History Literature / TheEyeOfArgon

5th Feb '18 3:36:30 PM MasterN
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Published in the fanzine OSFAN 7, in 1970, the story is well known for its [[ClicheStorm abundant cliches]], [[{{Malaproper}} shoddy spelling]], [[FlatCharacter flat characters]], [[YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe wooden dialogue and [[PurpleProse overly colourful writing]]. Every woman is a "wench", eyes are "emerald orbs". [[SaidBookism Almost nothing is ever "said"]] -- instead it is "queried" or [[HaveAGayOldTime "ejaculated"]] or "husked" or "stated [[PerfectlyCromulentWord whimsicoracally]]". There's an extended scene involving elderly priests groping Carthena, and a scene where Grignr has sex with (or possibly just hugs) a "half-naked harlot... with a lithe, opaque nose". One cult member [[DeusExMachina randomly faints by an epileptic fit in battle]], and another suffers a savage, multi-paragraph GroinAttack.

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Published in the fanzine OSFAN 7, in 1970, the story is well known for its [[ClicheStorm abundant cliches]], [[{{Malaproper}} shoddy spelling]], [[FlatCharacter flat characters]], [[YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe wooden dialogue dialogue]] and [[PurpleProse overly colourful writing]]. Every woman is a "wench", eyes are "emerald orbs". [[SaidBookism Almost nothing is ever "said"]] -- instead it is "queried" or [[HaveAGayOldTime "ejaculated"]] or "husked" or "stated [[PerfectlyCromulentWord whimsicoracally]]". There's an extended scene involving elderly priests groping Carthena, and a scene where Grignr has sex with (or possibly just hugs) a "half-naked harlot... with a lithe, opaque nose". One cult member [[DeusExMachina randomly faints by an epileptic fit in battle]], and another suffers a savage, multi-paragraph GroinAttack.
5th Feb '18 3:36:06 PM MasterN
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Published in the fanzine OSFAN 7, in 1970, the story is well known for its [[ClicheStorm abundant cliches]], shoddy spelling, [[FlatCharacter flat characters]], wooden dialogue and [[PurpleProse overly colourful writing]]. Every woman is a "wench", eyes are "emerald orbs". [[SaidBookism Almost nothing is ever "said"]] -- instead it is "queried" or [[HaveAGayOldTime "ejaculated"]] or "husked" or "stated [[PerfectlyCromulentWord whimsicoracally]]". There's an extended scene involving elderly priests groping Carthena, and a scene where Grignr has sex with (or possibly just hugs) a "half-naked harlot... with a lithe, opaque nose". One cult member [[DeusExMachina randomly faints by an epileptic fit in battle]], and another suffers a savage, multi-paragraph GroinAttack.

to:

Published in the fanzine OSFAN 7, in 1970, the story is well known for its [[ClicheStorm abundant cliches]], [[{{Malaproper}} shoddy spelling, spelling]], [[FlatCharacter flat characters]], [[YeOldeButcheredeEnglishe wooden dialogue and [[PurpleProse overly colourful writing]]. Every woman is a "wench", eyes are "emerald orbs". [[SaidBookism Almost nothing is ever "said"]] -- instead it is "queried" or [[HaveAGayOldTime "ejaculated"]] or "husked" or "stated [[PerfectlyCromulentWord whimsicoracally]]". There's an extended scene involving elderly priests groping Carthena, and a scene where Grignr has sex with (or possibly just hugs) a "half-naked harlot... with a lithe, opaque nose". One cult member [[DeusExMachina randomly faints by an epileptic fit in battle]], and another suffers a savage, multi-paragraph GroinAttack.
5th Feb '18 12:28:58 PM MasterN
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Published in the fanzine OSFAN 7, in 1970, the story is well known for its abundant cliches, shoddy spelling, [[FlatCharacter flat characters]], wooden dialogue and [[PurpleProse overly colourful writing]]. Every woman is a "wench", eyes are "emerald orbs". [[SaidBookism Almost nothing is ever "said"]] -- instead it is "queried" or [[HaveAGayOldTime "ejaculated"]] or "husked" or "stated [[PerfectlyCromulentWord whimsicoracally]]". There's an extended scene involving elderly priests groping Carthena, and a scene where Grignr has sex with (or possibly just hugs) a "half-naked harlot... with a lithe, opaque nose". One cult member [[DeusExMachina randomly faints by an epileptic fit in battle]], and another suffers a savage, multi-paragraph GroinAttack.

to:

Published in the fanzine OSFAN 7, in 1970, the story is well known for its [[ClicheStorm abundant cliches, cliches]], shoddy spelling, [[FlatCharacter flat characters]], wooden dialogue and [[PurpleProse overly colourful writing]]. Every woman is a "wench", eyes are "emerald orbs". [[SaidBookism Almost nothing is ever "said"]] -- instead it is "queried" or [[HaveAGayOldTime "ejaculated"]] or "husked" or "stated [[PerfectlyCromulentWord whimsicoracally]]". There's an extended scene involving elderly priests groping Carthena, and a scene where Grignr has sex with (or possibly just hugs) a "half-naked harlot... with a lithe, opaque nose". One cult member [[DeusExMachina randomly faints by an epileptic fit in battle]], and another suffers a savage, multi-paragraph GroinAttack.
2nd Feb '18 8:17:30 AM SteveMB
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** Whenever some loud unpleasant sound is mentioned, it is [[TakeThat attributed to]] Music/AlanisMorissette.

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** Whenever some loud unpleasant sound is mentioned, it is [[TakeThat compared or attributed to]] Music/AlanisMorissette.
2nd Feb '18 8:15:23 AM SteveMB
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Added DiffLines:

** Whenever some loud unpleasant sound is mentioned, it is [[TakeThat attributed to]] Music/AlanisMorissette.
25th Oct '17 2:04:14 PM Vilui
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Described as "the worst fantasy novella ever", ''[[http://ansible.co.uk/misc/eyeargon.html The Eye of Argon]]'' is a story by Jim Theis, who was 16 when he wrote it. It's the tale of Grignr, a foul-mouthed barbarian warrior who is trying to escape the dungeons of EvilOverlord Agaphim and rescue a young woman named Carthena from a pagan cult who want to sacrifice her to their idol -- a statue with one eye called "The Eye of Argon". (A "[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scarlet_emerald#Red_beryl scarlet emerald]]", complete with some interesting plumbing.)

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Described as "the worst fantasy novella ever", ''[[http://ansible.co.uk/misc/eyeargon.html The Eye of Argon]]'' is a story by Jim Theis, who was 16 when he wrote it. It's the tale of Grignr, a foul-mouthed barbarian warrior who is trying to escape the dungeons of EvilOverlord Agaphim and rescue a young woman named Carthena from a pagan cult who want to sacrifice her to their idol -- a statue with one eye called "The Eye of Argon". (A "[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scarlet_emerald#Red_beryl org/wiki/Beryl#Red_beryl scarlet emerald]]", complete with some interesting plumbing.)
16th Oct '17 4:18:34 AM PetroleumJerry
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As reading it raw may cause brain damage, you can settle for [[http://www.bmsc.washington.edu/people/merritt/books/Eye_of_Argon.html the MST'd version]], or this [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikM_Lh8Q0xo Dramatic Reading of Chapter One on You Tube]]. For those who are unable to read it sober, we have the DrinkingGame over [[DrinkingGame/TheEyeOfArgon here]]. An example of the game can be found [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBc1aQeqZTQ here]].

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As reading it raw may cause brain damage, you can settle for [[http://www.bmsc.washington.edu/people/merritt/books/Eye_of_Argon.html the MST'd version]], version]] which naturally calls out many of the tropes listed here, or this [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ikM_Lh8Q0xo Dramatic Reading of Chapter One on You Tube]]. For those who are unable to read it sober, we have the DrinkingGame over [[DrinkingGame/TheEyeOfArgon here]]. An example of the game can be found [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBc1aQeqZTQ here]].
27th Jul '17 5:24:23 PM PaulA
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* {{Neologism}} / PerfectlyCromulentWord: Among others, "protruberating", "nerelady", and "scozstic".

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* {{Neologism}} / PerfectlyCromulentWord: {{Neologism}}: Among others, "protruberating", "nerelady", and "scozstic".
27th Jul '17 7:08:10 AM chelonianmobile
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* {{Neologism}}: Among others, "protruberating", "nerelady", and "scozstic".

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* {{Neologism}}: {{Neologism}} / PerfectlyCromulentWord: Among others, "protruberating", "nerelady", and "scozstic".
30th May '17 7:08:44 PM nombretomado
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** And the first few times Grignr's name is mentioned, Tom remarks on the absurdity of his name ([[WheelOfFortune "I'd like to buy a vowel!"]]). [[OverusedRunningGag Then the others persuade him he's getting tiresome, and he stops]].

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** And the first few times Grignr's name is mentioned, Tom remarks on the absurdity of his name ([[WheelOfFortune ([[Series/WheelOfFortune "I'd like to buy a vowel!"]]). [[OverusedRunningGag Then the others persuade him he's getting tiresome, and he stops]].
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Literature.TheEyeOfArgon