History Main / AsbestosFreeCereal

10th Sep '17 7:42:24 AM KingLyger
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* Wegman's Cola, the generic version of Coke sold at the (rather upscale) Wegman's supermarket chain in the US Mid-Atlantic region and Northeast, is marketed on the label as "Gluten free", "Lactose free", and "Vegan". So it has no wheat, milk, or other animal product. [[note]]We're not sure if Jones Turkey Soda did in fact contain animal products in its "natural and artificial flavors." A true exception is Calpis, also known as Calpico in English-speaking regions, which is fermented, sweetened, and carbonated milk. However, it looks just like milk, so a lactose intolerant person would be careful around Calpis anyway.[[/note]]
* Similarly, there's at least one type of white cooking wine that advertises itself as "Gluten free" but FridgeLogic kicks in when you realize that wine is made out of grapes, so there is never gluten in it. Even rice wine, which is made of "glutinous rice" is gluten free, due to an odd language quirk. [[labelnote:explanation]]"glutinous" just means "sticky" and is related to the word "glue", and that happens to ''also'' be the root of the word "gluten", otherwise the two are unrelated.[[/labelnote]]
* This also goes for non-flavored liquors such that label themselves "gluten-free." Gluten is a protein that is present in most grains that liquors such as whiskey, gin and some vodkas are made from, but gluten doesn't make it through the distillation process. Rum, tequila and brandy are never distilled from any grains by definition, so a gluten-free label on any of those is pretty much a secret gullibility test for the consumer. [[labelnote:Why non-flavored?]]Many flavoring agents are made from malted ingredients, so people with an actual gluten intolerance should proceed with caution.[[/labelnote]]
* Another joiner on this particular bandwagon is Santa Cruz Organic Peanut Butter, which is 100% made from peanuts and has the label highlighting that it is "gluten free". Even brands of peanut butter that aren't 100% peanuts generally don't use gluten-containing products. While there is certainly an opportunistic advertising element to all of these examples, it's also a bit Truth In Television. To legally declare a product "gluten free" you have to do gluten testing, maintain separate production facilities, etc. Gluten contamination can occur before the product even exists -- for instance, oats growing in a field where wheat was once planted.
* A brand of cornflakes has started advertising itself as "same taste, gluten-free!" Except there's no measurable amount of gluten in ''corn'' (''Zea mais'') flakes. So if the new, improved, possibly-certified cereal tasted different, that would be a reason to worry.
* Possibly averted by a brand of circular oat cereal which applied the "gluten free" label to its boxes. The back of the box acknowledges that the oats from which the cereal is made would not have gluten, but they changed their agreement with processing facilities to ensure no cross contamination from wheat products.
* Spotted in the wild: a restaurant sign extolling passersby to "try our new gluten-free fries!" Potatoes, as you might have guessed at this point, are ''yet another'' item that normally doesn't have any gluten in the first place.

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* In UsefulNotes/TheNewTens, it became quite a common selling point to advertise a product as "gluten-free," thanks to a string of fad diets at the time that suggested reducing or eliminating it. Gluten is a protein found in grains, like wheat, rye, and oats. While there are some gluten-free products made for people sensitive to it, a lot of these products never had any gluten in them to begin with.
**
Wegman's Cola, the generic version of Coke sold at the (rather upscale) Wegman's supermarket chain in the US Mid-Atlantic region and Northeast, is marketed on the label as "Gluten free", "Lactose free", and "Vegan". So it has no wheat, milk, or other animal product. [[note]]We're not sure if Jones Turkey Soda did in fact contain animal products in its "natural and artificial flavors." A true exception is Calpis, also known as Calpico in English-speaking regions, which is fermented, sweetened, and carbonated milk. However, it looks just like milk, so a lactose intolerant person would be careful around Calpis anyway.[[/note]]
* Similarly, there's ** There's at least one type of white cooking wine that advertises itself as "Gluten free" but FridgeLogic kicks in when you realize that wine is made out of grapes, so there is never gluten in it. Even rice wine, which is made of "glutinous rice" is gluten free, due to an odd language quirk. [[labelnote:explanation]]"glutinous" just means "sticky" and is related to the word "glue", and that happens to ''also'' be the root of the word "gluten", otherwise the two are unrelated.[[/labelnote]]
* ** This also goes for non-flavored liquors such that label themselves "gluten-free." Gluten is a protein that is present in most grains that liquors such as whiskey, gin and some vodkas are made from, but gluten doesn't make it through the distillation process. Rum, tequila and brandy are never distilled from any grains by definition, so a gluten-free label on any of those is pretty much a secret gullibility test for the consumer. [[labelnote:Why non-flavored?]]Many flavoring agents are made from malted ingredients, so people with an actual gluten intolerance should proceed with caution.[[/labelnote]]
* ** Another joiner on this particular bandwagon is Santa Cruz Organic Peanut Butter, which is 100% made from peanuts and has the label highlighting that it is "gluten free". Even brands of peanut butter that aren't 100% peanuts generally don't use gluten-containing products. While there is certainly an opportunistic advertising element to all of these examples, it's also a bit Truth In Television. To legally declare a product "gluten free" you have to do gluten testing, maintain separate production facilities, etc. Gluten contamination can occur before the product even exists -- for instance, oats growing in a field where wheat was once planted.
* ** A brand of cornflakes has started advertising itself as "same taste, gluten-free!" Except there's no measurable amount of gluten in ''corn'' (''Zea mais'') flakes. So if the new, improved, possibly-certified cereal tasted different, that would be a reason to worry.
*
worry. This same line of logic extends to popcorn advertised as "gluten-free," which are sometimes made from the same strain of corn as corn flakes used in cereal.
**
Possibly averted by a brand of circular oat cereal which applied the "gluten free" label to its boxes. The back of the box acknowledges that the oats from which the cereal is made would not have gluten, but they changed their agreement with processing facilities to ensure no cross contamination from wheat products.
* ** Spotted in the wild: a restaurant sign extolling passersby to "try our new gluten-free fries!" Potatoes, as you might have guessed at this point, are ''yet another'' item that normally doesn't have any gluten in the first place.
5th Sep '17 5:03:14 AM MathsAngelicVersion
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* Any gambling that gets promoted with slogans like "you'll never win if you don't play", which is is trivially true for ''all'' games. Even worse: in most cases, the chances are that you'll ''still'' lose if you do play.
7th Aug '17 8:35:28 AM KingLyger
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* When Wendy's was going through a major marketing overhaul, aside from "better quality ingredients" (such as red onions instead of white, which is more personal taste than anything), they began to advertise their French fries as "natural cut". This was an odd but enticing phrase, especially since they were now also seasoned with sea salt and cooked (not "fried") in different oil. After poking and prodding, it turns out that "natural cut" simply means "the skins are still on when we cut them". Also, the "sea salt" claim about their fries is technically correct but misleading since ''all'' salt comes from the sea; it's exactly the same salt sitting in a shaker on their tables.

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* When Wendy's was going through a major marketing overhaul, aside from "better quality ingredients" (such as red onions instead of white, which is more personal taste than anything), they began to advertise their French fries as "natural cut". This was an odd but enticing phrase, especially since they were now also seasoned with sea salt and cooked (not "fried") in different oil. After poking and prodding, it turns out that "natural cut" simply means "the skins are still on when we cut them". Also, the "sea salt" claim about their fries being seasoned with sea salt is technically correct but misleading since it's trying to make the salt they use sound more exotic. Actually, ''all'' salt comes from the sea; it's exactly the same salt sitting in a shaker on their tables.
3rd Aug '17 11:29:41 AM KingLyger
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* When Wendy's was going through a major marketing overhaul, aside from "better quality ingredients" (such as red onions instead of white which is more personal taste than anything) they began to advertise their French fries as "natural cut". This was an odd but enticing phrase, especially since they were now also seasoned with sea salt and cooked (not "fried") in different oil. After poking and prodding, it turns out that "natural cut" simply means "the skins are still on when we cut them".

to:

* When Wendy's was going through a major marketing overhaul, aside from "better quality ingredients" (such as red onions instead of white white, which is more personal taste than anything) anything), they began to advertise their French fries as "natural cut". This was an odd but enticing phrase, especially since they were now also seasoned with sea salt and cooked (not "fried") in different oil. After poking and prodding, it turns out that "natural cut" simply means "the skins are still on when we cut them". Also, the "sea salt" claim about their fries is technically correct but misleading since ''all'' salt comes from the sea; it's exactly the same salt sitting in a shaker on their tables.
3rd Aug '17 11:07:19 AM KingLyger
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* [=McDonald's=] emphasizes its "hand-picked Arabica coffee beans" in its [=McCafe=] advertisements. Arabica ''is'' usually considered a better product than Robusta[[note]]Robusta gives thickness and bitterness to the coffee while Arabica gives a richer flavour. Coffee brands usually mix them to attain a thick yet flavourful coffee, with some making a selling point of using 100% Arabica. Also, coffee beans come from different countries and are sometimes mixed, so some people will like e.g. Colombian coffee more than they like Brazilian, regardless of the percentage of Robusta[[/note]], but the fact is that almost all coffee beans are hand-picked, due to the temperamental nature of the coffee plant making mechanization very difficult. And most coffee beans are Arabica, anyway.

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* [=McDonald's=] UsefulNotes/McDonalds emphasizes its "hand-picked Arabica coffee beans" in its [=McCafe=] advertisements. Arabica ''is'' usually considered a better product than Robusta[[note]]Robusta gives thickness and bitterness to the coffee while Arabica gives a richer flavour. Coffee brands usually mix them to attain a thick yet flavourful coffee, with some making a selling point of using 100% Arabica. Also, coffee beans come from different countries and are sometimes mixed, so some people will like e.g. Colombian coffee more than they like Brazilian, regardless of the percentage of Robusta[[/note]], but the fact is that almost all coffee beans are hand-picked, due to the temperamental nature of the coffee plant making mechanization very difficult. And most coffee beans are Arabica, anyway.



* The anti-GMO movement is so popular now that some manufacturers put non-GM labels on things like salt, [http://www.maxblogs.ru/images/571.jpg water]], and [[http://www.maxblogs.ru/images/573.jpg baking soda]]. Since DNA is only found in living organisms, it's impossible to genetically modify salt, water or baking soda because they don't have any genes to modify in the first place.

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* The anti-GMO movement is so popular now that some manufacturers put non-GM labels on things like salt, [http://www.[[http://www.maxblogs.ru/images/571.jpg water]], and [[http://www.maxblogs.ru/images/573.jpg baking soda]]. Since DNA is only found in living organisms, it's impossible to genetically modify salt, water or baking soda because they don't have any genes to modify in the first place.



* ''AudioPlay/MontyPythonsContractualObligationAlbum'' has the String sketch, where an advertiser is looking for a way to sell 122,000 miles of string... in 3-inch lengths. Among others, he describes them as pre-sliced, rust-proof, easy to handle, low-calorie, and free from artificial colorings. When he learns they're not waterproof, he switches to water-absorbent.

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* ''AudioPlay/MontyPythonsContractualObligationAlbum'' has the String sketch, where an advertiser is looking for a way to sell 122,000 miles of string... in 3-inch lengths. Among others, he the advertiser describes them as pre-sliced, rust-proof, easy to handle, low-calorie, and free from artificial colorings.coloring. When he learns they're not waterproof, he switches to water-absorbent.
2nd Aug '17 8:16:01 AM KingLyger
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* Wegman's Cola, the generic version of Coke sold at the (rather upscale) Wegman's supermarket chain in the US Mid-Atlantic region and Northeast, is marketed on the label as "Gluten free", "Lactose free", and "Vegan". So it has no wheat, milk, or other animal product.[[note]]We're not sure if Jones Turkey Soda did in fact contain animal products in its "natural and artificial flavors." A true exception is Calpis, also known as Calpico in English-speaking regions, which is fermented, sweetened, and carbonated milk. However, it looks just like milk, so a lactose intolerant person would be careful around Calpis anyway.[[/note]]

to:

* Wegman's Cola, the generic version of Coke sold at the (rather upscale) Wegman's supermarket chain in the US Mid-Atlantic region and Northeast, is marketed on the label as "Gluten free", "Lactose free", and "Vegan". So it has no wheat, milk, or other animal product. [[note]]We're not sure if Jones Turkey Soda did in fact contain animal products in its "natural and artificial flavors." A true exception is Calpis, also known as Calpico in English-speaking regions, which is fermented, sweetened, and carbonated milk. However, it looks just like milk, so a lactose intolerant person would be careful around Calpis anyway.[[/note]]



* The anti-GMO movement is so popular now that some manufacturers put non-GM labels even on salt. It is impossible to genetically modify salt because it doesn't have any genes since it is not an organism. Also ridiculous: [[http://www.maxblogs.ru/images/571.jpg Water]]. [[http://www.maxblogs.ru/images/573.jpg Baking soda]].
* There was a bit of a scandal in the Netherlands some years ago when chupa chup lollies came on the market and made a big point about 'being healthy' (on account of the fruit-juice in it). Of course they aren't: they are full of sugar and the fruit is way too processed to have any nutritional value. They were laughed off the market.

to:

* The anti-GMO movement is so popular now that some manufacturers put non-GM labels even on salt. It is impossible to genetically modify salt because it doesn't have any genes since it is not an organism. Also ridiculous: [[http://www.things like salt, [http://www.maxblogs.ru/images/571.jpg Water]]. water]], and [[http://www.maxblogs.ru/images/573.jpg Baking soda]].
baking soda]]. Since DNA is only found in living organisms, it's impossible to genetically modify salt, water or baking soda because they don't have any genes to modify in the first place.
* There was a bit of a scandal in the Netherlands some years ago when chupa chup lollies came on the market and made a big point about 'being healthy' (on account of the fruit-juice in it). Of course they aren't: they are aren't healthy: they're full of sugar sugar, and the fruit is way too processed to have any nutritional value. They were laughed off the market.



* The label on bottles of the mineral water brand [=Hydr8=] boast that it's completely free of sugar, calories and colouring. Of course, this is true of water in general. You might as well brag that "The novels from Random House all include words that you can read to get a story!" The only difference is, it's possible to make an unreadable book. If you've managed to make water that contains one of those ingredients without additives, it's not water anymore.

to:

* The label on bottles of the mineral water brand [=Hydr8=] boast that it's completely free of sugar, calories and colouring. Of course, this is true of water in general. You might as well brag that "The novels "This novel from Random House all include words that you can read to get a story!" The only difference is, it's possible to make an unreadable book. If you've managed to make water that contains one of those ingredients without additives, it's not water anymore.



* Advertising meat as growth hormone free. Likely meant to appease the anti-GMO group above, since the use of growth hormones and anabolic steroids in cattle and poultry-rearing have been banned since the [=1950s=], at least in the U.S., though it's still a possibility when dealing with imports and outsourcing.

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* Advertising meat as growth hormone growth-hormone free. Likely meant to appease the anti-GMO group above, since the use of growth hormones and anabolic steroids in cattle and poultry-rearing have been banned since the [=1950s=], at least in the U.S., though it's still a possibility when dealing with imports and outsourcing.



* Many {{Role Playing Game}}s (especially in the 16-bit era) had advertisements or box blurbs boasting "Over XX hours of gameplay!" Depending on the game, [[FakeLongevity a good number of these "XX hours"]] would unfortunately be devoted to LevelGrinding. ''VideoGame/TalesOfSymphonia'' did one better: They advertised "over 80 hours of gameplay". Actual time to the completion of the storyline, with obnoxious LevelGrinding and dubious {{Side Quest}}s: around 40 hours. But they've got a NewGamePlus feature, so that's forty hours, ''twice'', which is ''totally'' the same thing as eighty hours!

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* Many {{Role Playing Game}}s (especially in the 16-bit era) had advertisements or box blurbs boasting "Over XX hours of gameplay!" Depending on the game, [[FakeLongevity a good number of these "XX hours"]] would unfortunately be devoted to LevelGrinding. LevelGrinding or walking from place to place.
**
''VideoGame/TalesOfSymphonia'' did one better: They advertised "over 80 hours of gameplay". Actual time to the completion of the storyline, with obnoxious LevelGrinding and dubious {{Side Quest}}s: around 40 hours. But they've got a NewGamePlus feature, so that's forty hours, ''twice'', which is ''totally'' the same thing as eighty hours!



* Battery companies advertising that their alkaline batteries last 2 to 4 times longer than [[BrandX other brands]] of battery. It's true. But they always fail to point out the type of battery they are comparing to is cheaper zinc–carbon batteries rather than similarly priced alkaline ones. If compared against similar alkaline batteries, there would be next to no difference in length of use. Duracell is a major offender with this, most notably with the original "Duracell Bunny" commercial from the 1970s.
** Eveready[[note]]at the time, the creator of the Energizer brand; these days Energizer is the parent company, and Eveready their subsidiary[[/note]] created the Energizer Bunny campaign as a direct shot against Duracell. Duracell did successfully sue Eveready, though, over their "Nothing Lasts Longer" claim in the Energizer ads[[note]]Which were actually true -- nothing lasts longer, although all of their alkaline competitors last ''just as'' long[[/note]]. Subsequently, the fictional competitor "Supervolt" was created as a BrandX parody of Duracell, still implying that Energizer can outlast their alkaline rivals.

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* Battery companies advertising that their alkaline batteries last 2 two to 4 four times longer than [[BrandX other brands]] of battery. It's true.battery. But they always fail to point out the type of battery they are comparing to is cheaper zinc–carbon batteries rather than similarly priced alkaline ones. If compared against similar alkaline batteries, there would be next to no difference in length of use. Duracell is a major offender with this, most notably with the original "Duracell Bunny" commercial from the 1970s.
** Eveready[[note]]at the time, the creator of the Energizer brand; these days Energizer is the parent company, and Eveready their subsidiary[[/note]] created the Energizer Bunny campaign as a direct shot against Duracell. Duracell did successfully sue Eveready, though, over their "Nothing Lasts Longer" claim in the Energizer ads[[note]]Which were actually true -- nothing lasts longer, although [[BestIsAverageBetterIsBest all of their alkaline competitors last ''just as'' long[[/note]].just as long]][[/note]]. Subsequently, the fictional competitor "Supervolt" was created as a BrandX parody of Duracell, still implying that Energizer can outlast their alkaline rivals.
1st Aug '17 1:01:54 PM KingLyger
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* The label on bottles of the mineral water brand [=Hydr8=] boast that it's completely free of sugar, calories and colouring. Of course, this is true of water in general. You might as well brag that "The novels from Random House all include words that you can read to get a story!" or that "With a Subaru, not only can you listen to the built-in radio, but you can also drive the car to travel to another place!" The only difference is, it's possible to make an unreadable book or a broken car. If you've managed to make water that contains one of those without additives, you've broken the laws of reality.

to:

* The label on bottles of the mineral water brand [=Hydr8=] boast that it's completely free of sugar, calories and colouring. Of course, this is true of water in general. You might as well brag that "The novels from Random House all include words that you can read to get a story!" or that "With a Subaru, not only can you listen to the built-in radio, but you can also drive the car to travel to another place!" The only difference is, it's possible to make an unreadable book or a broken car. book. If you've managed to make water that contains one of those ingredients without additives, you've broken the laws of reality.it's not water anymore.
24th Jul '17 1:34:03 PM ZuTheSkunk
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Sister tropes are LiteCreme, AllNaturalSnakeOil, and the somewhat more malicious NeverNeedsSharpening. A form of FalseReassurance and [[PolishTheTurd Turd Polish]]. Contrast UnfortunateIngredients.

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Sister tropes are LiteCreme, AllNaturalSnakeOil, and the somewhat more malicious NeverNeedsSharpening. A form of FalseReassurance and [[PolishTheTurd Turd Polish]]. Contrast UnfortunateIngredients.
UnfortunateIngredients. Compare SuspiciouslySpecificDenial.
11th Jul '17 2:32:39 PM LucaEarlgrey
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* There's a [[https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1l2i1z/well_good/ photo]] going around of a bunch of seedless watermelons being labeled "Boneless". A reply theorizes the possible reason why they're labeled such: an associate ran out of "Seedless" stickers to use, with the store only having "Boneless" stickers to work with.

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* There's a [[https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1l2i1z/well_good/ photo]] going around of a bunch of seedless watermelons being labeled "Boneless"."Boneless"; obviously, since watermelon is a fruit, it doesn't have bones. A reply theorizes the possible reason why they're labeled such: an associate ran out of "Seedless" stickers to use, with the store only having "Boneless" stickers to work with.
11th Jul '17 2:31:48 PM LucaEarlgrey
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* There's a [[https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1l2i1z/well_good/ photo]] going around of a bunch of seedless watermelons being labeled "Boneless". A reply theorizes the possible reason why they're labeled such: an associate ran out of "Seedless" stickers to use, with the store only having "Boneless" stickers to work with.
--> "Fuck it. Seeds are like bones, right?"
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