History Funny / StarControl

7th Feb '17 2:49:45 PM ScorpiusOB1
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'''Chmmr:''' NO.

to:

'''Chmmr:''' NO.NO[[note]]NEGATIVE in the PC version[[/note]].
25th Jan '17 7:56:15 PM zequeins
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and to wish you an unpleasant afterlife.

to:

and to wish you an unpleasant afterlife.\\
\\
This is VUX Commander YAX. On behalf of the team here\\
I would like to say how very much we have all enjoyed taunting you\\
and to congratulate you on plumbing the limits of VUX courtesy\\
which you have now exhausted. Therefore, let me just say\\
Die, you two-eyed loathsome faceless slug!
25th Jan '17 1:39:12 AM zequeins
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* If you go to the enslaved Umgah homeword without the Taalo Shield, you'll be psychically compelled to fly into Ur-Quan space (The Ur-Quan will let you go if you tell them about what happened). What's so funny about this? [[TooDumbToLive You can go straight back to the Umgah Homeword, again without the Taalo Shield]] and then get sent to Ur-Quan space again. The Ur-Quan are not amused by this.

to:

* The Ur-Quan Kzer-Za has several funny moments, despite their EvilOverlord status. Contrast with their Kohr-Ah cousins, [[NoNonsenseNemesis who has little to no funny quips.]]
**
If you go to the enslaved Umgah homeword without the Taalo Shield, you'll be psychically compelled to fly into Ur-Quan space (The Ur-Quan will let you go if you tell them about what happened). What's so funny about this? [[TooDumbToLive You can go straight back to the Umgah Homeword, again without the Taalo Shield]] and then get sent to Ur-Quan space again. The Ur-Quan are not amused by this.


Added DiffLines:

--> "You boldly enter our space! Approach this Dreadnought as though it were a recreation base and then play the dumb hominid? Who do you take us for, Captain... Spathi!?"
16th Jan '17 7:43:53 PM zequeins
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* The Zoq-Fot-Pik's frantic call for help is not all that funny ("Worse than Zebranky" aside). Hayes reading "HELP! HELP!" completely deadpan, however...

to:

* The Zoq-Fot-Pik's frantic call for help is not all that funny ("Worse than Zebranky" aside). Hayes reading "HELP! HELP!" completely deadpan, however...however...
* [[JerkassDissonance Some wonder why the VUX are popular]], despite being hypocritical bigots. Might be due to their... [[HilarityEnsues unorthodox]] greetings when they're about to kill you.
-->Welcome to the end of your life, courtesy of VUX technology.\\
Our infinite supply of Intruder vessels is even now locking their vaporizers onto your position\\
and we shall end your painful, grotesque existence for you as soon as possible.\\
In the meantime, here is a little music...\\
\\
Salutations, and may your sense of self-preservation always be so dim.\\
As our Intruders surround your vessel, you may care to raise both hands into the air above you\\
and practice the ancient chant of the prancing oowee master, ZEN DUX, which begins...\\
`AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!'\\
\\
Welcome back to total annihilation, where, as they say\\
once is silatious, twice is phlagrant melons\\
but the third time is when it really hurts.\\
Please stay seated until your vessel starts smoking\\
then feel free to dash your head painfully against the floor.\\
\\
Congratulations for exhausting the VUX vocabulary of greetings to despicable life-forms.\\
May we take this opportunity to lock our femoral scrapers onto your ship\\
and to wish you an unpleasant afterlife.
10th May '16 9:10:58 PM Teakay
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'''Chmmr:''' NO.

to:

'''Chmmr:''' NO.NO.
* The Zoq-Fot-Pik's frantic call for help is not all that funny ("Worse than Zebranky" aside). Hayes reading "HELP! HELP!" completely deadpan, however...
9th May '16 4:49:55 PM Teakay
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-->'''Yehat:''' Look at that furred muzzle, those shining black eyes, the sweet claws! Our children have returned from oblivion!

to:

-->'''Yehat:''' Look at that furred muzzle, those shining black eyes, the sweet claws! Our children have returned from oblivion!oblivion!
* Discussing your battle plan with the Chmmr.
-->'''Captain:''' We'll fire this weapon at the Sa-Matra, right? It's not going to hurt my ship, is it?\\
'''Chmmr:''' YOUR VESSEL WILL BE TOTALLY ANNIHILATED.\\
'''Captain:''' Whoa. Gee, that's bad. I don't suppose there's anything we can do to change that, is there?\\
'''Chmmr:''' NO.
30th Apr '16 7:23:00 PM Teakay
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Added DiffLines:

** He also makes numerous demands for his comfort, like changing out the Mozart and Iggy Pop on loop in the hold, thermal blankets and pillows, fresh meat and vegetables, and [[BreadEggsMilkSquick crew members to play with]].
30th Apr '16 7:19:09 PM Teakay
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Added DiffLines:

** If you declare your intention to attack their scouts:
-->'''Pik:''' ''[to the Zoq]'' So what does all your nicey-nice to the alien get us? Nothing! That's what! You should have done what I said and told him we were the Precursors!
25th Apr '16 7:36:33 PM Teakay
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-->''(less than a minute later)''



** The game also allows you to impersonate their gods, and while there is a serious use for this ability, it also allows you to mess around with them, like making them rename their species the "Dill-rats" or replace the word "you" with "yuubuu". The resulting quotes are a laugh riot.

to:

** The game also allows you to impersonate their gods, and while there is a serious use for this ability, it also allows you to mess around with them, like making them rename their species the "Dill-rats" or replace the word "you" with "yuubuu". The resulting quotes are a laugh riot. It's too bad they don't stack.
22nd Apr '16 8:56:15 AM Teakay
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-->'''Captain''': But `evil' is that which is morally bad or wrong. And if your actions are judged by your society as correct, aren't you, in fact, good?

to:

-->'''Captain:''' Do you really consider yourselves Evil?
-->'''Ilwrath:''' Ha! Evil! Of Course We're Evil! Dogar And Kazon Would Never Reward A Less-Than-Hideously Evil Species With Their Baleful Grace. Why We Are The Very Definition Of Evil! Everything About Us, Within And Without, Reeks Of Heinous Deeds, Deceit And Treachery! [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Even Our House Pets Are Rather Evil]].
-->'''Captain''': But `evil' 'evil' is that which is morally bad or wrong. And if your actions are judged by your society as correct, aren't you, in fact, good?



** On occasion, when you go to speak with him, he'll also share with you some interesting tidbits about the thoughts of your crew, including which female crewmembers have a crush on you.

to:

** On occasion, when you go to speak with him, he'll also share with you some interesting tidbits about the thoughts of your crew, including which female crewmembers have a crush on you.you.
* Combined with CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming and TearJerker: The Yehat ''[[CutenessProximity gush]]'' over the young Shofixti you send them like a proud parent over a baby.
-->'''Yehat:''' Look at that furred muzzle, those shining black eyes, the sweet claws! Our children have returned from oblivion!
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