History Main / LiteCreme

5th Aug '16 5:15:40 PM OnGreenDolphinStreet
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* The curious candy eater might notice that Tic-Tacs aren't advertised as "sugar-free", but as having "0 grams" of sugar. As manufacturer Ferrero [openly admit](http://www.tictacusa.com/en/faqs), FDA regulations allow them to use the number "0" if the amount of sugar per each serving (that being one mint) is less than 0.5 grams.

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* The curious candy eater might notice that Tic-Tacs aren't advertised as "sugar-free", but as having "0 grams" of sugar. As manufacturer Ferrero [openly admit](http://www.[[http://www.tictacusa.com/en/faqs), com/en/faqs openly admit]], FDA regulations allow them to use the number "0" if the amount of sugar per each serving (that being one mint) is less than 0.5 grams.
28th Jul '16 8:04:56 AM AgProv
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* Website/AdTurds, among many other things to do with deconstructing weasel words in advertising, regularly vilifies examples of such weasel words in advertising.

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* Website/AdTurds, among many other things to do with deconstructing weasel words dishonesty and sloppy standards in advertising, as well as the tendency of ad agencies to treat consumers like dolts, regularly vilifies examples of such weasel words in advertising.
28th Jul '16 8:03:56 AM AgProv
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[[folder: Web Originals]]
* Website/AdTurds, among many other things to do with deconstructing weasel words in advertising, regularly vilifies examples of such weasel words in advertising.
[[/folder]]
5th Jul '16 8:50:16 PM karstovich2
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** The natural almond flavor is mostly caused by the amygdalin, the cyanogenic glycoside common to the whole prune family,[[note]]Almond can actually be considered a huge-seeded, almost fleshless peach grown mainly for its kernel (almond flesh is thin, leathery and inedible).[[/note]] which is metabolysed into sugar, benzaldehyde and hydrogen cyanide, also known as Prussic or bluing acid. Both Prussic acid and benzaldehyde smells are surprisingly similar, so synthetic almond flavor is usually just pure benzaldehyde without the poisonous cyanide. That said, it's not that benzaldehyde is totally safe, though. It's also moderately toxic (the lethal dose for an average human is ~50g), so it's just a matter of choosing a lesser evil.

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** The natural almond flavor is mostly caused by the amygdalin, the cyanogenic glycoside common to the whole prune family,[[note]]Almond can actually be considered a huge-seeded, almost fleshless peach grown mainly for its kernel (almond flesh is thin, leathery and inedible). Indeed, the pits of other members of the prune family--particularly apricots--are used to produce almond-like flavoring.[[/note]] which is metabolysed into sugar, benzaldehyde and hydrogen cyanide, also known as Prussic or bluing acid. Both Prussic acid and benzaldehyde smells are surprisingly similar, so synthetic almond flavor is usually just pure benzaldehyde without the poisonous cyanide. That said, it's not that benzaldehyde is totally safe, though. It's also moderately toxic (the lethal dose for an average human is ~50g), so it's just a matter of choosing a lesser evil.
6th May '16 8:01:38 AM jormis29
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Consumers during the age of mass food production in the 19th century lobbied against artificial foods being sold alongside "normal" food and demanded such food be distinctly labeled; margarine, for example, received a push to be dyed pink so consumers would not confuse it for actual butter, and for a while it was illegal in some places to sell margarine that was dyed butter-yellow (It's naturally white, and even today, margarine is dyed bright yellow whereas natural butter is pale). Company lobbyists learned using LiteCreme was an easy escape, as no one wanted an ominous "artificial" label on their product. Official nutritional labels on products are ''somewhat'' more informative, though overly technical writing can obscure this for the same reasons. Ingredients being listed in decreasing order does not specify actual amounts, nor does the use of several names to indicate variations on essentially the same ingredient.

LiteCreme products may in fact taste like "normal" foods anyway, and brands being sold ''directly'' as food replacements (such as vegan) directly advertise as such. In general, as AllNaturalSnakeOil can tell you, there's nothing particularly wrong with something being a processed food in and of itself, and things that are "natural" can be just as unhealthy as Froot Choco-Cheez. Generally though, Lite Creme in the public image brings to mind bizarre concoctions of usually unhealthy additives.

to:

Consumers during the age of mass food production in the 19th century lobbied against artificial foods being sold alongside "normal" food and demanded such food be distinctly labeled; margarine, for example, received a push to be dyed pink so consumers would not confuse it for actual butter, and for a while it was illegal in some places to sell margarine that was dyed butter-yellow (It's naturally white, and even today, margarine is dyed bright yellow whereas natural butter is pale). Company lobbyists learned using LiteCreme Lite Creme was an easy escape, as no one wanted an ominous "artificial" label on their product. Official nutritional labels on products are ''somewhat'' more informative, though overly technical writing can obscure this for the same reasons. Ingredients being listed in decreasing order does not specify actual amounts, nor does the use of several names to indicate variations on essentially the same ingredient.

LiteCreme Lite Creme products may in fact taste like "normal" foods anyway, and brands being sold ''directly'' as food replacements (such as vegan) directly advertise as such. In general, as AllNaturalSnakeOil can tell you, there's nothing particularly wrong with something being a processed food in and of itself, and things that are "natural" can be just as unhealthy as Froot Choco-Cheez. Generally though, Lite Creme in the public image brings to mind bizarre concoctions of usually unhealthy additives.



** Some turn their LiteCreme appelation into a brand name and put that in big letters on the product, with the real designation in fine print on the bottom. For instance, the law requires "yoghurt" to contain actual yoghurt bacteria. "Frughurt" has no such restrictions.

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** Some turn their LiteCreme Lite Creme appelation into a brand name and put that in big letters on the product, with the real designation in fine print on the bottom. For instance, the law requires "yoghurt" to contain actual yoghurt bacteria. "Frughurt" has no such restrictions.
3rd May '16 11:12:36 PM GoldenSeals
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The implication of qualities or ingredients in a product that aren't there because of certain words or spellings of words that vary from the standard. This is usually done to get around government regulations on truth in advertising laws. This is how you end up with products like fruit/citrus "punch" when a drink contains no actual fruit juice, "choc" or "choco" when something contains little to no actual chocolate, and "creme" spread that contains no dairy cream. The intent of the law was to prevent advertisers from using words like "chocolate" and "cream" to describe products that didn't contain the ingredients mentioned, but the feds didn't count on consumer illiteracy; too many people now assume that "froot with choco creme" is the same thing as "fruit with chocolate cream", and assume they're getting vitamins and minerals they really aren't. And advertisers happily take advantage of it.

to:

The implication of qualities or ingredients in a product that aren't there because of certain words or spellings of words that vary from the standard. This is usually done to get around government regulations on truth in advertising laws. This is how you end up with products like fruit/citrus fruit "punch" when a drink contains no actual fruit juice, "choc" or "choco" when something contains little to no actual chocolate, and "creme" spread that contains no dairy cream. The intent of the law was to prevent advertisers from using words like "chocolate" and "cream" to describe products that didn't contain the ingredients mentioned, but the feds didn't count on consumer illiteracy; too many people now assume that "froot with choco creme" is the same thing as "fruit with chocolate cream", and assume they're getting vitamins and minerals they really aren't. And advertisers happily take advantage of it.



Consumers during the age of mass food production in the 19th century lobbied against artificial foods being sold alongside 'normal' food and demanded such food be distinctly labeled; margarine, for example, received a push to be dyed pink so consumers would not confuse it for actual butter, and for a while it was illegal in some places to sell margarine that was dyed butter-yellow (It's naturally white, and even today, margarine is dyed bright yellow whereas natural butter is pale). Company lobbyists learned using Lite Creme was an easy escape, as no one wanted an ominous 'artificial' label on their product. Official nutritional labels on products are ''somewhat'' more informative, though overly technical writing can obscure this for the same reasons. Ingredients being listed in decreasing order does not specify actual amounts, nor does the use of several names to indicate variations on essentially the same ingredient.

Note Lite Creme products may in fact taste like 'normal' foods, and brands being sold ''directly'' as food replacements (such as vegan) directly advertise as such. In general, as AllNaturalSnakeOil can tell you, there's nothing particularly wrong with something being a processed food in and of itself, and things that are "natural" can be just as unhealthy as Froot Choco-Cheez. Generally though, Lite Creme in the public image brings to mind bizarre concoctions of usually unhealthy additives.

to:

Consumers during the age of mass food production in the 19th century lobbied against artificial foods being sold alongside 'normal' "normal" food and demanded such food be distinctly labeled; margarine, for example, received a push to be dyed pink so consumers would not confuse it for actual butter, and for a while it was illegal in some places to sell margarine that was dyed butter-yellow (It's naturally white, and even today, margarine is dyed bright yellow whereas natural butter is pale). Company lobbyists learned using Lite Creme LiteCreme was an easy escape, as no one wanted an ominous 'artificial' "artificial" label on their product. Official nutritional labels on products are ''somewhat'' more informative, though overly technical writing can obscure this for the same reasons. Ingredients being listed in decreasing order does not specify actual amounts, nor does the use of several names to indicate variations on essentially the same ingredient.

Note Lite Creme LiteCreme products may in fact taste like 'normal' foods, "normal" foods anyway, and brands being sold ''directly'' as food replacements (such as vegan) directly advertise as such. In general, as AllNaturalSnakeOil can tell you, there's nothing particularly wrong with something being a processed food in and of itself, and things that are "natural" can be just as unhealthy as Froot Choco-Cheez. Generally though, Lite Creme in the public image brings to mind bizarre concoctions of usually unhealthy additives.



** A special exemption was made for "Light" olive oil: it still retains its label, and it still has the same caloric content as any other kind of oil--lots, since it's a type of fat. The term refers to its taste and colour: it has a more mild flavour and tends to be a pale yellow-green rather than the deep green of stronger oils. It's not much good on taste, but you can use it for higher-temperature applications than the stronger stuff.
* In regards to food, government regulations prevent using the word "cream" when the product contains none. "Creme" is used whenever the impression of a creamy texture or flavor is desired, but the product in question contains no actual cream or, usually, dairy product (and in some cases, isn't even edible). Creme snack cakes usually contain long-lasting vegetable shortening, giving them a potentially long shelf life. "Creme soda" has a slightly different origin, as it is named after the ''ice cream'' traditionally added to the original drink.
** There is historical precedent for using "creme" (e.g., creme de cassis) or "cream" (cream-style corn, once known as "creamed corn") in reference to nondairy foods that have a more-or-less creamy texture.
* Probably the best known indicator of a lack of any actual food product is the term "Cheez."
** If the phrase "Cheese Food" appears anywhere on the package, it may be neither. It sounds like cheese food isn't cheese, it is what cheese ''eats.'' In fact "Cheese Food" is real cheese... kind of. It consists of at least half melted, reconstituted cheese; and no more than half other, um, things.

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** A special exemption was made for "Light" "light" olive oil: it still retains its label, and it still has the same caloric content as any other kind of oil--lots, oil -- lots, since it's a type of fat. The term refers to its taste and colour: it has a more mild flavour and tends to be a pale yellow-green rather than the deep green of stronger oils. It's not much good on taste, but you can use it for higher-temperature applications than the stronger stuff.
* In regards to food, government Government regulations prevent using use of the word "cream" when the product contains none. "Creme" to describe food products which contain no dairy cream. The word "creme" is used whenever to create the impression of a creamy texture or flavor is desired, but flavor; as such, it's used where the product in question contains no actual cream or, usually, cream, contains no dairy product (and in some cases, products at all, or isn't even edible). Creme snack cakes usually contain long-lasting vegetable shortening, giving them a potentially long shelf life. "Creme soda" has a slightly different origin, as it is named after the ''ice cream'' traditionally added to the original drink.
** There is
edible. There's historical precedent for using "creme" (e.to this sort of thing (''e.g., '' creme de cassis) or "cream" (cream-style corn, once known "Creme" snack cakes usually contain long-lasting vegetable shortening, giving them their [[IndestructibleEdible legendarily long shelf life]]. "Creme soda" has a slightly different origin, as "creamed corn") in reference it's named after the ice cream traditionally added to nondairy foods that have a more-or-less creamy texture.
the original drink.
* Probably the best known indicator of a lack of any actual food product is the term "Cheez."
"cheez".
** If the phrase "Cheese Food" "cheese food" appears anywhere on the package, it may be neither. It sounds like cheese food isn't cheese, it is what cheese ''eats.'' In fact "Cheese Food" fact, "cheese food" is real cheese... kind of. It consists of at least half melted, reconstituted cheese; and no more than half other, half, um, other things.



** When James Kraft invented Velveeta, the words "processed cheese" that appear on the packaging were a compromise with the court system. The rest of the cheese industry had been lobbying to force him to label it "embalmed cheese." Technically, Velveeta is based on a pretty standard cheese ''sauce'' recipe. It's got extra protein (in the form of whey and nonfat dry milk) added, so it'll set up into a semi-solid loaf, and instead of the ''roux'' [[note]]flour fried in oil, used as a thickener[[/note]] a normal cheese sauce uses, it uses a starch-like gum called "alginate". Cheez Whiz is basically the same thing with the cream swapped out for vegetable oil, and flavors like mustard seed and Worcestershire sauce added. Neither is very good for you, mainly because of the salt and fat.[[note]]That is, if you believe these things are bad for you[[/note]]
** There is a "cheez-y" food that is a low-fat Parmesan imitation, for sprinkling on pasta and such. The actual description from the actual label? ''Parmesan''-style ''cheese-grated'' topping. The emphasis is theirs.
*** The actual Kraft Parmesan grated cheese cannot be legally called Parmesan cheese in Europe due to a law allowing only cheese from the Parma region of Italy to bear that name. Kraft got around this restriction by simply calling it "Parma Cheese."
** In Norway, many products named "pizzaost" (ost=cheese) were legally forced to change names, because they legally couldn't call them "cheese". If in Norway, beware: never buy anything called "pizza-topping" or just "revet" (shredded) instead of "revet ost" (shredded cheese).
** For the record: a surprisingly convincing imitation of mozzarella ''can'' be made with just soy milk and some enterprizing use of flavorings, so most of the cheap pizza toppings ''is''.
* Also from Norway, fruit-flavoured "brus" (soda/pop) can only be labelled "appelsinbrus" (orange soda) if they contain a certain percentage of actual juice of the fruit in question. Since they usually don't, they have to be labelled "brus med appelsinsmak" (orange flavoured soda) instead.
* An item can only be labeled as "chocolate" if it contains both cocoa solids/powder and cocoa butter. No such rule exists for foods labeled "chocolate-flavored" or "fudge", so beware.
** "Chocolate-flavored" usually means that the product contains chocolate liquor, but replaces cocoa butter with carnauba wax in order to reduce fat and improve tempering. It's usually better for you than real chocolate, since it doesn't have an edible fat and still contains all the caffeine and serotonin mimics of regular chocolate.
** "Chocolatey". That usually means "Cocoa-flavored lard".
** In Australia, you can sell "Choc". As in "Fondant-filled Choc Bar" or "Sponge cake with choc coating"
** Unfortunately, none of the "chocolate" legal restrictions apply to white chocolate (cocoa butter) in the USA, so most white chocolate sold here... is not.
*** Some candy stores, such as the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory, refer to white chocolate as "white confection." Most people don't seem to care.

to:

** When James Kraft invented Velveeta, the words "processed cheese" that appear on the packaging were a compromise with the court system. The rest of the cheese industry had been lobbying to force him to label it "embalmed cheese." Technically, Velveeta is based on a pretty standard cheese ''sauce'' recipe. It's got extra protein (in the form of whey and nonfat dry milk) added, so it'll set up into a semi-solid loaf, and instead of the ''roux'' [[note]]flour fried in oil, used as a thickener[[/note]] a normal cheese sauce uses, it uses a starch-like gum called "alginate". Cheez Whiz is basically the same thing with the cream swapped out for vegetable oil, and flavors like mustard seed and Worcestershire sauce added. Neither is very good for you, mainly because of the salt and fat.[[note]]That is, if you believe these things are bad for you[[/note]]
fat.
** There is a "cheez-y" food that is a low-fat Parmesan imitation, for sprinkling Cheese on pasta and such. The actual description from the actual label? ''Parmesan''-style ''cheese-grated'' topping. The emphasis is theirs.
*** The actual Kraft Parmesan grated
pizza often isn't real cheese cannot be legally called at all. Grated imitation cheese is often labeled as "pizza topping" or "grated cheese topping". And it's surprisingly easy to make a convincing imitation mozzarella from just soy milk and enterprising use of other flavorings.
** Imitation
Parmesan cheese runs into this in two ways. First is the fact that "Parmesan-style" cheese often isn't real cheese at all, leading to the "pizza topping" thing above. An additional wrinkle in Europe due to a law allowing is that only cheese from the Parma region of Italy to bear that name. can be legally called Parmesan cheese (which Kraft got gets around this restriction by simply by calling it "Parma Cheese."
** In Norway, many products named "pizzaost" (ost=cheese) were legally forced to change names, because they legally couldn't call them "cheese". If in Norway, beware: never buy anything called "pizza-topping" or just "revet" (shredded) instead of "revet ost" (shredded cheese).
** For the record: a surprisingly convincing imitation of mozzarella ''can'' be made with just soy milk and some enterprizing use of flavorings, so most of the cheap pizza toppings ''is''.
* Also from Norway, fruit-flavoured "brus" (soda/pop) can only be labelled "appelsinbrus" (orange soda) if they contain a certain percentage of actual juice of the fruit in question. Since they usually don't, they have to be labelled "brus med appelsinsmak" (orange flavoured soda) instead.
cheese").
* An item can only be labeled as "chocolate" if it contains both cocoa solids/powder and solids or powder ''and'' cocoa butter. No such rule exists for foods labeled "chocolate-flavored", "fudge", or with misspellings like "choc" or "choco". Ironically, "chocolate-flavored" or "fudge", so beware.
** "Chocolate-flavored" usually
often means that the product is somewhat better for you than real chocolate; it often contains chocolate liquor, liquor but replaces cocoa butter with carnauba wax in order to reduce fat and improve tempering. It's usually better for you than real chocolate, since it doesn't have an edible fat wax, which reduces fat, improves tempering, and still contains all the caffeine and serotonin mimics of regular chocolate.
** "Chocolatey". That If you come across "chocolatey", though, that's not good for you -- that usually means "Cocoa-flavored "cocoa-flavored lard".
** In Australia, you can sell "Choc". As in "Fondant-filled Choc Bar" or "Sponge cake with choc coating"
** Unfortunately, none of the legal restrictions on the word "chocolate" legal restrictions apply to white chocolate, which is basically just cocoa butter. Most white chocolate (cocoa butter) in the USA, so most white chocolate sold here... is not.
***
basically... not chocolate. Some candy stores, such as the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory, refer to white chocolate as stores will even just straight-up call it "white confection." confection". Most people don't seem to care.care.
* Some products that claim to be "sugar-free" or "100% fruit juice" -- and ostensibly healthier for you -- will contain sugar anyway. The terms for "cane sugar" aren't set in law; cane sugar and cane syrup can be unprocessed, leaving in the molasses and its nutrients (and a lot of flavor) or pure sucrose (''i.e.'' table sugar) derived from sugar cane rather than sugar beets. If it's not these, it's apparently not sugar.
** They often get around this with "juice extract", which is basically sugar ''extracted'' from juice, so it doesn't count. "Pear juice extract" and "grape juice extract" are two of the biggest culprits here.
** It's also common to fudge with the ''type'' of sugar this way. Producers can claim their products are "sugar-free" when they just lack sucrose and contain a different type of sugar, like fructose or glucose. On the other hand, now that people are catching on to [[UnfortunateIngredients evils of high-fructose corn syrup]], they're touting their products as using "real sugar", even though they're just using glucose, the other half of the sucrose molecule. (Fructose ''is'' worse in inducing obesity, but [[MortonsFork it's much safer for diabetics]].)
** It's even possible to fudge the fruit the juice comes from. Many fruit juices be labeled things like "apricot nectar", "pear cocktail", "lemon drink", "blueberry punch", or "cherry blend". They consist of as little of the top-billed ingredient as legally possible (usually in the form of pulp), large amounts of filler juices (usually apple or white grape), lots of water, and sugar or other sweeteners. But sometimes [[JustifiedTrope it's necessary]], because some juices in their pure form can be unpalatable to drink (like cranberry or lemon juice).



* Creator/GeorgeCarlin had a good routine about this.
-->''"'Lemony taste'. What does that mean? Right. It means '''no fucking lemons'''!"''
* If you see the phrase "juice extract" appearing on the label of a "100% fruit juice" beverage, then no matter what else the package may claim, sugar has been added... but since that sugar was ''extracted'' from juice, it somehow doesn't count. You can even eat a brownie from an alleged "health food" store that contains ''no'' sugar, but copious amounts of "cane juice extract"... yeah. Figure that one out.
** The terms for "cane" sugar aren't law: Cane sugar and cane syrup could be unprocessed, leaving in the molasses and its nutrients (not to mention a lot of flavor) or it could be pure sucrose a la table sugar derived from sugar cane rather than sugar beets.
** "Pear juice extract" and "grape juice extract" are two of the biggest culprits here. In most cases, they just mean "no sucrose," allowing them to claim that there's no sugar while using a slightly different type of sugar instead. Conversely, some companies will take great pains to point out that they ''only'' use real sugar, not high-fructose corn syrup. (Namely, they use glucose -- another half of the common sugar (sucrose) molecule, which consists of glucose and fructose bonded together.)
*** There is in fact a difference. Fructose has clinically shown to induce obesity ''far'' faster than glucose. On the other hand, it is [[MortonsFork much safer for diabetics]].
* Pet food suffers the same problem, where aside from the organization of the ingredient list the qualifiers are regulated but not generally known to the public: "Beef", "Beef Dinner", "Chicken and Beef", "Beef-flavored" all designate an increasingly smaller amount of actual beef.
** Anything labeled "meat byproducts" is ''not meat''. By-products means skin, organs and bone meal; feathers and beaks don't make it that far into the process. Pets don't care, they like that stuff just as much as muscle tissue,[[note]]And let's be honest: dogs, at least, eat ''feces''. '''Their own''' feces. Do you think Fido really cares whether what he's eating is prime rib or, well, ribs? ([[DontExplainTheJoke By which we mean the actual bones called ribs, not the meat around them]].)[[/note]] but depending on which wibbly bits it is, it may not be good for their health if they eat nothing but. If it just says "meat" without specifying what animal it comes from, anything goes.
* On the human food side of things, "Ham", "Ham in natural juices", "Ham, water added", and "Ham and water product" have connotations of less ham, in that order.
** Which is not itself necessarily a bad thing. If you like what's also known as "city ham", as in the moist stuff put on deli sandwiches and served at holidays like Christmas and Easter, "ham in natural juices" is the highest-quality available offering. "Ham", by itself, refers in the United States exclusively to "country ham", which is the dried stuff that has to be either braised to hell and back as its cooking method or else served sliced thin, as in prosciutto di Parma in Italian cuisine. That said, "ham, water added" and especially "ham and water product" pretty much universally denote hambominations.
* If the food in question has chemicals in it, but the chemicals were extracted from naturally occurring plants or fruits or what have you, that food can be marketed as "[[AllNaturalSnakeOil All natural]]". If the food contains ''the exact same chemicals'', but the chemicals were built from scratch, it's artificial now. As one food chemist put it, "'All natural' just means 'we did this inefficiently'".
* "Natural flavors" rarely seems to specify ''which'' flavors. For example, 7-Up currently touts their product as using only natural flavors... and the side of the can also specifies it contains no juice, leading one to wonder exactly what "natural" product is being used to flavor the soda if it's not lime and lemon juice. In many cases, there's no citrus juice in a citrus-flavored food item because the citrus oil (which comes from the rind, rather than the flesh) is a more effective flavoring agent.
** Also, watch word placement -- while "natural flavor" denotes a flavor that is natural, "natural lemon flavor", for example, denotes a natural flavor that tastes "like lemons" but may not necessarily have ever ''been'' lemons. Several members of the mint and sage families have strong citrus components (e.g [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aloysia_citrodora lemon verbena]]). Along with a history of enhancing lemonades and teas, it's possible that such herbs have been used as nondescript "natural flavors".
* The flavoring Vanilla is derived from orchids in the genus ''Vanilla'' native to Mexico. It contains a mixture of several hundred different compounds in addition to vanillin. Vanillin is the major flavor that you can taste from Vanilla. However, if you create vanillin through chemical synthesis, it is labeled an artificial flavor.
** By the way, a lot of "artificial" vanilla extract (especially from Mexico, interestingly enough) is actually "extracted" from ''wood'' as a byproduct of paper making. The chemical they're extracting from the wood is the same as one of the chemicals they extract from vanilla orchids, so don't panic. Of course, the real stuff tastes a lot better but is tremendously more expensive--vanilla is the second-most expensive spice after saffron because of the labor-intensive way of obtaining and curing vanilla beans (actually seed pods), hence the huge demand for cheaper alternatives. Also, while most vanilla flavoring nowadays comes from wood, a small amount of the stuff produced in the world is actually fermented beaver secretions. (This does not harm the beaver--they just let the critter hang around somewhere, then collect the liquids it naturally emits.) This technique has been used for French perfumes for at least 200 years.
* Another common one is "(X) flavour" as in "chocolate-flavour" or "banana-flavour". Something described as "chocolate flavour" likely contains no actual chocolate and may not taste anything like chocolate at all. It's probably the right colour, though. For example: "Strawberry" flavor -- such as that used in Strawberry Yoo-Hoo -- rarely tastes anything like real strawberries. Similarly, "Watermelon Flavor" rarely tastes like real watermelon. And "Peach Flavor"... urgh. The point here is that rather than using real strawberries, the strongest of the thousands of chemicals which give them their flavour -- possibly only one or two -- are isolated or synthesised to give the flavouring agent.
** That's exactly how it is. More realistic artificial flavorings are complex blends of various chemicals that should be carefully balanced to give a proper representation of the taste and aroma profiles of a real deal. Flavor chemists that create them are not unlike perfume makers, and they should have not only a good chemical knowledge, but also well-trained senses of taste and smell, or employ a specialist tasters. Cheaper flavorings, on the other hand, use one or two chemicals that give something broadly similar to the intended product (sometimes ''[[InNameOnly very broadly]]'') and call it a day. Strawberry flavor is notorious for being a very complex blend of various tastes and aromas and is ''very'' difficult to imitate convincingly, so hardly anyone bothers.
* ''"Bac-Os" are vegan.'' There's nothing in them but vegetable matter and artificial additives. They're supposed to be ''bacon bits!'' The ingredients list doesn't so much as say "Natural and artificial flavors". There is something disturbing about an imitation meat product that wasn't made for the specific purpose of being an imitation meat product.\\
\\
[[http://www.baconsalt.com/ Bacon Salt]] actually boasts that it's kosher and vegetarian. The packet for Chicken, Bacon and similar varieties of 'Super Noodles' (isn't that a name that just ''inspires'' confidence?) used to quite ''prominently'' display that they were "suitable for vegetarians". Quite skewed advertising priorities there. There are types of ''cream cheese frosting'' that are vegan. And "creme" cookies.\\
\\
Oreos are vegan. The creme is palm oil.
* Long John Silver's, a fast food seafood restaurant, advertises that they serve langostino lobster, another term for squat lobster, a species closer to ''hermit crabs'' than what we would think of as lobsters.
** This is pretty common in marketing sea food. When it was discovered that the evil-sounding Patagonian Toothfish could be profitably raised in fish farms, its name got transmogrified into "Chilean sea bass" on the way to the grocery store, and "dolphinfish" became "mahi mahi".
** Not that it always a bad thing. King crabs, for example, have, strictly speaking, ''nothing'' to do with true crabs, belonging to the entirely different family of crustaceans, and are biologically closer to crayfish than to real crabs. It doesn't change the fact that it's one of the most sought after crab varieties and commands large premiums in the market.
* "Vegan" [=/=] "Vegetarian" is dangerous when preceding a food product that shouldn't be. Vegan apples are fine, vegan mashed potatoes probably good, vegan [[Film/ScottPilgrimVsTheWorld chicken parmesan]]... not so much. Often overlaps with "food product", as in "Vegan Frozen Dessert Product". In fairness, the people buying vegan chicken parmesan usually want a meat substitute (although given that [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parmigiana eggplant parmesan]] is a thing and at least as traditional as the chicken version, you really do wonder why it has to include ''two'' substitutes and not just one).
** Which is why it will probably be labeled, at least in the US, "Chik'n".
* In New York, wine can only be sold in dedicated liquor stores. Grocery stores can sell beverages that are up to 6% alcohol by volume, including beer, hard cider, and "wine products." Please don't confuse Chateau Diana Wine Product for actual wine.
** Many US jurisdictions make a distinction between beer/wine and hard liquor, with licensing and fees being stricter for the latter. However, you can buy drinks that are essentially identical to mixed drinks at beer/wine stores, the only distinction being that the alcohol comes from a "malt beverage" (beer without the hops or anything that makes beer good) process rather than vodka.
** Similarly, in Russia drinks with less than 7% abv are legally classed as beer, and could be sold in any grocery store (though not in the roadside kiosks), while anything stronger requires a liquor license. Quite counterintuitively, this has little consequences, as acquiring a liquor license is not difficult and just requires paying a bit more than for a beer license, so most stores get them as well.
* In Canada, buying "maple butter" is definitely better than buying "map-o-spread". Speaking of maple products, be careful when buying maple syrup in the US. "Real Maple Syrup" is not. "Maple Syrup", by contrast, is. And "Natural Maple Syrup" is just a bad idea. If you don't want to worry about it (and who does?), just get corn syrup. But not "Corn-Flavored Syrup", which is neither corn syrup, nor delicious.\\
\\
Look for the USDA sticker and classification in the US. If it says Grade A/B Light/Medium/Dark Amber, it's good. (But if you're really particular, pay close attention to the label. Dark Amber has a much stronger maple flavor than Light Amber.)\\
\\
Not surprisingly, the Canadian government has an entire sub-department dedicated to ensuring the purity and quality of Canadian-produced maple syrup. Any hint of a company selling ersatz maple syrup will bring the wrath of God (or at least the Department of Agriculture - sometimes they're hard to tell apart) down on someone's sorry head.
* In Mexico, you can find a fried taco-like snack where one of the flavors is not "guacamole", but "''huakamolez''". The description reads something like "Huakamolez-flavored rolled fried corn snacks." Mmmm ... Whack-A-Mole flavor. For some reason, in the Netherlands, it's really hard to find guacamole that has more than a few percent of actual avocados.
** The reason is very simple. Avocados don't keep that well, so they're usually hellishly expensive outside of Mexico (or their other producer countries for that matter--one of the main reasons most of the US gets fresh avocados at all is that California and to a lesser extent New Mexico, Texas, and Florida are avocado country, so the fruit can be shipped while still (relatively) good).
* If you're looking for fruit juice from something other than apples, grapes, pineapples, or oranges, it's very improbable you'll find it. Instead, you're likely to see things such as "apricot nectar," "pear cocktail," "lemon drink," "blueberry punch," and "cherry blend." All of these will probably consist of as little of the top-billed ingredient as legally possible (usually in the form of pulp,) large amounts of filler juices (usually apple or white grape), lots of water, and sugar or other sweetener.\\
\\
Some of this is justifiable, because not all juices are good to drink. It's not hard to find lemon or lime juice, but they are ingredients, not beverages. And cranberry juice is unpalatable by itself. A lot of unsweetened juices from the more exotic fruits (meaning basically anything -- not apples, grapes, oranges, or pineapples) do serve as a non-alcoholic alternative to wine, as their taste can be similar enough for the (presumed) intended purpose.
** Ironically with some of these juices, the higher-quality ones have significant amounts of cane sugar while the "100% Juice [flavor of] Cranberry" only taste like their filler juices.
* Boneless chicken nuggets with hot sauce on them tend to be called "wyngs" or "wingz."
** These are sometimes marketed as "tenders," meant to be evocative of tenderloins without actually promising to be that particular cut of meat. They're likely processed from scraps from breasts, thighs, and others that were trimmed away from other cuts. "Breast tenders" and "white meat tenders" are similarly evocative of tenderloins.
** Unlike the meat from a pig or cow where the tenderloin name actually means the most tender piece of the animal's meat, a chicken tenderloin is functionally identical to the breast for food purposes. If you cut chicken breast into tenderloin sized pieces then cooked it no-one could tell the difference. Butchers usually include the tenderloin when they sell bulk breast chicken. Pick between breast and tenderloin based solely on price and what you are doing with the chicken.

to:

* Creator/GeorgeCarlin had a good routine about this.
-->''"'Lemony taste'. What does that mean? Right. It means '''no fucking lemons'''!"''
* If you see the phrase "juice extract" appearing on the label of a "100% fruit juice" beverage, then no matter what else the package may claim, sugar has been added... but since that sugar was ''extracted'' from juice, it somehow doesn't count. You can even eat a brownie from an alleged "health food" store that contains ''no'' sugar, but copious amounts of "cane juice extract"... yeah. Figure that one out.
** The terms for "cane" sugar aren't law: Cane sugar and cane syrup could be unprocessed, leaving in the molasses and its nutrients (not to mention a lot of flavor) or it could be pure sucrose a la table sugar derived from sugar cane rather than sugar beets.
** "Pear juice extract" and "grape juice extract" are two of the biggest culprits here. In most cases, they just mean "no sucrose," allowing them to claim that there's no sugar while using a slightly different type of sugar instead. Conversely, some companies will take great pains to point out that they ''only'' use real sugar, not high-fructose corn syrup. (Namely, they use glucose -- another half of the common sugar (sucrose) molecule, which consists of glucose and fructose bonded together.)
*** There is in fact a difference. Fructose has clinically shown to induce obesity ''far'' faster than glucose. On the other hand, it is [[MortonsFork much safer for diabetics]].
* Pet food suffers the same problem, where aside from the organization of the ingredient list the this problem as well, as qualifiers are regulated but not generally known to the public: "Beef", "Beef Dinner", "Chicken public. In decreasing order of beef content, you'll find: "beef", "beef dinner", "chicken and Beef", "Beef-flavored" all designate an increasingly smaller amount of actual beef.
** Anything labeled "meat byproducts" is ''not meat''. By-products means skin, organs
beef", and bone meal; feathers and beaks don't make it that far into the process. Pets don't care, they like that stuff just as much as muscle tissue,[[note]]And let's be honest: dogs, at least, eat ''feces''. '''Their own''' feces. Do you think Fido really cares whether what he's eating is prime rib or, well, ribs? ([[DontExplainTheJoke By which we mean the actual bones called ribs, not the meat around them]].)[[/note]] but depending on which wibbly bits it is, it may not be good for their health if they eat nothing but. "beef-flavored". If it just says "meat" without specifying what animal it comes from, an animal, anything goes.
goes. Pet food also contains a startling amount of "meat byproducts", which technically aren't meat at all -- they're skin, organs, and bone meal, so animal parts, but not muscle (not that your pet cares, and it's not ''that'' bad for them anyway).
* On the human food side side, again, in descending order of things, "Ham", "Ham ham content: "ham", "ham in natural juices", "Ham, "ham with water added", and "Ham and water product" have connotations of less ham, in that order.
** Which is not itself necessarily a bad thing. If you like what's also known as "city ham", as in the moist stuff put on deli sandwiches and served at holidays like Christmas and Easter, "ham in natural juices" is the highest-quality available offering. "Ham", by itself, refers in the United States exclusively to "country ham", which is the dried stuff that has to be either braised to hell and back as its cooking method or else served sliced thin, as in prosciutto di Parma in Italian cuisine. That said, "ham, water added" and especially
"ham and water product" pretty much universally denote product". The first two are okay, as the first refers to dry country ham while the second refers to moister deli-style ham. The second two are total hambominations.
* If the food in question has Flavorings and chemicals in it, but will often be touted as "all-natural", which has a whole host of problems outside the chemicals were AllNaturalSnakeOil trope:
** The biggest is that artificial and natural flavors are chemically ''identical''. The difference is that artificial flavors are built from scratch in a lab, whereas as natural flavors are
extracted from naturally occurring plants or fruits or what have you, that food can be marketed as "[[AllNaturalSnakeOil All natural]]". If the food contains ''the exact same chemicals'', but the chemicals were built from scratch, it's artificial now. As one food chemist put it, "'All natural' just means 'we did this inefficiently'".
*
plant matter -- which is more expensive and inefficient. It's not ''better'' for you.
**
"Natural flavors" flavor" rarely seems to specify specifies ''which'' flavors. flavors''. For example, 7-Up currently touts their product as using only natural flavors... and the side of the can also specifies it contains no juice, leading one to wonder exactly what "natural" product is being used to flavor the soda if it's not lime and lemon juice. In many cases, instance, there's often no citrus juice in a citrus-flavored food item because the citrus oil (which oil, which comes from the rind, rind rather than the flesh) flesh, is a more effective flavoring agent.
agent. This is how 7-Up can simultaneously tout itself as using only natural flavors and at the same time containing no juice.
** Also, watch word Word placement -- while is also an issue. "Natural flavor" means what's described above; "natural flavor" denotes a flavor that is natural, "natural lemon ''lemon'' flavor", for example, denotes though, is a natural flavor that tastes "like lemons" but may not necessarily have ever ''been'' lemons. Several members of the mint and sage families have strong citrus components (e.g (''e.g.'' [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aloysia_citrodora lemon verbena]]). Along with a history verbena]]) have strong citrus components, as it happens.
** And to add insult to injury, these flavors -- whether natural or artificial -- rarely taste anything like what they're supposed to imitate. This is because the flavors
of enhancing lemonades actual fruits and teas, it's possible that such herbs have been used as nondescript "natural flavors".
are hideously complex blends of up to thousands of chemicals, which are tricky (and expensive) to make in a lab. What cheap producers often do is simply isolate the few strongest chemicals in the flavor and synthesize that. This is how you get "strawberry flavor" InNameOnly.
* The Vanilla flavoring Vanilla is derived from orchids in the genus ''Vanilla'' ''vanilla'', native to Mexico. It contains a mixture of several hundred compounds, including vanillin, the most powerful chemical one can taste in vanilla. Extracting it is even harder than usual because it is very labor-intensive (and the vanilla beans are thus stupid expensive), so there are a few different compounds in addition ways to vanillin. Vanillin is the major flavor that you can taste from Vanilla. However, if you create get around this:
** Synthesize
vanillin through chemical synthesis, it in a laboratory (which is labeled now an artificial flavor.
** By the way, a lot of
"artificial" vanilla extract (especially flavor);
** Extract the same chemical
from Mexico, interestingly enough) is actually "extracted" from ''wood'' wood as a byproduct of paper making. The chemical they're extracting from the wood is the same as one of the chemicals they extract from vanilla orchids, so don't panic. Of course, the real stuff tastes a lot better making -- less sexy, but is tremendously more expensive--vanilla is the second-most expensive spice after saffron because of the labor-intensive way of obtaining fairly effective; or
** Collect
and curing vanilla beans (actually seed pods), hence the huge demand for cheaper alternatives. Also, while most vanilla flavoring nowadays comes from wood, a small amount of the stuff produced in the world is actually fermented ferment [[{{Squick}} beaver secretions. (This does not harm the beaver--they just let the critter hang around somewhere, then collect the liquids it naturally emits.) This secretions]], a technique has been also used for French perfumes for at least 200 years.
* Another common one is "(X) flavour" as in "chocolate-flavour" or "banana-flavour". Something described as "chocolate flavour" likely contains There are no actual chocolate and may not taste anything like chocolate at all. It's probably the right colour, though. For example: "Strawberry" flavor -- such as that used in Strawberry Yoo-Hoo -- rarely tastes anything like real strawberries. Similarly, "Watermelon Flavor" rarely tastes like real watermelon. And "Peach Flavor"... urgh. The point here is that rather than using real strawberries, the strongest of the thousands of chemicals which give them their flavour -- possibly only one or two -- are isolated or synthesised to give the flavouring agent.
** That's exactly how it is. More realistic artificial flavorings are complex blends of various chemicals that should be carefully balanced to give a proper representation of the taste and aroma profiles of a real deal. Flavor chemists that create them are not unlike perfume makers, and they should have not only a good chemical knowledge, but also well-trained senses of taste and smell, or employ a specialist tasters. Cheaper flavorings,
rules on the other hand, use one or two chemicals that give calling an animal something broadly similar to the intended product (sometimes ''[[InNameOnly very broadly]]'') and call it a day. Strawberry flavor is notorious for being a very complex blend of various tastes and aromas and is ''very'' difficult to imitate convincingly, so hardly anyone bothers.
* ''"Bac-Os" are vegan.'' There's nothing in them but vegetable matter and artificial additives. They're supposed to be ''bacon bits!'' The ingredients list doesn't so much as say "Natural and artificial flavors". There is something disturbing about an imitation meat product that wasn't made for the specific purpose of being an imitation meat product.\\
\\
[[http://www.baconsalt.com/ Bacon Salt]] actually boasts that
it's kosher and vegetarian. The packet for Chicken, Bacon and similar varieties of 'Super Noodles' (isn't that a name that not just ''inspires'' confidence?) used to quite ''prominently'' display that they were "suitable for vegetarians". Quite skewed advertising priorities there. There are types of ''cream cheese frosting'' that are vegan. And "creme" cookies.\\
\\
Oreos are vegan. The creme is palm oil.
* Long John Silver's, a fast food seafood restaurant, advertises that they serve langostino lobster, another term for squat lobster, a species closer
make it sound more appetizing to ''hermit crabs'' than what we would think of as lobsters.
** This is pretty common in marketing sea food. When it was discovered that
people. Therefore, the evil-sounding Patagonian Toothfish could be profitably raised in fish farms, its name got transmogrified into toothfish is better known as "Chilean sea bass" on the way to the grocery store, and bass", "dolphinfish" became becomes "mahi mahi".
** Not that it always a bad thing. King crabs, for example, have, strictly speaking, ''nothing'' to do with true crabs, belonging to the entirely different family of crustaceans,
mahi", and are "king crab" is promoted as such despite biologically being closer to crayfish than to real crabs. It doesn't change None of this, though, detracts from the fact that it's one actual quality of the most sought after crab varieties and commands large premiums in the market.
product.
* "Vegan" [=/=] "Vegetarian" is does not equal "vegetarian", so it's dangerous when preceding you see a food "vegan" product that really shouldn't be. Vegan apples are fine, be vegan mashed potatoes probably good, vegan (like "vegan [[Film/ScottPilgrimVsTheWorld chicken parmesan]]... not so much. Often overlaps with "food product", as in "Vegan Frozen Dessert Product". In fairness, the people buying vegan chicken parmesan usually want a meat substitute (although given that [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parmigiana eggplant parmesan]] is a thing and at least as traditional as the chicken version, you really do wonder why it has to include ''two'' substitutes and not just one).
** Which
parmesan]]"). This is why it will probably be labeled, at least in the US, "Chik'n".
* In New York, wine can only be sold in dedicated liquor stores. Grocery stores can sell beverages that are up to 6% alcohol by volume, including beer, hard cider,
you get such products as "vegan frozen dessert product" and "wine products." Please don't confuse Chateau Diana Wine Product for actual wine.
**
"vegan chik'n".
*
Many US jurisdictions make a distinguish hard liquor from beer and wine, with stricter regulation of the former. In some (like the US), the distinction between beer/wine and hard liquor, is drawn from how it's made, so you end up with licensing and fees being stricter for the latter. However, you can buy drinks things that are essentially identical to basically mixed drinks at beer/wine stores, the only distinction being that sold in beer and wine stores because the alcohol comes from a "malt beverage" (beer (''i.e.'' beer [[ATankardOfMooseUrine without the hops or anything else that makes beer good) process rather than vodka.
** Similarly, in Russia drinks with less than 7% abv are legally classed as beer, and could be sold in any grocery store (though not in
good]]). In others (like Russia), the roadside kiosks), while line is on alcohol by volume, so anything stronger requires a liquor license. Quite counterintuitively, this has little consequences, below that limit -- whatever it's made of -- is legally classified as acquiring a liquor license "beer".
* Maple syrup
is not difficult SeriousBusiness in places that produce it, like Canada and just requires paying a bit more than the northeastern U.S. As such, they both have extensive classification schemes for a beer license, so most stores get them as well.
* In Canada, buying "maple butter" is definitely better than buying "map-o-spread". Speaking of
the real deal. Canada comes down hard on Ersatz maple products, be careful when buying maple syrup syrup, so serious is the business there. But in the US. "Real Maple Syrup" is not. US, it's surprising what you can get away with. "Maple Syrup", by contrast, is. And "Natural Maple Syrup" syrup" is just a bad idea. If you don't want to worry about it (and who does?), just get corn syrup. But not "Corn-Flavored Syrup", which is neither corn syrup, nor delicious.\\
\\
the real deal. "Real maple syrup" and "natural maple syrup" are ''not''. Look instead for the USDA sticker and classification in the US. If it says Grade US (Grade A/B Light/Medium/Dark Amber, it's good. (But if you're really particular, pay close attention to the label. Dark Amber has a much stronger maple flavor than Light Amber.)\\
\\
Not surprisingly, the Canadian government has an entire sub-department dedicated to ensuring the purity and quality of Canadian-produced maple syrup. Any hint of a company selling ersatz maple syrup will bring the wrath of God (or at least the Department of Agriculture - sometimes they're hard to tell apart) down on someone's sorry head.
Amber).
* In Mexico, you can find a fried taco-like snack where one of the flavors is not "guacamole", but "''huakamolez''". The description reads something like "Huakamolez-flavored rolled fried corn snacks." Mmmm ... Whack-A-Mole flavor. For some reason, in the Netherlands, it's really hard to find guacamole that has more than a few percent of actual avocados.
** The reason is very simple.
Avocados don't keep that well, so they're usually are infamous for not keeping well and thus being hellishly expensive outside of Mexico (or their other producer countries for that matter--one of the main reasons most avocado-producing regions, which is basically Mexico, California, and parts of the US gets fresh avocados at all is that California and southwest. "Guacamole" products in places far from there tend to a lesser extent New Mexico, Texas, and Florida are have relatively little avocado country, so the fruit can be shipped while still (relatively) good).
* If you're looking for fruit juice from something other than apples, grapes, pineapples, or oranges, it's very improbable you'll find it. Instead, you're likely to see things such as "apricot nectar," "pear cocktail," "lemon drink," "blueberry punch," and "cherry blend." All of these will probably consist of as little of the top-billed ingredient as legally possible (usually
in the form of pulp,) large amounts of filler juices (usually apple or white grape), lots of water, and sugar or other sweetener.\\
\\
Some of this is justifiable, because not all juices are good to drink. It's not hard to find lemon or lime juice, but they are ingredients, not beverages. And cranberry juice is unpalatable by itself. A lot of unsweetened juices from the more exotic fruits (meaning basically anything -- not apples, grapes, oranges, or pineapples) do serve as a non-alcoholic alternative to wine, as their taste can be similar enough for the (presumed) intended purpose.
** Ironically with some of these juices, the higher-quality ones have significant amounts of cane sugar while the "100% Juice [flavor of] Cranberry" only taste like their filler juices.
* Boneless chicken nuggets with hot sauce on them tend
them. In Mexico itself, Ersatz guacamole has to be called "wyngs" "huakamolez" flavor.
* Chicken "nuggets", "tenders",
or "wingz."
** These
"wyngz" are sometimes marketed promoted as "tenders," meant such to be evocative of tenderloins without actually promising to be that particular cut of meat. obfuscate where on the chicken the meat comes from. They're likely processed from scraps from of breasts, thighs, and others that were trimmed away from other cuts. "Breast That means that even "breast tenders" and "white meat tenders" are similarly evocative of tenderloins.
** Unlike the meat from a
seemingly offer better cuts than they really do. "Tenders" is particularly deceptive, because unlike pig or cow meat, where the tenderloin name actually means "tenderloin" refers to the most tender piece of meat on the animal's meat, a animal, chicken tenderloin is functionally identical to the breast for food purposes. If you cut chicken breast into tenderloin sized pieces then cooked it no-one could tell the difference. Butchers usually include the tenderloin when they sell bulk breast chicken. Pick between breast and tenderloin based solely on price and what you are doing with the chicken.breast.



* In the United States, Apple Juice means ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin. However, apple Drink, anything labelled Orange Drink, Grape Drink, etc. is likely to be mostly sugar water with a small amount of juice, sometimes 2% juice. Sometimes none, just artificial flavor.
* The dairy aisle of many grocery stores also has Chocolate Drink right next to the Chocolate Milk. (Sure, it has real chocolate, but not much else.)
* In the U.S., Whole Wheat bread does not mean it is just whole grains. Unless a product says 100% Whole Wheat or 100% Whole Grain, it can be 1% whole grain and 99% refined grain. There are products that say "Made with grains." You know what else is? Soda pop. Also, any grain product that includes the USDA Food Pyramid is probably a refined grain.
** And your standard "wheat bread" you find in stores is the same as the white bread, just with molasses for coloring.
* In Australia, look out for "Reconstituted Orange Juice". If it's the first ingredient, it basically means that it's diluted. One outrageous example is a brand that advertises itself as "Only Juice". The ingredients list has multiple preservatives and artificial flavours.
** Not only diluted, but ''powdered'' (or at least concentrated) first. That's the main meaning of the term "reconstituted".

to:

* In the United States, Apple Juice means ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin. However, apple Drink, anything labelled Orange Drink, Grape Drink, etc. is likely to be mostly sugar water with a small amount of juice, sometimes 2% juice. Sometimes none, just artificial flavor.
* The dairy aisle of many grocery stores also has Chocolate Drink right next to the Chocolate Milk. (Sure, it has real chocolate, but not much else.)
* In the U.S., Whole Wheat bread
"Whole wheat bread" does not mean that it is just contains ''only'' whole grains. Unless a product says 100% Whole Wheat or 100% Whole Grain, it grains -- that's "100% whole wheat". Just "whole wheat" can be mean as little as 1% whole grain and 99% refined grain. There are products that say "Made with grains." You know what else is? Soda pop. Also, any grain product that includes the USDA Food Pyramid is probably a refined grain.
** And your standard
Some "wheat bread" you find in stores is the same as the basically white bread, just bread with molasses added for coloring.
* In Australia, look out for "Reconstituted Orange Juice". If it's the first ingredient, it basically means that it's diluted. One outrageous example is a brand that advertises itself as "Only Juice". The ingredients list has multiple preservatives and artificial flavours.
** Not only diluted, but ''powdered'' (or at least concentrated) first. That's the main meaning of the term "reconstituted".
coloring.



** "Potted Meat Food Product": Something that's so bad, they don't even come up with a brand name for it.
** There is also the Mexican hot dog manufacturer [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FUD_%28food%29 FUD]] (pronounced "food"), a budget brand.
* In Hungary there is "morning drink" and "cocoa drink" that look like milk but contain none, and "cocoa milk mass" that looks like chocolate but contains none. (The actual "D-Lite" phenomenon is nonexistent because the language doesn't allow most words to be spelled in multiple ways, but the usage of "inexact" words and circumscription serves the same purpose.)
* You can often find a product in grocery stores sold next to the ice cream, in containers indistinguishable from the ice cream containers, that is rather unnervingly not referred to as "ice cream" but as "frozen dairy dessert", mainly because it doesn't contain any cream or for that matter any milk fat at all. And then, to provide for the same creamy consistency they put a lot of synthetic additives there.
** In most cases there are very few, as they are not needed. The producers simply use margarine instead of butter and turn a skim milk into "cream" with vegetable oil and egg/soy lecithin.
** Similarly, many confections (pre-packaged cones and bars, for instance) now proudly sport themselves as "Light ice cream". This is a bit of an inversion of the trope, however, as they haven't changed any recipes but are instead now happily showing off to a health-conscious public what was once a turn-off to the customers, under the (often-correct) assumption that if you're going to be eating ice cream there's no sense in being "light" about it.
** In 2008, Nestlé began cutting costs in its Dreyer's/Edy's ice cream brands by switching out milk and cream with skim milk and whey (a byproduct of cheese), respectively. This is labeled "frozen dairy dessert".

to:

** "Potted Meat Food Product": Something that's so bad, they don't even come up with a brand name for it.
** There is also the Mexican hot dog manufacturer [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FUD_%28food%29 FUD]] (pronounced "food"), a budget brand.
* In Hungary there is "morning drink" and "cocoa drink" that look like milk but contain none, and "cocoa milk mass" that looks like chocolate but contains none. (The actual "D-Lite" phenomenon is nonexistent because the language doesn't allow most words to be spelled in multiple ways, but the usage of "inexact" words and circumscription serves the same purpose.)
* You can often find a product in grocery stores sold next to the ice cream, in containers indistinguishable from the ice cream containers, that is rather unnervingly not referred to as "ice cream" but as "frozen dairy dessert", mainly because it doesn't contain any cream or -- or, for that matter matter, any milk fat at all. And then, to provide for the same creamy consistency they put a lot of They achieve creaminess through synthetic additives there.
** In most cases there are very few, as they are not needed. The producers simply use margarine instead of butter and turn a skim milk into "cream" with vegetable oil and egg/soy lecithin.
** Similarly, many confections (pre-packaged cones and bars, for instance) now proudly sport themselves as "Light ice cream". This is a bit of an inversion of the trope, however, as they haven't changed any recipes but are instead now happily showing off to a health-conscious public what was once a turn-off to the customers, under the (often-correct) assumption that if you're going to be eating ice cream there's no sense in being "light" about it.
** In 2008, Nestlé began cutting costs in its Dreyer's/Edy's ice cream brands by switching out milk and cream with skim milk and whey (a byproduct of cheese), respectively. This is labeled "frozen dairy dessert".
additives.



* An actual medical doctor who specialises in diet is a ''dietician''. Anyone can call themselves a "nutritionist" -- the term simply describes a particular kind of quack.
** As [[http://youtu.be/uRqB5-egs1s?t=3m52s Dara O'Briain points out,]] "dietician" is like "dentist", whereas "nutritionist" is like "tootheologist".

to:

* An actual medical doctor who specialises in diet is a ''dietician''. Anyone can call themselves a "nutritionist" -- the term simply describes a particular kind of quack.
**
quack. As [[http://youtu.be/uRqB5-egs1s?t=3m52s Dara O'Briain points out,]] "dietician" is like "dentist", whereas "nutritionist" is like "tootheologist".



** Vegetable oil, on the other hand, can mean ''any'' of the thousands of different oils of plant origin. But mostly it's either soy, corn or sunflower. Note that all of these are technically made from seeds -- actual vegetables have usually too little oil to think of, except olives and avocados--and botanically, those are fruit.
*** Canola oil is the more common ingredient for vegetable oil. There is no such vegetable as canola, it's just an easier name to market than 'genetically modified rapeseed'.
*** Canola needn't to be genetically modified. Technically, it's an abbreviation of "[=CANadian=] Oil Low Acid", referring to the unpleasantly bitter and reportedly mildly toxic (its health effects are now disputed) erucic acid, that makes rapeseed oil unpalatable as of itself. So the oil from any low-erucic varieties of rape (2% in Canada and US, 5% in Europe), be they genetically modified, or simply bred for low-EA content, could be named canola. Well, technically only if produced in Canada, but it long has become a genericized trademark.
* Smart Balance describes 2% milk as having "more saturated fat than a small order of french fries". What they don't say is that french fries are cooked in partially hydrogenated soybean oil (less saturated fat than butter or lard, usually; more than regular soybean oil), or that the big problem with french fries is the calories.
* Russia has a strict food labeling regulations, so visiting a supermarket can in a pinch substitute for a food processing class. For example only milk that never been through any modification (except fat separation) could be legally labeled "milk". If some milk fat was added to it, it's "normalized milk", if it was powdered at some point, it's "reconstituted milk", etc. So to escape stigma producers immediately turned to the same trick as Americans -- they proudly display their (slightly modified) appellation as a ''brand'', putting the real designation down there in a ''very'' fine print.
** "Yoghurt" needs to contain actual yoghurt bacteria, or else it doesn't count. "Frughurt" etc. on the other hand...
** Condensed milk with sugar is basically Russia's peanut butter for all means and purposes. As such is even has a somewhat affectionate nickname of "condensey" (''zguschenka''). Pretty convenient to put that nickname on the cover, because as it does not feature the word "milk" it does not need to contain any milk.
** The Russian surrogate makers have managed to turn to their advantage the liberal (almost to the same degree as in Italian language) use of diminutives in Russian. Thus "smetana" (sour cream) is at least supposed to be a real deal, but "smetanka" (which, by the way doesn't mean "little (pack or jar of) sour cream", but is only used in a mildly affectionate context) may and does contain any amount of vegetal thickeners and fats.
** There is also a substantive vs adjective trick. It seems that the use of substantive nouns is subject to regulations, but the use of adjectives isn't. It has lead to some rebrandings, with a creme'n'froots "Chudo-tvorog" (literally "Wonder cottage cheese") becoming "Tvorozhnoye chudo" (lit. "Cottage-cheeseous wonder").
** The more common use of this trick is adjectivization + the word "product", "drink" and so on. "Kvassous drink" is not kvass, "butterous spread" is not butter, "chocolateous product" is not chocolate and "mayonnaiseous sauce" is not mayonnaise.
** Another trick is archaic or pseudo-archaic spelling, i.e. [[YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe Ye Olde Butcherede Russiane]]. "ПортвейнЪ" (roughly, "Ye Porte Whynne") is not port wine, but rather [[ATankardOfMooseUrine bum wine]], probably produced from the byproducts of canning fruit.
** Let's not even mention the product called "Partwine 777". Even the actual "Port Wine 777" is shoddy bum wine. "Partwine" is a 16% solution of ethanol with chemical flavoring.
** There are even weirder cases. Until the regulations were introduced, a mix of goat and cow milk had been marketed as "Goat milk". Since then, it's labelled (as per regs) as the "Goat quality" (believe us, it sounds as funny in Russian as it does in English).
** Similarly, in Israel, milk with additives such as vitamins, iron and calcium must be labeled as a "milk drink" instead of just milk. This means that by Israeli standards, virtually ''all'' milk sold in the United States would have to be sold as "milk drink" because American milk is generally enriched with Vitamin D, and all skimmed or partially skimmed milk is also enriched with Vitamin A.
* In late 2010, it was claimed that the "beef" in Taco Bell's food actually consisted of about 35% beef and the rest various chemicals, and thus couldn't be legally classified as beef. The chain subtly got around this by using the word "beefy" in their ads. A surprising number of people, particularly dietitians and some more scientifically minded foodies, actually applauded the revelation.
** Though they could have reduced it to 33% and claimed that their tacos et al. contain "B33f."
** Taco Bell says its taco filling contains 88 percent USDA-inspected beef and the rest is water, spices and a mixture of oats, starch and other ingredients that contribute to what it calls the "quality of its product." Note that almost all processed prepared beef has spices and fillers. One of those fillers is silicon dioxide (AKA ''[[EatDirtCheap sand]]'', though they claim it's not). Also, for comparison, the Taco Meat in Jack in the Box tacos is about half beef and half Soy Protein.
** Likewise, some of its in-store posters proclaim the "Mexican-inspired" selections available.
* A common myth about UsefulNotes/KentuckyFriedChicken is that the chain's name [[http://www.snopes.com/horrors/food/kfc.asp was changed to KFC, because they're not legally allowed to include "Chicken" in the title.]] The rumors said that Yum! Foods, the umbrella company that owns KFC, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut, had genetically engineered "Creature 57", variously suspected to be a headless and eight-legged chicken or some sort of shmoo-like monstrosity whose flesh could be processed in different ways to create the various meat-ish substances that their various chains use. For the record, they actually changed it because of the negative consumer connotations that went along with the word "Fried". The chicken you get there is just that--chicken. Not even the "mechanically recovered chicken" in the burger chains' nuggets; just, chicken--it's rather hard to take chicken meat off the bones, process it, then stick it ''back'' on the bones. If you want a whole cut of meat at a fast-food chain, you probably want to be at a place like KFC that sells fried chicken on the bone. (This isn't to say that the fried chicken is any better--just that it's likely to be an entire cut of bird like you'd get from your own butcher or grocery store.)
** Jokesters around the world, on the other hand, took off with the rumor, insisting that the name-change went on not because it wasn't chicken, or because of the bad rap of the word "fried", but because of the negative connotations of the word ''[[DeepSouth Kentucky]]''.
*** There is a modicum of truth in this. In an attempt to make money, the state of Kentucky trademarked their name. To use it, they would have needed to pay licensing fees.
* A certain [[BlatantLies ''healthful'' chocolate cereal]] contains as its first ingredient "Organic, All-Natural Evaporated Cane Juice". Which is basically a really, really fancy and circumlocutory way to say "sugar".

to:

** Vegetable oil, on the other hand, * "Vegetable oil" can mean ''any'' any of the thousands of different oils of plant origin. But origin, but mostly it's either soy, corn corn, or sunflower. Note that all of these are technically sunflower oil. More often than not, they're made from seeds -- actual vegetables have usually too little oil to think of, except olives and avocados--and botanically, those seeds, which are fruit.
*** Canola oil is the more
botanically fruit rather than vegetables. And another common ingredient ingredient, canola oil, doesn't even exist naturally.[[note]]"Canola" stands for vegetable oil. There is no such vegetable as canola, it's just an easier name to market than 'genetically modified rapeseed'.
*** Canola needn't to be genetically modified. Technically, it's an abbreviation of "[=CANadian=] Oil Low Acid", referring to the unpleasantly bitter and reportedly mildly toxic (its health effects are
'''CAN'''adian '''O'''il '''L'''ow '''A'''cid, now disputed) erucic acid, that makes rapeseed oil unpalatable as of itself. So the oil from any low-erucic varieties of rape (2% in Canada and US, 5% in Europe), be they genetically modified, or simply bred for low-EA content, could be named canola. Well, technically only if produced in Canada, but it long has become a genericized trademark.
* Smart Balance describes 2% milk as having "more saturated fat than
trademark, referring to a small order type of french fries". What they don't say is that french fries are cooked in partially hydrogenated soybean rapeseed oil (less saturated fat than butter or lard, usually; more than regular soybean oil), or that that's often procured through genetic modification.[[/note]]
* Russian food producers avoid
the big problem with french fries is the calories.
* Russia has a
country's strict food labeling regulations, so visiting a supermarket can regulations in a pinch substitute for a food processing class. For example only milk that never been through any modification (except fat separation) could be legally labeled "milk". If some milk fat was added to it, it's "normalized milk", if it was powdered at some point, it's "reconstituted milk", etc. So to escape stigma producers immediately turned to the same trick as Americans -- they proudly display several innovative ways:
** Some turn
their (slightly modified) appellation as LiteCreme appelation into a ''brand'', putting brand name and put that in big letters on the product, with the real designation down there in a ''very'' fine print.
** "Yoghurt" needs
print on the bottom. For instance, the law requires "yoghurt" to contain actual yoghurt bacteria, or else it doesn't count. bacteria. "Frughurt" etc. on the other hand...
** Condensed milk with sugar is basically Russia's peanut butter for all means and purposes. As
has no such is even has a somewhat affectionate nickname of "condensey" (''zguschenka''). Pretty convenient to put that nickname on the cover, because as it does not feature the word "milk" it does not need to contain any milk.
restrictions.
** The Some will use Russian surrogate makers have managed to turn to their advantage diminuitives, which are technically different words and outside the liberal (almost to the same degree as in Italian language) use of diminutives in Russian. Thus "smetana" labeling requirement. "Smetana" (sour cream) is at least supposed has to be a the real deal, but deal; the diminuitive "smetanka" (which, by the way doesn't mean "little (pack or jar of) sour cream", but is only used in a mildly affectionate context) may and does can easily contain any amount all sorts of vegetal thickeners and fats.
additives.
** There is also Some turn a substantive vs adjective trick. It seems that the use of substantive nouns is subject to regulations, but the use of adjectives isn't. It has lead to some rebrandings, with a creme'n'froots "Chudo-tvorog" (literally "Wonder cottage cheese") becoming "Tvorozhnoye noun into an adjective, creating something like "tvorozhnoye chudo" (lit. "Cottage-cheeseous wonder").
** The more common
(''lit.'' "cottage-cheesy wonder"). There's no regulation on what a "wonder" could be, so there you go. It works somewhat better than English use of this trick is adjectivization + the word "product", "drink" and so on. "Kvassous drink" "product" (which is not kvass, "butterous spread" is not butter, "chocolateous product" is not chocolate and "mayonnaiseous sauce" is not mayonnaise.
never a good sign on your food).
** Another trick is archaic or pseudo-archaic spelling, i.Archaic appelations, ''i.e. '' [[YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe Ye ye Olde Butcherede Russiane]].Russiane]] are surprisingly common. "ПортвейнЪ" (roughly, "Ye Porte Whynne") is not port wine, but rather [[ATankardOfMooseUrine bum wine]], probably produced from the byproducts of canning fruit.
** Let's not even mention the product called "Partwine 777". Even the actual "Port Wine 777" is shoddy bum wine. "Partwine" is a 16% solution of ethanol with chemical flavoring.
** There
* Fast food chains are even weirder cases. Until the regulations were introduced, a mix often accused of goat and cow milk had been marketed as "Goat milk". Since then, it's labelled (as per regs) as the "Goat quality" (believe us, it sounds as funny in Russian as it does in English).
** Similarly, in Israel, milk with additives such as vitamins, iron and calcium must be labeled
using this trope as a "milk drink" instead way of just milk. This means that by Israeli standards, virtually ''all'' milk sold in the United States would have to be sold as "milk drink" because American milk is generally enriched with Vitamin D, and all skimmed or partially skimmed milk is also enriched with Vitamin A.
*
disguising their products' ingredients:
**
In late 2010, it was claimed that the Taco Bell's "beef" in Taco Bell's food actually consisted was accused of about consisting only of 35% beef and beef, with the rest various chemicals, assorted chemicals and thus filler, and which couldn't be legally be classified as beef. The claim is that the chain subtly got around this by using the meaningless word "beefy" in their ads. A surprising number of people, particularly dietitians and some more scientifically minded foodies, actually applauded the revelation.
** Though they could have reduced it to 33% and claimed that their tacos et al. contain "B33f."
**
"beefy". Taco Bell says that its taco filling contains 88 percent 88% USDA-inspected beef and beef, with the rest is being water, spices and a mixture of spices, oats, starch starch, and other filler ingredients that contribute to what it calls the "quality of its product." Note that -- this is common for almost all processed prepared beef has spices and fillers. One of those fillers is silicon dioxide (AKA ''[[EatDirtCheap sand]]'', though they claim it's not). Also, for comparison, the Taco Meat in Jack in the Box tacos is about half beef and half Soy Protein.
beef.
** Likewise, some of its in-store posters proclaim the "Mexican-inspired" selections available.
*
A common myth about UsefulNotes/KentuckyFriedChicken is that the chain's name [[http://www.snopes.com/horrors/food/kfc.asp was changed to KFC, because they're not legally allowed to include "Chicken" in the title.]] The rumors said that Yum! Foods, the umbrella company that owns KFC, Taco Bell, and Pizza Hut, had genetically engineered "Creature 57", variously suspected to be a headless and eight-legged chicken or some sort of shmoo-like monstrosity whose flesh could be processed in different ways to create the various meat-ish substances that their various chains use. For the record, they actually changed it because of the negative consumer connotations that went along with the word "Fried". The chicken you get there is just that--chicken. Not even the "mechanically recovered chicken" in the burger chains' nuggets; just, chicken--it's rather hard to take chicken meat off the bones, process it, then stick it ''back'' on the bones. If you want a whole cut of meat at a fast-food chain, you probably want to be at a place like KFC that sells fried chicken on the bone. (This isn't to say that the fried chicken is any better--just that it's likely to be an entire cut of bird like you'd get from your own butcher or grocery store.)
** Jokesters around the world, on the other hand, took off with the rumor, insisting that the name-change went on not because it wasn't chicken, or because of the bad rap of the word "fried", but because of the negative connotations of the word ''[[DeepSouth Kentucky]]''.
*** There is a modicum of truth in this. In an attempt to make money,
"fried" (and the state of Kentucky trademarked their name. To use it, they would have needed to pay licensing fees.
* A certain [[BlatantLies ''healthful'' chocolate cereal]] contains as its first ingredient "Organic, All-Natural Evaporated Cane Juice". Which is basically a really, really fancy and circumlocutory way to say "sugar".
opportunistically trademarking the name).
23rd Mar '16 11:39:45 AM nombretomado
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* In the early 90s ComedyCentral briefly had a show called ''Comedy Product''.

to:

* In the early 90s ComedyCentral Creator/ComedyCentral briefly had a show called ''Comedy Product''.



* In ''WillAndGrace'' the eponymous pair dine at a restaurant which serves Lobbster stuffed with Cheeeeese.
* One episode of ''TheDrewCareyShow'' had him accidentally buying his girlfriend a box of "beljan chorklet".

to:

* In ''WillAndGrace'' ''Series/WillAndGrace'' the eponymous pair dine at a restaurant which serves Lobbster stuffed with Cheeeeese.
* One episode of ''TheDrewCareyShow'' ''Series/TheDrewCareyShow'' had him accidentally buying his girlfriend a box of "beljan chorklet".
19th Mar '16 3:28:09 AM Hossmeister
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18th Mar '16 10:17:10 PM Hossmeister
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9th Mar '16 6:26:17 AM Khathi
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Added DiffLines:

** The natural almond flavor is mostly caused by the amygdalin, the cyanogenic glycoside common to the whole prune family,[[note]]Almond can actually be considered a huge-seeded, almost fleshless peach grown mainly for its kernel (almond flesh is thin, leathery and inedible).[[/note]] which is metabolysed into sugar, benzaldehyde and hydrogen cyanide, also known as Prussic or bluing acid. Both Prussic acid and benzaldehyde smells are surprisingly similar, so synthetic almond flavor is usually just pure benzaldehyde without the poisonous cyanide. That said, it's not that benzaldehyde is totally safe, though. It's also moderately toxic (the lethal dose for an average human is ~50g), so it's just a matter of choosing a lesser evil.
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