History Funny / TopGear

24th Apr '16 7:53:26 AM GF93
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** Richard Hammond's patient delivery system... an air cannon.

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** Richard Hammond's patient delivery system... an air cannon. The first time he fires it, [[spoiler: the patient ends up under the wheels of a nearby truck whilst also destroying the door on Hammond's ambulance]]. The second time, [[spoiler: he fires them ''through a window'']]-
--->'''Jeremy:''' Hammond, you ''blithering idiot!''



** Jeremy Clarkson, in the back of a Porsche, transfixed at a fake penis.
--->'''Jeremy:''' ''[[Disney/TheJungleBook Trust in meee...]]''

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** Jeremy Clarkson, in the back of a Porsche, transfixed at by a fake penis.
--->'''Jeremy:''' ''[[Disney/TheJungleBook Trust in meee, trust in meee...]]'']]''
** The electric-driven rear door on James's Hearsebulance taking over two minutes to close on his initial lap before ''immediately'' falling open and breaking as he sets off, causing Richard and Jeremy to absolutely crack up-
--->'''James:''' ''[Completely straight-faced]'' [[UnderStatement I think you might've overdone it slightly on closing the tailgate, Stig.]]
* Jeremy's rant on Speed Humps following his loss to Hammond in the lap time challenge-
--->'''Jeremy:''' Speed Humps...[[BlatantLies 600,000 people a year are killed in the back of ambulances by Speed Humps]].
--->'''Richard:''' What you're doing is making that up.
--->'''Jeremy:''' Yes, but it- making a point. [[NoExceptYes Making it up to make a point!]]
--->'''James:''' If it's one or more, it's an issue!
--->'''Jeremy:''' [[MortonsFork Go over it too fast, patient dies. Slow down to make it more comfortable, patient dies because they don't reach the hospital in time.]] Until this government gets rid of every single Speed Hump, we're all going to ''die''.
* In the final challenge, [[spoiler: James's patient [[EpicFail falling out the back of his ambulance]], [[BadLiar and his following attempts to cover it up to Jeremy]]- claiming that his patient [[Film/MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail "got better"]] [[UnexplainedRecovery and decided to go to the Pub instead]]]].
28th Mar '16 9:13:37 AM N8han11
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** Attempting to drive their convertible van through a wildlife park. James keeps insisting the ''monkeys'' are more dangerous than the lions. [[spoiler:[[CloudcuckoolanderWasRight He's right.]] ]]

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** Attempting to drive their convertible van through a wildlife park. James keeps insisting the ''monkeys'' are more dangerous than the lions. [[spoiler:[[CloudcuckoolanderWasRight [[spoiler:[[TheCloudcuckoolanderWasRight He's right.]] ]]
26th Mar '16 7:41:53 PM Origin
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Added DiffLines:

---->'''Hammond:''' Well, ''no''!
---->'''Clarkson:''' ...you're screwed, then!
24th Mar '16 4:19:01 PM nombretomado
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* During the race across London: Jeremy Clarkson calls [[TheVoiceless the Stig]] to check on his progress. When it rings, Stig stares at his ringing phone like it's a bomb about to go off. The fact his ringtone is the ''CoronationStreet'' theme makes it doubly funny. The episode also "reveals" that The Stig sees every vehicle as a car, and is confused by most mundane actions such as reading the paper.

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* During the race across London: Jeremy Clarkson calls [[TheVoiceless the Stig]] to check on his progress. When it rings, Stig stares at his ringing phone like it's a bomb about to go off. The fact his ringtone is the ''CoronationStreet'' ''Series/CoronationStreet'' theme makes it doubly funny. The episode also "reveals" that The Stig sees every vehicle as a car, and is confused by most mundane actions such as reading the paper.
19th Mar '16 4:48:43 AM CelPrevXXVI
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** James does cap the news off with one epic punchline:
-->'''James:''' There's a bloke at some point who's gonna say "I'm just gonna go outside to wax the Growler."
-->''(Cue everyone laughing very hard)''
-->'''Jeremy:''' "Wax the Growler..." ''(Still unable to contain his laughter)''
24th Feb '16 4:26:09 AM RezaMaulana98
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** Later, once he finished his job as the pace car driver, he was recruited by Hendrick Motorsports to become... the person who brings the tire sets for the #5 team.
** Richard completely [[OhCrap shitting the hell out of himself]] when he drove a NASCAR car the next day. This only [[FromBadToWorse grew worse]] when Kyle Petty joined him & drafted his car.
22nd Feb '16 2:01:55 PM mlsmithca
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*** Stig gets another laugh when he figures out how to read the paper, throwing it away in disgust when he stumbles upon an article praising F1 driver Lewis Hamilton.

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*** ** Stig gets another laugh when he figures out how to read the paper, throwing it away in disgust when he stumbles upon an article praising F1 driver Lewis Hamilton.
22nd Feb '16 2:00:25 PM mlsmithca
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---> '''Clarkson''': Some say that his hair is the exact same shape as a hat, and that if he worked for CNN, he wouldn't get such ''pitifully'' low ratings that his show got cancelled. *makes trademark smug face*

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---> '''Clarkson''': Some say that his hair is the exact same shape as a hat, and that if he worked for CNN, he wouldn't get such ''pitifully'' low ratings that his show got cancelled. *makes ''(makes trademark smug face*face)''









-->'''Hammond:''' Enjoy it!

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-->'''Hammond:''' --->'''Hammond:''' Enjoy it!



* ''Clarkson, Hammond & May Live'' is the show that replaced ''Top Gear Live'' after the events of March 2015, where Clarkson punched a producer over food and was released from the BBC. The intro brings back everyone's favorite Jensen-driving, 70's mustache-wearing detectives, the Interceptors! Roger St. Hammond karate chops everything in sight, including a small boy. James Steed shoots everything in site, including a bad guy, a sexy woman, and a cute dog who urinates on his car. Jason Clarkson punches a bad guy in the face... and is immediately fired.

to:

* ''Clarkson, Hammond & May Live'' is the show that replaced ''Top Gear Live'' after the events of March 2015, where Clarkson punched a producer over food and was released from the BBC. The intro brings back everyone's favorite Jensen-driving, 70's mustache-wearing detectives, the Interceptors! Roger St. Hammond karate chops everything in sight, including a small boy. James Steed shoots everything in site, sight, including a bad guy, a sexy woman, and a cute dog who urinates on his car. Jason Clarkson punches a bad guy in the face... and is immediately fired.




[[folder:Unsorted (please help!)]]
[[/folder]]
22nd Feb '16 7:41:47 AM GF93
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** While they're travelling across the deadliest road in the world, James, who is terrified of heights, threatens the other two with his machete if they rear-end him. Jeremy truly accidentally does, not that this stops James from sticking a machete through his window. Hammond is in the back and you can't tell if he's scared or just amused.
--> '''Richard:''' Did your co-presenter on your television programme just attack you with a machette.\\
'''Jeremy:''' Yes he did. He came to the window and he was quite cross because I ran into him.\\

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** While they're travelling across [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yungas_Road the deadliest road in the world, world]], James, who is terrified of heights, threatens the other two with his machete if they rear-end him. Jeremy truly accidentally does, does- not that this stops [[AxeCrazy James from sticking a machete through his window.window]]. Hammond is in the back and you can't tell if he's scared or just amused.
--> '''Richard:''' Did your co-presenter on your television programme just attack you with a machette.\\
machete?\\
'''Jeremy:''' Yes Yes, he did. He came to the window and [[UnderStatement he was quite cross cross]] [[DisproportionateRetribution because I ran into him.him]].\\



** Hammond getting a buzz off coca leaves in Bolivia and chatting at double speed.

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** Hammond getting a buzz off coca leaves in Bolivia and [[MotorMouth chatting at double speed.speed]].
15th Feb '16 1:32:44 AM Doryna
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--> '"Car''': Please say a name.

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--> '"Car''': '''Car''': Please say a name.
This list shows the last 10 events of 519. Show all.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.TopGear