History Main / TheComputerIsACheatingBastard

25th May '16 2:17:38 AM erforce
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* ''{{Burnout}} 3: Takedown'' features broken one-way RubberbandAI in many of its events. When you're in the lead, driving perfectly and constantly boosting, the AI will be, as a helpful yellow pop-up caption exclaims, "right on your tail!" no matter how many times you wreck them. The moment you crash, they start to take an insurmountable 30-second lead that is nearly impossible to overcome.
** In ''{{Burnout}} Paradise'', the computer drivers will always get a head start in race events, allowing them to boost past you before you even get control of your car.

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* ''{{Burnout}} 3: Takedown'' ''VideoGame/{{Burnout}}''
** ''VideoGame/Burnout3Takedown''
features broken one-way RubberbandAI in many of its events. When you're in the lead, driving perfectly and constantly boosting, the AI will be, as a helpful yellow pop-up caption exclaims, "right on your tail!" no matter how many times you wreck them. The moment you crash, they start to take an insurmountable 30-second lead that is nearly impossible to overcome.
** In ''{{Burnout}} Paradise'', ''VideoGame/BurnoutParadise'', the computer drivers will always get a head start in race events, allowing them to boost past you before you even get control of your car.



* In ''Videogame/CrashTeamRacing'' for the PS1, Nitrous Oxide literally starts the race ''before the green light'' that signaled the race's start.

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* In ''Videogame/CrashTeamRacing'' for the PS1, [=PS1=], Nitrous Oxide literally starts the race ''before the green light'' that signaled the race's start.
18th May '16 10:40:52 AM TheCheshireCat
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** The newest entry is better about this, with distinct differences between "trespassing" (if you're caught, guards will escort you out and only attack if you resist) and "hostile area" (guards attack you immediately if you're caught). However, you are still the only person in the universe they care about; the most noticeable example is areas where you have to be frisked to enter - NPCs will walk right past the same guards without them so much as turning their heads.
18th May '16 4:53:20 AM AndyLA
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* The ''Crusin' USA'' port on the Nintendo 64 featured drastic RubberBandAI from the few lead cars that would try to pass you, including "[[FanNickname That F**king Blue Car]]". The top two cars in any race would drive perfectly and always managed to avoid crashing into traffic, even clipping through traffic that was going to wreck them if the player couldn't see it. The only way possible to achieve victory was to force other racers into the oncoming cars. Even then, it wasn't foolproof, as not only did you have to get lucky with the timing (since oncoming traffic is nearly impossible to predict and/or see coming), the AI cars would be back on your tail in less than ten seconds. On the higher difficulties, the only way to win was to knock a car into the opposing lanes towards the end of the race and [[LuckBasedMission hope an oncoming car rammed them off the road]].

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* The ''Crusin' ''Cruis'n USA'' port on the Nintendo 64 featured drastic RubberBandAI from the few lead cars that would try to pass you, including "[[FanNickname That F**king Blue Car]]". The top two cars in any race would drive perfectly and always managed to avoid crashing into traffic, even clipping through traffic that was going to wreck them if the player couldn't see it. The only way possible to achieve victory was to force other racers into the oncoming cars. Even then, it wasn't foolproof, as not only did you have to get lucky with the timing (since oncoming traffic is nearly impossible to predict and/or see coming), the AI cars would be back on your tail in less than ten seconds. On the higher difficulties, the only way to win was to knock a car into the opposing lanes towards the end of the race and [[LuckBasedMission hope an oncoming car rammed them off the road]].



** The game also has some ''serious'' {{rubber band AI}}. The super secret bike tops out (when not using the nitro) at around 215 MPH. You get this bike (with the proper code) on the first races (if you decided to cheat back). You can speed past every other racer and take first place within the first 11 seconds of the race, but if you crash any time after that (most noticeable when you're at the end of the race), at least five other racers will pass you before you can get back onto the bike.

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** The game also has some ''serious'' {{rubber band AI}}. The super secret bike tops out (when not using the nitro) at around 215 MPH. You get this bike (with the proper code) on the first races (if you decided to cheat back). You can speed past every other racer and take first place within the first 11 seconds of the race, but if you crash any time after that (most noticeable when you're at the end of the race), at least five other racers will pass you before you can get back onto the bike.bike, even if you don't get flung too far away from it.
18th May '16 4:51:38 AM AndyLA
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* The Rhino Tanks are the definition of Badass in ''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoSanAndreas'', being incredibly rare to find unless you get a six-star wanted level, or obtain one from the military base. However, these vehicles are very heavy and definitely ''not'' nimble when ''you'' drive them. However, if you manage to outrun the police, FBI and army in your souped-up Infernus and tear through the countryside, prepare to have the horror of your life when ''a Rhino Tank bursts out of the woods and charges straight for you at speeds upwards of 120 miles per hour''.

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* The Rhino Tanks are the definition of Badass in ''VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoSanAndreas'', being incredibly rare to find unless you get a six-star wanted level, or obtain one from the military base.base (which will ''also'' give you a six-star wanted level). However, these vehicles are very heavy and definitely ''not'' nimble when ''you'' drive them. However, if you manage to outrun the police, FBI and army in your souped-up Infernus and tear through the countryside, prepare to have the horror of your life when ''a Rhino Tank bursts out of the woods and charges straight for you at speeds upwards of 120 miles per hour''.
16th May '16 5:26:00 AM SMB3
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***Technically, this is because the game uses a "random seed" method of determining rolls. The game has a randomly generated number that it uses as a basis to find the numbers for rolls, spins, etc. Since there is some form of pattern, the number rolled at a given time will always be the same, unless the seed changes. That happens when certain actions are performed (for example, using an item before you roll). You can still bet the AI has a say in its roll, though.
13th May '16 5:27:29 PM IamTheCaligula
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** Calamity Trigger's Hakuman story, You get to fight [[spoiler: The remnants of Jin (Of who Hakuman is an alternate possibility) love for Ragna.]] and during this fight HE ALWAYS HAS 100% HEAT GAUGE. He takes full advantage of this and will constantly catch you in an unwinnable loop with his Special attacks.
** Basically any fight against Hazama due to the fact that he lives up to his cheating bastard status. He will use his Distortion Drives only when you have literally no way to dodge it, and it can hit you if you're on the ground.
** Nu on her own is bad enough; she has projectile swords that basically fly out of the air. Many characters, particularly Hakumen and Tager, have no way at all to approach Nu in her NORMAL state. Based on tournaments, they have around a 20% chance of winning a match against a Nu player of equal skill. Unlimited Nu is Nu, except she summons 3 swords with every attack instead of 1. Yeah. It's hell.
*** Don't forget she has little recovery time on these attacks, and can (and will) combo any and all hits into her Distortion Drive, which hits for about 50% life. Bear in mind, this will happen if you fail to block ''even once',' while you will require about 40 minor miracles in a row to beat her.
** Ragna isn't much better. He seems to take quite a bit less damage in his Unlimited state. He also has increased vampiric properties. He has them to a reasonable extent in his normal state, but his Distortion Drives in Unlimited mode can easily knock off around 75% of your HP (healing him for around 50% of his), and undoing all the work you've been doing through the entire match.

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** In Hakumen's story mode in Calamity Trigger's Hakuman story, You Trigger, you get to fight [[spoiler: The remnants of Jin (Of who Hakuman is an alternate possibility) love for Ragna.]] and during Kisaragi. Throughout this fight HE Jin ALWAYS HAS 100% HEAT GAUGE. He takes full advantage of this and will constantly catch you in an unwinnable loop with his Special attacks.
** Basically any fight against Hazama due to the fact that he lives up to his cheating bastard status. He will use his Distortion Drives only when you have literally no way to dodge it, and it can hit you if you're on the ground.them.
** Nu Nu-13 on her own is bad enough; she has can rapidfire summoned projectile swords that basically fly out of the air.swords. Many characters, particularly Hakumen and Tager, have no way at all to approach Nu in her NORMAL state. Based on tournaments, they have around a 20% chance of winning a match against a Nu player of equal skill. Unlimited Nu is Nu, except she summons 3 swords with every attack instead of 1.twice as many swords. Yeah. It's hell.
*** Don't forget she has autogain on her Heat meter, has very little recovery time on these attacks, her attacks and can (and will) combo any and all hits into her Distortion Drive, which hits for about 50% life. Bear in mind, this will happen if you fail to block ''even once',' once'', while you will require about 40 minor miracles in a row to beat her.
** Ragna isn't much better. He seems to take quite a bit less damage in In his Unlimited state. state he has twice as much life as the tankiest glacier character in the game. He also has increased vampiric properties. He has them to a reasonable extent in his normal state, but properties and his Distortion Drives in his Unlimited mode form can easily knock off around 75% of your HP (healing HP, healing him for around 50% of his), his, and undoing all the work you've been doing through the entire match.
4th May '16 7:12:30 AM Piando
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** In ''FireEmblemFates'' the AI doesn't seem to particularly care about accuracy. Expect enemies with 19% accuracy to hit about as reliably as your units do at 75% accuracy.

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** In ''FireEmblemFates'' ''VideoGame/FireEmblemFates'' the AI doesn't seem to particularly care about accuracy. Expect enemies with 19% accuracy to hit about as reliably as your units do at 75% accuracy.



* Referenced in ''StarWars: The Essential Guide to Droids'', when explaining the dealer droid. These are programmed to deal for sabacc, and are occasionally told to ensure a house victory by, you guessed it, cheating like a bastard. This is usually reserved to gambling establishments that routinely frisk their guests, because droids are expensive and cheated customers are prone to using their weapons, [[Webcomic/EightBitTheater which are designed to inflict damage]].
** Pazaak in ''KnightsOfTheOldRepublic'' is ridiculously biased toward the computer. It's played similar to blackjack, but with a side deck to modify the total value and the top is 20. The computer always goes second, so you're more likely to bust than it is. If you go bust, the computer wins without having to take its next turn, but then this applies to you, too, so it's more than likely a rule than cheating. It counts cards, so it knows when it will get a 20. Finally, it gets 20 more often than you do. The only advantage you have is that your side deck is better by the time you leave Dantoonie. There's also a guy in the first game who actually does cheat... more than the computer usually cheats, that is. Fortunately the player can cheat by [[SaveScumming saving before each game]].

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* Referenced in ''StarWars: ''Franchise/StarWars: The Essential Guide to Droids'', when explaining the dealer droid. These are programmed to deal for sabacc, and are occasionally told to ensure a house victory by, you guessed it, cheating like a bastard. This is usually reserved to gambling establishments that routinely frisk their guests, because droids are expensive and cheated customers are prone to using their weapons, [[Webcomic/EightBitTheater which are designed to inflict damage]].
** Pazaak in ''KnightsOfTheOldRepublic'' ''VideoGame/KnightsOfTheOldRepublic'' is ridiculously biased toward the computer. It's played similar to blackjack, but with a side deck to modify the total value and the top is 20. The computer always goes second, so you're more likely to bust than it is. If you go bust, the computer wins without having to take its next turn, but then this applies to you, too, so it's more than likely a rule than cheating. It counts cards, so it knows when it will get a 20. Finally, it gets 20 more often than you do. The only advantage you have is that your side deck is better by the time you leave Dantoonie. There's also a guy in the first game who actually does cheat... more than the computer usually cheats, that is. Fortunately the player can cheat by [[SaveScumming saving before each game]].
4th May '16 2:25:11 AM Chabal2
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* ''VideoGame/WarcraftIII'': On Insane difficulty, the main difference is that the AI harvests and gets gold twice as fast: for every ten gold mined, it gets twenty.



** As the page quote suggests, Dawn of War 2 was trying to be a lot better about this, or at least attempting to not getting caught. What actually happens is referred to as "Dawn of Resource". The A.I. is completely and utterly ''obsessed'' with securing all of the resource points on the map. It will try to grab all of your points, constantly allowing its units to get killed just so the A.I. can complete the capture. It knows how far your units can see to the last pixel, and will make its units perfectly avoid the sight radius of yours. The only time the computer actually starts playing the game is when it finally has all of the resource points, where it suddenly becomes reasonably competent. As soon as you take back a single point, it immediately reverts back to its shy kleptomania.

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** As the page quote suggests, Dawn of War 2 was trying to be a lot better about this, or at least attempting to not getting caught. What actually happens is referred to as "Dawn of Resource". The A.I. is completely and utterly ''obsessed'' with securing all of the resource points on the map. [[https://1d4chan.org/wiki/File:DOW2Guide.jpg It will try to grab all of your points, constantly allowing its units to get killed just so the A.I. can complete the capture. It knows how far your units can see to the last pixel, and will make its units perfectly avoid the sight radius of yours. The only time the computer actually starts playing the game is when it finally has all of the resource points, where it suddenly becomes reasonably competent. As soon as you take back a single point, it immediately reverts back to its shy kleptomania.]]


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** Another useful trait is the AI knowing which enemy has the current least HP (the player needs an EnemyScan to know that) and concentrating on that one. This leads to ArtificialStupidity when a monster that could die [[BoringButPractical in two regular attacks]] is instead hit with an MP-intensive spell that [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill reduces it to zero several times over.]]
30th Apr '16 8:24:48 AM ThraggLootrippa
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** As the page quote suggests Dawn of War 2 is a lot better about this, or at least is better at not being caught.

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** As the page quote suggests suggests, Dawn of War 2 is was trying to be a lot better about this, or at least is better at attempting to not being caught.getting caught. What actually happens is referred to as "Dawn of Resource". The A.I. is completely and utterly ''obsessed'' with securing all of the resource points on the map. It will try to grab all of your points, constantly allowing its units to get killed just so the A.I. can complete the capture. It knows how far your units can see to the last pixel, and will make its units perfectly avoid the sight radius of yours. The only time the computer actually starts playing the game is when it finally has all of the resource points, where it suddenly becomes reasonably competent. As soon as you take back a single point, it immediately reverts back to its shy kleptomania.
28th Apr '16 8:58:31 AM DiamondWeapon
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** ...can [[ConspicuouslySelectivePerception tell the difference between footsteps and other sounds made by the player and NPCs]], even if they sound exactly the same.
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