History Literature / LambTheGospelAccordingToBiff

* BigBrotherInstinct: A big part of Biff's heart of gold is his constant and never wavering desire to protect Josh, not just follow him. The one time he leaves Josh, he's at a complete loss at what to do until he goes back. Even the monks noticed it.
--> ''"If I was basking in the light of his holiness all of the time, how would I take care of him? Who would do all of his [[NecessarilyEvil lying and cheating]] for him?"''

* BishieSparkle:
-->'''Biff''': And this golden stuff around you, this light, what is this?\\

* CelibateHero: Josh is commanded by an angel (Raziel) not to "know women." What exactly does ''that'' mean? They mean to ask Raziel the next time he appears... but, as a RunningGag, they never get around to it.

* JesusTheEarlyYears: The book is all about this. "Josh" travels to India, China, and The Middle East to visit TheThreeWiseMen, where they in turn teach Jesus one different facet of his later teachings. (In the afterword, Moore is specific in mentioning that Buddhism didn't reach China in the lifetime of Jesus. For him to study under a Buddha in Tibet would have been anachronistic.)

* JesusWasWayCool: Basically the whole point of the book, along with...

* PalsWithJesus: Obviously, in the title.

* TokenEvilTeammate Biff is a downplayed version of this. He's not evil, but unlike Josh he's more than willing to lie, cheat, and even use deadly force when necessary. Biff summed it up himself when asked why such a jerkass follows the Messiah.

--> ''"If I was basking in the light of his holiness all of the time, how would I take care of him? Who would do all of his lying and cheating for him?"''

--->'''Biff''': The angel confided in me that he is going to ask the Lord if he can become Franchise/SpiderMan...

* ShamingTheMob: "Let he who is without sin..." (Josh himself is played completely straight in this scene, and in fact in most of the book; it's Biff who provides most of the silliness...mostly. Josh gets some good ones in as well.)

* OddNameOut: All of Balthasar's concubines have long and elaborate names, often regarding their occupation (for instance, "Tiny Feet of the Divine Dance of Joyous Orgasm," who for obvious reasons just goes by "Joy")... Except for the last one: "Sue (short for Susanna)".[[spoiler: A subversion, too, since Joy, not Susannah, lives through the following disaster.]]
* OhAndXDies: When Biff finally gets the key to open the big scary door...[[spoiler:he has an adorable exchange with one of Balthasar's concubines... and mentions that was the last time he ever saw her in one piece]].

** Legion himselves show up, to be banished into some pigs and drowned...which causes some unpleasantness. Turns out Gentiles don't like it when you slaughter their livestock wholesale...

* TheShangriLa: One of the three Wise Men lives here, complete with a Yeti, who is the LastOfHisKind...which in itself is deconstructed when Josh, FriendToAllLivingThings that he is, befriends said yeti. Also subverted as the monastery is described as incredibly cold, and generally not a fun place to live.

* BibleTimes: Obviously as it’s about an unknown friend of Jesus (Joshua)

* AnythingThatMoves: Sort of a running gag throughout the book. There were some ''perverted people'' back then...

%%* BibleTimes

%%* TheDitz: Raziel

%%** Also Bart

%%* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: Biff.

%%* LovableSexManiac: Biff

** Biff suggests that Joshua's mom (you know, the Virgin Mary) has a touch of this quality about her, which doesn't help the family much. (Of course, Biff finds it [[CharmPoint charming]]...)

* DeadpanSnarker[=/=]FirstPersonSmartass: Biff, who ''invents the concept of sarcasm.''

* KungFuJesus / MartialPacifist: Biff and Josh are taught kung fu during their travels, but Joshua [[TechnicalPacifist refuses to learn the bits which involve weapons]], and indeed any direct violence at all. Instead he pioneers a totally reactive martial art which would forever be known as "the way of the Jew," or "''[[IncrediblyLamePun Jew do]]''".
** In the afterword, Moore goes on to explain all the anachronisms involved with this sequence, and then explains that he chose to disregard them because of how awesome this trope is.

* OhAndXDies: When Biff finally gets the key to open the big scary door...[[spoiler: he has an adorable exchange with one of Balthasar's concubines... and mentions that was the last time he ever saw her in one piece.]]

* TheShangriLa: One of the three Wise Men lives here, complete with a Yeti, who is the LastOfHisKind...which in itself is deconstructed when Josh, FriendToAllLivingThings that he is, befriends said yeti...
** Also subverted as the monastery is described as incredibly cold, and generally not a fun place to live.

* TheLegionsOfHell:
** Legion himselves show up, to be banished into some pigs and drowned...which causes some unpleasantness. Turns out Gentiles don't like it when you slaughter their livestock wholesale...
** The demon Catch.

** There's also the fact that Biff is the only "good" character to threaten to kill people. And after Josh is crucified he [[spoiler:immediately tracks down Judas and LYNCHES HIM before committing suicide.]]

* UncannyFamilyResemblance[=/=]FamousAncestor: There's a slight implication that the Emperor of San Francisco from ''Literature/BloodsuckingFiends'' and ''Literature/ADirtyJob'' might be Bartholomew's descendant, considering both are huge, bearded homeless men accompanied by dogs and completely happy with the way they live, not to mention, well... [[CrazyHomelessPeople they seem crazy]] (or [[TheCuckoolanderWasRight do they?]]). Or maybe Bart is just an Expy...

** Another good example of the "AffectionateParody" nature of the story. Peter takes one step... and goes straight in]. Josh teases him for being [[SchmuckBait dumb as a rock]], but also praises him for the strength of his faith, claiming, "On this rock..."

* CaffeineBulletTime: When Joshua for the first time tasted coffee at the Antioch's marketplace, a rapid healing-and-blessing session [[HilarityEnsues ensued]].
-->"“Go with God, and—” Josh spun, jumped, came down with each hand on a stranger’s shoulder and shouted, “Yes! Double healing! Go with God, friends, two times!"

* {{Bishonen}}: Raziel, the angel who resurrects Biff. Supposedly EvenTheGuysWantHim is a standard feature on angels.

** Another good example of the "AffectionateParody" nature of the story. Peter takes one step... and [[RealityEnsues goes straight in]]]. Josh teases him for being [[SchmuckBait dumb as a rock]], but also praises him for the strength of his faith, claiming, "On this rock..."

** Another good example of how Moore both pokes fun at Literature/TheBible and plays it straight. Peter takes one step and goes straight in -- the way anyone would. Josh teases him for being [[SchmuckBait dumb as a rock]], but also praises him for the strength of his faith, claiming, "On this rock..."

* JesusWasCrazy: A corner case. Jesus isn't crazy (and in fact is portrayed as closer to CrazyAwesome) but he's distracted enough by the whole Son of God thing that he comes off as a bit loopy.

* OhAndXDies: When Biff finally gets the key to open the big scary door...[[spoiler: he has an adorable exchange with one of Balthasar's concubines...and mentions that was the last time he ever saw her in one piece.]]

* {{Adorkable}}: Josh comes off as a bit of this. He literally cannot help himself from poking anyone who calls himself an Untouchable, and finds it hilarious every single time.

* ComicSutra: In India, Joshua learns things like yoga from Melchior the Magus, while Biff learns a number of bizarre sexual positions from a local prostitute, such as "The Rhinoceros Balancing a Jelly Donut" and "Rampant Monkey Collecting Coconuts"... It's lampshaded in the afterword that alleged Kama Sutra positions are completely made up, [[RuleOfFunny but hey]] - there's still weirder stuff in the actual ''Literature/KamaSutra''.

** In the afterward, Moore goes on to explain all the anachronisms involved with this sequence, and then explains that he chose to disregard them because of how awesome this trope is.

** Another good example of how Moore both pokes fun at Literature/TheBible and plays it straight. Peter takes one step and goes straight in. Josh teases him for being dumb as a rock, but also praises him for the strength of his faith, claiming, "On this rock..."

----

* BibleTimes

* TheDitz: Raziel

* JerkWithAHeartOfGold: Biff.

* LovableSexManiac: Biff

* PekingDuckChristmas: Biff claims that they started this tradition - eating chinese food on Josh's birthday.
* PingPongNaivete: Biff goes back and forth from being dangerously street wise and being a complete idiot.