History Funny / NeedfulThings

''(Myrtle has a "is this actually happening?" look on her face)''\\

'''Danforth Keaton:''' [[SarcasmMode Oh, nothing's wrong. Things are better than they've been in years.]] I just, uh, need a little help, is all.\\

'''Danforth Keaton:''' [[SarcasmMode Nothing's wrong. Things are better than they've been in years.]] I just need a little help, is all.\\

'''Danforth Keaton:''' [[DeadpanSnarker Aren't you the fucking genius!]] ''(laugh)'' Get me that hacksaw, will you?

'''Danforth Keaton:''' Nothing's wrong. Things are better than they've been in years. I just need a little help, is all.\\

''(Myrtle can't quite believe what she's seeing)''\\

'''Danforth Keaton:''' Nothing's wrong. Things are better than they've been in years, I just need a little help is all.\\
'''Myrtle Keaton:''' Danforth, you're handcuffed to the door.\\
'''Danforth Keaton:''' Aren't you the fucking genius! ''(laugh)'' Get me that hacksaw, will you?

-->'''Keeton:''' ''(on phone to Gaunt)'' I just killed my wife. Is that wrong? I didn't mean to.\\

'''Myrtle Keaton:''' Danforth you're handcuffed to the door.\\

-->'''Keeton:''' ''(on phone to Gaunt)'' I just killed my wife. Is that wrong? I didn't mean to.\\
'''Gaunt:''' ''(very {{affably|Evil}})'' Hey, these things happen.''

** Also:

** We also have this:

''(after getting his wife to come into the garage, where Dan is still handcuffed to the door)''\\
'''Murtle Keaton:''' Danforth you're handcuffed to the door.\\

--->'''Danforth Keaton:''' "Hi, my name is Dan and I'm here to blow up your stupid town!"//
'''Danforth Keaton:''' ... it was you all along you scuz bucket!//

--->'''Danforth Keaton:''' "Hi, my name is Dan and I'm here to blow up your stupid town!"/

*** The TNT extended version changes the swear words to childish insults, making the above exchange even funnier.

** Also, somewhat BlackComedy.

-->'''Keeton:''' ''(on phone to Gaunt)'' I just killed my wife. Is that wrong? I didn't mean to.
-->'''Gaunt:''' ''(very {{affably|Evil}})'' Hey, these things happen.''

-->'''Gaunt:''' ''(with a evil mischievous smirk)'' Oops!
-->''(A deranged Dan Keaton suddenly comes out of the shop, armed with a sniper rifle)''
-->'''Danforth Keaton:''' If anybody's finished in this town, it's ''you'' Pangborn!
-->'''Gaunt:''' Finally, a man with some sense.
-->'''Danforth Keaton:''' You guys sound like a fucking AA meeting! ''(puts down his rifle)'' "Hi, my name is Dan and I'm here to blow up--" ''(opens his coat to reveal a bomb vest)'' "--your fucking town!"
** The TNT extended version changes the swear words to childish insults, making the above exchange even funnier.

** Also.

-->'''Gaunt:''' ''(with a evil mischievous smirk)'' Whoops!

-->''(after Pangborn proclaims that Gaunt is finished, a shot suddenly rings out, hitting the Sheriff in the shoulder and knocking him to the ground)''

-->'''Keeton:''' ''(on phone to Gaunt)'' I just killed my wife. Is that wrong? I didn't mean to
-->'''Gaunt:''' ''(very {{affably|Evil}})'' Hey, these things happen.

-->'''Keeton:''' ''(on phone to Gaunt)'' I just killed my wife. Is that bad?

* In the middle of the dark and violent climax, [[PaedoHunt Frank Jewett and George Nelson]] line up on the steps of the Municipal Building for an old-fashioned DuelToTheDeath. [[spoiler: They somehow manage to [[ShootTheBullet bounce each other's bullets out of the air]], but after standing dumbfounded for a few seconds, both [[AssholeVictim despicable men]] are abruptly vaporized anyway when the building explodes.]]

* The scene where Buster Keeton finds the hundreds of parking tickets in his living room accusing him of [[BerserkButton embezzlement]] is initially a creepy FreakOut, but Keaton is such a [[AssholeVictim tool]] and the messages on the pink slips start getting so creatively insulting, you can't help but laugh at the '''very''' BlackComedy.

* The sudden burst of slapstick nonsense around John's extremely messy desk.

* Alan recalls a brothel madam he once arrested: "The woman had offered him a bribe, and when he turned that down, she had tried very earnestly to knock his brains out with a birdcage. The tenant, a scrofulous parrot who sometimes said "I fucked your mamma, Frank" in a morose and thoughtful voice, had still been in the cage at the time."

OTHER VIOLATION(S): FINANCIAL FAGGOTRY

* The scene in ''Literature/NeedfulThings'' where Keaton finds the hundreds of parking tickets in his living room accusing him of [[BerserkButton embezzlement]] is initially a creepy FreakOut, but Keaton is such a [[AssholeVictim tool]] and the messages on the pink slips start getting so creatively insulting, you can't help but laugh at the '''very''' BlackComedy.

LIC. #: OLDFUCK1\\

-->MAKE: SHITMOBILE
-->MODEL: OLD AND WEARY
-->LIC. #: OLDFUCK I
-->OTHER VIOLATION(S): FINANCIAL FAGGOTRY