History Main / IfYouEverDoAnythingToHurtHer

20th May '16 2:05:17 AM TheOneWhoTropes
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* ''QueerAsFolk'' features one (gay) man warning his (idealistic) close friend's new love interest: "If you break his heart, I will break your face. Now if you'll excuse me, they're playing my song."

to:

* ''QueerAsFolk'' ''Series/QueerAsFolk'' features one (gay) man warning his (idealistic) close friend's new love interest: "If you break his heart, I will break your face. Now if you'll excuse me, they're playing my song."
7th May '16 8:50:42 PM ArcticYoshi45
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* ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'' fanfic ''[[http://http://www.fimfiction.net/story/235148/friendly-fire Friendly Fire]]'' features Rarity threatening to [[GenuineHumanHide make a leather jacket out of Apple Bloom]] and [[DeadGuyOnDisplay wear it around town]] if she ever makes Sweetie Belle cry so much as a single tear.

to:

* ''WesternAnimation/MyLittlePonyFriendshipIsMagic'' fanfic ''[[http://http://www.''[[http://www.fimfiction.net/story/235148/friendly-fire Friendly Fire]]'' features Rarity threatening to [[GenuineHumanHide make a leather jacket out of Apple Bloom]] and [[DeadGuyOnDisplay wear it around town]] if she ever makes Sweetie Belle cry so much as a single tear.
2nd May '16 9:50:52 AM Nepeta
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Added DiffLines:

* A frankly scary one [[http://www.star-crossedcomic.com/fnr/fnr_11_35.html here]].
28th Apr '16 12:35:38 AM HeroGal2347
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* In the extended cut of ''Film/TheLordOfTheRings: The Return of the King''. Samwise Gamgee gives Gollum a warning about betrayal and harming Frodo when the latter becomes suspicious of what lies in Shelob's Cave.

to:

* In the extended cut of ''Film/TheLordOfTheRings: The Return of the King''. Samwise Gamgee gives Gollum a warning about betrayal and harming Frodo when the latter becomes suspicious of what lies in Shelob's Cave. Notable in that this is ''not'' a romantic quarrel on any side -- it's the hero's NotLoveInterest informing an old adversary that he'll pay if he harms him or even does something that causes him to come to harm.
9th Apr '16 5:46:38 PM JackG
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* ''Literature/TheForeverWar'' is set in a FreeLoveFuture, so Mandella and his LoveInterest Marygay have different lovers at one point, and and in a tongue-in-cheek expression of jealousy promise to beat up the others' lover if required.

to:

* ''Literature/TheForeverWar'' is set in a FreeLoveFuture, so Mandella and his LoveInterest Marygay have different lovers at one point, and and in a tongue-in-cheek expression of jealousy promise to beat up the others' lover if required.


Added DiffLines:

* ''Literature/TheForeverWar'' is set in a FreeLoveFuture, so Mandella and his LoveInterest Marygay have different lovers at one point, and and in a tongue-in-cheek expression of jealousy promise to beat up the others' lover if required.
9th Apr '16 5:43:45 PM JackG
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Added DiffLines:

* ''Literature/TheForeverWar'' is set in a FreeLoveFuture, so Mandella and his LoveInterest Marygay have different lovers at one point, and and in a tongue-in-cheek expression of jealousy promise to beat up the others' lover if required.
4th Apr '16 11:14:43 AM Morgenthaler
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* ''{{Spaced}}'': Mike, who is intensely jealous of Tim's new girlfriend Sophie, warns her that "You hurt him, I'll kill you." Sophie, shocked, asks Tim if he was serious… to which Tim chuckles good-naturedly and replies, with complete, genial sincerity, "Yep."

to:

* ''{{Spaced}}'': ''Series/{{Spaced}}'': Mike, who is intensely jealous of Tim's new girlfriend Sophie, warns her that "You hurt him, I'll kill you." Sophie, shocked, asks Tim if he was serious… to which Tim chuckles good-naturedly and replies, with complete, genial sincerity, "Yep."
21st Mar '16 9:49:15 PM TheRoguePenguin
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-->'''Kaji''':''"She's like my daughter, boy. I expect you to watch out for her, and be a gentleman. If you don't, if there's way out there to hurt you, I'll find it."''\\
'''Shinji''':''"I would never hurt her."''
* In Fanfic/LillyEpilogueFamilyMatters, Mr. Satou, having finally conceded that Hisao is a good match for Lilly, says that he has connections to hunt him down if he does anything to harm her. Hisao wonders if he actually does have those kinds of resources at his disposal.

to:

-->'''Kaji''':''"She's -->'''Kaji''': She's like my daughter, boy. I expect you to watch out for her, and be a gentleman. If you don't, if there's way out there to hurt you, I'll find it."''\\
'''Shinji''':''"I
\\
'''Shinji''': I
would never hurt her."''
her.
* In Fanfic/LillyEpilogueFamilyMatters, ''Fanfic/LillyEpilogueFamilyMatters'', Mr. Satou, having finally conceded that Hisao is a good match for Lilly, says that he has connections to hunt him down if he does anything to harm her. Hisao wonders if he actually does have those kinds of resources at his disposal.



* ''Fanfic/TheFirstOfMany'':Shining to Ocean Floor (a member of the Royal Guard) when he picks up Twilight for their date:

to:

* ''Fanfic/TheFirstOfMany'':Shining ''Fanfic/TheFirstOfMany'': Shining to Ocean Floor (a member of the Royal Guard) when he picks up Twilight for their date:



-->'''Jace''':Is this the part where you tell me if I ever do anything to hurt her, you'll kill me?
-->'''Simon''':No. If you hurt Clary, she's quite capable of killing you herself. Possibly with a variety of weapons.

to:

-->'''Jace''':Is -->'''Jace''': Is this the part where you tell me if I ever do anything to hurt her, you'll kill me?
-->'''Simon''':No.
me?\\
'''Simon''': No.
If you hurt Clary, she's quite capable of killing you herself. Possibly with a variety of weapons.



--> '''Wesley''': I just don't want to see her hurt.
--> '''Gunn''': What are you, man, her brother?
--> '''Wesley''': Apparently…

to:

--> '''Wesley''': I just don't want to see her hurt.
-->
hurt.\\
'''Gunn''': What are you, man, her brother?
-->
brother?\\
'''Wesley''': Apparently…



--> '''Gunn''': And to add the necessary boilerplate, you ever hurt her, I'm gonna kill ya like a chicken.
--> '''Wesley''': Acceptable terms.
*** Huge {{irony}} that time, as Gunn soon discovers in that ep that his own actions [[spoiler:led to her death.]]

to:

--> ---> '''Gunn''': And to add the necessary boilerplate, you ever hurt her, I'm gonna kill ya like a chicken.
-->
chicken.\\
'''Wesley''': Acceptable terms.
*** ** Huge {{irony}} that time, as Gunn soon discovers in that ep episode that his own actions [[spoiler:led to her death.]]



-->Brother, here's some brotherly advice
-->If you know what's good for you'll treat her right
-->'Cause Grandpa's the local sherriff, yeah, he's the judge and the jury too
-->Uncle Bill's the undertaker, son he'll dig a hole for you
-->Cousin Jesse, he's just crazy, he'll fight you just for fun
-->Mama's got a real bad temper, and Daddy's got a shotgun

to:

-->Brother, here's some brotherly advice
-->If
advice\\
If
you know what's good for you'll treat her right
-->'Cause
right\\
'Cause
Grandpa's the local sherriff, yeah, he's the judge and the jury too
-->Uncle
too\\
Uncle
Bill's the undertaker, son he'll dig a hole for you
-->Cousin
you\\
Cousin
Jesse, he's just crazy, he'll fight you just for fun
-->Mama's
fun\\
Mama's
got a real bad temper, and Daddy's got a shotgun



-->If you touch her, or hurt her, or make her sad, I'm going to hurt you twice as bad.

to:

-->If -->"If you touch her, or hurt her, or make her sad, I'm going to hurt you twice as bad."



--> "Boy? Look at me. See that girl over there? She's my only daughter, man. She's ''my life''. And if you have any thoughts about huggin' or kissin'… you remember these words. I got no problem going ''back'' to prison."

to:

--> "Boy? -->"Boy? Look at me. See that girl over there? She's my only daughter, man. She's ''my life''. And if you have any thoughts about huggin' or kissin'… you remember these words. I got no problem going ''back'' to prison."



-->'''Guybrush:''' If you did anything to hurt Elaine while I was gone, I swear I'll--
-->'''[=LeChuck=]:''' The only thing I did to Elaine was to pull her from the freezing water along with a bunch of wet, screaming monkeys!
-->'''Guybrush:''' ''[smiles]'' Actually, that kinda sounds like our honeymoon!

to:

-->'''Guybrush:''' If you did anything to hurt Elaine while I was gone, I swear I'll--
-->'''[=LeChuck=]:'''
I'll--\\
'''[=LeChuck=]:'''
The only thing I did to Elaine was to pull her from the freezing water along with a bunch of wet, screaming monkeys!
-->'''Guybrush:'''
monkeys!\\
'''Guybrush:'''
''[smiles]'' Actually, that kinda sounds like our honeymoon!



-->'''Lily'''[[labelnote:*]](A 15+ tonne battle-trained acid spitting dragon Harcourt raised from an egg)[[/labelnote]]: Mayn't I?
-->'''Catherine''': No, you may not!
-->'''Lily''': Very well then, (turns to Riley) but if you are unpleasant to Catherine I will throw you in the ocean.

to:

-->'''Lily'''[[labelnote:*]](A 15+ tonne battle-trained acid spitting dragon Harcourt raised from an egg)[[/labelnote]]: Mayn't I?
-->'''Catherine''':
I?\\
'''Catherine''':
No, you may not!
-->'''Lily''':
not!\\
'''Lily''':
Very well then, (turns to Riley) but if you are unpleasant to Catherine I will throw you in the ocean.



*** She is less friendly in "Echo" when she finds out [[spoiler:Clark has been abusing his temporary mind reading ability to get Lois on a date.]]

to:

*** ** She is less friendly in "Echo" when she finds out [[spoiler:Clark has been abusing his temporary mind reading ability to get Lois on a date.]]



-->'''Chloe''': I know you're used to getting whatever you want without even thinking about the consequences, but I promise you if you hurt my friend, there will be a consequence. And you're looking at her.
-->'''Lex''': [[MagnificentBastard Chloe, I think I’m getting an inkling why you've never had a boyfriend.]]

to:

-->'''Chloe''': --->'''Chloe''': I know you're used to getting whatever you want without even thinking about the consequences, but I promise you if you hurt my friend, there will be a consequence. And you're looking at her.
-->'''Lex''':
her.\\
'''Lex''':
[[MagnificentBastard Chloe, I think I’m getting an inkling why you've never had a boyfriend.]]



-->'''Willow''': Have fun! And remember, if you hurt her, I'll beat you to death with a shovel.
-->'''Riley''': [''pulls questioning face'']
-->'''Willow''': [''matter-of-fact-ly''] A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend.

to:

-->'''Willow''': Have fun! And remember, if you hurt her, I'll beat you to death with a shovel.
-->'''Riley''':
shovel.\\
'''Riley''':
[''pulls questioning face'']
-->'''Willow''':
face'']\\
'''Willow''':
[''matter-of-fact-ly''] A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend.



--->'''Dawn''': Spike. You sleep, right? You. Vampires. You sleep.
--->'''Spike''': Yeah. What's your point, niblet?
--->'''Dawn''': Well, I can't take you in a fight or anything, even with a chip in your head. But you do sleep. If you hurt my sister at all… touch her… you're gonna wake up on fire.

to:

--->'''Dawn''': Spike. You sleep, right? You. Vampires. You sleep.
--->'''Spike''':
sleep.\\
'''Spike''':
Yeah. What's your point, niblet?
--->'''Dawn''':
niblet?\\
'''Dawn''':
Well, I can't take you in a fight or anything, even with a chip in your head. But you do sleep. If you hurt my sister at all… touch her… you're gonna wake up on fire.



* In ''WesternAnimation/WonderWoman'', when Steve Trevor asks Artemis what Wonder Woman's deal is, she replies
--->''Artemis'': Her deal is that I will personally castrate you if you come within five yards of her.

to:

* In ''WesternAnimation/WonderWoman'', when Steve Trevor asks Artemis what Wonder Woman's deal is, she replies
--->''Artemis'':
replies:
-->''Artemis'':
Her deal is that I will personally castrate you if you come within five yards of her.



-->Max: If you break her heart, I will hunt you down and kill you.
-->Lucy: [smiles] Deal.

to:

-->Max: -->'''Max:''' If you break her heart, I will hunt you down and kill you.
-->Lucy:
you.\\
'''Lucy:'''
[smiles] Deal.



* In ''Series/{{Smallville}}'', ''Wrath'', after [[FanPreferredCouple Chloe and Clark]] finds out Lana's "Isis Foundation" is actually a cover for shady spying on Lex and Lana almost kills Lex, Chloe satisfyingly but subtly hits Lana with one of these.
-->'''Chloe''': In textbook talk, Isis is the goddess of love, and life, and healing. She even marched to the ends of the earth to help jump-start the man she loved. [[IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy I want Clark to have that kind of loyalty in his life]], but I'm just not sure it's from you.
-->'''Lana''': [[TheEndJustifiesTheMeans I would do anything for Clark.]]
-->'''Chloe''': [[ThouShaltNotKill Even kill.]] [[SarcasmMode What a lucky guy.]] What the textbook left out is that Isis is also the goddess of the underworld. She's responsible for bringing the great god Ra to his knees.
-->'''Lana''': You believe that I would do that to Clark.
-->'''Chloe''': Not intentionally, but I realize now that [[GoodIsDumb you're capable of it.]] You should just know that I'm not gonna let that happen.

to:

* In ''Series/{{Smallville}}'', ''Wrath'', "Wrath", after [[FanPreferredCouple Chloe and Clark]] finds find out Lana's "Isis Foundation" is actually a cover for shady spying on Lex and Lana almost kills Lex, Chloe satisfyingly but subtly hits Lana with one of these.
-->'''Chloe''': In textbook talk, Isis is the goddess of love, and life, and healing. She even marched to the ends of the earth to help jump-start the man she loved. [[IWantMyBelovedToBeHappy I want Clark to have that kind of loyalty in his life]], but I'm just not sure it's from you.
-->'''Lana''':
you.\\
'''Lana''':
[[TheEndJustifiesTheMeans I would do anything for Clark.]]
-->'''Chloe''':
]]\\
'''Chloe''':
[[ThouShaltNotKill Even kill.]] [[SarcasmMode What a lucky guy.]] What the textbook left out is that Isis is also the goddess of the underworld. She's responsible for bringing the great god Ra to his knees.
-->'''Lana''':
knees.\\
'''Lana''':
You believe that I would do that to Clark.
-->'''Chloe''':
Clark.\\
'''Chloe''':
Not intentionally, but I realize now that [[GoodIsDumb you're capable of it.]] You should just know that I'm not gonna let that happen.



-->And I'm gonna protect you till I die
-->I won't let nobody hurt you again
-->I'll fuck up your next girlfriend if she breaks your heart

to:

-->And I'm gonna protect you till I die
-->I
die\\
I
won't let nobody hurt you again
-->I'll
again\\
I'll
fuck up your next girlfriend if she breaks your heart
21st Mar '16 8:05:53 PM Eievie
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-->'''Kurt''': I'll agree to your staying with the team. But if you ever...
-->'''Brian''': ''Ever''...
-->'''Kurt''': Hurt Kitty...
-->'''Brian''': I will, without hesitation, tear off your head.
-->'''Kurt''': And I will spend days mocking and drawing pictures on it before teleporting it into the North Sea.

to:

-->'''Kurt''': I'll agree to your staying with the team. But if you ever...
-->'''Brian''': ''Ever''...
-->'''Kurt''':
ever…\\
'''Brian''': ''Ever''…\\
'''Kurt''':
Hurt Kitty...
-->'''Brian''':
Kitty…\\
'''Brian''':
I will, without hesitation, tear off your head.
-->'''Kurt''':
head.\\
'''Kurt''':
And I will spend days mocking and drawing pictures on it before teleporting it into the North Sea.



** An early '80s ''Comicbook/{{X-Men}}'' comic has Wolverine intending to beat some sense into Colossus after the latter breaks up with Kitty Pryde, but Wolvie settles for getting Colossus involved in a BarBrawl... with TheJuggernaut.

to:

** An early '80s ''Comicbook/{{X-Men}}'' comic has Wolverine intending to beat some sense into Colossus after the latter breaks up with Kitty Pryde, but Wolvie settles for getting Colossus involved in a BarBrawl... BarBrawl… with TheJuggernaut.



* In ''FanFic/EarthAndSky'', when Big Macintosh notices that Applejack and Apple Bloom are developing attractions to Soarin' and Pipsqueak (respectfully), he takes the latter two aside for a talk, and casually mentions that he doesn't like it when anypony upsets his sisters... and also that he can crush rocks the size of a stallion's head with his bare hooves. Soarin' is suitably scared, but Pip ''completely'' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint misses the point of the conversation.]] Pip does eventually get it... ''[[BrickJoke twenty-eight]]'' chapters later.

to:

* In ''FanFic/EarthAndSky'', when Big Macintosh notices that Applejack and Apple Bloom are developing attractions to Soarin' and Pipsqueak (respectfully), he takes the latter two aside for a talk, and casually mentions that he doesn't like it when anypony upsets his sisters... sisters… and also that he can crush rocks the size of a stallion's head with his bare hooves. Soarin' is suitably scared, but Pip ''completely'' [[ComicallyMissingThePoint misses the point of the conversation.]] Pip does eventually get it... it… ''[[BrickJoke twenty-eight]]'' chapters later.



-->"I was starting to get worried about her for a while, but she's cheered up a lot since you've been hanging out with us. I like that. Suzu is like a little sister to me. And if I find out you've made my little sister cry..."

to:

-->"I was starting to get worried about her for a while, but she's cheered up a lot since you've been hanging out with us. I like that. Suzu is like a little sister to me. And if I find out you've made my little sister cry..."cry…"



-->"If you are indeed going to try and pursue a relationship with my good ''dear'' friend Twilight, do take her feelings into consideration. She's a little... awkward socially. If you in some way... ''distress'' her, I will make you very, very sorry... '''forever'''. Compris?"

to:

-->"If you are indeed going to try and pursue a relationship with my good ''dear'' friend Twilight, do take her feelings into consideration. She's a little... little… awkward socially. If you in some way... way… ''distress'' her, I will make you very, very sorry... sorry… '''forever'''. Compris?"



-->'''Harry:''' Hello, Krum. While I know that I'm probably going out of bounds with this, but I just wanted to let you know that Hermione is my best mate—she's like a sister to me. So if you hurt her ''in any way'', I'll not only hex your balls off, but I'll also make the rest of your life a living hell. Just so you know—for future reference.

to:

-->'''Harry:''' Hello, Krum. While I know that I'm probably going out of bounds with this, but I just wanted to let you know that Hermione is my best mate—she's mate--she's like a sister to me. So if you hurt her ''in any way'', I'll not only hex your balls off, but I'll also make the rest of your life a living hell. Just so you know—for know--for future reference.



--> "You see… I am quite fond of Hermione. I understand that you have become attached to her, and if you want to be with her, we need to get some things straight. One; you will never be good enough in my eyes for her. No one will, however, I may come to accept the fact that you are with her if you kiss my arse enough. Two; Hurt her, I murder you. Three; Be nice to her friends—all of them. Her friends mean a lot to her. Four; Don't you ever ask her to choose between her friends and you, and don't even think about making her choose between her studies and you.\\

to:

--> "You see… I am quite fond of Hermione. I understand that you have become attached to her, and if you want to be with her, we need to get some things straight. One; you will never be good enough in my eyes for her. No one will, however, I may come to accept the fact that you are with her if you kiss my arse enough. Two; Hurt her, I murder you. Three; Be nice to her friends—all friends--all of them. Her friends mean a lot to her. Four; Don't you ever ask her to choose between her friends and you, and don't even think about making her choose between her studies and you.\\



-->"Should she come home in tears, or even the least bit upset about her night out, well..." He paused, for dramatic effect. "...I would suggest not coming back to the Guard tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after that. If you catch my drift."

to:

-->"Should she come home in tears, or even the least bit upset about her night out, well..." well…" He paused, for dramatic effect. "...I "…I would suggest not coming back to the Guard tomorrow. Or the next day. Or the day after that. If you catch my drift."



-->'''Tony:''' "So, it turns out, don't tell secrets to a guy with a physically manifesting subconscious."

to:

-->'''Tony:''' "So, So, it turns out, don't tell secrets to a guy with a physically manifesting subconscious."



* ''FanFic/OhGodNotAgain'': inverted. Remus is surprised that Sirius is not going to warn him about breaking Tonks's heart. Sirius replies that Tonks is old enough to take care of herself - and that she could castrate Remus far better than he ever could.

to:

* ''FanFic/OhGodNotAgain'': inverted.Inverted. Remus is surprised that Sirius is not going to warn him about breaking Tonks's heart. Sirius replies that Tonks is old enough to take care of herself - and herself--and that she could castrate Remus far better than he ever could.



-->'''Xander''': "You. Ab. Shovel. Comprende?"

to:

-->'''Xander''': "You.You. Ab. Shovel. Comprende?"Comprende?



-->'''Louise:''' "If you're lying... If you're just lying to get Saito to sympathize with you, even if Saito later forgives you, rest assured '''''I will not.'''''"

to:

-->'''Louise:''' "If If you're lying... If lying… if you're just lying to get Saito to sympathize with you, even if Saito later forgives you, rest assured '''''I will not.'''''"'''''



* The page quote comes from ''Film/MyBigFatGreekWedding'', but there it's a bit of a subversion. Niko tells Ian he's just kidding... and then threatens him again. [[RunningGag Over and over again]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=NnZL9DD-oag#t=227s including through a cut away.]]
* [[InvokedTrope Invoked]] and parodied in ''Film/LastActionHero'', when Danny growls at the BigBad when he has Madison in his clutches, "If you harm one hair on her---" the Big Bad interrupts, "Hold!", deliberately plucks a hair out of her head, then snaps it in front of Danny, daring him to finish his threat.

to:

* The page quote comes from ''Film/MyBigFatGreekWedding'', but there it's a bit of a subversion. Niko tells Ian he's just kidding... kidding… and then threatens him again. [[RunningGag Over and over again]], [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=NnZL9DD-oag#t=227s including through a cut away.]]
* [[InvokedTrope Invoked]] and parodied in ''Film/LastActionHero'', when Danny growls at the BigBad when he has Madison in his clutches, "If you harm one hair on her---" her--" the Big Bad interrupts, "Hold!", deliberately plucks a hair out of her head, then snaps it in front of Danny, daring him to finish his threat.



--> '''Gurkin''': If you try any funny stuff, I will unleash the power of the internet on you. I will register you as a sex offender in all 50 states... [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg and Canada.]]

to:

--> '''Gurkin''': If you try any funny stuff, I will unleash the power of the internet on you. I will register you as a sex offender in all 50 states... states… [[MyFriendsAndZoidberg and Canada.]]



-->'''Hal:''' "You deserve her ..." [uncomfortably] "... more than me. But lemme tell you something, if you ''ever'' mess up and make her unhappy, I'll be waitin' in the wings. And I'll pounce on you. Like a ... ''tiger!'' Like a tiger on a deer! With a cloven hoof, with a broken ... arm!"

to:

-->'''Hal:''' "You You deserve her ..." [uncomfortably] "... more her… ''[uncomfortably]'' …more than me. But lemme tell you something, if you ''ever'' mess up and make her unhappy, I'll be waitin' in the wings. And I'll pounce on you. Like a ... a… ''tiger!'' Like a tiger on a deer! With a cloven hoof, with a broken ... arm!"broken… arm!



--> '''Erik:''' I don't know if you're delusional or if you're pulling some kinda con; I don't care. I just care about her. I've seen the way she looks at you.
--> '''Thor:''' ...I swear to you, I mean her no harm.
--> '''Erik:''' Good. In that case, I'll buy you another round, and you leave town tonight.
--> '''Thor:''' ''*nods*''

to:

--> '''Erik:''' -->'''Erik:''' I don't know if you're delusional or if you're pulling some kinda con; I don't care. I just care about her. I've seen the way she looks at you.
--> '''Thor:''' ...I
you.\\
'''Thor:''' …I
swear to you, I mean her no harm.
-->
harm.\\
'''Erik:''' Good. In that case, I'll buy you another round, and you leave town tonight.
-->
tonight.\\
'''Thor:''' ''*nods*''



* ''TheRedemptionOfAlthalus'' sees [[spoiler:Deiwos warning Althalus in this way. Considering Deiwos is a god, Althalus has good reason to never think about slipping up...]]

to:

* ''TheRedemptionOfAlthalus'' sees [[spoiler:Deiwos warning Althalus in this way. Considering Deiwos is a god, Althalus has good reason to never think about slipping up...]]up…]]



* PlayedForLaughs in ''Series/{{Smallville}}'', "Trespass". Jimmy is convinced that Chloe is leaving him for Clark and says something like that, despite [[JustFriends there is ]][[LikeBrotherAndSister nothing between]] [[FanPreferredCouple Chloe and Clark]] (at least, [[ShipTease not now...]]) and that even not counting his abilities, Clark is a big guy and Jimmy is kind of skinny.

to:

* PlayedForLaughs in ''Series/{{Smallville}}'', "Trespass". Jimmy is convinced that Chloe is leaving him for Clark and says something like that, despite [[JustFriends there is ]][[LikeBrotherAndSister nothing between]] [[FanPreferredCouple Chloe and Clark]] (at least, [[ShipTease not now...]]) now…]]) and that even not counting his abilities, Clark is a big guy and Jimmy is kind of skinny.



--> '''Wesley''': Apparently...

to:

--> '''Wesley''': Apparently...Apparently…



*** Huge {{irony}} that time,as Gunn soon discovers in that ep that his own actions [[spoiler:led to her death.]]
* Subverted in ''Series/{{Friends}}'': Ross tells Chandler before his wedding to Monica that if he hurt her, he would "hunt him down, and kick his ass"... to Chandler's great amusement and laughter. Which is interesting, considering that, in a later episode, the others find it laughable that Chandler could beat Ross up.
** Of course, then in another episode, Ross and Chandler are stuck in an arm wrestling match due to being "equally weak". For the joke is that ''neither'' of those guys is remotely violent or physically threatening. Monica herself though...
** Part of the point was that if Chandler screws up, Monica can and will kick his ass before Ross even manages to punch Chandler hard once. Though there is that whole "My Sandwich" incident...

to:

*** Huge {{irony}} that time,as time, as Gunn soon discovers in that ep that his own actions [[spoiler:led to her death.]]
* Subverted in ''Series/{{Friends}}'': Ross tells Chandler before his wedding to Monica that if he hurt her, he would "hunt him down, and kick his ass"... to ass"--to Chandler's great amusement and laughter. Which is interesting, considering that, in a later episode, the others find it laughable that Chandler ''Chandler'' could beat Ross ''Ross'' up.
** Of course, then in another episode, Ross and Chandler are stuck in an arm wrestling match due to being "equally weak". For the joke is that ''neither'' of those guys is remotely violent or physically threatening. Monica herself though...
though…
** Part of the point was that if Chandler screws up, Monica can and will kick his ass before Ross even manages to punch Chandler hard once. Though there is that whole "My Sandwich" incident...incident…



** Another good one is # 4: ''"I'm sure you've been told in today's world, sex, without using a 'barrier method' of some kind, can kill you... let me elaborate; when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you."''

to:

** Another good one is # 4: ''"I'm sure you've been told in today's world, sex, without using a 'barrier method' of some kind, can kill you... you… let me elaborate; when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you."''



** When Elliot is following Dr Cox's bad advice on getting Jake's interest ("First you engage him, ''then'' you ignore him"), the Janitor swoops down on a bewildered Jake to demand "What did you say to make Eliot run off like that? Because it you hurt her..." The Janitor would later ''kidnap'' [[RomanticFalseLead Keith]] to make the same point (as a "wedding gift").

to:

** When Elliot is following Dr Cox's bad advice on getting Jake's interest ("First you engage him, ''then'' you ignore him"), the Janitor swoops down on a bewildered Jake to demand "What did you say to make Eliot run off like that? Because it you hurt her..." her…" The Janitor would later ''kidnap'' [[RomanticFalseLead Keith]] to make the same point (as a "wedding gift").



--> '''Sam''': Anything happens to Sookie, I promise... I'll be sharpening a stake with your name on it.

to:

--> '''Sam''': Anything happens to Sookie, I promise... promise… I'll be sharpening a stake with your name on it.



* At the end of the ''SportsNight'' episode "Sally", Casey has a conversation with Gordon that starts out sounding like this, until the reveal that [[spoiler:Gordon is already cheating on Dana -- and Casey knows about it.]]

to:

* At the end of the ''SportsNight'' episode "Sally", Casey has a conversation with Gordon that starts out sounding like this, until the reveal that [[spoiler:Gordon is already cheating on Dana -- and Dana--and Casey knows about it.]]



-->'''Dean:''' "Aiden. Listen, there's something I want to tell you about Krissy..."
-->'''Aiden:''' "Oh, I know, you'll kill me if I hurt her, [[BlahBlahBlah blah blah blah...]]"
-->'''Dean:''' "No, no. No, ''she'll'' kill you." [''pats Aiden on the back''] "Good luck."
* ''Series/{{Defiance}}'': After learning of their relationship, Nolan tells Tommy that if he ever hurts Irisa, [[ImpliedDeathThreat he'll get his answer to if there is a God... in person]].

to:

-->'''Dean:''' "Aiden. Aiden. Listen, there's something I want to tell you about Krissy..."
-->'''Aiden:''' "Oh,
Krissy…\\
'''Aiden:''' Oh,
I know, you'll kill me if I hurt her, [[BlahBlahBlah blah blah blah...]]"
-->'''Dean:''' "No,
blah…]]\\
'''Dean:''' No,
no. No, ''she'll'' kill you." [''pats ''[pats Aiden on the back''] "Good luck."
back]'' Good luck.
* ''Series/{{Defiance}}'': After learning of their relationship, Nolan tells Tommy that if he ever hurts Irisa, [[ImpliedDeathThreat he'll get his answer to if there is a God... God… in person]].



--> "Boy? Look at me. See that girl over there? She's my only daughter, man. She's ''my life''. And if you have any thoughts about huggin' or kissin'... you remember these words. I got no problem going ''back'' to prison."

to:

--> "Boy? Look at me. See that girl over there? She's my only daughter, man. She's ''my life''. And if you have any thoughts about huggin' or kissin'... kissin'… you remember these words. I got no problem going ''back'' to prison."



-->'''Fenris''': You are...living with Hawke now?\\

to:

-->'''Fenris''': You are...are… living with Hawke now?\\



'''Wooster''': You...you couldn't!\\

to:

'''Wooster''': You...You… you couldn't!\\



* ''Webcomic/GirlsNextDoor'' gave us one where [[ThePhantomOfTheOpera Erik]] warns [[ThePhantomOfTheOpera Raoul]] ... which gets subverted quickly because the effect is not the same over Skype, Erik being the MurderIsTheBestSolution type and [[ThePhantomOfTheOpera Christine]] standing right behind him.

to:

* ''Webcomic/GirlsNextDoor'' gave us one where [[ThePhantomOfTheOpera Erik]] warns [[ThePhantomOfTheOpera Raoul]] ... Raoul]]… which gets subverted quickly because the effect is not the same over Skype, Erik being the MurderIsTheBestSolution type and [[ThePhantomOfTheOpera Christine]] standing right behind him.



--> '''Rayne''': It goes without saying that should you cause her to so much as frown slightly - ''(evil face)'' The revolutionary guard will find you on the Iranian border, [[ToThePain wrapped in an American Flag and in possession of a camera filled with pictures of their nuclear reactors.]]\\

to:

--> '''Rayne''': It goes without saying that should you cause her to so much as frown slightly - ''(evil slightly--''(evil face)'' The revolutionary guard will find you on the Iranian border, [[ToThePain wrapped in an American Flag and in possession of a camera filled with pictures of their nuclear reactors.]]\\



* Spoofed in ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'', when Zapp Brannigan tells Fry (who is pretending to be Leela's boyfriend) that if he screws up or hurts Leela in any way, Zapp will dive in to take his place "...like a fly on a particularly seductive piece of manure."

to:

* Spoofed in ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'', when Zapp Brannigan tells Fry (who is pretending to be Leela's boyfriend) that if he screws up or hurts Leela in any way, Zapp will dive in to take his place "...like "…like a fly on a particularly seductive piece of manure."



* Similarly in ''WesternAnimation/DannyPhantom'' where Paulina's father declares to her date, Danny...these lines...
---> '''Danny''': ''*nervous*'' Uh...hi, you must be Paulina's father. ''*gulps as her father cracks his knuckles*''
---> '''[[OverprotectiveDad Paulina's Dad]]''': If you upset her...[[CurbStompBattle We're going to have a very]] ''[[CurbStompBattle violent talk]]''.
---> ''Then a few minutes later.''
---> '''[[OverprotectiveDad Paulina's Dad]]''': I know where you live.
---> '''Danny''': ''[[OptOut *leaves with Paulina*]]'' [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere And I'm glad we had this chance to chat]]!

to:

* Similarly in ''WesternAnimation/DannyPhantom'' where Paulina's father declares to her date, Danny...these lines...
---> '''Danny''':
Danny…
-->'''Danny''':
''*nervous*'' Uh...Uh… hi, you must be Paulina's father. ''*gulps as her father cracks his knuckles*''
--->
knuckles*''\\
'''[[OverprotectiveDad Paulina's Dad]]''': If you upset her...her… [[CurbStompBattle We're going to have a very]] ''[[CurbStompBattle violent talk]]''.
--->
talk]]''.\\
''Then a few minutes later.''
--->
''\\
'''[[OverprotectiveDad Paulina's Dad]]''': I know where you live.
--->
live.\\
'''Danny''': ''[[OptOut *leaves with Paulina*]]'' [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere And I'm glad we had this chance to chat]]!



* In ''Manga/KimagureOrangeRoad'', [[BrokenBird Madoka]] often warns [[OrdinaryHighSchoolStudent Kyosuke]] to not make his sort-of girlfriend [[GenkiGirl Hikaru]] cry. Problem is, Kyousuke cares for Hikaru yet is in love with Madoka... and Madoka also falls for him, despite her efforts to aid Hikaru and [[{{Tsundere}} her own reluctance to admit it]]. In the anime, [[TearJerker it didn't end well]]. This also applies to the local ChewToy, Yuusaku, who loves Hikaru despite her rejecting him often and constantly warns Kyosuke to not hurt either her or Madoka.

to:

* In ''Manga/KimagureOrangeRoad'', [[BrokenBird Madoka]] often warns [[OrdinaryHighSchoolStudent Kyosuke]] to not make his sort-of girlfriend [[GenkiGirl Hikaru]] cry. Problem is, Kyousuke cares for Hikaru yet is in love with Madoka... Madoka… and Madoka also falls for him, despite her efforts to aid Hikaru and [[{{Tsundere}} her own reluctance to admit it]]. In the anime, [[TearJerker it didn't end well]]. This also applies to the local ChewToy, Yuusaku, who loves Hikaru despite her rejecting him often and constantly warns Kyosuke to not hurt either her or Madoka.



* Shortly after Takayuki and Haruka hook up in the first episode of ''VisualNovel/RumblingHearts'', Haruka's best friend Mitsuki warns him not to string Haruka along, or she'll make him regret it...violently, if necessary.

to:

* Shortly after Takayuki and Haruka hook up in the first episode of ''VisualNovel/RumblingHearts'', Haruka's best friend Mitsuki warns him not to string Haruka along, or she'll make him regret it...it… violently, if necessary.



-->'''Misha''': "I TOLD YOU TO TAKE CARE OF SHIICHAN! IF YOU'RE CHEATING ON HER OR MAKING HER CRY, I'M GOING TO FLY DOWN THERE AND KICK YOU IN THE BUTT SO HARD YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO SIT RIGHT FOR A MONTH!"

to:

-->'''Misha''': "I I TOLD YOU TO TAKE CARE OF SHIICHAN! IF YOU'RE CHEATING ON HER OR MAKING HER CRY, I'M GOING TO FLY DOWN THERE AND KICK YOU IN THE BUTT SO HARD YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO SIT RIGHT FOR A MONTH!"MONTH!



-->'''Sister-in-Law:''' If you screw this up I'll fucking kill you.
-->'''Jerry:''' ... I'm glad we had this talk...

to:

-->'''Sister-in-Law:''' If you screw this up I'll fucking kill you.
-->'''Jerry:''' ... I'm
you.\\
'''Jerry:''' …I'm
glad we had this talk...talk…



* In the fourth {{Temeraire}} novel, ''Empire of Ivory'', during the SpeakNowOrForeverHoldYourPeace moment of the wedding between Catherine Harcourt and Tom Riley...

to:

* In the fourth {{Temeraire}} novel, ''Empire of Ivory'', during the SpeakNowOrForeverHoldYourPeace moment of the wedding between Catherine Harcourt and Tom Riley...Riley…



* In ''Series/PeakyBlinders'', Aunt Polly threats Freddie--the new husband of Ada, the niece who's like a daughter to her:
-->'''Polly:''' You lay a hand on our Ada, and I'll put you in a wooden box myself.



--->'''Dawn''': Well, I can't take you in a fight or anything, even with a chip in your head. But you do sleep. If you hurt my sister at all... touch her... you're gonna wake up on fire.

to:

--->'''Dawn''': Well, I can't take you in a fight or anything, even with a chip in your head. But you do sleep. If you hurt my sister at all... all… touch her... her… you're gonna wake up on fire.



* ''Series/GoodLuckCharlie'' has one when Teddy tells her parents that she's dating her ex boyfriend Spencer again--who she broke up with because he cheated on her. Teddy's mom gives her blessing and then says "If you ever hurt my little girl again... BAM!!"

to:

* ''Series/GoodLuckCharlie'' has one when Teddy tells her parents that she's dating her ex boyfriend Spencer again--who she broke up with because he cheated on her. Teddy's mom gives her blessing and then says "If you ever hurt my little girl again... again… BAM!!"



* In the ''Series/{{Grimm}}'' episode "The Good Soldier", Rosalee's sister - who's just met her sister's long-term partner for the first time, and spent most of that meeting being too angry with Rosalee to speak to him - sneaks up behind him while [[GameFace voged]], and snarls this at him. He's understandably taken aback.

to:

* In the ''Series/{{Grimm}}'' episode "The Good Soldier", Rosalee's sister - who's sister--who's just met her sister's long-term partner for the first time, and spent most of that meeting being too angry with Rosalee to speak to him - sneaks him--sneaks up behind him while [[GameFace voged]], and snarls this at him. He's understandably taken aback.



* ''{{Spaced}}'': Mike, who is intensely jealous of Tim's new girlfriend Sophie, warns her that "You hurt him, I'll kill you." Sophie, shocked, asks Tim if he was serious... to which Tim chuckles good-naturedly and replies, with complete, genial sincerity, "Yep."

to:

* ''{{Spaced}}'': Mike, who is intensely jealous of Tim's new girlfriend Sophie, warns her that "You hurt him, I'll kill you." Sophie, shocked, asks Tim if he was serious... serious… to which Tim chuckles good-naturedly and replies, with complete, genial sincerity, "Yep."
7th Mar '16 3:18:37 PM LtFedora
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* Used in ''TheOffice'', (US Version) in "Phyllis gets Married", where Michael Scott says to Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration: "If you ever lay a finger on Phyllis, I'll kill you." Bob Vance replies with, "If ''you'' ever lay a finger on Phyllis, I'll kill ''you''."

to:

* Used in ''TheOffice'', (US Version) ''Series/TheOfficeUS'', in "Phyllis gets Married", where Michael Scott says to Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration: "If you ever lay a finger on Phyllis, I'll kill you." Bob Vance replies with, "If ''you'' ever lay a finger on Phyllis, I'll kill ''you''."
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Main.IfYouEverDoAnythingToHurtHer