History Funny / TheGeorgeLopezShow

27th May '16 2:41:30 PM CJCroen1393
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** A subtle example, but even in a world where she's a terrific mother, Benny getting drunk is a universal constant (she's just not a full on alcoholic).
-->'''George:''' (''bewildered over Benny's friendly behavior'') Are you drunk!?\\
'''Benny:''' Drinking before five? I don't think so!
16th Apr '16 1:49:25 PM ilovehirohamada
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--> Max: "Carmen, they found ''ANOTHER ONE''.

to:

--> Max: -->'''Max:''' "Carmen, they found ''ANOTHER ONE''.
16th Apr '16 1:45:47 PM ilovehirohamada
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--> Ernie: (reading the note) "I hope you build a new house..."
--> Angie: "well, that's not bad"
--> Ernie: ..."but this time with the windows painted shut so you're trapped inside and burn alive like the wicked witch you are!!"

to:

--> Ernie: (reading -->'''Ernie:''' ''(reading the note) "I note)'' I hope you build a new house..."
--> Angie: "well,
house...
-->'''Angie:''' Well,
that's not bad"
--> Ernie: ..."but
bad.
-->'''Ernie:''' ...But
this time with the windows painted shut so you're trapped inside and burn alive like the wicked witch you are!!" are!



-->'''Ernie''': Yeah, [[{{Understatement}} she's not well liked]].

to:

-->'''Ernie''': Yeah, [[{{Understatement}} she's not well liked]].well-liked]].



* In "Max's Big Adventure", George isn't sure that Max should walk to school by himself. So he gets his work carpool driver to drive around and try to see if Max will get in the car. Max doesn't fall for anything, but the neighbor kid does. George says he will give the kid all the change in his pockets if he shuts up. Then, when a policeman pulls them over, the boy blurts out "He said if I keep my mouth shut, I can have what's in his pocket!"

to:

* In "Max's Big Adventure", George isn't sure that Max should walk to school by himself. So he gets his work carpool driver to drive around and try to see if Max will get in the car. Max doesn't fall for anything, but the neighbor kid does. George says he will give the kid all the change in his pockets if he shuts up. Then, when a policeman pulls them over, the boy blurts out "He said if I keep my mouth shut, I can have what's in his pocket!"pants!"



--> Dentist: My mom locked me in the closet for a day and a half just so she could go and party!

to:

--> Dentist: -->'''Dentist:''' My mom locked me in the closet for a day and a half just so she could go and party!



--> George: Oh yeah, well my neighbor touched me inappropriately IN MY [=NO-NOs=].

to:

--> George: -->'''George:''' Oh yeah, well my neighbor touched me inappropriately IN MY [=NO-NOs=].



* [[PunctuatedPounding WHAT. HAPPENED. DURING. LUNCH?!]] [[LoveMakesYouCrazy WHAT. HAPPENED. DURING. LUNCH?!]]
* Benny trying to convince George to buy things from his childhood. She takes out an old teddy bear (Mr Bear Bear) and then makes it beg George to take it back ("She already took one eye for her dress. Help me! Heeeeelllllllpppppp me!").

to:

* [[PunctuatedPounding WHAT. HAPPENED. DURING. WHAT1 HAPPENED! DURING! LUNCH?!]] [[LoveMakesYouCrazy WHAT. HAPPENED. DURING. WHAT! HAPPENED! DURING! LUNCH?!]]
* Benny trying to convince George to buy things from his childhood. She takes out an old teddy bear (Mr Bear Bear) (Mr. Bear-Bear) and then makes it beg George to take it back ("She already took one eye for her dress. Help me! Heeeeelllllllpppppp me!").



* George makes a wish for his birthday, Vic comes in and says that Benny's house burnt down. George's instant reaction was "I swear my wish was about Carmen!" referring to the trouble with their daughter at the time of the scene.



* After Jason has a roidrage and leaves the Lopez house, George tries searching for him and fails saying:
--> George (as Jason): WHY GEORGE CHASE JASON? JASON WANT ALONE!

to:

* After Jason has a roidrage roid-rage and leaves the Lopez house, George tries searching for him and fails saying:
--> George -->'''George (as Jason): Jason):''' WHY GEORGE CHASE JASON? JASON WANT ALONE!



-->'''Phillip:''' Oh God! No! No! No!

to:

-->'''Phillip:''' Oh Oh, God! No! No! No!



-->'''George''': I could be the kind of person who'd just let her break my golf clubs, but instead I'm the kind of person that goes into her car and takes this. *Pulls out a steering wheel while sporting a huge grin*

to:

-->'''George''': I could be the kind of person who'd just let her break my golf clubs, but instead I'm the kind of person that goes into her car and takes this. *Pulls ''[Pulls out a steering wheel while sporting a huge grin*grin]''



-->'''George:''' '''''AY DIOS MIO!!!''''' ''WHYYYYY!? Why couldn't you take the kids!?''

to:

-->'''George:''' '''''AY DIOS MIO!!!''''' ''WHYYYYY!? ''WHYYYYY?! Why couldn't you take the kids!?''kids?!''



-->'''Angie''': *Reading* For every day I don't get my trip to Reno, one of your loved ones will die.

to:

-->'''Angie''': *Reading* ''[Reading]'' For every day I don't get my trip to Reno, one of your loved ones will die.



-->'''George''': Oh my God... OH MY GOD. '''''[[{{Squee}} IT'S PUFNSTUF!!!!!]]''''' (hugs him) You're soft! I knew you'd be soft!

to:

-->'''George''': Oh Oh, my God... OH OH, MY GOD. '''''[[{{Squee}} IT'S PUFNSTUF!!!!!]]''''' (hugs him) ''(hugs him)'' You're soft! I knew ''knew'' you'd be soft!



'''Angie:''' No you can't. You'll have to raise Max, because your father and I will have ''died from shock''.

to:

'''Angie:''' No No, you can't. You'll have to raise Max, because your father and I will have ''died from shock''.



-->'''George:''' Angie, remember when I said Carmen's virginity was hanging on by a thread? ''(beat)'' '''Here's the thread!'''

to:

-->'''George:''' Angie, remember when I said Carmen's virginity was hanging on by a thread? ''(beat)'' '''Here's the thread!''''''HERE'S THE THREAD!'''



'''Angie AND Vic's fiancee:''' [[FreudianSlip Yes daddy?]]\\

to:

'''Angie AND Vic's fiancee:''' [[FreudianSlip Yes daddy?]]\\Yes, Daddy?]]\\
14th Feb '16 3:15:19 AM ZeroWizard
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'''Carmen:''' So just because dad's done a lot for me I can't accept anything from anyone? What if Harvard wants to give me a scholarship? Does that mean I can't take it?\\

to:

'''Carmen:''' So just because dad's done a lot for me me, I can't accept anything from anyone? What if Harvard wants to give me a scholarship? Does that mean I can't take it?\\
14th Feb '16 3:12:31 AM ZeroWizard
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'''George:''' I used my wish on Carmen I swear!

to:

'''George:''' I used my wish on Carmen Carmen, I swear!



* Any time Vic appeared as a hallucinogenic worm.

to:

* Any time Vic appeared appears as a hallucinogenic worm.
25th Dec '15 6:07:18 AM CJCroen1393
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-->'''George:''' Angie, remember when I said Carmen's virginity was hanging on by a thread? ''(beat)'' '''Here's the thread!'''

to:

-->'''George:''' Angie, remember when I said Carmen's virginity was hanging on by a thread? ''(beat)'' '''Here's the thread!'''thread!'''
* When Vic was engaged to a ''much'' younger woman, we get this little piece of beauty:
-->'''Vic:''' (''to Angie'') Now princess...\\
'''Angie AND Vic's fiancee:''' [[FreudianSlip Yes daddy?]]\\
(''[[{{Squick}} Understandably]] awkward pause'')\\
'''George:''' Yeah, that's going in the wedding toast.
11th Sep '15 10:37:29 AM Kartoonkid95
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'''George:''' Good. Then you can go to "hell hell".

to:

'''George:''' Good. Then you can go to "hell hell".hell".
* From "Weekend at Benny's" when George discovers that Carmen wears a thong.
-->'''George:''' Angie, remember when I said Carmen's virginity was hanging on by a thread? ''(beat)'' '''Here's the thread!'''
20th Aug '15 7:05:39 PM CJCroen1393
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* Speaking of Benny's house burning down:
-->'''Angie:''' Why don't you blow out the candles and make [Carmen being okay] your birthday wish.\\
(''George does that'')\\
'''Vic:''' Ernie's on the phone! Your mother's house is on fire!\\
'''Angie:''' GEORGE!\\
'''George:''' I used my wish on Carmen I swear!
22nd Jul '15 4:45:44 PM dbf33
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---> '''George:''' What are you doing?
'''Benny:''' I'm taking my losing lotto scratchers, painting them over with this silver nail polish, then selling them to the neighborhood kids. I took a "lose lose" and turned it into a "win win".
'''George:''' Good. Then you can go to "hell hell".
'''Angie:''' No you can't. You'll have to raise Max, because your father and I will have ''died from shock''.

to:

---> '''Angie:''' No you can't. You'll have to raise Max, because your father and I will have ''died from shock''.
* An exchange between George and Benny.
-->
'''George:''' What are you doing?
doing? \\
'''Benny:''' I'm taking my losing lotto scratchers, painting them over with this silver nail polish, then selling them to the neighborhood kids. I took a "lose lose" and turned it into a "win win". \n \\
'''George:''' Good. Then you can go to "hell hell". \n'''Angie:''' No you can't. You'll have to raise Max, because your father and I will have ''died from shock''.
22nd Jul '15 4:40:20 PM dbf33
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---> '''George:''' What are you doing?
'''Benny:''' I'm taking my losing lotto scratchers, painting them over with this silver nail polish, then selling them to the neighborhood kids. I took a "lose lose" and turned it into a "win win".
'''George:''' Good. Then you can go to "hell hell".
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.TheGeorgeLopezShow