History Main / WorstNewsJudgmentEver

9th Dec '17 6:34:33 PM Malady
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* WebVideo/JonTron suggests that this is why there's a disproportionately high amount of [[TitanicTheLegendGoesOn Italian-animated films]] [[WesternAnimation/TheLegendOfTheTitanic about the Titanic]] featuring talking mice.

to:

* WebVideo/JonTron suggests that this is why there's a disproportionately high amount of [[TitanicTheLegendGoesOn [[WesternAnimation/TitanicTheLegendGoesOn Italian-animated films]] [[WesternAnimation/TheLegendOfTheTitanic about the Titanic]] featuring talking mice.



-->'''Newspaper:''' "Student Defends Bicycle Ordinance."
-->'''Kevin:''' "On slowest news day in history."

to:

-->'''Newspaper:''' "Student Defends Bicycle Ordinance."
-->'''Kevin:'''
"\\
'''Kevin:'''
"On slowest news day in history."
25th Nov '17 10:19:15 AM Prfnoff
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* In ''Film/WillSuccessSpoilRockHunter'', a kiss between Rita Marlowe (who ''is'' a Hollywood celebrity) and Rock "Lover Doll" Hunter (still not used to the fame he caught from Miss Marlowe) makes headlines around the world in a montage. LampshadeHanging occurs with the headlines from foreign newspapers dissolving to "RUSSIA INVENTED LOVER DOLL" and "LOVER DOLL MUST BE FRENCH!"
13th Nov '17 9:10:16 AM BobTanaka
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* In the ''Podcast/{{Rifftrax}}'' short ''Overcoming Fear'', the lead character proudly carries around a stack of newspapers where the front story is his in-class defense of a new bicycle regulation.
-->'''Newspaper:''' "Student Defends Bicycle Ordinance."
-->'''Kevin:''' "On slowest news day in history."
8th Nov '17 3:28:10 PM BillWoods
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* In an ''ComicBook/AmbushBug'' letter column, a reader suggested that the Daily Planet couldn't be such a great metropolitan newspaper if it kept running headlines like "SUPERMAN FOILS ALIEN GORILLA HOAX -- Presidential election results on page 32."

to:

* In an ''ComicBook/AmbushBug'' letter column, a reader suggested that the Daily Planet ''Daily Planet'' couldn't be such a great metropolitan newspaper if it kept running headlines like "SUPERMAN FOILS ALIEN GORILLA HOAX -- Presidential election results on page 32."



-->'''Agent K''': Best investigative reporting on the planet. But go ahead, read the New York Times if you want. They get lucky sometimes.

to:

-->'''Agent K''': Best investigative reporting on the planet. But go ahead, read the ''The New York Times Times'' if you want. They get lucky sometimes.



** In another Weekend Update sketch, one host began to read about the story of the death of Pope JohnPaul, only to toss away the news brief he was reading on because he thought the story was from briefs from last month[[note]]John Paul died within in a month of becoming Pope. The joke of course being that the news had covered the events surrounding his ascent so toughly, he thought it was some attempt to breath new life into the story. Made even funnier, as his successor would become the second longest living Pope in the history of the church.]].

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** In another Weekend Update sketch, one host began to read about the story of the death of Pope JohnPaul, [[UsefulNotes/ThePope John Paul]], only to toss away the news brief he was reading on because he thought the story was from briefs from last month[[note]]John month.[[note]]John Paul '''I''' died within in a month of becoming Pope. The joke of course being that the news had covered the events surrounding his ascent so toughly, he thought it was some attempt to breath new life into the story. Made even funnier, as his successor successor, John Paul II, would become the second longest living Pope pope in the history of the church.]].[[/note]]



Two hundred words. That's a lot of words. I mean, relatively, I guess it isn't - War and Peace was a lot of words. At least three hundred, definitely. But in a world where a headline like "Man eaten alive by giant ape monster" doesn't warrant much more than a shrug, it's hard to find two hundred words worth of news that will actually excite people.
* ''VideoGame/{{Drakensang}} 2: River of Time'' plays with this: there is a newspaper boy in Nadoret, the main city in the game, selling both the local paper and the all-Aventurian paper. The loal paper contains one article each, mentioning recent events in the game, while the 'big' paper gives a historical overview, but is more window-dressing, containing little that is relevant to the game.
** ''Woman kisses toad - yuck!''

to:

Two hundred words. That's a lot of words. I mean, relatively, I guess it isn't - War -- ''War and Peace Peace'' was a lot of words. At least three hundred, definitely. But in a world where a headline like "Man eaten alive by giant ape monster" doesn't warrant much more than a shrug, it's hard to find two hundred words worth of news that will actually excite people.
* ''VideoGame/{{Drakensang}} 2: River of Time'' plays with this: there is a newspaper boy in Nadoret, the main city in the game, selling both the local paper and the all-Aventurian paper. The loal local paper contains one article each, mentioning recent events in the game, while the 'big' paper gives a historical overview, but is more window-dressing, containing little that is relevant to the game.
** ''Woman kisses toad - -- yuck!''



* ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'''.

to:

* ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'''.''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}''.



** In the episode "A Clockwork Origin", we see a copy of a "USB Today" newspaper citing its top story as "Trial of the Century. Carbon-based life form accused of Creationism." The less emphasized story? "Carbon-based life discovered."
** "Roswell That Ends Well" has the Planet Express crew sent back in time to 1947 Roswell. Leela grabs a newspaper -
--> '''Leela''': "Take a look at this!"
--> '''Bender''': "'High School Gym Renovations On Schedule'? What a load!"

to:

** In the episode "A Clockwork Origin", we see a copy of a "USB Today" ''USB Today'' newspaper citing its top story as "Trial of the Century. Carbon-based life form accused of Creationism." The less emphasized story? "Carbon-based life discovered."
** "Roswell That Ends Well" has the Planet Express ''Planet Express'' crew sent back in time to 1947 Roswell. Leela grabs a newspaper -
newspaper:
--> '''Leela''': "Take Take a look at this!"
this!
--> '''Bender''': "'High 'High School Gym Renovations On Schedule'? What a load!"load!
21st Sep '17 8:03:25 PM Fretless94
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* WebVideo/JonTron suggests that this is why there's a disproportionately high amount of [[TitanicTheLegendGoesOn Italian-animated films]] [[WesternAnimation/TheLegendOfTheTitanic about the Titanic]] featuring talking mice.
-->'''Jon:''' But this isn't even the only Italian-animated Titanic film that [[PunctuatedForEmphasis features. Talking. Mice.]] The other being called ''The Legend of the Titanic'', ''The LEGEND of the Titanic''. Did Italy just miss the news that day? Was that the day the world's biggest meatball was made, and the Titanic sinking was just a footnote right at the bottom?
14th Sep '17 1:30:33 PM ironballs16
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** This explored and given an InUniverse justification in "Britney's New Look", where [[spoiler: the public ''wants'' celebrities to be DrivenToSuicide for reasons similar to ''Literature/TheLottery''.]]
31st Jul '17 6:57:47 AM RedScharlach
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* Low-budget D-movie ''Film/{{Maneater}}'' is downright hilarious with this. At one point, it's revealed that USA Today and Entertainment Weekly are interested in a tiger killing some people in the Appalachian Mountains. The sense that doesn't make is extraordinary.

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* Low-budget D-movie ''Film/{{Maneater}}'' is downright hilarious with this. At one point, it's revealed that USA Today ''USA Today'' and Entertainment Weekly ''Entertainment Weekly'' are interested in a tiger killing some people in the Appalachian Mountains. The sense that doesn't make is extraordinary.



* Apparently, in the Film/{{Zombi|2}}verse (as seen in ''Film/Zombi3D''), reports of the ongoing zombie problem are more important for a music station to broadcast than is actual music.

to:

* Apparently, in the Film/{{Zombi|2}}verse (as seen in ''Film/Zombi3D''), reports of the ongoing zombie problem are more important for a music station to broadcast than is actual music.



** "Ladies and gentlemen, we have an urgent news bulletin! A minor reporter from the midwest who you have never heard of and who nobody but his 3 friends give a flying fuck about, is feared dead following a "mysterious car bombing"! In other news, all children in the entire world vanished last night, experts say it was likely the result of "excess electromagnetism" or some shit, so in other words we have no idea and it could happen again to all of us at any second. In sports news..."

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** "Ladies and gentlemen, we have an urgent news bulletin! A minor reporter from the midwest who you have never heard of and who nobody but his 3 friends give a flying fuck about, is feared dead following a "mysterious 'mysterious car bombing"! bombing'! In other news, all children in the entire world vanished last night, experts say it was likely the result of "excess electromagnetism" 'excess electromagnetism' or some shit, so in other words we have no idea and it could happen again to all of us at any second. In sports news..."



** As the fifth book shows, the Ministry of Magic isn't afraid of squashing the ''Prophet'' from running stories it doesn't like (and the ''Prophet'' generally is fine with complying). Given that the news-worthy events of [[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheChamberOfSecrets the second book]] also involved the Ministry making very bad moves (Fudge wrongly arrested Hagrid and kicked out Dumbledore, still didn't stop the danger to the students, and ended up having it revealed that he and the Board of Governors were bullied into it by Lucius Malfoy), it wouldn't be that hard to see the Ministry downplaying those events, or having them ignored entirely.

to:

** As the fifth book shows, the Ministry of Magic isn't afraid of squashing the ''Prophet'' from running stories it doesn't like (and the ''Prophet'' generally is fine with complying). Given that the news-worthy newsworthy events of [[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheChamberOfSecrets the second book]] also involved the Ministry making very bad moves (Fudge wrongly arrested Hagrid and kicked out Dumbledore, still didn't stop the danger to the students, and ended up having it revealed that he and the Board of Governors were bullied into it by Lucius Malfoy), it wouldn't be that hard to see the Ministry downplaying those events, or having them ignored entirely.



* ''Series/DoctorWho'': In "The War Machines", the death of a tramp makes the front page of ''The Times''. Actual deaths in 1966 included writers Evelyn Waugh and C.S. Forester, actors Buster Keaton and Montgomery Clift, comedian Lenny Bruce and Captain Cook's 200 year-old tortoise. Their deaths did not make the front page of ''The Times''.

to:

* ''Series/DoctorWho'': In "The War Machines", the death of a tramp makes the front page of ''The Times''. Actual deaths in 1966 included writers Evelyn Waugh and C.S. Forester, actors Buster Keaton and Montgomery Clift, comedian Lenny Bruce and Captain Cook's 200 year-old 200-year-old tortoise. Their deaths did not make the front page of ''The Times''.



* PlayedForLaughs in an episode of the Creator/AdultSwim series Newsreaders. A segment is given to a story about the creator of "Motorboating Dad's", a new parenting method designed to teach young boys how to grow up to be womanizing douchebags. At the end of the segment, the man states that if what he is doing is so evil, then he challenges a time traveler to kill him [[GodwinsLawOfTimeTravel as if he were Hitler]]. After a few moments of confidence in the fact that he must be right, [[InsaneTrollLogic since no time traveling assassins came back to kill him]], the segment ends ''right as one appears''. Lampshaded immediately.

to:

* PlayedForLaughs in an episode of the Creator/AdultSwim series Newsreaders. ''Newsreaders''. A segment is given to a story about the creator of "Motorboating Dad's", Dads", a new parenting method designed to teach young boys how to grow up to be womanizing douchebags. At the end of the segment, the man states that if what he is doing is so evil, then he challenges a time traveler to kill him [[GodwinsLawOfTimeTravel as if he were Hitler]]. After a few moments of confidence in the fact that he must be right, [[InsaneTrollLogic since no time traveling assassins came back to kill him]], the segment ends ''right as one appears''. Lampshaded immediately.
10th Jun '17 10:12:10 AM BobbyZ4
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*In the crime-ridden big city where ''ComicStrip/DickTracy'' takes place, a newspaper runs an above-the-fold story titled [[http://www.gocomics.com/dicktracy/2017/06/10 "Local Farmer Faces Foreclosure"]].
6th Jun '17 4:48:15 PM StrixObscuro
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* In one issue of ''ComicBook/XStatix'', a reporter cuts away from coverage of a charity event in order to deliver the exclusive scoop that Venus Dee Milo is a virgin.
25th May '17 6:07:52 PM dmcreif
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** The same syndrome initially stymies Jimmy [=McNulty's=] efforts to publicize his made-up serial killer. He does an interview for Alma, but the ''Sun'' publishes the article deep inside the paper below a story about a school name change, because the "victims" [[note]]who actually died of natural causes and were staged post-mortem[[/note]] are homeless. [=McNulty=] and Lester Freamon have to add a sexual element to the killings and try again to get the results he wants.

to:

** The same syndrome initially stymies Jimmy [=McNulty's=] efforts to publicize his made-up serial killer. killer, as part of a scheme to bring in extra funding for the police department. He does an interview for Alma, but the ''Sun'' publishes the article deep inside the paper below a story about a school name change, because the "victims" [[note]]who (who actually died of natural causes and were staged post-mortem[[/note]] post-mortem) are homeless. [=McNulty=] and Lester Freamon have to add a sexual element to the killings and try again to get the results he wants.
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