History Main / GrowingUpCullen

8th May '15 2:24:41 AM SeptimusHeap
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->''"EMMETT CAN YOU KEEP IT DOWN I AM READING PROUST!!!!"''

Once upon a time, the obsession known as ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' was and is still a great source of parody around the Internet. Mid-2008, two LJ-ers by the names of saint_renegade and oxymoronassoc went on a RP-ing session that greatly exaggerated the characters of ''Twilight'', especially Edward and Emmett Cullen.

In short, ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' was TurnedUpToEleven.

Icons and approval abounded, and in total five RP-ing sessions were posted, one official batch of icons, and [[FountainOfMemes many, many, many quotes.]]

Can be read [[http://oxymoronassoc.livejournal.com/462027.html here]].
----
!!Tropes:
* ActorAllusion: "NO I DO NOT THINK IT BIG HEADED TO THINK THAT I AM AS HANDSOME AS [[Film/HarryPotter CEDRIC]]. IT IS JUST A FACT OF LIFE"
* AllMenArePerverts[=/=]AllWomenArePrudes: Edward assumes that the kinkier aspects of Emmett and Rosalie's relationship are all Emmett's idea, since Rosalie is "TOO PURE FOR SUCH THINGS."
* AwesomeMccoolname: "WE ARE NAMING OUR KID EMMETTALIE IF WE EVER GET ONE...BOY OR GIRL, THAT'S IT'S NAME. IT'LL KICK THIS KID'S ASS. THE MIDDLE NAME IS GOING TO BE BASEBALL, THOUGH."
* TheAtoner: Edward becomes this whenever he breaks stuff.
* AutoErotica: Edward is horrified to learn that Emmett and Rosalie have had sex in his car.
* TheBeard: Rosalie becomes convinced Bella and Edward are this to each other.
* [[CantHoldHisLiquor Can't Hold Her Liquor]]: Bella apparently. This is likely just Edward overreacting once again.
* {{Canon}}: In ''Midnight Sun'' it turns out the Cullen's really do have family meetings. And Edward says himself in ''Breaking Dawn'' that he had a lot of time to pick up hobbies, since he wasn't involved with anyone.
* CharacterExaggeration: Half - no, ''all'' - of the fun.
** AlternateCharacterInterpretation
* ChivalrousPervert: Emmett when he thinks Edward is raping Bella. "THERE ARE RULES."
* ComedicSociopathy: Edward's tendencies toward stalking...and emotional abuse...and being pissy...
* CreepyChild: Renesmee. Emmett especially is creeped out by her power and the WifeHusbandry.
--> ''DUDE YOUR KID IS LIKE 8 MONTHS OLD AND MAKING GOO-GOO EYES AT THE DOG. I DON'T LIKE IT.''
* DigitalPiracyIsEvil: "THESE PEOPLE HAVE TO FEED THEIR FAMILES YOU KNOW"
* DirtyMindReading: "YOUR MIND CONFUSES ME EMMETT, PLEASE GO BACK TO THINKING ABOUT FOOTBALL...NO! NO EMMETT I SAID FOOTBALL, MY GOODNESS. NO I DO NOT WONDER WHAT [BELLA] LOOKS LIKE NAKED"
* EmoTeen: Edward, to a ludicrous extent.
* EverythingIsBetterWithMonkeys: Subverted when Edward flees to South America to deal with the break-up."VERMIN! LEAVE ME!"
* FamilyUnfriendlyViolence: How Edward sees Emmett's video-game habits.
--> ''"MUST YOU PISTOL WHIP EVERYONE, EMMETT?"''
* FreudianExcuse: "THESE YOUNG WOMEN HAVE OBVIOUSLY HAD A HARD LIFE SO THEY HAD TO SELL THEIR BODIES ON THE STREETS."
* HomemadeSweaterFromHell: Edward knits to get out his aggression.
* IAmAMonster: Word for word when Edward breaks Emmett's stereo and LET HIS CONTROL SLIP. And again when he uses the word "[[PrecisionFStrike dick]]."
* IkeaErotica: "IT SEEMS PRETTY SIMPLE TO ME, EDWARD" "INSERT TAB A INTO SLOT B"
* IntercourseWithYou: "NO EMMETT I DO NOT THINK THAT SONG IS ABOUT COPULATION."
* TheInternetIsForPorn: This too offends Edward.
* IvyLeagueForEveryOne: At least according to Edward.
* JerkJock: Emmett.
* AManIsNotAVirgin: Averted with Edward.
* MurderSimulators: When Emmett changes the music in the Volvo of Justice from Music/{{Nickelback}} to [[Music/FiftyCent 50 Cent]], Edward uses this argument.
* MyGirlIsNotASlut: "NO I DO NOT THINK SHE HAS HAD CARNAL RELATIONS WITH MIKE."
* NeatFreak: Did you know Edward will scrub the grout on the bathroom with a toothbrush?
-->''"THIS IS GROSS, HOW DO YOU WE LIVE LIKE THIS?"''
* NoIndoorVoice: All of Edward's lines ARE IN CAPITALS. Emmett's too.
** Most of the time. Sometimes the lines will revert to normal writing, which just makes it funnier when they go back to screaming at each other.
* NoPeriodsPeriod: Averted. Alice advises Bella on what to do for Edward's sake. And, y'know, ''[[StalkerWithACrush Edward tracks Bella's periods]]''.
* NotSoDifferent: Emmett can rant and throw tantrums just as well as Edward when his buttons are pushed. Especially if sports are involved.
* PrettyFlyForAWhiteGuy: Emmett.
* PunctuatedForEmphasis: JASPER I KNOW YOU ARE LAUGHING. I CAN READ. YOUR. MIND.
* TheQuietOne: Jasper never says anything, though he's just as antagonistic toward Edward as Emmett is.
* RightThroughTheWall: Rosalie is loud just to fuck with Edward's ship-in-a-bottle.
* SensitiveGuyAndManlyMan: Edward and Emmett, obviously.
* SeriousBusiness: Everything is this with Edward. Scrapbooking. Cleaning. Knitting. Everything.
* SexySantaDress: Emmett tries to get Rosalie to wear one.
* ShotgunWedding: "YES, IF JACOB KNOCKED RENESSME UP I WOULD MAKE THEM MARRY POSTHASTE. IT WOULD ONLY BE PROPER."
* SophisticatedAsHell: Given Edward tends to speak primarily in archaic patterns, some of the more casual words stand out a little.
* TheStraightMan: Jasper is this to Emmett.
* StalkerWithACrush: Edward, though that is canon.
* TeamPet: Emmett refers to Jacob as a dog or pet.
* YouNeedToGetLaid: Edward ''really'' needs to get laid. (Though judging by the parts set after ''Breaking Dawn'', it didn't help much.)

to:

->''"EMMETT CAN YOU KEEP IT DOWN I AM READING PROUST!!!!"''

Once upon a time, the obsession known as ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' was and is still a great source of parody around the Internet. Mid-2008, two LJ-ers by the names of saint_renegade and oxymoronassoc went on a RP-ing session that greatly exaggerated the characters of ''Twilight'', especially Edward and Emmett Cullen.

In short, ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' was TurnedUpToEleven.

Icons and approval abounded, and in total five RP-ing sessions were posted, one official batch of icons, and [[FountainOfMemes many, many, many quotes.]]

Can be read [[http://oxymoronassoc.livejournal.com/462027.html here]].
----
!!Tropes:
* ActorAllusion: "NO I DO NOT THINK IT BIG HEADED TO THINK THAT I AM AS HANDSOME AS [[Film/HarryPotter CEDRIC]]. IT IS JUST A FACT OF LIFE"
* AllMenArePerverts[=/=]AllWomenArePrudes: Edward assumes that the kinkier aspects of Emmett and Rosalie's relationship are all Emmett's idea, since Rosalie is "TOO PURE FOR SUCH THINGS."
* AwesomeMccoolname: "WE ARE NAMING OUR KID EMMETTALIE IF WE EVER GET ONE...BOY OR GIRL, THAT'S IT'S NAME. IT'LL KICK THIS KID'S ASS. THE MIDDLE NAME IS GOING TO BE BASEBALL, THOUGH."
* TheAtoner: Edward becomes this whenever he breaks stuff.
* AutoErotica: Edward is horrified to learn that Emmett and Rosalie have had sex in his car.
* TheBeard: Rosalie becomes convinced Bella and Edward are this to each other.
* [[CantHoldHisLiquor Can't Hold Her Liquor]]: Bella apparently. This is likely just Edward overreacting once again.
* {{Canon}}: In ''Midnight Sun'' it turns out the Cullen's really do have family meetings. And Edward says himself in ''Breaking Dawn'' that he had a lot of time to pick up hobbies, since he wasn't involved with anyone.
* CharacterExaggeration: Half - no, ''all'' - of the fun.
** AlternateCharacterInterpretation
* ChivalrousPervert: Emmett when he thinks Edward is raping Bella. "THERE ARE RULES."
* ComedicSociopathy: Edward's tendencies toward stalking...and emotional abuse...and being pissy...
* CreepyChild: Renesmee. Emmett especially is creeped out by her power and the WifeHusbandry.
--> ''DUDE YOUR KID IS LIKE 8 MONTHS OLD AND MAKING GOO-GOO EYES AT THE DOG. I DON'T LIKE IT.''
* DigitalPiracyIsEvil: "THESE PEOPLE HAVE TO FEED THEIR FAMILES YOU KNOW"
* DirtyMindReading: "YOUR MIND CONFUSES ME EMMETT, PLEASE GO BACK TO THINKING ABOUT FOOTBALL...NO! NO EMMETT I SAID FOOTBALL, MY GOODNESS. NO I DO NOT WONDER WHAT [BELLA] LOOKS LIKE NAKED"
* EmoTeen: Edward, to a ludicrous extent.
* EverythingIsBetterWithMonkeys: Subverted when Edward flees to South America to deal with the break-up."VERMIN! LEAVE ME!"
* FamilyUnfriendlyViolence: How Edward sees Emmett's video-game habits.
--> ''"MUST YOU PISTOL WHIP EVERYONE, EMMETT?"''
* FreudianExcuse: "THESE YOUNG WOMEN HAVE OBVIOUSLY HAD A HARD LIFE SO THEY HAD TO SELL THEIR BODIES ON THE STREETS."
* HomemadeSweaterFromHell: Edward knits to get out his aggression.
* IAmAMonster: Word for word when Edward breaks Emmett's stereo and LET HIS CONTROL SLIP. And again when he uses the word "[[PrecisionFStrike dick]]."
* IkeaErotica: "IT SEEMS PRETTY SIMPLE TO ME, EDWARD" "INSERT TAB A INTO SLOT B"
* IntercourseWithYou: "NO EMMETT I DO NOT THINK THAT SONG IS ABOUT COPULATION."
* TheInternetIsForPorn: This too offends Edward.
* IvyLeagueForEveryOne: At least according to Edward.
* JerkJock: Emmett.
* AManIsNotAVirgin: Averted with Edward.
* MurderSimulators: When Emmett changes the music in the Volvo of Justice from Music/{{Nickelback}} to [[Music/FiftyCent 50 Cent]], Edward uses this argument.
* MyGirlIsNotASlut: "NO I DO NOT THINK SHE HAS HAD CARNAL RELATIONS WITH MIKE."
* NeatFreak: Did you know Edward will scrub the grout on the bathroom with a toothbrush?
-->''"THIS IS GROSS, HOW DO YOU WE LIVE LIKE THIS?"''
* NoIndoorVoice: All of Edward's lines ARE IN CAPITALS. Emmett's too.
** Most of the time. Sometimes the lines will revert to normal writing, which just makes it funnier when they go back to screaming at each other.
* NoPeriodsPeriod: Averted. Alice advises Bella on what to do for Edward's sake. And, y'know, ''[[StalkerWithACrush Edward tracks Bella's periods]]''.
* NotSoDifferent: Emmett can rant and throw tantrums just as well as Edward when his buttons are pushed. Especially if sports are involved.
* PrettyFlyForAWhiteGuy: Emmett.
* PunctuatedForEmphasis: JASPER I KNOW YOU ARE LAUGHING. I CAN READ. YOUR. MIND.
* TheQuietOne: Jasper never says anything, though he's just as antagonistic toward Edward as Emmett is.
* RightThroughTheWall: Rosalie is loud just to fuck with Edward's ship-in-a-bottle.
* SensitiveGuyAndManlyMan: Edward and Emmett, obviously.
* SeriousBusiness: Everything is this with Edward. Scrapbooking. Cleaning. Knitting. Everything.
* SexySantaDress: Emmett tries to get Rosalie to wear one.
* ShotgunWedding: "YES, IF JACOB KNOCKED RENESSME UP I WOULD MAKE THEM MARRY POSTHASTE. IT WOULD ONLY BE PROPER."
* SophisticatedAsHell: Given Edward tends to speak primarily in archaic patterns, some of the more casual words stand out a little.
* TheStraightMan: Jasper is this to Emmett.
* StalkerWithACrush: Edward, though that is canon.
* TeamPet: Emmett refers to Jacob as a dog or pet.
* YouNeedToGetLaid: Edward ''really'' needs to get laid. (Though judging by the parts set after ''Breaking Dawn'', it didn't help much.)
[[redirect:Roleplay/GrowingUpCullen]]
6th Feb '14 8:08:07 AM Silvermoon424
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* YouNeedToGetLaid: Edward ''really'' needs to get laid. (Though judging by the parts set after ''Breaking Dawn'', it didn't help much.)
* {{Wangst}}: Edward embodies this trope. He often sulks and blasts emo music whenever Emmett does something to upset him (which is daily). He's prone to outbursts where he rants about how nobody respects his things or his feelings and how nobody understand him.

to:

* YouNeedToGetLaid: Edward ''really'' needs to get laid. (Though judging by the parts set after ''Breaking Dawn'', it didn't help much.)
* {{Wangst}}: Edward embodies this trope. He often sulks and blasts emo music whenever Emmett does something to upset him (which is daily). He's prone to outbursts where he rants about how nobody respects his things or his feelings and how nobody understand him.
)
6th Feb '14 8:07:29 AM Silvermoon424
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* YouNeedToGetLaid: Edward ''really'' needs to get laid. (Though judging by the parts set after ''Breaking Dawn'', it didn't help much.)

to:

* YouNeedToGetLaid: Edward ''really'' needs to get laid. (Though judging by the parts set after ''Breaking Dawn'', it didn't help much.))
* {{Wangst}}: Edward embodies this trope. He often sulks and blasts emo music whenever Emmett does something to upset him (which is daily). He's prone to outbursts where he rants about how nobody respects his things or his feelings and how nobody understand him.
23rd Aug '13 7:43:00 PM Argon2
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Icons and approval abounded, and in total five RP-ing sessions were posted, one official batch of icons, and many, many, many quotes.

to:

Icons and approval abounded, and in total five RP-ing sessions were posted, one official batch of icons, and [[FountainOfMemes many, many, many quotes.
quotes.]]
22nd May '13 5:46:55 AM OrKuunArQenByundis
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Added DiffLines:

* NotSoDifferent: Emmett can rant and throw tantrums just as well as Edward when his buttons are pushed. Especially if sports are involved.
21st May '13 5:27:31 AM OrKuunArQenByundis
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Added DiffLines:

* PunctuatedForEmphasis: JASPER I KNOW YOU ARE LAUGHING. I CAN READ. YOUR. MIND.
25th Apr '13 10:53:00 AM MuchAdoAboutNonny
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** "DUDE YOUR KID IS LIKE 8 MONTHS OLD AND MAKING GOO-GOO EYES AT THE DOG. I DON'T LIKE IT."

to:

** "DUDE --> ''DUDE YOUR KID IS LIKE 8 MONTHS OLD AND MAKING GOO-GOO EYES AT THE DOG. I DON'T LIKE IT."''
25th Apr '13 10:52:29 AM MuchAdoAboutNonny
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Added DiffLines:

** "DUDE YOUR KID IS LIKE 8 MONTHS OLD AND MAKING GOO-GOO EYES AT THE DOG. I DON'T LIKE IT."
25th Apr '13 10:49:19 AM MuchAdoAboutNonny
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* ChivalrousPervert: Emmett when he thinks Edward is raping Bella. "THERE ARE RULES."



* EvenEvilHasStandards: Emmett isn't exactly evil, but his reaction when he thinks Edward is raping Bella. In his words, "THERE ARE RULES."


Added DiffLines:

** Most of the time. Sometimes the lines will revert to normal writing, which just makes it funnier when they go back to screaming at each other.
25th Apr '13 10:46:55 AM MuchAdoAboutNonny
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Added DiffLines:

* AwesomeMccoolname: "WE ARE NAMING OUR KID EMMETTALIE IF WE EVER GET ONE...BOY OR GIRL, THAT'S IT'S NAME. IT'LL KICK THIS KID'S ASS. THE MIDDLE NAME IS GOING TO BE BASEBALL, THOUGH."
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Main.GrowingUpCullen