History Main / TwentyBearAsses

24th Mar '17 8:18:21 AM BeerBaron
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* ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIIDaggerfall'' has a few of these to speak of. They're standard Fighters Guild quests and there is a notable Merchant Quest where you are asked to empty some random dungeon of a few harpies, and the last one will have a quest item feather to bring back to the merchant to prove they were killed.
* ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIIIMorrowind'' had a long-running side-quest like this in the ''Bloodmoon'' expansion. An armorer in [[GrimUpNorth Solstheim]] offers armor made from snow bears and snow wolves (medium and light armors respectively) that are very good and offer frost resistance on top of their armor value. To make a full set of each, you need 22 snow bear/wolf pelts (and 20,000 gold per set). Keep in mind that snow bears and wolves aren't all that common.
** And, as per the description, not all snow bears have [[strike: asses]] pelts.
* ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIVOblivion'' is a particularly bad offender.
** A farmer asks you to kill the bears that have been eating his sheep, and please bring him back the teeth as proof. The drop rate is 100%, but the challenge is finding the things in all the wide-open forest. Who ever heard of keeping sheep in the forest, anyway? And if you do the quest when you have a low CharacterLevel, you'll be going after bear ''cubs'', which are so small ''they are hidden by tall grass.'' We recommend the Detect Life spell to make life easier.
** The quest for master-level Destruction training gets about as close as possible to the literal title of the trope, requiring you to collect 20 bear pelts.
** Worst is the quest to farm twelve scales from Slaughter Fish. They spawn across an entire lake and the next one doesn't spawn until you find and kill the prior one. There is a compass marker, but it does not help if the fish spawns inside a freakin' rock.
** Being expelled from the mage's guild will also earn you a quest to get admitted back in-collecting 20 of certain ingredients, which if this is the second time that's happened, are reasonably rare ingredients as well. Being expelled from the fighters guild requires gathering/buying 20 bear pelts to get back in, not too awful as they're common items sold in groups of 5. Being expelled a second time requires harvesting 20 minotaur horns (more than some players see in an entire play through); you may as well load that earlier save from 3 hours ago from before when you were unjustly kicked out, it'll probably save you time in the long run.
** Gathering the various tidbits to be cured of vampirism also amounts to this. It takes 5 empty grand soul gems that you'll probably have to buy and/or steal from a third of the alchemy suppliers in the country to gather enough, just to get started (one or two less if you noticed the hidden basement entrance in the quest giver's house-fortunately she won't recognize her own property). Then, you need to find a number of different alchemy ingredients that chances are you don't have stockpiled anywhere, and are scattered all over the place. Also, if you've ignored the main quest until now, good luck finding any blood grass - [[RevenueEnhancingDevices unless you buy the Wizard's Tower DLC, of course]].
** The master speech trainer quest requires speaking to every single beggar in the country. Fortunately, speech is such a useless skill no one seems to bother with this one.
** There's also the "seeking your roots" quest, and no, its not about discovering any sort of background information on your character. It involves finding 100 nirnroot plants spread through the whole game, for a fairly mediocre reward (a series of potions whose effects a mid level spell caster can replicate in his sleep, and an Nth playthrough player produce as constant effects as early as level 1). Unless the player is shooting for a very long and thorough play through, or is specifically scouring the coastline for them, chances are you won't stumble across anywhere near as many roots as you need for the quest. The only "help" this quest has is there's over ''300'' of the plants and they naturally ring and glow to help you find them.
* By ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim'', they started growing nirnroots on a farm. Unfortunately, they need 20 jazbay grapes for fertilizer. Jazbay plants are inconspicuous lichen-like things, looking nothing like real-world grape plants. Fortunately, they don't fight back.
** Just for good measure, Skyrim also contains an instance of the archetypal "bring back 10 bear pelts" fetch quest as well. And given the fact that you probably won't be strong enough not to get clobbered by bears when you get the quest, you'll be mostly relying on random vendor inventories to get them, and the things are most likely going to clog up your inventory space for a while. As a final insult, the questgiver (a lumberjack who hates bears for scratching the local trees, rendering them unusable) has no need for the pelts, they're just to prove you fulfilled her request. Bears also drop claws which are much lighter, but only pelts will do. Even polar bear pelts, which obviously didn't belong to the local brown bears.
** If that wasn't tedious enough, another character demands nirnroot, nightshade, and deathbells, 20 apiece. Another wants a few ice wraith teeth, another wants 10 fire salts (one of the few items in the shop that costs over 100 gold). The game engine generates these on the fly, with in-game programming that goes something like "require _PLAYER_ to get [item] from [dungeon]"

to:

* ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIIDaggerfall'' ''Franchise/TheElderScrolls''
** ''[[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIIDaggerfall Daggerfall]]''
has a few of these to speak of. They're standard Fighters Guild quests and there is a notable Merchant Quest where you are asked to empty some random dungeon of a few harpies, and the last one will have a quest item feather to bring back to the merchant to prove they were killed.
* ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIIIMorrowind'' had a long-running side-quest like this ** ''[[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIIIMorrowind Morrowind]]'': One side quest in the ''Bloodmoon'' expansion. An expansion has an armorer in [[GrimUpNorth Solstheim]] offers who tasks you with hunting Snow Bears and Snow Wolves for their pelts. He will then turn those pelts into Snow Bear or Snow Wolf armor made from snow bears and snow wolves (medium armor and light armors armor, respectively) that are very good which is high quality and offer frost resistance on top of their armor value. comes with a useful Resist Frost enchantment built in. To make a full set of each, you get both sets, you'll need 22 snow bear/wolf pelts (and 20,000 gold per set). Keep in mind that snow bears of each type of pelt. Snow Bears and wolves aren't all that common.
** And, as per the description,
Snow Wolves are uncommon enemies and are [[RandomlyDrops not all snow bears have [[strike: asses]] pelts.
* ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIVOblivion'' is
guaranteed to drop a particularly bad offender.
pelt upon death]]. Happy hunting.
** ''[[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIVOblivion Oblivion]]'':
***
A farmer asks you to kill the bears that have been eating his sheep, and please bring him back the teeth as proof. The drop rate is 100%, but the challenge is finding the things in all the wide-open forest. Who ever heard of keeping sheep in the forest, anyway? And if you do the quest when you have a low CharacterLevel, you'll be going after bear ''cubs'', which are so small ''they are hidden by tall grass.'' We recommend the Detect Life spell to make life easier.
** *** The quest for master-level Destruction training gets about as close as possible to the literal title of the trope, requiring you to collect 20 bear pelts.
** *** Worst is the quest to farm twelve scales from Slaughter Fish. They spawn across an entire lake and the next one doesn't spawn until you find and kill the prior one. There is a compass marker, but it does not help if the fish spawns inside a freakin' rock.
** *** Being expelled from the mage's guild will also earn you a quest to get admitted back in-collecting 20 of certain ingredients, which if this is the second time that's happened, are reasonably rare ingredients as well. Being expelled from the fighters guild requires gathering/buying 20 bear pelts to get back in, not too awful as they're common items sold in groups of 5. Being expelled a second time requires harvesting 20 minotaur horns (more than some players see in an entire play through); you may as well load that earlier save from 3 hours ago from before when you were unjustly kicked out, it'll probably save you time in the long run.
** *** Gathering the various tidbits to be cured of vampirism also amounts to this. It takes 5 empty grand soul gems that you'll probably have to buy and/or steal from a third of the alchemy suppliers in the country to gather enough, just to get started (one or two less if you noticed the hidden basement entrance in the quest giver's house-fortunately she won't recognize her own property). Then, you need to find a number of different alchemy ingredients that chances are you don't have stockpiled anywhere, and are scattered all over the place. Also, if you've ignored the main quest until now, good luck finding any blood grass - [[RevenueEnhancingDevices unless you buy the Wizard's Tower DLC, of course]].
** *** The master speech trainer quest requires speaking to every single beggar in the country. Fortunately, speech is such a useless skill no one seems to bother with this one.
** *** There's also the "seeking your roots" quest, and no, its not about discovering any sort of background information on your character. It involves finding 100 nirnroot plants spread through the whole game, for a fairly mediocre reward (a series of potions whose effects a mid level spell caster can replicate in his sleep, and an Nth playthrough player produce as constant effects as early as level 1). Unless the player is shooting for a very long and thorough play through, or is specifically scouring the coastline for them, chances are you won't stumble across anywhere near as many roots as you need for the quest. The only "help" this quest has is there's over ''300'' of the plants and they naturally ring and glow to help you find them.
* By ''VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim'', they ** ''[[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim Skyrim]]'':
*** They've
started growing nirnroots on a farm. Unfortunately, they need 20 jazbay grapes for fertilizer. Jazbay plants are inconspicuous lichen-like things, looking nothing like real-world grape plants. Fortunately, they don't fight back.
** *** Just for good measure, Skyrim also contains an instance of the archetypal "bring back 10 bear pelts" fetch quest as well. And given the fact that you probably won't be strong enough not to get clobbered by bears when you get the quest, you'll be mostly relying on random vendor inventories to get them, and the things are most likely going to clog up your inventory space for a while. As a final insult, the questgiver (a lumberjack who hates bears for scratching the local trees, rendering them unusable) has no need for the pelts, they're just to prove you fulfilled her request. Bears also drop claws which are much lighter, but only pelts will do. Even polar bear pelts, which obviously didn't belong to the local brown bears.
** *** If that wasn't tedious enough, another character demands nirnroot, nightshade, and deathbells, 20 apiece. Another wants a few ice wraith teeth, another wants 10 fire salts (one of the few items in the shop that costs over 100 gold). The game engine generates these on the fly, with in-game programming that goes something like "require _PLAYER_ to get [item] from [dungeon]"



** If you're looking for Falmer Ears, you can sometimes loot as many as two of them from Falmer corpses! Similarly, you can always liberate a single Giant's Toe, but never more.

to:

** *** If you're looking for Falmer Ears, you can sometimes loot as many as two of them from Falmer corpses! Similarly, you can always liberate a single Giant's Toe, but never more.
5th Mar '17 1:58:28 PM Discar
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->''That's all? One quest? Surely you jest. Are there not [[AscendedMeme bear asses]] to collect? Perhaps a rare flower that I could pick from which you will make some mildly hallucinogenic tonic which you will then drink, resulting in visions of a great apocalypse? Perhaps the local populace of mildly annoying, ill-tempered gophers are acting up and need to be brought to justice? No? Nothing?''
--> --'''Johnny Awesome''', ''VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft''

to:

->''That's ->''"That's all? One quest? Surely you jest. Are there not [[AscendedMeme bear asses]] to collect? Perhaps a rare flower that I could pick from which you will make some mildly hallucinogenic tonic which you will then drink, resulting in visions of a great apocalypse? Perhaps the local populace of mildly annoying, ill-tempered gophers are acting up and need to be brought to justice? No? Nothing?''
--> --'''Johnny
Nothing?"''
-->-- '''Johnny
Awesome''', ''VideoGame/WorldOfWarcraft''
27th Feb '17 7:43:07 PM BattleMaster
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This sort of quest can draw attention to the inherent FridgeLogic of Random Drops, such as when the drop in question is a vital body part that all monster corpses should have, like a liver, feet, skin, or a ''head''. A flimsy justification is that the body part may have been compromised during the fight. Turns out only ''pristine'' bear asses will do, even when the woodsman just wants twenty bears dead and doesn't actually want to make anything out of the bear asses. That is one picky woodsman. How you kill the bear rarely affects the odds of its ass being ruined, either, so even Priests whose attacks are mental/spiritual rather than physical are not immune to this trope.

to:

This sort of quest can draw attention to the inherent FridgeLogic of Random Drops, such as when the drop in question is a vital body part that all monster corpses should have, like a liver, feet, skin, or a ''head''. A flimsy justification is that the body part may have been compromised during the fight. Turns out only ''pristine'' bear asses will do, even when the woodsman just wants twenty bears dead and doesn't actually want to make anything out of the bear asses. That is one picky woodsman. How you kill the bear rarely affects the odds of its ass being ruined, either, so even Priests whose attacks are mental/spiritual rather than physical are not immune to this trope.
trope while attacks that reduce the target to LudicrousGibs typically don't reduce the odds of finding the correct part.
21st Feb '17 2:25:49 PM Medinoc
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Added DiffLines:

** If Jews had already adopted circumcision as a tradition by the time the Bible was written, it's possible King Saul wanted David to ''convert'' a hundred Philistines. Which segues into a possible explanation for bringing back two hundred: "I didn't know which one you wanted, so I did both".
20th Feb '17 1:40:24 PM bt8257
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This is a type of FetchQuest that involves going around killing enemies and collecting a certain amount of a specific item that these enemies [[RandomDrop randomly drop]]. They are most common in {{MMORPG}}s. The common hypothetical example involves a woodsman NPC asking the PlayerCharacter to deliver [[MacGuffin 20 sections of bear]] to him.

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This is a A type of FetchQuest that involves going around killing enemies and collecting a certain amount of a specific item that these enemies [[RandomDrop randomly drop]]. They are most common in {{MMORPG}}s. The common hypothetical example involves a woodsman NPC asking the PlayerCharacter to deliver [[MacGuffin 20 sections of bear]] to him.
18th Jan '17 8:01:55 PM Thrills
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Added DiffLines:

* ''VideoGame/AnimalJam'' has a few seasonal adventures that run on this trope. In particular, Bitter Sweets requires the player to collect a certain amount of candy for a mysterious entity, which can be found on the ground and harvested by defeating proto-phantoms. They only drop one candy each, though, and the player has to collect ''1,000'' in order to be truly done with the mission.
14th Jan '17 6:58:55 PM MiddleEighth
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* Hilariously played with in ''Fanfic/TheKeysStandAlone: The Soft World''. The four desperately need magic that will mask them from scanners, but don't have the money to pay for it, so Frondar at Gold Magic offers to trade them this magic if they fetch nine cockatrice feathers for use in magic item construction. The four angrily turn this down as being unreasonably dangerous. When Frondar offers to let them collect unitaur (one-horned minotaur) horns instead, they turn that down because [[ActualPacifist they won't kill anything]]. As the four ponder what to do next, it occurs to John that [[VoluntaryShapeshifting shapeshifting] George could help out a lot with this problem... and hence the concept of “harvesting George” is born (much to George's annoyance). They use him to raise money and avoid a tedious side quest later.

to:

* Hilariously played with in ''Fanfic/TheKeysStandAlone: The Soft World''. The four desperately need magic that will mask them from scanners, but don't have the money to pay for it, so Frondar at Gold Magic offers to trade them this magic if they fetch nine cockatrice feathers for use in magic item construction. The four angrily turn this down as being unreasonably dangerous. When Frondar offers to let them collect unitaur (one-horned minotaur) horns instead, they turn that down because [[ActualPacifist they won't kill anything]]. As the four ponder what to do next, it occurs to John that [[VoluntaryShapeshifting shapeshifting] shapeshifter]] George could help out a lot with this problem... and hence the concept of “harvesting George” is born (much to George's annoyance). They use him to raise money and avoid a tedious side quest later.
14th Jan '17 6:58:11 PM MiddleEighth
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Added DiffLines:

[[folder: Fan Works]]
*Hilariously played with in ''Fanfic/TheKeysStandAlone: The Soft World''. The four desperately need magic that will mask them from scanners, but don't have the money to pay for it, so Frondar at Gold Magic offers to trade them this magic if they fetch nine cockatrice feathers for use in magic item construction. The four angrily turn this down as being unreasonably dangerous. When Frondar offers to let them collect unitaur (one-horned minotaur) horns instead, they turn that down because [[ActualPacifist they won't kill anything]]. As the four ponder what to do next, it occurs to John that [[VoluntaryShapeshifting shapeshifting] George could help out a lot with this problem... and hence the concept of “harvesting George” is born (much to George's annoyance). They use him to raise money and avoid a tedious side quest later.
[[/folder]]
4th Jan '17 10:31:31 PM IndigoFenix
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* Parodied in the web game [[LuckyTower Lucky Tower 2]], where a mapmaker (who calls himself a "communist" and will therefore not accept cash for his maps) asks you to collect 15 goblin ears for his soup. There is only one goblin in the game, but it has 15 ears.

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* Parodied in the web game [[LuckyTower Lucky Tower 2]], ''VideoGame/LuckyTower'' 2, where a mapmaker (who calls himself a "communist" and will therefore not accept cash for his maps) asks you to collect 15 goblin ears for his soup. There is only one goblin in the game, but it has 15 ears.
4th Jan '17 10:18:46 PM IndigoFenix
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Added DiffLines:

* Parodied in the web game [[LuckyTower Lucky Tower 2]], where a mapmaker (who calls himself a "communist" and will therefore not accept cash for his maps) asks you to collect 15 goblin ears for his soup. There is only one goblin in the game, but it has 15 ears.
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