History Funny / StartrekDeepspaceNine

24th Sep '17 11:51:33 PM Unicorndance
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* Nog stating that Odo "always gets angry when [he, Nog, gets] caught".
* Quark complains that Skrreean children don't learn manners...and then Nog hisses.
* Before the Universal Translator translated their language, a Skrreean woman pointed at a dress and said something. Kira buys the woman the dress, thinking she meant she liked it but really she meant she ''didn't'' like it. The best part is that Kira didn't like it either and both women start giggling and going on about how revolting they think the dress is.




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* Natima Lang acts like she doesn't like Quark very much. Odo snarkily asks Quark if she "dislikes" him or "hates" him, to which Quark states that it's none of his (Odo's) business.



* ''The Trouble With Tribbles'' made Kirk the [[ButtMonkey butt]] of most of the jokes. ''Trials and Tribble-ations'', while being respectful, piled on just a little bit more.

to:

* ''The Trouble With Tribbles'' made Kirk the [[ButtMonkey butt]] bum]] of most of the jokes. ''Trials and Tribble-ations'', while being respectful, piled on just a little bit more.



** Garak pleading with Worf to consider sponsoring his entrance into Starfleet. Worf can't believe it, but Garak's impassioned speech about his need for redemption wins Worf over enough for him to promise to consider it... then Garak suggests his experience should mean he can fast track into commander rank, where he can become Worf's superior officer, and Worf realizes he's been the butt of an elaborate joke.

to:

** Garak pleading with Worf to consider sponsoring his entrance into Starfleet. Worf can't believe it, but Garak's impassioned speech about his need for redemption wins Worf over enough for him to promise to consider it... then Garak suggests his experience should mean he can fast track into commander rank, where he can become Worf's superior officer, and Worf realizes he's been the butt bum of an elaborate joke.



** Just before they are captured by the Jem'Hadar, Garak politely asks them "Could one of you point us in the direction of the wormhole?" before [[TalkToTheFist getting smacked with the butt of a disruptor rifle]].

to:

** Just before they are captured by the Jem'Hadar, Garak politely asks them "Could one of you point us in the direction of the wormhole?" before [[TalkToTheFist getting smacked with the butt bum of a disruptor rifle]].



** Later in the same episode, as Weyoun frets about Ezri and Worf's escape and having to inform his Founder of this, Damar (who's feeling even less sympathy for him than for [[AssholeVictim his predecessor]]) cheerfully remarks "I'm sure she'll understand... but [[YouHaveFailedMe if she doesn't]], I look forward to meeting Weyoun 9."

to:

** Later in the same episode, as Weyoun frets about Ezri and Worf's escape and having to inform his Founder of this, Damar (who's feeling even less sympathy for him than for [[AssholeVictim [[bumVictim his predecessor]]) cheerfully remarks "I'm sure she'll understand... but [[YouHaveFailedMe if she doesn't]], I look forward to meeting Weyoun 9."
24th Sep '17 2:35:26 PM Ciara25
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--> '''Q (on his bum on the floor):''' You hit me! Picard never hit me!\\

to:

--> '''Q (on his bum (flat on the floor):''' You hit me! Picard never hit me!\\



* Dukat getting a cactus spine in his bum and Kira having to pull it out.

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* Dukat getting a cactus spine in his bum behind and Kira having to pull it out.



* ''The Trouble With Tribbles'' made Kirk the [[ButtMonkey bum]] of most of the jokes. ''Trials and Tribble-ations'', while being respectful, piled on just a little bit more.

to:

* ''The Trouble With Tribbles'' made Kirk the [[ButtMonkey bum]] butt]] of most of the jokes. ''Trials and Tribble-ations'', while being respectful, piled on just a little bit more.



** Garak pleading with Worf to consider sponsoring his entrance into Starfleet. Worf can't believe it, but Garak's impassioned speech about his need for redemption wins Worf over enough for him to promise to consider it... then Garak suggests his experience should mean he can fast track into commander rank, where he can become Worf's superior officer, and Worf realizes he's been the bum of an elaborate joke.

to:

** Garak pleading with Worf to consider sponsoring his entrance into Starfleet. Worf can't believe it, but Garak's impassioned speech about his need for redemption wins Worf over enough for him to promise to consider it... then Garak suggests his experience should mean he can fast track into commander rank, where he can become Worf's superior officer, and Worf realizes he's been the bum butt of an elaborate joke.



** Just before they are captured by the Jem'Hadar, Garak politely asks them "Could one of you point us in the direction of the wormhole?" before [[TalkToTheFist getting smacked with the bum of a disruptor rifle]].

to:

** Just before they are captured by the Jem'Hadar, Garak politely asks them "Could one of you point us in the direction of the wormhole?" before [[TalkToTheFist getting smacked with the bum butt of a disruptor rifle]].



** Later in the same episode, as Weyoun frets about Ezri and Worf's escape and having to inform his Founder of this, Damar (who's feeling even less sympathy for him than for [[bumVictim his predecessor]]) cheerfully remarks "I'm sure she'll understand... but [[YouHaveFailedMe if she doesn't]], I look forward to meeting Weyoun 9."

to:

** Later in the same episode, as Weyoun frets about Ezri and Worf's escape and having to inform his Founder of this, Damar (who's feeling even less sympathy for him than for [[bumVictim [[AssholeVictim his predecessor]]) cheerfully remarks "I'm sure she'll understand... but [[YouHaveFailedMe if she doesn't]], I look forward to meeting Weyoun 9."
24th Sep '17 11:39:37 AM Unicorndance
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--> '''Q (on his ass on the floor):''' You hit me! Picard never hit me!\\

to:

--> '''Q (on his ass bum on the floor):''' You hit me! Picard never hit me!\\



* Quark bitches to Odo about the Skrreeans, namely the way they smell and the way their skin flakes. Odo responds by [[DeadpanSnarker being Odo.]]

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* Quark bitches ladyes to Odo about the Skrreeans, namely the way they smell and the way their skin flakes. Odo responds by [[DeadpanSnarker being Odo.]]




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* The little girl meeting Odo.
-->'''Odo''': "I can change my shape."
-->'''Girl''': "You mean you're a changeling?"
-->'''Odo''': "Yes."
-->'''Girl''': "But there's no such thing as changelings. They're make-believe. Everybody knows that."
-->'''Odo''': "I'm not make-believe."



* Dukat getting a cactus spine in his ass and Kira having to pull it out.

to:

* Dukat getting a cactus spine in his ass bum and Kira having to pull it out.



* ''The Trouble With Tribbles'' made Kirk the [[ButtMonkey butt]] of most of the jokes. ''Trials and Tribble-ations'', while being respectful, piled on just a little bit more.

to:

* ''The Trouble With Tribbles'' made Kirk the [[ButtMonkey butt]] bum]] of most of the jokes. ''Trials and Tribble-ations'', while being respectful, piled on just a little bit more.



* The entire segment where Odo, O'Brien, and Bashir see the Klingons from that era, much to their disbelief, and an embarrassed Worf confirming that they are Klingons. When the others ask for an explanation of why they look so different, he merely replies with a prickly "We do not discuss the matter with outsiders."

to:

* The entire segment where Odo, O'Brien, and Bashir see the Klingons from that era, much to their disbelief, and an embarrassed Worf confirming that they are Klingons. When the others ask for an explanation of why they look so different, he merely replies with a prickly reproductive body partly "We do not discuss the matter with outsiders."



** Garak pleading with Worf to consider sponsoring his entrance into Starfleet. Worf can't believe it, but Garak's impassioned speech about his need for redemption wins Worf over enough for him to promise to consider it... then Garak suggests his experience should mean he can fast track into commander rank, where he can become Worf's superior officer, and Worf realizes he's been the butt of an elaborate joke.

to:

** Garak pleading with Worf to consider sponsoring his entrance into Starfleet. Worf can't believe it, but Garak's impassioned speech about his need for redemption wins Worf over enough for him to promise to consider it... then Garak suggests his experience should mean he can fast track into commander rank, where he can become Worf's superior officer, and Worf realizes he's been the butt bum of an elaborate joke.



** Just before they are captured by the Jem'Hadar, Garak politely asks them "Could one of you point us in the direction of the wormhole?" before [[TalkToTheFist getting smacked with the butt of a disruptor rifle]].

to:

** Just before they are captured by the Jem'Hadar, Garak politely asks them "Could one of you point us in the direction of the wormhole?" before [[TalkToTheFist getting smacked with the butt bum of a disruptor rifle]].



** This scene is funnier in part because both Sisko AND Dukat stare at Weyoun with a look of pure "what the FUCK?" followed by Dukat promptly chewing Weyoun out for it.

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** This scene is funnier in part because both Sisko AND Dukat stare at Weyoun with a look of pure "what the FUCK?" freak?" followed by Dukat promptly chewing Weyoun out for it.



** To put the above quote in context: Nog and Jake are scurrying around the station trying to get a Willie Mays rookie baseball card for captain Sisko. Weyoun is wondering what the hell is going on and abducts them to interrogate them. After their first story falls flat (that they were trying to get Sisko a baseball card), they tell this hugely over the top story about how the guy in the card is in fact a time traveler. Weyoun says that he believes them. Nog, in utter disbelief, asks "You do?" (Weyoun believes their ''first'' story and sends them on their way.)

to:

** To put the above quote in context: Nog and Jake are scurrying around the station trying to get a Willie Mays rookie baseball card for captain Sisko. Weyoun is wondering what the hell heck is going on and abducts them to interrogate them. After their first story falls flat (that they were trying to get Sisko a baseball card), they tell this hugely over the top story about how the guy in the card is in fact a time traveler. Weyoun says that he believes them. Nog, in utter disbelief, asks "You do?" (Weyoun believes their ''first'' story and sends them on their way.)



** Geiger goes missing, Nog and Jake go to deliver some material to him and can't find. After visiting Odo, and being dismissed, Jake recalls that someone for the Kai was bidding on the same thing that held the baseball card. This results in Jake and Nog going up to Kai Winn and Jake saying, "We need to talk." Quick cut to a pissed-off Sisko, in his office in Ops:

to:

** Geiger goes missing, Nog and Jake go to deliver some material to him and can't find. After visiting Odo, and being dismissed, Jake recalls that someone for the Kai was bidding on the same thing that held the baseball card. This results in Jake and Nog going up to Kai Winn and Jake saying, "We need to talk." Quick cut to a pissed-off urineed-off Sisko, in his office in Ops:



** There is something hilarious about Weyoun kneeling on the floor trying to hear Geiger's machine better, accompanied by a whole team of Jem'Hadar sweeping it with tricorders. You can just imagine the Jem'Hadar are thinking, "Damn it Omet'iklan, why'd you have to kill Weyoun 4? Weyoun 5 is so paranoid ..."

to:

** There is something hilarious about Weyoun kneeling on the floor trying to hear Geiger's machine better, accompanied by a whole team of Jem'Hadar sweeping it with tricorders. You can just imagine the Jem'Hadar are thinking, "Damn "darn it Omet'iklan, why'd you have to kill Weyoun 4? Weyoun 5 is so paranoid ..."



--> '''Quark:''' Stop poking it! ''[meekly, seeing guard look up at him suspiciously]'' I-its very delicate.\\

to:

--> '''Quark:''' Stop poking it! ''[meekly, seeing guard look up at him suspiciously]'' subrotheriously]'' I-its very delicate.\\



--> ''(Odo seizes her and gives a BigDamnKiss.)''

to:

--> ''(Odo seizes her and gives a BigDamnKiss.BigdarnKiss.)''



** Later in the same episode, as Weyoun frets about Ezri and Worf's escape and having to inform his Founder of this, Damar (who's feeling even less sympathy for him than for [[AssholeVictim his predecessor]]) cheerfully remarks "I'm sure she'll understand... but [[YouHaveFailedMe if she doesn't]], I look forward to meeting Weyoun 9."

to:

** Later in the same episode, as Weyoun frets about Ezri and Worf's escape and having to inform his Founder of this, Damar (who's feeling even less sympathy for him than for [[AssholeVictim [[bumVictim his predecessor]]) cheerfully remarks "I'm sure she'll understand... but [[YouHaveFailedMe if she doesn't]], I look forward to meeting Weyoun 9."
23rd Sep '17 9:26:17 PM Unicorndance
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to:

* The little girl who Dax and Odo meet on the planet tells them a story about someone TrickingTheShapeshifter by telling an evil changeling to turn into a loaf of bread, leading to the protagonist gobbling him up.
-->'''Odo''': "That changeling in your story wasn't very smart."
-->'''Girl''': "Could ''you'' turn into a loaf of bread?"
-->'''Odo''': "So you can gobble me up? No!"
22nd Sep '17 5:13:25 PM Unicorndance
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** Related: when Quark has Rom do a VisionQuest of sorts to see his memories, we get this.

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** Related: when Quark Odo has Rom do a VisionQuest of sorts to see his memories, we get this.
21st Sep '17 10:54:04 PM Unicorndance
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to:

* When the scientist mentions that Odo doesn't "integrate" socially, Odo replies that he integrates as much as he wants to. When the scientist asks what that means, we get this.
-->'''Odo''': ""As much as I want to" ''means'' "As much as I ''want'' to"!"
19th Sep '17 10:38:58 PM Unicorndance
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to:

* In the FlashBack, Odo meets Quark, who offers him some alcohol. We get this.
--> '''Odo''': "I don't drink."
--> '''Quark''': "A soft drink, then?"
--> '''Odo''': "I don't...drink."
* When Rom says he has to get back to "his" bar, to which Odo sternly states (about Quark) "He's not dead, Rom!"
** Related: when Quark has Rom do a VisionQuest of sorts to see his memories, we get this.
---> '''Odo''': "What do you see?"
---> '''Rom''': "I see the bar. With my name on it!"
---> '''Odo''': "We're talking about the ''past'', Rom. Not the future!"




to:

* The premise of the episode is that Sisko has a crush on a mysterious woman who keeps disappearing. He tries to report her to Odo but there's a lot he doesn't know about her.
-->'''Sisko''': "I'm looking for someone. A woman."
-->'''Odo''': "Name?"
-->'''Sisko''': "Fenna."
-->'''Odo''': "First name or last?"
-->'''Sisko''': "I don't know."
-->'''Odo''': "Species?"
-->'''Sisko''': "I don't know. Humanoid."
-->'''Odo''': "What ship did she arrive on?"
-->'''Sisko''': "I don't know."
-->'''Odo''': "Well, what can you tell me about her?"
-->'''Sisko''': "Let's see. I'd say she's about one point six meters tall. Brown skin, dark hair. And the last time I saw her, she was wearing...''(dreamily)'' she was wearing red."
-->'''Odo''': "Well, that's something anyway."
-->'''Sisko''': "Do you think you can help me?"
-->'''Odo''': "I don't know."
-->'''Sisko''': "I need to find her, Constable. I think she may be in some kind of trouble."
-->'''Odo''': "What kind of trouble? Let me guess. You don't know. Well, it's not much to go on, but I'll do what I can."
* When Jake tells a story to his father about a girl throwing up, Sisko is distracted and says "That's nice."
-->'''Jake''': "Nice?! She threw up!"
* When Jake figures out his dad has a crush and wants to meet her, Sisko says no.
-->'''Jake''': "So when do I get to meet her?"
-->'''Sisko''': "I think it might be a little early to do that."
-->'''Jake''': "Why? She likes you too, doesn't she?"
-->'''Sisko''': "I think so."
-->'''Jake''': "So then what's the problem?"
-->'''Sisko''': "Well, er, it's just that, er, she keeps...disappearing."
18th Sep '17 10:14:06 PM Unicorndance
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* When Pel is trying to hide that she's female but Quark wants to go to bed but they're forced to share a bed. At first, she says the bed's lumpy, but he says it isn't, then she tries to talk business, but he's not interested, then she ''kisses'' him.
** Which is followed by Pel apologising for kissing Quark but he just denies she kissed him.
17th Sep '17 2:33:48 PM Unicorndance
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* Nog failing to pronounce "coup d'etat" and upon hearing that it's French, calling it a "silly French thing".
16th Sep '17 10:21:22 PM KnownUnknown
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* At the end, O'Brien uses his future knowledge to troll Quark by telling him about someone winning at Davo ''just'' before it happens, and then immediately leaving the bar before Quark can get more answers out of him - smirking all the while.
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