History Main / KlatchianCoffee

15th Jun '16 8:15:06 PM karstovich2
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* Black teas are the tea equivalent, especially the strong, tannic Ceylon, Assam and Kenyan teas favored for "English Breakfast" blends, due to their strong taste and caffeine content compared to green and oolong teas. There's a reason why people add milk and sugar in countries where these teas are popular, such as India and the U.K. Too much of the average black tea can cause the same problems as coffee can. The only "advantage" using black tea over Coffee is that pure black tea tastes less intense so more people will drink it. A cup of black tea still has nowhere near the caffeine that a cup of coffee does, only containing the same amount as a can of cola. The L-theanine in tea takes the edge off as well.

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* Black teas are the tea equivalent, especially the strong, tannic Ceylon, Assam and Kenyan teas favored for "English Breakfast" blends, due to their strong taste and caffeine content compared to green and oolong teas. There's a reason why people add milk and sugar in countries where these teas are popular, such as India and the U.K. Too much of the average black tea can cause the same problems as coffee can. The only "advantage" using this sort of rather strong black tea over Coffee coffee is that pure black tea tastes less intense so more people will drink it. A cup of black tea still has nowhere near the caffeine that a cup of coffee does, only containing the same amount as a can of cola. The L-theanine in tea takes the edge off as well. Additionally, the strong, tannic blends marketed as "English Breakfast" and "Irish Breakfast" tea do indeed go perfectly with the actual Full English/Full Irish fry-up.
27th May '16 9:51:55 PM ImpudentInfidel
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* ''Literature/CiaphasCain'''s Valhallans have tanna, the 40K version of chifir (Russian prison tea). Cain downs the stuff without a problem, while Veil says it's definitely an acquired taste.

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* ''Literature/CiaphasCain'''s Valhallans have tanna, the 40K version of chifir (Russian prison tea). Cain downs the stuff without a problem, while Veil says it's definitely an acquired taste. It becomes a running gag that if he goes more than a day without it he gets mild withdrawal symptoms and enough of a craving that he'll ask about it as soon as meets Valhallans again; after an event early in his career where he fought half-way across a planet after jokingly claiming it was to get some his aid started carrying a supply at all times.
27th May '16 8:17:56 PM SpukiKitty
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-->'''CROW:''' ''"SUUUUUUUURRRRRRRGGGEEEEE!!!!"''
25th May '16 4:43:43 PM BiffJr
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* Possibly the closest thing to Klatchian coffee isn't actually based on coffee. It's a type of tea, called [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chifir%27 chifir']]. Chifir' is a perennial favourite in Russian prisons, and is made by taking two or three tablespoons of tea per person, pouring it on top of boiling water, and letting it boil for 15 minutes. The prisoners then drink 2 sips of it. Each. Anything more can cause heart attacks due to its caffeine content it is an entirely possible side effect of a caffeine overdose. Because boiling tends to extract tannins and glycosides in addition to the caffeine, this brew is also ''extremely'' bitter and strongly constipating.
** As a general rule Russians brew tea in two steps. First a so called "zavarka" is prepared an extremely strong brew (generally around five tablespoons per 1 liter of water), which is then diluted to taste by each drinker (traditionally using hot water from a [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samovar samovar]]). Some don't dilute it at all and this extra strong tea is called "kupets" (merchant).

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* Possibly the closest thing to Klatchian coffee isn't actually based on coffee. It's a type of tea, called [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chifir%27 chifir']]. Chifir' is a perennial favourite in Russian prisons, and is made by taking two or three tablespoons of tea per person, pouring it on top of boiling water, and letting it boil for 15 minutes. The prisoners then drink 2 sips of it. Each. Anything more can cause heart attacks due to its caffeine content it is an entirely possible side effect of a nonlethal caffeine overdose. Because boiling tends to extract tannins and glycosides in addition to the caffeine, this brew is also ''extremely'' bitter and strongly constipating.
** As a general rule Russians brew tea in two steps. First a so called "zavarka" is prepared an extremely strong brew (generally around five tablespoons per 1 liter of water), which is then diluted to taste by each drinker (traditionally using hot water from a [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samovar samovar]]). Some don't dilute it at all and this extra strong tea is called "kupets" (merchant).
constipating.



** This tea is also consumed in Sudan and Yemen. Yemen is interesting, because they also chew ''qat'', which is essentially [[ThisIsYourPremiseOnDrugs caffeine on cocaine]].[[note]]Well, not quite; qat, or khat, is the leaf of the ''Catha edulis'' plant, which contains cathinone, which is a bit more like amphetamine than cocaine. The general effects are more or less the same.[[/note]]
** One should also remember that making Chifir' with sugar qualifies as attempted suicide because of how hard on the heart it is.



* [=RedBull=][[note]]As well as the ''[[FollowTheLeader many]]'' energy drinks created after its success.[[/note]]
** Sighted on Facebook by way of the "Funny Status" app: "I put Red Bull in my coffee pot this morning instead of water. Right now, [[TastesLikePurple I can see noises.]]"
** [[DeceptivelySimpleDemonstration It's nothing "magical"]]: a normal can (250ml) of Red Bull is as strong as a strong and similar sized cup of coffee[[note]]one Red Bull can has ~80mg of caffeine, the same quantity of instant coffee between 27mg and 170mg, it depends on how it's brewed[[/note]], yet the sweet taste and coolness during hot summer months may push the hapless guy to drink comparatively much more Red Bull than coffee, up to 4-6 cans (1-1.5 ''liters'') in a single sitting -it does not help that [[http://www.informacionmercadona.es/wp-content/uploads/EnergeticoHacendado.jpg certain]] [[http://i.imgur.com/avbvR4nh.jpg energy drinks]] come in bottles of 1.5 liters too-. Which may be fatal for someone who has increased blood pressure or a heart condition.



*** This is called cold brew and it has become wildly popular as of 2014-2015. There are many recipes and special equipment for it, but it can be as simple or complex as you care to make it.
* In real life, combining lots of caffeine with lots of alcohol (to use the trope names, mixing Klatchian Coffee ''with'' a GargleBlaster) tends to produce some rather dangerous effects, to the point that it's hard to to tell which set of effects on which life-critical system (namely, your heart or your lungs) will kill you first. The worst part is that the conflicting buzzes prevent you from knowing your limits on either. Thus, one of the nastier "overdoses" to show up in First World emergency departments is the "Red Bull and Vodka" (or substitute your favored local caffeine-and-ethanol concoction) OD - which results in an unconscious patient with a very deadly combination of supraventricular tachycardia and respiratory failure. In response to this class of incident, the FDA in November 2010 clamped down on drinks like Four Loko and Joose by setting limits on the amount of caffeine that can be in the drinks.
** The only way to top this required replacing caffeine with cocaine, which is several times more potent stimulant. In combination with ethanol in the body, cocaine can also produce a stimulant called cocaethylene, which may have a stronger cardiac effect than plain cocaine. This vile decoct was actually called "the trench cocktail" (окопный коктейль ''okopniy kokteyl''), because it was introduced as a military stimulant during WWI. During the Russian Civil War, such an alcohol-cocaine tincture was very popular among Baltic Fleet sailors (a primary Revolutionary muscle) as a stimulant and rumored cure-it-all. Given the typhoid fever outbreak that was raging around at the time, these sailors might've been up to something, though. It's also known as "Baltic Tea", a neologism coined by the modern writer Creator/VictorPelevin.
** The other unfortunate side effect is this can, and has, led to a sort of home brew version of roid rage where drinkers become, for lack of a better word, overstimulated and go off the show from the combination of the caffeine hit and alcohol impairment.

to:

*** This is called cold brew and it has become wildly popular as of 2014-2015. There are many recipes and special equipment for it, but it can be as simple or complex as you care to make it.
* In real life, combining lots of caffeine with lots of alcohol (to use the trope names, mixing Klatchian Coffee ''with'' a GargleBlaster) tends to produce some rather dangerous effects, to the point that it's hard to to tell which set of effects on which life-critical system (namely, your heart or your lungs) will kill you first. The worst part is that the conflicting buzzes prevent you from knowing your limits on either. Thus, one of the nastier "overdoses" to show up in First World emergency departments is the "Red Bull and Vodka" (or substitute your favored local caffeine-and-ethanol concoction) OD - which results in an unconscious patient with a very deadly combination of supraventricular tachycardia and respiratory failure. In response to this class of incident, the FDA in November 2010 clamped down on drinks like Four Loko and Joose by setting limits on the amount of caffeine that can be in the drinks.
** The only way to top this required replacing caffeine with cocaine, which is several times more potent stimulant. In combination with ethanol in the body, cocaine can also produce a stimulant called cocaethylene, which may have a stronger cardiac effect than plain cocaine. This vile decoct was actually called "the trench cocktail" (окопный коктейль ''okopniy kokteyl''), because it was introduced as a military stimulant during WWI. During the Russian Civil War, such an alcohol-cocaine tincture was very popular among Baltic Fleet sailors (a primary Revolutionary muscle) as a stimulant and rumored cure-it-all. Given the typhoid fever outbreak that was raging around at the time, these sailors might've been up to something, though. It's also known as "Baltic Tea", a neologism coined by the modern writer Creator/VictorPelevin.
** The other unfortunate side effect is this can, and has, led to a sort of home brew version of roid rage where drinkers become, for lack of a better word, overstimulated and go off the show from the combination of the caffeine hit and alcohol impairment.



* As noted above, Turkish coffee. It's served in small cups and can give even hardened caffeine addicts a noticeable buzz. Drink the sludge at the bottom if you're brave and have a toothbrush handy.
* Comedian Ralphie May talks about his first run-in with [[http://youtu.be/eH4ZpwTse-g Cuban coffee.]] Of course, he drank way too much, as as he put it "for the first 30 minutes, I could see into the future!" and then promptly [[PottyFailure crapped his pants]] when he was done. [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuban_espresso Its wikipedia page]] as well as similar [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vietnamese_iced_coffee Vietnamese]] and [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_filter_coffee South Indian.]]

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* As noted above, Turkish *Turkish coffee. It's served in small cups and can give even hardened caffeine addicts a noticeable buzz. Drink the sludge at the bottom if you're brave and have a toothbrush handy.
* Comedian Ralphie May talks about his first run-in with [[http://youtu.be/eH4ZpwTse-g Cuban coffee.]] coffee. Of course, he drank way too much, as as he put it "for the first 30 minutes, I could see into the future!" and then promptly [[PottyFailure crapped his pants]] when he was done. [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuban_espresso Its wikipedia page]] as well as similar [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vietnamese_iced_coffee Vietnamese]] and [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indian_filter_coffee South Indian.]]



* Averted with espresso shots. They actually have less caffeine per shot than a cup of drip coffee.
25th May '16 4:35:09 PM BiffJr
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* The reason that caffeine is not heavily regulated is because it has a very high [=LD50=]; to kill about 50% of people who drink it, they need to ingest between 150 and 200 milligrams of caffeine per kilogram of body weight -- so 80-100 cups of coffee for the average adult. Thus there is about two orders of magnitude difference between the amount necessary to feel its effects and the amount necessary to cause death. Side effects such as jitteriness set in much sooner, and beyond that it's hard to actually consume that much caffeine quickly enough to cause harm without much of it being processed by the body, broken down, and excreted. (This is why all documented instances of caffeine poisoning arise from people taking caffeine in some kind of artificially extremely concentrated form, e.g. pills.)
* This is the reason espresso mugs are only 4oz.
* Consuming too much caffeine will result in shaking, vomiting, and anxiety attacks. Try drinking a two liter bottle of Farmers Union or using the whole jar for one cup (or better yet, [[DontTryThisAtHome don't,]] read on for why) induces nausea, sickness and diarrhea.
** Additionally, the withdrawal effects of even relatively minor caffeine addiction include shaking, intense headaches, upset stomach, and insomnia.
** "Too much" may translate to any amount of coffee, if ingested on an empty stomach. There is a reason people drink their coffee ''after'' a meal.
25th May '16 4:33:24 PM BiffJr
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* [[http://youtu.be/eH4ZpwTse-g Ralphie May]] describes his first experience with Cuban Coffee. By his description, an ounce is equal to about five shots of espresso and are normally served in "baby doll tea-cups", which some can only drink half of. He didn't know that and demanded a full cup (equal to 84 shots of espresso). It took 25 minutes to brew, was far more expensive than he expected, did not change color when cream was added, took 30 minutes to drink, caused instant PottyFailure as soon as he stood up, and left him shaking for ''98 hours.''

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* [[http://youtu.be/eH4ZpwTse-g Ralphie May]] May describes his first experience with Cuban Coffee. By his description, an ounce is equal to about five shots of espresso and are normally served in "baby doll tea-cups", which some can only drink half of. He didn't know that and demanded a full cup (equal to 84 shots of espresso). It took 25 minutes to brew, was far more expensive than he expected, did not change color when cream was added, took 30 minutes to drink, caused instant PottyFailure as soon as he stood up, and left him shaking for ''98 hours.''
19th May '16 2:01:06 AM Chabal2
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* ''Literature/CiaphasCain'''s Valhallans have tanna, the 40K version of chifir (Russian prison tea). Cain downs the stuff without a problem, while Veil says it's definitely an acquired taste.
2nd May '16 9:16:32 AM JackG
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* ''Series/StarTrekVoyager''. Given that MustHaveCaffeine is a RunningGag for Captain Janeway, it's not surprising that years of experience has enabled LethalChef Neelix to come up with some potent alien blends. [[UnCoffee Despite some early disasters.]]
18th Apr '16 2:40:57 AM Seraph
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** Garfield has been known to drink coffee so strong, [[http://garfield.com/comics/vault.html?yr=1997&addr=970611 it can even eat a donut]]... or [[AteTheSpoon the spoon(s)]] [[http://garfield.com/comics/vault.html?yr=1987&addr=871201 he uses to stir it.]]
** He also likes coffee so thick that after a few seconds of pouring, [[http://garfield.com/comics/vault.html?yr=1984&addr=840529 you can let go of the coffeepot and it won't fall.]]
** [[http://garfield.com/comics/vault.html?yr=1987&addr=871020 In one strip:]]

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** Garfield has been known to drink coffee so strong, [[http://garfield.com/comics/vault.html?yr=1997&addr=970611 com/comic/1997-06-11 it can even eat a donut]]... or [[AteTheSpoon the spoon(s)]] [[http://garfield.com/comics/vault.html?yr=1987&addr=871201 com/comic/1987-12-01 he uses to stir it.]]
** He also likes coffee so thick that after a few seconds of pouring, [[http://garfield.com/comics/vault.html?yr=1984&addr=840529 com/comic/1984-05-29 you can let go of the coffeepot and it won't fall.]]
** [[http://garfield.com/comics/vault.html?yr=1987&addr=871020 com/comic/1987-10-20 In one strip:]]
25th Mar '16 4:05:15 PM LondonKdS
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* In the ''Series/{{Farscape}}'' episode "Dream A Little Dream", Rygel gives Chiana some stimulant pills as a hangover cure, warning her not to take the whole lot. Chiana, [[TheLadette being Chiana]], naturally does, and spends the following scene spectacularly tweaking out.
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