History Main / ThingsIWillDoIfIAmEvertheVampire

5th Jun '16 12:39:47 AM I_love_dragons
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# Backpacks and small bags capable of holding sharp pointed wooden sticks will be taken from visitors by a servant at the door. Anyone refusing to part with their accessories will be taken into a side room and shot in the knees, handcuffed and chained to the wall where they will provide lunch for my concubines.

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# Backpacks and small bags capable of holding sharp pointed wooden sticks will be taken from visitors by a servant at the door. Anyone refusing to part with their accessories will be taken into a side room and room, shot in the knees, handcuffed and chained to the wall where they will provide lunch for my concubines.
28th Mar '16 6:47:30 PM Prfnoff
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# Before dining out with anyone, I will verify that garlic is not a major spice at that restaurant.

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# Before dining out with anyone, I will verify that garlic [[VampiresHateGarlic garlic]] is not a major spice at that restaurant.
29th Jan '16 8:13:09 PM AlgaeNymph
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# I will not personally finish off the Hero. That is what loyal servants, concubines and assorted slaves are for. Besides, the True Love is probably tastier.

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# I will not personally finish off the Hero. That is what loyal servants, concubines concubines, and assorted slaves are for. Besides, the True Love is probably tastier.
29th Jan '16 8:11:40 PM AlgaeNymph
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# Servants, concubines and assorted slaves will have a zero-tolerance rule: one mistake and they're dead. I can always create more.

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# Servants, concubines concubines, and assorted slaves will have a zero-tolerance rule: one mistake and they're dead. I can always create more.
29th Jan '16 8:11:21 PM AlgaeNymph
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# All servants, concubines and assorted slaves will be under strict orders not to show excessive devotion to me in public.

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# All servants, concubines concubines, and assorted slaves will be under strict orders not to show excessive devotion to me in public.
29th Jan '16 8:09:36 PM AlgaeNymph
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# I will not associate with vampire theatres, vampire whorehouses and prostitution rings, vampire bars or vampire biker gangs. They attract attention.

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# I will not associate with vampire theatres, vampire whorehouses and prostitution rings, vampire bars bars, or vampire biker gangs. They attract attention.
30th Dec '15 10:37:32 PM Dingbot
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# I will not engage a [[Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer Vampire Slayer]] in martial arts combat, as that seldom seems to work out well.
# If I find out that there is a [[Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer Vampire Slayer]] living in the vicinity, I will consider moving elsewhere, regardless of the advantages conferred by that particular location.

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# I will not engage a [[Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer Vampire Slayer]] Slayer in martial arts combat, as that seldom seems to work out well.
# If I find out that there is a [[Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer Vampire Slayer]] Slayer living in the vicinity, I will consider moving elsewhere, regardless of the advantages conferred by that particular location.
21st Nov '15 9:33:15 PM NineballCirno
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# If the hero is a FriendlyNeighbourVampire, I will consider joining him or her. If they've found a way to live alongside humans, I can too. And it would make life infinitely easier.

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# If the hero is a FriendlyNeighbourVampire, FriendlyNeighborhoodVampire, I will consider joining him or her. If they've found a way to live alongside humans, I can too. And it would make life infinitely easier.
17th Aug '15 4:13:16 PM Bisected8
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Added DiffLines:

# If the hero is a FriendlyNeighbourVampire, I will consider joining him or her. If they've found a way to live alongside humans, I can too. And it would make life infinitely easier.
25th Jan '15 7:11:54 PM ThomasSmith
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# If I can't avoid wearing black all the time, and acting wierd, I will go to bars which cater to that sort of clientele. It would make it more difficult for the hero to pick me out of the crowd.

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# If I can't avoid wearing black all the time, and acting wierd, weird, I will go to bars which cater to that sort of clientele. It would make it more difficult for the hero to pick me out of the crowd.



# I will not dismiss a Hero as a mere mortal because he does not have my centiuries of experience. Even inexperienced losers can get lucky.

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# I will not dismiss a Hero as a mere mortal because he does not have my centiuries centuries of experience. Even inexperienced losers can get lucky.



# All villagers will be encouraged to send their children to the schools I will secretly finance. After a few years of modern education they will dismiss the legends told by their grandparents, several of which will undoubtably be ways to destroy me.

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# All villagers will be encouraged to send their children to the schools I will secretly finance. After a few years of modern education they will dismiss the legends told by their grandparents, several of which will undoubtably undoubtedly be ways to destroy me.
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