History Main / ThingsIWillDoIfIAmEvertheVampire

7th Sep '16 10:25:05 PM ErikModi
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# My coffin will be concealed and will be a plain wooden box. The elaborate oak coffin with gold trim resting in the basement will be equipped with claymores [mines] designed to shred the body of anyone who opens it.

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# My coffin will be concealed and will be a plain wooden box. The elaborate oak coffin with gold trim resting in the basement will be equipped with claymores [mines] claymore mines designed to shred the body of anyone who opens it.




->6(a). If I don't need to sleep in a coffin, the plain wooden box will also be claymores.

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\n->6(a). *6(a). If I don't need to sleep in a coffin, the plain wooden box will also be claymores.
claymores.
11th Aug '16 5:19:22 PM Scrounge
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[/numlist]

->6(a). If I don't need to sleep in a coffin, the plain wooden box will also be claymores.

[numlist:48]



# All future concubines will be screened and have complete background checks. Those with relatives named Van Helsing will be removed from consideration. The irony is not worth the risk.

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# All future concubines will be screened and have complete background checks. Those with relatives named Van Helsing will be removed from consideration. The irony is not worth the risk. Same goes for Belmont.
5th Jun '16 12:39:47 AM I_love_dragons
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# Backpacks and small bags capable of holding sharp pointed wooden sticks will be taken from visitors by a servant at the door. Anyone refusing to part with their accessories will be taken into a side room and shot in the knees, handcuffed and chained to the wall where they will provide lunch for my concubines.

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# Backpacks and small bags capable of holding sharp pointed wooden sticks will be taken from visitors by a servant at the door. Anyone refusing to part with their accessories will be taken into a side room and room, shot in the knees, handcuffed and chained to the wall where they will provide lunch for my concubines.
28th Mar '16 6:47:30 PM Prfnoff
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# Before dining out with anyone, I will verify that garlic is not a major spice at that restaurant.

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# Before dining out with anyone, I will verify that garlic [[VampiresHateGarlic garlic]] is not a major spice at that restaurant.
29th Jan '16 8:13:09 PM AlgaeNymph
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# I will not personally finish off the Hero. That is what loyal servants, concubines and assorted slaves are for. Besides, the True Love is probably tastier.

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# I will not personally finish off the Hero. That is what loyal servants, concubines concubines, and assorted slaves are for. Besides, the True Love is probably tastier.
29th Jan '16 8:11:40 PM AlgaeNymph
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# Servants, concubines and assorted slaves will have a zero-tolerance rule: one mistake and they're dead. I can always create more.

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# Servants, concubines concubines, and assorted slaves will have a zero-tolerance rule: one mistake and they're dead. I can always create more.
29th Jan '16 8:11:21 PM AlgaeNymph
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# All servants, concubines and assorted slaves will be under strict orders not to show excessive devotion to me in public.

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# All servants, concubines concubines, and assorted slaves will be under strict orders not to show excessive devotion to me in public.
29th Jan '16 8:09:36 PM AlgaeNymph
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# I will not associate with vampire theatres, vampire whorehouses and prostitution rings, vampire bars or vampire biker gangs. They attract attention.

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# I will not associate with vampire theatres, vampire whorehouses and prostitution rings, vampire bars bars, or vampire biker gangs. They attract attention.
30th Dec '15 10:37:32 PM Dingbot
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# I will not engage a [[Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer Vampire Slayer]] in martial arts combat, as that seldom seems to work out well.
# If I find out that there is a [[Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer Vampire Slayer]] living in the vicinity, I will consider moving elsewhere, regardless of the advantages conferred by that particular location.

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# I will not engage a [[Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer Vampire Slayer]] Slayer in martial arts combat, as that seldom seems to work out well.
# If I find out that there is a [[Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer Vampire Slayer]] Slayer living in the vicinity, I will consider moving elsewhere, regardless of the advantages conferred by that particular location.
21st Nov '15 9:33:15 PM NineballCirno
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# If the hero is a FriendlyNeighbourVampire, I will consider joining him or her. If they've found a way to live alongside humans, I can too. And it would make life infinitely easier.

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# If the hero is a FriendlyNeighbourVampire, FriendlyNeighborhoodVampire, I will consider joining him or her. If they've found a way to live alongside humans, I can too. And it would make life infinitely easier.
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