation/{{Pingu}}''

'''Gandhi''' would have kicked this kid's ass.
-->--'''Darren [=MacLennon=]''', [[http://www.rpg.net/reviews/archive/14/14347.phtml review]] of the ''Literature/{{Wraeththu}};; RPG.

->''"If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing well. If it's not worth doing, give it to Rimmer."''
-->--''Series/RedDwarf''

-->--''Sugar Kane'', ''Film/SomeLikeItHot''

'''ComicStrip/{{Nodwick}}:''' They valiantly fed me to a '''hydra''', sundered an ancient seal with my '''head''', and spoiled an evil wizard's spell by substituting my '''nose''' for one of the spell components. [[SarcasmMode Huzzah.]]
-->--''Webcomic/{{Nodwick}} [[http://nodwick.humor.gamespy.com/gamespyarchive/index.php?date=2001-12-05 here]]''

->'''Fran:''' Where's Manny?
->'''Bernard:''' He's not here.
->'''Fran:''' Well how can I find him?
->'''Bernard:''' You could become a terrible event and happen to him.
-->--''Series/BlackBooks''

->''"Sometimes, I'm afraid to be happy, because whenever I get too happy, something bad always happens."''
-->--'''[[ComicStrip/{{Peanuts}} Charlie Brown]]'''

-->--'''Neville Longbottom''', ''Film/HarryPotter''

->''"Hey c'mon, make fun of the bald guy! I'll be your lightning rod of hate!"''
-->--'''Colin Mochrie''', ''Series/WhoseLineIsItAnyway?''

-->--'''Dewey Largo (the music teacher)''', ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''

->''"Sometimes, I think I was born to be picked on..."''
-->--'''Moses Sandor''', ''VideoGame/TalesOfLegendia''

->''"I was the happiest guy in the world, [[FailureIsTheOnlyOption but fate likes to play a little game called 'Up Yours, Moe.']]"''
-->--'''Moe''', WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons

-->--''Literature/TheColourOfMagic'' (describing Rincewind, of course)

->''If you're going to probe anyone, probe Chris!''
-->--'''Dan''' after he and Chris get taken by a UFO, ''WesternAnimation/DanVs''

->''Wow. Even my dreams hate me.''
-->--'''Jerry''', WesternAnimation/CodeMonkeys

-->--''[[VideoGame/PokemonRedAndBlue Pokemon Fire Red's]]'' Pokedex entry for Magikarp

->''I think somebody rubbed all the sixes off the dice he throws.''
-->--'''[[MadScientist Kevyn Andreyasn]]''' on John [[SdrawkcabName der Trihs]], ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary''

->''I have every faith in your reconciliatory navigational skills, Mr. Gibbs, now where is that monkey, I want to shoot something!''
-->--'''Jack Sparrrow''' to '''Joshamee Gibbs''', ''Film/PiratesOfTheCaribbeanDeadMansChest''

-->--'''Noel Vermillion''' when all the other female characters gang up on her over Ragna in Rachel's gag ending, ''VideoGame/BlazBlueContinuumShift''

-->--'''Zorne Sepperin''', ''VideoGame/{{Rosenkreuzstilette}}''

->''He hath been most notoriously abused.''
-->--'''Olivia''' on '''Malvolio''', [[LampshadeHanging hanging a lampshade]] at the end of ''Theatre/TwelfthNight''

->''Are we laughing at Yamcha? Because I'm always up for that.''
-->--'''King Kai,''' '''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged'''

->''[[BreakingTheFourthWall Why must every 11 minutes of my life be filled with misery? Why?]]''
-->--'''Squidward Tentacles''', ''WesternAnimation/SpongebobSquarepants''

->'''Teddie''': Wowee, Sensei! That was amazing! Don't you think so, whatsyourface?
->'''Yosuke''': Dude, why can't I be 'Sensei'?
->'''Teddie''': Because you're comic relief.
-->--'''Webcomic/{{Hiimdaisy}}[='=]s Overly Long VideoGame/{{Persona 4}} Comic'''

-->--'''[[Manga/{{Bleach}} Yumichika]]''', ''FanFic/UninvitedGuests''

->'''[[ComicBook/AntMan Hank Pym]]''': ''You can take over from here? You? [[ComicBook/IronMan Tony Stark?]] [[ComicBook/CivilWar2006 Mister Fought-against-Cap-in-the-civil-war,]] [[ComicBook/WorldWarHulk shot-Hulk-into-space-and-caused-World-War-Hulk,]] [[ComicBook/SecretInvasion gave-the-Skrulls-everything-they-needed-to-invade-Earth.]] You're taking over? Come on, give me one good reason why--''
->'''ComicBook/IronMan''': ''[[TwoWordsAddedEmphasis Three words. You're. Hank. Pym.]]''
->'''Hank Pym''': ''Hey, come on!''
-->--'''[[ComicBook/TheAvengers Mighty Avengers]], Issue #23'''

-->--'''''Maxim''''', "[[http://www.maxim.com/sports/eight-sports-cities-could-use-some-serious-luck Eight Sports Cities That Could Use Some Serious Luck]]"

->'''Allon''': Okay, you don't like me! We get it!
-->-- ''WebAnimation/SpaceTree'' [[http://youtu.be/tgF2rOV2qxA episode 43]]

->''Nobody screws Yamcha but life.''
-->--'''Bulma,''' ''WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged''

->'''Stan Marsh''': [[TheyKilledKennyAgain Oh my God! They killed Kenny!]]
->'''Kyle Broflovski''': You bastards!
-->--''WesternAnimation/SouthPark''

->''Your life will be filled with disappointment.''
-->--'''Robbie Shapiro''' while reading a fortune cookie, Series/{{Victorious}}

-->--'''[[VisualNovel/PhoenixWrightAceAttorney Phoenix Wright]]''', ''Franchise/AceAttorney''

->''I'm always the fall guy!''

-->-- ''VideoGame/MarioParty4'', description of Luigi's table in the Present Room.

->''"[[{{Catchphrase}} Thundering typhoons!]] Everything happens to me!"''
-->--'''Captain Haddock''', ''[[Franchise/{{Tintin}} The Adventures of Tintin]]''

->''Every single day I gotta clean up the kitchen!''\\
''Bowser's screaming at me saying scrub all of the dishes!''\\
''And Junior's a gremlin, he's a monster I live with!''
->''That's the reason why I quit, 'cuz I just reached the limit!''
->''The struggle is real, I need a new job! I worked as a plumber and I once was a cop.''
->''I shot a black guy and I planted a gun by his leg.''
->''I quit the plumber job [[ToiletHumor 'cuz I got poop on my head!]]''
->''Worked at a call center but it got on my nerves!''
->''They were so rude, that's not what I deserve.''
->''[[VideoGame/FiveNightsAtFreddys And a security guard at a pizza place,]] the monsters came alive when you stayed too late!''
->''Had to quit Bowser, He treats me like a slave, always make me watch his brat, but I barely get paid!''
->''But I hate these other jobs, I don't know what to do!''
->''[[LampshadeHanging (Dude, your life sucks!)]]''
->''(Toad you don't have a clue!)''
->''Man I hate my life, Man I hate my life, Man I hate my life,''
->''I kinda wish that I was white!''
->''Man I hate my life, Man I hate my life, Man I hate my life,''
->''I kinda wish that I was white!''
->''Man I hate my life, Man I hate my life, Man I hate my life,''
->''I wish that everything was right!''
->''Man I hate my life, Man I hate my life, Man I hate my life,''
->''I wish that everything was right!''
-->--'''Chef Pee Pee''', ''WebVideo/SuperMarioLogan's'' "Chef Pee Pee Quits (Part 6)"

->''Who gets stuck with all the bad luck? No-one but Donald Duck!''
-->-- The end of the post-1947 ''WesternAnimation/DonaldDuck'' theme.

-> ''If I had a dime for every time I got my ass kicked, I might not be in crippling debt!''
-->'''Krillin''', ''WebVideo/DragonballZAbridged''[[note]]Going by the Krillin Owned Counter he'd have 3 dollars and 90 cents, so he'd ''still'' be in debt.[[/note]]

-> ''I've been blindsided by my son, reamed by the IRS, rejected by my lover, betrayed by my friend, molested by a truck driver, cast out by my mother, and rained on by God. And this isn't even the worst day of my life.''
-->'''Alan Harper''', ''Series/TwoAndAHalfMen''

-->-- '''Comicbook/{{Supergirl}}''', ''ComicBook/SupergirlCosmicAdventuresInThe8thGrade''

-->--'''Dexter''', ''WesternAnimation/DextersLaboratory''

->''Blackadder picks up the cat and kicks it into the air''\\

'''Blackadder:''' It is the way of the world, Baldrick. The abused always kick downwards. I am annoyed, and so I kick the cat, the cat [loud squeak] pounces on the mouse, and finally, the mouse--\\

-->--''Series/{{Blackadder}} the Third''

-->-- '''Batbilig Chinzorig''' [[note]]The card has the person who drew it to make a funny face to the other players to try to make them laugh or else pay the penalty.[[/note]], ''Quelf''

->''"Am I cursed...? Did I insult a gypsy or something...?"''
-->-- '''Yosuke''', after Operation: Up Close and Personal ends in a wrecked scooter, ''VideoGame/Persona4 Golden''

->''To say [[FailureHero our heroes]] are cursed would be underselling it. At least curses usually have a chance of being ''lifted'' in some way. ''

->So let me sum up the ways in which my life sucks right now: I've had a bunch of [[HumanoidAbomination extra responsibilities]] [[SuperEmpowering dumped on me]] for no extra pay, I've had to move out of my home because [[ItMakesSenseInContext my wife's violin tried to murder me]], morale is in the shitter because of [[BrokenMasquerade the disaster in Leeds]], and for the piece de resistance, they made me wear a suit and [[PromotedToScapegoat sent me to be grilled live on TV]], because we don't have the budget to hire a public relations fixer!
->Yeah, it all sucks, but I suppose it could be worse. At least ''this'' time [[CallBack my line manager isn't trying to sacrifice me to an elder god]]. But it's still only May, so I suppose there's time for that to change...
-->--''[[Literature/TheLaundryFiles The Delirium Brief]]''

-->--'''Website/SFDebris''' reviews ''VideoGame/DragonAgeII''

-->--''Literature/{{Colony}}''

->Perhaps... Rimmer's eyes began to widen... perhaps he'd died and ''actually gone to hell!'' For a terrible instant, it made horrible sense. It would be hard to imagine that anything but the devil's own gnarled, hairy testicles had spawned a creature like [[SitcomArchnemesis Lister]]. The grinning little gimboid ''admitted'' he didn't know who his parents were.
-->--''Literature/RedDwarf: Backwards''

->''The things I do for love..''
-->--'''WesternAnimation/CourageTheCowardlyDog''', bemoaning the perilous situations he's always put through to save Muriel.

->''Your very existence is grounds for a whole genre of jokes.''
-->--'''Cegorach''' to '''Magnus the Red''', ''WebAnimation/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDevice''

->''"On you, little man, I don't want to waste much time; you've been pushed around all your life\\
You've been pushed around by your mother, and your sister and your brother\\

-->--'''Dr. Facilier''' to '''Lawrence''', ''WesternAnimation/ThePrincessAndTheFrog''

'''Daffy:''' Exactly my point! And-\\

'''Daffy:''' '''[[PainPoweredLeap YEOW!]]''' ''(runs around hollering while Bugs laughs)''\\

'''Daffy:''' ''(extinguishes tail)'' Ugh... what am I even talking to you for? All you have to do is munch on a carrot and people love you.

->''You have a real talent of getting your ass kicked.''
-->--[[spoiler: '''Lila,''']] to '''Cassel,''' ''[[Literature/TheCurseWorkers White Cat]]''

->''Okay, I guess I'm just this entire family's toilet paper.''
-->-- '''Jerry''' from ''WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty'' in the episode, [[Recap/RickAndMortyS2E9LookWhosPurging Look Who's Purging Now]]

-->--'''Carnage''' on '''Spider-Man''', ''ComicBook/SpiderMan: The Trial of Peter Parker''

->''One nightmare after another!''
-->-- '''Sebastian J. Cricket''', ''WesternAnimation/GuillermoDelTorosPinocchio''

-->--'''Jack Manifold''' in response to Niki being imprisoned on his balcony by [[TheDictatorship the Schlatt administration]], ''WebVideo/DreamSMP'' [[note]]It's because of his house's close proximity to (L')Manburg and its Podium[[/note]]

->''God fucking damn it, leave me alone! There's an anti-bullying rule!''

->''"Why whenever something's going on, it's always on my balcony?"''

-->--'''Jack Manifold''' in response to Niki being imprisoned on his balcony by [[TheDictatorship the Schlatt administration]], ''LetsPlay/DreamSMP'' [[note]]It's because of his house's close proximity to (L')Manburg and its Podium[[/note]]

->''"One nightmare after another!"''

-->-- ''WesternAnimation/WackyRaces2017''