History Main / ImpossibleTheft

20th Apr '16 7:51:55 PM Miracle@StOlaf
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* Among its many DiabolusExMachina devices, ''VideoGame/TheOregonTrail'' also has thieves so talented that they can --depending on how much the RandomNumberGod hates you at the moment-- sneak in under cover of night, swipe ''all of your oxen'' or every set of clothes your party has (including the ones on their backs!), and somehow escape notice completely.
24th Mar '16 11:45:06 AM Unferth
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** Blood Ravens chapter, nicknamed ''Bloody Magpies'' has a nasty habit of acquiring heaps of gear by underhanded means. Arsenal of one company [[note]]Chapter consists of 10 companies.[[/note]] includes, but not limited to: mace of [[EldritchAbomination Scarband]], thunder hammer of [[EldritchAbomination Fulgrim]], armor and weapon of Adeptus Custodes[[note]]Emperor's bodyguards, almost as strong as Primarchs, who would rather die than part with their equipment, all of which is locked on their genecode.[[/note]], Aegis armor of a Grey Knight and weapons once wielded by current Chapter Master of Ultramarines and first Grand Marshal of Black Templars. To boot, original game mentioned that each Terminator armor of the chapter has a piece of Emperor's armor, that he wore on Vengeful Spirit, enclosed in it. [[note]]It is a thing, but those fragments are incredibly rare. They are issued to chapter's champions, not the entire first company.[[/note]] Fanon takes it UpToEleven, suggesting that the infamous ''Steal Rain''[[note]]Steel Rain was a defensive maneuver employed by Blood Ravens in Kaurava campaign that resulted in total destruction of their strike force.[[/note]] was in fact the very reason Imperial Guard lost a hundred of superheavy tanks in transit, Firaeveus Carron lost the favor of the Dark Gods and Necrons lost their power supply.

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** Blood Ravens chapter, nicknamed ''Bloody Magpies'' has a nasty habit of acquiring heaps of gear by underhanded means. Arsenal of one company [[note]]Chapter consists of 10 companies.[[/note]] includes, but not limited to: mace of [[EldritchAbomination Scarband]], thunder hammer of [[EldritchAbomination [[DemonOfHumanOrigin Fulgrim]], armor and weapon of Adeptus Custodes[[note]]Emperor's bodyguards, almost as strong as Primarchs, who would rather die than part with their equipment, all of which is locked on their genecode.[[/note]], Aegis armor of a Grey Knight and weapons once wielded by current Chapter Master of Ultramarines and first Grand Marshal of Black Templars. To boot, original game mentioned that each Terminator armor of the chapter has a piece of Emperor's armor, that he wore on Vengeful Spirit, enclosed in it. [[note]]It is a thing, but those fragments are incredibly rare. They are issued to chapter's champions, not the entire first company.[[/note]] Fanon takes it UpToEleven, suggesting that the infamous ''Steal Rain''[[note]]Steel Rain was a defensive maneuver employed by Blood Ravens in Kaurava campaign that resulted in total destruction of their strike force.[[/note]] was in fact the very reason Imperial Guard lost a hundred of superheavy tanks in transit, Firaeveus Carron lost the favor of the Dark Gods and Necrons lost their power supply.
23rd Mar '16 7:11:40 AM VictorDamazio
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[[folder:Jokes]]
*
-->I pilot was flying alone in his plane around the world, and his supervisors kept asking him where he was, and to know that, he had a technique, put his arm through a hole below the plane, and touch things with his hand.\\


-->Where are you now?
-->In USA.
-->Why?
-->I touched the [[EiffelTowerEffect Statue of Liberty]].

-->And now, where you are?
-->In England
-->Why?
-->I touched the Big Ben.

-->And now?
-->In France
-->Why?
-->I touched the Eiffel Tower

-->And now?
-->In Italy
-->Why?
-->I touched the Leaning Tower of Pisa

-->Now?
-->In China
-->Why?
-->I touched the Great Wall

-->Now?
-->In Japan
-->Why?
-->I touched the Tokyo Tower

-->Now?
-->In Brazil
-->Oh, you don't need to say, you touched the Christ the Redeemer statue.
-->No, that wasn't it.
-->Then what was it?
-->Somebody stole my watch.

[[/folder]]
13th Mar '16 12:45:43 PM ultimomant
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* ''Fanfic/{{Drifting'': Early on when Naruto faced a trio of [[IneffectualSympatheticVillain incompetent female Chunin]] who had infiltrated the village, he managed to steal [[PantyThief all their underwear]] without taking off or damaging their clothes, or even them noticing until [[FunnyMoment he showed them his "loot"]].

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* ''Fanfic/{{Drifting'': ''Fanfic/{{Drifting}}'': Early on when Naruto faced a trio of [[IneffectualSympatheticVillain incompetent female Chunin]] who had infiltrated the village, he managed to steal [[PantyThief all their underwear]] without taking off or damaging their clothes, or even them noticing until [[FunnyMoment he showed them his "loot"]].



* In ''WesternAnimation/JusticeLeagueWar'', Batman steals Green Lantern's ring while he was wearing it. He doesn't notice until Batman holds it up and Hal's costume is suddenly replaced by his street clothes.



* ''VideoGame/AssassinsCreedII'': Accourding to the database entry on La Volpe, he once managed to rob the Pope's carriage -- while the Pope was still inside it.

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* ''VideoGame/AssassinsCreedII'': Accourding According to the database entry on La Volpe, he once managed to rob the Pope's carriage -- while the Pope was still inside it.it.
* In ''VideoGame/{{Bayonetta}}'', after Jeanne passes Bayonetta by on a motorcycle, the two banter for a bit, then Jeanne suddenly holds up Bayonetta's necklace, shocking her. Jeanne mocks her for getting so rusty that she wouldn't notice that.


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* In ''WesternAnimation/TheBatman'', Batman defeats Sinestro by stealing his ring off his finger.
4th Mar '16 1:06:41 PM margdean56
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* ''ComicBook/TheBlackKnight'': Arpin Lusene, the Black Knight, from Creator/DonRosa's Disney comics, is an AffectionateParody of ''Literature/ArseneLupin'' as well as [[GentlemanThief Gentleman Thieves]] in general. He casually steals [[SerialEscalation a man's socks while he's wearing them, the bullets from a museum guard's gun and a viking ship.]] While naked. He also stole the filament from camera's flash bulb. While the camera was in the cameraman's ''hands''. At exactly the same time, he stole another reporter's ''underwear''. For context, the reporters were inquiring about Lusene's Black Knight persona, when a cameraman tries to take a picture of Lusene. [[RuleOfFunny The very next panel, Lusene is holding the filament and the other guy's underpants]] while denying being [[ButHeSoundsHandsome the Magnificent Black Knight, the world-famous master thief.]]

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* ''ComicBook/TheBlackKnight'': Arpin Lusene, the Black Knight, from Creator/DonRosa's Disney comics, is an AffectionateParody of ''Literature/ArseneLupin'' as well as [[GentlemanThief Gentleman Thieves]] in general. He casually steals [[SerialEscalation a man's socks while he's wearing them, the bullets from a museum guard's gun and a viking ship.]] While naked. He also stole the filament from a camera's flash bulb. While the camera was in the cameraman's ''hands''. At exactly the same time, he stole another reporter's ''underwear''. For context, the reporters were inquiring about Lusene's Black Knight persona, when a cameraman tries to take a picture of Lusene. [[RuleOfFunny The very next panel, Lusene is holding the filament and the other guy's underpants]] while denying being [[ButHeSoundsHandsome the Magnificent Black Knight, the world-famous master thief.]]
4th Mar '16 1:03:32 PM margdean56
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While this is can be done by any [[{{Criminal}} Thief,]] a PhantomThief is most common, with ClassyCatBurglar and GentlemanThief not far behind. TheCaper may also have an impossible target, but a large enough crew can reduce how "impossible" the theft seems to be. If video game mechanics allow the player's character steal ridiculous things or under ridiculous circumstances, see VideoGameStealing.

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While this is can be done by any [[{{Criminal}} Thief,]] a PhantomThief is most common, with ClassyCatBurglar and GentlemanThief not far behind. TheCaper may also have an impossible target, but a large enough crew can reduce how "impossible" the theft seems to be. If video game mechanics allow the player's character to steal ridiculous things or under ridiculous circumstances, see VideoGameStealing.
3rd Mar '16 4:58:54 AM JacobTehGreat
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*** Gray Fox has many in-game UrbanLegends surrounding him, which regard him as an impossible thief who can turn invisible and slip underneath locked doors. The Grey Fox stole the iconic Grey Cowl from a Daedric Prince (basically demons so powerful they're worshiped as gods) makes these legends well deserved.

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*** Gray Fox has many in-game UrbanLegends surrounding him, which regard him as an impossible thief who can turn invisible and slip underneath locked doors. The Grey Fox stole the iconic Grey Cowl from a Daedric Prince Prince, (basically demons so powerful they're worshiped as gods) makes making these legends well deserved.
1st Mar '16 11:04:54 AM FaceofEvil
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** In the 2014 game, he can steal a person's earrings without them noticing.
29th Jan '16 5:42:46 PM Vir
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The ultimate climax of any thief story is to steal something that cannot be stolen. Some thefts are more impossible than others, of course, and thieves that commit impossible thefts incidentally are usually more impressive than thieves who need to build up to a less impossible theft, but any sort of thief vs thief conflict will usually prove the need to escalate the [[BeyondTheImpossible difficulty to impossible levels.]]

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The ultimate climax of any thief story is to steal something that cannot be stolen. Some thefts are more impossible than others, of course, and thieves that commit impossible thefts incidentally are usually more impressive than thieves who need to build up to a less impossible theft, but any sort of thief vs vs. thief conflict will usually prove the need to escalate the [[BeyondTheImpossible difficulty to impossible levels.]]
27th Jan '16 11:04:42 AM CaptainCrawdad
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* The Creator/ScottLynch short story "A Year and a Day in Old Theradane" has a group of highly talented thieves tasked by a sorceress with stealing a city street. The street is a PlaceOfPower for a rival wizard, and the thieves have to remove it from the city. The thieves are at a loss as to how to remove a location. They make a few abstract attempts first, like changing all the street signs to another name, then erasing it from the city's official maps, but none of these work. Finally, they figure out a way to gradually replace all of the street's cobblestones with new ones, thereby turning it into a [[TheseusShipParadox different street]] and destroying the wizard's link to it.
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