History Funny / NewTricks

3rd Jul '14 11:30:18 PM mlsmithca
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--> '''Brian''': If you were robbing a security van and wanted to immobilise the guard inside, where would you shoot him?
--> '''Clarke''': ... The head?
--> '''Brian''': ... You'll notice, Clarkie, I said 'immobilise', not 'kill instantly in an unnecessary bloodbath'.
--> '''Clarke''': ... The leg.
--> '''Brian''': The leg! Good! Leg.
--> '''Clarke''': Or the foot.
--> '''Brian''': Let's just stick with the leg.
--> '''Clarke''': ''[Eagerly, getting a bit carried away]'' ''Both'' legs.
--> '''Brian''': ''[Exasperated]'' One leg would probably suffice!
--> '''Clarke''': But ''two'' to make sure.
--> '''Brian''': It's a thirty second situation, Clarke! You shoot a man in the leg, he's really not going anywhere.
--> '''Clarke''': But if you've already shot him in one leg, he's kind of stuck ''in situ'' while I shoot in in the other one. Might as well. Bang, number one -- he can't move. Bang, number two -- he really ''really'' can't move.
--> ''[Brian is utterly lost for words for a moment]''
--> '''Brian''': ... Get your coat, son.

to:

--> '''Brian''': -->'''Brian''': If you were robbing a security van and wanted to immobilise the guard inside, where would you shoot him?
-->
him?\\
'''Clarke''': ... The head?
-->
head?\\
'''Brian''': ... You'll notice, Clarkie, I said 'immobilise', not 'kill instantly in an unnecessary bloodbath'.
-->
bloodbath'.\\
'''Clarke''': ... The leg.
-->
leg.\\
'''Brian''': The leg! Good! Leg.
-->
Leg.\\
'''Clarke''': Or the foot.
-->
foot.\\
'''Brian''': Let's just stick with the leg.
-->
leg.\\
'''Clarke''': ''[Eagerly, getting a bit carried away]'' ''Both'' legs.
-->
legs.\\
'''Brian''': ''[Exasperated]'' One leg would probably suffice!
-->
suffice!\\
'''Clarke''': But ''two'' to make sure.
-->
sure.\\
'''Brian''': It's a thirty second situation, Clarke! You shoot a man in the leg, he's really not going anywhere.
-->
anywhere.\\
'''Clarke''': But if you've already shot him in one leg, he's kind of stuck ''in situ'' while I shoot in in the other one. Might as well. Bang, number one -- he can't move. Bang, number two -- he really ''really'' can't move.
-->
move.\\
''[Brian is utterly lost for words for a moment]''
-->
moment]''\\
'''Brian''': ... Get your coat, son.



--> '''Sandra''': You slept with her.
--> '''Gerry''': Yeah.
--> '''Sandra''': You disgust me.
--> '''Gerry''': We never discussed you at all!

to:

--> '''Sandra''': -->'''Sandra''': You slept with her.
-->
her.\\
'''Gerry''': Yeah.
-->
Yeah.\\
'''Sandra''': You disgust me.
-->
me.\\
'''Gerry''': We never discussed you at all!



--> '''Gerry''': Well he's dead enough, he's hardly gonna walk in on us!

to:

--> '''Gerry''': -->'''Gerry''': Well he's dead enough, he's hardly gonna walk in on us!
23rd Jun '13 4:42:17 AM Finister2
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* Gerry chewing out [[spoiler: the misogynistic Fred Blackridge]], in a magnificent ReasonYouSuckSpeech. Considering that [[spoiler: he was reading the man's books and agreeing with many of the points.]] Sandra approved.
6th Jan '13 12:08:22 AM mlsmithca
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* Gerry's response to a religous man's claim that his deceased friend has AscendToAHigherPlaneOfExistence:

to:

* Gerry's response to a religous religious man's claim that his deceased friend has AscendToAHigherPlaneOfExistence:
18th Oct '12 2:08:56 AM Finister2
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* Gerry's response to a religous man's glame that his deceased friend has AscendToAHigherPlaneOfExistence:

to:

\n* Gerry's response to a religous man's glame claim that his deceased friend has AscendToAHigherPlaneOfExistence:
1st Oct '12 10:48:38 AM Finister2
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* Gerry chewing out [[spoiler: the misogynistic Fred Blackridge]], in a magnificent ReasonYouSuckSpeech. Considering that [[spoiler: he was reading the man's books and agreeing with many of the points.]] Sandra approved.

to:

* Gerry chewing out [[spoiler: the misogynistic Fred Blackridge]], in a magnificent ReasonYouSuckSpeech. Considering that [[spoiler: he was reading the man's books and agreeing with many of the points.]] Sandra approved.approved.

* Gerry's response to a religous man's glame that his deceased friend has AscendToAHigherPlaneOfExistence:
--> '''Gerry''': Well he's dead enough, he's hardly gonna walk in on us!
20th Jan '12 1:18:08 PM Theenmityofages1994
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--> '''Gerry''': We never discussed you at all!

to:

--> '''Gerry''': We never discussed you at all!all!
* Gerry chewing out [[spoiler: the misogynistic Fred Blackridge]], in a magnificent ReasonYouSuckSpeech. Considering that [[spoiler: he was reading the man's books and agreeing with many of the points.]] Sandra approved.
8th Aug '11 1:25:08 PM AckSed
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* This exchange between Brian and P.C Clarke in the first season, discussing a security guard wounded in a robbery connected to a case, something of which has peaked Brian's interest:

to:

* This exchange between Brian and P.C Clarke in the first season, discussing a security guard wounded in a robbery connected to a case, something of which has peaked piqued Brian's interest:
10th Jul '11 7:54:57 PM saccharissa
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--> '''Brian''': ... Get your coat, son.

to:

--> '''Brian''': ... Get your coat, son.son.
* Sandra confronts Gerry regarding his interview with a former (female) Police Detective:
--> '''Sandra''': You slept with her.
--> '''Gerry''': Yeah.
--> '''Sandra''': You disgust me.
--> '''Gerry''': We never discussed you at all!
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Funny.NewTricks