History Main / HowToSurviveAHorrorMovie

26th Feb '13 4:35:07 PM Xtifr
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->''"I'm sorry to the countless people whose lives I've cut short. The characters who've become unwilling sacrifices to my art: The buxom [[BadlyBatteredBabysitter babysitters]]. The [[PoliceAreUseless doubting cops]]. The [[OverprotectiveDad overbearing]] [[MyBelovedSmother parents]] and [[DoggedNiceGuy well-intentioned boyfriends]]. Teens with their whole lives ahead of them. Decent, hardworking adults. All sent to an early grave in the name of [[MoneyDearBoy box-office gold]]."''
-->-- An apology from '''Creator/WesCraven'''

You know the handy rules that ''Film/{{Scream 1996}}'' provided us on surviving a horror movie? Well, somebody's expanded them into a whole book.

''{{How to Survive a Horror Movie}}: All the Skills to Dodge the Kills'' is a book by horror lover Seth Grahame-Smith (of later ''Literature/{{Pride and Prejudice and Zombies}}'' fame) that details what you should do in the event that you find yourself stuck in a horror movie. In it, you will learn how to [[Film/TheExorcist perform an exorcism]], what to do if [[Film/IKnowWhatYouDidLastSummer you did something last summer]], how to persuade [[PoliceAreUseless the skeptical local sheriff]], how to kill [[Film/ChildsPlay a murderous doll]], how to survive an AlienInvasion, what to do if [[TheSixthSense you've been dead]] [[DeadAllAlong since the beginning]] [[ItWasHisSled of the movie]], how to defeat {{Satan}} himself, and many other useful skills. It's divided into six chapters, each devoted to a particular subgenre: an introduction (how to tell that you're in a horror movie, and rules that apply across the genre), [[SlasherMovie slashers]], evil inanimate objects, the undead (namely [[OurGhostsAreDifferent ghosts]], [[OurVampiresAreDifferent vampires]] and [[ZombieApocalypse zombies]]), [[AlienInvasion aliens]] and beasts, and finally, [[DemonicPossession demonic]] and [[ReligiousHorror religious]] evil.

!!Tropes:
* AffectionateParody: Of horror movies in general.
* BlackDudeDiesFirst: Two of the stock characters named in the first chapter are "The Black Guy Who Buys It 20 Minutes In" and "[[SassyBlackWoman The Black Guy's Girlfriend]] Who Buys It 24 Minutes In".
* TheCameo: Wes Craven writes the foreword for the book, in which he apologizes to all of the [[RedShirt disposable victims]] who have been killed off in his movies. A sample forms the page quote.
* ChainsawGood: Highly recommended for fighting monsters.
* CuriosityKilledTheCast: Investigating strange sounds is never a good idea.
* DeadAllAlong: The book has a very obvious way of testing whether or not this is you. Just ask ''very specific'' questions, not vague ones. To several people, not just one.
* DeathBySex: Subverted, believe it or not; it's only [[AutoErotica having sex]] ''[[TerrorAtMakeOutPoint in a car]]'' that will kill you.
* DontGoInTheWoods
* EverythingTryingToKillYou
* FinalGirl: Lampshaded, like so many other horror tropes.
* GenreSavvy: What this book is supposed to make you be. It points out dozens of horror movie clichés, tells you how to {{def|iedTrope}}y and {{subvert|edTrope}} them, what to do if you ''do'' make that clichéd choice...
* GenreShift: One of the "ejection seats" (quick escapes from the Terrorverse of horror movies) provided is to start acting as though you were in another movie, such as a [[WackyFratboyHijinx wacky teen comedy]], an [[LeFilmArtistique artsy foreign film]], a [[PeriodPiece Merchant-Ivory work]], or a [[EverybodyWasKungFuFighting Kung-fu]] [[HongKongDub movie]].
* HollywoodHomely[=/=]DawsonCasting: InUniverse. If all of your friends look suspiciously like cast members from ''Series/{{Smallville}}'' or ''Series/GilmoreGirls'', then your chances of death have just risen tenfold.
* LeaningOnTheFourthWall: Characters that do this are referred to as "dual citizens". Very often, they're gas station attendants, homeless guys or barflies. If this person starts talking about local {{urban legends}} or giving you a grisly lesson in local history (i.e. providing the audience with some backstory), that's your cue to run like hell.
* TheLostWoods
* MoneyDearBoy: How do you tell if you're in a sequel? One of the ways is that you have the oddest feeling that you're only here for the money.
* RageAgainstTheAuthor: The books are basically a guide for how to escape from malicious horror writers who are trying to get you brutally murdered.
** Inverted in the preface, in which Wes Craven apologizes profusely to all the fictional characters he's killed off or terrorized in his films over the years.
* RecycledInSpace: A horror movie set IN SPACE! is a sign of one of two things. On one hand, you could be in a crappy sequel to a slasher franchise that's {{jumped the shark}}, in which case you'll probably survive, since the writers are getting really lazy by this point. On the other hand, you could be in a big-budget alien monster movie, and with those high production values (usually) comes a better script than the average horror movie -- and trickier, more inventive writers trying to kill you.
* RunningGag: About just how dangerous log cabins are.
* {{Satan}}: Defeated by way of [[spoiler:MaleFrontalNudity, which doesn't exist in the Terrorverse. Therefore, showing your junk will instantly pull you out of a horror movie.]]
** If only that worked in ''ISpitOnYourGrave''...
* SciFiGhetto: InUniverse, lampooned with regards to horror movies. See WrongGenreSavvy.
* SelfDeprecation: The general low quality, low budgets and [[ClicheStorm clichéd writing]] that show up in [[SturgeonsLaw many horror movies]] (especially [[SlasherMovie slashers]]) is a frequent target of parody. One of the "ejection seats" is great, well-written dialogue, and another is fleeing to a location that's far too expensive for the cash-strapped producers of a horror movie to shoot in.
* ShoutOut: By the boatload, to just about every classic horror movie and to some not-so-classic ones. Some of the scenarios are {{Whole Plot Reference}}s to ''SnakesOnAPlane'', ''ChildrenOfTheCorn'' and ''Film/TheExorcist''.
* SortingAlgorithmOfMortality
* SummerCampy: The most dangerous place to be in the Terrorverse is at a summer camp.
* TomeOfEldritchLore
* WrongGenreSavvy: If you find yourself in a big-budget production (really?), then odds are good you're in a {{psychological thriller}}, not a horror movie. In which case, the only advice the book can offer is that your missing child probably never existed, and that [[TheUnfairSex your husband]] is the bad guy.
* ZombieApocalypse
----

to:

->''"I'm sorry to the countless people whose lives I've cut short. The characters who've become unwilling sacrifices to my art: The buxom [[BadlyBatteredBabysitter babysitters]]. The [[PoliceAreUseless doubting cops]]. The [[OverprotectiveDad overbearing]] [[MyBelovedSmother parents]] and [[DoggedNiceGuy well-intentioned boyfriends]]. Teens with their whole lives ahead of them. Decent, hardworking adults. All sent to an early grave in the name of [[MoneyDearBoy box-office gold]]."''
-->-- An apology from '''Creator/WesCraven'''

You know the handy rules that ''Film/{{Scream 1996}}'' provided us on surviving a horror movie? Well, somebody's expanded them into a whole book.

''{{How to Survive a Horror Movie}}: All the Skills to Dodge the Kills'' is a book by horror lover Seth Grahame-Smith (of later ''Literature/{{Pride and Prejudice and Zombies}}'' fame) that details what you should do in the event that you find yourself stuck in a horror movie. In it, you will learn how to [[Film/TheExorcist perform an exorcism]], what to do if [[Film/IKnowWhatYouDidLastSummer you did something last summer]], how to persuade [[PoliceAreUseless the skeptical local sheriff]], how to kill [[Film/ChildsPlay a murderous doll]], how to survive an AlienInvasion, what to do if [[TheSixthSense you've been dead]] [[DeadAllAlong since the beginning]] [[ItWasHisSled of the movie]], how to defeat {{Satan}} himself, and many other useful skills. It's divided into six chapters, each devoted to a particular subgenre: an introduction (how to tell that you're in a horror movie, and rules that apply across the genre), [[SlasherMovie slashers]], evil inanimate objects, the undead (namely [[OurGhostsAreDifferent ghosts]], [[OurVampiresAreDifferent vampires]] and [[ZombieApocalypse zombies]]), [[AlienInvasion aliens]] and beasts, and finally, [[DemonicPossession demonic]] and [[ReligiousHorror religious]] evil.

!!Tropes:
* AffectionateParody: Of horror movies in general.
* BlackDudeDiesFirst: Two of the stock characters named in the first chapter are "The Black Guy Who Buys It 20 Minutes In" and "[[SassyBlackWoman The Black Guy's Girlfriend]] Who Buys It 24 Minutes In".
* TheCameo: Wes Craven writes the foreword for the book, in which he apologizes to all of the [[RedShirt disposable victims]] who have been killed off in his movies. A sample forms the page quote.
* ChainsawGood: Highly recommended for fighting monsters.
* CuriosityKilledTheCast: Investigating strange sounds is never a good idea.
* DeadAllAlong: The book has a very obvious way of testing whether or not this is you. Just ask ''very specific'' questions, not vague ones. To several people, not just one.
* DeathBySex: Subverted, believe it or not; it's only [[AutoErotica having sex]] ''[[TerrorAtMakeOutPoint in a car]]'' that will kill you.
* DontGoInTheWoods
* EverythingTryingToKillYou
* FinalGirl: Lampshaded, like so many other horror tropes.
* GenreSavvy: What this book is supposed to make you be. It points out dozens of horror movie clichés, tells you how to {{def|iedTrope}}y and {{subvert|edTrope}} them, what to do if you ''do'' make that clichéd choice...
* GenreShift: One of the "ejection seats" (quick escapes from the Terrorverse of horror movies) provided is to start acting as though you were in another movie, such as a [[WackyFratboyHijinx wacky teen comedy]], an [[LeFilmArtistique artsy foreign film]], a [[PeriodPiece Merchant-Ivory work]], or a [[EverybodyWasKungFuFighting Kung-fu]] [[HongKongDub movie]].
* HollywoodHomely[=/=]DawsonCasting: InUniverse. If all of your friends look suspiciously like cast members from ''Series/{{Smallville}}'' or ''Series/GilmoreGirls'', then your chances of death have just risen tenfold.
* LeaningOnTheFourthWall: Characters that do this are referred to as "dual citizens". Very often, they're gas station attendants, homeless guys or barflies. If this person starts talking about local {{urban legends}} or giving you a grisly lesson in local history (i.e. providing the audience with some backstory), that's your cue to run like hell.
* TheLostWoods
* MoneyDearBoy: How do you tell if you're in a sequel? One of the ways is that you have the oddest feeling that you're only here for the money.
* RageAgainstTheAuthor: The books are basically a guide for how to escape from malicious horror writers who are trying to get you brutally murdered.
** Inverted in the preface, in which Wes Craven apologizes profusely to all the fictional characters he's killed off or terrorized in his films over the years.
* RecycledInSpace: A horror movie set IN SPACE! is a sign of one of two things. On one hand, you could be in a crappy sequel to a slasher franchise that's {{jumped the shark}}, in which case you'll probably survive, since the writers are getting really lazy by this point. On the other hand, you could be in a big-budget alien monster movie, and with those high production values (usually) comes a better script than the average horror movie -- and trickier, more inventive writers trying to kill you.
* RunningGag: About just how dangerous log cabins are.
* {{Satan}}: Defeated by way of [[spoiler:MaleFrontalNudity, which doesn't exist in the Terrorverse. Therefore, showing your junk will instantly pull you out of a horror movie.]]
** If only that worked in ''ISpitOnYourGrave''...
* SciFiGhetto: InUniverse, lampooned with regards to horror movies. See WrongGenreSavvy.
* SelfDeprecation: The general low quality, low budgets and [[ClicheStorm clichéd writing]] that show up in [[SturgeonsLaw many horror movies]] (especially [[SlasherMovie slashers]]) is a frequent target of parody. One of the "ejection seats" is great, well-written dialogue, and another is fleeing to a location that's far too expensive for the cash-strapped producers of a horror movie to shoot in.
* ShoutOut: By the boatload, to just about every classic horror movie and to some not-so-classic ones. Some of the scenarios are {{Whole Plot Reference}}s to ''SnakesOnAPlane'', ''ChildrenOfTheCorn'' and ''Film/TheExorcist''.
* SortingAlgorithmOfMortality
* SummerCampy: The most dangerous place to be in the Terrorverse is at a summer camp.
* TomeOfEldritchLore
* WrongGenreSavvy: If you find yourself in a big-budget production (really?), then odds are good you're in a {{psychological thriller}}, not a horror movie. In which case, the only advice the book can offer is that your missing child probably never existed, and that [[TheUnfairSex your husband]] is the bad guy.
* ZombieApocalypse
----
[[redirect:Literature/HowToSurviveAHorrorMovie]]
9th Feb '13 5:53:09 AM erforce
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->''I'm sorry to the countless people whose lives I've cut short. The characters who've become unwilling sacrifices to my art: The buxom [[BadlyBatteredBabysitter babysitters]]. The [[PoliceAreUseless doubting cops]]. The [[OverprotectiveDad overbearing]] [[MyBelovedSmother parents]] and [[DoggedNiceGuy well-intentioned boyfriends]]. Teens with their whole lives ahead of them. Decent, hardworking adults. All sent to an early grave in the name of [[MoneyDearBoy box-office gold]].''
-->--An apology from WesCraven

You know the handy rules that ''Film/{{Scream}}'' provided us on surviving a horror movie? Well, somebody's expanded them into a whole book.

to:

->''I'm ->''"I'm sorry to the countless people whose lives I've cut short. The characters who've become unwilling sacrifices to my art: The buxom [[BadlyBatteredBabysitter babysitters]]. The [[PoliceAreUseless doubting cops]]. The [[OverprotectiveDad overbearing]] [[MyBelovedSmother parents]] and [[DoggedNiceGuy well-intentioned boyfriends]]. Teens with their whole lives ahead of them. Decent, hardworking adults. All sent to an early grave in the name of [[MoneyDearBoy box-office gold]].''
-->--An
"''
-->-- An
apology from WesCraven

'''Creator/WesCraven'''

You know the handy rules that ''Film/{{Scream}}'' ''Film/{{Scream 1996}}'' provided us on surviving a horror movie? Well, somebody's expanded them into a whole book.
26th Jan '13 11:08:22 AM nombretomado
Is there an issue? Send a Message


''{{How to Survive a Horror Movie}}: All the Skills to Dodge the Kills'' is a book by horror lover Seth Grahame-Smith (of later ''{{Pride and Prejudice and Zombies}}'' fame) that details what you should do in the event that you find yourself stuck in a horror movie. In it, you will learn how to [[Film/TheExorcist perform an exorcism]], what to do if [[Film/IKnowWhatYouDidLastSummer you did something last summer]], how to persuade [[PoliceAreUseless the skeptical local sheriff]], how to kill [[Film/ChildsPlay a murderous doll]], how to survive an AlienInvasion, what to do if [[TheSixthSense you've been dead]] [[DeadAllAlong since the beginning]] [[ItWasHisSled of the movie]], how to defeat {{Satan}} himself, and many other useful skills. It's divided into six chapters, each devoted to a particular subgenre: an introduction (how to tell that you're in a horror movie, and rules that apply across the genre), [[SlasherMovie slashers]], evil inanimate objects, the undead (namely [[OurGhostsAreDifferent ghosts]], [[OurVampiresAreDifferent vampires]] and [[ZombieApocalypse zombies]]), [[AlienInvasion aliens]] and beasts, and finally, [[DemonicPossession demonic]] and [[ReligiousHorror religious]] evil.

to:

''{{How to Survive a Horror Movie}}: All the Skills to Dodge the Kills'' is a book by horror lover Seth Grahame-Smith (of later ''{{Pride ''Literature/{{Pride and Prejudice and Zombies}}'' fame) that details what you should do in the event that you find yourself stuck in a horror movie. In it, you will learn how to [[Film/TheExorcist perform an exorcism]], what to do if [[Film/IKnowWhatYouDidLastSummer you did something last summer]], how to persuade [[PoliceAreUseless the skeptical local sheriff]], how to kill [[Film/ChildsPlay a murderous doll]], how to survive an AlienInvasion, what to do if [[TheSixthSense you've been dead]] [[DeadAllAlong since the beginning]] [[ItWasHisSled of the movie]], how to defeat {{Satan}} himself, and many other useful skills. It's divided into six chapters, each devoted to a particular subgenre: an introduction (how to tell that you're in a horror movie, and rules that apply across the genre), [[SlasherMovie slashers]], evil inanimate objects, the undead (namely [[OurGhostsAreDifferent ghosts]], [[OurVampiresAreDifferent vampires]] and [[ZombieApocalypse zombies]]), [[AlienInvasion aliens]] and beasts, and finally, [[DemonicPossession demonic]] and [[ReligiousHorror religious]] evil.
28th Oct '12 1:04:00 PM Stratadrake
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''{{How to Survive a Horror Movie}}: All the Skills to Dodge the Kills'' is a book by horror lover Seth Grahame-Smith (of later ''{{Pride and Prejudice and Zombies}}'' fame) that details what you should do in the event that you find yourself stuck in a horror movie. In it, you will learn how to [[Film/TheExorcist perform an exorcism]], what to do if [[Film/IKnowWhatYouDidLastSummer you did something last summer]], how to persuade [[PoliceAreUseless the skeptical local sheriff]], how to kill [[ChildsPlay a murderous doll]], how to survive an AlienInvasion, what to do if [[TheSixthSense you've been dead]] [[DeadAllAlong since the beginning]] [[ItWasHisSled of the movie]], how to defeat {{Satan}} himself, and many other useful skills. It's divided into six chapters, each devoted to a particular subgenre: an introduction (how to tell that you're in a horror movie, and rules that apply across the genre), [[SlasherMovie slashers]], evil inanimate objects, the undead (namely [[OurGhostsAreDifferent ghosts]], [[OurVampiresAreDifferent vampires]] and [[ZombieApocalypse zombies]]), [[AlienInvasion aliens]] and beasts, and finally, [[DemonicPossession demonic]] and [[ReligiousHorror religious]] evil.

to:

''{{How to Survive a Horror Movie}}: All the Skills to Dodge the Kills'' is a book by horror lover Seth Grahame-Smith (of later ''{{Pride and Prejudice and Zombies}}'' fame) that details what you should do in the event that you find yourself stuck in a horror movie. In it, you will learn how to [[Film/TheExorcist perform an exorcism]], what to do if [[Film/IKnowWhatYouDidLastSummer you did something last summer]], how to persuade [[PoliceAreUseless the skeptical local sheriff]], how to kill [[ChildsPlay [[Film/ChildsPlay a murderous doll]], how to survive an AlienInvasion, what to do if [[TheSixthSense you've been dead]] [[DeadAllAlong since the beginning]] [[ItWasHisSled of the movie]], how to defeat {{Satan}} himself, and many other useful skills. It's divided into six chapters, each devoted to a particular subgenre: an introduction (how to tell that you're in a horror movie, and rules that apply across the genre), [[SlasherMovie slashers]], evil inanimate objects, the undead (namely [[OurGhostsAreDifferent ghosts]], [[OurVampiresAreDifferent vampires]] and [[ZombieApocalypse zombies]]), [[AlienInvasion aliens]] and beasts, and finally, [[DemonicPossession demonic]] and [[ReligiousHorror religious]] evil.
13th Aug '12 8:39:32 AM TheRedRedKroovy
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* DeathBySex: Subverted, believe it or not; it's only [[AutoErotica having sex]] ''[[AutoErotica in a car]]'' that will kill you.

to:

* DeathBySex: Subverted, believe it or not; it's only [[AutoErotica having sex]] ''[[AutoErotica ''[[TerrorAtMakeOutPoint in a car]]'' that will kill you.
5th Aug '12 7:59:21 PM TheRedRedKroovy
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* LeaningOnTheFourthWall: Characters that do this are referred to as "dual citizens". Very often, they're gas station attendants, homeless guys or barflies. If this person starts talking about local {{urban legends}} or giving you a grisly history lesson (i.e. providing the audience with some backstory), that's your cue to run like hell.

to:

* LeaningOnTheFourthWall: Characters that do this are referred to as "dual citizens". Very often, they're gas station attendants, homeless guys or barflies. If this person starts talking about local {{urban legends}} or giving you a grisly lesson in local history lesson (i.e. providing the audience with some backstory), that's your cue to run like hell.
5th Aug '12 7:05:29 PM TheRedRedKroovy
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* SciFiGhetto: Lampooned with regards to horror movies. See WrongGenreSavvy.

to:

* SciFiGhetto: Lampooned InUniverse, lampooned with regards to horror movies. See WrongGenreSavvy.
5th Aug '12 7:04:54 PM TheRedRedKroovy
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* HollywoodHomely[=/=]DawsonCasting: If all of your friends look suspiciously like cast members from ''Series/{{Smallville}}'' or ''Series/GilmoreGirls'', then your chances of death have just risen tenfold.

to:

* HollywoodHomely[=/=]DawsonCasting: InUniverse. If all of your friends look suspiciously like cast members from ''Series/{{Smallville}}'' or ''Series/GilmoreGirls'', then your chances of death have just risen tenfold.
5th Aug '12 7:04:38 PM TheRedRedKroovy
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Added DiffLines:

* HollywoodHomely[=/=]DawsonCasting: If all of your friends look suspiciously like cast members from ''Series/{{Smallville}}'' or ''Series/GilmoreGirls'', then your chances of death have just risen tenfold.
* LeaningOnTheFourthWall: Characters that do this are referred to as "dual citizens". Very often, they're gas station attendants, homeless guys or barflies. If this person starts talking about local {{urban legends}} or giving you a grisly history lesson (i.e. providing the audience with some backstory), that's your cue to run like hell.


Added DiffLines:

* MoneyDearBoy: How do you tell if you're in a sequel? One of the ways is that you have the oddest feeling that you're only here for the money.


Added DiffLines:

* SciFiGhetto: Lampooned with regards to horror movies. See WrongGenreSavvy.
8th Jun '12 4:38:12 PM ArenaL5
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* [=~Don't Go In The Woods~=]

to:

* [=~Don't Go In The Woods~=]DontGoInTheWoods



* [=~Recycled IN SPACE!~=]: A horror movie set IN SPACE! is a sign of one of two things. On one hand, you could be in a crappy sequel to a slasher franchise that's {{jumped the shark}}, in which case you'll probably survive, since the writers are getting really lazy by this point. On the other hand, you could be in a big-budget alien monster movie, and with those high production values (usually) comes a better script than the average horror movie -- and trickier, more inventive writers trying to kill you.

to:

* [=~Recycled IN SPACE!~=]: RecycledInSpace: A horror movie set IN SPACE! is a sign of one of two things. On one hand, you could be in a crappy sequel to a slasher franchise that's {{jumped the shark}}, in which case you'll probably survive, since the writers are getting really lazy by this point. On the other hand, you could be in a big-budget alien monster movie, and with those high production values (usually) comes a better script than the average horror movie -- and trickier, more inventive writers trying to kill you.
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