History Funny / Portal2

16th May '17 4:37:51 PM HawkbitAlpha
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** Wheatley lays a turret trap for you only for them to be the defective turrets that you and him set up for [=GLaDOS=] earlier. One of them is still in it's box.

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** Wheatley lays a turret trap for you only for them to be the defective turrets that you and him set up for [=GLaDOS=] earlier. [[EpicFail One of them is still in it's its box.]]
16th May '17 1:45:12 AM HawkbitAlpha
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--->'''Cave Johnson:''' Oh, in case you get covered in that repulsion gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave me: ''[ruffles papers]'' ''DO NOT'' get covered in the repulsion gel. We haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet, but I'll tell you this, it's a lively one, and it does ''NOT'' like the human skeleton.

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--->'''Cave Johnson:''' Oh, in case you get covered in that repulsion gel, here's some advice the lab boys gave me: ''[ruffles papers]'' ''DO NOT'' ''[[NowYouTellMe DO NOT]]'' [[NowYouTellMe get covered in the repulsion gel. gel.]] We haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet, but I'll tell you this, it's a lively one, and it does ''NOT'' like the human skeleton.
30th Apr '17 5:25:26 AM amtgman
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-->'''Cave''': You are the world's first half-man, half-machine police officer. ''[{{beat}}]'' Well, first ''batch''. There was a pretty big shootout.

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-->'''Cave''': You are the world's first half-man, half-machine police officer. ''[{{beat}}]'' Well, first ''batch''. There was a pretty big shootout. Bought all your carcasses off the mayor.
27th Apr '17 11:31:01 PM ArcaneAzmadi
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* Wheatley rolling his eye when he turns on the flashlight but doesn't die, despite being told he would.


Added DiffLines:

* Wheatley rolling his eye when he turns on the flashlight but doesn't die, despite being told he would.
31st Mar '17 9:51:21 AM rjd1922
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* Even though it's probably for the better that they got changed, this early version of the dialogue when you [[spoiler:reunite for [=PotatOS=]]] is priceless:

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* Even though it's probably for the better that they got it was changed, this early version of the dialogue when you [[spoiler:reunite for [=PotatOS=]]] is priceless:
24th Mar '17 11:27:19 AM DoctorPretentious
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* '''TK!Cave:''' "[...] Let me tell ya' we picked up a real bunch of smartalecs to give mind powers to. Hey you! Stop blowing up heads! You know what? Negotiation's over. I'd like you all to meet Terry, he's gonn-- '''[BOOM]''' Ha! Real funny you guys! But you know what? Joke's on you! I taped all your paychecks to Terry's head. Ha! WHY DON'T YOU PUT THAT IN YOUR HEAD AND BLOW IT UP!?

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* '''TK!Cave:''' "[...] Let me tell ya' we picked up a real bunch of smartalecs to give mind powers to. Hey you! Stop blowing up heads! You know what? Negotiation's over. I'd like you all to meet Terry, he's gonn-- '''[BOOM]''' Ha! Real funny you guys! But you know what? Joke's on you! I taped all your paychecks to Terry's head. Ha! WHY DON'T YOU PUT THAT IN YOUR HEAD AND BLOW IT UP!?



* Warden!Cave subverting the AirVentEscape trope.
* Mantis!Cave is either this or pure NightmareFuel.

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* Warden!Cave Warden Cave subverting the AirVentEscape trope.
* Mantis!Cave Mantis Cave is either this or pure NightmareFuel.



* Space!Cave. Just Space!Cave.
-->'''Space!Cave:''' It's come to my attention that over half of our test subjects have only recently awoken from extended relaxation and were unaware that we're testing in space. So there it is: No conspiracy. No twist. We're in a test satellite orbiting the Earth. Commonly available information that absolutely anyone would have told you if you'd bothered to ask. Please stop forming groups of adventuring parties to uncover the big secret, because it's that we're in space.\\
'''Space!Cave:''' Another adventure party smashed through the hull to learn the big mystery. Guess they were busy doing that instead of testing, because I've mentioned we're in space every half hour. By the way: Still in space.\\
'''Space!Cave:''' Let's all give a big hand to the test subjects of Sphere Eighteen for bravely uncovering the company-wide conspiracy, which is that there's no air in space. Once again: We're in space. It's not a secret. I am sincerely regretting my decision not to install windows in this thing.
* Prisonship!Cave, learning the hazards of {{Force Field Door}}s when the power goes out.

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* Space!Cave. Space Cave. Just Space!Cave.
-->'''Space!Cave:'''
Space Cave.
-->'''Cave:'''
It's come to my attention that over half of our test subjects have only recently awoken from extended relaxation and were unaware that we're testing in space. So there it is: No conspiracy. No twist. We're in a test satellite orbiting the Earth. Commonly available information that absolutely anyone would have told you if you'd bothered to ask. Please stop forming groups of adventuring parties to uncover the big secret, because it's that we're in space.\\
'''Space!Cave:''' '''Cave:''' Another adventure party smashed through the hull to learn the big mystery. Guess they were busy doing that instead of testing, because I've mentioned we're in space every half hour. By the way: Still in space.\\
'''Space!Cave:''' '''Cave:''' Let's all give a big hand to the test subjects of Sphere Eighteen for bravely uncovering the company-wide conspiracy, which is that there's no air in space. Once again: We're in space. It's not a secret. I am sincerely regretting my decision not to install windows in this thing.
* Prisonship!Cave, Warden Cave, learning the hazards of {{Force Field Door}}s when the power goes out.



* [[http://i1.theportalwiki.net/img/2/2c/Cave_Johnson_dlc2_0560_altcave_hobo_king01.wav Hobo!Cave:]]

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* [[http://i1.theportalwiki.net/img/2/2c/Cave_Johnson_dlc2_0560_altcave_hobo_king01.wav Hobo!Cave:]] Hobo Cave:]]



* [[{{Portmanteau}} Blaperture]] [[VideoGame/HalfLife Mesa]], in all of its TakeThat glory[[note]]It does have a basis within the game storyline given the shared universe of VideoGame/HalfLife and Portal, Cave was pretty confident that the only reason they were losing money was because Black Mesa stole so much of their research. Now you know.[[/note]].
--> '''Blaperture!Cave:''' They tell me you people are conducting [[VideoGame/HalfLife1 some anomalous materials research that could result in a resonance cascade]], so I'm shutting that down before you idiots end the world. [[WhoWouldBeStupidEnough A resonance cascade. You're supposed to be scientists! Use some common sense!]]
* The universe where Nice!Cave uses "Chariots" for no reason, and how Cave Prime is obviously annoyed by him.

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* [[{{Portmanteau}} Blaperture]] [[VideoGame/HalfLife Mesa]], in all of its TakeThat glory[[note]]It glory. [[note]]It does have a basis within the game storyline given the shared universe of VideoGame/HalfLife and Portal, Cave was pretty confident that the only reason they were losing money was because Black Mesa stole so much of their research. Now you know.[[/note]].
[[/note]]
--> '''Blaperture!Cave:''' '''Cave:''' They tell me you people are conducting [[VideoGame/HalfLife1 some anomalous materials research that could result in a resonance cascade]], so I'm shutting that down before you idiots end the world. [[WhoWouldBeStupidEnough A resonance cascade. You're supposed to be scientists! Use some common sense!]]
* The universe where Nice!Cave Nice Cave uses "Chariots" for no reason, and how Cave Prime is obviously annoyed by him.



* "Anyway, this Earth is far too dangerous and we are pulling you out. [pause] Right after this test."
* " I'm Cave Johnson. I'm host to a tiny but powerful demon who lives in a secret place in my mouth."

to:

* "Anyway, this Earth is far too dangerous and we are pulling you out. [pause] [{{beat}}] Right after this test."
* " I'm "I'm Cave Johnson. I'm host to a tiny but powerful demon who lives in a secret place in my mouth."



* Dancing!Cave would like to remind you that the Dance Police will come if you aren't dancing.
* Creep!Cave. "I ''see'' you. I see your little ''feeet.'' I'm gonna cut off your little hair, and put it on your feet, and eat your little hair. *beat* Oh, and feet. Mmmmm numnumnumnumnumnum."

to:

* Dancing!Cave Dancing Cave would like to remind you that the Dance Police will come if you aren't dancing.
* Creep!Cave. "I ''see'' you. I see your little ''feeet.'' I'm gonna cut off your little hair, and put it on your feet, and eat your little hair. *beat* [{{beat}}] Oh, and feet. Mmmmm numnumnumnumnumnum."



* Do you have a "Greg" in your dimension? Do you want one? Ha ha! Greg come back! I wouldn't send you to Dark!Cave Earth! *beat* I would, Greg is on the table....

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* Do you have a "Greg" in your dimension? Do you want one? Ha ha! Greg come back! I wouldn't send you to Dark!Cave Dark Cave Earth! *beat* [{{beat}}] I would, Greg is on the table....



* At one point Dark!Cave pushes a ''solid block of pee'' into your universe from the portal, which doesn't fit back the other way around. Cave!Prime's solution? Melt it with hair dryers.

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* At one point Dark!Cave Dark Cave pushes a ''solid block of pee'' into your universe from the portal, which doesn't fit back the other way around. Cave!Prime's Cave Prime's solution? Melt it with hair dryers.
24th Mar '17 11:15:52 AM DoctorPretentious
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* [[spoiler: "You saved science!" Doubles as heartwarming, since this is pretty much the only time we see [=GLaDOS=] genuinely happy with something.]]

to:

* [[spoiler: "You [[AC:"You saved science!" science!"]] Doubles as heartwarming, since this is pretty much the only time we see [=GLaDOS=] genuinely happy with something.]]



-->[[spoiler:"Oh. It's you. Go away. [[HaveYouComeToGloat Come to gloat?]] Go on. Get a goooood lonnnnng look. Go on. Get a big fat eyeful. With your big fat eyes. That's right. [[ARareSentence A potato just called your eyes fat.]] Now your fat eyes have seen everything."]]

to:

-->[[spoiler:"Oh.-->[[spoiler:[[AC:Oh. It's you. Go away. [[HaveYouComeToGloat Come to gloat?]] Go on. Get a goooood lonnnnng look. Go on. Get a big fat eyeful. With your big fat eyes. That's right. [[ARareSentence A potato just called your eyes fat.]] Now your fat eyes have seen everything."]]]]]]
19th Mar '17 5:33:15 AM Siempie
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Added DiffLines:

* When Wheatley lashes out at [=GLaDOS=] in the testing chambers because she keeps calling him a moron, she comments on how she [[AC: "might have taken the moron-thing a little too far this time"]]. Enter the next chamber, and you hear a harpsichord playing one of Bach's symphonies as Wheatley attempts to make it clear that he knows his classics. You can practically ''hear'' the facepalm in [=GLaDOS=]'s voice.
-->'''[=GLaDOS=]''' ''(exasperated)'' [[AC: Ohhh no, he's playing classical music...]]
19th Jan '17 3:55:40 AM Nyperold
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** When you get into the excursion funnel, he starts EvilGloating. If you get out of the excursion funnel, he says that he had a really good line. When you get back in, he gloats about how you were foolish to get back in, so you can get out... this repeats a couple more times until he gets frustrated and tells you until you play along he's not going to continue his rant.
10th Jan '17 4:56:32 PM Ggb81
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--> '''[=GLaDOS=]''': [[AC:According to the test results, that jumpsuit makes you look stupid. No, really, there's a note right here. It says it looks fine on everyone else, but on ''you'', it looks stupid. But what would some neckbearded old engineer know about that? ...Oh, it says here that it was a woman. Well, what does ''she'' know? ...Oh, wait, she had a medical degree. In ''fashion''. From ''France!'']]

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--> '''[=GLaDOS=]''': [[AC:According to the test results, that [[AC:That jumpsuit makes you look stupid. No, really, there's a note right here. It says it looks fine on everyone else, but on ''you'', it you're wearing looks stupid. But That's not me talking, it's right here in your file. On other people it looks fine, but right here a scientist has noted that on you it looks 'stupid.' Well, what would some neckbearded does a neck-bearded old engineer know about that? ...fashion? He probably - Oh, it says here that it was wait. It's a woman. Well, she. Still, what does ''she'' know? ...Oh, she know? Oh wait, it says she had has a medical degree. In ''fashion''. ''fashion!'' From ''France!'']]
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