History JustForFun / TheUniversalGenreSavvyGuide

20th Nov '17 9:00:38 PM Random888
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*** Unless I'm being interrogated by {{Series/Columbo}}. Then I'll refuse to answer even the most innocuous questions and demand a lawyer immediately.

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*** Unless I'm being interrogated by {{Series/Columbo}}. Then I'll refuse to answer even the most innocuous questions and demand a lawyer immediately. I especially won't say anything to the effect of, "If I did do it, you'll never prove it."
15th Nov '17 6:31:53 AM someguy3657
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** If I can't afford to move out, then I will stay indoors as much as possible. Considering the homes in these kind of cities seem to be able to withstand a tank blast, I can't think of a safer place to be when the protagonist inevitably rampages through the streets.
* I will figure out which street gang or criminal empire seems to be the underdog that is rapidly expanding. Then, if I have to do business with any gang, it will be with them and ONLY them.
* If I have to own a car, I will make sure to drive a slow, crappy sedan. Driving an exotic sports car is just asking to get carjacked.
15th Nov '17 6:16:24 AM someguy3657
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* If I'm a passenger in the car the protagonist is driving and the car suddenly catches on fire, I will bail out immediately and keep a safe distance from the inevitable explosion. I won't stay in the car until the protagonist steps out, get caught in the explosion, die, and force the protagonist to reload the mission from the beginning.
14th Nov '17 5:17:17 PM OctoberRaven
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[[folder:Pro Wrestling]]
*If I'm in the same promotion as Hulk Hogan, I will verify if he is the traditional, heroic Hulkster or if he's in his Hollywood persona.
**If I'm a villain and Hogan is in red and yellow, I will avoid facing him at all costs.
**If I have to face him, and I get to the inevitable part of the match where he starts hulking up, I will immediately attempt a sleeper hold, or my finishing move. Anything except punching him. If I punch him, I will lose.
**I will not try to defeat him by submission, however. Unless I am Brock Lesnar, this will not work.
**If I somehow manage to defeat him, I will refuse to grant him a rematch. I will lose that rematch, and being one of the few people Hogan has never beat will make me more of a threat.
**If I beat him for the title and he gets a title rematch, I will immediately get myself DQed. That's my only hope.
**If I am a hero, I will befriend Hulk Hogan, but not be a hanger-on to him. Being friends with the Hulkster means I have a trump card ally. Being close friends to him will make me a target of every villain who is fueding with him.
**If he's Hollywood, I will attempt to remove his posse from the equation if at all possible. If I cannot do this before the match, I will bring backup to neutralize any run-in attempts.
**My backup will not consist of anyone I've had a storied relationship with, good or bad. An old rival is likely to betray me. A good friend will almost certainly betray me. I will also turn down anyone who volunteers to be my backup without me asking them. They will also certainly betray me.
**Whoever I select as my backup will not be allowed to wear any T-shirts, jackets, or anything else that can be used to conceal a T-shirt underneath. This will reduce the odds of my backup betraying me significantly.
**I will instruct that my backup that if they manage to send Hogan's lackeys to the backstage, or if no lackeys show up to the match at all, that they are to immediately go to the back and remain there. Anyone who doesn't do this is going to betray me.
**Should anyone who shows red flags that they are about to double-cross me, I will immediately hit Hogan with my biggest move and attempt to pin him before the traitor can interfere. I will ignore the traitor, because paying attention to him is part of Hogan's plan.
**Even though this version of Hogan will give up in a submission move, I will not attempt to put him in a submission, because the referee is approximately three times more likely to miss the tapout than he is to fail to notice I've pinned Hogan, and if this happens, Hogan's victory is inevitable.
*I will not, for any reason, attempt to powerbomb Billy Kidman.
*I will also not attempt a hurricanrana on Chris Jericho, or any high flying move on Randy Orton.
*If my opponent is a Pacific Islander, I will not attempt to headbutt him or her.
*Unless my last name is Anderson and I am from Minnesota, I will never trust Ric Flair. Especially if I'm Sting.
*If I am in a tag team and we're in a slump, or just lost the titles, or lost a match because of a miscommunication, I will accept the blame.
**If my partner doesn't seem satisfied by this, or seems too satisfied by this, I will betray him before he betrays me. The backstabber is stastically the one more likely to win the rivalry and if it's going to be him or me, I'd rather it be me.
**Furthermore I will always be a team player and part ways with any tag team partner who thinks it's all about him. Amicably, if possible.
*If a team of three are surrounding the ring, I will wait until they get on the apron, and leave the ring through the side that no member is on. For some reason, nobody ever tries this.
*I will ensure that my diet is rich in Vitamin D, and will immediately leave the ring should the lights go out unexpectantly.
**If I hear the sound of a bell, I will leave even faster.
*If I'm in a ladder match, I will not dive from the ladder until someone else has already tried to. This will improve my chances of victory significantly.
**Unless one of my opponents is Jeff Hardy. Then all bets are off.
*I will not accept any opportunity, special or otherwise, from Dario Cueto.
*If I am in ECW, I will never issue an open challenge.
[[/folder]]
14th Nov '17 1:59:25 PM MasterFuzzy
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** Furthermore, by deliberately refusing to make fun of their disability, especially if it's very noticeable, I may win myself a friend through my compassion.


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** I will also pay very close attention to their ExactWords.
13th Nov '17 6:17:55 PM JAG001
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* I will NOT refrain from mating with the pink apes. HalfHumanHybrids with DragonAncestry make for some of the most badass heroes in existence, and I want some of them working for me.
** To ''ensure'' their loyalty, I will raise them with love and respect, train them into {{Dragon Knight}}s, and offer to make them generals in my BadassArmy. HalfHumanHybrids with DragonAncestry whose sires abandon them to a life of abuse and prejudice over their draconic heritage grow up to become some of the most badass ''Dragonslayers'' in existence.
11th Nov '17 9:35:32 PM Random888
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** Dumbledore is either a wise sage, an evil manipulator, or a harmless buffoon. It is imperative that I determine as quickly as possible which version of Dumbledore I will be dealing with.
11th Nov '17 8:58:58 PM Random888
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[[AC: General]]



* If it's a ''Franchise/HarryPotter'' fanfic:
** If the "good" side and the "bad" side have been twisted beyond all recognition, I will join the side with most of the following characters: Harry, Hermione, Draco, Snape, Lupin, Luna, and the Weasley twins.
*** Alternatively, I will [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere ''put as much distance between myself and the conflict as I can altogether'']].
** If Harry is accused of a horrific crime, I will assume he's innocent right away. I will also hide Hedwig and his photo album from everyone else until his innocence is proven.
*** If a key part of the evidence against Harry is that the Marauder's Map said he did it, I will remind everyone that one of the Map's co-creators is a known Death Eater. I will also remind everyone that the last time they assumed someone was guilty just because all the evidence SEEMED to point to that person being guilty, an innocent man spent 12 years in Azkaban, and will insist that the Map be thoroughly tested (ideally by a surviving Marauder other than Pettigrew) to ensure that it hasn't been tampered with (or replaced with a defective copy/prototype)



* In the ''Pokemon''-universe, I will never trust anyone accompanied by a Hypno. Given [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast the name of the species]], the reason for this should be [[MindControl fairly obvious]].




[[AC: Specific fandoms]]
* If it's a ''Franchise/HarryPotter'' fanfic:
** If the "good" side and the "bad" side have been twisted beyond all recognition, I will join the side with most of the following characters: Harry, Hermione, Draco, Snape, Lupin, Luna, and the Weasley twins.
*** Alternatively, I will [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere ''put as much distance between myself and the conflict as I can altogether'']].
** If Harry is accused of a horrific crime, I will assume he's innocent right away. I will also hide Hedwig and his photo album from everyone else until his innocence is proven.
*** If a key part of the evidence against Harry is that the Marauder's Map said he did it, I will remind everyone that one of the Map's co-creators is a known Death Eater. I will also remind everyone that the last time they assumed someone was guilty just because all the evidence SEEMED to point to that person being guilty, an innocent man spent 12 years in Azkaban, and will insist that the Map be thoroughly tested (ideally by a surviving Marauder other than Pettigrew) to ensure that it hasn't been tampered with (or replaced with a defective copy/prototype)
* In the ''Pokemon''-universe, I will never trust anyone accompanied by a Hypno. Given [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast the name of the species]], the reason for this should be [[MindControl fairly obvious]].



11th Nov '17 8:30:46 PM Random888
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*** Unless I'm being interrogated by {{Series/Columbo}}. Then I'll refuse to answer even the most innocuous questions and demand a lawyer immediately.
7th Nov '17 12:36:47 PM JAG001
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* I will maintain active diplomatic relations with other non-hostile dragons. This goes along with my rule of not being a recluse; socially-active dragons benefit from shared advice, intelligence and tactic resources from other socially-active dragons.

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* I will maintain active diplomatic relations with other non-hostile dragons. This goes along with my rule of not being a recluse; socially-active dragons benefit gain important benefits from shared sharing advice, intelligence and tactic tactical resources from with other socially-active dragons.
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