History JustForFun / IfIAmEverHeadOfAnAlienMonitoringAgency

15th Jun '17 6:26:40 PM NXTangl
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

** On the other hand, I ''will'' use common technology if I can employ it as one of many layers that need to be breached before the system is fully compromised; after all, technology that everyone uses is technology that's been tested against a ''lot'' of hackers. Additionally, I will ''never'' use internally-developed cryptographic software unless the algorithms involved have been verified independently by several in-house cryptologists to be resistant to all forms of cryptanalysis besides brute-force and rubber-hose. Even then, I will attempt use multiple encryption algorithms of roughly equal strength so that if one is breached, at least some of our organization remains uncompromised. (Ideally, multiple algorithms will be used on each file such that all need to be breached to recover its contents.)
15th Jun '17 6:01:55 PM NXTangl
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

** Speaking of which, I will have some way of dealing with memetic infections and infohazards, and I will ''ensure'' that my men understand what they are and that they are very possible. Or, in other words, they will understand that it's possible that just thinking about the thing sets it off, so for [[OhMyGods gods]]' sakes don't tell everyone what it is because then they'll set it off too.
14th Jun '17 9:56:30 PM nombretomado
Is there an issue? Send a Message


# If a race of [[HumanAliens apparently human]] [[Series/{{V}} Visitors]] appear friendly but have oddly cool handshakes and cause [[EvilDetectingDog any animals present to panic,]] I will keep them under observation. The fact that someone is a [[TheReptilians reptilian alien]] does not necessarily [[ReptilesAreAbhorrent make them a bad person,]] but if they are trying [[{{Masquerade}} to hide this]] then something is very wrong.

to:

# If a race of [[HumanAliens apparently human]] [[Series/{{V}} [[{{Series/V 1983}} Visitors]] appear friendly but have oddly cool handshakes and cause [[EvilDetectingDog any animals present to panic,]] I will keep them under observation. The fact that someone is a [[TheReptilians reptilian alien]] does not necessarily [[ReptilesAreAbhorrent make them a bad person,]] but if they are trying [[{{Masquerade}} to hide this]] then something is very wrong.



** Also, aliens who want to invade to [[Series/{{V}} steal our water]] will be offered low-priced concessions on Saturn's rings or the Kuiper Belt, self-delivery.

to:

** Also, aliens who want to invade to [[Series/{{V}} [[{{Series/V 1983}} steal our water]] will be offered low-priced concessions on Saturn's rings or the Kuiper Belt, self-delivery.
11th Jun '17 2:27:00 PM nombretomado
Is there an issue? Send a Message


# I will ''really'' make sure I'm recruiting the world's finest soldiers, [[Videogame/{{XCom}} instead of soldiers who cannot hit an alien hostile ten feet away.]]

to:

# I will ''really'' make sure I'm recruiting the world's finest soldiers, [[Videogame/{{XCom}} [[VideoGame/XCom instead of soldiers who cannot hit an alien hostile ten feet away.]]



** If I discover that my nominal bosses have been withholding valuable or vital intelligence or materiel from me, such as the fact that [[VideoGame/TheBureauXCOMDeclassified my agency encountered and already fought off aliens]] when it was in its infancy fifty years ago and in doing so captured vast quantities of alien war materiel and equipment that could have been released to my scientists for study or pressed into service by my tactical teams from the word 'go,' and instead chose to allow me to fight off the alien invasion from [[XCOMEnemyUnknown first principles with a cripplingly-small budget,]] I will be forced to conclude that my superiors are, themselves, enemies of humanity or in league with same, and I will began taking action against them as such.

to:

** If I discover that my nominal bosses have been withholding valuable or vital intelligence or materiel from me, such as the fact that [[VideoGame/TheBureauXCOMDeclassified my agency encountered and already fought off aliens]] when it was in its infancy fifty years ago and in doing so captured vast quantities of alien war materiel and equipment that could have been released to my scientists for study or pressed into service by my tactical teams from the word 'go,' and instead chose to allow me to fight off the alien invasion from [[XCOMEnemyUnknown [[VideoGame/XCOMEnemyUnknown first principles with a cripplingly-small budget,]] I will be forced to conclude that my superiors are, themselves, enemies of humanity or in league with same, and I will began taking action against them as such.



# I will issue Type IV body armour to combat personnel until and unless it is proven to be like unto paper against alien weaponry. If such proof arrives, I will immediately withdraw it from the combat teams, to be replaced with light anti-shrapnel armour and order development of armour that actually does work, [[{{XCom}} using alien armour technology as a starting point]] if recovered examples prove resistant.

to:

# I will issue Type IV body armour to combat personnel until and unless it is proven to be like unto paper against alien weaponry. If such proof arrives, I will immediately withdraw it from the combat teams, to be replaced with light anti-shrapnel armour and order development of armour that actually does work, [[{{XCom}} [[VideoGame/XCom using alien armour technology as a starting point]] if recovered examples prove resistant.



# If I ever run low on money, I will not [[{{XCOM}} sell recovered alien technology on the black market]]. [[Film/{{District 9}} Dealing with heavily armed mobsters along with the aliens might prove to be rather problematic.]]

to:

# If I ever run low on money, I will not [[{{XCOM}} [[VideoGame/XCom sell recovered alien technology on the black market]]. [[Film/{{District 9}} Dealing with heavily armed mobsters along with the aliens might prove to be rather problematic.]]
4th May '17 2:25:54 PM Gregzilla
Is there an issue? Send a Message


# Given that very few nations on this earth still have the exact same sets of allies and enemies they had 100 years ago, I will never presume a friendly alien civilisation will ''[[FaceHeelTurn stay]]'' friendly forever, especially if they have any MagnificentBastard traits: at the very least [[CrazyPrepared I will plan]] for any [[{{Series/Firefly}} sudden, yet inevitable,]] [[ReliableTraitor betrayals.]]

to:

# Given that very few nations on this earth still have the exact same sets of allies and enemies they had 100 years ago, I will never presume a friendly alien civilisation will ''[[FaceHeelTurn stay]]'' friendly forever, especially if they have any MagnificentBastard traits: at the very least [[CrazyPrepared I will plan]] for any [[{{Series/Firefly}} sudden, yet inevitable,]] [[ReliableTraitor inevitable, betrayals.]]
28th Apr '17 2:33:04 PM AHI-3000
Is there an issue? Send a Message


'''Things to think about if I ever run a counter-alien agency.''' [[note]]Works equally well for agencies dealing with supernatural, paranormal, superheroic, or other unusual threats.[[/note]]

to:

'''Things to think about if I ever run [[TheMenInBlack a counter-alien agency.government agency]].''' [[note]]Works equally well for agencies organizations dealing with any kind of paranormal, supernatural, paranormal, superheroic, {{supervillain}}ous, or other unusual threats.[[/note]]



# I will check the phone book to [[Literature/TheDresdenFiles see if anyone is advertising him/herself as a "wizard" or other supernaturally-gifted person.]] If they are, I'll check them out and demand to see actual "magic" in action. If they're fake, no harm done. If they're able to evidence powers which are beyond normal human science and trickery to explain, I'll offer them a job, either full-time or as a consultant and advisor. Better to have them as an ally than a wild card.

to:

# I will check the phone book to [[Literature/TheDresdenFiles see if anyone is advertising him/herself as a "wizard" or other supernaturally-gifted person.]] If they are, I'll check them out and demand to see actual "magic" in action. If they're fake, no harm done. If they're able to evidence powers which are beyond normal human science and trickery to explain, I'll offer them a job, either full-time or as a consultant and advisor.adviser. Better to have them as an ally than a wild card.
28th Apr '17 6:23:12 AM Cryoclaste
Is there an issue? Send a Message


# I will ''really'' make sure I'm recruiting the world's finest soldiers, [[Videogame/{{X-Com}} instead of soldiers who cannot hit an alien hostile ten feet away.]]

to:

# I will ''really'' make sure I'm recruiting the world's finest soldiers, [[Videogame/{{X-Com}} [[Videogame/{{XCom}} instead of soldiers who cannot hit an alien hostile ten feet away.]]



# I will issue Type IV body armour to combat personnel until and unless it is proven to be like unto paper against alien weaponry. If such proof arrives, I will immediately withdraw it from the combat teams, to be replaced with light anti-shrapnel armour and order development of armour that actually does work, [[{{X-Com}} using alien armour technology as a starting point]] if recovered examples prove resistant.

to:

# I will issue Type IV body armour to combat personnel until and unless it is proven to be like unto paper against alien weaponry. If such proof arrives, I will immediately withdraw it from the combat teams, to be replaced with light anti-shrapnel armour and order development of armour that actually does work, [[{{X-Com}} [[{{XCom}} using alien armour technology as a starting point]] if recovered examples prove resistant.



# If I ever run low on money, I will not [[{{X-COM}} sell recovered alien technology on the black market]]. [[Film/{{District 9}} Dealing with heavily armed mobsters along with the aliens might prove to be rather problematic.]]

to:

# If I ever run low on money, I will not [[{{X-COM}} [[{{XCOM}} sell recovered alien technology on the black market]]. [[Film/{{District 9}} Dealing with heavily armed mobsters along with the aliens might prove to be rather problematic.]]
23rd Apr '17 12:55:14 PM nombretomado
Is there an issue? Send a Message


# If I am operating in a universe with superheroes, or other [[TMNT2003 benevolent mutants]], I will not make it my open goal to capture them and cut them open ForScience.

to:

# If I am operating in a universe with superheroes, or other [[TMNT2003 [[WesternAnimation/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles2003 benevolent mutants]], I will not make it my open goal to capture them and cut them open ForScience.
21st Mar '17 2:36:56 PM MarqFJA
Is there an issue? Send a Message


'''Things to think about if I ever run a counter alien agency.''' [[note]]Works equally well for agencies dealing with supernatural, paranormal, superheroic, or other unusual threats.[[/note]]

to:

'''Things to think about if I ever run a counter alien counter-alien agency.''' [[note]]Works equally well for agencies dealing with supernatural, paranormal, superheroic, or other unusual threats.[[/note]]



* When considering all of the following advice I will hold one thing uppermost in my mind. If I have a choice between ignoring the advice or only following it half-heartedly (say for financial reasons) I will ignore it and ensure that I follow those that I can to the utmost.

to:

* When considering all of the following advice I will hold one thing uppermost in my mind. If I have a choice between ignoring the advice or only following it half-heartedly (say for financial reasons) reasons), I will ignore it and ensure that I follow those that I can to the utmost.
6th Mar '17 3:03:23 PM Wyldchyld
Is there an issue? Send a Message


# If aliens are kidnapping people and their explanation, when pressed, is that their [[WorldHalfEmpty race is dying]] or they are the [[LastOfHisKind Last of Their Kind]] [[MarsNeedsWomen and they need to breed with humans,]] [[MateOrDie In order to survive,]] and so they have been kidnapping and [[FaceFullOfAlienWingWong knocking up humans,]] then I will take this with a pinch of salt as even with [[HumanAliens convergent evolution]] any form of [[NoBiochemicalBarriers viable pregnancy or even sterile hybridisation seems unlikely.]] If this in fact turns out to be the truth, or if itís not but they [[GreenSpaceBabe just honestly find humans sexy]] [[BoldlyComing and want some fun]] [[OrangeAndBlueMorality but did not understand we would not approve of the kidnap]] [[DoubleStandardRapeSciFi as they would]] then I will stop the abductions and just recommend that they set up a website to recruit [[InterspeciesRomance like minded humans]] [[TheInternetIsForPorn via the internet]] safe in the knowledge that [[UglyCute no matter what the aliens look like]] or [[FetishFuel how they reproduce,]] [[RuleThirtyFour There will be no shortage of volunteers.]]

to:

# If aliens are kidnapping people and their explanation, when pressed, is that their [[WorldHalfEmpty race is dying]] or they are the [[LastOfHisKind Last of Their Kind]] [[MarsNeedsWomen and they need to breed with humans,]] [[MateOrDie In order to survive,]] and so they have been kidnapping and [[FaceFullOfAlienWingWong knocking up humans,]] then I will take this with a pinch of salt as even with [[HumanAliens convergent evolution]] any form of [[NoBiochemicalBarriers viable pregnancy or even sterile hybridisation seems unlikely.]] If this in fact turns out to be the truth, or if itís not but they [[GreenSpaceBabe just honestly find humans sexy]] [[BoldlyComing and want some fun]] [[OrangeAndBlueMorality but did not understand we would not approve of the kidnap]] [[DoubleStandardRapeSciFi as they would]] then I will stop the abductions and just recommend that they set up a website to recruit [[InterspeciesRomance like minded humans]] [[TheInternetIsForPorn via the internet]] safe in the knowledge that [[UglyCute no matter what the aliens look like]] or [[FetishFuel how they reproduce,]] [[RuleThirtyFour There reproduce, there will be no shortage of volunteers.]]
This list shows the last 10 events of 164. Show all.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=JustForFun.IfIAmEverHeadOfAnAlienMonitoringAgency