History Funny / YoungWizards

12th Oct '15 3:15:39 PM TroperOnAStickV2
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* ''"You have turned Mars into New Jersey''!"
28th Feb '15 10:20:50 AM JMQwilleran
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* Kit is led to believe that his sister has become a wizard because she told him that she "found the manual," which he takes to mean the manual that every wizard finds and must swear an oath from. When she keeps going on about how great and fun being a wizard must be, he finally snaps and demands that she read the first page of the manual, which she does: "in compliance with FCC regulation, part 15, section 209(c), which states that any unwanted RF emissions from an intentional radiator shall not exceed the--"
--> '''Carmela''': "I said I found the manual. ''For the TV.''"
1st Jan '13 11:09:27 PM heterodynegirl
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to:

* "Then what ''are'' you doing? Sometimes you say to me 'playing', but I don't know what kids mean anymore when they say that. When I was little, it was hopscotch, or Chinese jump rope, or games in the dirt with plastic animals. Now when I ask Dairine what she's doing, and she says, 'Playing,' I go in and find she's doing quadratic equations... or using my hot curlers on the neighbor's red setter."
29th Nov '12 1:39:21 AM warlock415
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[[folder:Not On MY Patch]]
* The whole thing, starting with the rancid pun of the title...
** Nita negotiating with her pumpkin about how it feels about being carved.
** Kit and his fake mustache.
** Ronan meeting (and mocking) Peeps and Circus Peanuts.
--> '''Ronan:''' "That's never a peanut."
--> '''Nita:''' "It's just supposed to sort of look like one. It's marshmallow, too."
--> '''Ronan:''' "This thing's ''hard''. A Styrofoam peanut, ''that'' it might be."
--> '''Ronan:''' (after eating it) "And why's it taste like bananas? You people are unwell."
** Nita nicknaming the pumpkin, and Kit immediately pointing out what tends to happen to entities they nickname.
** Dairine having a full-out freakout about the threat-of-the-week, even though she's dressed as a Jedi ''Padawan'', complete with functional lightsabre, and then having ''another one'' when Ronan explains what they're made of, calling in so many words for BrainBleach.
** Nita's "Last warning, you guys... I've got a pumpkin, ''and I'm not afraid to use it!'' (Doubles as a CrowningMomentOfAwesome, for the pumpkin in question.)
** The BrickJoke that follows, courtesy of Ronan's continued Deconstruction of Halloween traditions.
** Carl showing up, in costume as a ghoul, with BattleAura flowing off him, only to find out he ''just'' missed the fight.
** Nita grabs Kit, gets rid of the fake mustache, and "(pulls) him close in the dark", when Ronan attempts to spoil the moment:
--> '''Ronan:''' "Hurry up and come on, or (Dairine)'s gonna get ahead of you and raid your bags for all the chocolate."
--> '''Kit:''' (a few seconds later) "Tell her she can have it."
9th Mar '12 3:50:03 PM ranmouri
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* --> '''Nita:''' "What I really need right now in terms of energy is a chocolate bar - but the only thing I've got left in my pack is a cat. And I can't eat that. Too many bones."
* --> '''Kit:''' "Uh, Annie, your cat just went up the chimney!"
* --> '''Dairine:''' "No, I will ''not'' move your planet! What do you want to move it for? It's fine right where it is!"
[[/folder]]

[[folder:A Wizard's Dilemma]]
* Despite being [[TearJerker horribly depressing]], A Wizard's Dilemma does have some very funny bits.



--> ''She opened her eyes again to find Dairine staring at her as if she were something from Mars. Actually, Dairine had stared at things from Mars with a lot less astonishment.''

to:

--> ''She opened her eyes again '''Nita:''' "What I really need right now in terms of energy is a chocolate bar - but the only thing I've got left in my pack is a cat. And I can't eat that. Too many bones."
*
--> '''Kit:''' "Uh, Annie, your cat just went up the chimney!"
*
--> '''Dairine:''' "No, I will ''not'' move your planet! What do you want
to find Dairine staring at her as if she were something from Mars. Actually, Dairine had stared at things from Mars with a lot less astonishment.''move it for? It's fine right where it is!"




to:

[[folder:A Wizard's Dilemma]]
* Despite being [[TearJerker horribly depressing]], A Wizard's Dilemma does have some very funny bits.
*
--> ''She opened her eyes again to find Dairine staring at her as if she were something from Mars. Actually, Dairine had stared at things from Mars with a lot less astonishment.''
[[/folder]]

9th Mar '12 3:49:19 PM ranmouri
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* '''Nita:''' "What I really need right now in terms of energy is a chocolate bar - but the only thing I've got left in my pack is a cat. And I can't eat that. Too many bones."
* '''Kit:''' "Uh, Annie, your cat just went up the chimney!"
* '''Dairine:''' "No, I will ''not'' move your planet! What do you want to move it for? It's fine right where it is!"

to:

* --> '''Nita:''' "What I really need right now in terms of energy is a chocolate bar - but the only thing I've got left in my pack is a cat. And I can't eat that. Too many bones."
* --> '''Kit:''' "Uh, Annie, your cat just went up the chimney!"
* --> '''Dairine:''' "No, I will ''not'' move your planet! What do you want to move it for? It's fine right where it is!"
9th Mar '12 3:48:47 PM ranmouri
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[[foldercontrol]]



* ''You know Neets, I don't often hear you think lately, but if your dad had just heard what you thought, he'd have washed your head out with soap!''

to:

* ''You know know, Neets, I don't often hear you think lately, but if your dad had just heard what you thought, he'd have washed your head out with soap!''



* Nita from A Wizard Abroad: "What I really need right now in terms of energy is a chocolate bar - but the only thing I've got left in my pack is a cat. And I can't eat that. Too many bones."
* Kit: "Uh, Annie, your cat just went up the chimney!"
* Dairine: "No, I will ''not'' move your planet! What do you want to move it for? It's fine right where it is!"

to:

* Nita from A Wizard Abroad: '''Nita:''' "What I really need right now in terms of energy is a chocolate bar - but the only thing I've got left in my pack is a cat. And I can't eat that. Too many bones."
* Kit: '''Kit:''' "Uh, Annie, your cat just went up the chimney!"
* Dairine: '''Dairine:''' "No, I will ''not'' move your planet! What do you want to move it for? It's fine right where it is!"



--> She opened her eyes again to find Dairine staring at her as if she were something from Mars. Actually, Dairine had stared at things from Mars with a lot less astonishment.

to:

--> She ''She opened her eyes again to find Dairine staring at her as if she were something from Mars. Actually, Dairine had stared at things from Mars with a lot less astonishment. ''



--> “Come on, you guys,” he said in the speech. “All I’m asking for here is a little cooperation–”

to:

--> “Come on, you guys,” he said in the speech.Speech. “All I’m asking for here is a little cooperation–”



--> “Death before dishonor!” Shouted the DVD player.

to:

--> “Death before dishonor!” Shouted shouted the DVD player.



* Any time Carl attempts to fix the plumbing, or the electricity, or anything in the house. - "Carl came up from the basement with a very large roll of duct tape.
--> 'Ah,' Tom said. 'The substance that binds the universe together.' - 'We'll see,' Carl said, and bent himself over sideways again. - 'It's a brute force solution,' Tom said. 'Inelegant. The phone's ''right there''!!' "

to:

* Any time Carl attempts to fix the plumbing, or the electricity, or anything in the house. -
-->
"Carl came up from the basement with a very large roll of duct tape.
--> 'Ah,' Tom said. 'The substance that binds the universe together.' - '
-->
'We'll see,' Carl said, and bent himself over sideways again. - again.
-->
'It's a brute force solution,' Tom said. 'Inelegant. The phone's ''right there''!!' "



--> Kit: “It’s real basic, Mama. Boy meets girl, meets thing, meets other thing. Boy loses girl, loses other thing, finds thing. Boy loses thing, gets girl, loses thing. Happily ever after…”
--> Kit's mom: “‘Basic,’ you said?”
-->“Old, old story, Mama. You should see some of these guys’ literature. Shakespeare would have loved it….Just imagine AMidsummerNightsDream with twelve extra genders…”

to:

--> Kit: '''Kit:''' “It’s real basic, Mama. Boy meets girl, meets thing, meets other thing. Boy loses girl, loses other thing, finds thing. Boy loses thing, gets girl, loses thing. Happily ever after…”
--> Kit's mom: '''Kit's mom:''' “‘Basic,’ you said?”
-->“Old, --> '''Kit:''' “Old, old story, Mama. You should see some of these guys’ literature. Shakespeare would have loved it….Just imagine AMidsummerNightsDream with twelve extra genders…”



--> Carmela: "What's that you're doing?" Carmela:
--> Kit: "Just a wizardry. I’m playing with the speed of light.”
--> Carmela: “I thought that was supposed to be a law. You shouldn’t break laws.”
--> Kit: “I’m not. I’m not even bending this one,” Kit said. “Just bending space.”
--> Carmela: “For the ''fun'' of it. You make my brains bleed sometimes, you know that?”
--> Kit: “Not half as much as I wish I did.”

to:

--> Carmela: '''Carmela:''' "What's that you're doing?" Carmela:
doing?"
--> Kit: '''Kit:''' "Just a wizardry. I’m playing with the speed of light.”
--> Carmela: '''Carmela:''' “I thought that was supposed to be a law. You shouldn’t break laws.”
--> Kit: '''Kit:''' “I’m not. I’m not even bending this one,” Kit said. “Just one. Just bending space.”
--> Carmela: '''Carmela:''' “For the ''fun'' of it. You make my brains bleed sometimes, you know that?”
--> Kit: '''Kit:''' “Not half as much as I wish I did.”



* ''Wizards At War,'' despite being about... war, contains some very quotable funny moments.
** Nita: Forgive me if I take a moment to see where the people who were shooting at us are now.
**
--> Carmela: Now, here I am having some quality smooch time with my favorite doggie and you’re just standing there ruining it. Bear with me while I ask one of these nice people for a spell or something to destroy you with. Filif! Would you destroy Kit for me, please? You’re such a honey. Thanks.
** ''We are about to set a weirdness baseline the likes of which this planet's never seen.''
**
--> Roshaun: Kings are made no less noble by eating. Rather, they ennoble what they eat.
--> Nita: Wow, who sold you ''that'' one? *grin* I think I'll go ennoble a couple of waffles.
**
--> Harry: ''How'' many are we having for dinner tonight?
--> Dairine: The usual. Three humans, one humanoid, one tree, one giant bug -
--> Sker'ret: Who are you calling a bug?
--> Roshaun: And who are you calling a humanoid? ''I'm'' the human. ''You're'' the humanoids -
**
--> Kit: What ''is'' grenfelzing, exactly?
--> Carmela: It's kind of like emmfozing, but with chocolate.

* Roshaun and Dairine's interactions in ''Wizards At War,'' when they're not [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming just heartwarming.]]
**
--> “To what land of your world is such raiment native?” (Roshaun)
--> “Possibly Oz,” Dairine said, “but I doubt the Good Witch of the North is going to come after me for stealing her look.”
**
--> Roshaun: "What do your people usually wear when meeting your leaders?"
--> Dairine: "If we've got any guts at all, a real annoyed expression,"
**
--> “You alright? Besides your injured dignity, I mean.” (Dairine)

--> Roshaun: “There’s something odd about the primary’s flare pattern.”
--> Dairine: Wouldn’t be surprised, I chucked a black hole into it.”
--> Roshaun: “Stars in your neighborhood seem to have a rough time of it.”
--> Dairine: “If ours acts weird, talk to Nita. First time it went out was on ''her'' watch.”

to:

* ''Wizards At War,'' despite being about... war, contains some very quotable funny moments.
** Nita: * '''Nita:''' Forgive me if I take a moment to see where the people who were shooting at us are now.
**
--> Carmela: Now, here I am having some quality smooch time with my favorite doggie and you’re just standing there ruining it. Bear with me while I ask one of these nice people for a spell or something to destroy you with. Filif! Would you destroy Kit for me, please? You’re such a honey. Thanks.
** ''We are about to set a weirdness baseline the likes of which this planet's never seen.''
**
--> Roshaun: Kings are made no less noble by eating. Rather, they ennoble what they eat.
--> Nita: Wow, who sold you ''that'' one? *grin* I think I'll go ennoble a couple of waffles.
**
--> Harry: ''How'' many are we having for dinner tonight?
--> Dairine: The usual. Three humans, one humanoid, one tree, one giant bug -
--> Sker'ret: Who are you calling a bug?
--> Roshaun: And who are you calling a humanoid? ''I'm'' the human. ''You're'' the humanoids -
**
--> Kit: What ''is'' grenfelzing, exactly?
--> Carmela: It's kind of like emmfozing, but with chocolate.

* Roshaun and Dairine's interactions in ''Wizards At War,'' when they're not [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming just heartwarming.]]
**
--> “To what land of your world is such raiment native?” (Roshaun)
--> “Possibly Oz,” Dairine said, “but I doubt the Good Witch of the North is going to come after me for stealing her look.”
**
--> Roshaun: "What do your people usually wear when meeting your leaders?"
--> Dairine: "If we've got any guts at all, a real annoyed expression,"
**
--> “You alright? Besides your injured dignity, I mean.” (Dairine)

--> Roshaun: “There’s something odd about the primary’s flare pattern.”
--> Dairine: Wouldn’t be surprised, I chucked a black hole into it.”
--> Roshaun: “Stars in your neighborhood seem to have a rough time of it.”
--> Dairine: “If ours acts weird, talk to Nita. First time it went out was on ''her'' watch.”
now.



--> "I'm lying on an effing Star Wars bedspread. Will I ever be able to look myself in the eye again?"

to:

--> "I'm lying on an effing Star Wars bedspread. Will '''Carmela:''' Now, here I ever be able am having some quality smooch time with my favorite doggie and you’re just standing there ruining it. Bear with me while I ask one of these nice people for a spell or something to look myself in destroy you with. Filif! Would you destroy Kit for me, please? You’re such a honey. Thanks.
* ''We are about to set a weirdness baseline
the eye again?"
likes of which this planet's never seen.''



--> Kit: “Am I allowed to think about teleporting her to Titan and dumping her in a lake of liquid methane?”
--> Nita: “No. It’d upset those microbes there…the one’s Dairine’s been coaching in situational ethics.”
--> Kit: “The thought of Dairine coaching anybody in ethics…”

[[/folder]]

[[folder:A Wizard Of Mars]]
* ''A Wizard Of Mars'' had a lot of funny moments, too, mostly thanks to the pure awesome that is the Kit-Darryl-Ronan bromance triangle.
**
** Tom reached down among the plants, pushed green leaves aside, and sighed. "Guys, how many times do we have to go over this?" He picked something up, looked at it. It was a slug. He shook his head and tossed it off to one side, into another leafy bed. "Those are ''your'' strawberries" - ''fling'' - "over ''there!'' These are ''my'' strawberries" - ''fling'' - "over ''here!''"
**
--> Nita: I'm getting trash talked by ''fish.'' Something's wrong with this picture.
**
--> Nita: You look like a Jedi knight who lost the bathrobe's belt.
--> Dairine: I ''live'' for your fashion bulletins.
** Why are Spirit and Opportunity still going? Wizards with air dusters.

to:

--> Kit: “Am I allowed to think about teleporting her to Titan and dumping her in a lake of liquid methane?”
'''Roshaun:''' Kings are made no less noble by eating. Rather, they ennoble what they eat.
--> Nita: “No. It’d upset those microbes there…the one’s Dairine’s been coaching in situational ethics.”
--> Kit: “The thought of Dairine coaching anybody in ethics…”

[[/folder]]

[[folder:A Wizard Of Mars]]
* ''A Wizard Of Mars'' had a lot of funny moments, too, mostly thanks to the pure awesome that is the Kit-Darryl-Ronan bromance triangle.
**
** Tom reached down among the plants, pushed green leaves aside, and sighed. "Guys, how many times do we have to go over this?" He picked something up, looked at it. It was a slug. He shook his head and tossed it off to one side, into another leafy bed. "Those are ''your'' strawberries" - ''fling'' - "over ''there!'' These are ''my'' strawberries" - ''fling'' - "over ''here!''"
**
--> Nita: I'm getting trash talked by ''fish.'' Something's wrong with this picture.
**
--> Nita: You look like a Jedi knight
'''Nita:''' Wow, who lost the bathrobe's belt.
--> Dairine:
sold you ''that'' one? *grin* I ''live'' for your fashion bulletins.
** Why are Spirit and Opportunity still going? Wizards with air dusters.
think I'll go ennoble a couple of waffles.



--> Carmela: "Whatever. At least she'll have fun with the vampires!"
--> Nita: "No vampires. Some undead, yeah, and some confused Goth wannabes. But there haven't been real turn-into-a-bat-and-flap-around vampires since 1652."
--> Carmela: "Really? What happened in 1652?"
--> Nita: "Some other time, okay?"

to:

--> Carmela: "Whatever. At least she'll have fun with the vampires!"
'''Harry:''' ''How'' many are we having for dinner tonight?
--> Nita: "No vampires. Some undead, yeah, and some confused Goth wannabes. But there haven't been real turn-into-a-bat-and-flap-around vampires since 1652."
'''Dairine''': The usual. Three humans, one humanoid, one tree, one giant bug -
--> Carmela: "Really? What happened in 1652?"
'''Sker'ret:''' Who are you calling a bug?
--> Nita: "Some other time, okay?"'''Roshaun:''' And who are you calling a humanoid? ''I'm'' the human. ''You're'' the humanoids -
*
--> '''Kit:''' What ''is'' grenfelzing, exactly?
--> '''Carmela:''' It's kind of like emmfozing, but with chocolate.

Roshaun and Dairine's interactions in ''Wizards At War,'' when they're not [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming just heartwarming.]]
*
--> '''Roshaun:''' “To what land of your world is such raiment native?” (Roshaun)
--> '''Dairine:''' “Possibly Oz, but I doubt the Good Witch of the North is going to come after me for stealing her look.”

--> '''Roshaun:''' "What do your people usually wear when meeting your leaders?"
--> '''Dairine:''' "If we've got any guts at all, a real annoyed expression,"

--> '''Dairine:''' “You alright? Besides your injured dignity, I mean.”

--> '''Roshaun:''' “There’s something odd about the primary’s flare pattern.”
--> '''Dairine:''' Wouldn’t be surprised, I chucked a black hole into it.”
--> '''Roshaun:''' “Stars in your neighborhood seem to have a rough time of it.”
--> '''Dairine:''' “If ours acts weird, talk to Nita. First time it went out was on ''her'' watch.”

*
--> '''Ronan:''' "I'm lying on an effing Star Wars bedspread. Will I ever be able to look myself in the eye again?"

*
--> '''Kit:''' “Am I allowed to think about teleporting her to Titan and dumping her in a lake of liquid methane?”
--> '''Nita:''' “No. It’d upset those microbes there…the one’s Dairine’s been coaching in situational ethics.”
--> '''Kit:''' “The thought of ''Dairine'' coaching anybody in ethics…”


Added DiffLines:

[[folder:A Wizard Of Mars]]
''A Wizard Of Mars'' had a lot of funny moments, too, mostly thanks to the pure awesome that is the Kit-Darryl-Ronan bromance triangle.

* Tom reached down among the plants, pushed green leaves aside, and sighed. "Guys, how many times do we have to go over this?" He picked something up, looked at it. It was a slug. He shook his head and tossed it off to one side, into another leafy bed. "Those are ''your'' strawberries" - ''fling'' - "over ''there!'' These are ''my'' strawberries" - ''fling'' - "over ''here!''"
*
--> '''Nita:''' I'm getting trash talked by ''fish.'' Something's wrong with this picture.
*
--> '''Nita:''' You look like a Jedi knight who lost the bathrobe's belt.
--> '''Dairine:''' I ''live'' for your fashion bulletins.

* Why are Spirit and Opportunity still going? Wizards with air dusters.
*
--> '''Carmela:''' "Whatever. At least she'll have fun with the vampires!"
--> '''Nita:''' "No vampires. Some undead, yeah, and some confused Goth wannabes. But there haven't been real turn-into-a-bat-and-flap-around vampires since 1652."
--> '''Carmela:''' "Really? What happened in 1652?"
--> '''Nita:''' "Some other time, okay?"
[[/folder]]
16th Jan '12 6:22:37 PM ranmouri
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* Nita suggests to Kit that they do something about Nita's sister Dairine. Kit responds with "It's a little late for birth control."




* Nita suggests to Kit that they do something about Nita's sister Dairine. Kit responds with "It's a little late for birth control."
11th Dec '11 2:05:48 PM Zemyla
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Added DiffLines:

[[folder:Book of Night With Moon]]
* Urruah sharpening his claws on the WorldTree. That takes balls.
[[/folder]]
14th Nov '11 1:34:47 AM Mike
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-->“Old, old story, Mama. You should see some of these guys’ literature. Shakespeare would have loved it….Just imagine AMidsummer NightsDream with twelve extra genders…”

to:

-->“Old, old story, Mama. You should see some of these guys’ literature. Shakespeare would have loved it….Just imagine AMidsummer NightsDream AMidsummerNightsDream with twelve extra genders…”
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