History GroinAttack / RealLife

16th Sep '17 4:25:36 PM nombretomado
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* Sam Houston took an arrow in the groin at the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Horseshoe_Bend Battle of Horseshoe Bend]], the injury keeping him out of the rest of the WarOf1812. The Creator/EricFlint AlternateHistory novel ''[[Literature/TrailOfGlory The Rivers of War]]'' changed this as the point of departure from our universe, the arrow only nicking his outer thigh, after slipping on a dirt mound, leaving Ensign Houston available during the War of 1812 to rally the defenders of Washington, DC (much to the despair of Francis Scott Key).

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* Sam Houston took an arrow in the groin at the [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Horseshoe_Bend Battle of Horseshoe Bend]], the injury keeping him out of the rest of the WarOf1812.UsefulNotes/WarOf1812. The Creator/EricFlint AlternateHistory novel ''[[Literature/TrailOfGlory The Rivers of War]]'' changed this as the point of departure from our universe, the arrow only nicking his outer thigh, after slipping on a dirt mound, leaving Ensign Houston available during the War of 1812 to rally the defenders of Washington, DC (much to the despair of Francis Scott Key).
15th Sep '17 9:03:27 PM Snowsky
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** A drunken man once tried to have sex with a raccoon. Let's say ''teeth'' were involved.

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** A drunken man once [[BestialityIsDepraved tried to have sex with a raccoon. raccoon.]] Let's say ''teeth'' were involved.
25th Aug '17 6:53:56 PM nombretomado
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** The ''[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skoptsy Skoptzy]]'', on account of the same verse than Origen, in [[UsefulNotes/TsaristRussia Imperial]] and later {{Soviet Russia|UkraineAndSoOn}}, from 1750s to 1970s, though castration generally stopped [=and/or=] reduced after the 1910s.

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** The ''[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skoptsy Skoptzy]]'', on account of the same verse than Origen, in [[UsefulNotes/TsaristRussia Imperial]] and later {{Soviet UsefulNotes/{{Soviet Russia|UkraineAndSoOn}}, from 1750s to 1970s, though castration generally stopped [=and/or=] reduced after the 1910s.
10th Jun '17 3:14:11 PM thatsnumberwang
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** A fair analysis of why this view is held would point to just how much of a larger target the testicles are in comparison to the vagina and thus any impact that would be a mere glancing blow to a woman is frequently a full on strike to a man. The vagina also has far greater protection from being grabbed or squeezed, making such an attack very unlikely.

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** A fair analysis of why this view is held would point to just how much of a larger target the testicles are in comparison to the vagina and thus any impact many impacts that would otherwise be a mere glancing blow to a woman is frequently a full on strike to a man. The vagina also has far greater protection from being grabbed or squeezed, making such an attack very unlikely.limiting the variety of ways that she can be attacked in comparison to him.
10th Jun '17 3:07:11 PM thatsnumberwang
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Added DiffLines:

** A fair analysis of why this view is held would point to just how much of a larger target the testicles are in comparison to the vagina and thus any impact that would be a mere glancing blow to a woman is frequently a full on strike to a man. The vagina also has far greater protection from being grabbed or squeezed, making such an attack very unlikely.
6th Jun '17 4:31:00 PM Ferot_Dreadnaught
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* According to an {{Urban Legend|s}}, an old martial artist challenged a roomful of martial arts masters to knock him down. One by one they tried and were countered. Then Creator/BruceLee stepped forward and kicked him in the balls. [[note]]Realistically, martial arts are probably GenreSavvy enough to have some training against this potentiality)[[/note]]

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* According to an {{Urban Legend|s}}, an old martial artist challenged a roomful of martial arts masters to knock him down. One by one they tried and were countered. Then Creator/BruceLee stepped forward and kicked him in the balls. [[note]]Realistically, martial arts are probably GenreSavvy enough to have some training against this potentiality)[[/note]]
19th May '17 10:58:02 PM nombretomado
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** 2015 saw Oakland Athletics outfielder Billy Burns foul a pitch off the dirt, which promptly bounced up between his legs and him directly in the pills. (Some baseball players, outfielders in particular, are known not to wear cups.) He actually finished the at-bat but later had to leave the game due to a "testicular contusion" (or in layman's terms, a ''bruised testicle'') - and, yes, those ExactWords were the official report used by the team, which the announcer for the Athletics was forced to read on-air. The injury (not to mention [[ExpospeakGag technical]] and [[TooMuchInformation extremely revealing]] nature of the verbiage used to describe it) promptly made Billy Burns a top trend on {{Twitter}}... [[SarcasmMode which must have been a huge consolation after getting his eggs scrambled.]]

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** 2015 saw Oakland Athletics outfielder Billy Burns foul a pitch off the dirt, which promptly bounced up between his legs and him directly in the pills. (Some baseball players, outfielders in particular, are known not to wear cups.) He actually finished the at-bat but later had to leave the game due to a "testicular contusion" (or in layman's terms, a ''bruised testicle'') - and, yes, those ExactWords were the official report used by the team, which the announcer for the Athletics was forced to read on-air. The injury (not to mention [[ExpospeakGag technical]] and [[TooMuchInformation extremely revealing]] nature of the verbiage used to describe it) promptly made Billy Burns a top trend on {{Twitter}}...Website/{{Twitter}}... [[SarcasmMode which must have been a huge consolation after getting his eggs scrambled.]]
16th May '17 9:41:38 AM nombretomado
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** The ''[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skoptsy Skoptzy]]'', on account of the same verse than Origen, in [[TsaristRussia Imperial]] and later {{Soviet Russia|UkraineAndSoOn}}, from 1750s to 1970s, though castration generally stopped [=and/or=] reduced after the 1910s.

to:

** The ''[[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skoptsy Skoptzy]]'', on account of the same verse than Origen, in [[TsaristRussia [[UsefulNotes/TsaristRussia Imperial]] and later {{Soviet Russia|UkraineAndSoOn}}, from 1750s to 1970s, though castration generally stopped [=and/or=] reduced after the 1910s.
3rd May '17 4:27:54 AM Luigifan
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** Another version of the story said that he'd raped and beaten her regularly throughout their marriage -- it was his raping her ''anally'' that precipitated the attack.

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** Another version of the story said that [[MaritalRapeLicense he'd raped and beaten her regularly throughout their marriage marriage]] -- it was his raping her ''anally'' that precipitated the attack.



** The fish is real, and is attracted to urea because freshwater fish excrete small amounts of this substance via their gills, where the candiru wants to go. The part about them defying gravity to swim up a stream of urine and attack a guy who's only ''whizzing'' in the river is what's an urban legend - if a person's groin is below water-level at the time they urinate, it's fair-game.
** Thankfully, it has been repeatedly proven that the candiru is not attracted to urea - in fact, it cannot detect urea at all. As noted, fluid dynamics also make it impossible for the fish to "travel up a stream" of urine. Moreover, the only documented case of a candiru being lodged anywhere (in the case it was a male urethra) is widely considered to be a hoax if for no other reason than the fish being to large to have gotten as far in without outside forces.
* During WWII, Major William Fairbairn, who trained many special forces operatives for the Allies, was widely reputed to have a strong distaste for "fighting fair". Supposedly, when explaining the best way to take a man out in a given circumstance, the last step was always "And then kick him in the testicles". As in warfare it's very often "kill or be killed", military hand to hand combat training usually has not much room for fair fighting, so groin attacks are rather common.

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** The fish is real, and is attracted to urea because freshwater fish excrete small amounts of this substance via their gills, where the candiru wants to go. The part about them defying gravity to swim up a stream of urine and attack a guy who's only ''whizzing'' in the river is what's an urban legend - -- if a person's groin is below water-level at the time they urinate, it's fair-game.
** Thankfully, it has been repeatedly proven that the candiru is not attracted to urea - -- in fact, it cannot detect urea at all. As noted, fluid dynamics also make it impossible for the fish to "travel up a stream" of urine. Moreover, the only documented case of a candiru being lodged anywhere (in the case it was a male urethra) is widely considered to be a hoax if for no other reason than the fish being to too large to have gotten as far in without outside forces.
* During WWII, Major William Fairbairn, who trained many special forces operatives for the Allies, was widely reputed to have a strong distaste for "fighting fair". Supposedly, when explaining the best way to take a man out in a given circumstance, the last step was always "And then kick him in the testicles". As in warfare it's very often "kill or be killed", military hand to hand hand-to-hand combat training usually has not much room for fair fighting, so groin attacks are rather common.



* Riddick Bowe vs. Andrew Golota I & II - [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riddick_Bowe_vs._Andrew_Golota Riddick Bowe fought what was supposed to be a tuneup fight with the undefeated Polish heavyweight Andrew Golota in 1996, while waiting on an agreed upon fight with Lennox Lewis.]] He ended up getting out boxed by Golota for almost the entire fight, only to win when Golota was disqualified for repeated wicked low blows that at times left Bowe on the canvas in agony. They fought a rematch after Bowe lost the right to fight Lewis only to have Golota once again be disqualified for low blows, giving Bowe yet another pyrrhic victory. This would signal the end of Bowe's career at the age of 29, while Golota would go on to get his fight against Lewis only to be knocked out in the first round.

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* Riddick Bowe vs. Andrew Golota I & II - -- [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Riddick_Bowe_vs._Andrew_Golota Riddick Bowe fought what was supposed to be a tuneup fight with the undefeated Polish heavyweight Andrew Golota in 1996, while waiting on an agreed upon fight with Lennox Lewis.]] He ended up getting out boxed out-boxed by Golota for almost the entire fight, only to win when Golota was disqualified for repeated wicked low blows that at times left Bowe on the canvas in agony. They fought a rematch after Bowe lost the right to fight Lewis Lewis, only to have Golota once again be disqualified for low blows, giving Bowe yet another pyrrhic victory. This would signal the end of Bowe's career at the age of 29, while Golota would go on to get his fight against Lewis Lewis, only to be knocked out in the first round.



* During the Battle of Stamford Bridge (1066), a lone Viking berserker stood on said bridge and held off the entire Saxon army for an hour. The berserker was finally killed when a quick thinking Saxon soldier floated under the bridge in a barrel and shoved a spear through his groin from below.

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* During the Battle of Stamford Bridge (1066), a lone Viking berserker stood on said bridge and held off the entire Saxon army for an hour. The berserker was finally killed when a quick thinking quick-thinking Saxon soldier floated under the bridge in a barrel and shoved a spear through his groin from below.



* TomGreen essentially sees the time he had cancer as this (since it was in cancer in that particular area).

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* TomGreen essentially sees the time he had cancer as this (since it was in cancer in that particular area).



* DoubleSubversion with parachuting. An opening and developing canopy will jerk the skydiver upwards (actually it is sudden deceleration of the free fall, not an actual upwards jerk), resulting on sudden strain on leg harness. Let's say [[FridgeHorror it is nasty enough with a correctly packed parachute and to women]]. Bruises are commonplace. More serious injuries can result if the parachute has been packed incorrectly and the opening is not smooth but sudden and/or violent.

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* DoubleSubversion with parachuting. An opening and developing canopy will jerk the skydiver upwards (actually it is sudden deceleration of the free fall, not an actual upwards jerk), resulting on in a sudden strain on the leg harness. Let's say [[FridgeHorror it is nasty enough with a correctly packed parachute and to women]]. Bruises are commonplace. More serious injuries can result if the parachute has been packed incorrectly and the opening is not smooth but sudden and/or violent.



* Rabbits also target their rivals tender portions when they fight. Territorial does do this when they don't want to make more little rabbits. To make matters worse, these fights usually end with said unfortunate bunny issuing the dreaded "rabbit scream."

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* Rabbits also target their rivals rivals' tender portions when they fight. Territorial does do this when they don't want to make more little rabbits. To make matters worse, these fights usually end with said unfortunate bunny issuing the dreaded "rabbit scream."



* The GroinAttack was the favorite duelling tactic of count Fyodor "The American" Tolstoy, famous Russian adventurer and duelist of the XIX century. In his numerous duels Tolstoy, a crack shot, usually aimed for the opponent's groin, reasoning that "There won't be a sin of murder on my soul, and he won't be breeding any more fools". At least one his opponent - Naryshkin - died from the groin shot anyway.

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* The GroinAttack was the favorite duelling tactic of count Fyodor "The American" Tolstoy, famous Russian adventurer and duelist of the XIX century. In his numerous duels duels, Tolstoy, a crack shot, usually aimed for the opponent's groin, reasoning that "There won't be a sin of murder on my soul, and he won't be breeding any more fools". At least one of his opponent - opponents -- Naryshkin - -- died from the groin shot anyway.



* Adam Lambert took one of these at the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bx_WmUlNil8 Manila performance]] of his [=GlamNation=] tour. During the dancers' intros he dirty-dances with his choreographer, who at this particular show tried to counter a hip-thrust with a butt-bump at exactly the wrong time and got The Glam One right where it hurts. Check it out at 8:23 and onward. (This Glambert can't help laughing at his reaction every single time . . . even though it really shouldn't be funny.)
* Many self-defense classes suggest kicking an attacker in the balls then running while he's still in shock.

to:

* Adam Lambert took one of these at the [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bx_WmUlNil8 Manila performance]] of his [=GlamNation=] tour. During the dancers' intros intros, he dirty-dances with his choreographer, who at this particular show tried to counter a hip-thrust with a butt-bump at exactly the wrong time and got The Glam One right where it hurts. Check it out at 8:23 and onward. (This Glambert can't help laughing at his reaction every single time . . .time... even though it really shouldn't be funny.)
* Many self-defense classes suggest kicking an attacker in the balls balls, then running while he's still in shock.



** Some more [[Heartwarming/RealLife heartwarming]], Germany in late 2016 has recognised male circumcision for what it really is - Male Genital Mutilation, and banned the practice entirely, bringing equality back (formerly, only FGM was banned). Only in very, ''very'' rare medical cases is the procedure still allowed and even then it's difficult to get permission.
* Giving birth can result in extremely nasty tears around the vagina (compared to our closest relatives our adults have narrow pelvises and our babies ''very'' big heads; you do the math's). Until Penicillin V became available there in the mid-1950s, in Europe the death-rate for giving birth was 15% owing largely to gangrene (childbed/puerperal fever) - the current European death-rate being less than 0.01%. Of course, the normal/old death-rate remains in some of the least economically-developed parts of the world where antibiotics are still an expensive rarity.
* Worryingly enough, a GroinAttack can occur more or less spontaneously and without warning. It's called a testicular torsion and is what happens when a testicle twists around a bit too far and cuts off its own blood supply. Not only is it very painful, but the testicle must be untwisted within a few hours or it will die - which, if it wasn't enough for ya, will result in gangrene if it's not promptly removed.

to:

** Some more [[Heartwarming/RealLife heartwarming]], Germany in late 2016 has recognised male circumcision for what it really is - -- Male Genital Mutilation, and banned the practice entirely, bringing equality back (formerly, only FGM was banned). Only in very, ''very'' rare medical cases is the procedure still allowed and even then it's difficult to get permission.
permission. No word yet on what the Jews think of this.
* Giving birth can result in extremely nasty tears around the vagina (compared to our closest relatives our adults have narrow pelvises and our babies ''very'' big heads; you do the math's). math). Until Penicillin V became available there in the mid-1950s, in Europe the death-rate [[DeathByChildbirth for giving birth birth]] was 15% owing largely to gangrene (childbed/puerperal fever) - -- the current European death-rate being less than 0.01%. Of course, the normal/old death-rate remains in some of the least economically-developed parts of the world where antibiotics are still an expensive rarity.
* Worryingly enough, a GroinAttack can occur more or less spontaneously and without warning. It's called a testicular torsion and is what happens when a testicle twists around a bit too far and cuts off its own blood supply. Not only is it very painful, but the testicle must be untwisted within a few hours or it will die - -- which, if it ''that'' wasn't enough for ya, will result in gangrene if it's not promptly removed.



* For some reason, it's common for people to think that kicking a woman in the groin is ineffective. Being kicked ANYWHERE is painful. The lack of testes means that a kick to the groin won't be quite as severe, but the female genital region still has nerve endings. A groin attack can still hurt a member of either sex.

to:

* For some reason, it's common for people to think that kicking a woman in the groin is ineffective. Being kicked ANYWHERE ''ANYWHERE'' is painful. The lack of testes means that a kick to the groin won't be quite as severe, but the female genital region still has nerve endings. A groin attack can still hurt a member of either sex.



*** Urinating on an electric fence isn't dangerous because of the discontinuity of the flow, but a lightning strike certainly is. Remember that a lighting is basically electricity breaking through the resistance of ''air''.
*** This troper can say that I have whizzed on an electric fence, and gotten a painful shock from doing it. I was 10 at the time, so the fact that the stream didn't have as far to go to reach the fence may have helped. In any case, though, an electric fence is designed to give a painful shock to animals, but not a lethal one. No rancher wants to be killing a calf or foal who stumbles into the fence! As for my experience - it was momentarily very painful, but did not incapacitate me. Unlike, say, the time my brother managed to hit a softball right into my crotch when I was pitching for him, which left me writhing on the ground for a few minutes.

to:

*** Urinating on an electric fence isn't dangerous because of the discontinuity of the flow, but a lightning strike certainly is. Remember that a lighting lightning strike is basically electricity breaking through the resistance of ''air''.
*** This troper can say that I have whizzed on an electric fence, and gotten a painful shock from doing it. I was 10 at the time, so the fact that the stream didn't have as far to go to reach the fence may have helped. In any case, though, an electric fence is designed to give a painful shock to animals, but not a lethal one. No rancher wants to be killing a calf or foal who stumbles into the fence! As for my experience - -- it was momentarily very painful, but did not incapacitate me. Unlike, say, the time my brother managed to hit a softball right into my crotch when I was pitching for him, which left me writhing on the ground for a few minutes.



* Interestingly, this method can be used to see if an enemy soldier lying on the ground is alive or dead. Simply spread the legs, and kick'em like you were going for a penalty shot in Soccer/Football. If they're alive, they WILL make a noise, and you can proceed to treat them like a POW.



** Only if you're doing it wrong. If it hurts you didn't use enough lubricant, didn't let your bodies adjust to the action, or were just plain moving too fast.

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** Only if you're doing it wrong. If it hurts hurts, you didn't use enough lubricant, didn't let your bodies adjust to the action, or were just plain moving too fast.



* Origen was rumored to having castrated himself to shield himself from the temptations of the flesh after inspiring himself [[Literature/TheBible from]] [[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%2019:12-19:12&version=AKJV Matt. 19:12]] before later treating it as an OldShame having prevented him from being ordained a priest in Constantinople.

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* Origen was rumored to having have castrated himself to shield himself from the temptations of the flesh after inspiring himself [[Literature/TheBible from]] [[http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%2019:12-19:12&version=AKJV Matt. 19:12]] before later treating it as an OldShame having prevented him from being ordained a priest in Constantinople.



* American troops are trained that if they come across a bunch of enemy troops who look dead after a series of air and artillery strikes, that they are to check to see if any of them are still alive, and if so, capture them. Normally, each check can take a while, and ties up two people at a time. However, if you opt to check a combatant yourself, the fastest way to test if he's still alive... spread his legs, and give him one swift punt to the footballs. If he's dead, nothing will happen, if he's not, he'll cry out in agony, and be even easier to capture.

to:

* American troops are trained that if they come across a bunch of enemy troops who look dead after a series of air and artillery strikes, that they are to check to see if any of them are still alive, and if so, capture them. Normally, each check can take a while, and ties up two people at a time. However, if you opt to check a combatant yourself, the fastest way to test if he's still alive... spread his legs, and give him one swift punt to the footballs. If he's dead, nothing will happen, happen; if he's not, he'll cry out in agony, and be even easier to capture.
27th Apr '17 5:46:06 PM Llygodenfawr
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* [[http://metro.co.uk/2017/02/21/builder-shoots-himself-in-the-crotch-with-hydraulic-nail-gun-6462856/ Welsh builder shoots himself in the crotch with hydraulic nail gun.]]
* [[http://www.floridasunpost.com/tampa-man-loses-testicles-trying-fill-scuba-tank-weed-smoke/ Man Loses Testicles After Trying To ‘Fill Scuba Tank With Weed Smoke’]]

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* [[http://metro.co.uk/2017/02/21/builder-shoots-himself-in-the-crotch-with-hydraulic-nail-gun-6462856/ Welsh builder shoots himself in the crotch with hydraulic nail gun.]]
* [[http://www.floridasunpost.com/tampa-man-loses-testicles-trying-fill-scuba-tank-weed-smoke/ Man Loses Testicles After Trying To ‘Fill Scuba Tank With Weed Smoke’]]
]]
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