History NotAlwaysRight / TropesAToF

23rd Mar '17 1:48:10 AM ubigamer68
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** In fact, almost everything under [[http://notalwaysright.com/category/cant-be-that-stupid "Extra Stupid"]] is filled with people who can't seem to grasp basic concepts like [[http://notalwaysright.com/h2slow-part-4/29946 "rain is wet"]] or [[http://notalwaysright.com/one-is-too-hot-one-is-too-cold-and-the-customer-is-not-right/29631 "ice is cold"]]. There are, as of this edit, over ''two hundred'' pages under the "Extra Stupid" tag, with five entries per page. That's over a ''thousand'' stories with that tag.

to:

** In fact, almost everything under [[http://notalwaysright.com/category/cant-be-that-stupid "Extra Stupid"]] is filled with people who can't seem to grasp basic concepts like [[http://notalwaysright.com/h2slow-part-4/29946 "rain is wet"]] or [[http://notalwaysright.com/one-is-too-hot-one-is-too-cold-and-the-customer-is-not-right/29631 "ice is cold"]]. There are, as of this edit, over ''two nearly ''four hundred'' pages under the "Extra Stupid" tag, with five entries per page. That's over a ''thousand'' almost ''two thousand'' stories with that tag.
23rd Mar '17 1:32:20 AM ubigamer68
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Added DiffLines:

** [[https://notalwaysright.com/playing-hardball-on-software/45322 This fine specimen]] thinks that Windows operating system is totally free, period. He got a copy from his government-employee friend, who illegally copied it from work (good luck convincing the customer that this was illegal, though). When he tried to install it himself, because the store he brought it to wouldn't work on an illegal copy, he ended up wrecking his entire computer.
13th Mar '17 12:27:12 PM S123
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** Played straight VS. Averted squares off [[http://notalwaysright.com/our-great-discrimination-part-3/39151 here]], where a lady tries to use religion to discriminate against a Muslim-American Catholic, who explodes on her with a massive ReasonYouSuckSpeech. Though the end of the story implies she was just a dime-store bigot using religion to justify herself, since she threatens a Japanese exchange student presumably working his way through college ([[LaserGuidedKarma which gets her arrested]]).

to:

** Played straight VS. Averted squares off [[http://notalwaysright.com/our-great-discrimination-part-3/39151 here]], where a lady tries to use religion to discriminate against a Muslim-American Catholic, man born of an Islamic family (who himself is not even Muslim, but Catholic), who explodes on her with a massive ReasonYouSuckSpeech. Though the end of the story implies she was just a dime-store bigot using religion to justify herself, since she threatens a Japanese exchange student presumably working his way through college ([[LaserGuidedKarma which gets her arrested]]).



** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-ham-handed-approach-to-religious-sensitivity/43657 Other religions are starting to get in on the act.]] A woman in clearly Islamic garb walks into a bakery and orders a ''ham and cheese'' sandwich. The cashier, [[GenreSavvy knowing Muslims can't eat pork]] asks her if she is, in fact, a Muslim as ham is made of pork. She flies into a rage and accuses the submitter [[AbominationAccusationAttack of being racist by questioning her religion]] and [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor demands that he get her the ham sandwich.]] Once she gets the sandwich and bites into it, she brings it back to the cashier [[InsaneTrollLogic demanding that he be fired for giving her the sandwich with pork that she ordered.]] When the manager arrives on the scene, and learns what's going on, she begins shouting at him in Arabic. He says something back to her in Arabic that causes her to turn red in embarrassment. What did he say?

to:

** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-ham-handed-approach-to-religious-sensitivity/43657 Other religions are starting to get in on the act.]] A woman in clearly Islamic garb walks into a bakery and orders a ''ham and cheese'' sandwich. The cashier, [[GenreSavvy knowing Muslims can't eat pork]] asks her if she is, in fact, a Muslim as ham is made of pork. She flies into a rage and accuses the submitter [[AbominationAccusationAttack of being racist by questioning her religion]] and [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor demands that he get her the ham sandwich.]] Once she gets the sandwich and bites into it, she brings it back to the cashier [[InsaneTrollLogic demanding that he be fired for giving her the sandwich with pork that she ordered.]] When the manager arrives on the scene, and learns what's going on, she begins shouting at him in Arabic. He says something back to her in Arabic that causes her to turn red in embarrassment.become very angry and storm out. What did he say?
5th Mar '17 10:30:30 AM Olafur
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Added DiffLines:

** [[https://notalwaysright.com/siamese-dont-please/53894 This crazy lady]] takes the trope to a WHOLE new level as she offers ridiculous amount of money for the poster's two cats and even FOLLOWS HER HOME in an attempt to get them from her! She did not get the cats.
28th Feb '17 10:36:52 PM InsanityPrelude
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* ArtisticLicenseLaw:
** Some customers start threatening lawsuits at the drop of a hat and, usually, under the most feeble of pretexts. [[http://notalwaysright.com/wearing-law-suits-will-get-you-law-suits/8689 Sometimes, just wearing a suit will make people think you're a lawyer]].
** Two people threatening to sue get owned [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-poser-by-any-other-name-part-2/8983 here]] and [[http://notalwaysright.com/he-fought-the-law-and-the-law-won/2115 here]]

to:

* ArtisticLicenseLaw:
**
ArtisticLicenseLaw: Some customers start threatening lawsuits at the drop of a hat and, usually, under the most feeble of pretexts. [[http://notalwaysright.com/wearing-law-suits-will-get-you-law-suits/8689 Sometimes, just wearing a suit will make people think you're a lawyer]].
** Two people threatening to sue get owned [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-poser-by-any-other-name-part-2/8983 here]] and [[http://notalwaysright.com/he-fought-the-law-and-the-law-won/2115 here]]
lawyer]].



*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/i-yam-not-impressed/27865 Potatoes will bruise apples]], even when the apples are above them. Lettuce on top is fair game, though.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-recognize-the-gravity-of-her-statement/28625 This customer]] thinks items weigh more when scrunched up than when they're looser. To compound her mistake, she uses the analogy of a ball of yarn weighing more when it's soaked in water than otherwise--true, but that's ''not'' because the water causes it to compact better, but because ''the weight of the water is added to the weight of the yarn''.
* AskAStupidQuestion: [[http://notalwaysright.com/some-questions-should-never-be-asked-part-2/779 The difference between girls and boys.]] One of the hardest questions known to man. Or not.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/ask-a-stupid-question-part-4/1220 What sort of time is nine feet anyway?]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/thats-assuming-if-a-woodchuck-could-chuck-wood/538 What's the conversion rate from dollars to woodchucks?]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-ones-cup-of-tea/36269 "Ugh! Who asked you, anyway?!" "Uh, YOU did."]]

to:

*** ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/i-yam-not-impressed/27865 Potatoes will bruise apples]], even when the apples are above them. Lettuce on top is fair game, though.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/doesnt-recognize-the-gravity-of-her-statement/28625 This customer]] thinks items weigh more when scrunched up than when they're looser. To compound her mistake, she uses the analogy of a ball of yarn weighing more when it's soaked in water than otherwise--true, but that's ''not'' because the water causes it to compact better, but because ''the the weight of the water is added to the weight of the yarn''.
* AskAStupidQuestion: [[http://notalwaysright.com/some-questions-should-never-be-asked-part-2/779 The difference between girls and boys.]] One of the hardest questions known to man. Or not.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/ask-a-stupid-question-part-4/1220 What sort of time is nine feet anyway?]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/thats-assuming-if-a-woodchuck-could-chuck-wood/538 What's the conversion rate from dollars to woodchucks?]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-ones-cup-of-tea/36269 "Ugh! Who asked you, anyway?!" "Uh, YOU did."]]
yarn.



* AttentionDeficitOohShiny: [[http://notalwaysright.com/customers-of-a-feather-flock-together/2237 Here.]] It may also count as HypocriticalHumor.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/invasion-of-the-spacey-wedding-guests/1386 Also here.]]



* AutoErotica: "[[http://notalwaysright.com/more-than-just-your-car-needs-cleaning/12571 I just really need to get my car sodomized.]]"

to:

* AutoErotica: A {{Malaproper}} gives this kind of impression, to the horror of the manager: "[[http://notalwaysright.com/more-than-just-your-car-needs-cleaning/12571 I just really need to get my car sodomized.]]"



* BaconAddiction: [[http://notalwaysright.com/with-great-bacon-comes-great-responsibility-part-12/34874 "Gotta have my bacon!"]]
* BadBoss: [[http://notalwaysright.com/we-need-one-of-these-in-every-store-part-2/998 No wonder his customers walked out on the guy.]]

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* BaconAddiction: [[http://notalwaysright.com/with-great-bacon-comes-great-responsibility-part-12/34874 "Gotta have my bacon!"]]
* BadBoss: [[http://notalwaysright.com/we-need-one-of-these-in-every-store-part-2/998 No wonder his customers walked out on the guy.]]
BadBoss:



** Website/NotAlwaysWorking is, in part, dedicated to them.

to:

** Website/NotAlwaysWorking is, in part, dedicated to them.examples of terrible bosses.



* BadassBookworm: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-cosplayer-is-always-right/22297 Cosplayers, but close enough.]]
*** BigDamnHeroes moment? Damn right!
* BadassBystander: [[http://notalwaysright.com/we-need-one-of-these-in-every-store/192 "UFC Jacket Guy"]], [[http://notalwaysright.com/weekend-roundup-customers-to-the-rescue/17726 amongst others]], including [[http://notalwaysright.com/needs-to-press-paws/29017 tiny, middle-aged Asian women]].



** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-good-ol-fashioned-a-whoopin-part-2/22335 "Bad kids always need a good kick in the butt!"]]



** Examples [[http://notalwaysright.com/thank-you-for-shopping-at-apocalypsemart/1191 here]], [[http://notalwaysright.com/eternal-dnation-pleasant-atmosphere/1592 here]], [[http://notalwaysright.com/you-look-nothing-like-your-ad/1441 here]], [[http://notalwaysright.com/just-another-day-at-work/1011 here]] and [[http://notalwaysright.com/thou-shalt-pay-on-time/4538 here]].
** Behold the power of [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-devil-to-pay/3391 bobble head Jesus!]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/hell-in-a-handbag/2394 This one is]] [[{{Pun}} outright criminal.]]
** Then there are the more benign, but still insane, ones like [[http://notalwaysright.com/never-fail-conversation-starters/2289 this person]], who is like the exact polar opposite of a young-earth creationist or something.

to:

** Examples [[http://notalwaysright.com/thank-you-for-shopping-at-apocalypsemart/1191 here]], [[http://notalwaysright.com/eternal-dnation-pleasant-atmosphere/1592 here]], [[http://notalwaysright.com/you-look-nothing-like-your-ad/1441 here]], [[http://notalwaysright.com/just-another-day-at-work/1011 here]] and [[http://notalwaysright.com/thou-shalt-pay-on-time/4538 here]].
** Behold the power of [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-devil-to-pay/3391 bobble head Jesus!]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/hell-in-a-handbag/2394 This one is]] [[{{Pun}} outright criminal.]]
** Then there are the more benign, but still insane, ones like [[http://notalwaysright.com/never-fail-conversation-starters/2289 this person]], who is like the exact polar opposite of a young-earth creationist or something.creationist.



** [[http://notalwaysright.com/needs-a-mass-reboot/9933 "Well, I think it's possessed and it needs an exorcism. Do you have any Catholic workers?"]]



** [[http://notalwaysright.com/casting-the-first-stone/12414 Let he who is without blame of his own...]]



** [[http://notalwaysright.com/cult-ivating-ignorance/24465 Real Christians don't worship Jesus!]]



* BenevolentBoss: Some show up, like [[http://notalwaysright.com/high-five-cents/10485 this one]], [[http://notalwaysright.com/thank-you-for-shopping-at-apocalypsemart this one]], or [[http://notalwaysright.com/even-bosses-have-a-stupid-quota-part-2/293 this one]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/saved-by-the-boss/3279 This one too.]]
** Actually, many of the managers included in these stories fall under this trope; those who don't usually end up on Website/NotAlwaysWorking.

to:

* BenevolentBoss: Some show up, like [[http://notalwaysright.com/high-five-cents/10485 this one]], [[http://notalwaysright.com/thank-you-for-shopping-at-apocalypsemart this one]], or [[http://notalwaysright.com/even-bosses-have-a-stupid-quota-part-2/293 this one]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/saved-by-the-boss/3279 This one too.]]
** Actually, many
Many of the managers included in these stories fall under this trope; trope by backing up their beleaguered employees; those who don't usually end up on Website/NotAlwaysWorking.Website/NotAlwaysWorking instead.



* BigDamnHeroes: Sometimes a [[BenevolentBoss boss]], sometimes a [[TrueCompanions coworker]], sometimes a [[HeroicBystander customer]].
** The customer saves the day in [[http://notalwaysright.com/needs-to-press-paws/29017 this story]].

to:

* BigDamnHeroes: Sometimes Many stories involve another person stepping in to stand up to particularly nasty customers, whether it be a [[BenevolentBoss boss]], sometimes a [[TrueCompanions coworker]], sometimes or even a [[HeroicBystander customer]].
** The customer saves the day in [[http://notalwaysright.com/needs-to-press-paws/29017 this story]].
fellow customer]].



** [[http://notalwaysright.com/eating-disorderly/7978 Please don't eat your receipt]].
* BigStupidDoodooHead: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-booger-inning-of-a-beautiful-friendship/28782 “I don't have to listen to you, you… you… booger face!”]]
* BilingualBackfire:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/cost-in-the-translation/4334 Here]], [[http://notalwaysright.com/cost-in-the-translation-part-2/4968 here]], [[http://notalwaysright.com/customers-should-watch-their-language-part-2/16048 here]], and [[http://notalwaysright.com/in-a-tsary-state/7328 this.]] BadassGrandpa indeed.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/parlez-vous-douchebag/19979 Here, too]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/to-conjugate-a-thief/20886 And here]], thwarting a theft attempt in the process, even!
** Gotta love how [[http://notalwaysright.com/seoul-much-for-that-brilliant-idea/22249 these guys]] get backfired ''twice''.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-moooo-sing-customers-part-2/22573 These kids]] thought that they could get away with insulting a Frenchman. Oops.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/honesty-is-the-sweetest-policy/23855 Here's another thwarted theft attempt]], but this time the kid helps out.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/going-from-bad-to-warsaw/27714 Another backfiring]], courtesy of a Polish speaker.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-round-he-lost-in-translation-part-2/28776 And another one]] involving the French language.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/getting-it-all-in-espanol-part-2/44142 A more harmless backfire]], but notable as not only does the subject of the remark understand, so does a nearby bartender, making this a ''double'' backfire!
* BinarySuns: [[http://notalwaysright.com/seeing-the-sun-in-a-whole-new-light/8926 Surprisingly enough]], our solar system doesn't have this feature.

to:

** [[http://notalwaysright.com/eating-disorderly/7978 Please don't eat your receipt]].
* BigStupidDoodooHead: [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-booger-inning-of-a-beautiful-friendship/28782 “I don't have to listen to you, you… you… booger face!”]]
* BilingualBackfire:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/cost-in-the-translation/4334 Here]], [[http://notalwaysright.com/cost-in-the-translation-part-2/4968 here]], [[http://notalwaysright.com/customers-should-watch-their-language-part-2/16048 here]], and [[http://notalwaysright.com/in-a-tsary-state/7328 this.]] BadassGrandpa indeed.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/parlez-vous-douchebag/19979 Here, too]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/to-conjugate-a-thief/20886 And here]], thwarting a theft attempt in the process, even!
** Gotta love how [[http://notalwaysright.com/seoul-much-for-that-brilliant-idea/22249 these guys]] get backfired ''twice''.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-moooo-sing-customers-part-2/22573 These kids]] thought that they could get away with insulting a Frenchman. Oops.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/honesty-is-the-sweetest-policy/23855 Here's another thwarted theft attempt]], but this time the kid helps out.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/going-from-bad-to-warsaw/27714 Another backfiring]], courtesy of a Polish speaker.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-round-he-lost-in-translation-part-2/28776 And another one]] involving the French language.
**
BilingualBackfire: [[http://notalwaysright.com/getting-it-all-in-espanol-part-2/44142 A more harmless backfire]], but notable as Happens twice over in one story]]: not only does the subject of the remark understand, so does a nearby bartender, making this a ''double'' backfire!
backfire.
* BinarySuns: [[http://notalwaysright.com/seeing-the-sun-in-a-whole-new-light/8926 Surprisingly enough]], our solar system doesn't have this feature.feature, to the dismay of a tourist who traveled to Norway to see the "midnight sun" but didn't quite understand what that meant.



* BlackWidow: [[http://notalwaysright.com/got-love-in-the-bank/13310 A passive and ultimately unsuccessful one]], but absolutely rotten person, all the same.



* BlasphemousBoast: [[http://notalwaysright.com/hey-mr-dj-put-my-record-on/30023 "I make more money than God!"]]



* BleepDammit: NSFW language in stories is censored, but not necessarily all of a compound word.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-waiting-blame-game/28601 The Waiting Blame Game]] and [[https://notalwaysright.com/going-from-negative-to-positive/28684 Going From Negative to Positive]] say "god-d***".
** It's not always consistent either: [[https://notalwaysright.com/putting-the-security-into-social-security/28770 Putting The Security Into Social Security]] says "ass-h***" but other stories say "a**hole".
*** The inconsistency is likely due to different submitters censoring profanities differently.
** The word "slut" is usually censored, but [[https://notalwaysright.com/daddy-doesnt-brat-an-eyelid/33348 Daddy Doesn't Brat An Eyelid]] doesn't bother for "slutty".
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/shoot-first-worry-about-living-later/2208 This story]] has two uses of "damn": one censored and the other uncensored.

to:

* BleepDammit: NSFW language in stories is censored, but not necessarily all of a compound word.
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/the-waiting-blame-game/28601 The Waiting Blame Game]]
word. Exactly what gets censored and [[https://notalwaysright.com/going-from-negative-to-positive/28684 Going From Negative to Positive]] say "god-d***".
** It's not always consistent either: [[https://notalwaysright.com/putting-the-security-into-social-security/28770 Putting The Security Into Social Security]] says
how (e.g. "ass-h***" but other stories say "a**hole".
*** The inconsistency is likely
versus "a**hole") varies, due to the number of different submitters censoring profanities differently.
** The word "slut" is usually censored, but [[https://notalwaysright.com/daddy-doesnt-brat-an-eyelid/33348 Daddy Doesn't Brat An Eyelid]] doesn't bother for "slutty".
** [[https://notalwaysright.com/shoot-first-worry-about-living-later/2208 This story]] has two uses of "damn": one censored and the other uncensored.
submitters' styles.



** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/bust-a-gut-laughing/37964 Tapeworm is my culpa!]]"
* BlindMistake:
** An [[http://notalwaysright.com/eyesight-only-as-good-as-hindsight/13821 innocent version]].
** An [[http://notalwaysright.com/buy-a-50n1-next-time/28607 even more innocent version]], quickly cured by the customer [[BlindWithoutEm putting his glasses on]].
** A [[http://notalwaysright.com/eyesight-only-as-good-as-hindsight-part-2/14157 destructive, ignorant version]].
** Another [[https://notalwaysright.com/o-b-g-y-n/61104 innocent one]], although slightly embarrassing for the guy who made the mistake.
* BluffTheImpostor:
** How [[http://notalwaysright.com/how-to-scam-a-scammer-part-3/242 one scammer]] gets caught.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/lying-is-all-relatives/29219 And this guy]].



* BookDumb: [[http://notalwaysright.com/warning-movie-may-require-brain-cells/885 Because subtitles are too hard for the average customer.]]
** A rather extreme case here. [[http://notalwaysright.com/there-must-be-something-in-the-water/5204 "What's dumbing down?"]]



* BrandNameTakeover: [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-lack-of-branding-understanding-part-2/40283 "By 'Coke' I meant 'soda!'"]][[note]]TruthInTelevision for parts of the American South, especially the Atlanta area.[[/note]]
* BrainBleach: [[http://notalwaysright.com/please-set-your-phone-to-jiggle/20252 For the sake of everyone around you, please remember where you put your phone.]]

to:

* BrandNameTakeover: [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-lack-of-branding-understanding-part-2/40283 "By 'Coke' I meant 'soda!'"]][[note]]TruthInTelevision for 'soda!'" This is actually [[TruthInTelevision a regular part of the dialect]] in parts of the American South, especially the Atlanta area.[[/note]]
* BrainBleach: [[http://notalwaysright.com/please-set-your-phone-to-jiggle/20252 For the sake of everyone around you, please remember where you put your phone.]]
28th Feb '17 7:10:57 PM InsanityPrelude
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* ActionGirl: [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-well-defend/21969 multiple]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/r-e-s-p-e-c-t/22119 examples]].
* ActionMom: [[http://notalwaysright.com/hell-hath-no-fury-like-a-mother-scorned/23092 You will not insult this mommy.]]
* ActuallyPrettyFunny:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/i-came-i-complained-i-became-an-employee/1884 "Oh... that was good."]]
** Occasionally, a prank on a telemarketer will get the telemarketer laughing. Such as when [[http://notalwaysright.com/sends-you-a-kiss-by-wire/36508 this customer]] goes all [[WesternAnimation/OneFroggyEvening Michigan J. Frog]] on the telemarketer.
* AdaptationDisplacement: [[invoked]]Perhaps the second customer said it best: [[http://notalwaysright.com/re-vamping-dracula/4077 "I hate Hollywood."]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/ordering-pizza-talking-baloney/6793 Now with pizza]].
* AddedAlliterativeAppeal: [[http://notalwaysright.com/ruh-roh-retroactive-rewards-rage/2754 Ruh Roh, Retroactive Rewards Rage]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/posted-picky-procrastinator-prefers-plethora-of-paraphrenalia/890 Posted: Picky Procrastinator Prefers Plethora of Paraphernalia]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/putting-pickles-before-people-will-put-you-in-a-pickle/25942 Putting Pickles Before People will Put You In A Pickle]]

to:

* ActionGirl: [[http://notalwaysright.com/this-well-defend/21969 multiple]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/r-e-s-p-e-c-t/22119 examples]].
* ActionMom: [[http://notalwaysright.com/hell-hath-no-fury-like-a-mother-scorned/23092 You will not insult this mommy.]]
* ActuallyPrettyFunny:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/i-came-i-complained-i-became-an-employee/1884 "Oh... that was good."]]
**
ActuallyPrettyFunny: Occasionally, a prank on a telemarketer will get the telemarketer laughing. Such as when [[http://notalwaysright.com/sends-you-a-kiss-by-wire/36508 this customer]] goes all [[WesternAnimation/OneFroggyEvening Michigan J. Frog]] on the telemarketer.
* AdaptationDisplacement: [[invoked]]Perhaps the second customer said it best: [[http://notalwaysright.com/re-vamping-dracula/4077 "I hate Hollywood."]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/ordering-pizza-talking-baloney/6793 Now with pizza]].
* AddedAlliterativeAppeal: [[http://notalwaysright.Used in the titles of many stories on the site, such as "[[http://notalwaysright.com/ruh-roh-retroactive-rewards-rage/2754 Ruh Roh, Retroactive Rewards Rage]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.
Rage]]", "[[http://notalwaysright.com/posted-picky-procrastinator-prefers-plethora-of-paraphrenalia/890 Posted: Picky Procrastinator Prefers Plethora of Paraphernalia]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.
Paraphernalia]]", and "[[http://notalwaysright.com/putting-pickles-before-people-will-put-you-in-a-pickle/25942 Putting Pickles Before People will Put You In A Pickle]]Pickle]]".



* AGodAmI: "[[http://notalwaysright.com/buuuurn/883 I'm the Messiah!]]" "[[DeadpanSnarker Wow. The Jews are in for a big disappointment.]]"



* AllAnimalsAreDomesticated: [[http://notalwaysright.com/unbearably-bad-ideas/1875 "Can we send our kids to play with the bears?"]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/tricky-customers-are-just-killer/3872 So when do you feed them?]]
* AllBalloonsHaveHelium: [[http://notalwaysright.com/its-a-miracle-shes-still-on-the-ground/1847 "Look, it says on the packet, 'Helium Balloons'."]]
* AllMenArePerverts:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/please-do-not-creep-out-the-employees/2089 As seen here]].
** ''[[http://notalwaysright.com/definitely-not-right/999 This]] story has a woman trying using IHaveBoobsYouMustObey and failed [[EpicFail hard]] due to the guy being gay. So, what she does is shout out ridiculous and contradictory insults in the hope that [[RefugeInAudacity he'll be speechless long enough for her to run away from that rather embarrassing situation.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/18-and-blunder/2534 You'd think he'd have caught on sooner.]]
*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/needs-to-learn-copy-right-and-wrong/27909 Same here.]]
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/hopefully-they-didnt-fly-because-someones-walking-home/859 He ordered porn. We’re at a romantic getaway and he orders porn!]]"
* AllWomenAreLustful: [[http://notalwaysright.com/sadly-this-amounts-to-a-sex-life/2312 Who actually cares about the sexual content of a zombie film?]]
* AlphaBitch:
** Probably [[http://notalwaysright.com/snobbery-just-wont-cut-it/11953 this woman.]] Being beautiful does not allow you to ignore punctuality.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/why-we-cant-have-nice-things/1533 This lady here too,]] who feels than being rich gives you the right to steal coffee. And tea. And roses.
** In fact, almost any example where a customer calls an employee (or another customer) ugly can count.

to:

* AllAnimalsAreDomesticated: [[http://notalwaysright.com/unbearably-bad-ideas/1875 "Can we send our kids to play with the bears?"]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/tricky-customers-are-just-killer/3872 So when do you feed them?]]
* AllBalloonsHaveHelium: [[http://notalwaysright.com/its-a-miracle-shes-still-on-the-ground/1847 "Look, it says on the packet, 'Helium Balloons'."]]
* AllMenArePerverts:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/please-do-not-creep-out-the-employees/2089 As seen here]].
**
AllMenArePerverts: ''[[http://notalwaysright.com/definitely-not-right/999 This]] story has a woman trying using IHaveBoobsYouMustObey and failed [[EpicFail hard]] due to the guy being gay. So, what she does is shout out ridiculous and contradictory insults in the hope that [[RefugeInAudacity he'll be speechless long enough for her to run away from that rather embarrassing situation.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/18-and-blunder/2534 You'd think he'd have caught on sooner.]]
*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/needs-to-learn-copy-right-and-wrong/27909 Same here.]]
** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/hopefully-they-didnt-fly-because-someones-walking-home/859 He ordered porn. We’re at a romantic getaway and he orders porn!]]"
* AllWomenAreLustful: [[http://notalwaysright.com/sadly-this-amounts-to-a-sex-life/2312 Who actually cares about the sexual content of a zombie film?]]
* AlphaBitch:
** Probably [[http://notalwaysright.com/snobbery-just-wont-cut-it/11953 this woman.]] Being beautiful does not allow you to ignore punctuality.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/why-we-cant-have-nice-things/1533 This lady here too,]]
film?]] At least one person, who feels than being rich gives you declared "We're seeing this!" when informed the right to steal coffee. And tea. And roses.
** In fact, almost any example where a customer calls an employee (or another customer) ugly can count.
movie contained male nudity.



* AmazinglyEmbarrassingParents: [[http://notalwaysright.com/ah-mothers-part-2/1867 Lots]] of [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-terrors-of-terminology/15095 them]], although [[http://notalwaysright.com/ah-mothers/1234 sometimes they're just helping the kid along]].
** Luckily for us, [[http://notalwaysright.com/cutty-out-the-attitude/3245 some]] of them can [[http://notalwaysright.com/pointing-out-the-obvious/13341 see the obvious]] and have matters [[http://notalwaysright.com/whos-teaching-who-manners/13363 in hand]]. As opposed to, say, [[http://notalwaysright.com/can-i-have-some-nuts-with-that/8029 in a tree]]. But [[http://notalwaysright.com/try-not-to-read-too-much-into-it/6423 don't bet on this]].
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/itll-go-away-if-youre-belieber/15032 They'll save you, little fangirl!]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/of-dirty-mouths-and-dirtier-assumptions/14891 From the gum, too]].



* AmbulanceChaser:
** Inverted [[http://notalwaysright.com/it-turns-out-you-can-be-too-safe/2001 here]], with a man calling his lawyer ''before'' calling an ambulance.
** There's no lawyer involved, but this seems to be the attitude of [[http://notalwaysright.com/un-sue-table-parenting/26776 this mom]].
* AndADietCoke: [[http://notalwaysright.com/weight-watchers-rejects-2/939 I don't want a cherry though, they're fattening.]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-seeing-the-forest-for-the-greasy-trees/5069 Lemme have a Diet Coke. A small one. I'm trying to watch my weight.]]
** Variant: [[http://notalwaysright.com/deeply-fried-and-deeply-mistaken/34671 "You see, my grandkids love it when I make deep-fried Oreos, and I wanted to get the sugar-free kind because they’re healthier to deep-fry than the regular kind."]]
** Another variant, where [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-lie-to-yourself-diet/38328 this customer]] orders a veggie pizza because she's on a diet... but then asks them to hold all the actual vegetarian ingredients and add various meats.
* AndNinetyNineCents: [[http://notalwaysright.com/beware-the-nines-of-merch/2239 Discussed.]] The nines are SeriousBusiness.
* {{Angrish}}: [[http://notalwaysright.com/and-here-we-see-the-customer-in-his-native-habitat/848 Awwharhaghhsss!]]

to:

* AmbulanceChaser:
**
AmbulanceChaser: Inverted [[http://notalwaysright.com/it-turns-out-you-can-be-too-safe/2001 here]], with a man calling his lawyer ''before'' calling an ambulance.
** There's no lawyer involved, but this seems to be the attitude of [[http://notalwaysright.com/un-sue-table-parenting/26776 this mom]].
* AndADietCoke: [[http://notalwaysright.com/weight-watchers-rejects-2/939 I don't want a cherry though, they're fattening.]]
AndADietCoke:
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/not-seeing-the-forest-for-the-greasy-trees/5069 Lemme have a Diet Coke. A small one. I'm trying to watch my weight.]]
** Variant: [[http://notalwaysright.
com/deeply-fried-and-deeply-mistaken/34671 "You see, my grandkids love it when I make deep-fried Oreos, and I wanted to get the sugar-free kind because they’re healthier to deep-fry than the regular kind."]]
** Another variant, where [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-lie-to-yourself-diet/38328 this This customer]] orders a veggie pizza because she's on a diet... but then asks them to hold all the actual vegetarian ingredients and add various meats.
* AndNinetyNineCents: [[http://notalwaysright.com/beware-the-nines-of-merch/2239 Discussed.]] The nines are SeriousBusiness.
* {{Angrish}}: [[http://notalwaysright.com/and-here-we-see-the-customer-in-his-native-habitat/848 Awwharhaghhsss!]]
meats.



* AntiPoopsocking: "[[http://notalwaysright.com/winding-down-on-dialing-up/8539 Can you shut my internet off for four hours?]]"



* AristocratsAreEvil: [[https://notalwaysright.com/not-people-person-2/51511 This person]] tries to invoke it so often, the staff has taken to calling her "her royal highness."

to:

* AristocratsAreEvil: [[https://notalwaysright.com/not-people-person-2/51511 This person]] tries is so rude and bossy to invoke it so often, the staff has staff, they've taken to calling her "her royal highness."



* ArtisticLicenseBiology: [[CitySlicker Some of these]] clearly either are Extraterrestrial or live in cartoons. [[http://notalwaysright.com/nip-picking/7834 Seriously]], [[http://notalwaysright.com/what-what-its-a-butt/9845 where]] on [[http://notalwaysright.com/must-have-lymphed-their-way-through-biology/8235 Earth]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/is-that-a-tumor-in-your-pocket/1351 did]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/natural-selection-in-action-part-2/975 these]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/how-about-a-chia-pet-instead/3219 people]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/they-grow-up-so-fast/1154 grow]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/stuffed-animals-training-wheels-for-the-stupid/1188 up]]?
** This is a ''[[http://notalwaysright.com/digging-your-tree-out-of-a-hole/2514 massive]]'' understatement.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-bit-grey-with-anatomy/5761 "Yeah, but even if he lost one leg, he's still got two feet, right?"]]

to:

* ArtisticLicenseBiology: [[CitySlicker Some of these]] clearly either are Extraterrestrial or live in cartoons. [[http://notalwaysright.com/nip-picking/7834 Seriously]], [[http://notalwaysright.com/what-what-its-a-butt/9845 where]] on [[http://notalwaysright.com/must-have-lymphed-their-way-through-biology/8235 Earth]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/is-that-a-tumor-in-your-pocket/1351 did]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/natural-selection-in-action-part-2/975 these]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/how-about-a-chia-pet-instead/3219 people]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/they-grow-up-so-fast/1154 grow]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/stuffed-animals-training-wheels-for-the-stupid/1188 up]]?
** This is a ''[[http://notalwaysright.com/digging-your-tree-out-of-a-hole/2514 massive]]'' understatement.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-bit-grey-with-anatomy/5761 "Yeah, but even if he lost one leg, he's still got two feet, right?"]]
Many stories feature people who just don't quite get how nature works.



** [[http://notalwaysright.com/like-a-fish-out-of-water/6568 All]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/wet-the-appetite/7160 this]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/fish-dont-need-air-and-you-dont-need-water/14247 Terran]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/bird-brained-part-7/7277 fish]] is [[http://notalwaysright.com/unnatural-selection/13831 so]] [[http://notalwaysright.com/somebody-took-an-evolutionary-detour/16854 enigmatic]]!
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/the-elephant-in-the-room/17752 An elephant repellent]]. You'll need it.
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/getting-to-the-meat-of-the-issue/17122 Where does the meat come from]], anyway?



** [[http://notalwaysright.com/tried-explaining-until-the-cows-came-home/39067 What is a cow?]]



** [[http://notalwaysright.com/more-than-just-a-pet-hate/46959 This one]] is a truly horrific case of animal abuse. The woman in the story who brought her pet to be spayed, insists that the clinic ''should not use anesthesia'' and instead simply hold down the poor animal while the reproductive organs are surgically removed. Performing a TitleDrop in the process. Simply because she was awake during her C section, and thinks that a hysterectomy (which is the closest human equivalent to the spaying procedure) is no big deal despite the submitter outright asking her if '''she''' wold like being held down and getting one without anesthesia. She even stormed out without paying the visit fee.

to:

** [[http://notalwaysright.com/more-than-just-a-pet-hate/46959 This one]] is a truly horrific case of animal abuse. The one where]] a woman in the story who brought bringing her pet to be spayed, spayed insists that the clinic ''should not use anesthesia'' and instead simply hold down the poor animal while the reproductive organs are surgically removed. Performing a TitleDrop in the process. Simply removed... because she was awake during for her C section, C-section, and thinks that a hysterectomy (which is that's the closest human equivalent to the spaying procedure) is no big deal despite the submitter outright asking her if '''she''' wold like being held down and getting one without anesthesia. She even stormed out without paying the visit fee.same thing, isn't it?



** Several customers assume that WeAllLiveInAmerica. They are wrong. [[http://notalwaysright.com/out-of-state-out-of-mind/3367 "But... isn't Europe part of the US?"]]
** Some customers take this to extreme levels. The conversations they have with various cashiers and salespeople seems to imply that they are unaware that other nations besides the United States exist.
*** [[https://notalwaysright.com/lone-star-state-one-country-state-of-mind/25172 This woman]] believes that, since Ohio isn't in Austin (Texas), it must be overseas.
** There are enough examples of Americans being ignorant about the rest of the world that listing them all would take too long...[[http://notalwaysright.com/the-fourth-is-not-strong-with-this-one/3386 so here's an example of the opposite.]]
*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/yukon-see-it-on-a-map-part-2/4609 This guy seems to be under the impression that Illinois is a Canadian province.]]
** Quite a few seem to involve Americans across the border in Canada who are a bit surprised to learn that it isn't ''exactly'' like home.
*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/one-nation-under-god-period/5354 This]] poor, geographically deluded soul.
*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/its-all-dutch-to-me/5808 This]] guy, on the other hand, manages to make the distinction between Canada and the US. But not between Canada and the Netherlands.
*** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/canada-americas-hat-part-7/31619 CANADA IS PART OF THE UNITED STATES; YOU’RE ALL JUST IN DENIAL!]]" Bizarrely, the person making ''this'' claim is ''not'' from the U.S., nor even Canada, but ''New Zealand''.
*** [[http://notalwaysright.com/french-disconnection/34669 And again:]] an ignorant JerkAss makes the assumption that since a travel brochure for visiting Quebec was in English, that means it and the rest of Canada are part of America and the people there should be speaking "American" at all times, [[ItsAllAboutMe solely for his convenience]].

to:

** Several Many customers assume that WeAllLiveInAmerica. They are wrong.WeAllLiveInAmerica, or even appear to be unaware that other countries exist. [[http://notalwaysright.com/out-of-state-out-of-mind/3367 "But... isn't Europe part of the US?"]]
** Some customers take this to extreme levels. The conversations they have with various cashiers and salespeople seems to imply that they are unaware that other nations besides the United States exist.
***
[[https://notalwaysright.com/lone-star-state-one-country-state-of-mind/25172 This woman]] believes that, that since Ohio isn't in Austin (Texas), it must be overseas.
** There are enough examples of Americans being ignorant about the rest of the world that listing them all would take too long...[[http://notalwaysright.com/the-fourth-is-not-strong-with-this-one/3386 so here's an example of the opposite.]]
*** [[http://notalwaysright.
com/yukon-see-it-on-a-map-part-2/4609 This guy seems to be under the impression that Illinois is a Canadian province.]]
** Quite a few seem to stories involve Americans across the border in Canada who are a bit surprised to learn that it isn't ''exactly'' like home.
*** ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/one-nation-under-god-period/5354 This]] poor, geographically deluded soul.
*** [[http://notalwaysright.
com/its-all-dutch-to-me/5808 This]] guy, on the other hand, manages to make the distinction between Canada and the US. But not between Canada and the Netherlands.
*** ** "[[http://notalwaysright.com/canada-americas-hat-part-7/31619 CANADA IS PART OF THE UNITED STATES; YOU’RE ALL JUST IN DENIAL!]]" Bizarrely, the person making ''this'' claim is ''not'' from the U.S., nor even Canada, but ''New Zealand''.
*** ** [[http://notalwaysright.com/french-disconnection/34669 And again:]] an This ignorant JerkAss traveler]] makes the assumption that since a travel brochure for visiting Quebec was in English, that means it and the rest of Canada are part of America and the people there should be speaking "American" at all times, [[ItsAllAboutMe solely for his convenience]].



** And then, there are cases where Americans ''don't'' assume other countries are like their own...but get ''other'' facts wrong. [[http://notalwaysright.com/first-ocean-to-the-right-then-straight-on-til-drowning/1823 This one]] is especially [[TVTropesDrinkingGame egregious]].



*** Let's reiterate: [[http://notalwaysright.com/no-vocation-for-location-part-4/24409 "The US is a big country, sir."]]
** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-state-of-mindlessness-part-3/12906 This woman]] seems to be in total ignorance of state locations, cardinal directions, and linguistics. Also counts as HypocriticalHumor.



** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-whale-of-a-story-2/22165 Who cares if Utah is landlocked]]; taunting an officer of the law about whaling is WRONG!

to:

** [[http://notalwaysright.com/a-whale-of-a-story-2/22165 Who cares if Utah is landlocked]]; taunting an officer of the law about whaling is WRONG!WRONG, according to this eavesdropping customer.
21st Feb '17 12:30:38 PM Harem-author
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* FemaleMisogynist: [[https://notalwaysright.com/customer-dealt-marvellously/63639 In this story,]] an inattentive female customer, who was spending so much time talking on her cell phone, paying no attention to the employee, decides he ''has to serve her right then and there'', despite the fact that the employee is coming to the aid of a coworker who is being sexually harassed, and when informed of this, immediately determines [[VictimBlaming that the female coworker did something to provoke the harassment.]] [[MuggingTheMonster The owner, who happened to be another customer at that point, gloriously calls her out ]][[ScrewTheRulesIHaveCorrections threatens to call "corporate."]]

to:

* FemaleMisogynist: [[https://notalwaysright.com/customer-dealt-marvellously/63639 In this story,]] an inattentive female customer, who was spending so much time talking on her cell phone, paying no attention to the employee, decides he ''has to serve her right then and there'', despite the fact that the employee is coming to the aid of a coworker who is being sexually harassed, and when informed of this, immediately determines [[VictimBlaming that the female coworker did something to provoke the harassment.]] [[MuggingTheMonster The owner, who happened to be another customer at that point, gloriously calls her out ]][[ScrewTheRulesIHaveCorrections ]][[ScrewTheRulesIHaveConnections when she threatens to call "corporate."]]
21st Feb '17 12:26:56 PM Harem-author
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* {{Fetish}}: [[http://notalwaysright.com/eggs-milk-bondage-gear/1453 "Just getting the necessities, y'know?"]] May also qualify as BreadEggsMilkSquick.

to:

* FemaleMisogynist: [[https://notalwaysright.com/customer-dealt-marvellously/63639 In this story,]] an inattentive female customer, who was spending so much time talking on her cell phone, paying no attention to the employee, decides he ''has to serve her right then and there'', despite the fact that the employee is coming to the aid of a coworker who is being sexually harassed, and when informed of this, immediately determines [[VictimBlaming that the female coworker did something to provoke the harassment.]] [[MuggingTheMonster The owner, who happened to be another customer at that point, gloriously calls her out ]][[ScrewTheRulesIHaveCorrections threatens to call "corporate."]]
* {{Fetish}}: [[http://notalwaysright.com/eggs-milk-bondage-gear/1453 "Just getting the necessities, y'know?"]] May also qualify as BreadEggsMilkSquick.
12th Feb '17 9:19:39 PM GuyYouMetOnline
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Added DiffLines:

*** The inconsistency is likely due to different submitters censoring profanities differently.
10th Feb '17 11:07:37 AM Berrenta
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Added DiffLines:

* ByNoIMeanYes: All the time.
** Frequently literal variations, such as a [[http://notalwaysright.com/cant-spell-without-without-with/14160 bacon cheeseburger with no bacon]], but not a cheeseburger which becomes the same bacon cheeseburger upon adding, you guessed that, bacon. Frequently a PyrrhicVictory for the customer as well, as the typical customer's "cashier is always trying to cheat me" attitude makes them blind to the above logic and they insist on paying for the more expensive thing without including the ingredients that ''make'' it more expensive.
** A subversion: [[http://notalwaysright.com/they-are-tea-total-part-2/28075 An iced coffee without the coffee]] is ''not'' milk and ice, but milk, ice, and ''tea''.
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