History Funny / ThirdRockFromTheSun

24th Oct '17 3:56:34 PM speedyboris
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

* ''Near Dick Experience'': After Sally, Tommy, and Harry almost die, they have a renewed appreciation for life, and start regularly volunteer at the soup kitchen. At first, they're all sunshine and smiles, but by the third act, they're back to their usual surly selves, with Sally not even looking as she sloppily serves soup:
--> '''Homeless person''': Hey, you burned me!\\
'''Sally''': ''(disdainful)'' ...Sorry. Here, have an extra bread. ''(tosses it in his soup bowl)''\\
'''Homeless person''': Thanks for nothing!\\
'''Sally''': Man, this is ''really'' startin' to get old.\\
'''Homeless person 2''': Hey, A.J., I've always dreamed of working in the movie industry. Can you help me out?\\
'''Harry''': Uh, yeah, I'm gonna call Warren Beatty for you right now.\\
'''Homeless person 3''': A.J., everyone says you're a real inspiration. Tell me, how did you change your life?\\
'''Harry''': ''(annoyed)'' Uh, y'know, you guys, I told this story, like, a million times already. Why don't you ask one of these guys? They don't seem to be doin' nothin'. ''(walks away)''
24th Oct '17 3:44:59 PM speedyboris
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

** Sally and Hole rescue Dick and Harry by digging a parallel hole, and when Sally tells the duo that they're free, they want to stay in the hole. Hole says they're experiencing a variant of the Stockholm Syndrome and that deprogramming them could take weeks. Sally will have none of it:
--> '''Sally''': Oh, screw that noise! ''(pushes Dick and Harry)'' HEY! Get your idiot asses up there! ''(Dick and Harry immediately leave the hole)'' I've had it! Do you know how hard I worked to get you out?!
24th Oct '17 3:39:35 PM speedyboris
Is there an issue? Send a Message


* ''The Great Dickdater'': Dick's unsuccessful flirting attempts with random women in the bookstore:

to:

* ''The Great Dickdater'': Dickdater'': The RunningGag of male characters gazing at passing women and saying in unison: "Niiiice."
**
Dick's unsuccessful flirting attempts with random women in the bookstore:
24th Oct '17 3:35:29 PM speedyboris
Is there an issue? Send a Message


** Dick says, "Well, things could be worse. I mean, if I'm going to be trapped with someone, I'm sure glad it's you." Mary merely gives him a [[DeathGlare cold stare]] that's just hilarious.

to:

** Dick says, "Well, things could be worse. I mean, if I'm going to be trapped with someone, I'm sure glad it's you. At least with you, I know that, no matter how hungry you get, I'm not going to wake up to find you gnawing at my leg." Mary merely gives him a [[DeathGlare cold stare]] that's just hilarious.
19th Oct '17 10:45:01 AM speedyboris
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

** Dick screwing up his "wiping Mary's memories" maneuver at first by chopping her neck, [[MoodWhiplash prompting Mary to exclaim "OW!"]]
16th Oct '17 4:51:39 PM speedyboris
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

** Don invites Dick to the policeman's ball:
--> '''Dick''': Will there be ladies?\\
'''Don''': How does a room full of drunken meter maids sound?\\
'''Dick''': Very promising!
** At the ball, one of the dances is ladies' choice. The women grab all the men in the room except Don and Dick; one woman runs up to the two, and awkwardly runs away empty-handed.
--> '''Don''': Dick, have I told you that I've been in therapy for the past 5 years?\\
'''Dick''': No. Is it helping?\\
''(the group congas past them)''\\
'''Don''': Not right now, it isn't.
16th Oct '17 10:50:30 AM speedyboris
Is there an issue? Send a Message


** Sally and a reluctant Tommy playing Barbie.

to:

** Sally and a reluctant Tommy (sporting pigtails!) playing Barbie.
16th Oct '17 10:49:54 AM speedyboris
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

** Moments later, the two kiss, and Mary apparently tastes something funny:
--> '''Mary''': ...Did you kiss that dead chipmunk?\\
'''Dick''': Not on the lips. ''(Mary groans)''
15th Oct '17 11:18:40 AM speedyboris
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

** Sally and a reluctant Tommy playing Barbie.
--> '''Sally''': ''(as Barbie)'' "Okay, Ken, so what do you want to do today?"\\
'''Tommy''': ''(as Ken)'' "Hmm, nothing that involves bending my knees or elbows."\\
'''Sally''': "Okay, well, have a great day at work."\\
'''Tommy''': "I will. And while there, I'll earn 25% more than you because I'm a man."\\
'''Sally''': "That's not fair. I'm going to sue you in Malibu dream court."\\
'''Tommy''': "Don't get your mink in a bunch, precious."\\
'''Sally''': Well, now you're talking down to me. So now I have to rip your head off. ''(rips Ken's head off)''\\
'''Tommy''': ''(hurt)'' You don't play right!
15th Oct '17 7:33:34 AM speedyboris
Is there an issue? Send a Message

Added DiffLines:

** When Mary orders lobster at a restaurant:
--> '''Dick''': ''(offended)'' Mary, how could you? How could you do this to Chippy?\\
'''Mary''': I'm not eating Chippy.\\
'''Dick''': Oh, not now, but where will this carnage end?\\
'''Mary''': ''(fed up)'' Dick, sit down and eat your beets.


Added DiffLines:

** Dick and Mary on the roof after Dick kills an endangered peregrine falcon:
--> '''Dick''': Oh! I'm a menace to my fellow creatures.\\
'''Mary''': Well, you can't save every living creature. Some live, some die, that's just life happening.\\
'''Dick''': That's just animals. What about us?\\
'''Mary''': We ARE animals! We eat like animals, sleep like animals, have sex like animals.\\
'''Dick''': Oh yeah, especially after a bottle of Tequila.\\
'''Mary''': Oh, yeah. Just be grateful you're at the top of the food chain and nothing eats you.\\
'''Dick''': Oh, yeah? What about that shark in ''Film/{{Jaws}}''? He's so scary.\\
'''Mary''': Fine, have it your way. The whole world is just one giant savage smorgasbord. And if you don't like it, I'm afraid you're just gonna have to build a rocket and jet off to some kinder, gentler planet.\\
'''Dick''': Oh, yeah, no, that would be the ''easy'' way out.
This list shows the last 10 events of 211. Show all.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.ThirdRockFromTheSun