History JustForFun / IfIAmEverHeadOfAnAlienMonitoringAgency

4th Dec '16 6:56:22 PM BirdAlliance
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# I will make sure that in case of emergency, all the blast doors in my base will rapidly close down together at the same time instead of closing one by one. In this kind of situation, security is definitely more important than the RuleOfCool.
3rd Oct '16 5:19:37 PM MarkLungo
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** If it is ever either a necessity, or manifestly in earth’s best interests, [[CutLexLuthorACheck I will not be too proud to work with super villains]] [[EnemyMine against a greater enemy,]] however [[BetrayalInsurance I will act on the presumption that they are going to betray me,]] and will be prepared for this. Note: work with them against a common, [[SlidingScaleOfVillainThreat BIGGER enemy:]] If we find ourselves [[TheFarmerAndTheViper working alongside the Joker,]] to [[UltimateShowdownOfUltimateDestiny beat up E.T.]] we're doing something ''[[EpicFail wrong!]]''

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** If it is ever either a necessity, or manifestly in earth’s best interests, [[CutLexLuthorACheck I will not be too proud to work with super villains]] [[EnemyMine against a greater enemy,]] however enemy.]] However, [[BetrayalInsurance I will act on the presumption assume that they are going to betray me,]] and will be prepared for this. Note: work with them against a common, [[SlidingScaleOfVillainThreat BIGGER enemy:]] If we find ourselves [[TheFarmerAndTheViper working alongside the Joker,]] to [[UltimateShowdownOfUltimateDestiny beat up E.T.]] we're doing something ''[[EpicFail wrong!]]''
3rd Oct '16 4:34:56 PM DarthRevanFTW
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** If it is ever either a necessity, or manifestly in earth’s best interests, [[CutLexLuthorACheck I will not be too proud to work with super villains]] [[EnemyMine against a greater enemy,]] however [[ReliableTraitor I will act on the presumption that they are going to betray me,]] and will be prepared for this. Note: work with them against a common, [[SlidingScaleOfVillainThreat BIGGER enemy:]] If we find ourselves [[TheFarmerAndTheViper working alongside the Joker,]] to [[UltimateShowdownOfUltimateDestiny beat up E.T.]] we're doing something ''[[EpicFail wrong!]]''

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** If it is ever either a necessity, or manifestly in earth’s best interests, [[CutLexLuthorACheck I will not be too proud to work with super villains]] [[EnemyMine against a greater enemy,]] however [[ReliableTraitor [[BetrayalInsurance I will act on the presumption that they are going to betray me,]] and will be prepared for this. Note: work with them against a common, [[SlidingScaleOfVillainThreat BIGGER enemy:]] If we find ourselves [[TheFarmerAndTheViper working alongside the Joker,]] to [[UltimateShowdownOfUltimateDestiny beat up E.T.]] we're doing something ''[[EpicFail wrong!]]''
3rd Sep '16 9:16:29 PM ErikModi
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** I will however remember that even if crewed by a pacifistic and unarmed people, [[SuperweaponSurprise there is no such thing]] [[WeaponizedExhaust as an unarmed interstellar vessel]] [[KnownSpace and I will never presume a war against any race with them will be a pushover]] [[WarIsHell rather than a hard, bloody slog,]] [[LensmanArmsRace which could soon escalate to frankly ridiculous levels.]] Hell, I will never presume war with any Aliens, [[RockBeatsLaser even very primitive ones]] [[WarIsHell will be anything other than a hard, bloody slog]]. [[Film/{{Avatar}} Especially if they're blue.]]

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** I will however remember that even if crewed by a pacifistic and unarmed people, [[SuperweaponSurprise there is no such thing]] [[WeaponizedExhaust as an unarmed interstellar vessel]] [[KnownSpace and I will never presume a war against any race with them will be a pushover]] [[WarIsHell rather than a hard, bloody slog,]] [[LensmanArmsRace which could soon escalate to frankly ridiculous levels.]] Hell, I will never presume war with any Aliens, [[RockBeatsLaser even very primitive ones]] [[WarIsHell will be anything other than a hard, bloody slog]]. [[Film/{{Avatar}} Especially if they're blue.]] [[Franchise/StarWars Or furry.]]
3rd Sep '16 11:51:16 AM ErikModi
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# If the friendly and hugely powerful alien tells my organisation, more than once, that bullets are not the best way to deal with a problem, then I will have a team of competent planners come up with some less violent plans. (Or more violent plans, if that's what they meant - sometimes a tank round or missile is exactly what you need.)

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# If the friendly and hugely powerful alien tells my organisation, more than once, that [[FiveRoundsRapid bullets are not the best way to deal with a problem, problem]], then I will have a team of competent planners come up with some less violent plans. (Or more violent plans, if that's what they meant - sometimes a tank round or missile is exactly what you need.)
3rd Sep '16 10:53:23 AM ErikModi
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Added DiffLines:

*** The same rule applies to [[Franchise/DoctorWho The Doctor.]]
10th May '16 4:45:37 AM erforce
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** And it goes without saying that the entire running of my base, organization or the planet will not be [[Film/{{Terminator}} left solely to an AI or computer]]. Nor will all computer functions be left to a single super-computer: [[NoPlansNoPrototypeNoBackup I will have back ups.]]

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** And it goes without saying that the entire running of my base, organization or the planet will not be [[Film/{{Terminator}} [[Franchise/{{Terminator}} left solely to an AI or computer]]. Nor will all computer functions be left to a single super-computer: [[NoPlansNoPrototypeNoBackup I will have back ups.]]
22nd Mar '16 9:40:21 AM erforce
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# I will monitor [[FantasticRacism anti-alien sentiment]]. We don't want contact with a friendly species [[TheDayTheEarthStoodStill1951 ruined by someone on our planet.]]

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# I will monitor [[FantasticRacism anti-alien sentiment]]. We don't want contact with a friendly species [[TheDayTheEarthStoodStill1951 [[Film/TheDayTheEarthStoodStill1951 ruined by someone on our planet.]]
21st Feb '16 9:52:49 AM nombretomado
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# I will keep in mind that even if the enemy forces consist of giant, menacing space vessels that earth maintains a highly skilled and expedient air force and I will make judicious use of it. Very few things in the universe can survive sustained fire from fighter jets and bombers. I will not leave stopping a fully armed alien invasion to [[Film/TheAvengers a small group of paranormal individuals to defend a fully populated city when I can explicitly have air forces in the area in less than a minute]].

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# I will keep in mind that even if the enemy forces consist of giant, menacing space vessels that earth maintains a highly skilled and expedient air force and I will make judicious use of it. Very few things in the universe can survive sustained fire from fighter jets and bombers. I will not leave stopping a fully armed alien invasion to [[Film/TheAvengers [[Film/TheAvengers2012 a small group of paranormal individuals to defend a fully populated city when I can explicitly have air forces in the area in less than a minute]].
5th Feb '16 10:32:57 AM Morgenthaler
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# If I have a scanning device that can detect my enemies, any evident malfunction will not be ignored, and [[BarbWire the subject of the scan will be put in security until a new scanner is available]].

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# If I have a scanning device that can detect my enemies, any evident malfunction will not be ignored, and [[BarbWire [[Film/BarbWire the subject of the scan will be put in security until a new scanner is available]].
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