History Literature / TheBible

9th Apr '17 11:28:15 AM nombretomado
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* AdamAndEvePlot: The TropeNamer. God's instructions to the first people are: "Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth".



* AndManGrewProud: Then Man built a tower which would reach Heaven. [[ItWasHisSled Which is why language classes are needed in the present day]].



* TheAntiChrist: TropeNamer. In this case, though, it means a substitute or artificial Christ--a reference to the many, many, many insincere attempts to redefine and recreate Christianity in opposition to the apostles' original teaching. Specifically used to describe the early Gnostics groups who were already forming in the apostles' time.



* AsTheGoodBookSays: Jesus and the Devil tossed references to scripture back and forth in the desert after Jesus's baptism.



* BadassCrew: 2nd Samuel has a ''list'' of Badasses who worked for King David, and were referred to as the "Mighty Men". The entire list is filled with stories of people killing off hundreds of people singlehanded, or fighting wild animals.



* BedTrick: Jacob's wedding. He had worked for Laban for seven years in order to get permission to marry Laban's daughter Rachel, but on the night of the wedding Laban swapped Rachel for her older sister Leah. Jacob didn't notice this until they were already married, so he had to work another seven years for permission to marry Rachel, the girl he actually loved.



* BerserkButton: When some people decided to turn God's temple into a marketplace (''twice''), [[BewareTheNiceOnes Jesus was not amused]].



* BigBadFriend: According to [[{{Fanon}} popular legend]], Judas was Jesus' best friend.
* BigDamnHeroes: Daniel saves Susanna's honor.



* {{Bookends}}: In the Gospel of Mark, when Jesus is baptized, the heavens split in half and God announces that Jesus is His son. At [[spoiler:the crucifixion, a curtain depicting the heavens in the temple tears in half and exposes the Ark of the Covenant (figuratively God's presence)]].



* BratsWithSlingshots: Notably ''not'' David, though many, many people believe he used one. What he really used was a ''sling''--which, in so many words, was the ancient world's equivalent of a gun or bow and arrow, rather than a kid's toy.



* BurnTheWitch: God did not allow witchcraft-practitioners to live in the Mosaic Covenant period, although the method of execution was more likely stoning. Used later in history to justify witch-burning.



* CelibateHero: Jesus, and possibly others we forget. Some people think that Jesus was married, but that his wife was not mentioned in the Bible (there are also a lot of speculations about why this is). Other people see this idea as heresy.



* ChekhovsSkill: Both used and averted with Moses and the burning bush. God teaches Moses how to turn his staff into a serpent, and how to turn the skin of his hand leprous (as well as cure it), both in order to demonstrate that he is a prophet of the Lord. He performs the former, but the latter never shows up again.
* CherryTapping: Samson kills 1,000 '''Philistines''' ''[[BadWithTheBone with a donkey's jaw]]'', and then follows it up with a pun.
* ChildProdigy: Jesus teaching when He was only twelve. Everyone was astonished at his understanding and answers.



* ClapYourHandsIfYouBelieve: Clapping is an expression of worship in Psalms, and in many churches today.
* ColonyDrop: Wormwood among other stars during Revelation.



* DavidVersusGoliath: The TropeNamer. Goliath was a heavily armored soldier who stood 3 meters tall and terrified all the Israelites. David, the youngest son of his father and a lowly shepherd, rejected all armor and beat him with just a sling.



* DefiledForever: In the Old Testament there are several rules regarding purity and defilement. Deuteronomy, chapter 22 for example, demands the death penalty for various forms of sex outside marriage, but notably clears the woman if rape is proven (she was heard crying for help) or assumed (there's no way to prove she ''wasn't'' crying for help), making this a slight yet notable aversion.



* DidYouJustPunchOutCthulhu: Jacob wrestled ''an angel'' for an entire night (though many scholars believe Jacob was actually ''wrestling with God'' via theophany). The angel had to resort to cursing Jacob's hip in order to win, and Jacob ''still'' obtained a blessing (which remains in effect to this day) before he let the angel leave. To those of your who don't know, Jacob earned a nickname for that feat, which is literally translated as "Wrestles with God" ... The nickname is ''"Israel"''.



* DistantFinale: The Book of Revelation; just ''how'' distant depends on who you ask. There are actually several major interpretations of what the Revelation of John '''is'''. First, a book of prophecy of the future. Second, a description of present conditions of the Christian ecclesia. A third is that this book is like other Apocalypses written in roughly the same time period, and primarily an account of the salvation of a single soul, John of Patmos. It could also be ''all'' or ''none'' of these as well.



* DontLookBack: In the story of Sodom and Gomorrah, Lot and his family live in a city full of sinners. God allows them to escape while He destroys the city. However, they are told not to turn back. Lot's wife, however, does it anyway, and she is then turned into salt.
* DoubleStandardViolenceChildOnAdult: God [[WouldHurtAChild doesn't subscribe to this trope]]: "And [Elisha the prophet] went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them." Yes, He had children rent apart by bears on a case of verbal abuse.In fact, you could extend His aversion of this trope to his interactions with every being in Creation.



* DownTheDrain: In some translations of Judges 3, this is how Ehud escaped after [[CrowningMomentOfFunny killing King Eglon]], who had defeated the Israelites, in a rather unusual manner.



* TheDragon: [[InvertedTrope Inverted:]] The Dragon in Revelation ''is'' the BigBad. Some sects (and [[ShinMegamiTensei some videogames that base their version of Satan on such beliefs]]) have Satan as God's agent.



* TheEeyore: Qoheleth/Kohelet, the traditional author/narrator of ''Ecclesiastes''. Given his title "Son of David, King in Jerusalem," he's probably also Solomon. (''Kohelet'' is the [[LostInTranslation Hebrew and original name]] of ''Ecclesiastes'', but it's not uncommon for something in K'tuvim (the last third of the Old Testament) to be anonymous.)



* EnigmaticEmpoweringEntity: This role is fulfilled by God as he shows himself to Moses in a burning bush.



* EverythingsBetterWithMonkeys: Solomon loved monkeys so much he had them imported (1 Kings 10:22)



* EverythingsBetterWithRainbows: After the massive flood in Genesis, God promises not to drown all the creatures again and puts a rainbow in the sky as a symbol of his covenant with them.



* FauxEmpoweringEntity: Satan arguably fills this role as he's tempting Jesus with empty/meaningless promises in the desert.



* FireAndBrimstoneHell: Mostly according to John the Revelator. The Biblical basis for belief in such a hell is extremely shaky, at best. Note that it differs from the popular depiction as the demons are said to be tortured alongside the people in there, not as being the torturers.
* FirstGirlWins: Adam and Eve. Although according to {{Fanon}}, Eve was actually the second girl. A few sources even have her third.



* GivingThemTheStrip: This is how Joseph struggles free from Potiphar's wife after she tries to seduce him forcefully. It does make it difficult for him to explain why (a) she is claiming that he tried to rape her and (b) [[NotWhatItLooksLike she has his clothes to prove it]].



* GoKartingWithBowser: According to the book of Job, Satan has been known to hang around heaven and take friendly bets with God.
* GodSaveUsFromTheQueen: Jezebel (tried to destroy Judaism) and her daughter Athaliah (had all her grandkids killed, save one, almost destroying David's royal line)



* HeelFaceTurn: Saul on the road to Damascus, who quite literally "saw the light". In fact, in the German translation this became De.VomSaulusZumPaulus - "from Saul to Paul", a common German figure of speech.



* HopeSpot: Pilate tries to have [[spoiler:Jesus]] released, but the mob insists on [[spoiler:his crucifixion]]. Although Pilate was a jerk, depending on who you talk to. In other branches, he's a saint. Literally.
* HotBlooded: Samson was a Hot-Blooded WorldsStrongestMan who killed a ''thousand'' Philistines with the jawbone of an ass. After a deadly HumiliationConga that involved a certain [[TheVamp seductress]], a TraumaticHaircut ''and'' EyeScream, he [[TakingYouWithMe took down]] ''[[TakingYouWithMe thousands]]'' [[TakingYouWithMe more]] with him by breaking the pillars of a temple.



* IdiotBall: Samson finds some bees have made their hive in the corpse of a lion, so he eats some of the honey and gives the rest to his parents. The honey that came from a ''dead lion''. Especially bad since, as a Nazarite, he's not allowed to touch, let alone eat, anything that came from corpses.



* ImplausibleDeniability: Cain is enough of a moron to think he can lie to an omniscient, omnipotent God.
* ImprobableWeaponUser: Samson killed some Philistines using the jawbone of a donkey.



* JacobMarleyWarning: Subverted. In the parable of the Rich Man and Lazarus (a different [[BackFromTheDead Lazarus]]), the Rich Man goes to hell so he begs the Lord for the chance to warn his family of the dangers of their ways. The Lord knocks the idea down, pointing out that he's sent plenty of prophets to spell it out for them all already.
* JaywalkingWillRuinYourLife: The first two people decide to have a bit of fruit, resulting in [[spoiler: the fall of man and eternal punishment]].



* JesusWasWayCool: Jesus himself. He survived an attempted stoning, and when he found out about the moneychangers' tables in the temple he sat down for a good hour and braided himself a whip which he then used to chase them out. He apparently kept it with him after that because he broke it out again later to do the exact same thing. He told a storm to shut the hell up because he was trying to sleep ''and it listened,'' brought multiple people back from the dead simply by asking then nicely (and sometimes not so nicely), cured a blind man with spit and dirt, and his mere presence was enough to cast out demons and cure mental illnesses. Not to mention the fact that most victims of crucifixion are tied to the cross, Jesus was ''nailed.''



* LoadBearingHero: Samson, though it's an inversion since he ''brings down the temple!'' He's still the hero, though. He also pulls up a set of city gates and walks away with them.



* LyricalDissonance: The Song of Moses from Deuteronomy 32:1-43 which was sung as the Israelites finally entered the Promised Land. In the passages beforehand, God had flat out told Moses that his people were going to mess up badly in the end, and gave the song to Moses as a reminder of what they needed to do once that day came to repent. Nevertheless, it's about as uplifting as a kick in the balls.
* MarryThemAll: Jacob works for Laban seven years to marry his beloved Rachel. When the ceremony rolls around, he finds he's married to Leah, her older sister, instead. Laban's solution: you have to work another seven years to get the other girl, too. Not only that, but both women bring their handmaids into it, too: Rachel because she's barren (for a while), and Leah because, well, she's [[TheUnfavorite the less favored wife]] and has to keep up. So Jacob winds up having four "wives" and a total of 13 children.



* MindScrew: Revelation. According to some historians, the man who wrote it [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs actually]] ''[[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs was]]'' [[WhatDoYouMeanItWasntMadeOnDrugs on drugs]].



* MysticalPlague: A couple of the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Plagues_of_Egypt Plagues of Egypt]] in The Bible fit: the plague of pestilence (which only affected livestock) and the plague of boils (skin disease).
* NayTheist: Romans 1 declares that existence of God is entirely evident and undeniable, and thus all atheists are this.



* NoDoubtTheYearsHaveChangedMe: Joseph's brothers are unable to recognise him after twenty years of separation. It's not surprising, considering that they last saw him as the AnnoyingYoungerSibling whom they sold to slavery, and now he's the Vizier of Egypt and Pharaoh's NumberTwo.



* {{Omniglot}}: One of the powers of [[ClapYourHandsIfYouBelieve true believers]], according to {{Fanon}}, along with the ability to [[AcquiredPoisonImmunity drink anything poisonous]], [[TheExorcist exorcise demons]], [[HealingHands heal the sick]], and for ''truest'' of true believers NighInvulnerability against demons and evil spirits! A few American groups interpret the source for this one (speaking in tongues) to mean a language absolutely nobody on Earth understands. No one seems to know why.
* OneManArmy: Samson is practically an UrExample of this. He killed a thousand soldiers with the ''jawbone of a donkey'', and then he ''collapsed an entire temple'' on top of 3000 more.



* OppositeSexClone: God took Adam's rib and cloned Eve from it.
* OurAncestorsAreSuperheroes: The first humans are depicted as living for anywhere from 300 to 900 years, even the ones who didn't have god-given superpowers. Justified in other cases like Samson, or the miracles of the prophets like Moses, Elijah and Jesus. There is implication that humans were originally created immortal with natural abilities that could be considered superhuman but greatly diminished after the Fall and have been further declining over time, healthcare and technology notwithstanding.



* ParentalIncest: Lot and his daughters in Genesis 19:30-38. Though, technically, that was ''rape'' ... by the ''daughters''.



* PlayingWithFire: Elijah incinerates much of Israel during his time as a BadassPreacher, including [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome all the foreign prophets who opposed him during a dramatic standoff.]] He also flew to heaven on a chariot drawn by flaming horses.
* PleaseShootTheMessenger: King David gets Uriah out of the way by sending him back to camp with dispatches for the general, Joab. Joab's orders: "Put Uriah out in front where the fighting is fiercest. Then withdraw from him so he will be struck down and die."



* {{Pun}}: In Hebrew, "madmen" means "silence". From Jeremiah 48:2 (NLV translation):
-->The town of Madmen, too, will be silenced; the sword will follow you there.



* RapeAndRevenge: In the book of Genesis, Dinah's brothers kill Shechem (and all the men in his village) after he "lay with her by force," or "subdued her," or "violated her." Their father was not impressed.



* ReplacementGoldfish: After Job's loved ones, friends, and nodding acquaintances are all killed horribly, he eventually has new ones.
* ReptilesAreAbhorrent: Played straight with the story from Genesis, in which the snake is the bad guy. Played with in the incident involving Moses at Pharaoh's court where serpents representing the rival gods duke it out (guess who wins). Played straight in that all reptiles fall into the category of "unclean" species, and snakes are associated with Satan (himself called a dragon in Revelations). Double-subverted later in Exodus when a pillar with bronze snakes is set up to cure the Israelites of a plague -- it later becomes a pagan idol.
* TheRevolutionWillNotBeVilified: Moses is effectively literature's first bio-terrorist, and takes out his aggression against the government on the civilian population.



* RockOfLimitlessWater: In one of the earliest examples of this trope, Moses strikes a rock with his staff, and by God's power, a waterfall begins spewing out.



* ScryVsScry: Moses against Pharaoh's priests. They turned their staffs into serpents; Moses's staff became a serpent which devoured the others.



* ShamingTheMob: "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone." Not to mention the pissed-off mob at Jesus' trial.



* TheSoulsaver: Jesus dying on the cross saved the souls of all who believe in Him, both those who had died before Him like Abraham and people who came after Him. (Some interpretations have him literally going ToHellAndBack to retrieve the righteous dead.)



* TheStarsAreGoingOut: In the Apocalypse of John, when the stars (or rather, ''shooting'' stars) fall from sky and the [[WeirdMoon moon turns blood red]].



* StuffedIntoTheFridge: Job's family, servants, and employees, as a wager between two supernatural beings, [[TheThemeParkVersion at least in the South Park version of events]]. Satan, literally, the Accuser, in the Bible proper has the authority and right to test ANYONE through suffering, within limits. In Job's case, God had sheltered him disproportionately up to that point, hence the extreme fridge-stuffing.



* SympathyForTheHero: Many versions of Pontius Pilate's story show him having this for Jesus, and admitting that Jesus broke no Roman law.



* TakingYouWithMe: Samson. Could be a case of either HeroicSacrifice or RedemptionEqualsDeath, maybe both considering what happened earlier ...
* TemptingFate: The civilization at [[TowerOfBabel Babel]].
-->..."Come, let us build ourselves a city, and a tower with its top in the heavens, and let us make a name for ourselves; otherwise we shall be scattered abroad upon the face of the whole earth." The LORD came down to see the city and the tower, which mortals had built. And the LORD said, "Look, they are one people, and they have all one language; and this is only the beginning of what they will o; nothing that they propose to do now will be impossible for them. Come, let us go down, and confused their language there, so that they will not understand one another's speech."



* TwentyBearAsses: Saul offered his daughter's hand in marriage to David, if David could bring him [[GroinAttack 100 Philistine foreskins]]. David one-upped him and brought back 200.



* UnwantedFalseFaith: Acts 14, Paul of Tarsus and Barnabus are witnessing in one Greek city and performing some miracles while they were at it. The citizens of the city were convinced that they were the Gods, Hermes and Zeus respectively and set up a whole procession to sacrificing to them as such. The apostles had to go to considerable lengths trying to make them to stop. This, in turn, made it easier for troublemakers to convince the very same citizens to attempt stoning Paul and Barnabus to death.
* TheUriahGambit: TropeNamer. Named after David's attempt to get a woman and conceal his guilt by sending her husband who is one of his own loyal soldiers to death in the hands of the enemy.



* WarriorPoet: David, giant slayer and great musician/poet/dancer.



* WhoWantsToLiveForever: Adam and Eve are banished from Eden, in part, so that they won't be able to eat from the Tree of Life, causing them to live forever with the curses they received for eating from the Tree of Knowledge.
* WorldsStrongestMan: Samson was given supernatural strength by God. He could to stuff like beating an entire army with an donkeys jawbone.
* XanatosGambit: Joseph plays one when he demands that the brothers give up Benjamin to be his slave and themselves return to Canaan safely. That way, he ensure that either he gets to keep Benjamin with him (if his brothers treat Benjamin like a dispensable family member, as they treated Joseph years ago), or his brothers show a sufficient CharacterArc by refusing to leave Benjamin in Egypt, in which case he reconciles with all of them and brings his entire clan over to Egypt. Luckily for the Israelites, the latter plan eventuates.
* YouCantGoHomeAgain: After Adam and Eve break the rules in the Garden of Eden, they are cast out forever and an angel with a flaming sword guards it from them. Hence, they and their descendants spread around the planet.
* YouNeverDidThatForMe: Happens at the end of the parable of The Prodigal Son, where the brother who ''didn't'' leave home and waste all his money wonders why he doesn't get a fatted calf.
26th Mar '17 8:54:33 AM nombretomado
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* MessianicArchetype: Three big ones. Jesus, Mohammed (technically a prophet, rather than a messiah, but fulfilling a similar narrative role), and the nameless "moshiach", or messiah of the Jews, who don't accept the cannonicity of the New Testement. The last one one has only appeared in previews and foreshadowing, so we're still waiting on the next sequel to provide his name.
20th Feb '17 4:46:56 PM nombretomado
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* DeathOfAChild:
** The Bible features, among other acts of evil, the killings of firstborn children ordered by Pharaoh and King Herod in order to try to prevent both Moses and Jesus from growing up to cause trouble, and God himself killing all of the Egyptians' firstborn children, and the firstborn calves as well.
** When the words Molech/Baal-Hammon, Astarte/Astarthe/Astaroth/Ashtoreth, the Valley of Ben-Hinnom/Gehenna, the Ammonites/Amorites, the Canaanites, etc. are mentioned, these are specifically referencing the sacrifices of children, born and unborn, to the gods of some of the cultures of the time. Sometimes the Jewish people (such as Kings Solomon, Achaz, and Manasses) messed up and took on this practice as well, despite God calling such a practice an abomination, and demanding the death of those who did such things. Those people ended up in a lot of trouble. It's the whole reason that Gehenna came to be the Jewish word for Tartarus/Hell (which is different from Sheol/Hades/Purgatory).
** In 2 Maccabees, when the Jewish people rebelled against the corrupt high priest Jason, who had been appointed by King Antiochus IV, and ran him out of town, the king left Egypt for Jerusalem. Once in Jerusalem, he massacred many, young and old, women and children, virgins and infants. In 1 and 2 Maccabees (2 Maccabees is not a "sequel', it's another viewpoint of what happened in the the first book), King Antiochus IV then decreed that everyone take up the customs of everyone else, except the Jewish customs. He outlawed all Jewish customs, including circumcision. The children who were circumcised were killed, as were their mothers and whoever performed the circumcision.
13th Feb '17 3:40:21 PM nombretomado
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* DishonoredDead: This happens to a few kings of Judah in The Book of Chronicles. Most kings were buried in rock tombs near their ancestors. Jehoram is not buried with the other kings due to being rather nasty, and Azariah/Uzziah is buried in a field due to being a leper.
8th Jan '17 11:46:03 AM nombretomado
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* StartMyOwn:
** In popular legend, when Simon Magus couldn't bribe his way into the new Church--thus inventing the term "simony"--he went around heckling Peter and trying to raise his own church by magic. They then had a showdown in Rome, where Simon wound up dying with varying degrees of impressiveness, DependingOnTheWriter. In the actual verse where he's mentioned, though, it says he became a lay worshiper.
** Gnosticism, as a very early example. And later the Christianity of Constantine, who simply threw Jesus on the pile of gods he already worshipped.
** Early Catholics believed that Muhammad was one of these divisive figures, which is why Dante Alighieri [[Literature/TheDivineComedy put him in Hell with similar offenders]].

to:

* StartMyOwn:
**
StartMyOwn: In popular legend, when Simon Magus couldn't bribe his way into the new Church--thus inventing the term "simony"--he went around heckling Peter and trying to raise his own church by magic. They then had a showdown in Rome, where Simon wound up dying with varying degrees of impressiveness, DependingOnTheWriter. In the actual verse where he's mentioned, though, it says he became a lay worshiper.
** Gnosticism, as a very early example. And later the Christianity of Constantine, who simply threw Jesus on the pile of gods he already worshipped.
** Early Catholics believed that Muhammad was one of these divisive figures, which is why Dante Alighieri [[Literature/TheDivineComedy put him in Hell with similar offenders]].
worshiper.
8th Jan '17 11:42:52 AM nombretomado
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Comprising the works of many writers from the 11th century BC to about 200 AD, before the advent of mass communication, the Bible is one of humanity's best-known and longest-enduring books, with 1500 ancient surviving Greek manuscripts making it the ancient world's best seller ({{Homer}}, with 643 surviving manuscripts of ''The Iliad'', comes in second). The absence of a single authority with a strictly defined canon policy has proven an obstacle, however. Or rather, the existence of dozens or hundreds of conflicting authorities. Historically, it resulted in some of the the most devastating {{Flame War}}s ever, and in actual wars as well.

to:

Comprising the works of many writers from the 11th century BC to about 200 AD, before the advent of mass communication, the Bible is one of humanity's best-known and longest-enduring books, with 1500 ancient surviving Greek manuscripts making it the ancient world's best seller ({{Homer}}, (Creator/{{Homer}}, with 643 surviving manuscripts of ''The Iliad'', ''Literature/TheIliad'', comes in second). The absence of a single authority with a strictly defined canon policy has proven an obstacle, however. Or rather, the existence of dozens or hundreds of conflicting authorities. Historically, it resulted in some of the the most devastating {{Flame War}}s ever, and in actual wars as well.
28th Nov '16 5:55:54 PM nombretomado
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* CherryTapping: Samson kills 1,000 '''Philistines''' ''[[BadAss with a donkey's jaw]]'', and then follows it up with a pun.

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* CherryTapping: Samson kills 1,000 '''Philistines''' ''[[BadAss ''[[BadWithTheBone with a donkey's jaw]]'', and then follows it up with a pun.



* HotBlooded: Samson was a Hot-Blooded WorldsStrongestMan who killed a ''thousand'' Philistines with the jawbone of an ass. After a deadly HumiliationConga that involved a certain [[TheVamp seductress]], a TraumaticHaircut ''and'' EyeScream, he [[TakingYouWithMe took down]] ''[[TakingYouWithMe thousands]]'' [[TakingYouWithMe more]] with him by breaking the pillars of a temple. '''[[BadAss Epic]]'''.

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* HotBlooded: Samson was a Hot-Blooded WorldsStrongestMan who killed a ''thousand'' Philistines with the jawbone of an ass. After a deadly HumiliationConga that involved a certain [[TheVamp seductress]], a TraumaticHaircut ''and'' EyeScream, he [[TakingYouWithMe took down]] ''[[TakingYouWithMe thousands]]'' [[TakingYouWithMe more]] with him by breaking the pillars of a temple. '''[[BadAss Epic]]'''.
26th Nov '16 1:06:29 PM nombretomado
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* AbridgedForChildren: The Bible gets this treatment, which is quite understandable when you actually read it for yourself and realize just how horrific some of the worst bits are (the Crucifixion itself falls a long way behind being the worst it gets). Examples include a woman literally being ''raped to death'', a process that continues through the night and ends with her lifeless body being found on the doorstep the next morning (and it just gets worse from there).
19th Nov '16 5:20:36 AM SeptimusHeap
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* {{Badass}}:
** Really, 2nd Samuel has a ''list'' of Badasses who worked for King David, and were referred to as the "[[BadassCrew Mighty Men]]". The entire list is filled with stories of people killing off hundreds of people singlehanded, or fighting wild animals.
** Benaiah, who "killed a lion in a pit on a day when it had snowed."

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* {{Badass}}:
** Really,
BadassCrew: 2nd Samuel has a ''list'' of Badasses who worked for King David, and were referred to as the "[[BadassCrew Mighty Men]]". "Mighty Men". The entire list is filled with stories of people killing off hundreds of people singlehanded, or fighting wild animals.
** Benaiah, who "killed a lion in a pit on a day when it had snowed."
animals.



** The story of Samson can be retroactively seen as a deconstruction of the MessianicArchetype. He knew he was the ChosenOne and abused his special status, and he was overconfident with his powers, leading to him getting betrayed by Delilah. In the end he pushed those pillars down and killed the Philistines out of revenge because he had nothing left to live for. For the irony-challenged, however, Samson is purely a {{Badass}} folk hero who gets a GreatWayToGo.

to:

** The story of Samson can be retroactively seen as a deconstruction of the MessianicArchetype. He knew he was the ChosenOne and abused his special status, and he was overconfident with his powers, leading to him getting betrayed by Delilah. In the end he pushed those pillars down and killed the Philistines out of revenge because he had nothing left to live for. For the irony-challenged, however, Samson is purely a {{Badass}} badass folk hero who gets a GreatWayToGo.
16th Nov '16 4:11:11 PM nombretomado
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%%** AND Ehud, God's ninja.
** Really, 2nd Samuel has a ''list'' of Badasses who worked for King David, and were referred to as the "Mighty Men". The entire list is filled with stories of people killing off hundreds of people singlehanded, or fighting wild animals.

to:

%%** AND Ehud, God's ninja.
** Really, 2nd Samuel has a ''list'' of Badasses who worked for King David, and were referred to as the "Mighty Men"."[[BadassCrew Mighty Men]]". The entire list is filled with stories of people killing off hundreds of people singlehanded, or fighting wild animals.



** [[DavidVersusGoliath David himself, killing Goliath]], a giant, as well as a lion and a bear, with a ''sling''. Number of stones picked up by David: five. Number of "sons of Anak" in Philistia at that time: five. A fourteen-year-old boy with that level of badassery: priceless.
** Another example of David's Badassery--in order to marry his love, Michal, Saul ordered him to bring [[TwentyBearAsses 100 Philistine foreskins]]. He brought ''twice that number'', just for the hell of it. ThePowerOfLove, indeed. [[spoiler: (Subverted in that they end up hating each other)]]
** Jacob wrestled ''an angel'' for an entire night (though many scholars believe Jacob was actually ''[[DidYouJustPunchOutCthulhu wrestling with God]]'' via theophany). The angel had to resort to cursing Jacob's hip in order to win, and Jacob ''still'' obtained a blessing (which remains in effect to this day) before he let the angel leave. To those of your who don't know, Jacob earned a nickname for that feat, which is literally translated as "Wrestles with God" ... The nickname is ''"Israel"''.
** Jesus himself. He survived an attempted stoning, and when he found out about the moneychangers' tables in the temple he sat down for a good hour and braided himself a whip which he then used to chase them out. He apparently kept it with him after that because he broke it out again later to do the exact same thing. He told a storm to shut the hell up because he was trying to sleep ''and it listened,'' brought multiple people back from the dead simply by asking then nicely (and sometimes not so nicely), cured a blind man with spit and dirt, and his mere presence was enough to cast out demons and cure mental illnesses. Not to mention the fact that most victims of crucifixion are tied to the cross, Jesus was ''nailed.'' JesusWasWayCool indeed.



* DidYouJustPunchOutCthulhu: Jacob wrestled ''an angel'' for an entire night (though many scholars believe Jacob was actually ''wrestling with God'' via theophany). The angel had to resort to cursing Jacob's hip in order to win, and Jacob ''still'' obtained a blessing (which remains in effect to this day) before he let the angel leave. To those of your who don't know, Jacob earned a nickname for that feat, which is literally translated as "Wrestles with God" ... The nickname is ''"Israel"''.



* JesusWasWayCool: Just look at all the cool shit he did above with regards to being a BadAss and DeadpanSnarker! Plus he turned water into wine and made lunch for everybody, Jesus was AWESOME.

to:

* JesusWasWayCool: Just look at all Jesus himself. He survived an attempted stoning, and when he found out about the cool shit moneychangers' tables in the temple he did above sat down for a good hour and braided himself a whip which he then used to chase them out. He apparently kept it with regards him after that because he broke it out again later to being do the exact same thing. He told a BadAss storm to shut the hell up because he was trying to sleep ''and it listened,'' brought multiple people back from the dead simply by asking then nicely (and sometimes not so nicely), cured a blind man with spit and DeadpanSnarker! Plus he turned water into wine dirt, and made lunch for everybody, his mere presence was enough to cast out demons and cure mental illnesses. Not to mention the fact that most victims of crucifixion are tied to the cross, Jesus was AWESOME.''nailed.''
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