History Main / ParalyzingFearOfSexuality

20th Mar '18 12:24:58 PM Jeduthun
Is there an issue? Send a Message


Note that while this trope and SexIsEvilAndIAmHorny are sometimes ''caused'' by the same social and psychological mechanisms, they have two very different ways of handling it: SIEAIAH is about ''acting out'' in a way that is self-destructive and/or abusive, while PFOS is about avoiding expressing one's sexuality at all. In either case, the condition may be caused by [[RapeAsBackstory traumatic experiences]], [[MyGirlIsNotASlut restrictive upbringings]], or just extremely low sexual self-esteem (to the point where the person pre-emptively rejects themselves).

to:

Note that while this trope and SexIsEvilAndIAmHorny are sometimes ''caused'' by the same social and psychological mechanisms, they have two very different ways of handling it: SIEAIAH Sex Is Evil And I Am Horny is about ''acting out'' in a way that is self-destructive and/or abusive, while PFOS Paralyzing Fear Of Sexuality is about avoiding expressing one's sexuality at all. In either case, the condition may be caused by [[RapeAsBackstory traumatic experiences]], [[MyGirlIsNotASlut restrictive upbringings]], or just extremely low sexual self-esteem (to the point where the person pre-emptively rejects themselves).
20th Feb '18 7:37:08 AM Random888
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

* Taken to utterly ridiculous levels in ''FanFic/HarryPotterBecomesACommunist'' when Snape, who is portrayed as TheFundamentalist, tries to capture Cho Chang. She successfully defeats him by throwing her naked boobs at him, which causes him to freak out and declare, "The female body is so fucking sinful! You keep those horrible things away from me or I'll go to hell!"
2nd Dec '17 11:17:21 AM DrOO7
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

* Between the horror stories she's been told for years about her older sister and the fact that [[spoiler: the gang-rape really happened to HER]], Literature/MySweetAudrina has this big time.


Added DiffLines:

* [[SoapOpera Soaps]] and other TV dramas like to churn this out whenever a character is raped:
** ''Series/GeneralHospital'''s Karen chalked this up to typical virginal nervousness until she remembered being molested by a boyfriend of her mother's.
21st Oct '17 12:24:31 AM KanekiKun
Is there an issue? Send a Message


* A letter to ''Dear Prudence'' was from a young woman who, despite being married for two years, had never had sex with her husband, due to her parents constantly browbeating her with the belief that sex is disgusting and evil. Oddly enough, [[{{Hypocrite}} said parents somehow managed to have six children despite their attitude]]. ''Do as they say, not as they do.''



* Creator/HansChristianAndersen was allegedly traumatized into this in his youth, resulting in celibacy for the rest of his life, although he nurtured feelings for the Swedish singer Jenny Lind. This happened because he had to bunk in a brothel while still a teenager, and the things he saw and experienced there (different degrees of perversion and depravity), squicked the sensible kid into a severe sexual trauma.
1st Oct '17 3:43:03 PM Malady
Is there an issue? Send a Message


* Zsadist from the ''BlackDaggerBrotherhood'' series has this until ''Lover Awakened'', due to nearly every sexual experience he'd had up to that point being non-consensual on his part. Much of his development is focused on him getting over his many issues regarding this.
* ''Literature/ChroniclesOfTheKencyrath'': It's [[DownplayedTrope|subtle]], but Torisen is a little afraid of his own attraction to Jame. Completely {{Justified|Trope}} by his past relationship with Kallystine. Kallystine was trying her hardest to seduce Torisen for political reasons. Torisen knew this perfectly well, and he hated and resented herů but it seems she ''did'' managed to seduce him for short periods of time despite this. It's implied she managed this by using {{Love Potion}}s. Kallystine was the only past relationship Torisen's had, and so in his his only real experience with his own attraction, it was the result of being drugged and manipulated by someone he hated. As a result, even when he experiences organic attraction to Jame, it partially makes him fear her more.

to:

* Zsadist from the ''BlackDaggerBrotherhood'' ''Literature/BlackDaggerBrotherhood'' series has this until ''Lover Awakened'', due to nearly every sexual experience he'd had up to that point being non-consensual on his part. Much of his development is focused on him getting over his many issues regarding this.
* ''Literature/ChroniclesOfTheKencyrath'': It's [[DownplayedTrope|subtle]], [[DownplayedTrope subtle]], but Torisen is a little afraid of his own attraction to Jame. Completely {{Justified|Trope}} by his past relationship with Kallystine. Kallystine was trying her hardest to seduce Torisen for political reasons. Torisen knew this perfectly well, and he hated and resented herů but it seems she ''did'' managed to seduce him for short periods of time despite this. It's implied she managed this by using {{Love Potion}}s. Kallystine was the only past relationship Torisen's had, and so in his his only real experience with his own attraction, it was the result of being drugged and manipulated by someone he hated. As a result, even when he experiences organic attraction to Jame, it partially makes him fear her more.
24th Sep '17 3:56:27 PM PastaCow
Is there an issue? Send a Message


* If ''ComicBook/JohnnyTheHomicidalManiac'' isn't explicitly asexual, he's this. His outright disgust with human sexuality and aversions to being touched implies that he may very well ''have'' a sexuality but deeply represses it. Given that his arousal is one of the internal forces he lists as wanting to free himself from in his search for autonomy in Book 7 (along with hunger and tiredness), that's probably it.

to:

* If ''ComicBook/JohnnyTheHomicidalManiac'' isn't explicitly asexual, he's this. His outright disgust with human sexuality and aversions aversion to being touched implies that he may very well ''have'' a sexuality but deeply represses it. Given that his arousal is one of the internal forces he lists as wanting to free himself from in his search for autonomy in Book 7 (along with hunger and tiredness), that's probably it.



* Jaenelle in the ''Literature/BlackJewels'' trilogy has this problem after the absolutely horrific abuse she suffered as a child. Naturally she and her love interest manage to work through it eventually.

to:

* Jaenelle in the ''Literature/BlackJewels'' trilogy has this problem after the absolutely horrific abuse she suffered as a child. Naturally Naturally, she and her love interest manage to work through it eventually.



* ''Literature/ChroniclesOfTheKencyrath'': It's [[DownplayedTrope|subtle]], but Torisen is a little afraid of his own attraction to Jame. Completely {{Justified|Trope}} by his past relationship with Kallystine. Kallystine was trying her hardest to seduce Torisen for political reasons. Torisen knew this perfectly well, and he hated and resented herů but it seems she ''did'' managed to seduce him for short periods of time despite this. It's implied she managed this by using {{Love Potion}}s. Kallystine was the only past relationship Torisen's had, and so in his his only real experience with his own attraction, it was the result of being drugged and manipulated by someone he hated. As a result, even when he experiences organic attraction to Jame, it's partially makes him fear her more.

to:

* ''Literature/ChroniclesOfTheKencyrath'': It's [[DownplayedTrope|subtle]], but Torisen is a little afraid of his own attraction to Jame. Completely {{Justified|Trope}} by his past relationship with Kallystine. Kallystine was trying her hardest to seduce Torisen for political reasons. Torisen knew this perfectly well, and he hated and resented herů but it seems she ''did'' managed to seduce him for short periods of time despite this. It's implied she managed this by using {{Love Potion}}s. Kallystine was the only past relationship Torisen's had, and so in his his only real experience with his own attraction, it was the result of being drugged and manipulated by someone he hated. As a result, even when he experiences organic attraction to Jame, it's it partially makes him fear her more.



** A less extreme example wold be Kurt in the second season. As of ''Sexy'', the thought of sex makes him incredibly uncomfortable, preferring to focus purely on romance. Played with in that he didn't appear to have much of a problem with it during season one--but then, after [[WhamEpisode "Never Been Kissed"]].... It is also important to note that at his age, it is ''perfectly normal'' not to feel like you are ready for sex. Everyone develops at a different pace. (As of "The First Time" he's gotten over it.)

to:

** A less extreme example wold would be Kurt in the second season. As of ''Sexy'', the thought of sex makes him incredibly uncomfortable, preferring to focus purely on romance. Played with in that he didn't appear to have much of a problem with it during season one--but then, after [[WhamEpisode "Never Been Kissed"]]....Kissed"]]... It is also important to note that at his age, it is ''perfectly normal'' not to feel like you are ready for sex. Everyone develops at a different pace. (As of "The First Time" he's gotten over it.)



* The Music/PetShopBoys song "It's A Sin" is about the way a domineering Catholic upbringing will instill this in you.

to:

* The Music/PetShopBoys song "It's A Sin" is about the way a domineering Catholic upbringing will instill instil this in you.



* ''Theatre/CyranoDeBergerac'': At Act I Scene V, Cyrano confesses to Le Bret that the only thing he fears in the world is that Roxane will laugh at him when he confesses his love for her. At Act V Scene VI, Cyrano confess that he feared to be mocked by women, implying that he is a CelibateHero. This trope is justified [[FreudianExcuse because in his childhood]], [[TheGrotesque given his enormous nose]], [[MommyIssues Cyrano felt that his mom did not love him]]. The whole idea of being capable of being loved is strange to him.

to:

* ''Theatre/CyranoDeBergerac'': At Act I Scene V, Cyrano confesses to Le Bret that the only thing he fears in the world is that Roxane will laugh at him when he confesses his love for her. At Act V Scene VI, Cyrano confess confesses that he feared to be mocked by women, implying that he is a CelibateHero. This trope is justified [[FreudianExcuse because in his childhood]], [[TheGrotesque given his enormous nose]], [[MommyIssues Cyrano felt that his mom did not love him]]. The whole idea of being capable of being loved is strange to him.



* Ruby of ''Webcomic/StickyDillyBuns'' works through this problem. She has problems with sexuality, and is initially [[http://www.stickydillybuns.com/strips-sdb/turn_around prone to paralysis]]. However, after she's been exposed to a few sexual scenes, it becomes very clear that that she finds {{guy on guy|IsHot}} ''very'' hot, and she moves from total paralysis to [[SelectiveObliviousness deep denial]], while [[http://www.stickydillybuns.com/strips-sdb/very_very_wrong finding more excuses to look]]. Eventually, when her boyfriend (she thinks) proposes sex, [[CharacterDevelopment she decides to go for it--nervously, but not unwillingly]].

to:

* Ruby of ''Webcomic/StickyDillyBuns'' works through this problem. She has problems with sexuality, and is initially [[http://www.stickydillybuns.com/strips-sdb/turn_around prone to paralysis]]. However, after she's been exposed to a few sexual scenes, it becomes very clear that that she finds {{guy on guy|IsHot}} ''very'' hot, and she moves from total paralysis to [[SelectiveObliviousness deep denial]], while [[http://www.stickydillybuns.com/strips-sdb/very_very_wrong finding more excuses to look]]. Eventually, when her boyfriend (she thinks) proposes sex, [[CharacterDevelopment she decides to go for it--nervously, but not unwillingly]].



* Gay and bi people who were brought up with the belief that same-gender attraction is wrong, can end up like this do to [[InternalizedCategorism internalized homophobia]].

to:

* Gay and bi people who were brought up with the belief that same-gender attraction is wrong, wrong can end up like this do due to [[InternalizedCategorism internalized homophobia]].
16th Sep '17 2:16:38 AM Eilevgmyhren
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

* Creator/HansChristianAndersen was allegedly traumatized into this in his youth, resulting in celibacy for the rest of his life, although he nurtured feelings for the Swedish singer Jenny Lind. This happened because he had to bunk in a brothel while still a teenager, and the things he saw and experienced there (different degrees of perversion and depravity), squicked the sensible kid into a severe sexual trauma.
16th Sep '17 12:01:42 AM Eievie
Is there an issue? Send a Message


This is a subtrope of InternalizedCategorism: Alice really can't stand the thought of being one of ''those'' people -- the "[[AllMenArePerverts perverts]]", the "[[MoralGuardians sinners]]", maybe even including anyone who actually ''likes'' sex instead of [[LieBackAndThinkOfEngland doing the proper thing]]. ''However'', the character does ''not'' necessarily think that SexIsEvil. Instead, she might simply [[GoodPeopleHaveGoodSex doubt her own ability to handle it]].

to:

This is a subtrope of InternalizedCategorism: Alice really can't stand the thought of being one of ''those'' people -- people--the [[AllMenArePerverts "perverts"]], the "[[AllMenArePerverts perverts]]", the "[[MoralGuardians sinners]]", [[MoralGuardians "sinners"]], maybe even including anyone who actually ''likes'' sex instead of [[LieBackAndThinkOfEngland doing the proper thing]]. ''However'', the character does ''not'' necessarily think that SexIsEvil. Instead, she might simply [[GoodPeopleHaveGoodSex doubt her own ability to handle it]].



No individual RealLife examples please - structural examples are okay, however.

to:

No individual RealLife examples please - structural please--structural examples are okay, however.



* In the ''Film/{{Maleficent}}'' fanfic ''Fanfic/YourServantMistress'', Maleficent suffers from this. Understandably, as the incidence that makes her go dark in the film is changed into the thing [[RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil that it was symbolic for in the first place]]. As this is an all-human story wherein she and Diaval are in a BDSM - relationship, this makes things very complicated.
* Han Solo for a while in the ''Franchise/StarWars'' fic ''[[https://m.fanfiction.net/s/2717781/1/My-All My All]]''. Entirely justified, as in the fic that preceded it, ''Important Information'', he was repeatedly raped during a horrific torture ordeal. Even after he finally lays his internal struggles with his ordeal and his captor - who somehow seemed to find a way to entire his body when Leia killed her and ended up wreaking havoc on his mind - to rest, it's still some time before he can finally stop seeing his tormentor, release the shame and pain he's held inside, and finally be able to make love to Leia again.

to:

* In the ''Film/{{Maleficent}}'' fanfic ''Fanfic/YourServantMistress'', Maleficent suffers from this. Understandably, as the incidence that makes her go dark in the film is changed into the thing [[RapeIsASpecialKindOfEvil that it was symbolic for in the first place]]. As this is an all-human story wherein she and Diaval are in a BDSM - relationship, BDSM--relationship, this makes things very complicated.
* Han Solo for a while in the ''Franchise/StarWars'' fic ''[[https://m.fanfiction.net/s/2717781/1/My-All My All]]''. Entirely justified, as in the fic that preceded it, ''Important Information'', he was repeatedly raped during a horrific torture ordeal. Even after he finally lays his internal struggles with his ordeal and his captor - who captor--who somehow seemed to find a way to entire his body when Leia killed her and ended up wreaking havoc on his mind - to mind--to rest, it's still some time before he can finally stop seeing his tormentor, release the shame and pain he's held inside, and finally be able to make love to Leia again.



* ''Literature/VorkosiganSaga'': Mark Vorkosigan is tortured into this by his "guardian". Eventually, the legendary Betan therapy helps. Beautiful, lovable -- not to mention brave and understanding -- Kareen Koudelka helps even more.

to:

* ''Literature/VorkosiganSaga'': Mark Vorkosigan is tortured into this by his "guardian". Eventually, the legendary Betan therapy helps. Beautiful, lovable -- not lovable--not to mention brave and understanding -- Kareen understanding--Kareen Koudelka helps even more.



* The protagonist in Creator/KurtVonnegut's "Welcome to the Monkey House" can be considered an instance of this -- with {{rape|PortrayedAsRedemption}} as "cure". She is assured that her initial reluctance is "very typical" and she will Get Over It.

to:

* The protagonist in Creator/KurtVonnegut's "Welcome to the Monkey House" can be considered an instance of this -- with this--with {{rape|PortrayedAsRedemption}} as "cure". She is assured that her initial reluctance is "very typical" and she will Get Over It.



* ''Literature/ChroniclesOfTheKencyrath'': It's [[DownplayedTrope|subtle]], but Torisen is a little afraid of his own attraction to Jame. Completely {{Justified|Trope}} by his past relationship with Kallystine. Kallystine was trying her hardest to seduce Torisen for political reasons. Torisen knew this perfectly well, and he hated and resented herů but it seems she ''did'' managed to seduce him for short periods of time despite this. It's implied she managed this by using {{Love Potion}}s. Kallystine was the only past relationship Torisen's had, and so in his his only real experience with his own attraction, it was the result of being drugged and manipulated by someone he hated. As a result, even when he experiences organic attraction to Jame, it's partially makes him fear her more.
-->''His former consort had been adept at intoxicating the senses, but with an after-taste that had made him both loathe and mistrust his own passion.''



* Laura Dickens from ''Series/TheSandbaggers'' -- according to the staff psychiatrist, it results from a combination of a prudish upbringing with a completely disastrous marriage that only lasted a week. [[spoiler:She's in the process of working through it so she and Neal can build a relationship when she's killed in the season 1 finale]].

to:

* Laura Dickens from ''Series/TheSandbaggers'' -- according ''Series/TheSandbaggers''--according to the staff psychiatrist, it results from a combination of a prudish upbringing with a completely disastrous marriage that only lasted a week. [[spoiler:She's in the process of working through it so she and Neal can build a relationship when she's killed in the season 1 finale]].



* Series/{{Dexter}} deliberately dates a woman with this issue because it suits him down to the ground - he wants [[TheBeard a relationship for passing as normal]] and grows to enjoy the emotional connection, but they are both effectively {{asexual}} at first and that's just the way he likes it. While Dexter does have a sex drive, he's afraid of himself (he's a serial killer, and sometimes get aroused by thoughts of murder and such) and he's also afraid that his girlfriend will see through his facade if they get intimate. He's also faintly repulsed by intimacy (in the novel, deeply repulsed, and also pretty much despises Rita, but they made the TV character much more relatable), and every previous sexual encounter has resulted in his ability to fake normality being totally blown out of the water, since he's emotionally abnormal and spends most of his life going through the motions. [[LateArrivalSpoiler This does not work very well for sex]]. She eventually starts to get over her trauma and get her sex drive back, and with some work they eventually manage to build a functioning sex life together because he does get inadvertently attached to her...and then his emotional life gets a shake-up courtesy of the Season One antagonist and his mind games. In the books it's implied the only reason he and Rita can have a sex life is because she's so damaged from her abusive ex-husband, she can't tell that he's not "doing it right".

to:

* Series/{{Dexter}} deliberately dates a woman with this issue because it suits him down to the ground - he ground--he wants [[TheBeard a relationship for passing as normal]] and grows to enjoy the emotional connection, but they are both effectively {{asexual}} at first and that's just the way he likes it. While Dexter does have a sex drive, he's afraid of himself (he's a serial killer, and sometimes get aroused by thoughts of murder and such) and he's also afraid that his girlfriend will see through his facade if they get intimate. He's also faintly repulsed by intimacy (in the novel, deeply repulsed, and also pretty much despises Rita, but they made the TV character much more relatable), and every previous sexual encounter has resulted in his ability to fake normality being totally blown out of the water, since he's emotionally abnormal and spends most of his life going through the motions. [[LateArrivalSpoiler This does not work very well for sex]]. She eventually starts to get over her trauma and get her sex drive back, and with some work they eventually manage to build a functioning sex life together because he does get inadvertently attached to her...and then his emotional life gets a shake-up courtesy of the Season One antagonist and his mind games. In the books it's implied the only reason he and Rita can have a sex life is because she's so damaged from her abusive ex-husband, she can't tell that he's not "doing it right".



** A less extreme example wold be Kurt in the second season. As of ''Sexy'', the thought of sex makes him incredibly uncomfortable, preferring to focus purely on romance. Played with in that he didn't appear to have much of a problem with it during season one-- but then, after [[WhamEpisode "Never Been Kissed"]].... It is also important to note that at his age, it is ''perfectly normal'' not to feel like you are ready for sex. Everyone develops at a different pace. (As of "The First Time" he's gotten over it.)

to:

** A less extreme example wold be Kurt in the second season. As of ''Sexy'', the thought of sex makes him incredibly uncomfortable, preferring to focus purely on romance. Played with in that he didn't appear to have much of a problem with it during season one-- but one--but then, after [[WhamEpisode "Never Been Kissed"]].... It is also important to note that at his age, it is ''perfectly normal'' not to feel like you are ready for sex. Everyone develops at a different pace. (As of "The First Time" he's gotten over it.)



* Ruby of ''Webcomic/StickyDillyBuns'' works through this problem. She has problems with sexuality, and is initially [[http://www.stickydillybuns.com/strips-sdb/turn_around prone to paralysis]]. However, after she's been exposed to a few sexual scenes, it becomes very clear that that she finds {{guy on guy|IsHot}} ''very'' hot, and she moves from total paralysis to [[SelectiveObliviousness deep denial]], while [[http://www.stickydillybuns.com/strips-sdb/very_very_wrong finding more excuses to look]]. Eventually, when her boyfriend (she thinks) proposes sex, [[CharacterDevelopment she decides to go for it -- nervously, but not unwillingly]].

to:

* Ruby of ''Webcomic/StickyDillyBuns'' works through this problem. She has problems with sexuality, and is initially [[http://www.stickydillybuns.com/strips-sdb/turn_around prone to paralysis]]. However, after she's been exposed to a few sexual scenes, it becomes very clear that that she finds {{guy on guy|IsHot}} ''very'' hot, and she moves from total paralysis to [[SelectiveObliviousness deep denial]], while [[http://www.stickydillybuns.com/strips-sdb/very_very_wrong finding more excuses to look]]. Eventually, when her boyfriend (she thinks) proposes sex, [[CharacterDevelopment she decides to go for it -- nervously, it--nervously, but not unwillingly]].



** A similar arc presents itself in ''Webcomic/DumbingOfAge'', where she's quite happy about being in a relationship with [[StraightGay Ethan]] - she's afraid of her lusts, and he has no interest in pushing her for sex.

to:

** A similar arc presents itself in ''Webcomic/DumbingOfAge'', where she's quite happy about being in a relationship with [[StraightGay Ethan]] - she's Ethan]]--she's afraid of her lusts, and he has no interest in pushing her for sex.



* Men who were brought up with the belief that SexIsEvil and a woman who had sex is DefiledForever, can take this to the logical conclusion that having sex with women is disrespectful in and of itself. See pagequote. If it is deeply ingrained, being told that SexIsGood may not be enough to fix the problem.

to:

* Men who were brought up with the belief that SexIsEvil and a woman who had sex is DefiledForever, can take this to the logical conclusion that having sex with women is disrespectful in and of itself. See pagequote.page quote. If it is deeply ingrained, being told that SexIsGood may not be enough to fix the problem.



* Gay/Bi people who were brought up with the belief that same-gender attraction is wrong, can end up like this do to [[InternalizedCategorism internalized homophobia]].

to:

* Gay/Bi Gay and bi people who were brought up with the belief that same-gender attraction is wrong, can end up like this do to [[InternalizedCategorism internalized homophobia]].
1st Sep '17 12:48:58 PM Freezer
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

* Tina Maxwell of ''Webcomic/NineteenNinetySomething'' is a MoralGuardian of the [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tipper_Gore#Politics_and_activism Tipper Gore]] stripe (turned UpToEleven), who believes any and all portrayals of intimacy are evil and must be stamped out. She tends to get a panicky, manic expression and quickly changes the subject whenever one of her kids asks her anything about sex (up to and including "Why are you freaking out about this?")
24th Jun '17 6:31:34 PM pretzelbetty
Is there an issue? Send a Message


** Interestingly, it's strongly {{Implied}} that [[LovableLibby Quinn]] has this too. She's dates every attractive or popular boy possible, but is never seen physically affectionate with them, and in one episode claims she won't slow-dance until the fifth date. She was also extremely freaked out when she thought that Daria and Tom actually had slept together.

to:

** Interestingly, it's strongly {{Implied}} that [[LovableLibby Quinn]] has this too. She's She dates every attractive or popular boy possible, but is never seen physically affectionate with them, and in one episode claims she won't slow-dance until the fifth date. She was also extremely freaked out when she thought that Daria and Tom actually had slept together.
This list shows the last 10 events of 155. Show all.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Main.ParalyzingFearOfSexuality