History Funny / TheThirteenthWarrior

* Ahmad has his face clawed after the first encounter with the Wendol. A Norse woman starts to tend his wounds, while he keeps hissing out of pain from what appears to be few harmless, shallow cuts. Then she starts applying an ointment, which is revealed to be boiled-down cow urine (ammonia is a strong antiseptic). Ahmad panics about such filth being put on his face, demanding clean water instead. The woman nods in agreement, but then describes the fever and infection he will get by the morning if she's not allowed to finish her job. Ahmad eagerly allows her to cover the rest of his wounds with the ointment.

--> '''Weath:''' Give an Arab a sword and he makes a knife!
--> (Ahmad shows of his skills, eventually pointing the blade at Weath, who doesn't even blink)

* After having to listen to his horse being called a dog for the n-th time, Ahmad decided to show off the remaining 12 what he and his mount are capable off. After few impressive jumps, including one over Weath's own horse (and throwing him off the saddle into mud), he catches up with rest of the group

--->'''Ahmad''': What he said?

-->'''Buliwyf''': (Jokingly) So, the dog can jump

--> [''Upon learning that the "fire wyrm" is an army of men carrying torches'']

--> '''Herger''' The way we'll know is: if they don't follow us it's too far to swim!

[''Camera pans to Herger sharpening his sword and shields laying at his feet'']

-->'''Ahmad:''' My mother (All the Norsemen instantly get silent, stunned) was a pure woman from a noble family. ({{beat}}) And I, at least, know who my father is, you pig-eating son of a whore!

-->'''Ahmad''': What he said?
-->'''Melchisidek''': "Don't Arabs believe in cleanliness?"

--> '''Herger:''' An engineering dispute... [''camera pans to Herger sharpening his sword and shields laying at his feet'']

-->'''Buliwyf''': (jokingly) So, the dog can jump

--> [''upon learning that the "fire wyrm" is an army of men carrying torches'']

-->'''Herger:''' [''holding his arms out in a shrug while smiling''] Grow stronger.

* Having to listen his horse being called a dog for the n-th time, Ahmad decided to show off the remaining 12 what he and his mount are capable off. After few impressive jumps, including one over Weath's own horse (and throwing him off the saddle into mud), he catches up with rest of the group
-->'''Buliwyf :''' (jokingly) So, the dog can jump

* In the morning, the vikings starts passing among themselves a bowl full of water. Some drink from it. Other gargle their throats and spit the water back. Some wash their hands, after blowing their noses into them. Ahmad, immaculately clean and sitting in his most elegant robe, observes it all with increasing disgust. Eventually the bowl is passed to ''him'', with no ill intentions and as a sign of good manners toward a guest. By this point he looks as if he was about to throw up into the bowl.

* After a heavy party, the vikings starts passing among themselves a bowl full of water. Some drink from it. Other gargle their throats and spit the water back. Some wash their hands, after blowing their noses into them. Ahmad, immaculately clean and sitting in his most elegant robe, observes it all with increasing disgust. Eventually the bowl is passed to ''him'', with no ill intentions and as a sign of good manners toward a guest. By this point he looks as if he was about to throw up into the bowl.

* After his horse is called a dog for the n-th time, Ahmad decided to show off the remaining 12 what he and his mount are capable off. After few impressive jumps, including one over Weath's own horse (and throwing him off the saddle into mud), he catches up with rest of the group

* After the first encounter with the Wendol, Ahmad has his face clawed. A Norse woman starts to tend his wound, while he keeps hissing out of pain from what appears to be few harmless, shallow cuts. Then she starts applying an ointment, which is revealed to be boiled-down cow urine (ammonia is a strong antiseptic). Ahmad panics about such filth being put on his face, demanding clean water instead. The woman nods in agreement, but then describes the fever and infection he will get by the morning if she's not allowed to finish her job. Ahmad instantly puts his face for more of the ointment.

--> '''Herger''' The way we'll know is: if they don't follow us it's too far to swim!
* After the first encounter with the Wendol, Ahmad has his face clawed. A Norse woman starts to tend his wound, while he keeps hissing out of pain from what appears to be few harmless, shallow cuts. Then she starts applying an ointment, which is revealed to be boiled-down cow urine (ammonia is a strong antiseptic). Ahmad panics about such filth being put on his face, demanding clean water instead. The woman nods in agreement, but then describes the fever and infection he will get by the morning if she's not allowed to finish her job. Ahmad instantly puts his face for more of the ointment.

--> '''Herger''' The way we'll know is: if they don't follow us it's too far to swim!

--> ...

...

--> [''upon learning that he's going to fight an army of enemy warriors'']

--> '''Herger:''' An engineering dispute... [''camera pans to Herger sharpening his sword and shields laying at his feet'']

* Herger throws Ahmad a sword, which is rather unwieldy for the aristocratic poet:

--> (Upon learning that he's going to fight an army of enemy warriors) ''"I'd rather fight a dragon."''

--> '''Herger:''' An engineering dispute [Camera pans on Herger sharpening his sword and shields laying on his feet]

--> (Upon learning that he's going to fight an army of enemy warriors) ''"I'd rather fight a dragon."''

* (Upon learning that he's going to fight an army of humanoid monsters) ''"I'd rather fight a dragon."''