History Funny / SpartacusBloodAndSand

12th Apr '18 7:16:42 PM PurpleEmperor
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-->'''Fugitive:''' Im not dying in the pits. I'll show these fucking cunts my cock was forged in Vulcan's ''flames!'' '''''I'll [[PunctuatedForEmphasis FUCK. THEM. ALL!!]]''''' ('' SmashCut to him getting smacked in the face with a hammer, followed a another beating that ends with his face getting cut off and worn as a trophy.)''

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-->'''Fugitive:''' Im not dying in the pits. I'll show these fucking cunts my cock was forged in Vulcan's ''flames!'' '''''I'll [[PunctuatedForEmphasis FUCK. THEM. ALL!!]]''''' ('' SmashCut (''SmashCut to him getting smacked in the face with a hammer, followed a another beating that ends with his face getting cut off and worn as a trophy.)''


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** Batiatus announcing that Spartacus and Crixus would be fighting Theokeles cues ominous looks from Oenomaus and Crixus. Spartacus, having no idea who that is, just looks over at Crixus and puts on a face that just says ThisIsGonnaSuck.
** Then the scene cuts to an one armed old man being forced to "dance" on a table by the other gladiators, while Crixus exchanges a DeathGlare with Spartacus from across the room.
--> '''Varro:''' I think you two make a fine couple.
** Llithyia's excited to hear about the upcoming match, namely in the prospect of seeing blood pour from Spartacus. Cue SmashCut to Spartacus spilling BloodFromTheMouth from a strike from Oenamaus.
12th Apr '18 6:59:19 PM PurpleEmperor
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* Episode 4 "The Thing in the Pit": Spartacus starts talking to Varro and his hallucination of Sura at the same time, making the conversation very confusing for Varro.
* Episode 5: "Shadow Games": Gnaeus collapses from heat exhaustion. When Pietros brings water, Oenomaus tells him to spare it for more worthy men. Cue Pietros walking away from a fainted Gnaeus.

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* Episode 4 "The Thing in the Pit": The other slave (with "Fugitive on his head") being sent to pits alongside Spartacus belts out a ridiculously crass and hammy BadassBoast fit only this kind of show.
-->'''Fugitive:''' Im not dying in the pits. I'll show these fucking cunts my cock was forged in Vulcan's ''flames!'' '''''I'll [[PunctuatedForEmphasis FUCK. THEM. ALL!!]]''''' ('' SmashCut to him getting smacked in the face with a hammer, followed a another beating that ends with his face getting cut off and worn as a trophy.)''
**
Spartacus starts talking to Varro and his hallucination of Sura at the same time, making the conversation very confusing for Varro.
* Episode 5: "Shadow Games": Gnaeus collapses from heat exhaustion.
-->'''Oenomaus:''' Listen to my instruction, and every man chosen will victory in the arena! (''Gnaeus falls down'') ...perhaps not every man.
**
When Pietros brings water, Oenomaus tells him to spare it for more worthy men. Cue Pietros walking away from a fainted Gnaeus.
* Batiatus standing outside with arms stretch out, in his own words, praying for rain.
--> Rain, by Jupiters cock, would you fucking rain!?
12th Apr '18 8:30:23 AM PurpleEmperor
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** The exchange between Gnaeus and Crixus. Gaeus briefly laughs when he discovers they are to face off and warns "I will fuck your corpse". Crixus jovially replies "With what cock?"; both of them resume laughing.

to:

** The exchange between Gnaeus and Crixus. Gaeus Gnaeus briefly laughs when he discovers they are to face off and warns "I will fuck your corpse". Crixus jovially replies "With what cock?"; both of them resume laughing.



** Even better, Spartacus throws his sword at the guard holding his wife hostage, [[ImprobableAimingSkills hit him dead on and somehow ''not'' injure her. He seems to have forgotten Oenomaus' [[AwesomeButImpractical telling him what a bad idea that move was.]]

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** Even better, Spartacus throws his sword at the guard holding his wife hostage, [[ImprobableAimingSkills hit him dead on on]] and somehow ''not'' injure her. He seems to have forgotten Oenomaus' [[AwesomeButImpractical telling him what a bad idea that move was.]]



** And Spartacus refuses. Varro holds his head probably thinking of his friend as an idiot.

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** And Spartacus refuses. Varro holds his head down probably thinking of his friend as an idiot.
6th Apr '18 9:45:23 PM PurpleEmperor
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--> '''Batiatus:''' Not every venture ends in climax.

to:

--> '''Batiatus:''' [[AntiClimax Not every venture ends in climax.]]



* Episode 6 "Delicate Things": Spartacus visualizing his escape from the Ludus, [[GodModeSue tearing through guards with so much ease it's hilarious]].

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* Episode 6 "Delicate Things": Spartacus visualizing his escape from the Ludus, [[GodModeSue tearing through guards with so much ease it's hilarious]]. Even ''Sura'' was shown killing a guard before she gets caught leading to the aforementioned slaughter.


Added DiffLines:

** Even better, Spartacus throws his sword at the guard holding his wife hostage, [[ImprobableAimingSkills hit him dead on and somehow ''not'' injure her. He seems to have forgotten Oenomaus' [[AwesomeButImpractical telling him what a bad idea that move was.]]
** Speaking of Oenomaus, Varro throws him into the scenario where he stops Spartacus from throwing the sword and it ends with him and Sura both dying. Spartacus then takes one look at a wandering Oenomaus.
--> '''Spartacus:''' ...[[DidNotThinkThisThrough I had not considered him.]]\\
'''Varro:''' You have not considered many things. Take pause, I beg of you.
** And Spartacus refuses. Varro holds his head probably thinking of his friend as an idiot.
20th Feb '18 5:39:17 AM JamesSwann
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to:

* Over the years, Ilythia and Crixus have tried to kill Lucretia and her father-in-law tried to ''strangle her.'' They fail. Lucretia, ultimately, has to ''throw herself off a cliff'' to kill herself. The only person able to actually finish off Lucretia... is Lucretia herself, in a murder/suicide.
14th Dec '17 1:38:11 PM MikeW
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Added DiffLines:

* Spartacus is nearby a huge wooden door with a burning rope holding it up. He sees the Romans charging at him, Caesar in the lead. With a smile, Spartacus rolls under the door just as the rope burns and breaks, dropping it down to cut him off from the Romans who literally run into it.
-->'''Caesar''': Even the gods give aid to the fucking man!
16th Nov '17 10:57:28 AM RedKnight47
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** The exchange between Gnaeus and Crixus. Gaeus briefly laughs when he discovers they are to face of and warns "I will fuck your corpse". Crixus jovially replies "With what cock?"; both of them resume laughing.

to:

** The exchange between Gnaeus and Crixus. Gaeus briefly laughs when he discovers they are to face of off and warns "I will fuck your corpse". Crixus jovially replies "With what cock?"; both of them resume laughing.



* Episode 5: "Shadow Games": Gnaeus collapses from heat exhaustion. When Pietros brings water, Oenomaus tells him to spare it for more worthy men. Que Pietros walking away from a fainted Gnaeus.

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* Episode 5: "Shadow Games": Gnaeus collapses from heat exhaustion. When Pietros brings water, Oenomaus tells him to spare it for more worthy men. Que Cue Pietros walking away from a fainted Gnaeus.
4th Jun '16 8:16:40 AM ErikModi
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* The exchange between Gnaeus and Crixus. Gaeus briefly laughs when he discovers they are to face of and warns "I will fuck your corpse". Crixus jovially replies "With what cock?"; both of them resume laughing.

to:

* ** The exchange between Gnaeus and Crixus. Gaeus briefly laughs when he discovers they are to face of and warns "I will fuck your corpse". Crixus jovially replies "With what cock?"; both of them resume laughing.



* One of the new recruits declares that he will train hard, until he becomes as great as Spartacus himself. GilliganCut to the recruit [[EpicFail getting knocked onto a peg in the wall and dying instantly]].

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* ** One of the new recruits declares that he will train hard, until he becomes as great as Spartacus himself. GilliganCut to the recruit [[EpicFail getting knocked onto a peg in the wall and dying instantly]].



* An example of Spartacus' DeadpanSnarker moments:

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* ** An example of Spartacus' DeadpanSnarker moments:
4th Jun '16 8:15:59 AM ErikModi
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Added DiffLines:

** After Spartacus dismisses the symbol of Missio (mercy), and Varro attempts to smooth things over with Doctore, both are sent "to the pit" for punishment. GilliganCut to them in basically a garbage well, soaked up to their waists in filth, and someone dumping some more refuse in. Varro glares at Spartacus, Spartacus looks back a little sheepishly and says "Perhaps I spoke out of turn."
17th Apr '16 11:10:16 AM Will
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Added DiffLines:

** During the battle at the end of the episode.
-->'''Roman officer:''' "Praetor! The rebels are in retreat!"\\
*Spartacus and Gannicus ''immediately'' appear out of nowhere and slaughter everybody (except the Praetor, who they take captive)*
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