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Capitalization was fixed from Funny.Soap Dish to Funny.Soapdish. Null edit to update page.
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Changed line(s) 54 (click to see context) from:
'''Jeffrey:''' ''(nods)'' Brain fever. Or, what we call in Austria... ''(he stares at the teleprompter in disbelief; Celeste looks at the teleprompter and gets a similar look on her face)'' ...''kopfgeschlagen.'' ''(looks quietly pleased with himself)'' At the current rate of inflation, her brain will laterally explore the-\\
to:
'''Jeffrey:''' ''(nods)'' Brain fever. Or, what we call in Austria... ''(he stares at the teleprompter in disbelief; Celeste looks at the teleprompter and gets a similar look on her face)'' ...''kopfgeschlagen.'' ''[[note]][[TapOnTheHead a knock on the head]][[/note]] ''(looks quietly pleased with himself)'' At the current rate of inflation, her brain will laterally explore the-\\
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actually plays out a bit differently than I remembered
Changed line(s) 67,70 (click to see context) from:
* Then, Lori breaking character to urge Celeste not to leave the show [[note]]Her character has been mute[[/note]]:
-->'''Montana:''' Wait a minute, you're mute!\\
'''Lori:''' [[HandWave I've been faking it.]]
-->'''Montana:''' Wait a minute, you're mute!\\
'''Lori:''' [[HandWave I've been faking it.]]
to:
* Then, Lori breaking character to urge Celeste not to leave the show [[note]]Her character has been mute[[/note]]:
mute up to this point[[/note]]; she and Montana get into a brief HandWave war:
-->'''Montana:'''Wait a minute, you're mute!\\
Sudden onset speech, the final stages of brain fever! She could go at any moment!\\
'''Lori:'''[[HandWave I've been faking it.]]
I could always talk.
* Really, that whole last scene, what with everyone going completely [[OffTheRails off script]] in an attempt to engineer, each one, the outcome s/he desires, and the others [[OutGambitted trying to keep up with all the sudden changes]].
-->'''Montana:'''
'''Lori:'''
* Really, that whole last scene, what with everyone going completely [[OffTheRails off script]] in an attempt to engineer, each one, the outcome s/he desires, and the others [[OutGambitted trying to keep up with all the sudden changes]].
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pot hole fix
Changed line(s) 69,70 (click to see context) from:
'''Lori:''' [[HaveWave I've been faking it.]]
to:
'''Lori:''' [[HaveWave [[HandWave I've been faking it.]]
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Added DiffLines:
* Then, Lori breaking character to urge Celeste not to leave the show [[note]]Her character has been mute[[/note]]:
-->'''Montana:''' Wait a minute, you're mute!\\
'''Lori:''' [[HaveWave I've been faking it.]]
-->'''Montana:''' Wait a minute, you're mute!\\
'''Lori:''' [[HaveWave I've been faking it.]]
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Added DiffLines:
-->'''Rose:''' ''(watching in disbelief)'' A ''Nurse's'' Oath?!
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Changed line(s) 34 (click to see context) from:
* Jeffrey and Celeste's kissing scene which he can't get right until she kicks him in the nuts.
to:
* Jeffrey and Celeste's kissing scene which he can't get right until [[GroinAttack she kicks him in the nuts.nuts]]. The joke is that while she's getting more and more turned on, he's acting like he feels nothing for her.
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* The scene of Jeffrey's disastrous DinnerTheatre performance of ''Theatre/DeathOfASalesman''. It's a wonder he's even able to get through the play each night.
-->''[exterior shot of the dinner theatre marquee, which now reads "JEFF Y NDERSON IS WILLY LOMAN IN ''DEATH OF A SALESMAN''"; inside, Jeffrey and two younger actors playing Biff and Happy Loman are performing the play's first flashback scene]''\\
'''Actor Playing Biff:''' Where'd you go this time, Pop?\\
'''Jeffrey:''' ''[as Willy]'' Well, I went on the road and went north to Providence. Met the mayor!\\
'''Actor Playing Biff:''' The mayor of Providence?\\
'''Hard of Hearing Man:''' ''[loudly, to his wife]'' What'd he say?\\
'''Hard of Hearing Man's Wife:''' The mayor.\\
'''Hard of Hearing Man:''' Who?\\
'''Hard of Hearing Man's Wife:''' The mayor of Providence!\\
'''Hard of Hearing Man:''' WHO?\\
'''Actor Playing Biff:''' ''[raising his voice]'' You said the mayor of Providence, Pop?\\
'''Jeffrey:''' ''[yelling]'' YEAH! THE MAYOR OF PROVIDENCE! ''[walks to the front of the stage and yells toward the hard of hearing man]'' RHODE ISLAND!\\
'''Female Patron:''' ''[accidentally upends her cup of coffee]'' Oh! ''[loudly]'' Waiter! Waiter! ''[she begins clinking her fork against her glass as David watches the play thoughtfully]''\\
'''Jeffrey:''' He was sitting in the hotel lobby!\\
'''Female Patron:''' Waiter! Waiter! ''[she continues clanking her fork against her glass as the waiters ignore her]''\\
'''Actor Playing Biff:''' What'd he say?\\
'''Jeffrey:''' ''[marches toward the female patron's table while trying not to break character]'' He said, "Morning!" I said, "You got a fine city here, mayor!" ''[he wipes up the spilled coffee]'' And then-\\
'''Female Patron:''' You're doing so well up there!\\
'''Jeffrey:''' ''[clearly not encouraged by the compliment]'' And then, I had a cup of coffee with him- ''[two busboys bump into each other, dropping their trays with a loud crash; they begin arguing]'' I WENT TO BOSTON! ''[puts his arms around the actors playing Biff and Happy, who look almost as put upon as Jeffrey]'' FINE CITY, BOSTON! GOT A COUPLE OF OTHER TOWNS IN MASS, PORTLAND, BANGOR, AND '''STRAIGHT HOOOME!!''' ''[by this point, he almost has Biff and Happy in a headlock]''\\
'''Hard of Hearing Man:''' What is he yelling?
-->''[exterior shot of the dinner theatre marquee, which now reads "JEFF Y NDERSON IS WILLY LOMAN IN ''DEATH OF A SALESMAN''"; inside, Jeffrey and two younger actors playing Biff and Happy Loman are performing the play's first flashback scene]''\\
'''Actor Playing Biff:''' Where'd you go this time, Pop?\\
'''Jeffrey:''' ''[as Willy]'' Well, I went on the road and went north to Providence. Met the mayor!\\
'''Actor Playing Biff:''' The mayor of Providence?\\
'''Hard of Hearing Man:''' ''[loudly, to his wife]'' What'd he say?\\
'''Hard of Hearing Man's Wife:''' The mayor.\\
'''Hard of Hearing Man:''' Who?\\
'''Hard of Hearing Man's Wife:''' The mayor of Providence!\\
'''Hard of Hearing Man:''' WHO?\\
'''Actor Playing Biff:''' ''[raising his voice]'' You said the mayor of Providence, Pop?\\
'''Jeffrey:''' ''[yelling]'' YEAH! THE MAYOR OF PROVIDENCE! ''[walks to the front of the stage and yells toward the hard of hearing man]'' RHODE ISLAND!\\
'''Female Patron:''' ''[accidentally upends her cup of coffee]'' Oh! ''[loudly]'' Waiter! Waiter! ''[she begins clinking her fork against her glass as David watches the play thoughtfully]''\\
'''Jeffrey:''' He was sitting in the hotel lobby!\\
'''Female Patron:''' Waiter! Waiter! ''[she continues clanking her fork against her glass as the waiters ignore her]''\\
'''Actor Playing Biff:''' What'd he say?\\
'''Jeffrey:''' ''[marches toward the female patron's table while trying not to break character]'' He said, "Morning!" I said, "You got a fine city here, mayor!" ''[he wipes up the spilled coffee]'' And then-\\
'''Female Patron:''' You're doing so well up there!\\
'''Jeffrey:''' ''[clearly not encouraged by the compliment]'' And then, I had a cup of coffee with him- ''[two busboys bump into each other, dropping their trays with a loud crash; they begin arguing]'' I WENT TO BOSTON! ''[puts his arms around the actors playing Biff and Happy, who look almost as put upon as Jeffrey]'' FINE CITY, BOSTON! GOT A COUPLE OF OTHER TOWNS IN MASS, PORTLAND, BANGOR, AND '''STRAIGHT HOOOME!!''' ''[by this point, he almost has Biff and Happy in a headlock]''\\
'''Hard of Hearing Man:''' What is he yelling?
* Jeffrey and Celeste's kissing scene which he can't get right until she kicks him in the nuts.
Deleted line(s) 42 (click to see context) :
* Jeffrey and Celeste's kissing scene which he can't get right until she kicks him in the nuts.
Changed line(s) 44 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Edmund:''' ''(watching the LiveEpisode slide into hasty improvisation in his office)'' There's a nurse at the restaurant... did I miss a meeting!?
to:
-->'''Edmund:''' ''(watching in his office as the LiveEpisode slide slides into hasty improvisation in his office)'' improvisation)'' There's a nurse at the restaurant... did I miss a meeting!?
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Added DiffLines:
* Rose asking, "Why can't I write shit like this?" when Celeste has her big breakdown and confesses her dark secret to Jeffrey and Lori.
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Changed line(s) 1,3 (click to see context) from:
* Many exchanges between David and Montana, like this one:
-->'''David:''' Why aren't we having sex yet?
-->'''Montana:''' You know the rules. Get rid of her, Mr. Fuzzy is yours.[[note]] The fact that her UnusualEuphemism of choice is ''Mr.'' Fuzzy is a clue to her true identity.[[/note]]
-->'''David:''' Why aren't we having sex yet?
-->'''Montana:''' You know the rules. Get rid of her, Mr. Fuzzy is yours.[[note]] The fact that her UnusualEuphemism of choice is ''Mr.'' Fuzzy is a clue to her true identity.[[/note]]
to:
* Many exchanges between David and Montana, like this Montana.
** This one:
-->'''David:''' --->'''David:''' Why aren't we having sex yet?
-->'''Montana:'''yet?\\
'''Montana:''' You know the rules. Get rid of her, Mr. Fuzzy is yours.[[note]] The fact that her UnusualEuphemism of choice is ''Mr.'' Fuzzy is a clue to her true identity.[[/note]]
** This one:
-->'''Montana:'''
'''Montana:''' You know the rules. Get rid of her, Mr. Fuzzy is yours.[[note]] The fact that her UnusualEuphemism of choice is ''Mr.'' Fuzzy is a clue to her true identity.[[/note]]
Changed line(s) 5,7 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Montana:''' YOU - promised me you would get rid of Celeste. '''WE WERE BOTH NAKED AND YOU PROMISED! NAKED!'''
-->'''David:''' Hey! We were never naked.
-->'''Montana:''' Well, we ''could'' have been!
-->'''David:''' Hey! We were never naked.
-->'''Montana:''' Well, we ''could'' have been!
to:
-->'''David:'''
'''David:''' Hey! We were never
-->'''Montana:'''
'''Montana:''' Well, we ''could'' have been!
Changed line(s) 9,10 (click to see context) from:
--->'''David:''' Find Jeffrey Anderson... ''({{beat}})'' Can I touch your breasts?
--->'''Montana:''' '''FIND HIM!'''
--->'''Montana:''' '''FIND HIM!'''
to:
--->'''David:''' Find Jeffrey Anderson... ''({{beat}})'' Can I touch your breasts?
--->'''Montana:'''breasts?\\
'''Montana:''' '''FIND HIM!'''
--->'''Montana:'''
'''Montana:''' '''FIND HIM!'''
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Changed line(s) 3 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Montana:''' You know the rules. Get rid of her, Mr. Fuzzy is yours.
to:
-->'''Montana:''' You know the rules. Get rid of her, Mr. Fuzzy is yours.[[note]] The fact that her UnusualEuphemism of choice is ''Mr.'' Fuzzy is a clue to her true identity.[[/note]]
Changed line(s) 13 (click to see context) from:
* The LiveEpisode quickly derails because Jeffrey [[BlindWithoutEm refuses to wear his glasses on camera.]]
to:
* The LiveEpisode quickly derails because Jeffrey [[BlindWithoutEm refuses to wear his glasses on camera.]]]] The fact that he is standing directly under a tasselled lantern and has to keep pushing the tassels off his forehead is icing on the cake.
Changed line(s) 42,44 (click to see context) from:
-->''"There's a nurse at the restaurant"''.
* ''"I also took an oath. The Nurse's Oath!"''
* ''"I also took an oath. The Nurse's Oath!"''
to:
*
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Changed line(s) 43 (click to see context) from:
to:
*''"I also took an oath. The Nurse's Oath!"''
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Changed line(s) 39 (click to see context) from:
'''Jeffrey:''' Yes, I've, uh... ''(looks over his fingers at teleprompter)'' I've seen it happen. It's a dreadful... it's a dreadful, dreadful thug... thing.
to:
'''Jeffrey:''' Yes, I've, uh... ''(looks over his fingers at teleprompter)'' I've seen it happen. It's a dreadful... it's a dreadful, dreadful thug... thing.thing.
*Jeffrey and Celeste's kissing scene which he can't get right until she kicks him in the nuts.
*The climax of the plot.
-->''"There's a nurse at the restaurant"''.
----
*Jeffrey and Celeste's kissing scene which he can't get right until she kicks him in the nuts.
*The climax of the plot.
-->''"There's a nurse at the restaurant"''.
----
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Changed line(s) 36 (click to see context) from:
'''Celeste:''' "The Restaurant".\\
to:
'''Celeste:''' "The Restaurant".restaurant".\\
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Changed line(s) 12 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Jeffrey:''' ''(practically giggling)'' Of course I'm an egomaniac! I have America's Sweetheart '''CLIMBING UP MY DRAINPIPE!'''
to:
-->'''Jeffrey:''' ''(practically giggling)'' Of course I'm an egomaniac! I have America's Sweetheart '''CLIMBING UP MY DRAINPIPE!'''DRAINPIPE!'''
* The LiveEpisode quickly derails because Jeffrey [[BlindWithoutEm refuses to wear his glasses on camera.]]
-->'''Jeffrey:''' ''(preparing for his entrance)'' Here, hold those, I can't wear them. ''(hands his glasses to Tawny)''\\
'''Tawny:''' ''(tries to hand them back)'' I think you need them...\\
'''Jeffrey:''' ''(loud whisper)'' NO! They're ugly!\\
'''Tawny:''' But your eyes-\\
'''Technician:''' You're on! ''(hands Jeffrey an envelope)'' Go! Go, go! ''(Jeffrey leaves)''\\
'''Tawny:''' ''(tries on Jeffrey's glasses and blinks incredulously)'' Oh my god, this guy's blind as a bat!...\\
''(on set, Jeffrey makes his entrance)''\\
'''Celeste:''' ''(as Maggie, reading teleprompter)'' Dr. Randall, what a surprise. Are you having lunch here?\\
'''Jeffrey:''' ''(as Dr. Randall, reading teleprompter)'' I will if it's that sample. ''(Burton, the director, looks confused)'' Heh... ''(peers at teleprompter)'' I wish it was that simple.\\
'''Edmund:''' ''(watching in his office)'' This guy never heard of contact lenses?\\
'''Jeffrey:''' The test results have come back.\\
'''Celeste:''' And?\\
'''Jeffrey:''' And I'm afraid the results are very disturbing. ''(reading teleprompter)'' It seems that... Angelique has a... rare case... of brake fluid. ''(squints)'' Bran fluid. Bran flavor.\\
'''Burton:''' ''(whispers)'' Brain fever.\\
'''David:''' ''(watching in Edmund's office)'' Brain fever.\\
'''Edmund:''' ''SAY IT!''\\
'''Celeste:''' ''(hisses)'' Brain fever!\\
'''Jeffrey:''' ''(nods)'' Brain fever. Or, what we call in Austria... ''(he stares at the teleprompter in disbelief; Celeste looks at the teleprompter and gets a similar look on her face)'' ...''kopfgeschlagen.'' ''(looks quietly pleased with himself)'' At the current rate of inflation, her brain will laterally explore the-\\
'''Celeste:''' "Literally explode".\\
'''Jeffrey:''' Exactly, within the next three houses-\\
'''Celeste:''' "Hours".\\
'''Jeffrey:''' Yes, will literally explode within the next three hours. I would suggest leaving the restraint.\\
'''Celeste:''' "The Restaurant".\\
'''Jeffrey:''' Restaurant, yes.\\
'''Celeste:''' Her brain will actually explode?\\
'''Jeffrey:''' Yes, I've, uh... ''(looks over his fingers at teleprompter)'' I've seen it happen. It's a dreadful... it's a dreadful, dreadful thug... thing.
* The LiveEpisode quickly derails because Jeffrey [[BlindWithoutEm refuses to wear his glasses on camera.]]
-->'''Jeffrey:''' ''(preparing for his entrance)'' Here, hold those, I can't wear them. ''(hands his glasses to Tawny)''\\
'''Tawny:''' ''(tries to hand them back)'' I think you need them...\\
'''Jeffrey:''' ''(loud whisper)'' NO! They're ugly!\\
'''Tawny:''' But your eyes-\\
'''Technician:''' You're on! ''(hands Jeffrey an envelope)'' Go! Go, go! ''(Jeffrey leaves)''\\
'''Tawny:''' ''(tries on Jeffrey's glasses and blinks incredulously)'' Oh my god, this guy's blind as a bat!...\\
''(on set, Jeffrey makes his entrance)''\\
'''Celeste:''' ''(as Maggie, reading teleprompter)'' Dr. Randall, what a surprise. Are you having lunch here?\\
'''Jeffrey:''' ''(as Dr. Randall, reading teleprompter)'' I will if it's that sample. ''(Burton, the director, looks confused)'' Heh... ''(peers at teleprompter)'' I wish it was that simple.\\
'''Edmund:''' ''(watching in his office)'' This guy never heard of contact lenses?\\
'''Jeffrey:''' The test results have come back.\\
'''Celeste:''' And?\\
'''Jeffrey:''' And I'm afraid the results are very disturbing. ''(reading teleprompter)'' It seems that... Angelique has a... rare case... of brake fluid. ''(squints)'' Bran fluid. Bran flavor.\\
'''Burton:''' ''(whispers)'' Brain fever.\\
'''David:''' ''(watching in Edmund's office)'' Brain fever.\\
'''Edmund:''' ''SAY IT!''\\
'''Celeste:''' ''(hisses)'' Brain fever!\\
'''Jeffrey:''' ''(nods)'' Brain fever. Or, what we call in Austria... ''(he stares at the teleprompter in disbelief; Celeste looks at the teleprompter and gets a similar look on her face)'' ...''kopfgeschlagen.'' ''(looks quietly pleased with himself)'' At the current rate of inflation, her brain will laterally explore the-\\
'''Celeste:''' "Literally explode".\\
'''Jeffrey:''' Exactly, within the next three houses-\\
'''Celeste:''' "Hours".\\
'''Jeffrey:''' Yes, will literally explode within the next three hours. I would suggest leaving the restraint.\\
'''Celeste:''' "The Restaurant".\\
'''Jeffrey:''' Restaurant, yes.\\
'''Celeste:''' Her brain will actually explode?\\
'''Jeffrey:''' Yes, I've, uh... ''(looks over his fingers at teleprompter)'' I've seen it happen. It's a dreadful... it's a dreadful, dreadful thug... thing.
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Changed line(s) 11 (click to see context) from:
* Celeste accuses Jeffrey of being an egomaniac because he thinks she's jealous of Laurie dating him.
to:
* Celeste accuses Jeffrey of being an egomaniac because he thinks she's jealous of Laurie Lori dating him.
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Added DiffLines:
-->'''David:''' Why aren't we having sex yet?
-->'''Montana:''' You know the rules. Get rid of her, Mr. Fuzzy is yours.
** This exchange:
-->'''Montana:''' You know the rules. Get rid of her, Mr. Fuzzy is yours.
** This exchange:
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Changed line(s) 7 (click to see context) from:
--->'''Montana:''' '''FIND HIM!'''
to:
--->'''Montana:''' '''FIND HIM!'''HIM!'''
* Celeste accuses Jeffrey of being an egomaniac because he thinks she's jealous of Laurie dating him.
-->'''Jeffrey:''' ''(practically giggling)'' Of course I'm an egomaniac! I have America's Sweetheart '''CLIMBING UP MY DRAINPIPE!'''
* Celeste accuses Jeffrey of being an egomaniac because he thinks she's jealous of Laurie dating him.
-->'''Jeffrey:''' ''(practically giggling)'' Of course I'm an egomaniac! I have America's Sweetheart '''CLIMBING UP MY DRAINPIPE!'''
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Changed line(s) 6 (click to see context) from:
--->'''David:''' Find Jeffrey Anderson... ''{{beat}}'' Can I touch your breasts?
to:
--->'''David:''' Find Jeffrey Anderson... ''{{beat}}'' ''({{beat}})'' Can I touch your breasts?
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Changed line(s) 4 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Montana:''' Well, we ''could'' have been!
to:
-->'''Montana:''' Well, we ''could'' have been!been!
** Another exchange:
--->'''David:''' Find Jeffrey Anderson... ''{{beat}}'' Can I touch your breasts?
--->'''Montana:''' '''FIND HIM!'''
** Another exchange:
--->'''David:''' Find Jeffrey Anderson... ''{{beat}}'' Can I touch your breasts?
--->'''Montana:''' '''FIND HIM!'''
