History Main / CleolindaJones

9th Jul '14 5:08:55 AM SeptimusHeap
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[[http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/ Cleolinda Jones]] is the author of [[http://community.livejournal.com/m15m/tag/parodies Movies in 15 Minutes]], which began as a series of Internet parodies and eventually led to [[http://www.amazon.com/MOVIES-FIFTEEN-MINUTES-BIGGEST-BOTHERED/dp/0575076879/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1220888289&sr=8-1 a book]]. The parodies frequently engage in LampshadeHanging or subverting common tropes. She is also known for her hilarious [[http://cleoland.pbwiki.com/Twilight#Bookdiscussionentries recaps]] of the ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' books and the popular MegaCrossover series, [[http://cleoland.pbwiki.com/The+Secret+Life+of+Dolls The Secret Life of Dolls]] (Which has a series page that can be found [[TheSecretLifeOfDolls here]].).
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!!Tropes pointed out or parodied in ''Movies in 15 Minutes'' or other writings in her LiveJournal:

* ActorAllusion: [[Film/SweeneyToddTheDemonBarberOfFleetStreet Snape to Peter Pettigrew, with Bellatrix present]]: "Begone, Wormtail! Go fetch us a meat pie or something."
* AllGirlsWantBadBoys: Discussed in one of her ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' recaps, and quoted on the trope's quote page.
* AutobotsRockOut: [[Film/ThreeHundred 300's]] "Guitars Of War".
* EmoTeen:The Phantom is portrayed as this, with a bit of {{Jerkass}} thrown in for good measure.
* FoxChickenGrainPuzzle: One of her ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' descriptions references it:
-->Yeah, it's like, Bella wants to be a vampire but she doesn't want to be a vampire before she's had sex as a human, and Edward doesn't want her to be a vampire but he wants to get married, but Bella doesn't want to get married unless she can be a vampire, but Edward won't have sex with her until they get married, and then you put the fox and the grain in the boat and you leave the goose back on the riverbank.
* AGoodNameForARockBand: From her commentary on Literature/MidnightSun (Literature/{{Twilight}}):
-->"HER 'OUTRAGEOUS FLAVOR' IS MAKING HIM LOSE CONTROL!... Whoever it is, Outrageous Flavor is totally opening their next concert."
-->"'It was odd how endearing her anger was. Like a furious kitten, soft and harmless, and so unaware of her own vulnerability.' I'm going to pass over the obligatory Those Wimmins Sure Are Cute When They're Mad criticism and simply note that Furious Kitten is going on tour next summer with Outrageous Flavor."
* GuiltyPleasure: Cleo describes the ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' series as this, with a metaphor:
-->''A lot of people are really passionate about these books. Some of them love and defend them passionately; others... well. I'm not going to defend them any more than I'm going to defend Twinkies--you go and get yourself a Twinkie when you have a very specific kind of craving [[strike:SUGARRRRR!]]. If you want gourmet pastry, or even a homemade cake, you know where to get that. If you're eating a Twinkie, you clearly know what you want and why you're eating it, and you know that it's not good to eat very many of them, but... you know... sometimes you just want one. [[strike:And then when you're done you read it all over again.]] Apparently there are people who think that Twinkies count as fine dining, but... well, live and let live, I guess.''
** Of course, during her summary of ''New Moon'':
--->''Where are my lulz? My sparkly, sparkly lulz? MY TWINKIE HAS GONE BAD. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY COULD DO THAT.''
* HollywoodHomely: Erik's "Sunburn O' Doom" is the subject of much mockery.
* JustBetweenYouAndMe: [[Film/HarryPotter Voldemort]] in ''[[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheGobletOfFire Goblet Of Fire]] in Fifteen Minutes'':
-->'''Voldemort:''' I'm going to kill you, Harry Potter. Just as soon as I finish this monologue. Any day now.
* LittlestCancerPatient (TropeNamer)
* ManlyTears: "Raoul, how come *you* never cry when I kiss you?"
* MoneyDearBoy: Cleo mocks two Oscar nominee actresses for being in Eclipse in the Fifteen Minutes of the movie.
* NamesTheSame: She gets upset that ''Twilight'' is the first time she's seen a fictional character with her name (Lauren)...and that character is a raging bitch. "[[SarcasmMode Thanks a lot, SMeyer!]]"
* NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer: Frequent in her Twilight recaps. As she says [[http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/630150.html in the beginning of her Breaking Dawn recap,]] "Hand to God, I did not make one word of that up. [[MemeticMutation Twilight means never having to say you're kidding.]]"
** And again with ''TheHappening'', in response to the line "it may be an act of God which we may never fully understand".
* OneOfUs: Cleo is thrilled to be a TropeNamer.
** Not to mention, ''TheHappening in Fifteen Minutes'' has a PotHole that leads to the {{Anvilicious}} page.
* OneWomanWail: She refers to it as "Our Lady of Soundtrack Sorrow".
* OverlyNarrowSuperlative: She describes the ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' series as "the best series starting with a teenage girl in love with a mysterious boy in her class that ended up with a teenage girl defending her growth-accelerated mutant hybrid baby from an ancient clan of evil vampires with her magical psychic shield that I ever read."
* {{Retirony}}: King Arthur [[LampshadeHanging lampshades it]] in ''King Arthur in Fifteen Minutes'' ("Awww, dude! Look what you went and did! Now you're totally going to have to die, so we can dispose of your body in that precise manner. It's like, a rule.") and given a CallBack-slash-ActorAllusion in ''ClashOfTheTitans in Fifteen Minutes'' ("But it is not my time to meet her yet. Unless it is, in which case I intend to go down smiling like a badass." "Well now that you've SAID THAT, it is! Didn't you learn anything from Lancelot?")
* RousingSpeech
* RunningGag: Most of her Movies in 15 Minutes will have a running joke throughout the entry. Example of a series-wide one that can be found in her Harry Potter series: [[CompressedAdaptation (This scene has been cut for time.)]]
* ScheduleSlip: Her recap of ''Breaking Dawn Part 2'' is about a year behind schedule at this point. (It's going to be the GrandFinale of her MagnumOpus, so one can hardly blame her for taking her time, but the date speaks for itself.) More concretely, there have been ''no'' [=M15M=] updates since July 2012.
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: "[[TheSilenceOfTheLambs Lecter is giving his final Please Hire Me, I'm Totally Not a Fugitive Cannibal presentation.]]"
* ThisIsForEmphasisBitch: [[CrowningMomentOfFunny "QED, BITCHES."]]
* YourOtherLeft: in ''Film/TheMatrix''. ("Go forward! No, your ''other'' forward!!")

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to:

[[http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/ Cleolinda Jones]] is the author of [[http://community.livejournal.com/m15m/tag/parodies Movies in 15 Minutes]], which began as a series of Internet parodies and eventually led to [[http://www.amazon.com/MOVIES-FIFTEEN-MINUTES-BIGGEST-BOTHERED/dp/0575076879/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1220888289&sr=8-1 a book]]. The parodies frequently engage in LampshadeHanging or subverting common tropes. She is also known for her hilarious [[http://cleoland.pbwiki.com/Twilight#Bookdiscussionentries recaps]] of the ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' books and the popular MegaCrossover series, [[http://cleoland.pbwiki.com/The+Secret+Life+of+Dolls The Secret Life of Dolls]] (Which has a series page that can be found [[TheSecretLifeOfDolls here]].).
----
!!Tropes pointed out or parodied in ''Movies in 15 Minutes'' or other writings in her LiveJournal:

* ActorAllusion: [[Film/SweeneyToddTheDemonBarberOfFleetStreet Snape to Peter Pettigrew, with Bellatrix present]]: "Begone, Wormtail! Go fetch us a meat pie or something."
* AllGirlsWantBadBoys: Discussed in one of her ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' recaps, and quoted on the trope's quote page.
* AutobotsRockOut: [[Film/ThreeHundred 300's]] "Guitars Of War".
* EmoTeen:The Phantom is portrayed as this, with a bit of {{Jerkass}} thrown in for good measure.
* FoxChickenGrainPuzzle: One of her ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' descriptions references it:
-->Yeah, it's like, Bella wants to be a vampire but she doesn't want to be a vampire before she's had sex as a human, and Edward doesn't want her to be a vampire but he wants to get married, but Bella doesn't want to get married unless she can be a vampire, but Edward won't have sex with her until they get married, and then you put the fox and the grain in the boat and you leave the goose back on the riverbank.
* AGoodNameForARockBand: From her commentary on Literature/MidnightSun (Literature/{{Twilight}}):
-->"HER 'OUTRAGEOUS FLAVOR' IS MAKING HIM LOSE CONTROL!... Whoever it is, Outrageous Flavor is totally opening their next concert."
-->"'It was odd how endearing her anger was. Like a furious kitten, soft and harmless, and so unaware of her own vulnerability.' I'm going to pass over the obligatory Those Wimmins Sure Are Cute When They're Mad criticism and simply note that Furious Kitten is going on tour next summer with Outrageous Flavor."
* GuiltyPleasure: Cleo describes the ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' series as this, with a metaphor:
-->''A lot of people are really passionate about these books. Some of them love and defend them passionately; others... well. I'm not going to defend them any more than I'm going to defend Twinkies--you go and get yourself a Twinkie when you have a very specific kind of craving [[strike:SUGARRRRR!]]. If you want gourmet pastry, or even a homemade cake, you know where to get that. If you're eating a Twinkie, you clearly know what you want and why you're eating it, and you know that it's not good to eat very many of them, but... you know... sometimes you just want one. [[strike:And then when you're done you read it all over again.]] Apparently there are people who think that Twinkies count as fine dining, but... well, live and let live, I guess.''
** Of course, during her summary of ''New Moon'':
--->''Where are my lulz? My sparkly, sparkly lulz? MY TWINKIE HAS GONE BAD. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY COULD DO THAT.''
* HollywoodHomely: Erik's "Sunburn O' Doom" is the subject of much mockery.
* JustBetweenYouAndMe: [[Film/HarryPotter Voldemort]] in ''[[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheGobletOfFire Goblet Of Fire]] in Fifteen Minutes'':
-->'''Voldemort:''' I'm going to kill you, Harry Potter. Just as soon as I finish this monologue. Any day now.
* LittlestCancerPatient (TropeNamer)
* ManlyTears: "Raoul, how come *you* never cry when I kiss you?"
* MoneyDearBoy: Cleo mocks two Oscar nominee actresses for being in Eclipse in the Fifteen Minutes of the movie.
* NamesTheSame: She gets upset that ''Twilight'' is the first time she's seen a fictional character with her name (Lauren)...and that character is a raging bitch. "[[SarcasmMode Thanks a lot, SMeyer!]]"
* NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer: Frequent in her Twilight recaps. As she says [[http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/630150.html in the beginning of her Breaking Dawn recap,]] "Hand to God, I did not make one word of that up. [[MemeticMutation Twilight means never having to say you're kidding.]]"
** And again with ''TheHappening'', in response to the line "it may be an act of God which we may never fully understand".
* OneOfUs: Cleo is thrilled to be a TropeNamer.
** Not to mention, ''TheHappening in Fifteen Minutes'' has a PotHole that leads to the {{Anvilicious}} page.
* OneWomanWail: She refers to it as "Our Lady of Soundtrack Sorrow".
* OverlyNarrowSuperlative: She describes the ''Literature/{{Twilight}}'' series as "the best series starting with a teenage girl in love with a mysterious boy in her class that ended up with a teenage girl defending her growth-accelerated mutant hybrid baby from an ancient clan of evil vampires with her magical psychic shield that I ever read."
* {{Retirony}}: King Arthur [[LampshadeHanging lampshades it]] in ''King Arthur in Fifteen Minutes'' ("Awww, dude! Look what you went and did! Now you're totally going to have to die, so we can dispose of your body in that precise manner. It's like, a rule.") and given a CallBack-slash-ActorAllusion in ''ClashOfTheTitans in Fifteen Minutes'' ("But it is not my time to meet her yet. Unless it is, in which case I intend to go down smiling like a badass." "Well now that you've SAID THAT, it is! Didn't you learn anything from Lancelot?")
* RousingSpeech
* RunningGag: Most of her Movies in 15 Minutes will have a running joke throughout the entry. Example of a series-wide one that can be found in her Harry Potter series: [[CompressedAdaptation (This scene has been cut for time.)]]
* ScheduleSlip: Her recap of ''Breaking Dawn Part 2'' is about a year behind schedule at this point. (It's going to be the GrandFinale of her MagnumOpus, so one can hardly blame her for taking her time, but the date speaks for itself.) More concretely, there have been ''no'' [=M15M=] updates since July 2012.
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: "[[TheSilenceOfTheLambs Lecter is giving his final Please Hire Me, I'm Totally Not a Fugitive Cannibal presentation.]]"
* ThisIsForEmphasisBitch: [[CrowningMomentOfFunny "QED, BITCHES."]]
* YourOtherLeft: in ''Film/TheMatrix''. ("Go forward! No, your ''other'' forward!!")

----
[[redirect:Creator/CleolindaJones]]
6th Mar '14 3:41:51 AM SeptimusHeap
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* AGoodNameForARockBand: From her commentary on MidnightSun (Literature/{{Twilight}}):

to:

* AGoodNameForARockBand: From her commentary on MidnightSun Literature/MidnightSun (Literature/{{Twilight}}):
20th Oct '13 11:00:50 PM Scabbard
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* ScheduleSlip: her recap of ''Breaking Dawn Part 2'' is about a year behind schedule at this point. (It's going to be the GrandFinale of her MagnumOpus, so one can hardly blame her for taking her time, but the date speaks for itself.) More concretely, there have been ''no'' [=M15M=] updates since July 2012.

to:

* ScheduleSlip: her Her recap of ''Breaking Dawn Part 2'' is about a year behind schedule at this point. (It's going to be the GrandFinale of her MagnumOpus, so one can hardly blame her for taking her time, but the date speaks for itself.) More concretely, there have been ''no'' [=M15M=] updates since July 2012.
14th Oct '13 7:06:38 PM slvstrChung
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Added DiffLines:

* ScheduleSlip: her recap of ''Breaking Dawn Part 2'' is about a year behind schedule at this point. (It's going to be the GrandFinale of her MagnumOpus, so one can hardly blame her for taking her time, but the date speaks for itself.) More concretely, there have been ''no'' [=M15M=] updates since July 2012.
30th May '13 10:31:07 PM Magestad
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Added DiffLines:

* AutobotsRockOut: [[Film/ThreeHundred 300's]] "Guitars Of War".
19th Apr '13 5:42:04 AM Prfnoff
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* GoodNameForARockBand: Outragous Flavour and Furious Kitten. Both actually come from MidnightSun (Literature/{{Twilight}}).

to:

* GoodNameForARockBand: Outragous Flavour and Furious Kitten. Both actually come from AGoodNameForARockBand: From her commentary on MidnightSun (Literature/{{Twilight}}).(Literature/{{Twilight}}):
-->"HER 'OUTRAGEOUS FLAVOR' IS MAKING HIM LOSE CONTROL!... Whoever it is, Outrageous Flavor is totally opening their next concert."
-->"'It was odd how endearing her anger was. Like a furious kitten, soft and harmless, and so unaware of her own vulnerability.' I'm going to pass over the obligatory Those Wimmins Sure Are Cute When They're Mad criticism and simply note that Furious Kitten is going on tour next summer with Outrageous Flavor."
19th Dec '12 12:56:25 PM nombretomado
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* JustBetweenYouAndMe: [[HarryPotter Voldemort]] in ''[[HarryPotterAndTheGobletOfFire Goblet Of Fire]] in Fifteen Minutes'':

to:

* JustBetweenYouAndMe: [[HarryPotter [[Film/HarryPotter Voldemort]] in ''[[HarryPotterAndTheGobletOfFire ''[[Literature/HarryPotterAndTheGobletOfFire Goblet Of Fire]] in Fifteen Minutes'':
28th Sep '12 8:43:07 PM kvschwartz
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* RunningGag: Most of her Movies in 15 Minutes will have a running joke throughout the entry. Example of a series-wide one that can be found in her Harry Potter series: [[CompressedAdaptation (This scene has been cut for time)]]
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: "[[TheSilenceOfTheLambs Lecter is giving his final Please Hire Me, I'm Totally Not a Fugitive Cannibal presentation]]"

to:

* RunningGag: Most of her Movies in 15 Minutes will have a running joke throughout the entry. Example of a series-wide one that can be found in her Harry Potter series: [[CompressedAdaptation (This scene has been cut for time)]]
time.)]]
* SuspiciouslySpecificDenial: "[[TheSilenceOfTheLambs Lecter is giving his final Please Hire Me, I'm Totally Not a Fugitive Cannibal presentation]]"presentation.]]"
20th Sep '12 11:34:33 AM SayaAensland
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-->''Where are my lulz? My sparkly, sparkly lulz? MY TWINKIE HAS GONE BAD. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY COULD DO THAT.''

to:

-->''Where --->''Where are my lulz? My sparkly, sparkly lulz? MY TWINKIE HAS GONE BAD. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY COULD DO THAT.''



* MoneyDearBoy: Cleo mocks two Oscar nomniee actresses for being in Eclipse in the Fifteen minutes of the movie.

to:

* MoneyDearBoy: Cleo mocks two Oscar nomniee nominee actresses for being in Eclipse in the Fifteen minutes Minutes of the movie.
1st Aug '12 5:07:10 AM FELH2
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* HollywoodHomely: Erik's "Sunburn O' Doom" is the subject of much mockery.

to:

* HollywoodHomely: Erik's "Sunburn O' Doom" is the subject of much mockery.



* LittlestCancerPatient ({{Trope Namer}})

to:

* LittlestCancerPatient ({{Trope Namer}})(TropeNamer)



* NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer: Frequent in her Twilight recaps. As she says [[http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/630150.html in the beginning of her Breaking Dawn recap,]] "Hand to God, I did not make one word of that up. [[MemeticMutation Twilight means never having to say you're kidding.]]"

to:

* NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer: Frequent in her Twilight recaps. As she says [[http://cleolinda.livejournal.com/630150.html in the beginning of her Breaking Dawn recap,]] "Hand to God, I did not make one word of that up. [[MemeticMutation Twilight means never having to say you're kidding.]]" ]]"



* YourOtherLeft: in ''TheMatrix''. ("Go forward! No, your ''other'' forward!!")

to:

* YourOtherLeft: in ''TheMatrix''.''Film/TheMatrix''. ("Go forward! No, your ''other'' forward!!")
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