History Funny / TheNostalgiaCritic2010Episodes

9th Sep '17 8:55:19 PM EmperorZim
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* The Critic imagining Pennywise threatening Eddie, [[EvilLaugh cackling insanely...]] and then just [[NowWhat staring at him.]] Followed by a cameo of WesternAnimation/BugsBunny.

to:

* The Critic imagining Pennywise threatening Eddie, [[EvilLaugh cackling insanely...]] and then just [[NowWhat staring at him.him in awkward silence.]] Followed by a cameo of WesternAnimation/BugsBunny.
9th Sep '17 8:53:18 PM EmperorZim
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* As Jonathan Brandis is mentioned, the elephant in the room peeks on camera... "Oh, piss off!" ''(elephant hmm's)''

to:

* As [[DrivenToSuicide Jonathan Brandis Brandis]] is mentioned, the elephant in the room peeks on camera... "Oh, piss off!" ''(elephant hmm's)''
16th Aug '17 10:04:28 AM rjd1922
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* "Wow... So the guy who wrote ''The Breakfast Club'' and ''Pretty in Pink'' actually had to write the words "He farted Flubber out of his anus." This is a sad day, people!"
* "Hey look, a speck of snow!"

to:

* "Wow... So [[Creator/JohnHughes the guy who wrote ''The Breakfast Club'' wrote]] ''Film/TheBreakfastClub'' and ''Pretty in Pink'' ''Film/PrettyInPink'' actually had to write the words "He farted Flubber out of his anus." This is a sad day, people!"
* "Hey look, a speck of snow!"snow!" (FacePlant)
5th Aug '17 1:05:29 AM Everlighte
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* "Franchise/MyLittlePony, the Franchise/CareBears, Series/{{Teletubbies}}, Franchise/CabbagePatchKids, WesternAnimation/TheSmurfs, Franchise/{{Barbie}}, WesternAnimation/{{Pound Puppies|1980s}}, WesternAnimation/RainbowBrite, WesternAnimation/StrawberryShortcake, [[Series/BarneyAndFriends Barney the Dinosaur]], all the ''Film/{{High School Musical}}s'', WesternAnimation/{{Jem}}, and the goddamn [[WesternAnimation/TheGetAlongGang Get Along Gang]] are fucking [[TestosteronePoisoning BUTCH]] compared to this!"

to:

* "Franchise/MyLittlePony, the Franchise/CareBears, Series/{{Teletubbies}}, Franchise/CabbagePatchKids, WesternAnimation/TheSmurfs, Franchise/{{Barbie}}, WesternAnimation/{{Pound Puppies|1980s}}, WesternAnimation/RainbowBrite, WesternAnimation/StrawberryShortcake, [[Series/BarneyAndFriends Barney the Dinosaur]], all the ''Film/{{High School Musical}}s'', WesternAnimation/{{Jem}}, and the goddamn [[WesternAnimation/TheGetAlongGang Get Along Gang]] are fucking [[TestosteronePoisoning BUTCH]] [[TastesLikeDiabetes compared to this!"this!"]]
3rd Aug '17 12:02:02 PM superboy313
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"NO! NO! That does not happen movie! That just DOES! NOT! HAPPEN! Unless you, oh, I don't know, '''[[SuddenlyShouting EXPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!!!!!!]]'''"

to:

"NO! NO! That does not happen movie! That just DOES! NOT! HAPPEN! Unless you, oh, I don't know, '''[[SuddenlyShouting '''[[BigWordShout EXPLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIN!!!!!!!]]'''"



--->'''Critic:''' '''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis JUUUST... EEEEX... PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!]]''' ''[death, destruction and doom [[HilarityEnsues ensue]]; critic double takes at destruction]'' ... Sorry.

to:

--->'''Critic:''' '''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis JUUUST... EEEEX... PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!]]''' '''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis JUST... EX... PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]]''''' ''[death, destruction and doom [[HilarityEnsues ensue]]; critic double takes at destruction]'' ... Sorry.
30th Jul '17 4:34:10 AM TheAmazingBlachman
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''*the Technodrome smashes through the wall and crushes the Turtles flat*''

to:

''*the ''(the Technodrome smashes through the wall and crushes the Turtles flat*''flat)''
30th Jul '17 4:33:47 AM TheAmazingBlachman
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--> '''Katie Coltrane:''' He's a dinosaur!
--> '''Critic:''' [[SarcasmFailure He is-I ch-buh... whuh?]]

to:

--> '''Katie -->'''Katie Coltrane:''' He's a dinosaur!
-->
dinosaur!\\
'''Critic:''' [[SarcasmFailure He is-I ch-buh... whuh?]]



-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' It's like what Creator/JackNicholson would see in ''Film/OneFlewOverTheCuckoosNest'' after he got lobotomized.
--> '''Creator/JackNicholson:''' I see Whoopi Goldberg and a T-Rex solving crime.
--> '''"Chief" Bromden:''' ''(presses pillow on Jack's face)'' Yes, you need to die now.

to:

-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' -->'''Critic:''' It's like what Creator/JackNicholson would see in ''Film/OneFlewOverTheCuckoosNest'' after he got lobotomized.
-->
lobotomized.\\
'''Creator/JackNicholson:''' I see Whoopi Goldberg and a T-Rex solving crime.
-->
crime.\\
'''"Chief" Bromden:''' ''(presses pillow on Jack's face)'' Yes, you need to die now.



-->'''NC:''' ''(spotting the caterpillar)'' Oh? And what's this?
-->'''Teddy:''' It's a hairy hot dog.
-->'''NC:''' ''(shrugs)'' Of course it is! ''(laughs)'' If you want a hairy hot dog to talk to a finger puppet, turn into a butterfly, and float by a bunch of helium containers, I'm okay with that now! There's really no point in questioning it. It's like trying to save a sinking ship with a band-aid; anything I try to do would be completely pointless. ''({{Beat}}, in a high-pitched voice)'' ... Save me!

to:

-->'''NC:''' -->'''Critic:''' ''(spotting the caterpillar)'' Oh? And what's this?
-->'''Teddy:'''
this?\\
'''Teddy:'''
It's a hairy hot dog.
-->'''NC:'''
dog.\\
'''Critic:'''
''(shrugs)'' Of course it is! ''(laughs)'' If you want a hairy hot dog to talk to a finger puppet, turn into a butterfly, and float by a bunch of helium containers, I'm okay with that now! There's really no point in questioning it. It's like trying to save a sinking ship with a band-aid; anything I try to do would be completely pointless. ''({{Beat}}, in a high-pitched voice)'' ... Save me!



--> '''Commissioner''' ''(appearing for the first time and seeing Teddy on a fundraiser)'': Teddy?
--> '''NC:''' SHAFT?!
--> '''Commissioner:''' Not many people get to meet their maker on a fundraiser, huh?
--> '''NC:''' Oh, G... NOOO!!!
--> '''Another character:''' Excuse me, sir, is there, uh, something wrong?
--> '''Commissioner:''' Yes, yes, there's been a dinocide.
--> '''NC:''' [[WTHCastingAgency Oh, and the fact that you're JOHN SHAFT AND YOU'RE TALKING TO A FUCKING DINOSAUR]]!!!

to:

--> '''Commissioner''' -->'''Commissioner:''' ''(appearing for the first time and seeing Teddy on a fundraiser)'': Teddy?
--> '''NC:''' SHAFT?!
-->
fundraiser)'' Teddy?\\
'''Critic:''' SHAFT?!\\
'''Commissioner:''' Not many people get to meet their maker on a fundraiser, huh?
--> '''NC:'''
huh?\\
'''Critic:'''
Oh, G... NOOO!!!
-->
NOOO!!!\\
'''Another character:''' Excuse me, sir, is there, uh, something wrong?
-->
wrong?\\
'''Commissioner:''' Yes, yes, there's been a dinocide.
--> '''NC:'''
dinocide.\\
'''Critic:'''
[[WTHCastingAgency Oh, and the fact that you're JOHN SHAFT AND YOU'RE TALKING TO A FUCKING DINOSAUR]]!!!



--> '''Molly Rex''' I'm a fool for milk and cookies.
--> '''Theodore''' Oh! C-Cookies! Cookies, cookies, cookies, cookies, cookies!
--> '''NC''' Yep, the running joke of cookies has literally just been resorted to the shouting of the word now, [[SarcasmMode which is a shame. I saw real potential for that joke.]]

to:

--> '''Molly Rex''' -->'''Molly Rex:''' I'm a fool for milk and cookies.
--> '''Theodore'''
cookies.\\
'''Theodore:'''
Oh! C-Cookies! Cookies, cookies, cookies, cookies, cookies!
--> '''NC'''
cookies!\\
'''Critic:'''
Yep, the running joke of cookies has literally just been resorted to the shouting of the word now, [[SarcasmMode which is a shame. I saw real potential for that joke.]]



-->'''Kid:''' Dad, is there a SantaClaus?
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' No!
-->'''Kid:''' Is there an Easter Bunny?
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' No, I made that up too!
-->'''Kid:''' Dad, is there a {{God}}?
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Well, scientifically speaking, they've never really proven that God actually exists, so probably not. In fact, the majority of religions if not all religions are completely false. ''(the kid starts crying)'' Oh, what?

to:

-->'''Kid:''' Dad, is there a SantaClaus?
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' No!
-->'''Kid:'''
SantaClaus?\\
'''Critic:''' No!\\
'''Kid:'''
Is there an Easter Bunny?
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:'''
Bunny?\\
'''Critic:'''
No, I made that up too!
-->'''Kid:'''
too!\\
'''Kid:'''
Dad, is there a {{God}}?
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:'''
{{God}}?\\
'''Critic:'''
Well, scientifically speaking, they've never really proven that God actually exists, so probably not. In fact, the majority of religions if not all religions are completely false. ''(the kid starts crying)'' Oh, what?



-->'''[[spoiler:Film Brain]]:''' '''''[[spoiler:SYMBOLISM!!!]]'''''
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' What was that?

to:

-->'''[[spoiler:Film Brain]]:''' '''''[[spoiler:SYMBOLISM!!!]]'''''
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:'''
'''''[[spoiler:SYMBOLISM!!!]]'''''\\
'''Critic:'''
What was that?



--> '''Peter:''' Come on, give me a hand.
--> '''Hook:''' I already have.
--> '''Hook's Pirates:''' Ooooh...
--> '''Nostalgia Critic as Hook:''' Oh yes. I went there.

to:

--> '''Peter:''' -->'''Peter:''' Come on, give me a hand.
-->
hand.\\
'''Hook:''' I already have.
-->
have.\\
'''Hook's Pirates:''' Ooooh...
--> '''Nostalgia Critic as Hook:''' Oh
Ooooh...\\
'''Critic (as Hook):''' Oh,
yes. I went there.



-->'''Peter:''' I like this game. Ask me another one!
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Okay! Can you make a sentence out of these words? "UP THE FUCK SHUT."

to:

-->'''Peter:''' I like this game. Ask me another one!
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:'''
one!\\
'''Critic:'''
Okay! Can you make a sentence out of these words? "UP THE FUCK SHUT."



--> ''(sniffle, wipes away a tear)'' My mother went the same way...

to:

--> ''(sniffle, -->''(sniffle, wipes away a tear)'' My mother went the same way...



--> '''Hook:''' And you'd better deliver, Ms. Bell, or no amount of clapping will bring you back from where ''I'' will send you...
--> '''NC:''' There's a buttcrack with your name on it.

to:

--> '''Hook:''' -->'''Hook:''' And you'd better deliver, Ms. Bell, or no amount of clapping will bring you back from where ''I'' will send you...
--> '''NC:'''
you...\\
'''Critic:'''
There's a buttcrack with your name on it.



-->'''Critic''': I've been waiting here nine hours in this dress just praying that you'll stumble onto this. Thank you for stumbling onto this!

to:

-->'''Critic''': -->'''Critic:''' I've been waiting here nine hours in this dress just praying that you'll stumble onto this. Thank you for stumbling onto this!



--> '''Peter''': Tink! Come on, you gotta come!\\
'''Critic''': Well she was ''about'' to- ''(realizes)'' Oh, oh, that, yeah.

to:

--> '''Peter''': -->'''Peter:''' Tink! Come on, you gotta come!\\
'''Critic''': '''Critic:''' Well she was ''about'' to- to-- ''(realizes)'' Oh, oh, that, yeah.



-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' But so many people tell me ''(mockingly)'' "Oh, it's a popcorn movie! Can't you just have fun?!". Well, let me tell you something: a waterslide is fun. All the slipping and sliding, it's just great! But if someone took you ''off'' the waterslide, ''shook'' you, gave you a noogie, and then spat in your face and put you ''back'' on the waterslide, you'd be like "... That wasn't fun. That was weird and annoying!". And THAT'S this movie!

to:

-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' -->'''Critic:''' But so many people tell me ''(mockingly)'' "Oh, it's a popcorn movie! Can't you just have fun?!". Well, let me tell you something: a waterslide is fun. All the slipping and sliding, it's just great! But if someone took you ''off'' the waterslide, ''shook'' you, gave you a noogie, and then spat in your face and put you ''back'' on the waterslide, you'd be like "... That wasn't fun. That was weird and annoying!". And THAT'S this movie!



-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' ''(screams in joy, arms up in the air while heavenly music plays)''

to:

-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' -->'''Critic:''' ''(screams in joy, arms up in the air while heavenly music plays)''



-->'''ALF''': ''(silence)'' Hey, uh, press that button, would ya?
-->'''''Alien'' Xenomorph''': Huh? Oh, right. ''(beep)''

to:

-->'''ALF''': ''(silence)'' Hey, uh, press that button, would ya?
-->'''''Alien''
ya?\\
'''''Alien''
Xenomorph''': Huh? Oh, right. ''(beep)''



-->'''Jeff Goldblum, looking like Jesus:''' No.

to:

-->'''Jeff Goldblum, looking Goldblum:''' ''(looking like Jesus:''' Jesus)'' No.



--> '''Judd Hirsch:''' I'm Judd Hirsch, I'm the [[AlterKocker Jewish stereotype]]!
--> '''Robert Loggia:''' I'm Robert Luh-GUY-a, I'm the [[GeneralRipper gruff military stereotype]]!
--> '''Randy Quaid:''' I'm Randy Quaid, and I'm the [[DeepSouth redneck stereotype]]!
--> '''[[Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration Brent Spiner]]:''' I'm Brent Spiner, and I'm the [[MadScientist geeky stereotype]]!
--> '''Harvey Fierstein:''' I'm that guy from ''Film/MrsDoubtfire'', and I'm the [[CampGay gay stereotype]]!
--> '''Harry Connick, Jr.:''' I'm Harry Connick Jr., and I'm the [[HeterosexualLifePartners annoying best friend stereotype]]!
--> '''Creator/JeffGoldblum:''' I am Jeff Goldblum, and I am in and of myself, uh, a [[GibberingGenius stereotype]].

to:

--> '''Judd -->'''Judd Hirsch:''' I'm Judd Hirsch, I'm the [[AlterKocker Jewish stereotype]]!
-->
stereotype]]!\\
'''Robert Loggia:''' I'm Robert Luh-GUY-a, I'm the [[GeneralRipper gruff military stereotype]]!
-->
stereotype]]!\\
'''Randy Quaid:''' I'm Randy Quaid, and I'm the [[DeepSouth redneck stereotype]]!
-->
stereotype]]!\\
'''[[Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration Brent Spiner]]:''' I'm Brent Spiner, and I'm the [[MadScientist geeky stereotype]]!
-->
stereotype]]!\\
'''Harvey Fierstein:''' I'm that guy from ''Film/MrsDoubtfire'', and I'm the [[CampGay gay stereotype]]!
-->
stereotype]]!\\
'''Harry Connick, Jr.:''' I'm Harry Connick Jr., and I'm the [[HeterosexualLifePartners annoying best friend stereotype]]!
-->
stereotype]]!\\
'''Creator/JeffGoldblum:''' I am Jeff Goldblum, and I am in and of myself, uh, a [[GibberingGenius stereotype]].



--> '''Nostalgia Critic''': "A hurricane was spotted on the Eastern Coast -(FreakOut [[{{Undercrank}} in fast motion]])- '''[[YouCanPanicNow PANIC! PANIC! PANIC! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!]]''' (HeadDesk)"

to:

--> '''Nostalgia -->'''Nostalgia Critic''': "A A hurricane was spotted on the Eastern Coast -(FreakOut -- ''(FreakOut [[{{Undercrank}} in fast motion]])- motion]])'' -- '''[[YouCanPanicNow PANIC! PANIC! PANIC! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE!]]''' (HeadDesk)"''(HeadDesk)''



--> '''Creator/WillSmith:''' '''[[SayMyName JIMMY,]] ''[[BigNo NOOOO!!!]]'' '''
--> '''[[WesternAnimation/SouthPark Stan:]]''' [[BigOMG "Oh my God!]] [[TheyKilledKennyAgain They Killed Jimmy!"]]
--> '''[[WesternAnimation/SouthPark Kyle:]]''' [[YouBastard "You bastards!"]]

to:

--> '''Creator/WillSmith:''' -->'''Creator/WillSmith:''' '''[[SayMyName JIMMY,]] ''[[BigNo NOOOO!!!]]'' '''
-->
'''\\
'''[[WesternAnimation/SouthPark Stan:]]''' [[BigOMG "Oh Oh my God!]] [[TheyKilledKennyAgain They Killed Jimmy!"]]
-->
Jimmy!]]\\
'''[[WesternAnimation/SouthPark Kyle:]]''' [[YouBastard "You bastards!"]]You bastards!]]



--> '''Nostalgia Critic (as Jimmy):''' Hey, you want to know what else I love? Living. I ''love'' living! [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment I hope to do a lot of living while I'm still alive! I'm just so lively!]] [[TemptingFate Wouldn't it be a great]] [[DramaticIrony tragic irony]] [[TemptingFate if I was to: NOT be living?]] [[GenreBlind Wouldn't that just be the most dramatic contrast that only a B-Movie that somehow got a bajillion dollar budget would put together?]] [[TooDumbToLive God, I love being alive!]] ''[[LargeHam Alive!]]''

to:

--> '''Nostalgia Critic --->'''Critic (as Jimmy):''' Hey, you want to know what else I love? Living. I ''love'' living! [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment I hope to do a lot of living while I'm still alive! I'm just so lively!]] [[TemptingFate Wouldn't it be a great]] [[DramaticIrony tragic irony]] [[TemptingFate if I was to: NOT be living?]] [[GenreBlind Wouldn't that just be the most dramatic contrast that only a B-Movie that somehow got a bajillion dollar budget would put together?]] [[TooDumbToLive God, I love being alive!]] ''[[LargeHam Alive!]]''



--> '''Lady on TV:''' They elected a warrior and they got a wimp.
--> '''Nostalgia Critic''': Ah, [[TakeThat it's the Obama administration]].

to:

--> '''Lady -->'''Lady on TV:''' They elected a warrior and they got a wimp.
--> '''Nostalgia Critic''':
wimp.\\
'''Critic''':
Ah, [[TakeThat it's the Obama administration]].



-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' [After he immediately calms down following a good 10 seconds of {{Angrish}}] [[CaptainObvious Why, yes. Yes he is, young lady.]] [[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus He has passed on. This person is no more. He has ceased to be.]] [[ShoutOut He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a]] ''[[ShoutOut stiff!]]'' [[MemeticMutation Bereft of]] ''[[MemeticMutation life!]]'' [[MemeticMutation He rests in]] ''[[MemeticMutation peace!]]'' [[OverlyLongGag If he didn't shoot himself, he'd be]] ''[[OverlyLongGag pushing up daisies!]]'' [[OverlyLongGag His metabolic processes are now]] ''[[OverlyLongGag history!]]'' [[SuddenlyShouting HE'S]] ''[[SuddenlyShouting OFF THE TWIG!]]'' [[LargeHam HE'S]] ''[[LargeHam KICKED THE BUCKET!]]'' [[LargeHam SHUFFLED OFF THE MORTAL COIL!]] [[LargeHam RUN DOWN THE CURTAIN AND]] ''[[LargeHam JOINED THE FRIGGIN' CHOIR INVISIBLE!]]'' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis THIS...IS AN]] '''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis EX-PERSON!!!!!]]'''''

to:

-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' [After -->'''Critic:''' ''[after he immediately calms down following a good 10 seconds of {{Angrish}}] {{Angrish}}]'' [[CaptainObvious Why, yes. Yes he is, young lady.]] [[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus He has passed on. This person is no more. He has ceased to be.]] [[ShoutOut He's expired and gone to meet his maker. He's a]] ''[[ShoutOut stiff!]]'' [[MemeticMutation Bereft of]] ''[[MemeticMutation life!]]'' [[MemeticMutation He rests in]] ''[[MemeticMutation peace!]]'' [[OverlyLongGag If he didn't shoot himself, he'd be]] ''[[OverlyLongGag pushing up daisies!]]'' [[OverlyLongGag His metabolic processes are now]] ''[[OverlyLongGag history!]]'' [[SuddenlyShouting HE'S]] ''[[SuddenlyShouting OFF THE TWIG!]]'' [[LargeHam HE'S]] ''[[LargeHam KICKED THE BUCKET!]]'' [[LargeHam SHUFFLED OFF THE MORTAL COIL!]] [[LargeHam RUN DOWN THE CURTAIN AND]] ''[[LargeHam JOINED THE FRIGGIN' CHOIR INVISIBLE!]]'' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis THIS...IS AN]] '''''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis EX-PERSON!!!!!]]'''''



--> "Wow, that's a clumsy rebound."
--> "Come on! We'll have sex on his corpse. It'll be tons of fun!"

to:

--> "Wow, --->"Wow, that's a clumsy rebound."
-->
"\\
"Come on! We'll have sex on his corpse. It'll be tons of fun!"



-->'''Critic:''' What, was the screensaver ''while the movie'' '''''loads'''''? *''Loading bar pops up as the scene plays again, reading 'Loading Dick Sauce of a movie...'''*

to:

-->'''Critic:''' What, was the screensaver ''while the movie'' '''''loads'''''? *''Loading movie LOADS?! (loading bar pops up as the scene plays again, reading 'Loading Dick Sauce of a movie...'''*)''



-->'''NC:''' ''(sarcastic chuckling)'' Hehehe... [[HaHaHaNo that's not funny,]] [[DudeNotFunny you sick fuck.]]

to:

-->'''NC:''' -->'''Critic:''' ''(sarcastic chuckling)'' Hehehe... [[HaHaHaNo that's not funny,]] [[DudeNotFunny you sick fuck.]]



-->'''NC:''' Stop laughing at things that aren't funny, you goddamn weirdo!

to:

-->'''NC:''' --->'''Critic:''' Stop laughing at things that aren't funny, you goddamn weirdo!



-->'''NC:''' ''Oh my God'', do you need landing lights to the ''bed?!'' '''''She wants to sleep with you!''''' That's the thing she does every other stinkin' time you're over, you ''fucking idiot!''

to:

-->'''NC:''' -->'''Critic:''' ''Oh my God'', do you need landing lights to the ''bed?!'' '''''She wants to sleep with you!''''' That's the thing she does every other stinkin' time you're over, you ''fucking idiot!''



--> '''NC:''' Look at this angle here. Really look at it. Is he fucking her belly button? 'Cause it looks like he's fucking her belly button. Dude, I don't know how many times you've had sex, but it's [[PunctuatedForEmphasis NOT. THAT. TIGHT!]]

to:

--> '''NC:''' -->'''Critic:''' Look at this angle here. Really look at it. Is he fucking her belly button? 'Cause it looks like he's fucking her belly button. Dude, I don't know how many times you've had sex, but it's [[PunctuatedForEmphasis NOT. THAT. TIGHT!]]



-->'''Critic:''' So Johnny gets up for a minute, and-
-->''(shot of Johnny walking to the bathroom, with his ass in plain view, but censored by a donkey head)''
-->'''Critic:''' [[ScreamingAtSquick DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!]] '''Fuck it''', movie, '''fuck it''' ! I got a hard enough time watching his acting, you gotta show me his ''ass''?! What the hell?!

to:

-->'''Critic:''' So Johnny gets up for a minute, and-
-->''(shot
and--\\
''(shot
of Johnny walking to the bathroom, with his ass in plain view, but censored by a donkey head)''
-->'''Critic:'''
head)''\\
'''Critic:'''
[[ScreamingAtSquick DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!]] '''Fuck it''', movie, '''fuck it''' ! I got a hard enough time watching his acting, you gotta show me his ''ass''?! What the hell?!



--> '''Johnny''': Anyway, how's your sex life?
--> '''NC''': ''(SpitTake)''
--> '''Mark''': Can't talk about it.
--> '''Johnny''': Why not?
--> '''NC''': Why not?! How about you just brought it the fuck out of nowhere, you...''[[BuffySpeak weird alien man]]''!

to:

--> '''Johnny''': -->'''Johnny:''' Anyway, how's your sex life?
--> '''NC''': ''(SpitTake)''
--> '''Mark''':
life?\\
'''Critic:''' ''(SpitTake)''\\
'''Mark:'''
Can't talk about it.
--> '''Johnny''':
it.\\
'''Johnny:'''
Why not?
--> '''NC''':
not?\\
'''Critic:'''
Why not?! How about you just brought it the fuck out of nowhere, you...''[[BuffySpeak weird alien man]]''!



-->'''Wiseau!Critic''': Oh, hi, [[FunetikAksent eeternet]]!. I'm Tommy Wiseau, and this is my [[HilariousInHindsight Tommy Wi-show]]...Seau? Show? ''(stammers)'' I am me. You probably know me from such classic movies as ''The Room'', and...and [[OneBookAuthor that's probably all you know me from.]]

to:

-->'''Wiseau!Critic''': -->'''Wiseau!Critic:''' Oh, hi, hai, [[FunetikAksent eeternet]]!. I'm Tommy Wiseau, and this is my [[HilariousInHindsight Tommy Wi-show]]...Seau? Show? ''(stammers)'' I am me. You probably know me from such classic movies as ''The Room'', and...and [[OneBookAuthor that's probably all you know me from.]]



--> '''Critic''': Let's talk about Film/{{The Phantom|1996}}! ''(cuts to ''Theatre/ThePhantomOfTheOpera'')'' No. Not ''that'' Phantom. ''(cuts to Creator/GerardButler as the Phantom of the Opera)'' [[TakeThat Eww! Definitely not that Phantom]]! No, believe it or not, there is actually something [[TakeThat far worse than Gerard Butler singing]]... ''({{Beat}})'' [[TakeThat Almost]].

to:

--> '''Critic''': -->'''Critic:''' Let's talk about Film/{{The Phantom|1996}}! ''(cuts to ''Theatre/ThePhantomOfTheOpera'')'' No. Not ''that'' Phantom. ''(cuts to Creator/GerardButler as the Phantom of the Opera)'' [[TakeThat Eww! Definitely not that Phantom]]! No, believe it or not, there is actually something [[TakeThat far worse than Gerard Butler singing]]... ''({{Beat}})'' [[TakeThat Almost]].



--> ''(arrow on Guttenberg)'' "Is afraid she has seen the Police Academy movies"

to:

--> ''(arrow -->''(arrow on Guttenberg)'' "Is afraid she has seen the Police Academy movies"



-->'''Zeus:''' I've always loved you.
-->'''Roxanne:''' That's totally gross, you're an abomination.
-->'''Zeus:''' Come on, my balls are gone but I can still get the job done.
-->'''Roxanne:''' JESUS you're nasty! Get the fuck away from me, perv!

to:

-->'''Zeus:''' I've always loved you.
-->'''Roxanne:'''
you.\\
'''Roxanne:'''
That's totally gross, you're an abomination.
-->'''Zeus:'''
abomination.\\
'''Zeus:'''
Come on, my balls are gone but I can still get the job done.
-->'''Roxanne:'''
done.\\
'''Roxanne:'''
JESUS you're nasty! Get the fuck away from me, perv!



-->'''Slappy''': When's the last time you saw the ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' get hit on the head with a mallet? It's never gonna happen.

to:

-->'''Slappy''': -->'''Slappy:''' When's the last time you saw the ''WesternAnimation/FamilyGuy'' get hit on the head with a mallet? It's never gonna happen.



-->'''Creator/HalleBerry's Character:''' How would you like it?
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Bllllaaaaaaa-- ''(voice starts dying down as he realizes how tactless finishing the word "black" would be)''
-->'''Fred:''' In a cup.
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Good answer!

to:

-->'''Creator/HalleBerry's Character:''' How would you like it?
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:'''
it?\\
'''Critic:'''
Bllllaaaaaaa-- ''(voice starts dying down as he realizes how tactless finishing the word "black" would be)''
-->'''Fred:'''
be)''\\
'''Fred:'''
In a cup.
-->'''Nostalgia Critic:'''
cup.\\
'''Critic:'''
Good answer!



-->'''Cliff:''' Give me the bird.
-->'''NC:''' Gladly! ''([[IncrediblyLamePun blows into his own thumb to simulate inflation, then flips him the bird]])''

to:

-->'''Cliff:''' Give me the bird.
-->'''NC:'''
bird.\\
'''Critic:'''
Gladly! ''([[IncrediblyLamePun blows into his own thumb to simulate inflation, then flips him the bird]])''



-->'''Dicta-Bird:''' I should've signed with Disney, they never would've allowed this sort of thing to happen!\\
'''NC:''' I dunno, [[Disney/TheLionKing killing innocent animals]] seems to be like a fetish for them.

to:

-->'''Dicta-Bird:''' --->'''Dicta-Bird:''' I should've signed with Disney, they never would've allowed this sort of thing to happen!\\
'''NC:''' '''Critic:''' I dunno, [[Disney/TheLionKing killing innocent animals]] seems to be like a fetish for them.



-->'''NC:''' (''moving like a bad animatronic'') I will be your guide on "The Flinstones Ride"!

to:

-->'''NC:''' -->'''Critic:''' (''moving like a bad animatronic'') I will be your guide on "The Flinstones Ride"!



-->'''NC:''' Wait, is that the Christmas Story Lamp? (''beat'') [[SarcasmFailure I don't get it.]]

to:

-->'''NC:''' -->'''Critic:''' Wait, is that the Christmas Story Lamp? (''beat'') [[SarcasmFailure I don't get it.]]



-->'''NC:''' Uhh, you know, there's a difference between pranks and ''attempted murder.'' I mean Jesus, kids, this is some creepy shit!
-->'''Alex Jr.:''' It's only low voltage. It can't kill him.
-->'''NC:''' Ah, okay, I guess it's not that bad.
-->'''Kate:''' Then crank it up!
-->'''NC:''' ''(disturbed expression; Hulk Hogan getting shocked, then screen cuts to cemetery)'' Okay, okay, that didn't happen, but it might as well!

to:

-->'''NC:''' -->'''Critic:''' Uhh, you know, there's a difference between pranks and ''attempted murder.'' I mean Jesus, kids, this is some creepy shit!
-->'''Alex
shit!\\
'''Alex
Jr.:''' It's only low voltage. It can't kill him.
-->'''NC:'''
him.\\
'''Critic:'''
Ah, okay, I guess it's not that bad.
-->'''Kate:'''
bad.\\
'''Kate:'''
Then crank it up!
-->'''NC:'''
up!\\
'''Critic:'''
''(disturbed expression; Hulk Hogan getting shocked, then screen cuts to cemetery)'' Okay, okay, that didn't happen, but it might as well!



--> '''Hogan''': That's it! I've had it!\\
'''Critic''': Ohohoho my God. This is the kind of thing they put on the back of horror movie [=DVDs=].

to:

--> '''Hogan''': -->'''Hogan''': That's it! I've had it!\\
'''Critic''': Ohohoho '''Critic:''' Ohohoho, my God. This is the kind of thing they put on the back of horror movie [=DVDs=].



--> '''Critic''': (chuckling as he watches) What the hell am I looking at? Y'know, for a movie with the premise of a male nanny, I ''really'' didn't expect some of this imagery.

to:

--> '''Critic''': (chuckling -->'''Critic:''' ''(chuckling as he watches) watches)'' What the hell am I looking at? Y'know, for a movie with the premise of a male nanny, I ''really'' didn't expect some of this imagery.



--->'''Critic!Apollo:''' [[OhCrap Oh shit!]] [[AttackAttackRetreatRetreat Uh... hey Rocky! What do you say we postpone this for about two weeks-]] (DING!) ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck Ohh fuck...]]''

to:

--->'''Critic!Apollo:''' [[OhCrap Oh shit!]] [[AttackAttackRetreatRetreat Uh... hey Rocky! What do you say we postpone this for about two weeks-]] (DING!) weeks]]-- '''*DING!*''' ''[[ThisIsGonnaSuck Ohh fuck...]]''



-->'''Critic!Adrian:''' Rocky, I came to [[{{Wangst}} bitch and moan at you]] about why you shouldn't fight!
-->'''Critic!Rocky:''' And I, the wise genius, [[FauxlosophicNarration have yet another bullshit reason about why I should fight]]!
-->'''Critic!Adrian:''' ''I can't support you!''
-->'''Critic!Rocky: Fine!'''
-->''(beat)''
-->'''Critic!Rocky:''' So... you come in the fourth act to support me?
-->'''Critic!Adrian:''' Don't I always?
-->'''Critic!Rocky:''' Cool.

to:

-->'''Critic!Adrian:''' Rocky, I came to [[{{Wangst}} bitch and moan at you]] about why you shouldn't fight!
-->'''Critic!Rocky:'''
fight!\\
'''Critic!Rocky:'''
And I, the wise genius, [[FauxlosophicNarration have yet another bullshit reason about why I should fight]]!
-->'''Critic!Adrian:'''
fight]]!\\
'''Critic!Adrian:'''
''I can't support you!''
-->'''Critic!Rocky: Fine!'''
-->''(beat)''
-->'''Critic!Rocky:'''
you!''\\
'''Critic!Rocky: Fine!'''\\
''(beat)''\\
'''Critic!Rocky:'''
So... you come in the fourth act to support me?
-->'''Critic!Adrian:'''
me?\\
'''Critic!Adrian:'''
Don't I always?
-->'''Critic!Rocky:'''
always?\\
'''Critic!Rocky:'''
Cool.



-->'''Announcer:''' "[[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus He says he puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars.]]"

to:

-->'''Announcer:''' "[[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus [[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus He says he puts on women's clothing and hangs around in bars.]]"]]



-->'''Critic!Rocky:''' Oh my God, this is a mistake. I immediately regret this. Oh, WOW is this guy tough! I can't feel the left side of my body! I don't remember who my mother is. Now I think I'm a cuckoo-clock. The more I think about it, the robot needs a sister. UUNNCLLEEEE!!!"

to:

-->'''Critic!Rocky:''' Oh Oh, my God, this is a mistake. I immediately regret this. Oh, WOW is this guy tough! I can't feel the left side of my body! I don't remember who my mother is. Now I think I'm a cuckoo-clock. The more I think about it, the robot needs a sister. UUNNCLLEEEE!!!"



-->'''Critic!Rocky: [[WhatTheHellHero Damnit Paulie,]]''' [[WhatAnIdiot I asked you to do two things!!!]] [[PreemptiveShutUp Shut up]], [[AssInAmbassador and not start an international incident]], ''[[NiceJobBreakingItHero you didn't do either!!]]''
* NC as Apollo Creed: "Never in all my years have I had another boxer tell me that ''he'' was gonna win instead of ''me''! What a shock! What an absolute shock!"

to:

-->'''Critic!Rocky: [[WhatTheHellHero -->'''Critic!Rocky:''' ''[[WhatTheHellHero Damnit Paulie,]]''' Paulie!]]'' [[WhatAnIdiot I asked you to do two things!!!]] [[PreemptiveShutUp Shut up]], [[AssInAmbassador and not start an international incident]], ''[[NiceJobBreakingItHero you didn't do either!!]]''
* NC as Apollo Creed: "Never *
-->'''Critic (as Apollo):''' Never
in all my years have I had another boxer tell me that ''he'' was gonna win instead of ''me''! What a shock! What an absolute shock!"



-->'''[[spoiler:Wallace]]''': Aaaaaaah, [[spoiler:[=GromiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIt=]]]!!

to:

-->'''[[spoiler:Wallace]]''': -->'''[[spoiler:Wallace]]:''' Aaaaaaah, [[spoiler:[=GromiiiiiIIIIIIIIIIt=]]]!!



-->(Raquel Welch shows up) Hello, Raquel Welch... (she leaves)...goodbye, Raquel Welch.

to:

-->(Raquel -->''(Raquel Welch shows up) up)'' Hello, Raquel Welch... (she leaves)...''(she leaves)''...goodbye, Raquel Welch.



-->'''Bradford:''' (To Carrot Top's character) Your ignorance is no longer charming.
-->'''Critic:''' His ignorance was ''never'' charming!

to:

-->'''Bradford:''' (To ''(to Carrot Top's character) character)'' Your ignorance is no longer charming.
-->'''Critic:'''
charming.\\
'''Critic:'''
His ignorance was ''never'' charming!



--> '''Douchey's Mom:''' Ask him if he wants to stay for dinner!

to:

--> '''Douchey's -->'''Douchey's Mom:''' Ask him if he wants to stay for dinner!



--> '''NC:''' Well of course, except for the appearance of the- ''(Bat-credit card appears)'' The Bat-nipples? Why would I care about the bat-nipples? They were in the last movie! ''(Bat-credit card appears again)'' Oh! Oh, I apologize! I must've seen that wrong. Sorry, heh! Let me just change my reaction accordingly. ''(ahem)'' [[BerserkButton A BAT CREDIT CARD?!!]] ''(goes berserk)''

to:

--> '''NC:''' -->'''Critic:''' Well of course, except for the appearance of the- the-- ''(Bat-credit card appears)'' The Bat-nipples? Why would I care about the bat-nipples? They were in the last movie! ''(Bat-credit card appears again)'' Oh! Oh, I apologize! I must've seen that wrong. Sorry, heh! Let me just change my reaction accordingly. ''(ahem)'' [[BerserkButton A BAT CREDIT CARD?!!]] ''(goes berserk)''



--> '''[=McNasty!Critic=]:''' Let me in at once! I am your new King!
--> '''[=Guard!Citic=]:''' Err, no you're not, we've got a President.
--> '''[=McNasty!Critic=]:''' But the bone, the bone!" ''(beat) (Guard!Critic shoots him)''

to:

--> '''[=McNasty!Critic=]:''' -->'''Critic (as [=McNasty=]):''' Let me in at once! I am your new King!
--> '''[=Guard!Citic=]:'''
King!\\
'''Citic (as Guard):'''
Err, no you're not, we've got a President.
--> '''[=McNasty!Critic=]:'''
President.\\
'''Critic (as [=McNasty=]):'''
But the bone, the bone!" ''(beat) (Guard!Critic bone! ''(beat; the Guard shoots him)''



-->'''Hubie''': Rocko, there's something you should know.\\
'''Critic''': [[WesternAnimation/RockosModernLife Your modern life]] is no longer in reruns.

to:

-->'''Hubie''': -->'''Hubie:''' Rocko, there's something you should know.\\
'''Critic''': '''Critic:''' [[WesternAnimation/RockosModernLife Your modern life]] is no longer in reruns.



-->'''Hubie:''' I dream about (Marina) night and day! I see her face when I close my eyes!\\

to:

-->'''Hubie:''' I dream about (Marina) [Marina] night and day! I see her face when I close my eyes!\\



-->"This is the Wishing Star. Our attorneys advise you to stop ripping off Disney, or we'll sue you for the little that you have. Thank you, and never call us again." ''(click)''

to:

-->"This is the Wishing Star. Our attorneys advise you to stop ripping off Disney, or we'll sue you for the little that you have. Thank you, and never call us again." ''(click)'''''*click*'''



-->'''Hubie:''' ''Sometimes I wonder what the colors mean...''\\
'''NC:''' Uh, why don't you figure out what that ''lyric'' means first? It's like saying "I wanna know what the sounds smell like!"

to:

-->'''Hubie:''' ''Sometimes ♪''Sometimes I wonder what the colors mean...''\\
'''NC:'''
''♪\\
'''Critic:'''
Uh, why don't you figure out what that ''lyric'' means first? It's like saying "I wanna know what the sounds smell like!"



--> '''Marina''': ''(singing)'' I close my eyes, and say a prayer...\\
'''Critic''': She's sad. Next.

to:

--> '''Marina''': '''Marina:''' ''(singing)'' I close my eyes, and say a prayer...\\
'''Critic''': '''Critic:''' She's sad. Next.



--> ''[[WebAnimation/HomestarRunner TROGDOOOOOOOOR!]]''

to:

--> ''[[WebAnimation/HomestarRunner -->''[[WebAnimation/HomestarRunner TROGDOOOOOOOOR!]]''



--> "Hooray! I'm a bi-racial, half-feline, cat person! How come I'm not more surprised?"

to:

--> "Hooray! -->"Hooray! I'm a bi-racial, half-feline, cat person! How come I'm not more surprised?"



-->'''Douchey [=McNitpick=]''': "In ''WesternAnimation/ThePebbleAndThePenguin'', seals can grow that big. I've heard several discussions about it on numerous blogs..." ''(squish)''

to:

-->'''Douchey [=McNitpick=]''': "In [=McNitpick=]:''' In ''WesternAnimation/ThePebbleAndThePenguin'', seals can grow that big. I've heard several discussions about it on numerous blogs..." ''(squish)'' '''*squish*'''



-->'''Ernest''': I've never been a quitter. Why I-I've never known ''when'' to quit! Just ask my 4th-Grade teacher.\\
'''Teacher''': He never knew when to quit. ''(Gives a 4th-Grade!Ernest a DopeSlap via OffhandBackhand for doing the NailsOnAChalkboard)''

to:

-->'''Ernest''': -->'''Ernest:''' I've never been a quitter. Why I-I've never known ''when'' to quit! Just ask my 4th-Grade teacher.\\
'''Teacher''': '''Teacher:''' He never knew when to quit. ''(Gives a 4th-Grade!Ernest a DopeSlap via OffhandBackhand for doing the NailsOnAChalkboard)''



-->'''Critic''': Of course! Showing [[ThePowerOfLove unconditional love]] to ''kill'' your enemies! That's the ultimate weapon of destruction! [[HeartIsAnAwesomePower Peace and love!]]

to:

-->'''Critic''': -->'''Critic:''' Of course! Showing [[ThePowerOfLove unconditional love]] to ''kill'' your enemies! That's the ultimate weapon of destruction! [[HeartIsAnAwesomePower Peace and love!]]



--> Good God man! That's been known to kill people!

to:

--> Good God --->Good God, man! That's been known to kill people!



* "Oh hey it's a beautiful Tim Curry out toni-'''''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!'''''"

to:

* "Oh hey it's a beautiful Tim Curry out toni-'''''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!'''''"toni-- '''''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!'''''"



--> '''Narrator''': "The only thing he could think of to do was to hold his bird book out in front of him like a shield and say as loud as he could the names of all the birds he could remember."
--> '''Nostalgia Critic''': "... Whaaaaaaaat...?"
--> '''Narrator''': "... hold his bird book out in front of him like a shield and say as loud as he could the names of all the birds he could remember."
--> '''Nostalgia Critic''': "... Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy...?"

to:

--> '''Narrator''': "The -->'''Narrator:''' The only thing he could think of to do was to hold his bird book out in front of him like a shield and say as loud as he could the names of all the birds he could remember."
--> '''Nostalgia Critic''': "...
\\
'''Critic:''' ...
Whaaaaaaaat...?"
--> '''Narrator''': "...
?\\
'''Narrator:''' ...
hold his bird book out in front of him like a shield and say as loud as he could the names of all the birds he could remember."
--> '''Nostalgia Critic''': "...
\\
'''Critic:''' ...
Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy...?"?



-->"Camera's purrrrty."
-->"Why are you all spinning?"
-->"I'm drunk, and I'm not even scared!"
-->"[[Series/ILoveLucy I'm the Vitameatavegamin boy.]]" What's great is the “wait hold on” style pause before he changes the line from girl to boy, like he forgets what gender he is when he's drunk.

to:

-->"Camera's purrrrty."
-->"Why
"\\
"Why
are you all spinning?"
-->"I'm
spinning?"\\
"I'm
drunk, and I'm not even scared!"
-->"[[Series/ILoveLucy
scared!"\\
"[[Series/ILoveLucy
I'm the Vitameatavegamin boy.]]" What's great is the “wait hold on” style pause before he changes the line from girl to boy, like he forgets what gender he is when he's drunk.



--> "I looked into its dead-lights." ''(looks at the camera with a scared face) (boing)''
--> "You looked into its dead-lights?!" ''(exaggerated astonished face) (computer "ta-daaa" error sound)''
--> "I looked into its dead-lights!" ''(stupid face) (rooster cry)''

to:

--> "I -->"I looked into its dead-lights." ''(looks at the camera with a scared face) (boing)''
-->
face)'' '''*boing*'''\\
"You looked into its dead-lights?!" ''(exaggerated astonished face) (computer face)'' '''*computer "ta-daaa" error sound)''
-->
sound*'''\\
"I looked into its dead-lights!" ''(stupid face) (rooster cry)''face)'' '''*rooster cry*'''



--> "Rawr, I've got you now little boy! RAA--Oh my God, it's almost three!"
--> ''(Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir theme song plays.)''

to:

--> "Rawr, -->"Rawr, I've got you now little boy! RAA--Oh RAA-- Oh, my God, it's almost three!"
-->
three!"\\
''(Series/TheFreshPrinceOfBelAir theme song plays.)''plays)''



--> '''Nostalgia Critic:''' What? WHAT? ''(throws whiskey in his face)'' WHATT??!! We waited three fucking hours for that??!! You can't be serious. You can't be serious!! If I heard that a movie called 'It' was just building up to a big silly monster, I think THIS ''(picture of [[Series/TheAddamsFamily Cousin Itt]])'' would have been a better payoff!!

to:

--> '''Nostalgia Critic:''' -->'''Critic:''' What? WHAT? ''(throws whiskey in his face)'' WHATT??!! We waited three fucking hours for that??!! You can't be serious. You can't be serious!! If I heard that a movie called 'It' was just building up to a big silly monster, I think THIS ''(picture of [[Series/TheAddamsFamily Cousin Itt]])'' would have been a better payoff!!



--> '''Nostalgia Critic:''' (Laughing) This is the funniest thing i've ever seen in my life- (slurred) Ah? It's Supposed to be scary? Nah, nah, it's supposed to be funny! [[ItMakesSenseinContext It's a dog dressed up as a clown]] in slowmotion! Ah? That was really supposed to be scary? Well it's not! It's not!

to:

--> '''Nostalgia -->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' (Laughing) ''(laughing)'' This is the funniest thing i've ever seen in my life- (slurred) life-- ''(slurred)'' Ah? It's Supposed supposed to be scary? Nah, nah, it's supposed to be funny! [[ItMakesSenseinContext It's a dog dressed up as a clown]] in slowmotion! Ah? That was really supposed to be scary? Well it's not! It's not!



--> "Are these the only fucking bullies in the town?! Come on, kids, give the skinheads across the street a chance!"

to:

--> "Are -->"Are these the only fucking bullies in the town?! Come on, kids, give the skinheads across the street a chance!"



--> '''Critic:''' ''(coughs)'' God ''damn'' it, I'm sick of this shit! How the hell do you do that voice?!
--> '''Snob:''' YEARS of drinking Crystal Pepsi, my friend.
--> '''Critic:''' Dick.

to:

--> '''Critic:''' -->'''Critic:''' ''(coughs)'' God ''damn'' it, I'm sick of this shit! How the hell do you do that voice?!
-->
voice?!\\
'''Snob:''' YEARS of drinking Crystal Pepsi, my friend.
-->
friend.\\
'''Critic:''' Dick.



-->'''NC:''' But wait a minute, if that happened to him, whatever happened to the box ?
-->'''Snob:''' Oh, that's OK, he's being looked after by top men.
-->'''NC:''' Who?
-->'''Snob:''' [[PunctuatedForEmphasis Top. Men.]] ''(cut to the ending from ''Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk'', with a logo saying "Notre Dame Fighting Irish Merchandise" superimposed over it.)''

to:

-->'''NC:''' -->'''Critic:''' But wait a minute, if that happened to him, whatever happened to the box ?
-->'''Snob:'''
box?\\
'''Snob:'''
Oh, that's OK, he's being looked after by top men.
-->'''NC:''' Who?
-->'''Snob:'''
men.\\
'''Critic:''' Who?\\
'''Snob:'''
[[PunctuatedForEmphasis Top. Men.]] ''(cut to the ending from ''Film/RaidersOfTheLostArk'', with a logo saying "Notre Dame Fighting Irish Merchandise" superimposed over it.)''



* When Creator/JenniferAniston tries to call for help.
--> Aniston: Hello, hello? Help us please! Come help us, we're trapped inside of here!
--> [[Literature/{{IT}} Pennywise]]: Do you have Prince Albert in a can? You DO? Well you better let the poor guy out. A-ha, a-ha, a-ha!

to:

* When Creator/JenniferAniston tries to call for help.
--> Aniston:
help over the phone.
-->'''Aniston:'''
Hello, hello? Help us please! Come help us, we're trapped inside of here!
--> [[Literature/{{IT}} Pennywise]]:
here!\\
'''[[Literature/{{IT}} Pennywise]]:'''
Do you have Prince Albert in a can? You DO? Well you better let the poor guy out. A-ha, a-ha, a-ha!



-->'''Critic''': [[CatScare CAAAAAAAAT!]]
-->'''Snob''': DOOOOOOG!

to:

-->'''Critic''': [[CatScare CAAAAAAAAT!]]
-->'''Snob''':
CAAAAAAAAT!]]\\
'''Snob''':
DOOOOOOG!



-->'''Critic''': "What are you doing?"
-->'''Snob''': "I don't know, I just thought we were shouting animals."

to:

-->'''Critic''': "What --->'''Critic:''' What are you doing?"
-->'''Snob''': "I
doing?\\
'''Snob:''' I
don't know, I just thought we were shouting animals."



-->'''Nostalgia Critic''': Thanks for joining me, Cinema Snob!
-->'''Cinema Snob''': Oh, thank you for-... no- this was a giant waste of time. (leaves)
-->'''Nostalgia Critic''': ... ''Dickhole''.
-->'''Cinema Snob''': (childishly) ''You're'' a dickhole!

to:

-->'''Nostalgia Critic''': -->'''Critic:''' Thanks for joining me, Cinema Snob!
-->'''Cinema Snob''':
Snob!\\
'''Snob:'''
Oh, thank you for-... no- this for-- ...No. This was a giant waste of time. (leaves)
-->'''Nostalgia Critic''': ... ''Dickhole''.
-->'''Cinema Snob''': (childishly)
''(leaves)''\\
'''Critic:''' ...''Dickhole''.\\
'''Snob:''' ''(childishly)''
''You're'' a dickhole!



--->'''Nostalgia Critic (Imitating Cinema Snob)''': And we're going to review this little masterpiece, right here, toda-
--->'''Real Cinema Snob''': Uh, excuse me, what do you think you're doing?
--->'''Nostalgia Critic''': ... I'm the Cinema Snob.
--->'''Cinema Snob''': ''I'm'' the Cinema Snob.
--->'''Nostalgia Critic''': No, I'm the Cinema Snob.
--->'''Cinema Snob''': No, '''''I'm''''' the Cinema Snob.
--->'''Both in unison''': Tssssssssssssss-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhh.
--->'''Cinema Snob''': Well, okay, what do you say we review this anus turkey together?
--->'''Nostalgia Critic''': I would like that.
--->'''Both''': HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-''tsssssssssssss-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhh''.

to:

--->'''Nostalgia Critic (Imitating Cinema Snob)''': --->'''Critic:''' ''(imitating the Snob)'' And we're going to review this little masterpiece, right here, toda-
--->'''Real Cinema Snob''':
toda--\\
'''Snob:'''
Uh, excuse me, what do you think you're doing?
--->'''Nostalgia Critic''': ...
doing?\\
'''Critic:''' ...
I'm the Cinema Snob.
--->'''Cinema Snob''':
Snob.\\
'''Snob:'''
''I'm'' the Cinema Snob.
--->'''Nostalgia Critic''':
Snob.\\
'''Critic:'''
No, I'm the Cinema Snob.
--->'''Cinema Snob''':
Snob.\\
'''Cinema Snob:'''
No, '''''I'm''''' the Cinema Snob.
--->'''Both
Snob.\\
'''Both
in unison''': Tssssssssssssss-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhh.
--->'''Cinema Snob''':
unison:''' Tssssssssssssss-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhh.\\
'''Cinema Snob:'''
Well, okay, what do you say we review this anus turkey together?
--->'''Nostalgia Critic''':
together?\\
'''Nostalgia Critic:'''
I would like that.
--->'''Both''': HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-''tsssssssssssss-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhh''.
that.\\
'''Both:''' HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-- ''tsssssssssssss-uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhh''.



--> [[Series/TheAddamsFamily "They're creepy and they're kooky."]]

to:

--> [[Series/TheAddamsFamily -->[[Series/TheAddamsFamily "They're creepy and they're kooky."]]



-->'''Alex''': [[PreMortemOneLiner Fuck you, Lucky Charms!]]
-->(The Critic and Cinema Snob go into euphoria)

to:

-->'''Alex''': [[PreMortemOneLiner Fuck you, Lucky Charms!]]
-->(The
Charms!]]\\
''(The
Critic and Cinema Snob go into euphoria)euphoria)''



-->'''Snob:''' (as leprechaun) You ''will'' take me seriously!

to:

-->'''Snob:''' -->'''Snob (as leprechaun) leprechaun):''' You ''will'' take me seriously!



-->'''Both:''' Aww, come on!
-->'''Critic:''' What, is the truck made out of ''styrofoam?!''
-->'''Snob:''' My ''HotWheels'' don't flip over that easy!

to:

-->'''Both:''' Aww, come on!
-->'''Critic:'''
on!\\
'''Critic:'''
What, is the truck made out of ''styrofoam?!''
-->'''Snob:'''
''styrofoam?!''\\
'''Snob:'''
My ''HotWheels'' don't flip over that easy!



--->'''Tory''': Nathan... that was no [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] bear!\\
'''Critic and Snob''': Doyyyyyy!

to:

--->'''Tory''': --->'''Tory:''' Nathan... that was no [[PrecisionFStrike fucking]] bear!\\
'''Critic and Snob''': Snob:''' Doyyyyyy!



-->'''Rob''': Ah, Gary Larson. I like cows too.

to:

-->'''Rob''': -->'''Rob:''' Ah, Gary Larson. I like cows too.



-->'''Critic''': '''JESUS!!!''' ''(falls from his chair)'' The movie just got a sudden meth attack out of nowhere!

to:

-->'''Critic''': -->'''Critic:''' '''JESUS!!!''' ''(falls from his chair)'' The movie just got a sudden meth attack out of nowhere!



--> '''Critic''': Uhhhhhhh...
--> '''Narrator''': You can bounce and slide on Wet Banana like Billy!
--> '''Critic''': Yes....be like Billy and take ride on the Wet Banana.
--> '''Narrator''': You can dip and slide like Willy!
--> '''Critic''': Yes...dipping and sliding is a good thing to do with your Wet Banana.
--> '''Narrator''': Wet Banana's fun for the whole gang!
--> '''Critic''': A very special kind of gang, but yes slippery wet fun is guaranteed.
--> '''Narrator''': Could that be [[YourMom mom]] on [[AccidentalInnuendo Wet]] [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything Banana?]]
--> '''Critic''': ''(SpitTake)''
--> '''Narrator''': It is!
--> '''Critic''': Mom! Get off my Wet Banana! ... What would Dad say?

to:

--> '''Critic''': Uhhhhhhh...
--> '''Narrator''':
-->'''Critic:''' Uhhhhhhh...\\
'''Narrator:'''
You can bounce and slide on Wet Banana like Billy!
--> '''Critic''':
Billy!\\
'''Critic:'''
Yes....be like Billy and take ride on the Wet Banana.
--> '''Narrator''':
Banana.\\
'''Narrator:'''
You can dip and slide like Willy!
--> '''Critic''':
Willy!\\
'''Critic:'''
Yes...dipping and sliding is a good thing to do with your Wet Banana.
--> '''Narrator''':
Banana.\\
'''Narrator:'''
Wet Banana's fun for the whole gang!
--> '''Critic''':
gang!\\
'''Critic:'''
A very special kind of gang, but yes but, yes, slippery wet fun is guaranteed.
--> '''Narrator''':
guaranteed.\\
'''Narrator:'''
Could that be [[YourMom mom]] on [[AccidentalInnuendo Wet]] [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything Banana?]]
--> '''Critic''': ''(SpitTake)''
--> '''Narrator''':
Banana?]]\\
'''Critic:''' ''(SpitTake)''\\
'''Narrator:'''
It is!
--> '''Critic''':
is!\\
'''Critic:'''
Mom! Get off my Wet Banana! ... Banana! ...What would Dad say?



--> '''Critic''': ''(listening to the "To Be or Not to Be: soliloquy, eyes crossing in confusion around the middle, ultimately leading to [[YourHeadASplode his head a sploding]] around "for in this sleep of death, what dreams may come")''

to:

--> '''Critic''': -->'''Critic:''' ''(listening to the "To Be or Not to Be: soliloquy, eyes crossing in confusion around the middle, ultimately leading to [[YourHeadASplode his head a sploding]] around "for in this sleep of death, what dreams may come")''



-->'''Barney''': Hey Fred, how can we celebrate Christmas if Jesus hasn't been born yet?
-->'''Fred''': Just eat your [[PrecisionFStrike fuckin']] cereal.

to:

-->'''Barney''': -->'''Barney:''' Hey Fred, how can we celebrate Christmas if Jesus hasn't been born yet?
-->'''Fred''':
yet?\\
'''Fred:'''
Just eat your [[PrecisionFStrike fuckin']] cereal.



-->'''Critic as TV''': ''(Big Echoing Voice)'' I'm so confident you won't stop watching me, that I'm just giving you books! ''(Evil Laughter)'' You can't break your addiction of me! [[TechnologyMarchesOn I won't die until the Internet's invented! I've got 10 more years, suckers!]] ''(Evil Laughter)''

to:

-->'''Critic as TV''': (as TV):''' ''(Big Echoing Voice)'' I'm so confident you won't stop watching me, that I'm just giving you books! ''(Evil Laughter)'' You can't break your addiction of me! [[TechnologyMarchesOn I won't die until the Internet's invented! I've got 10 more years, suckers!]] ''(Evil Laughter)''



---> ''(Fraggle Rock theme plays on TV)''
---> '''Kid:''' (turns off TV) I love Series/FraggleRock!
---> '''Critic:''' [[FridgeLogic Then why'd you turn it off?]]

to:

---> ''(Fraggle Rock theme plays on TV)''
--->
TV)''\\
'''Kid:''' (turns off TV) I love Series/FraggleRock!
--->
Series/FraggleRock!\\
'''Critic:''' [[FridgeLogic Then why'd you turn it off?]]



-->'''Announcer''': It's fun to help Magic Potty Baby learn to use her potty.
-->'''Critic''': NO, IT'S NOT. [[{{Squick}} IT'S FUCKING GROSS!]]

to:

-->'''Announcer''': -->'''Announcer:''' It's fun to help Magic Potty Baby learn to use her potty.
-->'''Critic''':
potty.\\
'''Critic:'''
NO, IT'S NOT. [[{{Squick}} IT'S FUCKING GROSS!]]



--->'''Announcer''': Magic Potty Baby and her magic potty. No water, no mess.
--->'''Critic''': Just pray that doesn't have to [[ToiletHumor go number two]].

to:

--->'''Announcer''': --->'''Announcer:''' Magic Potty Baby and her magic potty. No water, no mess.
--->'''Critic''':
mess.\\
'''Critic:'''
Just pray that doesn't have to [[ToiletHumor go number two]].



-->'''Kid''': YEAH!
-->'''Critic''': YEAH!
-->'''Kid''': MOVE!
-->'''Critic''': MOVE!
-->'''Kid''': GO!
-->'''Critic''': GO!
-->'''Kid''': [[ItMakesSenseInContext BAKE!]]
-->'''Critic''': [[{{Mondegreen}} BAKE!]] [[DoubleTake What?]]

to:

-->'''Kid''': YEAH!
-->'''Critic''': YEAH!
-->'''Kid''': MOVE!
-->'''Critic''': MOVE!
-->'''Kid''': GO!
-->'''Critic''': GO!
-->'''Kid''':
-->'''Kid:''' YEAH!\\
'''Critic:''' YEAH!\\
'''Kid:''' MOVE!\\
'''Critic:''' MOVE!\\
'''Kid:''' GO!\\
'''Critic:''' GO!\\
'''Kid:'''
[[ItMakesSenseInContext BAKE!]]
-->'''Critic''':
BAKE!]]\\
'''Critic:'''
[[{{Mondegreen}} BAKE!]] [[DoubleTake What?]]



-->'''Kids''': Chi-chi-chi-chi-Chia!
-->'''Critic''': Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bullshit.

to:

-->'''Kids''': Chi-chi-chi-chi-Chia!
-->'''Critic''':
--->'''Kids:''' Chi-chi-chi-chi-Chia!\\
'''Critic:'''
Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu-bullshit.



--> Why were they playing with a furry, pillow-like ball to begin with? "Hey, you got our basketball? Oh wow, that's a hairy fucker! And it doesn't bounce in the slightest! This'll do us well."

to:

--> Why -->Why were they playing with a furry, pillow-like ball to begin with? "Hey, you got our basketball? Oh wow, that's a hairy fucker! And it doesn't bounce in the slightest! This'll do us well."



--> '''Mom:''' Biiiilllllyyyy, iiiittt's mmooottthhheerrrr...cooommmeeee toooo diinnnnneeerrrrr...."

to:

--> '''Mom:''' -->'''Mom:''' Biiiilllllyyyy, iiiittt's mmooottthhheerrrr...cooommmeeee toooo diinnnnneeerrrrr...."



-->'''Critic''': The name of the film is "The Thief and the Cobbler... Or, "The Princess and the Cobbler"... Or, "Arabian Knight"?... Or, [[ThisIsGonnaSuck "An Abomination of Assness"]], which is what most people call it.

to:

-->'''Critic''': -->'''Critic:''' The name of the film is "The Thief and the Cobbler... Or, "The Princess and the Cobbler"... Or, "Arabian Knight"?... Or, [[ThisIsGonnaSuck "An Abomination of Assness"]], which is what most people call it.



---> '''NC"''' ''(imitating a toddler's voice)'': ''(Picture of a tack)'' Tack! ''(Picture of a maze)'' Zig-Zag! ''(Picture of a slice of pie)'' Yum-yum! ''(Picture of the the title card of the movie)'' Shitty fuck fuck, shitty fuck, shit fuck!

to:

---> '''NC"''' ''(imitating -->'''Critic (as a toddler's voice)'': ''(Picture toddler):''' ''(picture of a tack)'' Tack! ''(Picture ''(picture of a maze)'' Zig-Zag! ''(Picture ''(picture of a slice of pie)'' Yum-yum! ''(Picture ''(picture of the the title card of the movie)'' Shitty fuck fuck, shitty fuck, shit fuck!



-->'''Zigzag:''' "Now that I have the balls--"\\
'''[[WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}} Yakko]]:''' "Good night, everybody!"

to:

-->'''Zigzag:''' "Now Now that I have the balls--"\\
balls--\\
'''[[WesternAnimation/{{Animaniacs}} Yakko]]:''' "Good Good night, everybody!"everybody!



-->''(the 3 balls turn into the [[Anime/DragonBallZ dragonballs]] as [[CrowningMusicOfAwesome Rock]] [[EarWorm the Dragon]] plays)''
-->'''Critic''': ''(dismissive laugh)'' Naw, that can't be it.

to:

-->''(the 3 balls turn into the [[Anime/DragonBallZ dragonballs]] as [[CrowningMusicOfAwesome Rock]] [[EarWorm the Dragon]] plays)''
-->'''Critic''':
plays)''\\
'''Critic:'''
''(dismissive laugh)'' Naw, that can't be it.



--> '''Critic:''' Okay, this is turning into a watershow. Just slap the Universal Studios Florida logo in the corner and the advertising takes care of itself.

to:

--> '''Critic:''' -->'''Critic:''' Okay, this is turning into a watershow. Just slap the Universal Studios Florida logo in the corner and the advertising takes care of itself.



--> "We can look to our own for impregnation, but... too much of that sort of thing gets... undesirable..." ''([[{{Deliverance}} "Dueling Banjos"]])''

to:

--> "We -->"We can look to our own for impregnation, but... too much of that sort of thing gets... undesirable..." ''([[{{Deliverance}} "Dueling Banjos"]])''



--> '''Atoll Chief:''' In the interest of public safety, he is hereby sentenced to recycling!
--> '''Nostalgia Critic:''' Into WHAT, KeanuReeves?

to:

--> '''Atoll -->'''Atoll Chief:''' In the interest of public safety, he is hereby sentenced to recycling!
--> '''Nostalgia Critic:'''
recycling!\\
'''Critic:'''
Into WHAT, KeanuReeves?



-->'''Gregor:''' I'm sorry! It was an accident!
-->'''Film/TheWizardOfOz:''' I can't come back, I don't know how it works! Goodbye folks!

to:

-->'''Gregor:''' I'm sorry! It was an accident!
-->'''Film/TheWizardOfOz:'''
accident!\\
'''Film/TheWizardOfOz:'''
I can't come back, I don't know how it works! Goodbye folks!



--> '''NC:''' His fro can block out the light of a thousand suns, his teeth can take out the biggest of Kahuna burgers and his constant use of the [[NWordPrivileges N-Word]] makes my mommy so angry but he's so worth the R-rating ''(Jackson fires a gun)'' Ahhh!
--> '''Jules:''' I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?

to:

--> '''NC:''' -->'''Critic:''' His fro can block out the light of a thousand suns, his teeth can take out the biggest of Kahuna burgers and his constant use of the [[NWordPrivileges N-Word]] makes my mommy so angry but he's so worth the R-rating ''(Jackson fires a gun)'' Ahhh!
-->
Ahhh!\\
'''Jules:''' I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?



--> '''Costner''': ''(dully)'' My boat.
--> '''Critic''': ''(monotone)'' [[Film/PlanetOfTheApes1968 You maniacs. You blew it all up. Damn you. Damn you all to hell.]]

to:

--> '''Costner''': -->'''Costner:''' ''(dully)'' My boat.
--> '''Critic''':
boat.\\
'''Critic:'''
''(monotone)'' [[Film/PlanetOfTheApes1968 You maniacs. You blew it all up. Damn you. Damn you all to hell.]]



-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Oh, you mean a naked [[Franchise/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles April O'Neil]] covered in whipped cream and chocolate sauce? ''({{beat}})'' I'm an early bloomer, so WHAT?!

to:

-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' -->'''Critic:''' Oh, you mean a naked [[Franchise/TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles April O'Neil]] covered in whipped cream and chocolate sauce? ''({{beat}})'' I'm an early bloomer, so WHAT?!



-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Does it have to be written in Howie Mandel's contract that ever single character he plays is allergic to bright light? Are bright lights part of his OCD? Does he have some kind of paranoia against them? Seriously, what would happen if he stepped in bright light?
-->[[spoiler:'''[[Literature/{{Twilight}} Bella]]:''' [[BishieSparkle It's like diamonds!]]]]

to:

-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' -->''Critic:''' Does it have to be written in Howie Mandel's contract that ever single character he plays is allergic to bright light? Are bright lights part of his OCD? Does he have some kind of paranoia against them? Seriously, what would happen if he stepped in bright light?
-->[[spoiler:'''[[Literature/{{Twilight}}
light?\\
[[spoiler:'''[[Literature/{{Twilight}}
Bella]]:''' [[BishieSparkle It's like diamonds!]]]]



--> '''Critic:''' Hey, Harold! I got this great idea for a kid's movie! It's me as a dog!
--> '''Harold Ramis:''' [[Film/{{Ghostbusters 1984}} I think that would be extraordinarily dangerous.]]
--> '''Critic:''' Glad you like it! Bye! Ho ho!

to:

--> '''Critic:''' -->'''Critic:''' Hey, Harold! I got this great idea for a kid's movie! It's me as a dog!
-->
dog!\\
'''Harold Ramis:''' [[Film/{{Ghostbusters 1984}} I think that would be extraordinarily dangerous.]]
-->
]]\\
'''Critic:''' Glad you like it! Bye! Ho ho!



--> '''Nostalgia Kitten:''' A CAT CREDIT CARD??!!!" Eh? Eh? [Is shot. VideoGame/DuckHunt dog appears with a sub-machine gun and laughs]

to:

--> '''Nostalgia -->'''Nostalgia Kitten:''' A CAT ''CAT'' CREDIT CARD??!!!" CARD??!!! Eh? Eh? [Is shot. ''(is shot; VideoGame/DuckHunt dog appears with a sub-machine gun and laughs]laughs)''



--> '''Critic:''' Yeeeaah, um... ''how'' many more one-liners are there in this movi-?
--> *3,422*
--> '''Critic (voice cracking):''' '''''OH, GOD!!'''''

to:

--> '''Critic:''' -->'''Critic:''' Yeeeaah, um... ''how'' many more one-liners are there in this movi-?
--> *3,422*
--> '''Critic (voice cracking):''' '''''OH, GOD!!'''''
movi--?\\
'''Caption:''' 3,422\\
'''Critic:''' ''(voice cracking) OH, GOD!!''



--> '''Critic:''' All in favor of skipping this song say "Fuck off!"\\

to:

--> '''Critic:''' -->'''Critic:''' All in favor of skipping this song say "Fuck off!"\\



'''Critic:''' A life that... we were gonna take ''anyway''. Um... but, um...\\

to:

'''Critic:''' '''Critic (as Farmer):''' A life that... we were gonna take ''anyway''. Um... but, um...\\



'''Critic:''' Yeah, what she said!

to:

'''Critic:''' '''Critic (as Farmer):''' Yeah, what she said!



-->'''Critic:''' Can somebody explain why the sheep ended up in the tree?
-->'''Graham Chapman:''' [[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus These sheep are laboring under the misapprehension that they are birds. Notice how they do not so much fly as plummet.]]

to:

-->'''Critic:''' Can somebody explain why the sheep ended up in the tree?
-->'''Graham
tree?\\
'''Graham
Chapman:''' [[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus These sheep are laboring under the misapprehension that they are birds. Notice how they do not so much fly as plummet.]]



-->'''Boy:''' Dad's gonna bring the pick-up around and take you to the airport.
-->''(Rover jumps around and dances joyfully until he sees Daisy)''
-->'''Critic:''' ... [[{{Jerkass}} What an asshole]].

to:

-->'''Boy:''' Dad's gonna bring the pick-up around and take you to the airport.
-->''(Rover
airport.\\
''(Rover
jumps around and dances joyfully until he sees Daisy)''
-->'''Critic:''' ...
Daisy)''\\
'''Critic:''' ...
[[{{Jerkass}} What an asshole]].



** I got a kick out of even Ask That Guy being much nicer and well-adjusted without the Critic around. [[spoiler: Even though he still loves hookers, of course.]]

to:

** I got a kick out of even Ask That Guy being is much nicer and well-adjusted without the Critic around. [[spoiler: Even [[spoiler:Even though he still loves hookers, of course.]]



-->'''Roger:''' Oh come on! These can't possibly be as bad as Joe being the President of the United States.\\
'''Nostalgia Critic:''' I suppose you're right. I mean, it can't get any worse.\\

to:

-->'''Roger:''' Oh --->'''Roger:''' Oh, come on! These can't possibly be as bad as Joe being the President of the United States.\\
'''Nostalgia Critic:''' '''Critic:''' I suppose you're right. I mean, it can't get any worse.\\



--> '''Roger''': See, Critic, you really were a rotten dirty bastard, All the people you came in contact with would have led a better life ''[places his left hand on NC's shoulder]'' if you had never met them at all.

to:

--> '''Roger''': --->'''Roger:''' See, Critic, you really were a rotten dirty bastard, All the people you came in contact with would have led a better life ''[places his left hand on NC's shoulder]'' if you had never met them at all.



-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Merry Christmas, you porn-reviewing fucktard!\\

to:

-->'''Nostalgia Critic:''' -->'''Critic:''' Merry Christmas, you porn-reviewing fucktard!\\



'''Nostalgia Critic:''' Merry Christmas, you self-righteous activist for anything, you!\\
'''Nostalgia Chick:''' ''[Deadpan]'' I so wish you'd die.\\

to:

'''Nostalgia Critic:''' '''Critic:''' Merry Christmas, you self-righteous activist for anything, you!\\
'''Nostalgia Chick:''' ''[Deadpan]'' ''(deadpan)'' I so wish you'd die.\\



''Linkara puts down his comic & flips the Critic off''\\

to:

''Linkara ''(Linkara puts down his comic & and flips the Critic off''\\off)''\\



'''Spoony:''' ''[Cheerfully]'' Thanks a lot, I'll see you in hell!

to:

'''Spoony:''' ''[Cheerfully]'' ''(cheerfully)'' Thanks a lot, I'll see you in hell!



''Santa Christ proceeds to look around the room blankly for three or four seconds, and the credits roll.''

to:

''Santa ''(Santa Christ proceeds to look around the room blankly for three or four seconds, and the credits roll.''roll)''



--> '''Spoony:''' [[spoiler:A BAT CREDIT CARD? NOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOO! DOES NOT COMPUTE!!!]]

to:

--> '''Spoony:''' -->'''Spoony:''' [[spoiler:A BAT CREDIT CARD? NOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOO! DOES NOT COMPUTE!!!]]



-->'''Doug:''' You're an asshole.

to:

-->'''Doug:''' --->'''Doug:''' You're an asshole.



-->'''Brad:''' And that was my day.
-->'''Jillian:''' You really want him to blow you.

to:

-->'''Brad:''' --->'''Brad:''' And that was my day.
-->'''Jillian:'''
day.\\
'''Jillian:'''
You really want him to blow you.



--> '''Spoony''': Almost lost my goddamn mind for a minute there!

to:

--> '''Spoony''': -->'''Spoony:''' Almost lost my goddamn mind for a minute there!



--> '''Critic:''' Oh my God, the loss of innocent life! Lord knows how many innocent families were in there and now are suddenly ''[sobbing]'' de-ea-ea-ead! Oh my God! The impact this must have on our heroes!\\

to:

--> '''Critic:''' -->'''Critic:''' Oh my God, the loss of innocent life! Lord knows how many innocent families were in there and now are suddenly ''[sobbing]'' de-ea-ea-ead! Oh my God! The impact this must have on our heroes!\\



''[The critic stares aghast for a [[{{Beat}} moment]]]''\\

to:

''[The critic ''[the Critic stares aghast for a [[{{Beat}} moment]]]''\\



--> '''Critic:''' OK; we all know this gag. The woman overreacts and runs away screaming while ''(the old lady pulls out a machinegun and points it at the turtles and April)'' '''HOLY SHIT !'''
--> '''Old Lady:''' One twitch and you're history, scum! Now back off, nice and easy!
--> '''Critic (Imitating the lady):''' Moses from ''Film/{{Planet of the Apes|1968}}'' says it's my right to own one of those things and BY GOD I'm going to exercise that right !

to:

--> '''Critic:''' -->'''Critic:''' OK; we all know this gag. The woman overreacts and runs away screaming while ''(the old lady pulls out a machinegun and points it at the turtles and April)'' '''HOLY SHIT !'''
--> '''Old -->'''Old Lady:''' One twitch and you're history, scum! Now back off, nice and easy!
-->
easy!\\
'''Critic (Imitating (imitating the lady):''' Moses from ''Film/{{Planet of the Apes|1968}}'' says it's my right to own one of those things and BY GOD I'm going to exercise that right !



--> '''Critic:''' All right, sending camera crew to hmm-hmm-hmm. By any chance, is that off of "'''HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLP!'''" Street?

to:

--> '''Critic:''' -->'''Critic:''' All right, sending camera crew to hmm-hmm-hmm. By any chance, is that off of "'''HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLP!'''" Street?
29th Jul '17 1:20:14 PM Everlighte
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* "Oh hey it's a beautiful Tim Curry out to-'''''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!'''''"

to:

* "Oh hey it's a beautiful Tim Curry out to-'''''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!'''''"toni-'''''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!'''''"
29th Jul '17 1:18:59 PM Everlighte
Is there an issue? Send a Message


* ''(slashes his wrists)'' "Oh, wait, before I go, I should probably explain the situation.. ''(writes on the wall with his blood)'' "It"... ''(beat)'' and they can figure the rest from there." ''(dies)''

to:

* ''(slashes his wrists)'' "Oh, wait, before I go, I should probably explain the situation.. ''(writes on the wall with his blood)'' "It"... "It..." ''(beat)'' and they can figure the rest from there." ''(dies)''
29th Jul '17 1:18:15 PM Everlighte
Is there an issue? Send a Message


* ''(slashes his wrists)'' "Oh, wait, before I go, I should probably explain the situation.. ''(writes on the wall with his blood)''''It''... ''(beat)'' and they can figure the rest from there." ''(dies)''

to:

* ''(slashes his wrists)'' "Oh, wait, before I go, I should probably explain the situation.. ''(writes on the wall with his blood)''''It''...blood)'' "It"... ''(beat)'' and they can figure the rest from there." ''(dies)''
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.TheNostalgiaCritic2010Episodes