History Funny / YoungWizards

* The Lone Power's favorite tool, entropy, had already struck locally: His cornflakes had gone soggy.

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* In general, the fact that wizards are always so polite when greeting their arch-enemy.

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** The reason for that? ''Nita just put her bed on Pluto.''

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[[folder:Owl Be Home For Christmas]]
* The reporter blaming the owl rescuing its tree on the liberals.
--> “Stories have been going around for a while now that the antifa were attempting to weaponize animals in their struggle to destabilize our nation. So-called mainstream media pundits pooh-poohed the very idea. Well, tonight, right here in Rockefeller Center itself, we’ve seen evidence that animals do indeed appear to have been drafted into the liberal War on Christmas—”

* When the TV tries to 'meditate' and then to 'evolve'. And then the millions of wizardly channels that suddenly appear on cable. And Carmela's ''grenfelzing.''

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Roshaun and Dairine's interactions in ''Wizards At War,'' when they're not [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming just heartwarming.]]

** Nita's "Last warning, you guys... I've got a pumpkin, ''and I'm not afraid to use it!'' (Doubles as a CrowningMomentOfAwesome, for the pumpkin in question.)

--> '''Kit:''' “Old, old story, Mama. You should see some of these guys’ literature. Shakespeare would have loved it….Just imagine AMidsummerNightsDream with twelve extra genders…”

* --> '''Nita:''' "What I really need right now in terms of energy is a chocolate bar - but the only thing I've got left in my pack is a cat. And I can't eat that. Too many bones."
* --> '''Kit:''' "Uh, Annie, your cat just went up the chimney!"
* --> '''Dairine:''' "No, I will ''not'' move your planet! What do you want to move it for? It's fine right where it is!"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:A Wizard's Dilemma]]
* Despite being [[TearJerker horribly depressing]], A Wizard's Dilemma does have some very funny bits.

--> ''She opened her eyes again to find Dairine staring at her as if she were something from Mars. Actually, Dairine had stared at things from Mars with a lot less astonishment.''

* '''Nita:''' "What I really need right now in terms of energy is a chocolate bar - but the only thing I've got left in my pack is a cat. And I can't eat that. Too many bones."
* '''Kit:''' "Uh, Annie, your cat just went up the chimney!"
* '''Dairine:''' "No, I will ''not'' move your planet! What do you want to move it for? It's fine right where it is!"

* ''You know Neets, I don't often hear you think lately, but if your dad had just heard what you thought, he'd have washed your head out with soap!''

* Nita from A Wizard Abroad: "What I really need right now in terms of energy is a chocolate bar - but the only thing I've got left in my pack is a cat. And I can't eat that. Too many bones."
* Kit: "Uh, Annie, your cat just went up the chimney!"
* Dairine: "No, I will ''not'' move your planet! What do you want to move it for? It's fine right where it is!"

--> She opened her eyes again to find Dairine staring at her as if she were something from Mars. Actually, Dairine had stared at things from Mars with a lot less astonishment.

--> “Come on, you guys,” he said in the speech. “All I’m asking for here is a little cooperation–”

--> “Death before dishonor!” Shouted the DVD player.

* Any time Carl attempts to fix the plumbing, or the electricity, or anything in the house. - "Carl came up from the basement with a very large roll of duct tape.
--> 'Ah,' Tom said. 'The substance that binds the universe together.' - 'We'll see,' Carl said, and bent himself over sideways again. - 'It's a brute force solution,' Tom said. 'Inelegant. The phone's ''right there''!!' "

--> Kit: “It’s real basic, Mama. Boy meets girl, meets thing, meets other thing. Boy loses girl, loses other thing, finds thing. Boy loses thing, gets girl, loses thing. Happily ever after…”
--> Kit's mom: “‘Basic,’ you said?”
-->“Old, old story, Mama. You should see some of these guys’ literature. Shakespeare would have loved it….Just imagine AMidsummerNightsDream with twelve extra genders…”

--> Carmela: "What's that you're doing?" Carmela:
--> Kit: "Just a wizardry. I’m playing with the speed of light.”
--> Carmela: “I thought that was supposed to be a law. You shouldn’t break laws.”
--> Kit: “I’m not. I’m not even bending this one,” Kit said. “Just bending space.”
--> Carmela: “For the ''fun'' of it. You make my brains bleed sometimes, you know that?”
--> Kit: “Not half as much as I wish I did.”

* ''Wizards At War,'' despite being about... war, contains some very quotable funny moments.
** Nita: Forgive me if I take a moment to see where the people who were shooting at us are now.
**
--> Carmela: Now, here I am having some quality smooch time with my favorite doggie and you’re just standing there ruining it. Bear with me while I ask one of these nice people for a spell or something to destroy you with. Filif! Would you destroy Kit for me, please? You’re such a honey. Thanks.
** ''We are about to set a weirdness baseline the likes of which this planet's never seen.''
**
--> Roshaun: Kings are made no less noble by eating. Rather, they ennoble what they eat.
--> Nita: Wow, who sold you ''that'' one? *grin* I think I'll go ennoble a couple of waffles.
**
--> Harry: ''How'' many are we having for dinner tonight?
--> Dairine: The usual. Three humans, one humanoid, one tree, one giant bug -
--> Sker'ret: Who are you calling a bug?
--> Roshaun: And who are you calling a humanoid? ''I'm'' the human. ''You're'' the humanoids -
**
--> Kit: What ''is'' grenfelzing, exactly?
--> Carmela: It's kind of like emmfozing, but with chocolate.

* Roshaun and Dairine's interactions in ''Wizards At War,'' when they're not [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming just heartwarming.]]
**
--> “To what land of your world is such raiment native?” (Roshaun)
--> “Possibly Oz,” Dairine said, “but I doubt the Good Witch of the North is going to come after me for stealing her look.”
**
--> Roshaun: "What do your people usually wear when meeting your leaders?"
--> Dairine: "If we've got any guts at all, a real annoyed expression,"
**
--> “You alright? Besides your injured dignity, I mean.” (Dairine)

--> Roshaun: “There’s something odd about the primary’s flare pattern.”
--> Dairine: Wouldn’t be surprised, I chucked a black hole into it.”
--> Roshaun: “Stars in your neighborhood seem to have a rough time of it.”
--> Dairine: “If ours acts weird, talk to Nita. First time it went out was on ''her'' watch.”

--> "I'm lying on an effing Star Wars bedspread. Will I ever be able to look myself in the eye again?"

--> Kit: “Am I allowed to think about teleporting her to Titan and dumping her in a lake of liquid methane?”
--> Nita: “No. It’d upset those microbes there…the one’s Dairine’s been coaching in situational ethics.”
--> Kit: “The thought of Dairine coaching anybody in ethics…”

[[/folder]]

[[folder:A Wizard Of Mars]]
* ''A Wizard Of Mars'' had a lot of funny moments, too, mostly thanks to the pure awesome that is the Kit-Darryl-Ronan bromance triangle.
**
** Tom reached down among the plants, pushed green leaves aside, and sighed. "Guys, how many times do we have to go over this?" He picked something up, looked at it. It was a slug. He shook his head and tossed it off to one side, into another leafy bed. "Those are ''your'' strawberries" - ''fling'' - "over ''there!'' These are ''my'' strawberries" - ''fling'' - "over ''here!''"
**
--> Nita: I'm getting trash talked by ''fish.'' Something's wrong with this picture.
**
--> Nita: You look like a Jedi knight who lost the bathrobe's belt.
--> Dairine: I ''live'' for your fashion bulletins.
** Why are Spirit and Opportunity still going? Wizards with air dusters.

--> Carmela: "Whatever. At least she'll have fun with the vampires!"
--> Nita: "No vampires. Some undead, yeah, and some confused Goth wannabes. But there haven't been real turn-into-a-bat-and-flap-around vampires since 1652."
--> Carmela: "Really? What happened in 1652?"
--> Nita: "Some other time, okay?"

* Nita suggests to Kit that they do something about Nita's sister Dairine. Kit responds with "It's a little late for birth control."

-->“Old, old story, Mama. You should see some of these guys’ literature. Shakespeare would have loved it….Just imagine AMidsummer NightsDream with twelve extra genders…”

* Despite being horribly [[TearJerker depressing,]], A Wizard's Dilemma does have some very funny bits.
* --> She opened her eyes again to find Dairine staring at her as if she were something from Mars. Actually, Dairine had stared at things from Mars with a lot less astonishment.

* ''A Wizard Alone'' is pretty sad, especially after the big depress-fest which was ''A Wizard's Dilemma,'' but Dairine, although depressed, still manages to be hilarious. ''I wish I knew what alien force had kidnapped my sister and left this vindictive thug of a pod person in her place. Because when I find out, I’m going to hunt it down and kick however many rear ends it has from here to Alphecca!''

* ''Wizards At War,'' despite being about . . . war, contains some very quotable funny moments.

** For example: "What's that you're doing?" (Carmela) /"Just a wizardry. I’m playing with the speed of light.” (Kit) / “I thought that was supposed to be a law,” Carmela said. “You shouldn’t break laws.” / “I’m not. I’m not even bending this one,” Kit said. “Just bending space.” / “For the ''fun'' of it,” His sister said in wonder. “You make my brains bleed sometimes, you know that?” / “Not half as much as I wish I did.”

* Nita from A Wizard Abroad: "What I really need right now in terms of energy is a chocolate bar - but the only thing I've got left in my pack is a cat. And I can't eat that. Too many bones."

** "What do your people usually wear when meeting your leaders?" (Roshaun) "If we've got any guts at all, a real annoyed expression," Dairine said.

* "Fred here has a small problem." "I wish ''I'' had problems like that." (After Fred accidentally hiccups about six giant star sapphires onto Tom and Carl's kitchen table.)

* Nita suggests to Kit that they do something about Nita's sister Dairine. Kit responds with "It's a little late for birth control."

* Any time Carl attempts to fix the plumbing, or the electricity, or anything in the house. - "Carl came up from the basement with a very large roll of duct tape.
--> 'Ah,' Tom said. 'The substance that binds the universe together.' - 'We'll see,' Carl said, and bent himself over sideways again. - 'It's a brute force solution,' Tom said. 'Inelegant. The phone's ''right there''!!' "

** “Come on, you guys,” he said in the speech. “All I’m asking for here is a little cooperation – ” (Kit) / “No surrender!” Shouted the remote. / “Death before dishonor!” Shouted the DVD player.

* When the TV tries to 'meditate' and then to 'evolve'. And then the millions of wizardly channels that suddenly appear on cable. And Carmela's ''grenfelzing.''

* Any of Carmela and Kit's interactions, especially after ''A Wizard's Holiday.''

** For Example: "What's that you're doing?" (Carmela) /"Just a wizardry. I’m playing with the speed of light.” (Kit) / “I thought that was supposed to be a law,” Carmela said. “You shouldn’t break laws.” / “I’m not. I’m not even bending this one,” Kit said. “Just bending space.” / “For the ''fun'' of it,” His sister said in wonder. “You make my brains bleed sometimes, you know that?” / “Not half as much as I wish I did.”

* Roshaun and Dairine's interactions in ''Wizards At War,'' when they're not [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming just heartwarming.]]

** “To what land of your world is such raiment native?” (Roshaun) / “Possibly Oz,” Dairine said, “but I doubt the Good Witch of the North is going to come after me for stealing her look.”
** "What do your people usually wear when meeting your leaders?" (Roshaun) "If we've got any guts at all, a real annoyed expression," Dairine said.

--> “You alright? Besides your injured dignity, I mean.” (Dairine)

--> Roshaun: “There’s something odd about the primary’s flare pattern.”
--> Dairine: Wouldn’t be surprised, I chucked a black hole into it.”
--> Roshaun: “Stars in your neighborhood seem to have a rough time of it.”
--> Dairine: “If ours acts weird, talk to Nita. First time it went out was on ''her'' watch.”

* ''Wizards At War,'' despite being about . . . war, contains some very quotable funny moments.
** Nita: Forgive me if I take a moment to see where the people who were shooting at us are now.
**

** --> Roshaun: Kings are made no less noble by eating. Rather, they ennoble what they eat.
--> Nita: Wow, who sold you ''that'' one? *grin* I think I'll go ennoble a couple of waffles.

* ''A Wizard Of Mars'' had a lot of funny moments, too, mostly thanks to the pure awesome that is the Kit-Darryl-Ronan bromance triangle.
** --> "I'm lying on an effing Star Wars bedspread. Will I ever be able to look myself in the eye again?"
** Tom reached down among the plants, pushed green leaves aside, and sighed. "Guys, how many times do we have to go over this?" He picked something up, looked at it. It was a slug. He shook his head and tossed it off to one side, into another leafy bed. "Those are ''your'' strawberries" - ''fling'' - "over ''there!'' These are ''my'' strawberries" - ''fling'' - "over ''here!''"

--> Nita: I'm getting trash talked by ''fish.'' Something's wrong with this picture.

* --> "Go ahead! Panic!" screamed Picchu from somewhere in the background. "Do it now and avoid the June rush!"

** Roshaun: Kings are made no less noble by eating. Rather, they ennoble what they eat.
Nita: Wow, who sold you ''that'' one? *grin* I think I'll go ennoble a couple of waffles.