History Quotes / BlessedWithSuck

-->-- A resentful ex-leper, ''Film/MontyPythonsLifeOfBrian''

Power enough to win? [[FailureHero No.]] Power enough to fight? Ah, yes. Just enough, little Jake, here is just enough power to [[HurtingHero imprison you in a cage of duty]], [[WarIsHell to make you fight]].

->''Because seriously, nobody wants to be Franchise/{{Batman}}. Neal Stephenson [[Literature/SnowCrash observes the crux of the problem]]: 'Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker in the world. If I moved to a martial-arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Colombian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If I got a fatal disease, had one year to live, and devoted it to wiping out street crime. If I just dropped out and devoted my life to being bad.' The joke, of course, is that nobody does. Why? Because nobody wants a fatal disease, to move to a monastery in China, or, as is perhaps most applicable to Batman, to have their entire families wiped out. The price of ontological supremacy is just too high.''
-->-- '''[[http://projectnes.blogspot.com/2010/04/holy-ontological-narrative-concepts.html El Sandifer]]'''

->''I would sell one of my kids for the ability to fly, so a red nose is no big deal. Besides, the whole point of the Rudolph story is to take pride in the things that make you different...I bet it would fuck with my sleep, though. Like, if there's a big red light bulb between your eyes all night, your sleep cycle will probably be ruined. I might go cross-eyed and developed mania due to sleep deprivation. [[FridgeHorror Eventually, I would go mad, flying around with a knife and breaking through stranger's windows, terrorizing them in the dead of night. And then I would probably be shot to death]]. Still worth it, though!''
-->-- '''[[http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/why-do-nba-teams-tank-so-damn-much-1674518898 Drew Magary]]'''

->''"My name is Fortune. Lucky in war, and nothing else."''
-->-- '''Fortune''', ''VideoGame/MetalGearSolid2SonsOfLiberty''

->'''Killgrave:''' HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? Huh?! I never know if somebody's doing what they want, [[CompellingVoice or what I tell them to!]]\\
'''Jessica:''' Oh, poor you.\\
'''Killgrave:''' You have no idea. I have to ''paintakingly'' choose every word I say! I once told a man [[IWasJustJoking to go screw himself]], can you even imagine?
-->-- ''Series/JessicaJones2015'', "AKA WWJD?"

->'''Andy:''' You get visions... of people about to die? [''Sam nods'']... That's impossible.\\
'''Sam:''' A lot of people would say the same thing about what you do.\\
'''Andy:''' [''pause''] But death visions? Dude, that sucks.
-->-- ''Series/{{Supernatural}}''

->'''Doyle''': They're messages I get, you know from the higher powers, whoever they may be. Y'know, it's my "gift"!\\
'''Cordelia:''' If that was ''my'' gift, I'd return it. I mean you get those headaches, and you do this 'bleh' thing with your face.
-->-- ''Series/{{Angel}}'', "Lonely Hearts"

->''"Imagine there was a door to [[HyperspaceIsAScaryPlace the realm of Daemons]], and the slightest inattention on your behalf would see them batter it down and rip you to shreds. Now imagine that door is inside your head. That is what being a [[PsychicPowers Psyker]] is like."''
-->-- '''Castus Lupa''', Savant Adjunct, ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}''

->''"I spent all morning in the hospital, injecting poison into my body, on purpose. Toxic chemicals designed to kill the cancer cells growing inside me. But as soon as I picked up the hammer, that was all for nothing. The transformation neutralizes the effects of the chemotherapy. It purges the poison from my body. But not the cancer. Because cancer is just another part of me now. A part that keeps getting bigger and is killing me a little bit more each time I change back."''
-->-- '''Jane Foster''', ''ComicBook/Thor2014''

->''"Every morning my body forgets all wounds, all hurts. And makes itself again exactly as it was when the gods first cursed me. I have had the same miscarriage every day for four thousand years."''

->'''Human Kite (Kyle):''' I think it'd be pretty cool not be able to die.
->'''Mysterion [[spoiler:(Kenny)]]:''' PRETTY COOL!? Do you know what it feels like to be ''stabbed?'' To be ''shot?'' ''Decapitated!? Torn apart!? Burned!? Run over!''
->'''Toolshed (Stan):''' [[spoiler:Kenny]], calm down!
->'''Mysterion [[spoiler:(Kenny)]]:''' It's ''not'' "pretty cool", Kyle! ''It fucking'' '''''hurts!'''''
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark'', "Coon vs. Coon and Friends"

->''"Hate my power, hate my power, hate it, hate it, hate it."''
-->-- '''Scapegoat''', {{Literature/Worm}}, on his EmpathicHealer abilities.

->''This strength, this power -— It's been like a curse. But I refuse to be a victim anymore!''

->''"Why do I FIX EVERYTHING I TOUCH?!"''
-->-- '''Fix-It Felix Jr.''', ''WesternAnimation/WreckItRalph''[[note]]He was trying to break out of prison. Unfortunately, his attempts not only repaired, but ''improved'' the cell.[[/note]]

->''"You seem to alternate between viewing your own mind as an unstoppable force and as an inescapable curse. And I think it's because the only truly unapproachable concept for you is that it's your mind within your control. You chose to come here. You chose to talk — to belittle my vocation. Just as you chose to become a pickle. You are the master of your universe, and yet you are, dripping with rat blood and feces. Your enormous mind literally vegetating by your own hand. I have no doubt that you would be bored senseless by therapy, the same way I'm bored when I brush my teeth and wipe my ass. Because the thing about repairing, maintaining, and cleaning is, it's not an adventure. There's no way to do it so wrong you might die. It's just work. And the bottom line is some people are okay going to work, and some people... Well, some people would rather die. Each of us gets to choose."''
-->-- '''Dr. Wong''' to Rick, ''WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty'', "Pickle Rick"

->'''[[ButtMonkey Brian Newman]]:''' Whatever you want, I can't do it. I can't communicate with your dead aunt. I can't tell you who's gonna win the Superbowl. I don't do remote viewing, so I can't tell you who your ex is sleeping with.
->'''Clive Finney:''' You have [[RealityWarper a wonderful gift]], Mr Newman. And a [[PowerIncontinence terrible one]]. [[PowerDegeneration It's killing you]], but I can stop that. No reason you have to end up dead by forty...
-->--''Series/TalesFromTheDarkside: Black Box''

->'''ComicBook/LanaLang:''' You're telling me you're not even going to go look? At all? What if someone needs your help? What if someone's hurt? Look around, Kara. People out there need you. You can use your gifts to --\\
'''[[ComicBook/{{Supergirl}} Kara]]:''' "Gifts"? These "gifts" make a target, Lana. They make me dangerous to everyone around me. And as you'll recall, the last time I tried to help someone, I got a planet full of my people blown up --
-->-- ''ComicBook/{{Bizarrogirl}}''

->Being a mage doesn't mean you're Superman. There's no guarantee of power or comfort with your newfound abilities. In fact, if you're [[BlueCollarWarlock an Orphan]], you've probably got no guarantees of anything at all. No slick [[TheResistance Tradition]]-toady extending you a chance at the holy war. No Technocracy brute making you an offer you can't refuse. You've probably never even heard of the [[SecretWar Ascension War]], and you've just as likely to have never heard of Ascension. You may not even have a word for what you are - and you may have no idea that there are others like you. In realizing the power you possess, you may have seared someone's head off with a bolt of electricity, or blow all the doors and windows out of an entire subway train, shrieking, bloody-eyed as the magick boiled through you and everyone surrounding you looked on in slack-jawed terror.
->Welcome to the streets. [[WelcomeToHell Welcome to being an Orphan]].
-->--''TabletopGame/MageTheAscension - The Orphan's Survival Guide''

->In theory, [[VampiresAreSexGods having an overpowering sexual aura]] might seem like a perk. In reality, it was just another hassle. He'd learned that the hard way. Not long after becoming undead, he'd discovered the talent: most people weren't sensitive enough to pick up on it, but when somebody did, especially female somebodies, it was an easy score. He'd catch someone who couldn't take her eyes off him and know he didn't have to do a damn thing to get laid except introduce himself. Sometimes not even that. It was great. For about a month.
->Then the drawbacks surfaced. He could never be certain a woman was genuinely interested in him or the vampire in him... which really wouldn't have made much difference except that [[AbhorrentAdmirer not all the women drawn to him were as easy-on-the-eyes]] as [[HotWitch Tammy]]. And jealous boyfriends and husbands abounded. Earl had been [[TraumaCongaLine shot, stabbed, dragged nine miles over rough road]], and one especially sour husband had even employed a chainsaw with admirable skill - [[GoodThingYouCanHeal none of which had seriously hurt Earl]], but few chicks were worth getting run through by a Black & Decker Three-Speed Lumber Master.
-->--''Literature/GilsAllFrightDiner''

->[[WithGreatPowerComesGreatResponsibility The power made us responsible]], see. Without the power, the knowledge would have just been a worm of fear eating up our insides. Bad enough. But it was the power that turned fear into obligation, that laid the weight on our unready shoulders.
->[[VoluntaryShapeshifting We could become any animal we touched]], the Andalite told us.
->Power enough to win? [[FailureHero No.]] Power enough to fight? Ah, yes. Just enough, little Jake, here is just enough power to [[HurtingHero imprison you in a cage of duty]], [[WarIsHell to make you fight]].
-->--''Literature/{{Animorphs}} - Megamorphs #4''

->''Damn this ability for spoiling my fun!''
-->--'''Curran''', ''[[VideoGame/DragaliaLost Dragalia Life]] [[https://comic.dragalialost.com/dragalialife/en/#detail/994 #236 - Electrifying Massages: The Return]]''

->''"I was hopping along, minding my own business, all of a sudden, up he comes, cures me! One minute I'm a leper with a trade, next minute my livelihood's gone. Not so much as a by-your-leave! "You're cured, mate." Bloody do-gooder."''
-->--'''The Ex-Leper''' on '''UsefulNotes/{{Jesus}}''' curing him, ''Film/MontyPythonsLifeOfBrian''

->This was a part of his power, those manifestations of his Spirit and Mind - with their help, [[TheOmniscient he saw everywhere]]. If anyone ever thought too much, it was [[TopGod the Old Man]], always alert, always scrutinizing the Worlds for the hint of a threat to his empire. It isolated him. It set him apart from the rest of the Aesir. It suited him to be that way, but I knew [[LonelyAtTheTop he was lonely]]. Power had taken its toll on him, and knowledge was eroding the rest. Perfect knowledges was what he'd craved, but with perfect knowledge, illusions die, including such perennials as friendship, love and loyalty.
->Think about it for a while. How can you hope to have any friends when you spy on everything they do? How can you enjoy the present when you can see the future? Most of all, how can you love when you know Death lies in waiting?

->''The power of ESP: one who has the power is destined for tragedy. ''
-->--''VideoGame/ESPRaDe''

->''Remember when I was just a crummy private investigator you hired to track that [[ComicBook/SpiderMan Parker kid]] and find out how he took his exclusive photos? Remember how you took me off that assignment, and paid me to be a guinea pig for a mad scientist's experiment? ''Remember?'' You wanted me to capture Spider-Man for you--but when I realized how ''strong'' I was, I knew I couldn't take orders from you--or ''anyone!'' But I didn't know ''then''--didn't realize that what I'd become--was ''for keeps!'' I can never lead a ''normal'' life--never feel the sun on my skin--never feel--never love--''all because of you!
-->--'''The Scorpion''', ''[[ComicBook/MsMarvel1977 Ms. Marvel]]'' Vol. 1 #1

->''"{{As you know}}, our ancestor Sun Yee had a mystical connection with red pandas. In fact, she loved them so much that she asked the gods to turn her into one. It was wartime, the men were all gone. Sun Yee was desperate for a way to protect herself and her daughters. Then one night, during a red moon, the gods granted her wish. They gave her the ability to harness her emotions, to transform into a powerful mystical beast. She was able to fend off bandits, protect her village, and save her family from ruin. Sun Yee passed this gift to her daughters, for when they came of age. And they passed it to theirs. But over time, our family chose to come to a new world, and what was a blessing became... an inconvenience.''"
-->--'''Ming Lee''' on Sun Yee's [[InvoluntaryShapeshifting red panda blessing]], ''WesternAnimation/TurningRed''

->''"{{As you know}}, our ancestor Sun Yee had a mystical connection with red pandas. In fact, she loved them so much that she asked the gods to turn her into one. It was wartime, the men were all gone. Sun Yee was desperate for a way to protect herself and her daughters. Then one night during a red moon, the gods granted her wish. They gave her the ability to harness her emotions, to transform into a powerful mystical beast. She was able to fend off bandits, protect her village, and save her family from ruin. Sun Yee passed this gift to her daughters, for when they came of age, and they passed it to theirs. But over time, our family chose to come to a new world, and what was a blessing became... an inconvenience.''"

->''"[[IllGirl I]] spent all morning in the hospital, injecting poison into my body, on purpose. Toxic chemicals designed to kill the cancer cells growing inside me. But as soon as I picked up the hammer, that was all for nothing. The transformation neutralizes the effects of the chemotherapy. It purges the poison from my body. But not the cancer. Because cancer is just another part of me now. A part that keeps getting bigger and is killing me a little bit more each time I change back."''

->Being a mage doesn't mean you're Superman. There's no guarantee of power or comfort with your newfound abilities. In fact, if you're [[BlueCollarWarlock an Orphan]], you've probably got no guarantees of anything at all. No slick [[TheResistance Tradition]]-toady extending you a chance at the holy war. No [[TheMan Technocracy]] brute making you an offer you can't refuse. You've probably never even heard of the [[SecretWar Ascension War]], and you've just as likely to have never heard of Ascension. You may not even have a word for what you are - and you may have no idea that there are others like you. In realizing the power you possess, you may have seared someone's head off with a bolt of electricity, or blow all the doors and windows out of an entire subway train, shrieking, bloody-eyed as the magick boiled through you and everyone surrounding you looked on in slack-jawed terror.

->Because seriously, nobody wants to be Franchise/{{Batman}}. Neal Stephenson [[Literature/SnowCrash observes the crux of the problem]]: 'Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker in the world. If I moved to a martial-arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Colombian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If I got a fatal disease, had one year to live, and devoted it to wiping out street crime. If I just dropped out and devoted my life to being bad.' The joke, of course, is that nobody does. Why? Because nobody wants a fatal disease, to move to a monastery in China, or, as is perhaps most applicable to Batman, to have their entire families wiped out. The price of ontological supremacy is just too high.

->I would sell one of my kids for the ability to fly, so a red nose is no big deal. Besides, the whole point of the Rudolph story is to take pride in the things that make you different...I bet it would fuck with my sleep, though. Like, if there's a big red light bulb between your eyes all night, your sleep cycle will probably be ruined. I might go cross-eyed and developed mania due to sleep deprivation. [[FridgeHorror Eventually, I would go mad, flying around with a knife and breaking through stranger's windows, terrorizing them in the dead of night. And then I would probably be shot to death]]. Still worth it, though!

->This strength, this power -— It's been like a curse. But I refuse to be a victim anymore!

->Damn this ability for spoiling my fun!

->The power of ESP: one who has the power is destined for tragedy.

->Remember when I was just a crummy private investigator you hired to track that [[ComicBook/SpiderMan Parker kid]] and find out how he took his exclusive photos? Remember how you took me off that assignment, and paid me to be a guinea pig for a mad scientist's experiment? ''Remember?'' You wanted me to capture Spider-Man for you--but when I realized how ''strong'' I was, I knew I couldn't take orders from you--or ''anyone!'' But I didn't know ''then''--didn't realize that what I'd become--was ''for keeps!'' I can never lead a ''normal'' life--never feel the sun on my skin--never feel--never love--''all because of you!''

-->-- '''Fix-It Felix Jr.''', ''WesternAnimation/WreckItRalph''[[note]]He was trying to break out of prison. Unfortunately, his attempts only ''repaired'' the cell.[[/note]]

-->-- '''ComicBook/JaneFoster''', ''ComicBook/Thor2014''

->Then the drawbacks surfaced. He could never be certain a woman was genuinely interested in him or the vampire in him... which really wouldn't have made much difference except that [[AbhorrentAdmirer not all the women drawn to him were as easy-on-the-eyes]] as [[HotWitch Tammy]]. And jealous boyfriends and husbands abounded. Earl had been [[TraumaCongaLine shot, stabbed, dragged nine miles over rough road]], and one especially sour husband had even [[ChainsawGood employed a chainsaw]] with admirable skill - [[GoodThingYouCanHeal none of which had seriously hurt Earl]], but few chicks were worth getting run through by a Black & Decker Three-Speed Lumber Master.

->''"[[IllGirl I]] spent all morning in the hospital, injecting poison into my body, on purpose. Toxic chemical designed to kill the cancer cells growing inside me. But as soon as I picked up the hammer, that was all for nothing. The transformation neutralizes the effects of the chemotherapy. It purges the poison from my body. But not the cancer. Because cancer is just another part of me now. A part that keeps getting bigger and is killing me a little bit more each time I change back."''

->'''Killgrave''': HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? Huh?! I never know if somebody's doing what they want, [[CompellingVoice or what I tell them to!]]\\
'''Jessica''': Oh, poor you.\\
'''Killgrave''': You have no idea. I have to ''paintakingly'' choose every word I say! I once told a man [[IWasJustJoking to go screw himself]], can you even imagine?

-->-- '''Fix-It Felix Jr.''', ''Disney/WreckItRalph''[[note]]He was trying to break out of prison. Unfortunately, his attempts only ''repaired'' the cell.[[/note]]

-->--''Gil's All Fright Diner'' by A. Lee Martinez

->He was not to realise it until many weeks later, but his physiology had indeed been changed by Sharon's [[ArtifactOfDoom malign magic]]. He could never be drunk, no matter how much he imbibed. His [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor wished-for sobriety]] was absolute. He could still have hangovers if he were to over-indulge alcoholically, but he would never again experience inebriation. But this grim revelation was in the future.
-->--''The Soddit''

->Then the drawbacks surfaced. He could never be certain a woman was genuinely interested in him or the vampire in him... which really wouldn't have made much difference except that [[AbhorrentAdmirer not all the women drawn to him were as easy-on-the-eyes]] as [[HotWitch Tammy]]. And jealous boyfriends and husbands abounded. Earl had been [[TraumaCongaLine shot, stabbed, dragged nine miles over rough road]], and one especially sour husband had even [[ChainsawGood employed a chainsaw]] with admirable skill - [[GoodThingYouCanHeal none of which had seriously hurt Earl]], but few chicks were worth getting run through by a Black & Deck Three-Speed Lumber Master.

-->-- '''[[http://projectnes.blogspot.com/2010/04/holy-ontological-narrative-concepts.html Phil Sandifer]]'''