History Main / RogerEbertMostHatedFilmList

20th Jan '17 7:45:28 PM Dancedom
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* ''Film/TeamAmericaWorldPolice''
-->"If I were asked to extract a political position from the movie, I'd be baffled. It is neither for nor against the war on terrorism, just dedicated to ridiculing those who wage it and those who oppose it. The White House gets a free pass, since the movie seems to think Team America makes it own policies without political direction. I wasn't offended by the movie's content so much as by its nihilism. At a time when the world is in crisis and the country faces an important election, the response of [[Creator/TreyParker Parker]], [[Creator/MattStone Stone]] and company is to sneer at both sides -- indeed, at anyone who takes the current world situation seriously. They may be right that some of us are puppets, but they're wrong that all of us are fools, and dead wrong that it doesn't matter."
18th Jan '17 7:44:44 PM Dancedom
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* ''Film/EmpireRecords''
-->"''Empire Records'' is a microcosm movie, one of those films where in a single day, every conceivable thing happens to every conceivable character, and at the end of the day, they are all a lot wiser, as the endless list of music credits scroll up the screen."


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* ''Film/SilentFall''
-->"''Silent Fall'' has such a torturously constructed plot, but the solution to the mystery has been right there all along. I refer you to the entry on "The Law of Economy of Characters" in Ebert's Little Movie Glossary, which observes that since there are no unnecessary characters, the guilty person in a whodunit is inevitably the one who otherwise seems unaccounted for."
15th Jan '17 1:46:47 PM Dancedom
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* ''Film/{{Footloose}}''
-->"''Footloose'' is a seriously confused movie that tries to do three things, and does all of them badly. It wants to tell the story of a conflict in town, it wants to introduce some flashy teenage characters, and part of the time it wants to be a music video. It's possible that no movie with this many agendas can be good; maybe somebody should have decided, early on, exactly what the movie was supposed to be about."


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* ''Film/HouseOfD''
-->"You know a movie is not working for you when you sit in the dark inventing new words. ''House of D'' is the kind of movie that particularly makes me cringe, because it has such a shameless desire to please; like Music/UriahHeep, it bows and scrapes and wipes its sweaty palm on its trouser leg, and also like Uriah Heep, it privately thinks it is superior."


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* ''Film/OldSchool''
-->"''Old School'' wants to be ''Film/NationalLampoonsAnimalHouse'', but then don't they all. It assumes that the modern college campus is a hotbed, or is it a sinkpit, of moral squalor, exhibitionism, promiscuity, kinky sex and rampant rampantness. Perhaps it is."
10th Jan '17 10:59:04 PM jameygamer
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* ''KingKongLives''

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* ''KingKongLives''''Film/KingKongLives''
10th Jan '17 10:48:46 PM jameygamer
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* ''Key Exchange''
-->"Farce has been defined as the art of creating characters who under no circumstances should be in the same room with one another - and putting them in the same room as soon as possible. There is not yet a definition, however, for a movie like ''Key Exchange'', which creates characters who should be in the same room with one another and then separates them with dreary and predictable artifice. The movie comes dangerously close to exhibiting an IdiotPlot, defined as a plot that would be over in five minutes if everyone in it were not an idiot."
10th Jan '17 10:45:36 PM jameygamer
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* ''Dangerously Close''
-->"At a guess, I'd say the director of ''Dangerously Close'' devoted a great deal of time and thought to how his movie looked, and almost no time at all to what, or who, it was about. This is a technical exercise, a classroom film designed to show that the maker can manipulate the tools of his trade to his own satisfaction. It is arrogant in its indifference to the audience. There is no evidence that ''Dangerously Close'' was intended to communicate anything to anybody. ... What always amazes me about movies like ''Dangerously Close'' is that they don't believe high school kids are young. The characters [[DawsonCasting look and act like men in their 20s]]. The movie has a view of adolescence that is both stupid and irrelevant. Look at a movie like ''Lucas'', which remembers what it was really like to be 13 or 14 or 15, and then go look at ''Dangerously Close'', and you'll think you stumbled into a reunion of Calvin Klein underwear models."
10th Jan '17 10:41:10 PM jameygamer
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* ''Walker''
-->"Some bad movies are in no hurry to announce themselves, but ''Walker'' declares its badness right from the opening titles with gushers of blood streaming from the wounds of men who are appearing (the opening credits promise us) in a "true story." ... Although the ads for ''Walker'' don't even hint it, this movie is apparently intended as a comedy or a satire. I write "apparently" because, if it is a comedy, it has no laughs, and if a satire, no target. ... ...this movie's poverty of imagination has to be seen to be believed."
10th Jan '17 10:31:17 PM jameygamer
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-->"The men in "Tomcats" are surrounded by beautiful women, but they hate and fear them. That alone is enough to sink the film, since no reasonable person in the audience can understand why these guys are so weirdly twisted. But then the film humiliates the women, and we wince when it wants us to laugh. Here is a comedy positioned outside the normal range of human response. ... The movie belongs to an old and tired movie tradition, in which guys are terrified that wedding bells may be breaking up that old gang of theirs (only last week we had ''The Brothers'', an African-American version of the theme, but gentler and nicer). There is always one guy who is already (unhappily) married, one who is threatened with marriage, one who claims he will never marry and then the hero, who wants to marry off the unmarriagable one, to win a bet. This plot is engraved on a plaque in the men's room of the Old Writers' Retirement Home. ... ''Tomcats'' was written and directed by Gregory Poirier, who also wrote ''See Spot Run'' and thus pulls off the neat trick, within one month, of placing two titles on my list of the worst movies of the year. There is a bright spot. He used up all his doggy-do-do ideas in the first picture."

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-->"The men in "Tomcats" ''Tomcats'' are surrounded by beautiful women, but they hate and fear them. That alone is enough to sink the film, since no reasonable person in the audience can understand why these guys are so weirdly twisted. But then the film humiliates the women, and we wince when it wants us to laugh. Here is a comedy positioned outside the normal range of human response. ... The movie belongs to an old and tired movie tradition, in which guys are terrified that wedding bells may be breaking up that old gang of theirs (only last week we had ''The Brothers'', an African-American version of the theme, but gentler and nicer). There is always one guy who is already (unhappily) married, one who is threatened with marriage, one who claims he will never marry and then the hero, who wants to marry off the unmarriagable one, to win a bet. This plot is engraved on a plaque in the men's room of the Old Writers' Retirement Home. ... ''Tomcats'' was written and directed by Gregory Poirier, who also wrote ''See Spot Run'' and thus pulls off the neat trick, within one month, of placing two titles on my list of the worst movies of the year. There is a bright spot. He used up all his doggy-do-do ideas in the first picture."
10th Jan '17 10:28:43 PM jameygamer
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-->"The men in "Tomcats" are surrounded by beautiful women, but they hate and fear them. That alone is enough to sink the film, since no reasonable person in the audience can understand why these guys are so weirdly twisted. But then the film humiliates the women, and we wince when it wants us to laugh. Here is a comedy positioned outside the normal range of human response. ... The movie belongs to an old and tired movie tradition, in which guys are terrified that wedding bells may be breaking up that old gang of theirs (only last week we had "The Brothers," an African-American version of the theme, but gentler and nicer). There is always one guy who is already (unhappily) married, one who is threatened with marriage, one who claims he will never marry and then the hero, who wants to marry off the unmarriagable one, to win a bet. This plot is engraved on a plaque in the men's room of the Old Writers' Retirement Home. ... ''Tomcats'' was written and directed by Gregory Poirier, who also wrote ''See Spot Run'' and thus pulls off the neat trick, within one month, of placing two titles on my list of the worst movies of the year. There is a bright spot. He used up all his doggy-do-do ideas in the first picture."

to:

-->"The men in "Tomcats" are surrounded by beautiful women, but they hate and fear them. That alone is enough to sink the film, since no reasonable person in the audience can understand why these guys are so weirdly twisted. But then the film humiliates the women, and we wince when it wants us to laugh. Here is a comedy positioned outside the normal range of human response. ... The movie belongs to an old and tired movie tradition, in which guys are terrified that wedding bells may be breaking up that old gang of theirs (only last week we had "The Brothers," ''The Brothers'', an African-American version of the theme, but gentler and nicer). There is always one guy who is already (unhappily) married, one who is threatened with marriage, one who claims he will never marry and then the hero, who wants to marry off the unmarriagable one, to win a bet. This plot is engraved on a plaque in the men's room of the Old Writers' Retirement Home. ... ''Tomcats'' was written and directed by Gregory Poirier, who also wrote ''See Spot Run'' and thus pulls off the neat trick, within one month, of placing two titles on my list of the worst movies of the year. There is a bright spot. He used up all his doggy-do-do ideas in the first picture."
10th Jan '17 10:27:14 PM jameygamer
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-->"The men in "Tomcats" are surrounded by beautiful women, but they hate and fear them. That alone is enough to sink the film, since no reasonable person in the audience can understand why these guys are so weirdly twisted. But then the film humiliates the women, and we wince when it wants us to laugh. Here is a comedy positioned outside the normal range of human response."

to:

-->"The men in "Tomcats" are surrounded by beautiful women, but they hate and fear them. That alone is enough to sink the film, since no reasonable person in the audience can understand why these guys are so weirdly twisted. But then the film humiliates the women, and we wince when it wants us to laugh. Here is a comedy positioned outside the normal range of human response. ... The movie belongs to an old and tired movie tradition, in which guys are terrified that wedding bells may be breaking up that old gang of theirs (only last week we had "The Brothers," an African-American version of the theme, but gentler and nicer). There is always one guy who is already (unhappily) married, one who is threatened with marriage, one who claims he will never marry and then the hero, who wants to marry off the unmarriagable one, to win a bet. This plot is engraved on a plaque in the men's room of the Old Writers' Retirement Home. ... ''Tomcats'' was written and directed by Gregory Poirier, who also wrote ''See Spot Run'' and thus pulls off the neat trick, within one month, of placing two titles on my list of the worst movies of the year. There is a bright spot. He used up all his doggy-do-do ideas in the first picture."
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