History JustForFun / HowToSurviveAWarMovie

12th Aug '16 8:24:36 PM nombretomado
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** If I'm assigned under a Lt. [[TheNeidermeyer Neidermeyer]] or CaptainQueeg, I will kill myself because they are a karmic black hole whose very existence guarantees we will all die. Alternately, especially if their name actually is Neidermeyer, I will [[AnimalHouse frag]] them at the first opportunity.

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** If I'm assigned under a Lt. [[TheNeidermeyer Neidermeyer]] or CaptainQueeg, I will kill myself because they are a karmic black hole whose very existence guarantees we will all die. Alternately, especially if their name actually is Neidermeyer, I will [[AnimalHouse [[Film/AnimalHouse frag]] them at the first opportunity.
20th Jul '16 8:15:26 AM vtarira
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** If I am the only woman around, I will make sure to be an ActionGirl. Civilian women in combat zones tend to become [[WarIsHell aesop-related]] collateral damage. I will also, however, invest in military-grade [[VasquezAlwaysDies makeup and hairstyling tools]].

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** If I am the only woman around, I will make sure to be an ActionGirl. Civilian women in combat zones tend to become [[WarIsHell aesop-related]] collateral damage. (Though I will also, however, of course, invest in military-grade [[VasquezAlwaysDies makeup and hairstyling tools]].)


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* I will be [[BoisterousBruiser jovial, eager for a fight, and as large and muscular as possible]], which should guarantee that I am either the protagonist or a sufficiently tertiary character that my death would have no dramatic resonance.
19th Jul '16 7:09:23 PM vtarira
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** If I have no choice but to join a squad made up primarily of members of another ethnicity, I will make sure it also contains either a [[MentorOccupationalHazard mentor figure]] or a good-natured yet [[RecklessSidekick reckless best friend]] type who will be [[SortingAlgorithmOfMortality even more likely]] to meet an untimely end.


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** If I'm low-ranking, but absolutely [[MookFaceTurn have to switch sides]], I will be sure to make my escape with some key piece of intelligence that my superiors have [[BeneathSuspicion left freely available to me]].


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** If I am the only woman around, I will make sure to be an ActionGirl. Civilian women in combat zones tend to become [[WarIsHell aesop-related]] collateral damage. I will also, however, invest in military-grade [[VasquezAlwaysDies makeup and hairstyling tools]].


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* I will stay out of tank crews. Everyone knows tanks are [[InsertGrenadeHere the most vulnerable unit]] on any battlefield.
9th Jul '16 11:05:51 AM Morgenthaler
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** If I am approached by a [[NewMeat new recruit]] in search of a [[TheObiWan mentor figure]], I will point him at someone I won't mind terribly seeing die in a messy or disturbing way.

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** If I am approached by a [[NewMeat new recruit]] in search of a [[TheObiWan [[TheMentor mentor figure]], I will point him at someone I won't mind terribly seeing die in a messy or disturbing way.
28th Jun '16 7:22:12 AM cdrood
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* I will encourage my girlfriend/wife to marry/remarry if I'm ever reported Missing or Presumed Dead. If I have a life long best friend, I'll be sure to introduce him to my girlfriend/wife.
9th Apr '16 10:52:51 AM Morgenthaler
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** Especially if the helmet [[SavingPrivateRyan just stopped a bullet from going through my head]].

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** Especially if the helmet [[SavingPrivateRyan [[Film/SavingPrivateRyan just stopped a bullet from going through my head]].



* If I am a sniper, I will change my firing position frequently and I will never ever ever [[SavingPrivateRyan sit in a bell tower]] or any other place with only one way down.

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* If I am a sniper, I will change my firing position frequently and I will never ever ever [[SavingPrivateRyan [[Film/SavingPrivateRyan sit in a bell tower]] or any other place with only one way down.
5th Mar '16 10:39:39 AM nombretomado
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* If my brother or best friend tells me he's just signed up for the military because there is a war on, even though I may be tempted to join the military myself, I will instead sign up for a stateside job making rifles, bullets, first-aid supplies, or something else that's usually in short supply during a war, but under no circumastances will I sign up on my own. If drafted, I will not request to be transferred to my brother's unit.
** ...Unless, of course, you ARE the [[DeathByOriginStory brother/bestfriend.]] Then just make sure they don't get [[CaptainAmerica super-powers or something]].

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* If my brother or best friend tells me he's just signed up for the military because there is a war on, even though I may be tempted to join the military myself, I will instead sign up for a stateside job making rifles, bullets, first-aid supplies, or something else that's usually in short supply during a war, but under no circumastances circumstances will I sign up on my own. If drafted, I will not request to be transferred to my brother's unit.
** ...Unless, of course, you ARE the [[DeathByOriginStory brother/bestfriend.]] Then just make sure they don't get [[CaptainAmerica [[ComicBook/CaptainAmerica super-powers or something]].
4th Jan '16 2:32:43 PM nombretomado
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* If I am an Aristocratic Austrian ShellShockedVeteran married to a ManicPixieDreamGirl and I am [[TheSoundOfMusic offered command of a Nazi submarine]] I will stop to win a singing contest before running to Switzerland. Getting the help of my wife's nun buddies will also be a good idea.

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* If I am an Aristocratic Austrian ShellShockedVeteran married to a ManicPixieDreamGirl and I am [[TheSoundOfMusic [[Theatre/TheSoundOfMusic offered command of a Nazi submarine]] I will stop to win a singing contest before running to Switzerland. Getting the help of my wife's nun buddies will also be a good idea.
22nd Nov '15 5:59:19 PM nombretomado
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** Unless the LegionsOfHell [[TheSalvationWar march in large formation wielding bronze weaponry]], in which case the only claymore I'm going to use is claymore mines. Lots and lots of them.

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** Unless the LegionsOfHell [[TheSalvationWar [[Literature/TheSalvationWar march in large formation wielding bronze weaponry]], in which case the only claymore I'm going to use is claymore mines. Lots and lots of them.
5th Jul '15 3:09:48 PM Morgenthaler
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** And if I am in charge of a British force, I will - to the best of my ability - ''try'' not to put aside my [[StiffUpperLip British]] OfficerAndAGentleman stick, ''try'' [[ThePatriot to look past my prejudice against the Americans' fighting prowess]] and ''try'' to be more competent than my American counterpart - it will not only ''not'' get me killed, but I will damn well win, too ([[FailureIsTheOnlyOption or at least come as close to winning as possible]]).

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** And if I am in charge of a British force, I will - to the best of my ability - ''try'' not to put aside my [[StiffUpperLip British]] OfficerAndAGentleman stick, ''try'' [[ThePatriot [[Film/ThePatriot to look past my prejudice against the Americans' fighting prowess]] and ''try'' to be more competent than my American counterpart - it will not only ''not'' get me killed, but I will damn well win, too ([[FailureIsTheOnlyOption or at least come as close to winning as possible]]).
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