History Funny / TheNostalgiaCritic2012Episodes

8th Oct '17 3:21:44 PM TheAmazingBlachman
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--->'''Phelous:''' [[CallBack Let it go]].\\

to:

--->'''Phelous:''' -->'''Phelous:''' [[CallBack Let it go]].\\
20th Sep '17 9:25:45 AM CosmicFerret
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* The review begins with the Critic being interrupted by [[CloudCuckooLander Dr. Bitch Spasms]]--a parody of Creator/RobinWilliams!PatchAdams--goofing around, throwing a red nose at him, and spin-hopping away cartoonishly while whooping like WesternAnimation/DaffyDuck... which becomes a RunningGag!

to:

* The review begins with the Critic being interrupted by [[CloudCuckooLander Dr. Bitch Spasms]]--a parody of Creator/RobinWilliams!PatchAdams--goofing Creator/RobinWilliams!Film/PatchAdams--goofing around, throwing a red nose at him, and spin-hopping away cartoonishly while whooping like WesternAnimation/DaffyDuck... which becomes a RunningGag!



* Combining the Robin Williams' inspirational speech and playing it with the speeches from ''PatchAdams'' and ''Film/MrsDoubtfire''.

to:

* Combining the Robin Williams' inspirational speech and playing it with the speeches from ''PatchAdams'' ''Film/PatchAdams'' and ''Film/MrsDoubtfire''.
26th Aug '17 7:03:25 PM TheAmazingBlachman
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--->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ([[{{Squick}} With clear disgust]]) "[[IKEAErotica Christian squirts baby oil into his hand, and rubs my behind with careful tenderness?]]"\\

to:

--->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' --->'''Critic:''' ([[{{Squick}} With clear disgust]]) "[[IKEAErotica Christian squirts baby oil into his hand, and rubs my behind with careful tenderness?]]"\\



-->'''"Nostalgia Critic"''': Does that answer your question?
-->'''Fan''': ... No...
--> '''Brentalfloss / Uncle Yo''': *''Both pop out from behind the Critic''* '''Tough!'''

to:

-->'''"Nostalgia Critic"''': --->'''"Nostalgia Critic":''' Does that answer your question?
-->'''Fan''': ... No...
-->
question?\\
'''Fan:''' ... No...\\
'''Brentalfloss / and Uncle Yo''': *''Both Yo:''' ''(both pop out from behind the Critic''* Critic)'' '''Tough!'''



-->'''Uncle Yo''': Do you know what this calls for?
-->'''Brentalfloss''': What's that?
-->'''Uncle Yo''': More ''Fifty Shades of Grey''!
-->'''Brentalfloss''': Alright!
-->''*They flip through the book*''
-->'''Brentalfloss''': Done that, done that, done ''that'', wanna do that.
-->'''Uncle Yo''': [[NoodleImplements I have a Saint Bernard,]] [[BestialityIsDepraved you wanna borrow it?]]

to:

-->'''Uncle Yo''': Yo:''' Do you know what this calls for?
-->'''Brentalfloss''':
for?\\
'''Brentalfloss:'''
What's that?
-->'''Uncle Yo''':
that?\\
'''Uncle Yo:'''
More ''Fifty Shades of Grey''!
-->'''Brentalfloss''': Alright!
-->''*They
Grey''!\\
'''Brentalfloss:''' Alright!\\
''(they
flip through the book*''
-->'''Brentalfloss''':
book)''\\
'''Brentalfloss:'''
Done that, done that, done ''that'', wanna do that.
-->'''Uncle Yo''':
that.\\
'''Uncle Yo:'''
[[NoodleImplements I have a Saint Bernard,]] [[BestialityIsDepraved you wanna borrow it?]]



-->"[[spoiler:'''''[[Film/{{Troll 2}} OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!]]''''']]"

to:

-->"[[spoiler:'''''[[Film/{{Troll --->"[[spoiler:'''''[[Film/{{Troll 2}} OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!]]''''']]"



-->'''Critic:''' You might be thinking that the Creator/DisneyChannel is airing their production of ''Film/SchindlersList''..."

to:

-->'''Critic:''' You might be thinking that the Creator/DisneyChannel is airing their production of ''Film/SchindlersList''..."



-->'''‘80s Dan:''' Horrendous!
-->'''Dolly:''' Poppy shit.
-->'''‘80s Dan:''' [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs It's horrendous poppy shit.]]
-->'''Mr. Crabtree:''' Anus bubble.
-->'''Mrs. Crabtree:''' Cancer sore.
-->'''Mr. Crabtree:''' Vomit dick.
-->'''Dolly:''' Douche sucker.
-->'''‘80s Dan:''' Turd!
-->'''R.O.B. the Robot:''' Well, I, for one, ''loved'' it.
-->'''Mr. Crabtree:''' Shut up, Rob.
-->'''R.O.B. the Robot:''' You’re a dick!
-->''(canned studio laughter)''

to:

-->'''‘80s Dan:''' Horrendous!
-->'''Dolly:'''
Horrendous!\\
'''Dolly:'''
Poppy shit.
-->'''‘80s
shit.\\
'''‘80s
Dan:''' [[BreadEggsBreadedEggs It's horrendous poppy shit.]]
-->'''Mr.
]]\\
'''Mr.
Crabtree:''' Anus bubble.
-->'''Mrs.
bubble.\\
'''Mrs.
Crabtree:''' Cancer sore.
-->'''Mr.
sore.\\
'''Mr.
Crabtree:''' Vomit dick.
-->'''Dolly:'''
dick.\\
'''Dolly:'''
Douche sucker.
-->'''‘80s
sucker.\\
'''‘80s
Dan:''' Turd!
-->'''R.
Turd!\\
'''R.
O.B. the Robot:''' Well, I, for one, ''loved'' it.
-->'''Mr.
it.\\
'''Mr.
Crabtree:''' Shut up, Rob.
-->'''R.
Rob.\\
'''R.
O.B. the Robot:''' You’re You're a dick!
-->''(canned
dick!\\
''(canned
studio laughter)''



-->"''I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say Obama had a point!''"
-->"''I won't tell Glen (sic) Beck to stop crying again!''"
-->"''I swear I thought "Fair and Balanced" really WAS a joke!''"

to:

-->"''I'm -->"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say Obama had a point!''"
-->"''I
point!"\\
"I
won't tell Glen (sic) [sic] Beck to stop crying again!''"
-->"''I
again!"\\
"I
swear I thought "Fair and Balanced" really WAS a joke!''"joke!"



* During the bridge scene, the Critic cuts to The Cinema Snob's attempt in WebVideo/SuburbanKnights.
--> '''Critic''': Hehehe, I couldn't resist.

to:

* During the bridge scene, the Critic cuts to The Cinema Snob's attempt in WebVideo/SuburbanKnights.
--> '''Critic''':
''WebVideo/SuburbanKnights''.
-->'''Critic:'''
Hehehe, I couldn't resist.



--> '''Critic (as Indy)''': [[Film/ThePhantomMenace Midichlorians is a great idea!]] *EvilLaugh*

to:

--> '''Critic -->'''Critic (as Indy)''': Indy):''' [[Film/ThePhantomMenace Midichlorians is a great idea!]] *EvilLaugh*''(EvilLaugh)''



-->"Try 'em!"
-->"Wa-HA! Wa-HA! Wa-HA!"

to:

-->"Try 'em!"
-->"Wa-HA!
'em!"\\
-"Wa-HA!
Wa-HA! Wa-HA!"



-->"Is there anything more annoying than someone that just screams every other line they say? ''I MEAN, THAT’S REALLY OBNOXIOUS!!!''"

to:

-->"Is --->"Is there anything more annoying than someone that just screams every other line they say? ''I MEAN, THAT’S REALLY OBNOXIOUS!!!''"



-->"Oh, I'll get you my pretty."
-->"There's no place like hoes."
-->"Hookers, hotties and babes, oh my!"

to:

-->"Oh, I'll get you my pretty."
-->"There's
"\\
"There's
no place like hoes."
-->"Hookers,
"\\
"Hookers,
hotties and babes, oh my!"



-->'''Critic:''' Maybe now, I can get some rest and relax-friggin'-ation...
-->'''Linkara:''' *''walks on-screen, sits next to the Critic''* Hello everybody, and welcome to yet another Linkara and Nostalgia Critic crossover, where we talk about the ''Swamp Thing'' movie!
-->*''POW!!!''*

to:

-->'''Critic:''' Maybe now, I can get some rest and relax-friggin'-ation...
-->'''Linkara:''' *''walks
relax-friggin'-ation...\\
'''Linkara:''' ''(walks
on-screen, sits next to the Critic''* Critic)'' Hello everybody, and welcome to yet another Linkara and Nostalgia Critic crossover, where we talk about the ''Swamp Thing'' movie!
-->*''POW!!!''*
movie!\\
*''POW!!!''*



-->*''voice breaking''* "... I need an adult."

to:

-->*''voice breaking''* -->''(voice breaking)'' "... I need an adult."



-->'''Todd:''' Okay, why exactly ''can't'' they catch a cab? Because they're black? [[FridgeLogic But]] ''[[FridgeLogic everyone's]]'' [[FridgeLogic black in this univ--]] ... Whatever.

to:

-->'''Todd:''' Okay, why exactly ''can't'' they catch a cab? Because they're black? [[FridgeLogic But]] ''[[FridgeLogic everyone's]]'' [[FridgeLogic black in this univ--]] ... univ]]-- ...Whatever.



-->'''Todd:''' ... Michael Jackson's magnum opus: ''Moonwalker''!
-->'''Critic:''' Did it.
-->'''Todd:''' ''Cool As Ice''!
-->'''Critic:''' Did it.
-->'''Todd:''' ''Glitter''.
-->'''Critic:''' ''You'' did it.
-->'''Todd:''' Seriously? Man, I gotta start watching my own stuff.

to:

-->'''Todd:''' ... Michael Jackson's magnum opus: ''Moonwalker''!
-->'''Critic:'''
''Moonwalker''!\\
'''Critic:'''
Did it.
-->'''Todd:'''
it.\\
'''Todd:'''
''Cool As Ice''!
-->'''Critic:'''
Ice''!\\
'''Critic:'''
Did it.
-->'''Todd:''' ''Glitter''.
-->'''Critic:'''
it.\\
'''Todd:''' ''Glitter''?\\
'''Critic:'''
''You'' did it.
-->'''Todd:'''
it.\\
'''Todd:'''
Seriously? Man, I gotta start watching my own stuff.



-->'''Dorothy''': Oh, Auntie Em, I had the most awful dream! And you weren't there, and you weren't there, none of you were there, oh, I'm so glad to be home!
-->'''Auntie Em''': Are you still here? Why haven't you moved out yet?!

to:

-->'''Dorothy''': -->'''Dorothy:''' Oh, Auntie Em, I had the most awful dream! And you weren't there, and you weren't there, none of you were there, oh, I'm so glad to be home!
-->'''Auntie Em''':
home!\\
'''Auntie Em:'''
Are you still here? Why haven't you moved out yet?!



-->'''Todd:''' You know, [[NinjaPirateZombieRobot blizzard tornadoes.]] [[InsaneTrollLogic Happens all the time in New York. Along with the earthquake volcanoes.]]

to:

-->'''Todd:''' You know, [[NinjaPirateZombieRobot blizzard tornadoes.]] tornadoes]]. [[InsaneTrollLogic Happens all the time in New York. Along with the earthquake volcanoes.]]



-->'''Critic:''' What, does he put [[Film/BatmanAndRobin bat-nipples]] on the Tin Man?
-->'''Todd:''' Come on. It's a great play, it's a great iconic story. Who could screw that up?
-->'''Critic:''' Schumacher could find a way. Everything he touches turns to dick. *''beat''* And that's not a reference to his homosexuality. I think he's just a terrible storyteller.

to:

-->'''Critic:''' What, does he put [[Film/BatmanAndRobin bat-nipples]] on the Tin Man?
-->'''Todd:'''
Man?\\
'''Todd:'''
Come on. It's a great play, it's a great iconic story. Who could screw that up?
-->'''Critic:'''
up?\\
'''Critic:'''
Schumacher could find a way. Everything he touches turns to dick. *''beat''* ''(beat)'' And that's not a reference to his homosexuality. I think he's just a terrible storyteller.



-->'''Todd:''' ... mother.

to:

-->'''Todd:''' ...--->'''Todd:''' ... mother.



-->'''Lori:''' Sweetheart, be reasonable. After all, we're married! (gets a headshot)
-->'''Douglas Quaid:''' Consider that a divorce! "''[[Series/CSIMiami YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!]]''"

to:

-->'''Lori:''' Sweetheart, be reasonable. After all, we're married! (gets ''(gets a headshot)
-->'''Douglas
headshot)''\\
'''Douglas
Quaid:''' Consider that a divorce! "''[[Series/CSIMiami YYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!]]''"



-->'''Critic:''' So, our movie opens up with an obnoxious ripoff--I mean tribute to the titles in the ''Franchise/{{Terminator}}'' movie; mixing it to look like the ''Film/{{Superman}}'' credits are melting.
-->'''Guy:''' *''reading names appearing on-screen''* Sharon Stone, huh?
-->'''Critic:''' Opinion lowers.
-->'''Guy:''' Michael Ironside.
-->'''Critic:''' Opinion rises!
-->'''Guy:''' Hey, Ronny Cox.
-->'''Critic:''' Yeah, I came down with a case of that. Penicillin knocked it right out.

to:

-->'''Critic:''' So, our movie opens up with an obnoxious ripoff--I mean tribute to the titles in the ''Franchise/{{Terminator}}'' movie; mixing it to look like the ''Film/{{Superman}}'' credits are melting.
-->'''Guy:''' *''reading
melting.\\
'''Guy:''' ''(reading
names appearing on-screen''* on-screen)'' Sharon Stone, huh?
-->'''Critic:'''
huh?\\
'''Critic:'''
Opinion lowers.
-->'''Guy:'''
lowers.\\
'''Guy:'''
Michael Ironside.
-->'''Critic:'''
Ironside.\\
'''Critic:'''
Opinion rises!
-->'''Guy:'''
rises!\\
'''Guy:'''
Hey, Ronny Cox.
-->'''Critic:'''
Cox.\\
'''Critic:'''
Yeah, I came down with a case of that. Penicillin knocked it right out.



-->'''Critic!!Arnold:''' I am working on my one-liner for your death scene even as we speak!

to:

-->'''Critic!!Arnold:''' -->'''Critic (as Arnold):''' I am working on my one-liner for your death scene even as we speak!



-->'''Critic!!Arnold:''' [[HurricaneOfPuns I'll lend you a hand! We'll have a farewell to arms! It won't be too limiting!]] [[DontExplainTheJoke Get it? Because I took your limbs!]]

to:

-->'''Critic!!Arnold:''' -->'''Critic (as Arnold):''' [[HurricaneOfPuns I'll lend you a hand! We'll have a farewell to arms! It won't be too limiting!]] [[DontExplainTheJoke Get it? Because I took your limbs!]]



-->'''Critic''': Yes, hello Rekall? I'll need [[NoodleImplements one thousand pounds of unsalted butter and then an exquisite chinchilla]], and once it's all introduced into the--
-->'''Guy''': Uhhh...''what??''
-->'''Critic''': PRIVATE CONVERSATION!!! *''brings down a green screen reading "PRIVATE CONVERSATION (Let pervs be pervs)" as lounge music plays*''

to:

-->'''Critic''': -->'''Critic:''' Yes, hello Rekall? I'll need [[NoodleImplements one thousand pounds of unsalted butter and then an exquisite chinchilla]], and once it's all introduced into the--
-->'''Guy''':
the--\\
'''Guy''':
Uhhh...''what??''
-->'''Critic''':
''what??''\\
'''Critic''':
PRIVATE CONVERSATION!!! *''brings ''(brings down a green screen reading "PRIVATE CONVERSATION (Let pervs be pervs)" as lounge music plays*''plays)''



--->'''Guy''': ''({{Beat}} after [[OhCrap going wide-eyed]])'' There is no conclusive evidence one way or another.

to:

--->'''Guy''': ''({{Beat}} --->'''Guy:''' ''({{beat}} after [[OhCrap going wide-eyed]])'' There is no conclusive evidence one way or another.



-->'''Young!Critic:''' They say it's a satirical, hip new look at the characters I know and love.
-->'''Critic:''' But it's not well done. It's just a corporate sellout.
-->'''Young!Critic:''' Oh. Well, forget it, I hate corporate sellouts. They're all narcs! They can all just kiss my ass! [[HypocriticalHumor Hey, by the way, what's it like making bajillions of dollars selling your ideas?]]
** The above exchange leads to the Critic to insist against Young!Critic making videos, before coming up with a crude explanation why not: he tells Young!Critic that one day MaraWilson will use his videos to blackmail him, to which Young!Critic replies: "...Dude, that's seriously the best you can do?"

to:

-->'''Young!Critic:''' They say it's a satirical, hip new look at the characters I know and love.
-->'''Critic:'''
love.\\
'''Critic:'''
But it's not well done. It's just a corporate sellout.
-->'''Young!Critic:'''
sellout.\\
'''Young!Critic:'''
Oh. Well, forget it, I hate corporate sellouts. They're all narcs! They can all just kiss my ass! [[HypocriticalHumor Hey, by the way, what's it like making bajillions of dollars selling your ideas?]]
** The above exchange leads to the Critic to insist against Young!Critic making videos, before coming up with a crude explanation why not: he tells Young!Critic that one day MaraWilson Creator/MaraWilson will use his videos to blackmail him, to which Young!Critic replies: "...Dude, that's seriously the best you can do?"



-->'''Young!Critic:''' Do I have to become you?
-->'''Critic:''' [[ItMakesSenseInContext It works in context!]]

to:

-->'''Young!Critic:''' --->'''Young!Critic:''' Do I have to become you?
-->'''Critic:'''
you?\\
'''Critic:'''
[[ItMakesSenseInContext It works in context!]]



-->'''Old!Critic''': Hey look, Velma's talking to a guy for a minute. I guess that means they're gonna get together at the end.
-->'''Young!Critic''': Oh, please. Everybody knows that [[LesYay she's saving herself for Daphne]].

to:

-->'''Old!Critic''': Hey look, -->'''Old!Critic:''' Hey, look! Velma's talking to a guy for a minute. I guess that means they're gonna get together at the end.
-->'''Young!Critic''':
end.\\
'''Young!Critic:'''
Oh, please. Everybody knows that [[LesYay she's saving herself for Daphne]].



-->'''Old!Critic''': Called it!
-->*''the other Critics start complaining''*

to:

-->'''Old!Critic''': --->'''Old!Critic:''' Called it!
-->*''the ''(the other Critics start complaining''*complaining)''



-->'''Old!Critic:''' ...This movie was intended for children, right?
-->'''Young!Critic:''' I don't think it was intended for ''anybody''.

to:

-->'''Old!Critic:''' ...This movie was intended for children, right?
-->'''Young!Critic:'''
right?\\
'''Young!Critic:'''
I don't think it was intended for ''anybody''.



-->'''Dan''': Well, I think I'm gonna win tonight, because I've been studying both your poker faces.
-->'''[[TheFaceless Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come]]''': [[SarcasmMode ...Good luck with that.]]

to:

-->'''Dan''': -->'''Dan:''' Well, I think I'm gonna win tonight, because I've been studying both your poker faces.
faces.\\
-->'''[[TheFaceless Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come]]''': Come]]:''' [[SarcasmMode ...Good luck with that.]]



-->'''Rob''': I'm a dinosaur.
-->'''Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come''': This is undisputably true.

to:

-->'''Rob''': --->'''Rob:''' I'm a dinosaur.
-->'''Ghost '''Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come''': Come:''' This is undisputably true.



-->'''Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come''': You know, we already have cards--
-->'''[[spoiler: Critic]]''': Don't ruin the moment.

to:

-->'''Ghost --->'''Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come''': Come:''' You know, we already have cards--
-->'''[[spoiler: Critic]]''':
cards--\\
'''[[spoiler: Critic]]:'''
Don't ruin the moment.



-->'''Fred''': Scrappy, I told you: no urinating on Daphne!
-->'''Critic''': That's ''my'' job!

to:

-->'''Fred''': -->'''Fred:''' Scrappy, I told you: no urinating on Daphne!
-->'''Critic''':
Daphne!\\
'''Critic (as Fred):'''
That's ''my'' job!



-->'''Daphne''': Fred and Velma always figured out everything.
-->'''Critic!Shaggy''': My middle name is Judas!!

to:

-->'''Daphne''': -->'''Daphne:''' Fred and Velma always figured out everything.
-->'''Critic!Shaggy''':
everything.\\
'''Critic (as Shaggy):'''
My middle name is Judas!!



--> '''Critic:''' White people: Making life uncool since the dawn of time.

to:

--> '''Critic:''' -->'''Critic:''' White people: Making life uncool since the dawn of time.



--> '''Critic:''' You should totally meet her sister. POT!

to:

--> '''Critic:''' --->'''Critic:''' You should totally meet her sister. POT!



--> '''Young Critic:'''It's a satire! Name one time when a satire doesn't automatically make the film funny-''[the posters for three Creator/SeltzerAndFriedberg movies show up on the screen]'' I don't know what those are yet...

to:

--> '''Young Critic:'''It's -->'''Young Critic:''' It's a satire! Name one time when a satire doesn't automatically make the film funny-''[the posters for three Creator/SeltzerAndFriedberg movies show up on the screen]'' I don't know what those are yet...



25th Aug '17 12:12:32 PM TheAmazingBlachman
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Note: for the sake of this review, since this predated Jacob Chapman (formerly known as Hope Chapman) coming out as transgender, the examples will refer to him as "her", since he was a girl at the time of doing the review.

to:

Note: ->Note: for the sake of this review, readability, since this predated Jacob Chapman (formerly known as Hope Chapman) coming out as transgender, the examples will refer to him as "her", since he was a girl at the time of doing the review.
review, and some of the jokes are obviously written around this fact.



--> '''Angry Joe''': [[WebVideo/{{Kickassia}} Are we invading another micro-nation?]]

to:

--> '''Angry Joe''': ---->'''Angry Joe:''' [[WebVideo/{{Kickassia}} Are we invading another micro-nation?]]



--> '''Critic:''' You see that ''incredibly expensive'' spotlight being pointed in the sky?
--> '''JO:''' Uh, yeah, I thought that was for [[WebVideo/TheAngryJoeShow Angry Joe]], actually.

to:

--> '''Critic:''' --->'''Critic:''' You see that ''incredibly expensive'' spotlight being pointed in the sky?
-->
sky?\\
'''JO:''' Uh, yeah, I thought that was for [[WebVideo/TheAngryJoeShow Angry Joe]], actually.



-->'''Critic:''' [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Oh...]] ''[[UnusualEuphemism Joybunnies.]]''

to:

-->'''Critic:''' --->'''Critic:''' [[ThisIsGonnaSuck Oh...]] ''[[UnusualEuphemism Joybunnies.]]''



-->'''Critic:''' So it's a VideoGame/{{Tamagotchi}}?
-->'''JO''': Yeah, a Tamagotchi that '''[[MundaneMadeAwesome kicks ASS!]]'''
-->*''GilliganCut to [[GoodTimesMontage several scenes of Agumon crushing and exploding stuff]]''*

to:

-->'''Critic:''' --->'''Critic:''' So it's a VideoGame/{{Tamagotchi}}?
-->'''JO''':
VideoGame/{{Tamagotchi}}?\\
'''JO''':
Yeah, a Tamagotchi that '''[[MundaneMadeAwesome kicks ASS!]]'''
-->*''GilliganCut
ASS!]]'''\\
''(GilliganCut
to [[GoodTimesMontage several scenes of Agumon crushing and exploding stuff]]''*stuff]])''*



-->''Parrotmon flies in, and Tai responds, "Polly want a cracker? A really big cracker?
-->'''JO''': And that's why this movie ''sucks.''

to:

-->''Parrotmon -->''(Parrotmon flies in, and Tai responds, "Polly in)''\\
'''Tai:''' Polly
want a cracker? A really big cracker?
-->'''JO''': '''JO:''' And that's why this movie ''sucks.''



--> '''Narrator''': Critic opens refrigerator. Critic drinks milk. Critic gives incredibly annoyed look. Critic walks offscreen. Critic [[GroinAttack kicks the narrator in the balls]], ''*wham*'' [[InstantSoprano and the narrator feels incredible pain]].

to:

--> '''Narrator''': '''Narrator:''' Critic opens refrigerator. Critic drinks milk. Critic gives incredibly annoyed look. Critic walks offscreen. Critic [[GroinAttack kicks the narrator in the balls]], ''*wham*'' [[InstantSoprano '''*wham*''' [-[[InstantSoprano and the narrator feels incredible pain]].-]



--> '''Critic:''' Come on, is there anything more wasteful or useless than just looking at your computer screen for almost half an hour? *''[[HypocriticalHumour Both he and JO fall into awkward silence]].''*

to:

--> '''Critic:''' ''Critic:''' Come on, is there anything more wasteful or useless than just looking at your computer screen for almost half an hour? *''[[HypocriticalHumour Both hour?\\
''([[HypocriticalHumour both
he and JO fall into awkward silence]].''*silence]])''



-->'''Critic:''' *''laughs''* Wow. Prodigious! A hippie in a Prius!
-->'''JO:''' Prodigious! Creator/BenKingsley in a bad movie!
-->'''Critic:''' Prodigious! A thing that would very obviously be in another thing!
-->'''JO:''' Prodigious! [[StealthInsult A balding internet reviewer who screams a lot!]]
-->'''Critic:''' Prodigious! [[StealthInsult An anime fan who obviously takes herself way too seriously!]]

to:

-->'''Critic:''' *''laughs''* ''(laughs)'' Wow. Prodigious! A hippie in a Prius!
-->'''JO:'''
Prius!\\
'''JO:'''
Prodigious! Creator/BenKingsley in a bad movie!
-->'''Critic:'''
movie!\\
'''Critic:'''
Prodigious! A thing that would very obviously be in another thing!
-->'''JO:'''
thing!\\
'''JO:'''
Prodigious! [[StealthInsult A balding internet reviewer who screams a lot!]]
-->'''Critic:'''
lot!]]\\
'''Critic:'''
Prodigious! [[StealthInsult An anime fan who obviously takes herself way too seriously!]]



-->'''Critic:''' Harry Potter had a family, but he didn't like them, but it's okay because he's going to a school where others like him, and there's magic, and he's magic too. But there's a bad teacher who it turns out isn't bad, but then it turns out he is bad, but then it turns out that he isn't bad, maybe.
-->'''JO:''' There's also a bunch of bad kids and a bad guy with no nose and they're really evil, except for they might be good, except for one student who might be good, and there's also a teacher who might be good, might be evil, not entirely sure, and they all lived in three books pointlessly stretched out to seven, ever after.

to:

-->'''Critic:''' Harry Potter had a family, but he didn't like them, but it's okay because he's going to a school where others like him, and there's magic, and he's magic too. But there's a bad teacher who it turns out isn't bad, but then it turns out he is bad, but then it turns out that he isn't bad, maybe.
-->'''JO:'''
maybe.\\
'''JO:'''
There's also a bunch of bad kids and a bad guy with no nose and they're really evil, except for they might be good, except for one student who might be good, and there's also a teacher who might be good, might be evil, not entirely sure, and they all lived in three books pointlessly stretched out to seven, ever after.



-->'''Critic''': "[[SarcasmMode You can collect 'em all in each]] UsefulNotes/{{McDonalds}} [[SarcasmMode Happy Meal!]]"

to:

-->'''Critic''': "[[SarcasmMode -->'''Critic:''' [[SarcasmMode You can collect 'em all in each]] UsefulNotes/{{McDonalds}} [[SarcasmMode Happy Meal!]]"Meal!]]



-->'''JO''': (''in a very quiet voice'') I never said I wasn't.

to:

-->'''JO''': (''in --->'''JO:''' ''(in a very quiet voice'') voice)'' I never said I wasn't.



-->'''Kari''': I got my friend a pink [[Franchise/PowerRangers Power Ranger]]!
-->'''JO''': Guess what show the [[Creator/SabanEntertainment company who dubbed this]] ''also'' owned?
-->'''Critic''': ''(adamantly)'' ''[[WesternAnimation/YogiBear Yogi]] [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Bear]]''?
-->*''JO just stares at him blankly''*
-->'''Critic''': ...[[IThoughtItMeant I thought that]] [[CampGay maybe the Ranger went gay]].

to:

-->'''Kari''': -->'''Kari:''' I got my friend a pink [[Franchise/PowerRangers Power Ranger]]!
-->'''JO''':
Ranger]]!\\
'''JO:'''
Guess what show the [[Creator/SabanEntertainment company who dubbed this]] ''also'' owned?
-->'''Critic''':
owned?\\
'''Critic:'''
''(adamantly)'' ''[[WesternAnimation/YogiBear Yogi]] [[ComicallyMissingThePoint Bear]]''?
-->*''JO
Bear]]''?\\
''(JO
just stares at him blankly''*
-->'''Critic''': ...
blankly)''\\
'''Critic:''' ...
[[IThoughtItMeant I thought that]] [[CampGay maybe the Ranger went gay]].



-->'''JO''': [[OhCrap Oh, fuck me]], [[ThisIsGonnaSuck I forgot about this part...]]
-->'''Critic''': ([[ShoutOut doing his best impression of]] [[DrillSergeantNasty Sergeant]] [[Film/FullMetalJacket Hartman]]) '''WHAT the FUCK is that?!''' [[MistakenIdentity God, these Digimon are even more hideous than I imagined!]]
** Made better in the commentary: JO says (s)he actually ''did'' forget about that sequence until (s)he had to watch the movie again for the review.

-->'''Critic''': [[DisneyAcidSequence It's like an extreme night terror]] [[PinkElephants if you passed out drinking moonshine]] [[ShoutOut while watching]] Creator/TerryGilliam [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment cartoons]]!

-->'''Critic:''' What's next, [[WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants SpongeBob]] racing in to see ''Film/TheLastAirbender''?
--> *''the [[NeverLiveItDown infamous]] [[MemeticMutation Pebble Dance scene]] plays''*
--> '''SpongeBob''': Boy, Shyamalan needs to throw in the towel.
--> '''Sandy''': I thought there were [[Film/{{Avatar}} blue cats]] in this.

to:

-->'''JO''': -->'''JO:''' [[OhCrap Oh, fuck me]], [[ThisIsGonnaSuck I forgot about this part...]]
-->'''Critic''': ([[ShoutOut
]]\\
'''Critic:''' ''([[ShoutOut
doing his best impression of]] [[DrillSergeantNasty Sergeant]] [[Film/FullMetalJacket Hartman]]) Hartman]])'' '''WHAT the FUCK is that?!''' [[MistakenIdentity God, these Digimon are even more hideous than I imagined!]]
** Made better in the commentary: JO says (s)he actually ''did'' forget about that sequence until (s)he had to watch the movie again for the review.

-->'''Critic''':
review.
--->'''Critic''':
[[DisneyAcidSequence It's like an extreme night terror]] [[PinkElephants if you passed out drinking moonshine]] [[ShoutOut while watching]] Creator/TerryGilliam [[BigLippedAlligatorMoment cartoons]]!

-->'''Critic:'''
cartoons]]!\\\
'''Critic:'''
What's next, [[WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants SpongeBob]] racing in to see ''Film/TheLastAirbender''?
--> *''the
''Film/TheLastAirbender''?\\
''(the
[[NeverLiveItDown infamous]] [[MemeticMutation Pebble Dance scene]] plays''*
--> '''SpongeBob''':
plays)''\\
'''[[WesternAnimation/SpongeBobSquarePants SpongeBob]]:'''
Boy, Shyamalan needs to throw in the towel.
--> '''Sandy''':
towel.\\
'''Sandy:'''
I thought there were [[Film/{{Avatar}} blue cats]] in this.



-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Sing ''Indiana Jones''.
-->'''Nostalgia Critic/Other Guy:''' *''does so''*
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Now, sing ''Superman''.
-->'''Nostalgia Critic/Other Guy:''' *''starts to sing ''Indiana Jones'' but realizes it's the same in the first few bars''* ...''Superman''.

to:

-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Sing ''Indiana Jones''.
-->'''Nostalgia
Jones''.\\
'''Nostalgia
Critic/Other Guy:''' *''does so''*
-->'''Nostalgia
''(does so)''\\
'''Nostalgia
Critic:''' Now, sing ''Superman''.
-->'''Nostalgia
''Superman''.\\
'''Nostalgia
Critic/Other Guy:''' *''starts ''(starts to sing ''Indiana Jones'' but realizes it's the same in the first few bars''* ...bars)'' ...''Superman''.



-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ([[{{Squick}} With clear disgust]]) "[[IKEAErotica Christian squirts baby oil into his hand, and rubs my behind with careful tenderness?]]"
-->'''''MORRR''-TAL KOM-''BAAAAT!!!'''''
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''[[MundaneMadeAwesome ...From makeup remover to soothing balm]] for a spanked ass! [[JustThinkOfThePotential Who'd have thought it was such a versatile liquid?!]]'' '''[[LargeHam AAAAAAHHH!!!]]'''

to:

-->'''Nostalgia --->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ([[{{Squick}} With clear disgust]]) "[[IKEAErotica Christian squirts baby oil into his hand, and rubs my behind with careful tenderness?]]"
-->'''''MORRR''-TAL KOM-''BAAAAT!!!'''''
-->'''Nostalgia
tenderness?]]"\\
'''''MORRR''-TAL KOM-''BAAAAT!!!'''''\\
'''Nostalgia
Critic:''' ''[[MundaneMadeAwesome ...From makeup remover to soothing balm]] for a spanked ass! [[JustThinkOfThePotential Who'd have thought it was such a versatile liquid?!]]'' '''[[LargeHam AAAAAAHHH!!!]]'''



--> '''Critic:''' It's dark, it's brooding, it's mysterious. It builds up to a big payoff... [[SophisticatedAsHell and then it says]] [[PrecisionFStrike "Fuck off,]] [[CatchPhrase I'm Batman,]] [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch!"]]

to:

--> '''Critic:''' -->'''Critic:''' It's dark, it's brooding, it's mysterious. It builds up to a big payoff... [[SophisticatedAsHell and then it says]] [[PrecisionFStrike "Fuck off,]] [[CatchPhrase I'm Batman,]] [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch!"]]
10th Aug '17 12:56:03 PM TheAmazingBlachman
Is there an issue? Send a Message


--> '''Female Fish:''' Well? Did you see what they did with Howard's body?
--> '''Male Fish:''' *''resigned''* Yes. Yes, I did.
--> '''Female Fish:''' Please tell me the he's at least being used to feed a poor, starving family.
--> '''Male Fish''': No, he's... *''deep breath''* He's being used for a live-action version of ''Mr. Magoo''.
--> '''Female Fish:''' *''in anguish''* ''[[BigNo NOOOOOOO-O-O-O-O!!!]]'' Warner Brothers or Disney?
--> '''Male Fish:''' *''whispers''* Disney.
--> '''Female Fish:''' '''[[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!]]'''

to:

--> '''Female -->'''Female Fish:''' Well? Did you see what they did with Howard's body?
-->
body?\\
'''Male Fish:''' *''resigned''* ''(resigned)'' Yes. Yes, I did.
-->
did.\\
'''Female Fish:''' Please tell me the he's at least being used to feed a poor, starving family.
-->
family.\\
'''Male Fish''': No, he's... *''deep breath''* ''(deep breath)'' He's being used for a live-action version of ''Mr. Magoo''.
-->
Magoo''.\\
'''Female Fish:''' *''in anguish''* ''(in anguish)'' ''[[BigNo NOOOOOOO-O-O-O-O!!!]]'' Warner Brothers or Disney?
-->
Disney?\\
'''Male Fish:''' *''whispers''* Disney.
-->
''(whispers)'' Disney.\\
'''Female Fish:''' '''[[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!]]'''



--> '''Female Chicken:''' Did you find Daniel's body?
--> '''Male Chicken:''' Yes.
--> '''Female Chicken''' So, are they putting him to good use?
--> '''Male Chicken:''' Well, you see, Disney--
--> '''Female Chicken:''' '''''[[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!]]'''''

to:

--> '''Female --->'''Female Chicken:''' Did you find Daniel's body?
-->
body?\\
'''Male Chicken:''' Yes.
-->
Yes.\\
'''Female Chicken''' So, are they putting him to good use?
-->
use?\\
'''Male Chicken:''' Well, you see, Disney--
-->
Disney--\\
'''Female Chicken:''' '''''[[BigNo NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!]]'''''



-->'''Cooking Show Host:''' Next, I want you to-
-->*''channel changes''*
-->'''Porn Star:''' ...put your big long cock inside me.
-->'''Critic!Magoo:''' Well, okay, if it insists! *''[proceeds to [[BestialityIsDepraved hump the chicken]]; [[BlackComedyRape a "BA-CAW!" sound is played to accompany it]]]''

to:

-->'''Cooking Show Host:''' Next, I want you to-
-->*''channel changes''*
-->'''Porn
to--\\
''(channel changes)''\\
'''Porn
Star:''' ...put your big long cock inside me.
-->'''Critic!Magoo:'''
me.\\
'''Critic (as Mr. Magoo):'''
Well, okay, if it insists! *''[proceeds ''[proceeds to [[BestialityIsDepraved hump the chicken]]; [[BlackComedyRape a "BA-CAW!" sound is played to accompany it]]]''



-->'''Waldo:''' But who?
-->'''Critic:''' Oh gee, why not the blind man who time and time again has proven he's a constant threat to anything and anyone he comes across? Yeah, I'm down with this.

to:

-->'''Waldo:''' But who?
-->'''Critic:'''
who?\\
'''Critic:'''
Oh gee, why not the blind man who time and time again has proven he's a constant threat to anything and anyone he comes across? Yeah, I'm down with this.



-->'''Critic:''' So, they're under the impression that mobster billionaires are bad Guido Sarducci impersonators? ''[replays the scenes with Magoo talking, only with Leslie Nielsen audio dubbed over with [[Series/SaturdayNightLive Don Novello]] dialogue]''
-->'''Magoo!!Guido Sarducci:''' To be made a saint into the Catholic Church, you have to have the four miracles. I understand two of them was a card tricks.

to:

-->'''Critic:''' So, they're under the impression that mobster billionaires are bad Guido Sarducci impersonators? ''[replays the scenes with Magoo talking, only with Leslie Nielsen audio dubbed over with [[Series/SaturdayNightLive Don Novello]] dialogue]''
-->'''Magoo!!Guido
dialogue]''\\
'''Magoo!Guido
Sarducci:''' To be made a saint into the Catholic Church, you have to have the four miracles. I understand two of them was a card tricks.



-->'''Critic''': And now we take a look at just who's running this [[Film/MilkMoney so'op]]--Malcolm [=McDowell=]! God, I've seen this guy in so many of my reviews I should just have a warm glass from the [[Film/AClockworkOrange Korova Milk Bar]] waiting for him.

to:

-->'''Critic''': -->'''Critic:''' And now we take a look at just who's running this [[Film/MilkMoney so'op]]--Malcolm so'op]] -- Malcolm [=McDowell=]! God, I've seen this guy in so many of my reviews I should just have a warm glass from the [[Film/AClockworkOrange Korova Milk Bar]] waiting for him.



--> '''Critic:''' Oh good, [[TemptingFate the nephew will stop her]]!
--> ''*[[UselessProtagonist Magoo's nephew does absolutely nothing to stop her getaway]]*''
--> '''Critic:''' [[SarcasmMode ... Good job there]].

to:

--> '''Critic:''' Oh good, [[TemptingFate the nephew will stop her]]!
--> ''*[[UselessProtagonist
her]]!\\
''([[UselessProtagonist
Magoo's nephew does absolutely nothing to stop her getaway]]*''
-->
getaway]])''\\
'''Critic:''' [[SarcasmMode ... [[SarcasmMode ...Good job there]].



* "Oh my God, he's being invaded by [[Franchise/TheMuppets Kermit the Frog]]!"
-->"I understand you haven't subscribed to the Muppet Website/YouTube channel yet. Don't make me shove "The Rainbow Connection" up your ass!"
-->"It's not easy being ''dead''."

to:

* "Oh my God, he's being invaded by [[Franchise/TheMuppets Kermit the Frog]]!"
Frog]]!" and the resulting jokes:
-->"I understand you haven't subscribed to the Muppet Website/YouTube channel yet. Don't make me shove "The Rainbow Connection" up your ass!"
-->"It's
ass!"\\\
"It's
not easy being ''dead''."



-->"'''DUN-KO!'''"[[note]]"'''WOOD!'''"[[/note]]
-->"'''FAGH-NIS-CLAE!!'''"[[note]]"'''FUCK-MY-SHIT!!'''"[[/note]]
-->"Tooka, zeh e masa mada enda anus!"[[note]]"That's it, you're all getting anal-probed!"[[/note]]
-->"DUGO, NISANELLA!!"[[note]]"NO SHIT, [[Film/{{Gladiator}} COMMODUS]]!!"[[/note]]
-->"USISUNA!"[[note]]"Watch out!"[[/note]] *''window crashes''* "ISANE!!"[[note]]"'Damnit!!"[[/note]]

to:

-->"'''DUN-KO!'''"[[note]]"'''WOOD!'''"[[/note]]
-->"'''FAGH-NIS-CLAE!!'''"[[note]]"'''FUCK-MY-SHIT!!'''"[[/note]]
-->"Tooka,
-->"'''DUN-KO!'''"[[note]]"'''WOOD!'''"[[/note]]\\
"'''FAGH-NIS-CLAE!!'''"[[note]]"'''FUCK-MY-SHIT!!'''"[[/note]]\\
"Tooka,
zeh e masa mada enda anus!"[[note]]"That's it, you're all getting anal-probed!"[[/note]]
-->"DUGO,
anal-probed!"[[/note]]\\
"DUGO,
NISANELLA!!"[[note]]"NO SHIT, [[Film/{{Gladiator}} COMMODUS]]!!"[[/note]]
-->"USISUNA!"[[note]]"Watch
COMMODUS]]!!"[[/note]]\\
"USISUNA!"[[note]]"Watch
out!"[[/note]] *''window crashes''* ''(window crashes)'' "ISANE!!"[[note]]"'Damnit!!"[[/note]]



--> '''Gibson:''' YOU SHOULD JUST FUCKING ''SMIIIIILE''!! *''pant pant''* AND BLOW ME!!

to:

--> '''Gibson:''' -->'''Gibson:''' YOU SHOULD JUST FUCKING ''SMIIIIILE''!! *''pant pant''* ''(pant pant)'' AND BLOW ME!!



-->"Alien report: stepped on roof and swung on swing. Very confusing mission: accomplished. Will now go to Arkansas to put toast in toaster and slide down slide".

to:

-->"Alien --->"Alien report: stepped on roof and swung on swing. Very confusing mission: accomplished. Will now go to Arkansas to put toast in toaster and slide down slide".



-->'''Critic:''' Hell, YOU JUST SAID YOUR TWIST IN THE FIRST HALF OF THE MOVIE; I DON'T KNOW IF THAT EVEN MAKES IT A TWIST!!!

to:

-->'''Critic:''' --->'''Critic:''' Hell, YOU JUST SAID YOUR TWIST IN THE FIRST HALF OF THE MOVIE; I DON'T KNOW IF THAT EVEN MAKES IT A TWIST!!!



-->'''Critic:''' Err...okay, let's try this conversation again; you start with: "''HOLY SHIT, I GOT AN ALIEN IN MY HOUSE!! CALL THE COPS, CALL THE FBI!! CALL THE NEWS, THE WORLD DESERVES TO KNOW!!!''". Theeen you move on to: "oh, by the way, I'm sorry I hit your wife like I was playing a game of ''VideoGame/CrazyTaxi''."

to:

-->'''Critic:''' --->'''Critic:''' Err...okay, let's try this conversation again; you start with: "''HOLY SHIT, I GOT AN ALIEN IN MY HOUSE!! CALL THE COPS, CALL THE FBI!! CALL THE NEWS, THE WORLD DESERVES TO KNOW!!!''". Theeen you move on to: "oh, by the way, I'm sorry I hit your wife like I was playing a game of ''VideoGame/CrazyTaxi''."



-->'''Critic:''' You see what you did there, movie?! ''You see what you did??!'' '''[[FelonyMisdemeanor You just made Charlie Sheen]] [[DumbassHasAPoint right about something!!!]]'''

to:

-->'''Critic:''' --.>'''Critic:''' You see what you did there, movie?! ''You see what you did??!'' '''[[FelonyMisdemeanor You just made Charlie Sheen]] [[DumbassHasAPoint right about something!!!]]'''



-->'''Critic''': (While grabbing a wood stick) Excuse me, I have aliens at my door.
-->(Sound of the critic opening the door)
-->'''Aliens''': WOOD!
-->(Sound of the aliens having their asses handed to them)
-->'''Alien 2''': We REALLY suck at this.

to:

-->'''Critic''': (While -->'''Critic:''' (while grabbing a wood stick) stick)'' Excuse me, I have aliens at my door.
-->(Sound
door.\\
''(sound
of the critic opening the door)
-->'''Aliens''': WOOD!
-->(Sound
door)''\\
'''Aliens:''' WOOD!\\
''(sound
of the aliens having their asses handed to them)
-->'''Alien 2''':
them)''\\
'''Alien 2:'''
We REALLY suck at this.
8th Aug '17 2:18:05 PM TheAmazingBlachman
Is there an issue? Send a Message


'''Douchey:''' ''Because then I couldn't complain about it.''

to:

'''Douchey:''' ''Because then I couldn't complain about it.''it!''



-->'''Critic!Prime:''' Christ, Jerry. Did you see the look on their faces when I mentioned the movie? All that misguided optimism; it's like telling a blind kid they're gonna pet a bunny when really, it's a porcupine.
-->'''Jerry:''' Look, the product sells and you're still popular.
-->'''Critic!Prime:''' So is ''Series/JerseyShore''.
-->'''Jerry:''' Your last film grossed $1,123,000,000 worldwide.
-->'''Critic!Prime:''' But at what cost, Jerry? ''At what cost?''
-->'''Jerry:''' I told you: [[ComicallyMissingThePoint $1,123,000,000 worldwide]]. Now get some sleep, we've got some more auditions to get through. [[HookersAndBlow I'm gonna go do coke off a prostitute who's also doing coke in a hot tub]].
-->'''Critic!Prime:''' That's not physically possible.
-->'''Jerry:''' I'll find a way.

to:

-->'''Critic!Prime:''' Christ, Jerry. Did you see the look on their faces when I mentioned the movie? All that misguided optimism; it's like telling a blind kid they're gonna pet a bunny when really, it's a porcupine.
-->'''Jerry:'''
porcupine.\\
'''Jerry:'''
Look, the product sells and you're still popular.
-->'''Critic!Prime:'''
popular.\\
'''Critic!Prime:'''
So is ''Series/JerseyShore''.
-->'''Jerry:'''
''Series/JerseyShore''.\\
'''Jerry:'''
Your last film grossed $1,123,000,000 worldwide.
-->'''Critic!Prime:'''
worldwide.\\
'''Critic!Prime:'''
But at what cost, Jerry? ''At what cost?''
-->'''Jerry:'''
cost?!''\\
'''Jerry:'''
I told you: [[ComicallyMissingThePoint $1,123,000,000 worldwide]]. Now get some sleep, we've got some more auditions to get through. [[HookersAndBlow I'm gonna go do coke off a prostitute who's also doing coke in a hot tub]].
-->'''Critic!Prime:'''
tub]].\\
'''Critic!Prime:'''
That's not physically possible.
-->'''Jerry:'''
possible.\\
'''Jerry:'''
I'll find a way.



-->[[spoiler: '''Starscream:''' Starscream Cookies are more than meets the icing!]]
-->[[spoiler: '''Megatron:''' You're ''wrong'', Starscream!]]
-->[[spoiler: '''Starscream:''' I'm ''always'' wrong!]]

to:

-->[[spoiler: ---->[[spoiler: '''Starscream:''' Starscream Cookies are more than meets the icing!]]
-->[[spoiler:
icing!]]\\
[[spoiler:
'''Megatron:''' You're ''wrong'', Starscream!]]
-->[[spoiler:
Starscream!]]\\
[[spoiler:
'''Starscream:''' I'm ''always'' wrong!]]wrong!]]\\



-->[[Film/{{Commando}} "Fuck]] ''[[Film/{{Commando}} you]]''[[Film/{{Commando}} , asshole!"]]

to:

-->[[Film/{{Commando}} --.>[[Film/{{Commando}} "Fuck]] ''[[Film/{{Commando}} you]]''[[Film/{{Commando}} , asshole!"]]



-->'''Megatron:''' Soundwave, ready the army!
-->'''Soundwave:''' No -- I am tired of doing all the work and having no personality -- I want a StoryArc -- [[CharacterDevelopment something that gives me depth]] -- I want a romance -- yes -- a RomanticComedy -- perhaps a relationship with the toaster -- the toaster can be stuck up and high class -- I will be quirky and giving in to all sorts of antics -- [[BelligerentSexualTension at first she doesn't like me — but then — she admires my silly charm]] -- we get to know each other better -- [[ThirdActMisunderstanding but then she discovers — I was keeping a secret the whole time]] -- I try to explain I held this secret because I love her -- but she is too emotional and filled with hate -- so she decides to marry the snob -- [[DisposableFiance a real uptight guy]] with no funny lines -- [[WeddingDeadline she is about to be wed at the altar]] -- [[SpeakNowOrForeverHoldYourPeace but then — I come stumbling in — after going through some sort of comedic chase — I plead myself to her]] -- and at first -- it looks like she's not buying it -- but then -- her eyes tear up -- she turns around -- gives me a hug -- the snobby groom is angry -- but then -- my comedic {{sidekick}} comes in and punches him -- the crowd cheers -- I tell the toaster I love her -- she says she loves me -- we decide to get married but we do not show it on screen because two weddings would just be repetitive -- so we end with kind of an open ending -- something like we're driving a convertible into the sunset or something -- this leaves it open for a sequel -- I want to be played by Creator/ZacEfron -- and Creator/NataliePortman as the toaster -- there is a bit of an age difference but I think she looks young enough she can pull it off -- Creator/{{Disney}} has shown interest -- Gary Marshall is attached to direct -- it will be called ''Soundwaves of the Heart'' -- [[AvoidTheDreadedGRating it will be rated PG-13 for crude humor and adult situations]] -- but nothing too bad -- just enough to let the male demographic know that it's edgy and we'll have some gross out humor for them -- and the female demographic will instantly be drawn to the toaster -- [[EscapistCharacter they will be able to imagine themselves inserted into the role]] -- it will be released in summer preferably over a holiday weekend -- it will break records -- win awards -- it will be the SleeperHit of the year --
-->'''Megatron:''' '''''No!!'''''
-->'''Soundwave:''' Dammit --

to:

-->'''Megatron:''' Soundwave, ready the army!
-->'''Soundwave:'''
army!\\
'''Soundwave:'''
No -- I am tired of doing all the work and having no personality -- I want a StoryArc -- [[CharacterDevelopment something that gives me depth]] -- I want a romance -- yes -- a RomanticComedy -- perhaps a relationship with the toaster -- the toaster can be stuck up and high class -- I will be quirky and giving in to all sorts of antics -- [[BelligerentSexualTension at first she doesn't like me — but then — she admires my silly charm]] -- we get to know each other better -- [[ThirdActMisunderstanding but then she discovers — I was keeping a secret the whole time]] -- I try to explain I held this secret because I love her -- but she is too emotional and filled with hate -- so she decides to marry the snob -- [[DisposableFiance a real uptight guy]] with no funny lines -- [[WeddingDeadline she is about to be wed at the altar]] -- [[SpeakNowOrForeverHoldYourPeace but then — I come stumbling in — after going through some sort of comedic chase — I plead myself to her]] -- and at first -- it looks like she's not buying it -- but then -- her eyes tear up -- she turns around -- gives me a hug -- the snobby groom is angry -- but then -- my comedic {{sidekick}} comes in and punches him -- the crowd cheers -- I tell the toaster I love her -- she says she loves me -- we decide to get married but we do not show it on screen because two weddings would just be repetitive -- so we end with kind of an open ending -- something like we're driving a convertible into the sunset or something -- this leaves it open for a sequel -- I want to be played by Creator/ZacEfron -- and Creator/NataliePortman as the toaster -- there is a bit of an age difference but I think she looks young enough she can pull it off -- Creator/{{Disney}} has shown interest -- Gary Marshall is attached to direct -- it will be called ''Soundwaves of the Heart'' -- [[AvoidTheDreadedGRating it will be rated PG-13 for crude humor and adult situations]] -- but nothing too bad -- just enough to let the male demographic know that it's edgy and we'll have some gross out humor for them -- and the female demographic will instantly be drawn to the toaster -- [[EscapistCharacter they will be able to imagine themselves inserted into the role]] -- it will be released in summer preferably over a holiday weekend -- it will break records -- win awards -- it will be the SleeperHit of the year --
-->'''Megatron:'''
--\\
'''Megatron:'''
'''''No!!'''''
-->'''Soundwave:''' '''Soundwave:''' Dammit --



-->"FUCKING BUBBLES!!!"
-->"And who ''is'' that guy?!"

to:

-->"FUCKING BUBBLES!!!"
-->"And
BUBBLES!!!"\\
"And
who ''is'' that guy?!"



-->"[[MindScrew BRAIN]] [[MindRape RAPE!!!]]"

to:

-->"[[MindScrew --->"[[MindScrew BRAIN]] [[MindRape RAPE!!!]]"



-->[[spoiler:'''Mara:''' How brave of you to go with those braces. Tell me, was it meant to look like your teeth were eating over them?]]
-->[[spoiler:'''Critic:''' [[BigShutUp SHUT UP!]]]]
-->[[spoiler:'''Mara:''' The acne is a nice touch, too. I bet you purposely never showered just to get that effect.]]
-->[[spoiler:'''Critic:''' It was Seattle during the grunge era -- none of us did!]]

to:

-->[[spoiler:'''Mara:''' How brave of you to go with those braces. Tell me, was it meant to look like your teeth were eating over them?]]
-->[[spoiler:'''Critic:'''
them?]]\\
[[spoiler:'''Critic:'''
[[BigShutUp SHUT UP!]]]]
-->[[spoiler:'''Mara:'''
UP!]]]]\\
[[spoiler:'''Mara:'''
The acne is a nice touch, too. I bet you purposely never showered just to get that effect.]]
-->[[spoiler:'''Critic:'''
]]\\
[[spoiler:'''Critic:'''
It was Seattle during the grunge era -- none of us did!]]



--->[[spoiler:'''Critic:''' My God, how could you be so heartless?! How could you be so cruel??! ''UNHOLY SHE-DEMON!!!'']]
--->[[spoiler:'''Mara:''' Well, so long, Critic. I'm sure now that the public has seen some of ''your'' brilliant choices as a child, they'll be just as accepting as you were of mine.]]
--->[[spoiler: '''Critic:''' '''''[[SayMyName MAAAARAAAAA]] [[SkywardScream WIIIILSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!]]''''']]
--->[[spoiler: '''Mara:''' *''[[EvilLaugh cackles evilly]]''*]]

to:

--->[[spoiler:'''Critic:''' My God, how could you be so heartless?! How could you be so cruel??! ''UNHOLY SHE-DEMON!!!'']]
--->[[spoiler:'''Mara:'''
SHE-DEMON!!!'']]\\
[[spoiler:'''Mara:'''
Well, so long, Critic. I'm sure now that the public has seen some of ''your'' brilliant choices as a child, they'll be just as accepting as you were of mine.]]
--->[[spoiler:
]]\\
[[spoiler:
'''Critic:''' '''''[[SayMyName MAAAARAAAAA]] [[SkywardScream WIIIILSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!]]''''']]
--->[[spoiler:
WIIIILSOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!!!!]]''''']]\\
[[spoiler:
'''Mara:''' *''[[EvilLaugh ''([[EvilLaugh cackles evilly]]''*]]evilly]])'']]



-->"Aww, but I just want to play with the puppies... '''[[MoodWhiplash YOU COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKER!!!]]'''"
-->"Mommy, why would you do this to me? '''''I'LL EAT YOUR ASS IN HELL!!!!'''''"

to:

-->"Aww, --->"Aww, but I just want to play with the puppies... '''[[MoodWhiplash YOU COCKSUCKING MOTHERFUCKER!!!]]'''"
-->"Mommy,
MOTHERFUCKER!!!]]'''"\\
"Mommy,
why would you do this to me? '''''I'LL EAT YOUR ASS IN HELL!!!!'''''"



--> '''Alien B:''' I just would've liked to have seen a more in-character--
--> *''starts getting torn apart''*
--> '''Alien B:''' The Creator/BradJones cameo was pointless.
--> *''gets torn some more''*
--> '''Alien B:''' The Optimus Prime bit got old!
--> *''gets torn one more time''*
--> '''Alien B:''' It just... wasn't... funny... *''dies''*

to:

--> '''Alien B:''' I just would've liked to have seen a more in-character--
--> *''starts
in-character--\\
''(starts
getting torn apart''*
-->
apart)''\\
'''Alien B:''' The Creator/BradJones cameo was pointless.
--> *''gets
pointless.\\
''(gets
torn some more''*
-->
more)''\\
'''Alien B:''' The Optimus Prime bit got old!
--> *''gets
old!\\
''(gets
torn one more time''*
-->
time)''\\
'''Alien B:''' It just... wasn't... funny... *''dies''*''(dies)''



-->'''Facehugger:''' ''(attaches itself to the Critic)''
-->'''Critic:''' ''(nonchalantly flicks it off)'' Annoying!

to:

-->'''Facehugger:''' ''(attaches itself to the Critic)''
-->'''Critic:'''
Critic)''\\
'''Critic:'''
''(nonchalantly flicks it off)'' Annoying!



* [[BlackGuyDiesFirst When the black guy dies:]]
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Let us have a moment of silence for that black guy. [Takes off his hat and bows his head before switching to another character]
-->'''Nostalgia Critic/Other Guy:''' You know, I don't think that fall would've killed him—
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Nah, he's dead.
-->'''Nostalgia Critic/Other Guy:''' [''Beat''] There's no other aliens down there to get him—
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' No no, he's dead.
-->'''Nostalgia Critic/Other Guy:''' [''Beat''] He could easily just swim out of there any chance he wanted—
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Why can't you just accept [[BlackDudeDiesFirst the INCREDIBLY RARE FACT that a black guy has died in a horror film?!]]
-->'''Nostalgia Critic/Other Guy:''' [''Beat''] Even all the facehuggers were destroyed—
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' You racist?!
-->'''Nostalgia Critic/Other Guy:''' How does that even—?! [''Gives up''] Sure.

to:

* [[BlackGuyDiesFirst When the black guy dies:]]
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:'''
dies]]:
-->'''Critic:'''
Let us have a moment of silence for that black guy. [Takes ''[takes off his hat and bows his head before switching to another character]
-->'''Nostalgia Critic/Other
character]''
'''Critic/Other
Guy:''' You know, I don't think that fall would've killed him—
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:'''
him--\\
'''Critic:'''
Nah, he's dead.
-->'''Nostalgia Critic/Other
dead.\\
'''Critic/Other
Guy:''' [''Beat''] ''[beat]'' There's no other aliens down there to get him—
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:'''
him--\\
'''Critic:'''
No no, he's dead.
-->'''Nostalgia Critic/Other
dead.\\
'''Critic/Other
Guy:''' [''Beat''] ''[beat]'' He could easily just swim out of there any chance he wanted—
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:'''
wanted--\\
'''Critic:'''
Why can't you just accept [[BlackDudeDiesFirst the INCREDIBLY RARE FACT that a black guy has died in a horror film?!]]
-->'''Nostalgia Critic/Other
film?!]]\\
'''Critic/Other
Guy:''' [''Beat''] ''[beat]'' Even all the facehuggers were destroyed—
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:'''
destroyed--\\
'''Critic:'''
You racist?!
-->'''Nostalgia Critic/Other
racist?!\\
'''Critic/Other
Guy:''' How does that even—?! [''Gives up''] even--?! ''[gives up]'' Sure.



-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' [''voiceover''] If Cole could swim out, why the fuck couldn't the black guy?!
-->'''Nostalgia Critic/Other Guy:''' You racist?
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' I don't think you know what that means.

to:

-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' [''voiceover''] --->'''Critic:''' ''[voiceover]'' If Cole could swim out, why the fuck couldn't the black guy?!
-->'''Nostalgia Critic/Other
guy?!\\
'''Critic/Other
Guy:''' You racist?
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:'''
racist?\\
'''Critic:'''
I don't think you know what that means.



-->'''Critic as Creator/JohnHurt:''' Oh my God, I feel something about to burst out of my chest! Oh, that's strange; I have a sudden burst of energy. I want to jazzercise, let's do a little Tae Bo, HUP, it's kicking...!!
--> *''Chestburster kills him''*
--> '''Chestburster:''' ''[[Film/{{Spaceballs}} Hello my baby, hello my honey!]]''

to:

-->'''Critic as Creator/JohnHurt:''' (as Creator/JohnHurt):''' Oh my God, I feel something about to burst out of my chest! Oh, that's strange; I have a sudden burst of energy. I want to jazzercise, let's do a little Tae Bo, HUP, it's kicking...!!
--> *''Chestburster ''(Chestburster kills him''*
-->
him)''
'''Chestburster:''' ''[[Film/{{Spaceballs}} ''♪[[Film/{{Spaceballs}} Hello my baby, hello my honey!]]''honey!]]♪''



--> '''Lone Starr and Barf''': Check, please!

to:

--> '''Lone --->'''Lone Starr and Barf''': Barf:''' Check, please!



--> ''"Blood and guts... slimy too... shoulda stopped... at movie two..."''

to:

--> ''"Blood -->''"Blood and guts... slimy too... shoulda stopped... at movie two..."''



-->'''Bonasera:''' [[Film/TheGodfather I believe in America...]]
-->'''Critic:''' Oh, I'm sorry, I meant ''wacky Halloween party!'' Whoo hoo hoo!

to:

-->'''Bonasera:''' [[Film/TheGodfather I believe in America...]]
-->'''Critic:'''
]]\\
'''Critic:'''
Oh, I'm sorry, I meant ''wacky Halloween party!'' Whoo hoo hoo!



-->'''Bill Cosby''': This house is falling faster than my movie career.
-->'''Robin Williams''': Mine too. Hoho!

to:

-->'''Bill Cosby''': Cosby:''' This house is falling faster than my movie career.
-->'''Robin Williams''':
career.\\
'''Robin Williams:'''
Mine too. Hoho!



-->'''Critic''': Oh, come on, he's had worse. He's worked for Jell-O.

to:

-->'''Critic''': --->'''Critic:''' Oh, come on, he's had worse. He's worked for Jell-O.



-->'''Robin Williams''': I'm quirky, which is good. I fought things and I won. I'll be saying this in the next five movies I'm in. I'll apologize by doing more stand-up.

to:

-->'''Robin Williams''': Williams:''' I'm quirky, which is good. I fought things and I won. I'll be saying this in the next five movies I'm in. I'll apologize by doing more stand-up.



--> "Sadness. It makes you feel bad. [[CallBack At least both your parents weren't eaten alive by a rhino!]] That'd be funny."

to:

--> "Sadness.-->♪Sadness. It makes you feel bad. [[CallBack At least both your parents weren't eaten alive by a rhino!]] That'd be funny."



-->"Who's the ten year old in an adult's body again?"

to:

-->"Who's --->"Who's the ten year old in an adult's body again?"



-->'''Snape''': Mister Potter...
-->'''Harry''': '''YES!!!'''

to:

-->'''Snape''': -->'''Snape:''' Mister Potter...
-->'''Harry''': '''YES!!!'''
Potter...\\
'''Harry:''' '''YES!?!'''



--> '''Chorus:''' Jack's OK, and he's back, OK!

to:

--> '''Chorus:''' -->'''Chorus:''' Jack's OK, and he's back, OK!



-->"Anyway, if it's one of the women on the site, I'm sure that I'm in for a nice-looking piece of-- *''sees Diamanda''* F-F-F-FUCK!!! Good God, oh sweet Jesus, don't hurt me!!"
-->"Please, [[SelfDemonstrating/TheJoker Mr. Joker]], I'll do whatever you want! Just don't harm me!"
-->"Oh my God, we're hiring people like ''you'' now??! You look like Film/TheCrow if he was in Candyland!"
-->"You look like what I saw when I [[UrbanLegends said 'Bloody Mary' three times!]]"

to:

-->"Anyway, if it's one of the women on the site, I'm sure that I'm in for a nice-looking piece of-- *''sees Diamanda''* ''(sees Diamanda)'' F-F-F-FUCK!!! Good God, oh God! Oh, sweet Jesus, don't hurt me!!"
-->"Please,
me!!"\\
"Please,
[[SelfDemonstrating/TheJoker Mr. Joker]], I'll do whatever you want! Just don't harm me!"
-->"Oh
me!"\\
"Oh,
my God, we're hiring people like ''you'' now??! You look like Film/TheCrow if he was in Candyland!"
-->"You
Candyland!"\\
"You
look like what I saw when I [[UrbanLegends said 'Bloody Mary' three times!]]"



-->"Do you want snacks? This next one can get a little lengthy. There's not any naked women in it, but my guess is you're not into that anyway. *''beat''* I am. A lot!"

to:

-->"Do you want snacks? This next one can get a little lengthy. There's not any naked women in it, but my guess is you're not into that anyway. *''beat''* ''(beat)'' I am. A lot!"



-->"If I could, I would even throw a commercial interuption in the middle of these stori-" (Screen is briefly in black, and if you're watching it on blip, there really is a commerical break) "Well, that was lucky."

to:

-->"If -.->"If I could, I would even throw a commercial interuption in the middle of these stori-" (Screen is briefly in black, and if you're watching it on blip, there really is a commerical break) "Well, that was lucky."



-->'''Critic!John Candy of Gor''': [[ThirdPersonPerson John Candy of Gor]] [[LiteralMinded likes your eyes]].
-->''*[[EyeScream pulls her eye out]]; girl screams*''
-->'''Critic!John Candy of Gor''': Hey, you're lucky I didn't like your breasts.

to:

-->'''Critic!John --->'''Critic (as John Candy of Gor''': Gor):''' [[ThirdPersonPerson John Candy of Gor]] [[LiteralMinded likes your eyes]].
-->''*[[EyeScream
eyes]].\\
''([[EyeScream
pulls her eye out]]; girl screams*''
-->'''Critic!John
screams)''\\
'''Critic (as John
Candy of Gor''': Gor):''' Hey, you're lucky I didn't like your breasts.



-->'''Bad Guy''': Come!
-->'''Diamanda''': I was about to, you damn [[UsefulNotes/FurryFandom furry!]]

to:

-->'''Bad Guy''': Come!
-->'''Diamanda''':
--->'''Bad Guy:''' Come!\\
'''Diamanda:'''
I was about to, you damn [[UsefulNotes/FurryFandom furry!]]



-->'''Critic''': So, really every woman in this movie is like a game of Perfection. If something can fit in the slot, you just put it in there.

to:

-->'''Critic''': -->'''Critic:''' So, really every woman in this movie is like a game of Perfection. If something can fit in the slot, you just put it in there.



-->'''Critic''': waitaminute... Was that the fucking Enterprise? It is! It's the fucking Enterprise! What the hell is the Enterprise doing in the '40s? Or present day, or whenever the fuck that futuristic trial was supposed to happen!?
-->'''Diamanda''': [[Film/StarTrekIVTheVoyageHome Could be flying back in time to capture some dolphins or some crap.]]
-->'''Critic as Captain Kirk''': Sppppoooooockkkk, have you ever wondered if you can... smoke a tribble?

to:

-->'''Critic''': waitaminute... -->'''Critic:''' Waitaminute... Was that the fucking Enterprise? It is! It's the fucking Enterprise! What the hell is the Enterprise doing in the '40s? Or present day, or whenever the fuck that futuristic trial was supposed to happen!?
-->'''Diamanda''':
happen!?\\
'''Diamanda:'''
[[Film/StarTrekIVTheVoyageHome Could be flying back in time to capture some dolphins or some crap.]]
-->'''Critic as
]]\\
'''Critic (as
Captain Kirk''': Kirk):''' Sppppoooooockkkk, have you ever wondered if you can... smoke a tribble?



-->'''Critic!Monster''': Now, let's go get chicken.
-->'''Hagan!Monster''': I'm a vegetarian.
-->'''Critic!Monster''': [[LargeHam Kill him!]]
--> ''*lasers fire*''

to:

-->'''Critic!Monster''': -->'''Critic!Monster:''' Now, let's go get chicken.
-->'''Hagan!Monster''':
chicken.\\
'''Hagan!Monster:'''
I'm a vegetarian.
-->'''Critic!Monster''':
vegetarian.\\
'''Critic!Monster:'''
[[LargeHam Kill him!]]
--> ''*lasers fire*''
him!]]\\
''(lasers fire)''



-->'''Hagan:''' It's Film/JohnCarter returning from Mars!
-->'''Critic:''' You saw that?
-->'''Hagan:''' ''Someone'' had to!

to:

-->'''Hagan:''' It's Film/JohnCarter returning from Mars!
-->'''Critic:'''
Mars!\\
'''Critic:'''
You saw that?
-->'''Hagan:'''
that?\\
'''Hagan:'''
''Someone'' had to!



--> '''Diamanda:''' ... [[HypocriticalHumor and the crab people I rule over with an iron fist agree.]] \\

to:

--> '''Diamanda:''' ...-->'''Diamanda:''' ... [[HypocriticalHumor and the crab people I rule over with an iron fist agree.]] \\]]\\



-->'''Critic''': So how long before she gets nake- (she does) I guess that ''was'' a stupid question!

to:

-->'''Critic''': -->'''Critic:''' So how long before she gets nake- (she does) nake--? ''(she does)'' I guess that ''was'' a stupid question!



--> '''Hagan''': And I'm currently wondering what they would've done in most obvious situations in history.
-->''(A shot of the Titanic sinking, the Birdie Dance playing in the background, with a superimposed picture of Dr. Anrak saying. "Clearly this was caused by werewolves.")

to:

--> '''Hagan''': -->'''Hagan:''' And I'm currently wondering what they would've done in most obvious situations in history.
-->''(A ''(a shot of the Titanic sinking, the Birdie Dance playing in the background, with a superimposed picture of Dr. Anrak saying. saying: "Clearly this was caused by werewolves.")")''
8th Aug '17 3:37:01 AM TheAmazingBlachman
Is there an issue? Send a Message


'''Fat Kid:''' ''excited/overjoyed'' Lunch?\\

to:

'''Fat Kid:''' ''excited/overjoyed'' Lunch?\\''(excited/overjoyed)'' Lunch?!\\
7th Aug '17 3:43:57 PM TheAmazingBlachman
Is there an issue? Send a Message


--> '''Critic:''' Oh, you mean we’re gonna talk about the actual Saint Nicholas and what we historically know about hi- He’s a fat guy with toys; we’re running with that angle.

to:

--> '''Critic:''' Oh, you mean we’re gonna talk about the actual Saint Nicholas and what we historically know about hi- He’s hi--? He's a fat guy with toys; we’re we're running with that angle.angle!
7th Aug '17 3:42:09 PM TheAmazingBlachman
Is there an issue? Send a Message


-->'''Critic''': And let me guess, he's the boys'--\\
''[Text saying "[[LukeIAmYourFather Father]]" with picture of [[StarWars Darth Vader]] appears.]''\\
'''Critic''': --and the mother is--\\
''[Text saying "[[MissingMom Kaput]]" with picture of [[Disney/{{Bambi}} Bambi's mother]] appears.]''\\
'''Critic''': --and the great big fancy party is happening--\\
''[Text saying "Tomorrow" with picture of Theatre/{{Annie}} appears.]''\\

to:

-->'''Critic''': -->'''Critic:''' And let me guess, he's the boys'--\\
''[Text ''(text saying "[[LukeIAmYourFather Father]]" with picture of [[StarWars Darth Vader]] appears.]''\\
'''Critic''':
appears)''\\
'''Critic:'''
--and the mother is--\\
''[Text ''(text saying "[[MissingMom Kaput]]" with picture of [[Disney/{{Bambi}} Bambi's mother]] appears.]''\\
'''Critic''':
appears)''\\
'''Critic:'''
--and the great big fancy party is happening--\\
''[Text ''(text saying "Tomorrow" with picture of Theatre/{{Annie}} appears.]''\\appears)''\\



''[Text saying "Zero" with picture of [[VideoGame/MegaManX Zero]] appears.]''\\

to:

''[Text ''(text saying "Zero" with picture of [[VideoGame/MegaManX Zero]] appears.]''\\appears)''\\



-->'''Critic''': No, you need to try the anti-psychotics, honey...

to:

-->'''Critic''': -->'''Critic:''' No, you need to try the anti-psychotics, honey...



-->*''Shows [[Film/ANewHope Death Star]] blowing up''*
-->'''Critic:''' You did that! You!
-->*''Shows [[Film/{{Scarface 1983}} Tony Montana]] getting killed''*
-->'''Critic:''' You did that! You!
-->"''Shows [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Edward saving Bella]] from an oncoming car''"
-->'''Critic:''' You did that! You! *''beat''* [[TakeThat For shaaaame!]]

to:

-->*''Shows --->'(shows [[Film/ANewHope Death Star]] blowing up''*
-->'''Critic:'''
up)''\\
'''Critic:'''
You did that! You!
-->*''Shows
''You!''\\
''(shows
[[Film/{{Scarface 1983}} Tony Montana]] getting killed''*
-->'''Critic:'''
killed)''\\
'''Critic:'''
You did that! You!
-->"''Shows
''You!''\\
''(shows
[[Literature/{{Twilight}} Edward saving Bella]] from an oncoming car''"
-->'''Critic:'''
car)''\\
'''Critic:'''
You did that! You! *''beat''* ''You''! ''(beat)'' [[TakeThat For shaaaame!]]



-->'''Fonda:''' No, you won't! Because the magic you ''refuse'' to believe in...will get the ''better'' of you!
-->'''Critic:''' *''pause''* You know what? Go back to being depressed...I think I like you better that way.

to:

-->'''Fonda:''' --->'''Fonda:''' No, you won't! Because the magic you ''refuse'' to believe in...in... will get the ''better'' of you!
-->'''Critic:''' *''pause''*
you!\\
'''Critic:''' ''(pause)''
You know what? Go back to being depressed...depressed... I think I like you better that way.



-->'''Critic:''' You know, it just hit me. Why don't you come on as a fact checker?
-->'''Douchey:''' '''''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'''''
-->'''Critic:''' Why not?
-->'''Douchey:''' ''Because then I couldn't complain about it.''

to:

-->'''Critic:''' --->'''Critic:''' You know, it just hit me. Why don't you come on as a fact checker?
-->'''Douchey:''' '''''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'''''
-->'''Critic:'''
checker?\\
'''Douchey:''' '''''NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'''''\\
'''Critic:'''
Why not?
-->'''Douchey:'''
not?\\
'''Douchey:'''
''Because then I couldn't complain about it.''



-->'''Critic:''' *''deep voice''* And God said unto Noah, "Bring me one of every stereotype, and you will have your crappy 90s movie," and Noah said--
-->'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment Spoony]]:''' *''visibly annoyed''* ''No!''
-->'''Critic:''' [[BoltOfDivineRetribution And God struck him down with lightning]]. The End.

to:

-->'''Critic:''' *''deep voice''* ''(deep voice)'' And God said unto Noah, "Bring me one of every stereotype, and you will have your crappy 90s movie," and Noah said--
-->'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment
said--\\
'''[[WebVideo/TheSpoonyExperiment
Spoony]]:''' *''visibly annoyed''* ''No!''
-->'''Critic:'''
''(visibly annoyed)'' ''No!''\\
'''Critic:'''
[[BoltOfDivineRetribution And God struck him down with lightning]]. The End.



-->'''Black Kid:''' Whoa, this ain't a house, it's a whole hood.
-->'''Critic:''' ''cheerfully'' I'm the black one.
-->'''Butler:''' Lunch is served.
-->'''Fat Kid:''' ''excited/overjoyed'' Lunch?
-->'''Critic:''' I'm the fat one, I have no identity besides food.

to:

-->'''Black --->'''Black Kid:''' Whoa, this ain't a house, it's a whole hood.
-->'''Critic:''' ''cheerfully''
hood!\\
'''Critic:''' ''(cheerfully)''
I'm the black one.
-->'''Butler:'''
one!\\
'''Butler:'''
Lunch is served.
-->'''Fat
served.\\
'''Fat
Kid:''' ''excited/overjoyed'' Lunch?
-->'''Critic:'''
Lunch?\\
'''Critic:'''
I'm the fat one, I have no identity identity, besides food.



-->'''Critic:''' I believe that's bad screenwriting for "insert your plug here". *''cue commercial break''* '''NO GODDAMNI--'''

to:

-->'''Critic:''' I believe that's bad screenwriting for "insert your plug here". *''cue ''(cue commercial break''* break)'' '''NO GODDAMNI--'''



-->"Jell-O Puddin' Pop is the best kind of puddin' pop...[[OhCrap Oh my goodness, a grenade]]. *'''''BOOM!!!'''''*

to:

-->"Jell-O --->"Jell-O Puddin' Pop is the best kind of puddin' pop...[[OhCrap Oh my goodness, a grenade]]. *'''''BOOM!!!'''''*



-->'''Van Dough:''' Shit.
-->'''Critic:''' [[AvoidTheDreadedGRating There's your PG-rating, folks.]]

to:

-->'''Van Dough:''' Shit.
-->'''Critic:'''
Shit.\\
'''Critic:'''
[[AvoidTheDreadedGRating There's your PG-rating, folks.]]



** '''L'''oyalty of the stock holders was at risk so they...
** '''A'''sk people around who have money, they all have...
** '''Z'''any solutions but one seemed...
** '''I'''nvestment worthy with...
** '''N'''o backfires at all so they...
** '''E'''ntered into a deal of business with them,
** '''S'''neakily and...
** '''S'''moothly.

to:

** '''L'''oyalty -->'''L'''oyalty of the stock holders was at risk so they...
**
they...\\
'''A'''sk people around who have money, they all have...
**
have...\\
'''Z'''any solutions but one seemed...
**
seemed...\\
'''I'''nvestment worthy with...
**
with...\\
'''N'''o backfires at all so they...
**
they...\\
'''E'''ntered into a deal of business with them,
**
them,\\
'''S'''neakily and...
**
and...\\
'''S'''moothly.



-->'''Critic:''' You don't review things that are well...''you'' [[AxCrazy are not well!]] (Later) Oh no, I've seen the stuff you review. You're not gonna make me review [[Manga/MadBull34 cops with grenades tied to their pubes]] or something!

to:

-->'''Critic:''' --->'''Critic:''' You don't review things that are well...''you'' [[AxCrazy are not well!]] (Later) ''(later)'' Oh no, I've seen the stuff you review. You're not gonna make me review [[Manga/MadBull34 cops with grenades tied to their pubes]] or something!



-->'''Critic:''' Oh hi, Boba Fett!
-->'''Sage:''' Nope.
-->''("Boba" takes off their helmet)''.
-->'''Critic:''' Oh hi, [[SamusIsAGirl Leia!]]

to:

-->'''Critic:''' --->'''Critic:''' Oh hi, Boba Fett!
-->'''Sage:''' Nope.
-->''("Boba"
Fett!\\
'''Sage:''' Nope.\\
''("Boba"
takes off their helmet)''.
-->'''Critic:'''
helmet)''.\\
'''Critic:'''
Oh hi, [[SamusIsAGirl Leia!]]



-->'''Orin:''' "Guard, I have something for you!"
-->'''Critic!Guard:''' "Oh boy oh boy, I hope it is candy--" ''(gets stabbed)'' "That is not candy."

to:

-->'''Orin:''' "Guard, Guard, I have something for you!"
-->'''Critic!Guard:''' "Oh boy
you!\\
'''Critic!Guard:''' Oh boy,
oh boy, I hope it is candy--" candy-- ''(gets stabbed)'' "That That is not candy."



-->'''Critic:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait...This movie has ''fans''?
-->'''Sage:''' Yeah. In fact, just recently it's been announced that plans are being made for a live-action remake.
-->'''Critic:''' (''beat'') ...They ''did'' that; [[WholePlotReference it was called]] ''[[FollowTheLeader STAR WARS]]''!!

to:

-->'''Critic:''' Wait, wait, wait, wait...This movie has ''fans''?
-->'''Sage:'''
''fans''?\\
'''Sage:'''
Yeah. In fact, just recently it's been announced that plans are being made for a live-action remake.
-->'''Critic:'''
remake.\\
'''Critic:'''
(''beat'') ...They ''did'' that; [[WholePlotReference it was called]] ''[[FollowTheLeader STAR WARS]]''!!



-->'''Fembot:''' You wouldn't dare...
-->'''Critic:''' He's not ''really'' going to...
-->'''Sage:''' Oh, he's going to. See that face? That's a man who's about to plunder him some ass.

to:

-->'''Fembot:''' --->'''Fembot:''' You wouldn't dare...
-->'''Critic:'''
dare...\\
'''Critic:'''
He's not ''really'' going to...
-->'''Sage:'''
to...\\
'''Sage:'''
Oh, he's going to. See that face? That's a man who's about to plunder him some ass.



-->"It looks kinda stupid and silly, but not awful. No, I'm not afraid!"
-->"Oh, you ''will'' be..."

to:

-->"It looks kinda stupid and silly, but not awful. No, I'm not afraid!"
-->"Oh,
afraid!"\\
"Oh,
you ''will'' be..."



-->'''Critic:''' ...[[ThreatBackfire Cool]].

to:

-->'''Critic:''' ...--->'''Critic:''' ...[[ThreatBackfire Cool]].



-->'''Sage:''' Hell if I know.
-->'''Critic:''' It looks like it crawled out of the asshole of H.R. Geiger's nightmare.
-->'''Sage:''' Nooooo, ''this'' looks like it crawled out of the asshole of H.R. Geiger's nightmare.
-->*''cut to the robo-monster with [[LordOfTheRings creepy music]] in the background''*
-->'''Sage:''' It's the eyes, isn't it?
-->'''Critic:''' The eyes! What's up with the eyes?!

to:

-->'''Sage:''' '''Sage:''' Hell if I know.
-->'''Critic:''' '''Critic:''' It looks like it crawled out of the asshole of H.R. Geiger's nightmare.
-->'''Sage:''' '''Sage:''' Nooooo, ''this'' looks like it crawled out of the asshole of H.R. Geiger's nightmare.
-->*''cut ''(cut to the robo-monster with [[LordOfTheRings creepy music]] in the background''*
-->'''Sage:'''
background)''
'''Sage:'''
It's the eyes, isn't it?
-->'''Critic:''' '''Critic:''' The eyes! What's up with the eyes?!
5th Aug '17 11:05:23 PM TheAmazingBlachman
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''(fade in to the scene at beginning of the film, only to cut back to the Critic)''

to:

''(fade in to the scene at beginning of the film, only to cut back to the Critic)''Critic)''\\
This list shows the last 10 events of 1697. Show all.
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.TheNostalgiaCritic2012Episodes