History Main / JasperCarrott

1st Oct '13 1:32:00 AM Antwan
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Veteran British stand-up comedian (real name Robert Davis) who has been performing since the 1970s. He is also a folk singer and incorporates this into his act, both conventional comic songs and also VisualPun or LiteralMinded gags such as ''(strums guitar)'' "#Unforgettable..." ''(trails off with confused, searching look)''

He grew up in Acocks Green, Birmingham, alongside a lifelong friend Bev Bevan, who found fame himself with the pop group The Move and its sucessor the ElectricLightOrchestra. Indeed, at one point Bob Davis might have been a guitarist with the Move, but was edged out of consideration by the more accomplished RoyWood. This freed him up to go solo as a singer-performer on the folk circuit, luckily for the rest of us. As with MikeHarding and BillyConnolly, he discovered the patter in between songs was appreciated more than the songs themselves, and as a result the spoken bits became longer, and the songs got further apart and more offbeat.

His comedy is focused on observational humour and he is particularly adept at weaving a story and carrying the audience along with him. A native of Birmingham and sporting a Brummie accent, some of his earlier routines were about the trials of supporting the not very successful football team, Birmingham FC. He was also the first and best-remembered host of ''Commercial Breakdown'', TheBBC's programme about amusing and unusual adverts from overseas (ironically, TheBBC itself doesn't carry advertising). He has starred alongside Robert "Jesus Christ" Powell in ''TheDetectives'' and Meera Syal and Nina Wadia of ''GoodnessGraciousMe'' in the multicultural sitcom ''All About Me''.

Although a successful comic, he made his fortune through his production company Celador (supposedly named for what many non-English speakers consider to be the most incongruously beautiful sound in English, 'cellar door') which has seen such prominent successes as ''WhoWantsToBeAMillionaire''. He retired from stand-up in 2004 after a series of performances in Birmingham going through his best material of the past, but since then has popped up as the host of the GameShow ''Golden Balls''. His daughter, Lucy, also broke into acting with the part of Dawn in ''TheOffice''.

Subjective tropes are [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/YMMV/JasperCarrott here]].

----
!!Tropes:
* ActorAllusion: When he mentions working with Robert Powell on ''The Detectives'', he references his title role on ''JesusOfNazareth'':
--> "He used to be JesusChrist, now I've got him down to my level".
* AluminiumChristmasTrees: Combined with NewerThanTheyThink. He had a routine in the early 1990s about Italian food and coffee being ForeignQueasine that now seems bizarre given how both have become so mainstream in the UK.
* ApatheticCitizens: Implied with the people of UsefulNotes/NorthernIreland about UsefulNotes/TheTroubles when he did a show there, such as a security guard at a hotel the IRA recently bombed telling Carrott "I couldn't do your job, not with all that stress!", or when Carrott asks the event organiser whether it's okay to mention "Semtex" in a joke or it would be bad taste, to which the man is appalled and says "You can't say Semtex!...it's a brand name!"
* ArchEnemy: Has pursued a vendetta with ''The Sun'' newspaper for years due to them printing absurdly inaccurate stories about him such as "Jasper Carrott Allergic To Food".
--> "It just goes to show - when God perfected the Sun journalist, he then started on the amoeba!"
** More recently butted heads with Creator/DavidHasselhoff. "Hey! I'm David Hasselhoff! Nice to work with you! Here's my signed photo!"
* AssShove: It's implied he did this to a fellow runner in the London Marathon who [[MostAnnoyingSound tried to spend the entire 26 miles playing "When the Saints Go Marching In" on a trombone]].
--> "After about six miles, he hit 'the wall' a lot harder than he expected!"
** Later after noting about how the Marathon was formerly sponsored by Nestlé and they gave each runner a chocolate bar, but is now incongruously sponsored by Flora and they give them a tub of margarine...
---> "Anyway, we gave all ours to the trombone bloke, to help him get it out".
* BaitAndSwitchComparison: Used as the punchline for a routine mocking astrology, after he comes up with pairs of completely dissimilar celebrities who share the same birthday and would therefore have the same horoscope. He ends on:
--> "Me, and AlbertEinstein. One is the greatest genius the world has ever seen, while the other is a Kraut with [[EinsteinHair a stupid haircut]]."
* BaldOfAwesome
* BrickJoke: All the time, a big part of his humour--usually mentioning something inconsequential earlier in his routine that comes back as a suddenly relevant punchline at the end.
* CatchingSomeZs: He refers to snoring people as "there they are, zedding away".
* CheeseEatingSurrenderMonkeys: Not the French, but a similar joke; in his routine about he and his mate Derek trying to travel across Europe on a moped in the early Sixties, he mentions that Derek (lacking a crash helmet) was wearing a German Army helmet his dad had brought back from the war, and when they got lost in a town in Belgium "the mayor surrendered to us!"
* TheComicallySerious: In ''The Jasper Carrott Trial'', the QC (played by Robert Cordery) is one. When Jasper tries to explain comedy to him with the example of the classic joke about a dog with no nose:
--> '''QC:''' You would cut off a dog's nose, its most sensitive organ, just to get a laugh?
--> '''Carrott:''' ...I'd ''[[EatTheDog bite its bollocks off]]'' if I thought it'd get a laugh!
* DeadTVRemoteGag: Talks about how people will push harder and harder on the button as though there's more chance of the signal coming out, will walk right up to the TV and hold the remote against the infrared sensor while hammering on the button...when they could just use the controls on the set.
** This shows up later as a BrickJoke--about how the remote inevitably dies when you're CaughtWithYourPantsDown watching porn.
* DiggingYourselfDeeper: His impression of the Archbishop of Canterbury, stemming from him having a ICouldaBeenAContender attitude towards the Pope and trying to put a similar fear of God into the Anglican congregation, but also trying to be more liberal, and seesawing between the two:
--> '''Carrott (as Archbishop:''' You will not be allowed to divorce! You will not be allowed to divorce! Are you listening? Well...not more than two or three times, anyway! And there will no more adultery! Definitely no more adultery! Well...not in public! And anyone who does commit adultery in public will have a plague of ''boils'' visited upon them! Well...not boils, no...er...''dandruff!'' Yes! Anyone who commits adultery in public will have ''very bad dandruff!'' So bad that even ''Head & Shoulders'' won't get rid of it!
* DodgyToupee: Has a routine about them, and wore one himself as the character "Wiggy" who stars in spoof public information films in ''Canned Carrott''.
* DontExplainTheJoke: Sometimes does this, usually as though explaining it to someone in the front row of the audience who's slow on the uptake.
--> "What about [[MargaretThatcher Nigel Lawson]]? He called his daughter [[NigellaLawson Nigella]]. If Creator/SalmanRushdie had the same idea..." ''(Audience laughs, Carrott leans forward as though talking to someone in front row)'' "'Salmonella', see? Never mind."
* DoubleStandard: The subject of one his jokes. If a woman looks over her neighbour's fence and sees a man sun-bathing naked he'll be arrested for indecent exposure, but if a man looks over his neighbour's fence and sees a woman sun-bathing naked he'll be arrested for being a PeepingTom.
** Also he has a routine about how teenagers and grandparents are exactly the same ("neither of them have got a job, they're both on drugs...") but you treat them differently.
** Another one about male strippers following the success of ''TheFullMonty'':
--> "Men go to see strippers because they're ''(air quotes)'' "perverts". Women go to see strippers because "it's a laugh"."
* DriverOfABlackCab: While talking about unexpected people he found running the London Marathon:
-->"Loads of London cabbies. I didn't know they could ''walk'', never mind run. You could tell 'em easily, they were the ones turning around and going "Ere, 'ow you doing, mate?" It took 'em all ages, 'cause they went via Bristol."
* EuropeansAreKinky: He and his mate Derek believed this in the early Sixties and attempted to get to Sweden on a moped. Failing that, they ended up in Hamburg.
* EurovisionSongContest: When Birmingham hosted it in 1997, he complained about the lack of native-born presenters:
--> '''Carrott:''' Ulrika Jonsson and TerryWogan. A Swede and a Spud. ''(Points to self)'' There was no bloody ''Carrott'', was there?
* [[ThreateningShark Everything Is Even Worse With Sharks]]: In his 'holiday in Bali' routine, he got secret scuba diving lessons and attended a session where they feed sharks under water, leading to this trope.
* ExcuseQuestion: Mocked.
-->"Call in at £60 a minute and answer this question to win a fridge magnet! What is the capital of Britain - is it A, London, or B, 1948?" "Errrrm...I'm gonna phone in twice, make sure I get it!"
** Also BitingTheHandHumor, given the foundation of his recent fame and fortune - ''Series/WhoWantsToBeaMillionaire'' - is based on ''exactly'' this imperative to ring seriously expensive premium rate phone lines just to stand half a chance of being in the show...
* FacePalm: Does the "forehead slap" version in response to stupidity.
* FlowersForAlgernonSyndrome: In his 2004 "24 Carrott Gold" show, he mentions how Birmingham FC have destroyed much of his act by recently improving their performance to the point that they're no longer synonymous with failure.
* ForeignQueasine: His routine about eating at a Chinese restaurant in Hong Kong, where the language barrier meant he had to order by pointing at live animals the street-front restaurant had on display. On choosing chicken, the waiter took a chicken out of the cage and disappeared into the kitchen with it. The same thing happened to the fish in the tank, which became his friend's main course. At this point a dog passed in the street.
--> Whatever you do, ''don't point at the labrador!''
* AGoodNameForARockBand: There's a routine where Carrott is mistaken for one.
--> Somebody rang my agent and said, "Do Jasper Carrott want to play at Scunthorpe Baths?"
-->Well, he's no fool. He said, "Um... they might."
* GretzkyHasTheBall: In a panic after being CaughtWithYourPantsDown by his wife while watching late-night porn and quickly changing the channel:
--> '''Wife:''' What are you watching?
--> '''Carrott:''' FOOTBALL!
--> '''Wife:''' Who's playing?
--> '''Carrott:''' It's Kilmarnock v. Clydebank, it's the World Cup!
* HavingAGayOldTime: One of his routines is about the fact that Durex is a brand of condoms in the UK, but a brand of sticky tape in Australia.
* HeyItsThatGuy: [[TheNowShow Steve Punt and Hugh Dennis]] had their own segment on ''Canned Carrott'' years before they (especially Dennis) became mainstay TV comedy actors and pundits.
** But this was still a while afer they'd been broken on TV as fifty per cent of ''TheMaryWhitehouseExperience'', a comedy sketch show that crossed over from radio.
* HurricaneOfEuphemisms: He has a set in which he fires off endless euphemisms for sex, breasts and penis before concluding with the punchline "and those are the things you can say on television!"
* IgnoreTheDisability: More "Ignore the Scandal", but he had a routine about BillClinton coming to Birmingham for the G8 summit (in the midst of the Lewinsky scandal) with Birmingham Council turning into this. First they put Clinton up at [[UnfortunateImplications The Swallow Hotel]], and then they realise that on the road from the airport to said hotel is a hairdresser's called Monica's...they pay the owner to rename it, only for the new name to be "[[DiggingYourselfDeeper Cut and Blow]]"...
* InstructionalFilm: His "Wiggy" segments on ''Canned Carrott'' are a parody of them.
* KavorkaMan: After discussing polls in women's magazines rating the perfect man (which had the top two characteristics as 'good sense of humour' and 'pert bottom'); "So where does Pavarotti fit into this? He pulls women like you can't believe, but he's not exactly a laugh a minute, is he? As for 'pert bottom' it starts at his neck..."
* LastSecondWordAddition: In his Bali routine, talking about his scuba diving lessons and how each trainee is assigned a buddy:
--> '''Carrot:''' So I got paired with this Swedish blonde... ''(audience oohs)'' ...bloke, called Erik.
* LiteralMinded: A common source of his jokes.
** "They put up this bloke's picture on ''Series/CrimewatchUK'' with a phone number and said 'Have you seen this man?' Well my auntie rang them up and said 'No'."
* LogicBomb: Reacts like this to his grandmother's comment "Is the oldest man in the world still alive?"
** (At a seance) "Is there anybody there? Knock OnceForYesTwiceForNo!"
* {{Luvvies}}: He claims Robert Powell, who he worked with on ''The Detectives'', is one.
--> "He's an ''ac-TOR'', you know... ''(posh accent)'' 'Oh, oh, what is my ''motivation'' for stuffing this ferret down my trousers?' ''(normal voice)'' 'It's '''funny'''. Get it down!'"
* MasochistsMeal: The "[[BlazingInfernoHellfireSauce Magmaloo]]" curry he was introduced to by some [[NorthEastEngland Geordies]]:
--> "It comes in a bowl made of shuttle re-entry tiles...it comes with a side dish of Savlon...[[AteTheSpoon I put my spoon in, and it didn't come out!]]"
* TheMidlands: Of course.
* NoIndoorVoice: His impression of [[TheTroubles Ian Paisley]].
--> ''(When talking about people who name their children after themselves)'' "Take Ian Paisley. Sorry, `TAAAKE! IYAAAAN! ''PAAAAAAIRSLEYY!''` His full name is Ian Kyle Paisley. He's got two sons, one's called Ian, the other's called...Kyle. Now what does that tell you about him that we didn't already know?
* ObnoxiousInLaws: DefiedTrope, then DoubleSubverted. He says he's not going to do the old cliché jokes about his mother-in-law, and he gets on with her very well. "In fact, I've just bought her a house...''in Iran!''" ''(EvilLaugh)''
* OneHitWonder: He had a surprise hit in 1975 with "Funky Moped", which he often references.
* OpposingSportsTeam: He presents Manchester United as this.
* RealLifeRelative: In his recent one-off show ''The One...Jasper Carrott'', his real life daughter plays his character's daughter in a sketch.
* RidiculouslyAverageGuy: Carrott has a routine about he himself being one.
--> "I'm so ordinary, it's ''extra''ordinary. I'm middle-aged, middle-class, and I live in the Midlands in the middle of England. I drive a middle of the road car down the middle of the road while listening to middle of the road music, usually Bet Midler. And I'm sick of it. I went to the doctor, he said 'ah, you're having a mid-life crisis'. I gave him THE MIDDLE FINGER!"
* SeparatedByACommonLanguage: One of his routines is about how "Durex" is a brand of condoms in the UK but a brand of sticky tape in Australia, and "rubber" means condom in the US but eraser in the UK.
--> '''Carrott (in an American stationer)''': Can I have a rubber, please?
--> '''American:''' ...Just one?
--> '''Carrott:''' I don't make that many mistakes.
* {{Supergroup}}: In ''The One...Jasper Carrott'', he plays with "The Old Farts", including Rick Wakeman of Yes and Bev Bevan of ELO as well as Carrott himself.
* SuspectIsHatless: Talks about phony psychics who exploit this trope. (To a huge audience) "Is there anybody here called...''John?''"
* SweetHomeMidlands: A lot of his routines involve his home city of Birmingham.
* TakeThat: Regularly takes a swipe at other comedians when he needs to portray someone as useless, underachieving or just plain expendable. Late comic Bernard Manning, in particular, made more than one 'appearance' in Carrott's acts over the years...
* ThisIsGonnaSuck: When he ran the London Marathon (having signed up to it while drunk):
--> "At the front are all the professional runners, and then all the club runners, and then all the people who can run. [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg And I'm at the back]]. With all these people dressed as ostriches. I'm wearing a body bag, to save time at the other end."
* VisualPun: Most of his later musical gags are examples of this.
** "#While my guitar gently weeps..." ''(a hosepipe burst of water spurts out of the guitar and hits him in the face)''
** ''(Jumps off the stage, runs through the audience)'' "Bear with me, bear with me" ''(reaches edge of auditorium, strums chord)'' "#FROM A DISTANCE!"
* WithLyrics: He does a CrossesTheLineTwice song about car sex to the tune of Dvorak's ''Humoresque''.
--> ''"Was it you that did the pushin',''
--> ''Left the stain upon the cushion,''
--> ''Footprints on my dashboard upside down..."''

to:

Veteran British stand-up comedian (real name Robert Davis) who has been performing since the 1970s. He is also a folk singer and incorporates this into his act, both conventional comic songs and also VisualPun or LiteralMinded gags such as ''(strums guitar)'' "#Unforgettable..." ''(trails off with confused, searching look)''

He grew up in Acocks Green, Birmingham, alongside a lifelong friend Bev Bevan, who found fame himself with the pop group The Move and its sucessor the ElectricLightOrchestra. Indeed, at one point Bob Davis might have been a guitarist with the Move, but was edged out of consideration by the more accomplished RoyWood. This freed him up to go solo as a singer-performer on the folk circuit, luckily for the rest of us. As with MikeHarding and BillyConnolly, he discovered the patter in between songs was appreciated more than the songs themselves, and as a result the spoken bits became longer, and the songs got further apart and more offbeat.

His comedy is focused on observational humour and he is particularly adept at weaving a story and carrying the audience along with him. A native of Birmingham and sporting a Brummie accent, some of his earlier routines were about the trials of supporting the not very successful football team, Birmingham FC. He was also the first and best-remembered host of ''Commercial Breakdown'', TheBBC's programme about amusing and unusual adverts from overseas (ironically, TheBBC itself doesn't carry advertising). He has starred alongside Robert "Jesus Christ" Powell in ''TheDetectives'' and Meera Syal and Nina Wadia of ''GoodnessGraciousMe'' in the multicultural sitcom ''All About Me''.

Although a successful comic, he made his fortune through his production company Celador (supposedly named for what many non-English speakers consider to be the most incongruously beautiful sound in English, 'cellar door') which has seen such prominent successes as ''WhoWantsToBeAMillionaire''. He retired from stand-up in 2004 after a series of performances in Birmingham going through his best material of the past, but since then has popped up as the host of the GameShow ''Golden Balls''. His daughter, Lucy, also broke into acting with the part of Dawn in ''TheOffice''.

Subjective tropes are [[http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/YMMV/JasperCarrott here]].

----
!!Tropes:
* ActorAllusion: When he mentions working with Robert Powell on ''The Detectives'', he references his title role on ''JesusOfNazareth'':
--> "He used to be JesusChrist, now I've got him down to my level".
* AluminiumChristmasTrees: Combined with NewerThanTheyThink. He had a routine in the early 1990s about Italian food and coffee being ForeignQueasine that now seems bizarre given how both have become so mainstream in the UK.
* ApatheticCitizens: Implied with the people of UsefulNotes/NorthernIreland about UsefulNotes/TheTroubles when he did a show there, such as a security guard at a hotel the IRA recently bombed telling Carrott "I couldn't do your job, not with all that stress!", or when Carrott asks the event organiser whether it's okay to mention "Semtex" in a joke or it would be bad taste, to which the man is appalled and says "You can't say Semtex!...it's a brand name!"
* ArchEnemy: Has pursued a vendetta with ''The Sun'' newspaper for years due to them printing absurdly inaccurate stories about him such as "Jasper Carrott Allergic To Food".
--> "It just goes to show - when God perfected the Sun journalist, he then started on the amoeba!"
** More recently butted heads with Creator/DavidHasselhoff. "Hey! I'm David Hasselhoff! Nice to work with you! Here's my signed photo!"
* AssShove: It's implied he did this to a fellow runner in the London Marathon who [[MostAnnoyingSound tried to spend the entire 26 miles playing "When the Saints Go Marching In" on a trombone]].
--> "After about six miles, he hit 'the wall' a lot harder than he expected!"
** Later after noting about how the Marathon was formerly sponsored by Nestlé and they gave each runner a chocolate bar, but is now incongruously sponsored by Flora and they give them a tub of margarine...
---> "Anyway, we gave all ours to the trombone bloke, to help him get it out".
* BaitAndSwitchComparison: Used as the punchline for a routine mocking astrology, after he comes up with pairs of completely dissimilar celebrities who share the same birthday and would therefore have the same horoscope. He ends on:
--> "Me, and AlbertEinstein. One is the greatest genius the world has ever seen, while the other is a Kraut with [[EinsteinHair a stupid haircut]]."
* BaldOfAwesome
* BrickJoke: All the time, a big part of his humour--usually mentioning something inconsequential earlier in his routine that comes back as a suddenly relevant punchline at the end.
* CatchingSomeZs: He refers to snoring people as "there they are, zedding away".
* CheeseEatingSurrenderMonkeys: Not the French, but a similar joke; in his routine about he and his mate Derek trying to travel across Europe on a moped in the early Sixties, he mentions that Derek (lacking a crash helmet) was wearing a German Army helmet his dad had brought back from the war, and when they got lost in a town in Belgium "the mayor surrendered to us!"
* TheComicallySerious: In ''The Jasper Carrott Trial'', the QC (played by Robert Cordery) is one. When Jasper tries to explain comedy to him with the example of the classic joke about a dog with no nose:
--> '''QC:''' You would cut off a dog's nose, its most sensitive organ, just to get a laugh?
--> '''Carrott:''' ...I'd ''[[EatTheDog bite its bollocks off]]'' if I thought it'd get a laugh!
* DeadTVRemoteGag: Talks about how people will push harder and harder on the button as though there's more chance of the signal coming out, will walk right up to the TV and hold the remote against the infrared sensor while hammering on the button...when they could just use the controls on the set.
** This shows up later as a BrickJoke--about how the remote inevitably dies when you're CaughtWithYourPantsDown watching porn.
* DiggingYourselfDeeper: His impression of the Archbishop of Canterbury, stemming from him having a ICouldaBeenAContender attitude towards the Pope and trying to put a similar fear of God into the Anglican congregation, but also trying to be more liberal, and seesawing between the two:
--> '''Carrott (as Archbishop:''' You will not be allowed to divorce! You will not be allowed to divorce! Are you listening? Well...not more than two or three times, anyway! And there will no more adultery! Definitely no more adultery! Well...not in public! And anyone who does commit adultery in public will have a plague of ''boils'' visited upon them! Well...not boils, no...er...''dandruff!'' Yes! Anyone who commits adultery in public will have ''very bad dandruff!'' So bad that even ''Head & Shoulders'' won't get rid of it!
* DodgyToupee: Has a routine about them, and wore one himself as the character "Wiggy" who stars in spoof public information films in ''Canned Carrott''.
* DontExplainTheJoke: Sometimes does this, usually as though explaining it to someone in the front row of the audience who's slow on the uptake.
--> "What about [[MargaretThatcher Nigel Lawson]]? He called his daughter [[NigellaLawson Nigella]]. If Creator/SalmanRushdie had the same idea..." ''(Audience laughs, Carrott leans forward as though talking to someone in front row)'' "'Salmonella', see? Never mind."
* DoubleStandard: The subject of one his jokes. If a woman looks over her neighbour's fence and sees a man sun-bathing naked he'll be arrested for indecent exposure, but if a man looks over his neighbour's fence and sees a woman sun-bathing naked he'll be arrested for being a PeepingTom.
** Also he has a routine about how teenagers and grandparents are exactly the same ("neither of them have got a job, they're both on drugs...") but you treat them differently.
** Another one about male strippers following the success of ''TheFullMonty'':
--> "Men go to see strippers because they're ''(air quotes)'' "perverts". Women go to see strippers because "it's a laugh"."
* DriverOfABlackCab: While talking about unexpected people he found running the London Marathon:
-->"Loads of London cabbies. I didn't know they could ''walk'', never mind run. You could tell 'em easily, they were the ones turning around and going "Ere, 'ow you doing, mate?" It took 'em all ages, 'cause they went via Bristol."
* EuropeansAreKinky: He and his mate Derek believed this in the early Sixties and attempted to get to Sweden on a moped. Failing that, they ended up in Hamburg.
* EurovisionSongContest: When Birmingham hosted it in 1997, he complained about the lack of native-born presenters:
--> '''Carrott:''' Ulrika Jonsson and TerryWogan. A Swede and a Spud. ''(Points to self)'' There was no bloody ''Carrott'', was there?
* [[ThreateningShark Everything Is Even Worse With Sharks]]: In his 'holiday in Bali' routine, he got secret scuba diving lessons and attended a session where they feed sharks under water, leading to this trope.
* ExcuseQuestion: Mocked.
-->"Call in at £60 a minute and answer this question to win a fridge magnet! What is the capital of Britain - is it A, London, or B, 1948?" "Errrrm...I'm gonna phone in twice, make sure I get it!"
** Also BitingTheHandHumor, given the foundation of his recent fame and fortune - ''Series/WhoWantsToBeaMillionaire'' - is based on ''exactly'' this imperative to ring seriously expensive premium rate phone lines just to stand half a chance of being in the show...
* FacePalm: Does the "forehead slap" version in response to stupidity.
* FlowersForAlgernonSyndrome: In his 2004 "24 Carrott Gold" show, he mentions how Birmingham FC have destroyed much of his act by recently improving their performance to the point that they're no longer synonymous with failure.
* ForeignQueasine: His routine about eating at a Chinese restaurant in Hong Kong, where the language barrier meant he had to order by pointing at live animals the street-front restaurant had on display. On choosing chicken, the waiter took a chicken out of the cage and disappeared into the kitchen with it. The same thing happened to the fish in the tank, which became his friend's main course. At this point a dog passed in the street.
--> Whatever you do, ''don't point at the labrador!''
* AGoodNameForARockBand: There's a routine where Carrott is mistaken for one.
--> Somebody rang my agent and said, "Do Jasper Carrott want to play at Scunthorpe Baths?"
-->Well, he's no fool. He said, "Um... they might."
* GretzkyHasTheBall: In a panic after being CaughtWithYourPantsDown by his wife while watching late-night porn and quickly changing the channel:
--> '''Wife:''' What are you watching?
--> '''Carrott:''' FOOTBALL!
--> '''Wife:''' Who's playing?
--> '''Carrott:''' It's Kilmarnock v. Clydebank, it's the World Cup!
* HavingAGayOldTime: One of his routines is about the fact that Durex is a brand of condoms in the UK, but a brand of sticky tape in Australia.
* HeyItsThatGuy: [[TheNowShow Steve Punt and Hugh Dennis]] had their own segment on ''Canned Carrott'' years before they (especially Dennis) became mainstay TV comedy actors and pundits.
** But this was still a while afer they'd been broken on TV as fifty per cent of ''TheMaryWhitehouseExperience'', a comedy sketch show that crossed over from radio.
* HurricaneOfEuphemisms: He has a set in which he fires off endless euphemisms for sex, breasts and penis before concluding with the punchline "and those are the things you can say on television!"
* IgnoreTheDisability: More "Ignore the Scandal", but he had a routine about BillClinton coming to Birmingham for the G8 summit (in the midst of the Lewinsky scandal) with Birmingham Council turning into this. First they put Clinton up at [[UnfortunateImplications The Swallow Hotel]], and then they realise that on the road from the airport to said hotel is a hairdresser's called Monica's...they pay the owner to rename it, only for the new name to be "[[DiggingYourselfDeeper Cut and Blow]]"...
* InstructionalFilm: His "Wiggy" segments on ''Canned Carrott'' are a parody of them.
* KavorkaMan: After discussing polls in women's magazines rating the perfect man (which had the top two characteristics as 'good sense of humour' and 'pert bottom'); "So where does Pavarotti fit into this? He pulls women like you can't believe, but he's not exactly a laugh a minute, is he? As for 'pert bottom' it starts at his neck..."
* LastSecondWordAddition: In his Bali routine, talking about his scuba diving lessons and how each trainee is assigned a buddy:
--> '''Carrot:''' So I got paired with this Swedish blonde... ''(audience oohs)'' ...bloke, called Erik.
* LiteralMinded: A common source of his jokes.
** "They put up this bloke's picture on ''Series/CrimewatchUK'' with a phone number and said 'Have you seen this man?' Well my auntie rang them up and said 'No'."
* LogicBomb: Reacts like this to his grandmother's comment "Is the oldest man in the world still alive?"
** (At a seance) "Is there anybody there? Knock OnceForYesTwiceForNo!"
* {{Luvvies}}: He claims Robert Powell, who he worked with on ''The Detectives'', is one.
--> "He's an ''ac-TOR'', you know... ''(posh accent)'' 'Oh, oh, what is my ''motivation'' for stuffing this ferret down my trousers?' ''(normal voice)'' 'It's '''funny'''. Get it down!'"
* MasochistsMeal: The "[[BlazingInfernoHellfireSauce Magmaloo]]" curry he was introduced to by some [[NorthEastEngland Geordies]]:
--> "It comes in a bowl made of shuttle re-entry tiles...it comes with a side dish of Savlon...[[AteTheSpoon I put my spoon in, and it didn't come out!]]"
* TheMidlands: Of course.
* NoIndoorVoice: His impression of [[TheTroubles Ian Paisley]].
--> ''(When talking about people who name their children after themselves)'' "Take Ian Paisley. Sorry, `TAAAKE! IYAAAAN! ''PAAAAAAIRSLEYY!''` His full name is Ian Kyle Paisley. He's got two sons, one's called Ian, the other's called...Kyle. Now what does that tell you about him that we didn't already know?
* ObnoxiousInLaws: DefiedTrope, then DoubleSubverted. He says he's not going to do the old cliché jokes about his mother-in-law, and he gets on with her very well. "In fact, I've just bought her a house...''in Iran!''" ''(EvilLaugh)''
* OneHitWonder: He had a surprise hit in 1975 with "Funky Moped", which he often references.
* OpposingSportsTeam: He presents Manchester United as this.
* RealLifeRelative: In his recent one-off show ''The One...Jasper Carrott'', his real life daughter plays his character's daughter in a sketch.
* RidiculouslyAverageGuy: Carrott has a routine about he himself being one.
--> "I'm so ordinary, it's ''extra''ordinary. I'm middle-aged, middle-class, and I live in the Midlands in the middle of England. I drive a middle of the road car down the middle of the road while listening to middle of the road music, usually Bet Midler. And I'm sick of it. I went to the doctor, he said 'ah, you're having a mid-life crisis'. I gave him THE MIDDLE FINGER!"
* SeparatedByACommonLanguage: One of his routines is about how "Durex" is a brand of condoms in the UK but a brand of sticky tape in Australia, and "rubber" means condom in the US but eraser in the UK.
--> '''Carrott (in an American stationer)''': Can I have a rubber, please?
--> '''American:''' ...Just one?
--> '''Carrott:''' I don't make that many mistakes.
* {{Supergroup}}: In ''The One...Jasper Carrott'', he plays with "The Old Farts", including Rick Wakeman of Yes and Bev Bevan of ELO as well as Carrott himself.
* SuspectIsHatless: Talks about phony psychics who exploit this trope. (To a huge audience) "Is there anybody here called...''John?''"
* SweetHomeMidlands: A lot of his routines involve his home city of Birmingham.
* TakeThat: Regularly takes a swipe at other comedians when he needs to portray someone as useless, underachieving or just plain expendable. Late comic Bernard Manning, in particular, made more than one 'appearance' in Carrott's acts over the years...
* ThisIsGonnaSuck: When he ran the London Marathon (having signed up to it while drunk):
--> "At the front are all the professional runners, and then all the club runners, and then all the people who can run. [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg And I'm at the back]]. With all these people dressed as ostriches. I'm wearing a body bag, to save time at the other end."
* VisualPun: Most of his later musical gags are examples of this.
** "#While my guitar gently weeps..." ''(a hosepipe burst of water spurts out of the guitar and hits him in the face)''
** ''(Jumps off the stage, runs through the audience)'' "Bear with me, bear with me" ''(reaches edge of auditorium, strums chord)'' "#FROM A DISTANCE!"
* WithLyrics: He does a CrossesTheLineTwice song about car sex to the tune of Dvorak's ''Humoresque''.
--> ''"Was it you that did the pushin',''
--> ''Left the stain upon the cushion,''
--> ''Footprints on my dashboard upside down..."''
[[redirect:Creator/JasperCarrott]]
24th Jul '13 11:14:26 AM JIKTV
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** Also BitingTheHandHumour, given the foundation of his recent fame and fortune - WhoWantsToBeaMillionaire - is based on ''exactly'' this imperative to ring seriously expensive premium rate phone lines just to stand half a chance of being in the show...

to:

** Also BitingTheHandHumour, BitingTheHandHumor, given the foundation of his recent fame and fortune - WhoWantsToBeaMillionaire ''Series/WhoWantsToBeaMillionaire'' - is based on ''exactly'' this imperative to ring seriously expensive premium rate phone lines just to stand half a chance of being in the show...
1st Jul '13 5:22:42 AM Thande
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Added DiffLines:

* SuspectIsHatless: Talks about phony psychics who exploit this trope. (To a huge audience) "Is there anybody here called...''John?''"
11th May '13 6:05:39 PM JIKTV
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* EverythingIsEvenWorseWithSharks: In his 'holiday in Bali' routine, he got secret scuba diving lessons and attended a session where they feed sharks under water, leading to this trope.

to:

* EverythingIsEvenWorseWithSharks: [[ThreateningShark Everything Is Even Worse With Sharks]]: In his 'holiday in Bali' routine, he got secret scuba diving lessons and attended a session where they feed sharks under water, leading to this trope.
28th Apr '13 3:51:10 PM Thande
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Added DiffLines:

* AluminiumChristmasTrees: Combined with NewerThanTheyThink. He had a routine in the early 1990s about Italian food and coffee being ForeignQueasine that now seems bizarre given how both have become so mainstream in the UK.


Added DiffLines:

** Another one about male strippers following the success of ''TheFullMonty'':
--> "Men go to see strippers because they're ''(air quotes)'' "perverts". Women go to see strippers because "it's a laugh"."
22nd Apr '13 11:33:54 AM JIKTV
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** "They put up this bloke's picture on CrimewatchUK with a phone number and said 'Have you seen this man?' Well my auntie rang them up and said 'No'."

to:

** "They put up this bloke's picture on CrimewatchUK ''Series/CrimewatchUK'' with a phone number and said 'Have you seen this man?' Well my auntie rang them up and said 'No'."
19th Apr '13 5:27:29 PM DarkbladeWraith
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* TakeThat: Regularly takes a swipe at other comedians when he needs to portray someone as useless, underachieving or just plain expendable. Late comic Bernard Manning, in particular, made more than one 'appearance' in Carrott's acts over the years...


Added DiffLines:

* TakeThat: Regularly takes a swipe at other comedians when he needs to portray someone as useless, underachieving or just plain expendable. Late comic Bernard Manning, in particular, made more than one 'appearance' in Carrott's acts over the years...
19th Apr '13 5:26:17 PM DarkbladeWraith
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Added DiffLines:

* TakeThat: Regularly takes a swipe at other comedians when he needs to portray someone as useless, underachieving or just plain expendable. Late comic Bernard Manning, in particular, made more than one 'appearance' in Carrott's acts over the years...
16th Apr '13 1:10:22 PM AgProv
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Added DiffLines:

* ForeignQueasine: His routine about eating at a Chinese restaurant in Hong Kong, where the language barrier meant he had to order by pointing at live animals the street-front restaurant had on display. On choosing chicken, the waiter took a chicken out of the cage and disappeared into the kitchen with it. The same thing happened to the fish in the tank, which became his friend's main course. At this point a dog passed in the street.
--> Whatever you do, ''don't point at the labrador!''
30th Mar '13 5:27:58 PM Thexder
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--> "What about [[MargaretThatcher Nigel Lawson]]? He called his daughter [[NigellaLawson Nigella]]. If SalmanRushdie had the same idea..." ''(Audience laughs, Carrott leans forward as though talking to someone in front row)'' "'Salmonella', see? Never mind."

to:

--> "What about [[MargaretThatcher Nigel Lawson]]? He called his daughter [[NigellaLawson Nigella]]. If SalmanRushdie Creator/SalmanRushdie had the same idea..." ''(Audience laughs, Carrott leans forward as though talking to someone in front row)'' "'Salmonella', see? Never mind."
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Main.JasperCarrott