History Funny / TheAlloyOfLaw

30th Oct '16 4:14:27 PM GothicProphet
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-->'''Wax''': (listening to his guests approach the room) Right now, my criminal genius mind is wondering if I can stuff your corpse anywhere that wouldn't be too obvious.

to:

-->'''Wax''': (listening to his guests approach the room) Right now, my criminal genius mind is wondering if I can stuff your corpse anywhere that wouldn't be too obvious.obvious.
----
15th Oct '16 11:45:00 AM ErikModi
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* The fact that the two main characters names are a very clever pun. Wax and Wayne.

to:

* The fact that the two main characters names are a very clever pun. Wax and Wayne.Wayne.
* Wayne ambushes Wax when Wax is about to meet basically the only noble in all of Elendel who'll agree to seriously considering letting Wax marry his daughter (and thus repairing Wax's family fortune). Wayne is interrogating Wax about the Vanisher train thefts, under the guise that he suspects Wax, who protests that he himself has been robbed twice, and how would Wax expect to profit from that.
-->'''Wayne''': How am I to know how your devious, criminal genius mind works, mate?
-->'''Wax''': (listening to his guests approach the room) Right now, my criminal genius mind is wondering if I can stuff your corpse anywhere that wouldn't be too obvious.
4th Aug '16 8:17:18 AM ErikModi
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Added DiffLines:

** Not only was Wax consistently shooting guns out of his hand, but the guns were aluminum, so Wax couldn't Push them. [[ImprobableAimingSkills So he shot them instead]] when [[spoiler: Miles]] reached for them, knocking them away from him. In addition to preventing [[spoiler: Miles]] from just grabbing his gun and shooting back, Wax was damaging or causing to be lost a number of extremely valuable weapons.
15th Jun '16 1:25:11 PM MrDeath
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* Wax mentally grumbling that Steris is insane after noticing that she appears to be aroused by flying around.

to:

* Wax mentally grumbling that Steris is insane after noticing that she appears to be aroused by flying around.him flattening a building with a combination of his Allomancy and Feruchemy.
26th Apr '16 3:05:28 PM MrDeath
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Added DiffLines:

* When he first meets her and is planning to negotiate an arranged marriage, Wax finds that Steris has created a ''20-page plan'' for their courtship, marriage, children and even an allowance for his inevitable mistresses, as well as her own allowance for dalliances, after the first heir is born so there's no question of lineage. Wax protests that it doesn't leave room for romance, and Steris points out romance is covered on page 13, which details their designated conjugal encounter frequency -- three times a week, until the first child is born, then once a week. Wax is simply flabbergasted by the... thoroughness of it.
** Later on, after Wax saves her from kidnapping, she offers to amend the plan, noting that a RescueRomance is a good excuse for stepping up the timetable considerably. When he points out that he intends to continue playing the gunslinger-lawkeeper, she simply notes, "Every gentleman needs a hobby," and points out that it's better than the self-indulgences of some of the gentlemen she knows -- and because his gunslinging saved her life, she's not really in a position to complain.
26th Apr '16 2:53:42 PM MrDeath
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'''Wayne''': I bought a ward against it from a traveling fortuneteller, it lets me add two an' two and get a pickle.

to:

'''Wayne''': I bought a ward against it from a traveling fortuneteller, it lets me add two an' two and get a pickle.\\
26th Apr '16 2:53:06 PM MrDeath
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* Spook's [[JiveTurkey dialect]] has become High Imperial, the local equivalent of Latin.

to:

* Spook's [[JiveTurkey dialect]] has become The main characters find a message and say it's written in High Imperial, Imperial. Marasi mentions that she studied some of it in college and attempts a translation by reading it aloud... revealing that "High Imperial" is the local equivalent of Latin.ridiculous Eastern Street Slang that made Spook nearly incomprehensible throughout the original ''Mistborn''.



** '''Wax''': Logic doesn't work on Wayne.
---> '''Wayne''': I bought a ward against it from a traveling fortuneteller, it lets me add two an' two and get a pickle.\\

to:

** '''Wax''': -->'''Wax''': Logic doesn't work on Wayne.
--->
Wayne.\\
'''Wayne''': I bought a ward against it from a traveling fortuneteller, it lets me add two an' two and get a pickle.\\



'''Wayne''': Technically, that ''is'' a response.
** '''Wayne''': Now, if you were studying buffoonery and idiotic behavior, ''that'' is something we're experts on.
** '''Waxillium''': Two tripwires, rigged with explosives. Nothing else dangerous that we could find. Other than Wayne's body odor.
--->'''Wayne''': That's the smell of ''incredibleness!''
** '''Marasi''': Wayne?
--->'''Voice from the darkness''': He is dead, young lady. I am sorry for your loss.\\

to:

'''Wayne''': Technically, that ''is'' a response.
**
response.\\
...\\
'''Wayne''': Now, if you were studying buffoonery and idiotic behavior, ''that'' is something we're experts on.
**
on.\\
...\\
'''Waxillium''': Two tripwires, rigged with explosives. Nothing else dangerous that we could find. Other than Wayne's body odor.
--->'''Wayne''':
odor.\\
'''Wayne''':
That's the smell of ''incredibleness!''
**
''incredibleness!''\\
...\\
'''Marasi''': Wayne?
--->'''Voice
Wayne?\\
'''Voice
from the darkness''': He is dead, young lady. I am sorry for your loss.\\
26th Apr '16 10:37:06 AM MrDeath
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** And while Wayne protests that this is a little harsh, he can't argue that it isn't ''true''.



* The fact that the two main characters names are a very clever pun. Wax and Wayne.

to:

* The fact that the two main characters names are a very clever pun. Wax and Wayne.
22nd Nov '15 3:56:19 PM Landis
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** '''Waxillium''': Two tripwires, rigged with explosives. Nothing else dangerous that we could find. Other that Wayne's body odor.

to:

** '''Waxillium''': Two tripwires, rigged with explosives. Nothing else dangerous that we could find. Other that than Wayne's body odor.
23rd Aug '15 12:30:08 PM Discar
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[[redirect:Funny/WaxAndWayne]]

to:

[[redirect:Funny/WaxAndWayne]]* Spook's [[JiveTurkey dialect]] has become High Imperial, the local equivalent of Latin.
* We have this gem of a conversation when Steris is insisting Wax make smalltalk.
--> '''Wax''': I once shot the tail off a dog by mistake. It's kind of a funny story.\\
''' Steris''': Shooting dogs is hardly appropriate dinner conversation.\\
'''Wax''': I know. Particularly since I was [[GroinAttack aiming for its balls]].
* [[spoiler: Miles]], after getting his [[BlastingItOutOfTheirHands gun shot out of his hand]] for the fourth time: "Stop ''doing'' that! [[CurseCutShort You bast--]]"
** Especially since the curse is cut short by his being shot in the face.
* Just about anything Wayne says
** '''Wax''': Logic doesn't work on Wayne.
---> '''Wayne''': I bought a ward against it from a traveling fortuneteller, it lets me add two an' two and get a pickle.\\
'''Marasi''': I... have no response to that.\\
'''Wayne''': Technically, that ''is'' a response.
** '''Wayne''': Now, if you were studying buffoonery and idiotic behavior, ''that'' is something we're experts on.
** '''Waxillium''': Two tripwires, rigged with explosives. Nothing else dangerous that we could find. Other that Wayne's body odor.
--->'''Wayne''': That's the smell of ''incredibleness!''
** '''Marasi''': Wayne?
--->'''Voice from the darkness''': He is dead, young lady. I am sorry for your loss.\\
'''Marasi''': ''[gasp of horror]''\\
'''Voice from the darkness''': Yes, he was simply too handsome, too clever, and too immensely remarkable in all aspects of his existence to allow to live. It took a hundred men to bring him down, and he killed all but one. His last words were "Tell Wax...that he's a total git...and he still owes me five notes.\\
'''Marasi''': ''Wayne!''
* The fact that aluminum's AntiMagic properties mean that wearing a foil hat to prevent mind control ''actually works''.
* This conversation after Wax gets injured.
--> '''Wayne''': I got quite near my entire rusted back blown off earlier, if you'll kindly remember and I didn't hear nearly an ounce of the sympathy you're showin' him.\\
'''Marasi''': That's different.\\
'''Wayne''': What? Why? [[LampshadeHanging Cuz' I can]] [[GoodThingYouCanHeal heal]]?\\
'''Marasi''': No, because even after knowing you only a short time, I'm fairly certain that on one level or another you deserve to get blown up every now and again.
* After yet another attempt by Wax to get Marasi to stay behind, somewhere safe:
--> '''Wax''': You're going home. That is that.\\
'''Marasi''': I'm staying. That is that.\\
'''Wayne''': I need to get something to eat. Fat is fat.
* Wayne and Waxillium in a [[TimeStandsStill Slider bubble]], arguing about how they're going to escape the explosion frozen in time about 10 feet away. While Marasi keeps chanting ''"It's getting bigger...Guys, it's coming closer..."''.
* Wax mentally grumbling that Steris is insane after noticing that she appears to be aroused by flying around.
* The fact that the two main characters names are a very clever pun. Wax and Wayne.
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.TheAlloyOfLaw