History Headscratchers / Deadpool

*** AWizardDidIt.

** Probably because Deadpool would wipe the floor with the Joker ten times over. I mean, Deadpool hate clowns, the Joker sucks against non-serious heroes, Deadpool has a healing factor, fighting skills to rival Batman, and use guns, whereas the Joker's just a normal dude who has white skin.

** Wasn't Bowie the one who stole his comfortable [[http://www.comicbookresources.com/images/previews/marvelcomics/deadpool/4/DPOOL004002.jpg plastic explosive chair]]? Then again it might've been Weasel...

!!Other ''Deadpool'' Headscratcher pages
* See [[Headscratcher/Deadpool2016 here]] for the film ''{{Film/Deadpool|2016}}''
* See [[Headscratcher/Deadpool2 here]] for the film ''Film/Deadpool2''
* See [[Headscratcher/Deadpool2013 here]] for the video game ''VideoGame/Deadpool2013''
* See [[Headscratcher/CableAndDeadpool here]] for ''ComicBook/CableAndDeadpool''
* See [[Headscratcher/DeadpoolKillsTheMarvelUniverse here]] for ''ComicBook/DeadpoolKillsTheMarvelUniverse''

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%% Please do NOT add examples in first person. This is a subpage, not the Self-Demonstrating page.
%%

! [[evil:In need of [[https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/posts.php?discussion=15896392330A87518900&page=1 de-self-demonstration]].]]

* I know that it's a neat skill and all but sometimes I really do wonder how I can [[MediumAwareness see past]] the FourthWall.
** You're just that cool.

*** No. I go with the Top Guy, He did say I was Cool.
** Maybe because RealLife is actually a delusion in your mind, and the Marvel Universe is real.
** Or maybe you're just insane, and the fourth wall breaking thing just happens to be right.
** What if you're actually a mutant with the power of super-clairvoyance? Your X-factor only came into effect [[BodyHorror when you got that horrible cancer.]]
* When are they ever going to give me the Crossover made in Geek heaven: Me vs. ComicBook/TheJoker?
** Probably because you would wipe the floor with that guy ten times over. I mean, you hate clowns, he sucks against non-serious heroes, you have healing factor and fighting skills to rival Batman and use guns, whereas he's just a normal dude who has white skin.
* How come, in Daniel Way's run, in the X-Men story arc, I swim over to San Francisco and act like I've never been there before and perpetuate an offensive stereotype when, in Joe Kelly's run, San Francisco is where I LIVED?
** Maybe we forgot we lived there? The upstairs attic's kind of like one of those weird thingies with the walls that keep changing around where David Bowie's prancing around in tights that make me swell with admiration and envy...
** Wasn't Bowie the one who stole our comfortable [[http://www.comicbookresources.com/images/previews/marvelcomics/deadpool/4/DPOOL004002.jpg plastic explosive chair]]? Then again it might've been Weasel...
* I'm totally stoked that I'm kinda-sorta an X-Man now, but my yellow boxes keep telling me I'm ''not'' a mutant. Can someone es'plain ''why'' I'm an X-Man so they'll shut up and lemme alone? My chimichangas are getting cold!
** Well, Juggernaut's no mutant either, and he's been in both the X-Men and the Brotherhood of ''Mutants''. He just uses a [[VideoGame/SonicTheHedgehog Chaos Emerald]] thingy. So maybe you two need to get together and start the '''XY-Men''' or something. It could double as a woman-hater's club (but the straight kind).

*** the first non-founding member of the X-men was Mimic a fellow mutate and he was created by Stan Lee. Which shows that even In the beginning the X-men weren't to picky about their members species.
*** Which makes sense when you think about it: the entire point of the X-Men is to ''end'' human (or, mutate) vs mutant racism. Just like why [[ComicBook/IronMan Shellhead]] liked when ComicBook/{{Magneto}}'s [[ComicBook/{{Quicksilver}} ki]][[ComicBook/ScarletWitch ds]] wanted to join [[Franchise/TheAvengers the super-hero boy band.]]
* Where the minty-fresh hell did this sudden "split personality between my outside voice, a yellow text box and a white text box" thing come from? Did Daniel Way even know about me before he started writing me?

* Why is ''ComicBook/CableAndDeadpool'' so out of continuity? After the series ended, Cable lost all of his cool powers, I dropped my [[HeroWithAnFInGood quest for good]], Agency X is almost nowhere to be found, I don't even have an apartment... Fuck, what ''happened''?

* How can I make myself killed?
** [[AWizardDidIt Magic?]]
*** Or maybe you can convince Thanos to get rid of your immortality. Or you can take it up with Doctor Strange.
** Make yourself [[TheScrappy completely unpopular]], and we won't let you come back from death.
* How come, in the miniseries Wade Wilson's War, Flashback!Me was shown in Spider-man undies, when Spider-man did not exist yet?
** What do you mean, "didn't exist"? He's been in comics way longer than you. Did you think the fourth wall would get in the way or something?
* Come to think of it, why do I still have a deathwish? I mean, there are multiple ways to kill me, despite my regenerative abilities. Exacerbated in the Dead storyline which featured Daken, a character ''dying in his series, despite his healing factor!'' Not to mention the Muramasa owned by my ''teammate'' Wolverine, '''which he used to kill Sabretooth!''' If I ''really'' wanted to die, I would've done it by now.
** Dude, we can't die. Thanos cursed us to never die because we're in love with Death, and Thanos was jealous.
*** But 1) Thanos is dead and/or trapped in another dimension and 2) Evil Deadpool (think of a clone, but more disgusting) was killed. One would assume the curse would've also worked on him because he technically was me.

* So, am I talking to myself here, or what?
** [[BluntYes Yes]].
** No.
** Maybe.
** [[Music/TheyMightBeGiants I don't know.]] [[Series/MalcolmInTheMiddle Can you repeat the question?]]
* Have the readers ever been subjected to how nasty our faces really are?

* At the end of the ''Agent X'' series Alex Hayden, AKA Agent X (duh) got cured of his irrational hatred for me (as if there are rational reasons to hate someone as awesome as me), as well as getting rid of that X-shaped scar on his face. Then we went on a road trip together, with plenty of pictures to show how buddy-buddy we were. Then, in ''Cable & Deadpool'' the guy is back, with the scar and trying to kill me! What's up with that?
** Maybe he copped the same 'undo' curse that seems to follow us around. Remember how Cable kinda fixed our brain?

*** Oh, and the number of times our healing factor has been screwed around with? I'll bet good money that tub o' guts will show up skinny again with no explanation.
* Why don't I get that one mutant Elixer to fix my cancer?

** That and the whole "your healing factor is supercharged and kills anyone without cancer" i.e. what happened to those Skrull chumps that copied you?

** I did do that in the 3rd volume of Deadpool Team Up to save Hellcow.
* Say I wonder if they room for my game for this page. Not that I've done anything wrong in my game, you can blamed High Moon Studios if they is.
* Shouldn't my fourth-wall breaking abilities mean I know everyone's greatest secrets? Hell, doesn't it technically make me like a low-level telepath, since I can see everyone's thought bubbles?
** I think it confuses you too much. Sure, you think you know who Spider-Man is, it's that dreamy TobeyMcGuire...
* I forget, was I ''always'' this crazy, or is that from the Weapon X experiments?

* Why does nobody like me for using lethal force when everyone always forgives Jean "genocidal periods" Grey? Seriously.

* Okay, so in my game, if Cable is just SO concerned about this dire future crap, why doesn't he just get someone else to do it? Like [[ComicBook/SpiderMan Spidey]] or something? I don't know!
** 1) Cable's my buddy 2) It's my freakin' game.
* Why is my daughter, Eleanor, only a little girl? She was conceived in the 70s!

* Since I'm so ugly, how do I manage to attract so many ladies?
** Same reason as Roger Rabbit-you're funny.
*** Wait, why did I call myself ugly?

* Do I ''know'' I'm a comic book character, or do I just believe it?

* You know, given that Madcap was the voice in my head (My white textbox) Why would Madcap was acting out my non-insane part?

* Could Deadpool use his fourth wall-breaking powers to go back and forwards and time? He could visit previous or future panels in the comic, and have CrazyAwesome fun with his past/future selves

* Why exactly did they have to [[InNameOnly so radically change]] me for the movie? What was the logic behind it?
** Just to piss you off. Yes, ''you'' specifically.\\\
Seriously, though, don't think of it as a movie that features you, because it isn't. It's your ''backstory''; you know, the genetic and mental experiments that leave you the lunatic that we're all familiar with. The reason you are "InNameOnly" is because you are ''not Deadpool yet''.
*** If that's the case, then where the fuck is the movie you say they're setting up already?
*** Ah, I was considering pulling their entrails out but... guess that explains a bit. Just a bit. Still considering. Though my real origin is Marvel's lawyers telling [[Creator/RobLiefeld Rob]] he couldn't draw Deathstroke.
*** I'm not sure that would make a good movie though...
*** ''I'' thought we were bitten by a radioactive mercenary.

* Why do fans forget that Fabian Nicieza guy? He co-created me and made Rob's old comics tolerable. He also wrote my first two miniseries and created my lovable HeterosexualLifePartner Weasel. In fact, he wrote one of my last series where I get ComicBook/{{Cable}} as a sidekick or something. Where's the love? I existed before Joe Kelly, people.
** Not to mention that Nicieza's ''Cable & Deadpool'' is probably responsible for most of 'Pool's memetic status (aside from the [[VideoGame/StreetFighterII Shoryuken]]. That was Kelly.)

* How come ol' Daniel Way's main Deadpool title is so divisive? His stories are actually fun and focus on action, awesomeness, and hilarity!
** Maybe it's because those comic nerds prefer the runs Fabian Nicieza, Joe Kelly, or Gail Simone did on us?
** Oh right! Gail was the one who let me tell the story of [[http://www.myconfinedspace.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/deadpool-peanut-love.jpg peanut love]] to Taskmaster.
** And Nicieza had the X-Men have a [[http://www.4thletter.net/gavok/deadpool/64.jpg telepathic party]] in my head back in me & Cable's 8th issue. Man, I love being an X-Men. Or X-Man. Whatever Marvel's calling it this week.
** Might be 'cause he writes us with a cheap, not-very-clever sense of humor. I'm supposed to be ''actually'' funny, damnit!

* Does anybody else think that this whole first-person thing has become really, really obnoxious?
** No.
** '''Yes.'''
*** Shut up, Deadpool! ...Wait, ''I'm'' Deadpool!

* Am I ever getting a crossover with Franchise/{{Batman}}?
** No, now stop asking!
*** Maybe [[WebVideo/ImAMarvelAndImADC RandomGuy]] can do it...

* Aren't you even a bit disturbed by the realisation that you're a fictional character? You can't even think without writers putting your thoughts down, your entire multiverse is under the thrall of guys who want entertainment...you should've GoneMadFromTheRevelation in [[DespairEventHorizon a much different way.]]
** Why do you think Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe exists?
* Sooooo...is my solo movie officially cancelled now?
** Nah. Those nerdy execs are just taking their time.
*** Note to self: send them the same little "surprise" I sent High Moon for my game. 'Cuz I need movie redemption like Robin!
** Good news! The nerds say the big screen will have my beautiful features in 2016. And if they don't... I can always go have a nice ''chat'' with them later...

* Just who the hell are all these people pretending to be me here anyway?
** [[MindScrew They are you.]]

* Will my awesomeness ever run out?

* What's with the weak ass Rogue gallery? When Marvel has to call Flag-Smasher out of retirement for you isn't it sign you should try starting a new vendetta with someone of your own recurring crew?
** Having a recurring villain of our own means someone we didn't just kill the first time. We're just too good at killing for that.

* Okay, so in my game, if Cable is just SO concerned about this dire future crap, why doesn't he just get someone else to do it? Like [[SpiderMan Spidey]] or something? I don't know!

** Well, Juggernaut's no mutant either, and he's been in both the X-Men and the Brotherhood of ''Mutants''. He just uses a [[SonicTheHedgehog Chaos Emerald]] thingy. So maybe you two need to get together and start the '''XY-Men''' or something. It could double as a woman-hater's club (but the straight kind).

* How come ol' Daniel Way's main Deadpool title is so LoveItOrHateIt? His stories are actually fun and focus on action, awesomeness, and hilarity!

* When are they ever going to give me the Crossover made in Geek heaven: Me vs. SelfDemonstrating/TheJoker?

*** Maybe [[ImAMarvelAndImADC RandomGuy]] can do it...

*** Which makes sense when you think about it: the entire point of the X-Men is to ''end'' human (or, mutate) vs mutant racism. Just like why [[ComicBook/IronMan Shellhead]] liked when {{Magneto}}'s [[ComicBook/{{Quicksilver}} ki]][[ComicBook/ScarletWitch ds]] wanted to join [[Franchise/TheAvengers the super-hero boy band.]]

*** Ah, I was considering pulling their entrails out but... guess that explains a bit. Just a bit. Still considering. Though my real origin is Marvel's lawyers telling [[RobLiefeld Rob]] he couldn't draw Deathstroke.

**** Which makes sense when you think about it: the entire point of the X-Men is to ''end'' human (or, mutate) vs mutant racism. Just like why [[ComicBook/IronMan Shellhead]] liked when {{Magneto}}'s [[{{Quicksilver}} ki]][[ScarletWitch ds]] wanted to join [[Franchise/TheAvengers the super-hero boy band.]]

** Same reason as Roger Rabbit-you're funny