History Funny / Postal

11th Jun '16 8:17:31 PM valos
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** It's also possible to hold off on the petition objective until reaching Gary Coleman. If some well-placed violence disrupts the scripted book-signing without turning him hostile, it's possible to pester him for signatures. Leading to extra amusement if the attempt actually succeeds.
17th May '16 1:14:40 PM CoolPopper
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* Immediately following the elephant-killing errand in ''Apocalypse Weekend'', one of the animal rights activists shows up out of nowhere and declares you must be stopped. And then a rampaging elephant ''also'' shows up out of nowhere and kills him before he can do anything.

to:

* Immediately following the elephant-killing errand in ''Apocalypse Weekend'', one of the animal rights activists shows up out of nowhere and declares you must be stopped. [[DeathByIrony And then a rampaging elephant ''also'' shows up out of nowhere and kills him before he can do anything.]]
17th May '16 1:12:13 PM CoolPopper
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* Immediately following the elephant-killing errand in ''Apocalypse Weekend'', one of the animal rights activists shows up out of nowhere and declares you must be stopped. And then a rampaging elephant ''also'' shows up out of nowhere and [[Irony kills him before he can do anything.]]

to:

* Immediately following the elephant-killing errand in ''Apocalypse Weekend'', one of the animal rights activists shows up out of nowhere and declares you must be stopped. And then a rampaging elephant ''also'' shows up out of nowhere and [[Irony kills him before he can do anything.]]
17th May '16 1:11:30 PM CoolPopper
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* Immediately following the elephant-killing errand in ''Apocalypse Weekend'', one of the animal rights activists shows up out of nowhere and declares you must be stopped. And then a rampaging elephant ''also'' shows up out of nowhere and kills him before he can do anything.

to:

* Immediately following the elephant-killing errand in ''Apocalypse Weekend'', one of the animal rights activists shows up out of nowhere and declares you must be stopped. And then a rampaging elephant ''also'' shows up out of nowhere and [[Irony kills him before he can do anything.]]
1st May '16 2:38:38 PM BNSF1995
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If you have a small dick, step up closer to the plate.]]\\

to:

If you have a small dick, bat, step up closer to the plate.]]\\



[[AC:Damnit I said don't splash me, impotent human. Good God that is disgusting. Thanks for the urine.]]\\

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[[AC:Damnit I said don't splash me, impotent impudent human. Good God that is disgusting. Thanks for the urine.]]\\
8th Nov '15 6:25:06 PM Kadorhal
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[[GunNut "My president is]] [[Creator/CharltonHeston Chuck Heston]]. Here's your rebate, [[Film/PlanetOfTheApes1968 you damn dirty apes!]]"

to:

[[GunNut "My president is]] [[Creator/CharltonHeston Chuck Heston]]. Here's your rebate, [[Film/PlanetOfTheApes1968 you damn dirty apes!]]"apes!]]"\\



** It's made funnier when Gary threatens you with violence if he ever catches you selling it on eBay. If Gary ends up dying during the police brawl afterwards, The Postal Dude's wife will attempt to do this very thing once he returns home, since [[DeadArtistsAreBetter celebrity merchandise became more sought for after their death]].

to:

** It's made funnier when Gary threatens you with violence if he ever catches you selling it on eBay. If eBay, which becomes a BrickJoke at the end of the day:
-->'''Wife:''' Hey, did you get
Gary ends up dying during the police brawl afterwards, The Postal Dude's wife will attempt to do this very thing once he returns home, since Coleman's autograph? I can get a small fortune for it on eBay.\\
'''The Dude:''' Right, a ''small'' fortune. Say, aren't those things
[[DeadArtistsAreBetter celebrity merchandise became more sought for valuable after their death]]. the person is, um... deceased?]]\\
'''Wife:''' Yes. Why?\\
'''The Dude:''' [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial No reason. Can I borrow your computer?]]



** ''Paradise Lost'' gets not one, but ''two'' successor errands to the petition-signing. First is asking around for info about Champ on Monday, wherein the Dude shows off a picture of Champ to ask if the person has seen them... and they immediately run in terror. The Dude seems oblivious at first, but then quickly catches on. It also calls back to the petition, where the Dude tells the last person you ask to tell him if they've seen the dog in the picture, or else he'll follow them home and kill ''their'' dog.
-->'''The Dude:''' Hey, if I show you this picture, are you gonna run away screaming?\\
'''Citizen:''' The horror! ''(runs away screaming)''\\
'''The Dude:''' Yeah, that's what I thought would happen.
** The second is the charity drive on Wednesday, where one of your errands is to quickly get three-thousand dollars, so the Dude runs around town with an old-time cup asking for loose change. Like the petition, he starts out asking sweetly (though dodging explaining exactly what cause he's raising money for), gets annoyed if he asks to ask a second time, then threatens them for the third time. Unlike the petition, it's almost impossible to actually make enough money normally, as the split-personality starts hinting at after you've passed around 400 bucks.



* [[spoiler: Postal3!Dude]] manifest himself as the voice in the Postal Dude's head and often encourage him to just be violent (for example; he tells you to just kill the vendor during a very long wait). That's right, [[HatesEveryoneEqually The Postal Dude]] has an evil voice in his head.

to:

* [[spoiler: Postal3!Dude]] manifest Postal 3!Dude]] manifests himself as the voice in the Postal Dude's head and often encourage encourages him to just be violent (for example; he tells you to just kill the vendor vendors during a some very long wait). waits). That's right, [[HatesEveryoneEqually ''[[HatesEveryoneEqually The Postal Dude]] Dude]]'' has [[UpToEleven an evil voice in his head.head]].
6th Nov '15 2:11:22 AM cricri3007
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Added DiffLines:

* [[spoiler: Postal3!Dude]] manifest himself as the voice in the Postal Dude's head and often encourage him to just be violent (for example; he tells you to just kill the vendor during a very long wait). That's right, [[HatesEveryoneEqually The Postal Dude]] has an evil voice in his head.
4th Nov '15 7:12:01 PM Yalsaris63
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** It's made funnier when Gary threatens you with violence if he ever catches you selling it on eBay. If Gary ends up dying during the police brawl afterwards, The Postal Dude's wife will attempt to do this very thing once he returns home, since celebrity merchandise because more sought for after their death.
* The petition-signing mission is pretty funny, and a good change of pace from the run-and-gun nature of the rest of the game. All you need to do is walk up to multiple random people and ask them to sign the petition. However, not everyone will immediately sign it. If you ask once, it's a friendly ask. The second attempt is The Postal Dude irritatingly asking again, wanting to be done with the whole thing in general. The third time has The Postal Dude ''threating the person with violence to themselves and loved ones if they do not sign the petition''. Most cases, [[CaptainObvious the person runs in terror at the third attempt]]... or [[InvertedTrope kindly signs the petition.]]

to:

** It's made funnier when Gary threatens you with violence if he ever catches you selling it on eBay. If Gary ends up dying during the police brawl afterwards, The Postal Dude's wife will attempt to do this very thing once he returns home, since [[DeadArtistsAreBetter celebrity merchandise because became more sought for after their death.death]].
* The petition-signing mission is pretty funny, and a good change of pace from the run-and-gun nature of the rest of the game. All you need to do is walk up to multiple random people and ask them to sign the petition. However, not everyone will immediately sign it. If you ask once, it's a friendly ask. The second attempt is The Postal Dude irritatingly asking again, wanting to be done with the whole thing in general. The third time has The Postal Dude ''threating ''threatening the person with violence to themselves and loved ones if they do not sign the petition''. Most cases, [[CaptainObvious the person runs in terror at the third attempt]]... or [[InvertedTrope kindly signs the petition.]]
2nd Nov '15 9:45:43 PM Kadorhal
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--> [[HatesEveryoneEqually "I'm an equal opportunity lunatic."]]
--> [[GunNut "My president is]] [[Creator/CharltonHeston Chuck Heston]]."
--> [[OmnicidalManiac "The gene pool is stagnant, and I am the minister of chlorine."]]

to:

--> [[HatesEveryoneEqually -->[[HatesEveryoneEqually "I'm an equal opportunity equal-opportunity lunatic."]]
-->
"]]\\
[[GunNut "My president is]] [[Creator/CharltonHeston Chuck Heston]]."
-->
Heston]]. Here's your rebate, [[Film/PlanetOfTheApes1968 you damn dirty apes!]]"
[[OmnicidalManiac "The gene pool is stagnant, and I am the minister of chlorine."]]



--> '''The Postal Dude:''' Hey, Mr. Coleman. I love ''[[Series/TheFactsOfLife Facts of Life]]''! You ever "do" that [[Series/HappyDays Leather Tuscadero chick]]? [[note]] The joke being that Gary Coleman was in neither of these shows [[/note]]
--> ''*after signing book*''
--> '''Gary Coleman:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Thanks. You can leave now.]]
** It's made funnier when Gary threatens you with violence if he ever catches you selling it on EBay. If Gary ends up dying during the police brawl afterwards, The Postal Dude's wife will attempt to do this very thing once he returns home, since celebrity merchandise because more sought for after their death.
* The petition signing mission is pretty funny, and a good change of pace from the run-and-gun nature of the rest of the game. All you need to do is walk up to multiple random people and ask them to sign the petition. However, not everyone will immediately sign it. If you ask once, it's a friendly ask. The second attempt is The Postal Dude irritatingly asking again, wanting to be done with the whole thing in general. The third time has The Postal Dude ''threating the person with violence to themselves and loved ones if they do not sign the petition''. Most cases, [[CaptainObvious the person runs in terror at the third attempt]]... or [[InvertedTrope kindly signs the petition.]]

to:

--> '''The Postal Dude:''' Hey, Hello, Mr. Coleman. I love ''[[Series/TheFactsOfLife Facts of Life]]''! You ever "do" that [[Series/HappyDays Leather Tuscadero chick]]? [[note]] The joke being that Gary Coleman was in neither of these shows [[/note]]
-->
[[/note]]\\
''*after signing book*''
-->
book*''\\
'''Gary Coleman:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Thanks. You can leave now.]]
** It's made funnier when Gary threatens you with violence if he ever catches you selling it on EBay.eBay. If Gary ends up dying during the police brawl afterwards, The Postal Dude's wife will attempt to do this very thing once he returns home, since celebrity merchandise because more sought for after their death.
* The petition signing petition-signing mission is pretty funny, and a good change of pace from the run-and-gun nature of the rest of the game. All you need to do is walk up to multiple random people and ask them to sign the petition. However, not everyone will immediately sign it. If you ask once, it's a friendly ask. The second attempt is The Postal Dude irritatingly asking again, wanting to be done with the whole thing in general. The third time has The Postal Dude ''threating the person with violence to themselves and loved ones if they do not sign the petition''. Most cases, [[CaptainObvious the person runs in terror at the third attempt]]... or [[InvertedTrope kindly signs the petition.]]



* Just before the elephant-killing errand in ''Apocalypse Weekend'', one of the animal rights activists shows up out of nowhere and declares you must be stopped. And then one of the rampaging elephants kills him.

to:

* Just before Immediately following the elephant-killing errand in ''Apocalypse Weekend'', one of the animal rights activists shows up out of nowhere and declares you must be stopped. And then one of the a rampaging elephants elephant ''also'' shows up out of nowhere and kills him.him before he can do anything.


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* One of the errands on Monday of ''Paradise Lost'' tasks you with investigating the Creature Control Center and Pets' kennels to see if they have Champ. The Dude will comment on each dog in the kennels as he walks up to them - including a cat ("Well, that's not right at all") and one of the gimp-suited dogs from the end of ''Apocalypse Weekend'' ("you gotta be fucking kidding").
14th Aug '15 9:52:52 AM ZuTheSkunk
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* Every single time an NPC farts, they go "Ohhh, yeah".
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